Cowboy Who?

The little intruder squeezed through iron bars to lead guards on a leisurely chase.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

What’s the workplace norm around hickeys? Obviously, I would never want to make my coworkers uncomfortable, involve them in my sex life, or lead anyone to think I’m being abused. I figure the general policy is that any obvious marks are unprofessional and should be hidden from view at work. But what counts as an obvious mark? Do I have to break out the turtlenecks for any sort of faint bruise in the neck area, or will people generally not assume anything scandalous is going on unless it’s highly visible or happening very frequently? Does this change depending on the workplace’s level of formality or dress code? What about a casual work barbecue with summer attire or a non-work social event with coworkers present?

Yeah, you shouldn’t have visible hickeys at work. If it’s noticeable enough to be recognized as a hickey, you should cover it with makeup, a scarf, a top with a high neck, or whatever works for you.

It’s not that no one can ever suspect you have a sex life, but your coworkers should not be made to come face-to-face with specific information about your sex life … and generally speaking, a lot of people consider hickeys tacky and immature, and that’s not the image you want in your work life. This is true regardless of your workplace’s level of formality or dress code.

Those considerations don’t change just because you’re at a casual work barbecue or other work event. If you have hickeys, cover them before going!

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JEFFERSON CITY, MO—In an effort to curb violence in the state, Missouri Gov. Mike Parson reportedly signed a law Tuesday requiring all residents to have a license and permit to operate a doorbell. “All prospective doorbell users will now be required to complete an eight-week training course so they learn the ins and…

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That stick figure diagram is the most joy I've had making an illustration in years.

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With the fentanyl crisis continuing to spiral out of control in the United States, The Onion asked prominent Republicans and business leaders how they would get the deadly drug off the street, and this is what they said.

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This comic based directly on my gross biologist wife.

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WELP, looks like a bunch more bonus strips go up today thanks to buyers of A City on Mars. More soon and thank you all for your preorders!

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Hovertext:
I wonder if you could embed consciousness in a sticky ball that could be fired from a small cannon to make enemy weapons sentient and pacifist.

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Thanks!

Many bills that would limit access to firearms or ammunition likely won’t become law anytime soon. But people who advocate at the Texas Capitol see emerging signs that there’s appetite for finding some middle ground.

Editorial independence is a bedrock principle for any credible news organization. It’s the beating heart of what we do each day in the news division of Canada’s national public broadcaster.

NEW YORK—In a brazen display of authoritarianism that would no doubt terrify privacy advocates worldwide, Orwellian IT professional Kevin Wu reportedly asked Thursday if employee Andrew Miles could stop looking at furry pornography on his Geneva Solutions company computer, thereby striking the latest blow for…

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ST. LOUIS, MO—Saying there was a 70-80% success rate for those who opted for the procedure, a new report from the University of Washington in St. Louis found that more couples were considering IVF as an alternative to traditional methods of bankruptcy. “In the last few decades, we’ve seen a large spike in Americans…

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PORTSMOUTH, NH—Insisting that the statement had simply slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself, embarrassed Seacoast Ventures employee Kevin Bryant told reporters Tuesday that he had accidentally said “Hello” to his coworker instead of “I feel like crying all the time.” “Oh God, I totally misspoke back…

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I am an avid explorer. I love new experiences and learning new things. Some of my favorite memories are things I never would have experienced had I not taken a chance on something that many people wouldn’t or couldn’t. I’m also privileged, and acknowledge that I have fewer barriers than most to these kinds of experiences.

When I decided to pursue my Masters in Social Work a few years ago, I only applied to one school, The University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. The mission and values of this institution were principal in my desire to attend this college. As unsure as I was about what I wanted to do with this degree, I knew where I wanted to go.

What I didn’t know is where that decision would lead me – to Austin, Texas and the Texas Legislature. My initial reaction when I first heard about the Austin Legislative Internship Program was that it wasn’t for me. I don’t know much about policy and, while I have experience with advocacy groups, I knew little about their engagement with legislators. Being insatiably curious, I decided to attend an information session. My partner and my daughter would both tell you how excited I got after I learned more about the program in that first meeting.

Call it intuition, call it taking a chance on something out of my wheelhouse, or serendipity. Something in me knew I had to apply. My interest increased during the interview process, where I learned from previous interns about their experiences and knowledge gains. I also learned what new doors opened to them while in Austin. Thankfully, I was accepted to the program!

