It was inevitable that the neural network, having named all kinds of internet datasets, should turn its talents to naming cats.
And what an occasion! The AFK Cat Rescue of Huntsville, Alabama contacted me because they had an exceptionally adorable bunch of kittens (plus one magnificent Persian) who need names and homes. June is kitten season here in the USA, so shelters are inundated with new kittens right now, and AFK takes the very high-risk cases, kittens who are too small to survive in regular shelters, or who are sick or injured, or have neurological disorders.
To be sure, the AFK Cat Rescue’s kitten-naming game is strong. They’ve got a black and orange kitten pair named Shere Khan and Bagheera, and they have another pair of cats named Grindylow and Pooka. With their full list of the several hundred cat names they’ve used over the years, plus the list of several thousand cats registered in Toronto (thanks to Tumblr user @maverick-ornithography), I had comfortably enough to train a neural network with.
I fired up my trusty karpathy-char-rnn neural network framework, and sat down to watch it learn.
“Very good,” I said. “Coming right along. Nice work on Aarla, maybe not try so hard on Teaw Mos Tilypsronvynkor.” I said all this to myself, of course, because the neural network operates entirely without my input once training starts. I can shout “No, you fool!” at it all day if I like and it ignores me perfectly.
Soon, however, I began to notice that quite a few of these cats had last names, and sounded actually rather grand.
Jarlag Argon Mankith Cuttim Aeggerooy Jozga Andend of Karlans Irtenda of Tiyra Sittrobt Torg? Arten Sword Lord Magian Welu-the Manwys Parihen the Thawk Haldir of the Saleword Barga Mr. Yetheract Belfine Bracken Belis Goodbrook Bentone Ballywood Grim Wyyne Gorihand Molgo
I had, as it turned out, accidentally trained the neural network on another dataset, a list of character names from Tolkien, George R. R. Martin, C. S. Lewis, Robert E Howard, and Terry Pratchett (sent in by reader Thomas Pugh).
AFK Cat Rescue, however, decided to roll with it. First neural network kitten: Parihen the Thawk!
Parihen the Thawk: This guy was surrendered to an animal shelter after he hitched a ride in the engine of a car. He had a dislocated leg but it’s healing well with rest. He’s shy, tiny and misses his bff who is in the hospital right now for her much worse injuries. He’s got a lot of energy and loves to show off his belly.
I finally got the neural network training on the proper dataset, but I was worried when, by the time I went to bed it was producing literally the following names over and over:
Hurter Hurler Hunty Hurty Hunter Hurker
Some who are not so fond of cats may argue that these are in fact the best cat names. Fortunately for the AFK Cat Rescue, the names did eventually become more suitable. I present to you:
Jexley Pickle - This little girl is a hoot and a half. She’s full of energy, bounce and comedy. She loves to nurse on ear lobes and finger tips. She’s about 6 weeks old and was found after being chased up a tree by a dog.
Mag Jeggles - When you touch him he rattles from head to tail with purrs. He’s so sweet. He was simply too young to be made available for adoption, and was rescued from a shelter that could not care for him.
Snox Boops - He was in a room with a lot of kittens that were too small to place up for adoption and even much smaller than the others in the room. When you pick him up he capsizes in your hands and starts purring. He’s got a huge voice and a huge demand for love and attention.
Mumcake - She was brought into a shelter as a stray, but she was too young for adoption and if she wasn’t pulled by rescue she would have been subject for euthanasia. She’s adorable, loving, outgoing and shoots sunshine right out of her butt. (Sunshine ejection not shown; you have AFK’s word for it.)
Tilly Mapper - This little girl also took a ride in a car engine and her rear leg was nearly completely severed as a result. She’s been stitched up but she’s had an infection set in. She is only around 8 weeks old and she’s in very poor body condition from having tried to make it on the streets. We hospitalized her yesterday and she’s doing much better. We hope to have her back to foster home by Friday.
Big Wiggy Bool - He is a doll-faced persian that was surrendered to a kill shelter when his family could not take him on their cross country move. He’s five years old and has obviously been doted on. He’s super affectionate, very easy going and a talker! He’s been recently groomed and trimmed up by Robyn Warner with Goin to the Dogs and Cats Mobile Grooming Service. And he loves belly rubs. Rubbing that fluffy, soft belly is an experience so wonderful it can only be discussed in breathless whispers.
