Adding @marcholasmoth ’s tags because that is legitimately a fun fact
That context definitely puts a new spin on the phrase, though. Like, that’s not expressing a normal kind of happy. That’s expressing “I’m not currently experiencing gut churning legitimate fear for my life, which is nice”
picture this, i give you a glass bottle and tell you to open it, but bottle openers are forbidden, how do you do it?
im talking about this bitch btw
I think the shoe trick would work on this:
ALT
When I was a kid my older cousins used to sit around at night during family reunions inventing new and uh probably unadvised ways to open these
Counter edge - successful
Stick from the woods - not successful
Stick from the firepit (not on fire) - not successful
Shoe - not successful
Small rock - successful (bandaid needed)
Large rock - successful
Stick from firepit (on fire) - successful
Stone from firepit (fire in pit) - successful
Edge of fire barrel (fire in barrel) - successful
Log from bonfire (large) (on fire) - unknown everyone was too drunk and cousin fell in fire (he lived to be mocked forever)
Tree - unsuccessful 1 time and successful 1 time but also boring so attempts abandoned
Marshmellow stick (marshmallow on stick) - unsuccessful (marshmallow fell in dirt)
Knife (little) - successful
Knife knife (medium) - successful (bandaid needed but not for the cousin trying this but for my brother who caught the knife with his foot when cousin dropped it)
Was meditating in the woods this morning and a bug comes up to me doing this elaborate mating dance. Women can’t do anything 😔🙄
“Hey baby” [opens and closes wings] “what do you think of these” [advances and opens and closes wings again] “you know you want some of this” [advances and opens and closes wings again] “Yeah, you like that don’t you”
I JUST learned that this shirt cost them $10,000 to put into this movie… but they refused to compromise because they were like: he’s the hugest Golden Girls fan… this has to make the movie… so they paid $10,000 to use Bea Arthur’s likeness on this shirt… Ryan Reynolds, you’re doing Deadpool so right.
They traded all the guns in the final climactic showdown for Bea Arthur’s face. Worth it.
Reynolds paid it himself, out of pocket. It didn’t come from the budget. He talked with Bea’s sons and they agreed to it for a donation to Bea’s favorite charity. ☺️
I did not know that. That’s so much better than I could have imagined.
It’s important to note that the aforementioned charity is a charity that offers housing to homeless LGBTQ youth
them: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST MEANS HUMANS MUST BE INDIVIDUALLY SELF-SUFFICIENT AND COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT
biologist:
Like literally the only reason we didn’t go extinct is because we are aggressively social creatures who community organized and helped each other when faced with disasters that drove other species over the brink.
(Like we’re so aggressively social that we looked at APEX PREDATORS and went ‘they look soft! Friend????’)
(The answer was yes because wolves are also aggressively social and they adopted the strange tall not-wolves just as eagerly.)
humans @ wolves: holy shit these things are so cute i wonder if they’ll let us pet them?
wolves @ humans: holy shit these things are so cute i wonder if they’ll pet us?
social darwinism is a concept exclusively employed by people who are both evil and pseudointellectual, 100% of the time, & is basically always code for upholding white supremacy and patriarchy
there may be a day that i don’t reblog this post, but it’s not today
there may be a day
that i don’t reblog this post,
but it’s not today
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
We literally evolved in symbiosis with another species (honeyguides). Honeyguide finds beehive, human opens beehive, honeyguide eats grubs and wax, human eats honey. Self-sufficiency isn’t on the menu.
mutualistic symbiosis is so fundamental to every ecosystem, plants would never even have come on land without it
When I was still confident that there was goodness in the world, it was because of Car Talk. It was a radio show, put on by two guys who knew a better-than-average amount of stuff about cars. People would call in, give them their sob stories, and then the two of them would work hard to solve that problem right on the air.
What I used to do is the same thing you do when you watch Jeopardy! - shout out the answer before the contestants do. The special care home got really pissed when I did that, though, so I tried to always wait until I was 100% sure of the answer. Got medicated once on a Reagan quote, but it was worth it. Was a Daily Double. Where was I? Oh yes, Car Talk.
See, the thing is, most people’s car problems are simple. Brakes making a weird noise? Make sure you still have brakes, then if you really must, grease them. Transmission acting weird at the light? You have the impure soul of an automatic-transmission owner, and must immediately repent with the smallest and most lethal pseudo-Italian sports-car you can find. Ducks attacking your car? Well, that one’s different. I was stumped about that one for hours, even after the broadcast.
As soon as the caller described their problem, “Click Tappet” chimed in and told her to get a new belt for her alternator. That would make the ducks go away. This made no sense to me at the time, and I began to worry that my grip on reality was beginning to fade. To test this, I drove to the park, where I knew a bunch of ducks liked to sit in the pond.