But what would I learn? What would it be like? How would I fit in with the rest of the cohort of graduate students? I don’t have a background in social work or politics. I am not credentialed. All I knew was that this was something brand new, something challenging, and something that could have an impact. And that is what I love. That thing. That potential. That expansion of my brain, my network, my empathy. That learning.

I believe that learning is the most amazing gift bestowed upon humankind. We have this amazing capacity to learn, grow, and change. Often, fear creeps in and hinders this capacity. Fear becomes a barrier we must overcome.

I’m here to tell you to embrace fear and change. I am 44 years old and continuing to grow. If you had asked me three years ago if I would be working in the Texas State Capitol, I would have laughed with you. But this opportunity, this gift, is bountiful. Starting in November, when I met my cohort via Zoom, I made new connections, new friendships, and met new challenges. Accept those challenges. Learn from them. Put yourself out there and you will grow.

I struggled to figure out how I fit into this role and this amazing group of thinkers, helpers, and change agents. What I have learned this first month of this internship is that everyone can fit. There’s a place for everyone in this push for global peace, basic rights, and well-being. Social workers, by nature, are an inclusive bunch. The other social workers we have met in and around the capitol have been so welcoming, reassuring, and helpful.

In all this, I present two key points. First, I encourage you to take risks, speak up, reach out, and lean into challenge and opportunity. I promise you will be better for it, and if you’re looking for permission: GRANTED! Second, I am thankful for the people I am connected to now that I would not have been had I decided this was too risky, too different, or that I wasn’t a fit. I love learning with and from the Texas Legislative Study Group crew.

We will struggle. We will cry. We will hurt. We will help people. We will endure. We will learn. And we will all be better for it, together. So if you ever find yourself in a position to say yes to something that will challenge you and you’re not quite sure if you’re cut out for it, say yes. You’ve got this.

Opportunities are out there. Barriers are also out there, but do not let fear be one of them. Go for it, and you will learn something, about yourself and about others. And that’s the most amazing thing we humans can do.

In the past few weeks as part of this internship, I visited military bases and training centers, spoke to soldiers, civilians, liaisons, and Directors of Government Affairs. I flew in a Black Hawk helicopter and a C-130J transport aircraft. I met with education, women’s health, and energy advocates and lobbyists. I reviewed bills, attended briefings, and watched the House floor and the legislative process unfold. What an experience I’ve had already!

Do I belong here? Yes.

Why am I here? To learn.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can a meh middle manager be a good CEO?

It’s common to hear of “worker bee”-like employees excelling in their duties only to flounder when promoted to management roles. However, is it possible for someone to be a meh middle manager only to shine in an upper management role?

I work in a nonprofit with satellite locations throughout my county – think a string of community centers – and serve under a site manager who often appears bored in their current position, is vocal about the fact they have more management experience than anyone else in the organization, and is pretty transparent about wanting their boss’s job. They are active in a statewide leadership organization and have given talks on management at various conferences.

As my direct boss, they are responsible, sane, and skilled at nipping employee interpersonal conflicts in the bud. But I would not rate them as one of the best managers in the organization. While other site directors have worked to cement community partnerships, conduct asset mappings to better understand their neighborhoods, and encourage staff trainings to improve customer service, my manager has not. Instead, they’ve spent a lot of time in their office viewing and participating in leadership zooms. They started this position right as the pandemic began, and there is some basic information – budget logistics, resource relationships – that wasn’t immediately shared, so their institutional knowledge has been limited in places. When an employee turned to staff outside our building for clarification on these points, my manager has become angry, asserting that all questions and requests must run through them. On top of this, they are a big fan of delegating – at times responsibilities that should fall to them.

Our organization’s CEO recently left, and our board president is smitten with my manager. They have heard them give talks through their professional organization and thinks they have great leadership potential. But can a person be emotionally checked out as a middle manager only to blossom as the head of that large-scale institution? Or are their prioritizing of professional leadership organization activities over boots-on-the-ground community service, anger at employees going over their head for information, and delegating some managerial responsibilities red flags that they would be a problematic executive director?

The delegation on its own doesn’t worry me so much — executive directors often have to delegate nearly everything but fundraising, community relations, and decision-making — but spending a lot of time on leadership webinars instead of engaging with your team’s work worries me, as does the anger at someone who tried to get highly relevant info this manager couldn’t provide. And if they’re emotionally checked out, I’d be extremely concerned about putting them at the top of the organization; a checked out executive director can do serious damage.

None of this is a crystal ball or means that your manager would definitely be a terrible executive director, but the biggest red flag might be that it sounds like your board president is basing their enthusiasm on things that don’t relate to how your manager does their actual job and is responding to stuff that’s more window dressing than substance.