Photos of the above cats by volunteer Amy Harrell.
And, since it IS kitten season, the neural network is happy to provide a list of cat names (some more usable than others), for use in naming cats, computer servers, firstborn, etc.
Jeckle Elbent Jenderina Roober Snorp Snox Boops Cylon Sookabear Frere Sonney Mrow Jexley Pickle Marper Foppin Toby Booch Snowpie Big Wiggy Bool Macha Boo Mr Whinkles Timble Macfallon Machaka Licky Cat Mr Bincheh Macnaw Maxy Fay Tim Hike Mr Gruffles Grips Liony Oli Lingo Lingley Conkie Lasley Goo Mr Took Linky Marvish Mag Jeggles Corko Maggin Mcguntton Mara Tatters Mr Tiggie Mr. Skuffles Mr. Hinkles Mush Jam Tilly-Mapper Mr. Jubble Mumcake Muppin Mr O
That is the best description of Steve I have ever seen
I was always so confused about if Joss Whedon had seen The First Avenger. Because Steve swears in the movie. Not like hard, its a PG-13 family movie, but he does swear.
I think Joss Whedon falls into the same trap as bad fic writer, where he thinks Steve is a farmer from 1950s Kansas instead of Irish Catholic kid from 1920s Brooklyn.
Steve Rogers is 400 pounds of righteous kickass in a 100 pound body and by using the serum the army found room for only most of it.
he thinks Steve is a farmer from 1950s Kansas instead of Irish Catholic kid from 1920s Brooklyn.
this is it. this is the description for how steve is so often mischaracterized.
Come to think of it, there needs to be more scenes of Steve reflexively kowtowing to/avoiding/etc stern Irish grandmothers. Like, helping out a family and immediately gets roped into, I don’t know, doing the dishes without even realizing it, and getting mocked by Tony until Tony is also then doing the dishes and nervously watching over his shoulder.
Zogi, the High Priest: Not to blast her into space? [Ming glares at Zogi] Zogi, the High Priest: Uh, until such time as you grow weary of her. The Emperor Ming: I do.
It looks like the guy is about to send the girl flying into the air, but apparently he was demonstrating some kind of water rescue device, not a rocket.
"S. Shapiro, inventor, strapping his Shapson aquaplane on Miss Margaret Travis for demonstration at Santa Monica, Cal. The model is 44 inches over all and is operated by cranks which the swimmer turns to propel the plane. A speed of 12 knots can be obtained." — Chicago Tribune - Mar 3, 1935
In the late 1920s and early 1930s, Scott Tissues ran an advertising campaign that sought to convince the American public that there was such a thing as 'Toilet Tissue Illness,' and that it was one of the great public health crises of the time. Toilet Tissue Illness was caused by using cheap toilet paper. It could lead to serious complications, possibly requiring rectal surgery to fix. So the ads suggested.
The most notorious ad in the campaign was the 'black glove' ad below.
The image is stark: a clinically white sheet, an array of gleaming surgical instruments, and a hand, clad in a glove of thick black rubber. 'Often the only relief from toilet tissue illness,' the slogan reads (managing to suggest that 'toilet tissue illness' is a recognised medical condition). Consumers who managed to get past the photo and slogan without dropping everything and running for the high hills were then subjected to another lecture from the haemorrhoid-fixated Scott ad-men. It's the usual litany: 'Astonishing percentage of rectal cases ... traceable to inferior toilet paper ... protect your family's health ... eliminate a needless risk.' The words are so much prattle — but the image of the black rubber glove lingers in the mind. Following criticism from the American Medical Association, Scott eventually back-tracked on its doom-laden claims — but pledged to undertake trials in order to prove beyond dispute that 'improperly made toilet tissue is a menace to health'.
And a few of the other ads featured in the campaign:
Someone did the calculation and if this is using minimum wage ($7.25/hr), it’s 38 hours for the first job, 33 for the second and predicated on your boss not shafting your schedule
let’s put everything else on hold for a second. let’s say you genuinely have these living expenses. fine.
the most interesting/disturbing part is that your employer is expecting you to work a second job. mcdonalds vehemently opposes minimum wage raises with the argument being that it increases unemployment, right? assuming a situation where you have one vacancy per potential job-seeker, which is a perfect market, every single job-seeker filling several vacancies at once will increase unemployment on their own.