In those times, and also in these times, I too had a squeaky alternator belt. I didn’t think much of it: a bit of noise just tells me the engine hasn’t stalled yet, and helps convince even the bravest pedestrians that I might have bad brakes, too (I did.) I drove right across the park boundaries, down the hill, and up against the duck pond. There, I would know the truth of the duck-attack legend.
Rev. Squeak squeak squeak. Rev. Squeak squeak squeak. Nothing happening. Maybe I misheard, and this only worked for serpentine belt configurations? That’s when I saw it. A mass of ducks swarming out of the pond, climbing onto my hood. I threw the thing into reverse and tried to peel out. No good. Their wet feathers dripping on the dirt beneath my tires, turning it into gripless mud.
The last time I saw that particular car, the taillights were sinking into the duck pond, surrounded by a thick swarm of angry mallards. One day I’ll learn my lesson about messing with National Public Radio, but this was just the first of many run-ins I had with the Magilozzis over the years.
This was meant to be a quick warm up, but it turned into a comic that I’ve wanted to draw for a while. This is something that is extremely important to me, and I appreciate it if you read it.
A while ago, I heard a story that broke my heart. A family went a cat shelter to adopt. The daughter fell in love with a 3-legged cat. The father straight up said “absolutely not”. Because he was missing a leg. That cat was that close to having a family that loved him, but the missing leg held him back. Why?!
Many people have the initial instinct of “nope” when they see an imperfect animal. I get it, but less-adoptable does NOT mean less loveable. 9 out of 10 people will choose a kitten over an adult cat. And those 10% that would get an adult cat often overlook “different” animals.
All I want people to do is be open to the idea of having a “different” pet in their lives. Choose the pet that you fall in love with, but at least give all of them a fair shot at winning your heart.
Don’t dismiss them, they deserve a loving home just as much as any other cat. They still purr, they still love a warm lap, they still play, they still love you. Trust me, next time you are in the market for a new kitty, just go over to that one cat that’s missing an eye and see what he’s all about!
Let me tell to you a thing.
This is Lenore. I first saw her in a little cage at the Petco I frequent (I used to take my parents’ dog in for puppy play time), and she looked like the grouchiest, old, crotchety cat in the world, and I fell instantly in love. She was cranky, she was anti-social, hanging out at the back of her cage. Her fur was matted because she wouldn’t let the groomers near her.
She was perfect.
But I didn’t have a place for her. I wasn’t living in my own space yet, and where I was, I wasn’t allowed cats. So I pressed my face to the bars of her cage and I promised that if no one had adopted her by the time I’d bought a house, I would come back for her.
I visited her every week for over six months while I looked for a house. At one point, they had to just shave her entire rear-end because the mats of fur were so bad. They told me she clawed the heck outta the groomer that did it, screamed the entire time, and spent the next two days growling at anyone that came near the cage.
A couple of weeks later, I closed on my house. I went back and I got an employee, and I said: “That one. I need that cat.”
They got the paperwork and the lady who ran the rescue that was bringing the cats in told me that Lenore (at the time, Lila) was 8 years old, had been owned by an elderly lady who had died, and brought in to a different rescue, who’d had her for six months on top of the time I’d been seeing her at Petco.
This kitty had been living in a 3x3’ cube for over a YEAR because she was older and “less adoptable.”
I signed the paperwork, put her in a cat carrier, and drove her to my new home. I had pretty much nothing; a bed, an old couch, a couple of bookcases, and a tank of mice I called “Cat TV”. I let her out of the carrier and onto my bed, and I told her “I told you I would come back for you when I had a place. It’s not much, but it’s yours too now.”
Lenore spent the next three days straight purring non-stop. She followed me around the house purring. Sat next to me purring. Slept next to me purring. Leaning into every touch, purring, purring, always purring. She still purrs if you so much as think about petting her. She’s amazing, and I love her.
So, you know, if you’re thinking about adopting, and you see a beast that others consider “less adoptable,” think about Lenore.
Dangit I’m crying
Crying, too! I don’t care if this is off-topic; it’s too important not to share.
As a humane society volunteer I cannot scroll past this. Please, adopt our older animals!
I feel like a broken cat at the shelter every day.
Please share.
I had my deaf cat for 18 years and i don’t know if i’ll ever meet such a gentle cat again.
I’d say someone who fought in a war for their country, defended their citizens, and especially those that lost limbs in their service, they’ve paid enough to their nation and protected their people as much as anyone should be expected to do so.
But of course the largest conservative media outlet would conveniently fail to acknowledge Duckworth’s service, injuries, and honorable discharge. And of course they would fail to highlight that Illinois honors and serves its disabled veterans in such a meaningful and unique way.
It’s almost like conservatives aren’t the party of families, veterans, and national defense?
One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands
Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double
So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him
Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro
I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.
Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.
After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.