2. Should I still recommend someone after they violated confidentiality?

I work as a contract employee at a large health care organization. I’ve been in this role for 14 years and prior to that was a “real” employee/manager here for several years. I am entrusted with important work, I love my clients, and am well paid. However, I’m looking forward to an early retirement this fall. If possible, I would like to help in the transition and would be very willing to train the new person.

My plan is to give four months’ notice. I have specific reasons for this timeframe, i.e., I want to continue working right up until I retire and don’t want to be left with little or no work once my replacement is hired and I train him/her.

I work with “Amy,” whom I considered to be a good candidate as my replacement. I knew she was only marginally satisfied with her current role and thought she would do well in my role when I retire. We had a friendly relationship. I quietly told her my plans, making it clear this was confidential and that I don’t plan to tell my client for a few more months and why. She was enthusiastic and asked me to put her name forward when the time came. She understood it was confidential.

So imagine my surprise when one of my clients in the organization recently told me that Amy said I’m retiring soon and that she likely will be my replacement. My client was understandably hurt/confused that I didn’t tell her myself and that she had to hear it from Amy. I apologized profusely and said it was confidential and that in no way did I promise Amy that she’s my likely replacement. I’m furious with Amy. I waited a couple of days to calm down and told her she violated my confidentiality and put me in a very awkward position with my client. She gave tepid excuses and apologized, but the damage has been done. I have remained professional but cool toward her ever since. I have no doubt that she’s noticed.

Now it’s almost time to give my four months notice, and I don’t know whether to put Amy’s name forth as a potential replacement. She could do the work very well, but I believe she is untrustworthy. Sometimes my job requires handling confidential information, although not always. I don’t want to be petty and vindictive, but I also don’t feel comfortable recommending her wholeheartedly any more.

Should I tell my clients, all of whom I’ve known for years and am close to, that: (1) She could do the work very well but that I have reservations about her judgment and ability to keep things confidential (and give a high level overview of what happened)? (2) Put forth her name with no comment at all? (3) Or not recommend her at all?

You’re not under any obligation to recommend anyone if you don’t wholeheartedly think they’re right for the job. Amy is welcome to throw her hat in the ring when the vacancy is announced, but you don’t need to champion her candidacy if you don’t want to. However, if she still has the impression that you’ll be suggesting her, you should make sure she knows she knows that you don’t plan to — which could be something like “I’ve decided I’m not going to make any specific recommendations for a replacement” — and that she needs to formally apply if she wants to pursue the job.

If she applies and you’re asked for input on her, you should give it as impartially as you can (including your concerns about confidentiality, if that’s important in the work).

3. Using stickers in a work notebook

I work as a receptionist in a small counselling service. It’s a very busy office with two receptionists working at the same time, as we get quite a lot of phone calls, emails, and people coming in through the door on top of all our other admin work.

I have Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD and I keep track of everything — calls, to-do lists, emails, and more — in a notebook, like the other receptionists do. What I would like to do is add stickers and different colors to my notes. I did this in college and found it helped me focus immensely and not forget something several pages back. That way if I don’t sort something immediately, I can draw my attention to it so I won’t forget it.

My office is quite casual and very friendly, and I have brought in other stationery as I love it and buy too much. My boss noticed some sticky notes that were pink and had flowers and complimented them and used them herself, so I know those are okay, but I don’t know if stickers are too much. They wouldn’t be sparkly or cartoons or anything overly childish — just arrows, dots for bullet points, and things like that. I’d obviously only use them on my own notebook and nothing else. I’m also usually the only one who uses or sees my notebook; it’s not out at meetings or shared with coworkers or anything like that. I think stickers would help me remember things and be much more efficient, but it’s my first office job and I want to be professional but I’m not sure about this. What do you think?

You are totally fine! Get the stickers! It would be fine even if other people did see your notebook — the sort of stickers you’re talking about are likely to make you look more organized, not less, and they’re something you see in plenty of offices. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of your coworkers like them and adopt the habit themselves. Go for it.

Related:
will my taste in office supplies seem weird or unprofessional?

4. Fending off solicitousness about my pregnancy

At the end of May, my organization is hosting a large conference that I’ll be helping to staff. I’ll see all my coworkers (I work remotely so this is an unusual occurrence) as well many clients, partners, etc. who I work with on a regular basis.