In a private cemetery in small-town Arkansas, a woman single-handedly buried and gave funerals to more than 40 gay men during the height of the AIDS epidemic, when their families wouldn’t claim them.
-Source
One person who found the courage to push the wheel is Ruth Coker Burks. Now a grandmother living a quiet life in Rogers, in the mid-1980s Burks took it as a calling to care for people with AIDS at the dawn of the epidemic, when survival from diagnosis to death was sometimes measured in weeks. For about a decade, between 1984 and the mid-1990s and before better HIV drugs and more enlightened medical care for AIDS patients effectively rendered her obsolete, Burks cared for hundreds of dying people, many of them gay men who had been abandoned by their families. She had no medical training, but she took them to their appointments, picked up their medications, helped them fill out forms for assistance, and talked them through their despair. Sometimes she paid for their cremations. She buried over three dozen of them with her own two hands, after their families refused to claim their bodies. For many of those people, she is now the only person who knows the location of their graves.
How have I never heard of this?
People like her should be remembered. And even more importantly, we must remember that there was a time in our history when we needed someone like her.
“When Burks was a girl, she said, her mother got in a final, epic row with Burks’ uncle. To make sure he and his branch of the family tree would never lie in the same dirt as the rest of them, Burks said, her mother quietly bought every available grave space in the cemetery: 262 plots. They visited the cemetery most Sundays after church when she was young, Burks said, and her mother would often sarcastically remark on her holdings, looking out over the cemetery and telling her daughter: ‘Someday, all of this is going to be yours.’
‘I always wondered what I was going to do with a cemetery,’ she said. ‘Who knew there’d come a time when people didn’t want to bury their children?’"
Epic Grudge-holding Mom has Epically Empathetic Daughter.
She did good work.
Just to add to this, there is currently a GoFundMe page dedicated to raising money for a memorial to be placed in Files Cemetery dedicated to those whom she cared for, and those who lost their lives to the epidemic.
“Someday,” she said, “I’d love to get a monument that says: This is what
happened. In 1984, it started. They just kept coming and coming. And
they knew they would be remembered, loved and taken care of, and that
someone would say a kind word over them when they died.“
HB2796 is an absolutely blatant attempt to strip away the civil rights of transgender people; and it’s absolutely fucking terrifying.
Quoting the official summary of HB2796:
This bill prohibits the word “sex” or “gender” from being interpreted to mean “gender identity,” and requires “man” or “woman” to be interpreted to refer exclusively to a person’s genetic sex, for purposes determining the meaning of federal civil rights laws or related federal administrative agency regulations or guidance. No federal civil rights law shall be interpreted to treat gender identity or transgender status as a protected class, unless it expressly designates “gender identity” or “transgender status” as a protected class.
HB2796 is currently with the Republican-majority House Subcommittee on the Constitution and Civil Justice. Please, PLEASE–especially if you’re cisgender, and doubly if you’re one of their constituents–call the Representatives on the committee and explain just how much damage this will do, how many lives it will destroy, and how many legislative careers (hopefully) hinge on its passage or failure.
Committee members are:
Chairman Steve King (R-IA-04; King is also one of HB2796′s sponsors) - (202) 225-4426
Vice Chairman Ron DeSantis (R-FL-06) - (202) 225-2706
Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ-08; Franks is also one of HB2796’s sponsors) - (202) 225-4576
(Note - Listed phone numbers are for DC offices only, but links go to pages with both district and federal office information, as well as additional avenues of contact.)
Once more for the weekday / West coast crowd.
OP back, with a few additional notes:
If you’re not getting answers at the numbers listed above, the representatives’ names link to info on additional ways to contact them.
Contact your own representatives, too, and make sure they’re aware of the bill and that it’s important to their constituents.
On one hand: yeah, this is probably junk legislation. Handel attempted to pass a similar amendment to the military appropriations bill and failed, then immediately introduced HB2796 in response. On the other hand: With the current political climate and an administration that gives no shits about constitutional rights, I’m not willing to gamble on that; and furthermore, it’s a goddamn unconscionable piece of legislation whether or not it’s expected to pass.
Let your elected representatives know that trans lives and dignity matter to American voters. Please.
