firehose

Despite some rumblings of retirement in 2013, all of the recent shifts in late night, and those episodes of Louie, David Letterman isn’t going anywhere. CBS confirmed today that it has extended Letterman’s contract to 2015, guaranteeing he’ll remain the host of the Late Show for at least two more years before he’s allowed to stop putting all of life’s foibles into list form, night after night, his head forever swirling with the numbers, the numbers, the numbers that demand to be mathematically assigned to quips about the day’s current events, the walls blanketed with hastily scrawled calculations that only lead him further and further away from cracking laughter’s code. “But I’m so close!” Letterman will cry before collapsing to the floor in 2015, his final equation of “Number 8: Miley Cyrus” doomed never to be completed.

Less insane and more significant ...

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You probably already know that Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart have been hanging out in New York City and ruining all of our lives with awesome photos. Well, McKellen posted this on his twitter earlier this week, and it blows the others out of the water. I don't even know how to comment on this. It should be framed and preserved forever for posterity because it is a beautiful thing.

They start 'em off young in Seahawks country. But seriously, how many 3-year-olds in the country know who their favorite team's offensive line coach is?

NEW YORK—Saying he would be fine “just taking a load off” and eating in, rock icon David Bowie reportedly asked his wife, Somali supermodel and actress Iman, if they should just do lasagna for dinner again Monday. 

WASHINGTON—As the federal government shutdown stretches into its fourth day, 20 members of the Republican’s Tea Party faction announced this morning they would be willing to support a clean budget resolution bill in exchange for the president...

Conservatives can, and have, shut down abortion clinics. They can, and have, cut funding to reproductive rights organizations like Planned Parenthood and blocked sex education from being taught in schools. BUT THEY CANNOT TAKE AWAY OUR PHONES:

One goal of the national Planned Parenthood organization is to be there for those young people—to, as Leslie Kantor, vice president for education at Planned Parenthood Federation of America, put it “reach them in their urgent moment of need.” Their solution was to offer live counselors able to answer questions either by text or through online chat, and their research, published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research, shows that the new program has been successful, reaching more than 250,000 people since it began in September 2010.

On Monday to Thursday, from 9 a.m. to midnight; Friday, 9 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Saturday: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., and Sunday, 2 p.m. to midnight (all times Eastern), 20 well-trained staff members take questions. “Our staff have to be very good at assessing the question behind the question,” Ms. Kantor said. “Frequently people present with an anxiety that may be based on misinformation. They’re assuming they’re already pregnant when the condom broke 10 minutes ago.”

You can view the Chat/Text here and you can ask questions by text to 774636. This is the best use of text messages I can think of.

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Terry Crews is ready to become a superhero—or at least, play one on screen. In an interview with Newsarama, the Brooklyn Nine-Nine actor talks about voicing Blade for the Disney Channel’s upcoming Ultimate Spider-Man Halloween Special, and uses this as a springboard to discussing his superhero dream roles. “One character I always thought I could play is the Thing from Fantastic Four,” Crews says. “Another character I’ve always loved as a fan is Colossus. If there was a way to make that happen that worked, I would love to be Colossus.”

Perhaps remembering the backlash against the campaign to make Donald Glover into Spider-Man, Crews is quick to point out, “You can’t make yourself President; the people make you the President. If people want me to be a part of this superhero genre, it’ll happen. People get what they want. I feel like we need ...

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At least two Houston-area McDonald's have banned low-slung, baggy trousers. "The signs say, 'Pull your pants up or don't come in. Try to have some decency and respect for others. No one wants to see your underwear,'"

Authorities issued mandatory evacuation orders for low-lying areas south of New Orleans on Friday as a weakened Tropical Storm Karen closed in on the Louisiana coast after disrupting U.S. energy output in the Gulf of Mexico. Karen's top winds were holding at 50 mph, down from 65 mph a day earlier, and National Hurricane Center forecasters in Miami said the storm looked less likely to strengthen into a hurricane.

A controversial new crematory in Montavilla isn't spewing the soil-poisoning mercury neighbors fear, according to a Portland environmental services firm.