At the time of the conference, I will be seven months pregnant. I’m a fairly private person and being so publicly pregnant is a bit outside my comfort zone (my first pregnancy was entirely during the height of Covid restrictions so I didn’t see anyone!), but I’m prepared for the congratulations and questions about when I’m due. The piece I’m not sure how to handle is the solicitousness I’m expecting from some folks at the conference, both colleagues and conference attendees. Some of my responsibilities will involve light physical activity (along the lines of running mics to attendees during sessions), and I’m anticipating some people jumping up to try and take the mic so that the obviously pregnant lady doesn’t have to be on her feet. This anticipated reaction is making me uncomfortable! I’m fully prepared for the conference — I’ll wear comfy shoes, have water and snacks available, take breaks when I need them, etc. And I have a very active toddler at home, so it’s quite likely that being at the conference will be less physically demanding than my average weekend chasing after him. I’d prefer to be treated as a professional and not have people try to take over my conference responsibilities, but I’m assuming that some people will want to do so. Any advice on how to address this would be much appreciated!

Keep repeating this: “I’m fine, I’ve got this.” And if necessary: “I enjoy doing it and don’t need help.”

If there’s a core group of people you expect this from (like the people you’ll be working most closely with during the conference), it might make sense to explain it to them ahead of time — “FYI, I’ll be visibly pregnant while we’re there and I know sometimes people want to save the pregnant lady from physical activity — but I’m fully capable of running mics during sessions, etc. and wanted to preemptively say I don’t want to modify anything I’m normally responsible for! I’m looking forward to it.” (You might throw in a joke to lighten this up if there’s any risk of this reading in your office as martyr-ish.)

5. Saying you’ve graduated when it’s a few months away

My son, who graduates high school in early June, is filling out applications for park maintenance and the like for seasonal summer employment. These ask if he is a high school graduate, and he is answering “Yes,” while also uploading his resume with a grad date of “June 2023.” Is he handling this correctly, when he hasn’t technically graduated yet?

He’ll have graduated by the time he’d be beginning work, so it’s fine to answer “yes” to that question to avoid being wrongly screened out.

Related:
how can you get around automated screening questions when you’re actually qualified for the job?

The 100 Deadliest Karate Moves
Gambordella
1982

Submitter: While cleaning up the sports and athletic section I found this book tucked behind the other books in the section. It looks like it escaped weeding by cowering behind all the other books. Rest assured this was kicked to the recycling bin.

Holly: I see what you did there, submitter.

The only thing saving this book from being the most boring karate book on earth, with its black and white photos of early-80s collars and short shorts, is its title. Well, that and the impending wardrobe malfunction on the cover.

The post Killer Karate first appeared on Awful Library Books.

The post Killer Karate appeared first on Awful Library Books.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation paused its use of Twitter after the social media platform stamped CBC's account with a label the public broadcaster says is intended to undermine its credibility.

(Image credit: Tijana Martin/AP)

[link] [75 comments]

New Cyanide and Happiness Comic

In I am at my best when I’m escaping, on view at Big Medium in Austin, artist Tammie Rubin offers a roadmap of personal, lineal, and physical journeys across time and place in America. The solo exhibition is part of Rubin’s receipt of the 2022 Tito’s Prize, awarded annually to an Austin-based artist through the local arts organization Big Medium and its sponsorship partner, Tito’s Handmade Vodka. Rubin, who teaches ceramics and sculpture at St. Edwards University, relocated to Austin in 2015 and has become a fixture in the city’s art community while continuing to gain national attention with her work.

Though the show at Big Medium is not technically an immersive exhibition, it takes on an immersive quality: ceramic sculptures, wall-sized murals, and installations made of everyday objects tell a story of identity and memory through multivalent prompts that equally explore the mundane and profane — what Rubin has referred to as a “push-pull” in her work. Quilt symbols once used as code in the Underground Railroad are emblazoned on each wall, while unnerving conical forms reminiscent of the Ku Klux Klan keep watch over the gallery. A blue map of the U.S. highway system appears as a living, breathing organism in one corner, vascular in both shape and color, as white and red stake flags jut out from the mural and populate the gallery’s perimeter, enveloping the space like a disassembled American flag. 

Blue is the show’s central color and brings to mind Chefchaouen, Morocco’s famed “blue city” in the country’s northwest region. Some say Chefchaouen’s white-washed buildings were painted blue by the Muslims and Jews who fled Spain during the Inquisition; a way to connect to water and sky and the divine. Standing in the gallery, surrounded by similar hues, it seems Rubin has intended to transport the viewer to another realm as well, starting with a church scene rendered just enough to guide us into a place of Southern roots and family lore.