This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.
it’s amazing how ordinary objects can become so significant to only the owner
when my aunt’s best friend passed away, my younger brother was four years old. at his funeral, my brother went up to her and gave her a nickel. he told her very solemnly that it would make her feel better. she smiled for the first time in days, and tucked it in her wallet.
when my brother was 22, his best friend passed away unexpectedly. my aunt drove three hours to be there for him at the funeral. she went up to my brother, gave him a big hug, and then gave him a nickel. it was the same nickel; she had kept it in her wallet for 18 years, and now it’s on a necklace that he never takes off.
what i’m trying to say is that the love you put into the world will always find its way back to you.
After decades of dreaming of Jupiter’s moon Europa — and the vast ocean that probably lies beneath its icy surface — scientists are now weeks away from sending a spacecraft there. NASA confirmed yesterday that its Europa Clipper mission will launch on schedule, following a scare that it might have to be significantly delayed owing to possibly faulty transistors installed on the US$5-billion spacecraft.
“We are confident that our beautiful spacecraft and capable team are ready for launch operations and our full science mission at Europa,” Laurie Leshin, the director of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena, California, said at a 9 September press conference.
With a mass of more than 3.2 tonnes, a height of roughly 5 metres, and a width of more than 30 metres with its solar panels fully unfurled, Europa Clipper is the largest spacecraft that NASA has ever built for a planetary mission. Yesterday, the mission passed what’s known in NASA parlance as ‘key decision point E’ — the final review hurdle that needs to be cleared before proceeding towards launch. The spacecraft’s launch window opens on 10 October.
as hell! Idk how many of you are familiar with chytrid fungi, but they cause a nasty disease in amphibians called chytridiomycosis, where the fungus infected and spreads across the skin. Amphibians both breathe and absorb water through their skin, so once the infection spreads enough it makes it difficult for them to breathe and drink. It’s often deadly and has been introduced all over the world, likely from people releasing captive amphibians into the wild. Research has linked chytridiomycosis to the extinction of over 90 species, and is considered one of the primary causes of the global amphibian population crisis we’re fighting.
Worst of all, there is no cure viable enough to use on wild populations.
This ‘hothouse’ method, if it continues to prove effective, would be a cheap and easily-implemented tool to help wild frogs curethemselves!! This could help save dozens – if not hundreds – of species from extinction!
Be excited about this! (Otherwise I will find you)
![Since her death in 1979, the woman who discovered what the universe is made of has not so much as received a memorial plaque. Her newspaper obituaries do not mention her greatest discovery. […] Every high school student knows that Isaac Newton discovered gravity, that Charles Darwin discovered evolution, and that Albert Einstein discovered the relativity of time. But when it comes to the composition of our universe, the textbooks simply say that the most abundant atom in the universe is hydrogen. And no one ever wonders how we know.❞ — Jeremy Knowles, discussing the complete lack of recognition Cecilia Payne gets, even today, for her revolutionary discovery. (via alliterate) OH WAIT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT CECILIA PAYNE • Cecilia Payne’s mother refused to spend money on her college education, so she won a scholarship to Cambridge. • Cecilia Payne completed her studies, but Cambridge wouldn’t give her a degree because she was a woman, so she said to heck with that and moved to the United States to work at Harvard. • Cecilia Payne was the first person ever to earn a Ph.D. in astronomy from Radcliffe College, with what Otto Strauve called “the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy.” • Not only did Cecilia Payne discover what the universe is made of, she also discovered what the sun is made of (Henry Norris Russell, a fellow astronomer, is usually given credit for discovering that the sun’s composition is different from the Earth’s, but he came to his conclusions four years later than Payne — after telling her not to publish). • Cecilia Payne is the reason we know basically anything about variable stars (stars whose brightness as seen from earth fluctuates). Literally every other study on variable stars is based on her work. • Cecilia Payne was the first woman to be promoted to full professor from within Harvard, and is often credited with breaking the glass ceiling for women in the Harvard science department and in astronomy, as well as inspiring entire generations of women to take up science. • Cecilia Payne is awesome and everyone should know her. (OP: Matthew Gardner)](https://64.media.tumblr.com/62252d2e0b47b6782fbd6ef350407812/5bd09b4ca294947e-d3/s640x960/252717dd1f844ff26400e449cc236aa0bf8cbae2.jpg)
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
![[Image ID: the phrase "Jesus fucking Christ Alberta" in the style of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles logo. /. End ID]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4890519d6ca83886900a265a1af39f1b/950011e17a12cfa0-5d/s2048x3072/c91447c99bc406e8ac1c144a4f904b66fe94d489.png)
![[Image ID: the phrase "never seen a rat in person" in the style of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles logo. /. End ID]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4d61c2f307868bd69c5f63da44e53805/950011e17a12cfa0-3d/s2048x3072/50fdd638a8c5aac13fd15e931dca14b3c05adcf1.png)
ALT