PBS Engineering and Environmental was hired by Portland Public Schools last month to study soil at Vestal School, which sits about a block from Gable Funeral Home and Cremation Service. As the Mercury's reported, the business has raised eyebrows since firing up an incinerator in February.

Neighbors report "sickly sweet" smells and noxious black smoke. They're concerned the company is flouting conditions of its permit and coating the area around NE 80th and Everett with harmful particulates.

But PBS found no reason for alarm [pdf]. In tests conducted on swabs of Vestal's roof and soil samples, the company detected mercury levels well below concentrations in other parts of the metro area.

"Sampling data do not indicate that there is a mercury concern related to the operation of the crematorium," a report reads. "If significant and measurable quantities of mercury were emitted by this crematorium, one would expect to see more consistency in the levels of mercury detected in all the samples."

It's doubtful this news will much dissuade neighbors, who've insisted the crematory is consistently releasing toxic stuff into the air at greater levels than environmental law permits. They're working with state representatives on potential legislation to curb crematories in residential neighborhoods.

Interestingly, the crematory is allowed in Montavilla under a similar designation that Commissioner Amanda Fritz wants to use to move homeless rest area Right 2 Dream Too under the Broadway Bridge: It's a "community service."

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I saved every penny and a few months ago I bought a house with the money I saved. It’s outside of the city in an area with a lot of tourists.

As the first potentially deadly hurricane of the season nears the Gulf Coast, government employees are working around the clock to monitor it and issue warnings. And they're doing it for free, because of the government shutdown.

Yale University students are being terrorized by what some students are referring to as a "poopetrator."

Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba isn’t just looking to the US as a potential home for its much-anticipated IPO. It’s also looking to the country as a fountain of innovation that can boost its growing business in China and around the world. The company, often described as Asia’s answer to Ebay or Amazon, has led a late round of financing for Quixey, a US-based search engine for apps on mobile devices.

The investment adds to the company’s efforts to bolster is mobile platforms ahead of its much-vaunted IPO expected to value the business at more than $75 billion. Last week, Alibaba walked away from talks with the Hong Kong Stock Exchange about its flotation when the bourse would not agree to loosen its corporate governance standards. In a blow for Hong Kong’s aspirations as a global financial center, the company is now expected to list in New York. The company has also invested in US sports retailer Fanatics and e-commerce platform ShopRunner in the walkup to its public offering.

Quixey’s technology allows users to search for apps based on what they want to do or buy, without knowing its name or who it was developed by. Smartphone adoption in China, Alibaba’s main market, is surging. And Alibaba is trying to avoid the mistakes of Facebook, which was beset by concerns about its mobile platform after it debuted on the New York Stock Exchange last year.

“Innovation is at the heart of Alibaba’s culture, so backing entrepreneurs who are developing forward-thinking technology is what we love to do,” Alibaba’s  vice chairman and founder Joe Tsai said in a statement released by Quixey.

For the Halloween season, Williams-Sonoma have made Skull Pancake Molds. To flip the skull-shaped pancakes you can make with these special molds, they also sell skull-shaped spatulas.

via Pee-wee Herman

source: girlslovesuperheroes: I recently been told my daughter’s pics have been all over...

Bob Goldstein isn't just an awesome scientist who works with tardigrades (AKA waterbears, the LOLcuties of the microscopic world). He's also a fantastic graphic designer, who creates these rock posters for scientific lectures at UNC Chapel Hill where he works. Check out his latest creations!

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Aiming to differentiate itself from the half-dozen other Frankenstein projects in the works, I, Frankenstein does so by asking what if Frankenstein's creation were not a hideous, shambling testament to man’s unwise attempt to play God, but rather a surly action hero in a hoodie? Like the star of The CW’s Beauty And The Blemish before him, Aaron Eckhart reimagines another classic monster as a ripped, handsome guy with scars that are totally disfiguring, according to the script. And, again like so many other classic reimaginings of late, the film mostly involves Eckhart punching and swinging weapons in slow motion at a bunch of CGI—all as part of some convoluted “ancient demon” mythology that probably makes total sense in the graphic novel it’s based on, but is here so would-be-franchise formulaic it borders on parody (and renders the trailer’s highlighting that it comes “from ...

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Obama ate a macadamia nut cookie the Taylor Gourmet staff gave him. The sandwich shop is giving furloughed workers a 10 percent discount and a free cookie. Obama said he has to pay because he isn't furloughed. Brendan Buck, a spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner, tweeted a hopeful message: "Common ground: John Boehner really likes Taylor Gourmet."

“I don’t know if he just bit me or something… Ow…”

A cute otter approaches a man and a woman on the side of the road and begins playing around like a dog. The otter runs around the lady’s legs, rolls over, and even manages to give her a playful bite on the leg.

video via Jck Holmes

via reddit, Daily Picks and Flicks

The Portland Retro Gaming Expo is this weekend, which is excellent news if it's time for you to stock up on retro console games, play pinball or retro arcade games for an entire day, or have those long-honed Mario Kart skills finally pay off. This year's expo also has a full weekend's schedule of panels, comedy, concerts, and burlesque. (Because Samas Aran, am I right, fellas?)

We recommend you check out the 2013 World Tetris Championships if you want to be thoroughly impressed by the best people in the world at arranging blocks really quickly. You can even enter, if you want—but you may want to scope out your competition ahead of time by watching Ecstasy of Order: The Tetris Masters, the Tetris documentary that follows some of the competitors that will be hanging in our fair city this weekend.

The expo is an impressive thing: What started in 2006 as a collectibles buy-and-sell show with 300 attendees in a Vancouver hotel recently moved to the Oregon Convention Center and will be there again this year, both Saturday and Sunday. A weekend pass is $30 at the door.

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JR West World Map


Osaka - English


Osaka - Japanese

Official Map: Isometric JR West System Map

I’m not sure if I’ve ever been so completely, madly and totally in love with a transit map as I am with this. A giant, sprawling, isometric representation of much of Japan showing JR Group railway lines. The map is produced by the JR West company, and its operating area is shown in full detail within the green area (apart from the heavily urbanised areas around Osaka, Kyoto and Kobe, where — wisely — not all stations are shown). Connecting services and routes operated outside the JR West area are also shown, but in less detail — only major stations along the routes are indicated. Shinkansen lines are light blue, JR West main line routes are dark blue (main line routes outside their operating area match the company that operates in that area - red for JR Kyushu, for example), while urban routes seem to follow their established colour-coding.

As can be seen from the two detail images from the area around Osaka, there’s both an English and Japanese version of the map. The Japanese version is arguably more effective because of the in-built ability to set the text vertically, but the English version isn’t half bad either. I particularly like the way the line names have been set to conform to the isometric grid — a very nice design touch.

Our rating: I like to imagine that this is the world map from some incredible railroad-building computer game. 5 stars!

(Source: Official JR West website)

Rob Lowe’s upcoming departure from Parks And Recreation now makes slightly more sense, besides the fact that his and Rashida Jones’ characters are graciously taking their “raising a baby” storyline to the nearby town of Tropeville. Lowe is in talks to head up his own single-camera workplace comedy on NBC, The Pro, from sitcom vets Pete Huyck and Alex Gregory, with Lowe starring as a former tennis champ fallen on hard times who’s forced to ply his Rob Lowe charms on the members of his local tennis club. NBC has already given The Pro a production commitment, meaning it jumped immediately at the prospect of keeping Rob Lowe in shorts as part of its primetime lineup. Presumably that was the entirety of the pitch. Either that, or, “It’s like Eastbound And Down, only with tennis and not being an asshole.” 

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Dinosaur erotica is a real thing. Repeat: There are modern stories about women being taken and ravished by pterodactyls and triceratops. The Cut did God’s work and tracked down two popular dino-rotica authors, Alara Branwen and Christie Sims, for an interview.

In the talk, twentysomething college students Branwen and Sims (not their real names, because would you write dino porn under your real name?) reveal that together, they make more than their friends who are engineers and accountants combined. They’ve written about 200 short, erotic stories, most of them about dinosaurs or monsters of some sort, and Branwen, for one, got into the business because she realized that she could make more money writing stories about “dragons having their way with busty maidens” than she could as a supermarket clerk. Fair enough, really. Someone’s got to do it. 

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