An ancestral altar made of blue wood fragments rests on the floor in the gallery’s front window, as two church pews (coated in blue) add spatial and temporal depth. The pews are staggered and feature ceramic, organic forms — ball moss, biomorphic shapes — dipped, fired, and/or glazed; the one set farther back, Sunday Morning Offerings No. 2 (2023), contains two sacks of Bertie County Peanuts; it’s a tender push-pull, this side-by-side positioning of the familiar and peculiar, like nostalgia for a place that will always hold pain.  

Beyond both pews, the mural North Star (2023) reveals a constellation of masonite prayer fans with vintage photos of the artist’s relatives. Collaged onto masonite cutouts, the sepia photos blend into the wood-like material, causing the images to both retreat into themselves and stand out from the blue geometric pattern on the wall — a pattern that recalls quilt symbols once used to help individuals escape from slavery in the South. This overlay of history, set a century apart, continues across the way with Rubin’s plotted pen and ink drawings, which lift figures from old photographs (including a 1950s yearbook) and turn them into line art, their presence emerging from the negative space.

Image-dissolving abstractions certainly demonstrate the push-pull in Rubin’s works, but her ceramic sculptures remain the most striking example of their laden open interpretation. In an ongoing series prominently featured in the exhibition, Rubin uses a variety of objects — funnels, traffic cones — to create conical pieces from slip cast porcelain. Comical, elegant, disquieting — these forms have been compared to West African headdresses and Dickensian dunce caps, but they instantly conjure the KKK; the smaller the sculptures (most sit comfortably on a shelf), the more disturbing they appear. Some are adorned with trinkets, others map textures and patterns, a few even have mouths. Smiles, in fact. Yet they all have holes for eyes, and those eyes stare out from a bottomless void. The ceramics series title, Always & Forever (forever, ever), is a mirror reflection of their push-pull allure: part ’70s R&B song, part Ms. Jackson apology, part American prophecy. 

I am at my best when I’m escaping invokes the Underground Railroad and the Great Migration, the open highway, even the forever-ness of a void. But the show’s title is in fact taken from a line in the recent HBO show Station Eleven, based on a 2014 novel of the same name by Emily St. John Mandel, about a global pandemic that all but wipes out humanity. In the recently adapted series, one of the main characters — an artist — spectacularly sets fire to her studio while voicing: “I don’t want to live the wrong life and then die. I am at my best when I’m escaping.”

Rubin’s Big Medium show burns like a bright blue flame.

 

Tammie Rubin: I am at my best when I’m escaping is on view at Big Medium through April 29, 2023.

The post Review: Tammie Rubin’s “I am at my best when I’m escaping” appeared first on Glasstire.

LAS VEGAS – People with injuries and illnesses that conventional doctors have been unable to hear have begun making medical pilgrimages to see NHL team doctors after hearing how they were able to somehow get their team’s previously injury riddled roster healthy in time for the playoffs. “My family doctor said my osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia […]

The post World’s sick, injured travel to see NHL team doctors after they miraculously heal entire rosters in time for playoffs appeared first on The Beaverton.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer whose HR wouldn’t do anything about a coworker who was angry about her post-surgery weight loss? Here’s the update.

All I have to say for this update is hold on to your bananapants.

I saw a lot of comments asking where management was in all this, so I’ll address that first. My boss, “George,” was getting ready to retire while this was going on. George is roughly my grandfather’s age, so this entire situation bewildered both him and his replacement, who he was training at the time. Both of them met with Aubrey’s boss, because believe me I was documenting everything she did from the jump, and they all assured me that Aubrey would be dealt with. None of them recommended the red flag mediation, that was HR’s idea. I was given details of the meeting where Aubrey ranted about me and it was horrible, but apparently Aubrey was asked to leave by her own boss while several other employees told her to stop, so managerially and in the office in general, people were trying to rein her in from many different angles.

HR is where the ball dropped and dropped hard. This company just has a poor HR structure and bad entry to mid-level HR. When Aubrey’s boss referred her to HR regarding her negative behavior, HR took it upon themselves to consider it a mediation situation (which, remember, at our company can go against your bonus for the year) despite communication from George, his replacement, and Aubrey’s boss saying I wasn’t in the wrong. When George found out about this, he spoke to the HR generalists’ manager, who said that my “absence probably caused a lot of strain and extra work for Aubrey” when Aubrey’s not even credentialed to do what I do. Management made a point to tell me how baffled and upset they were with HR’s handling of the situation every time something came up. My company mentor was also a huge support during this time until she decided to take another job elsewhere.

When my doctor extended my ADA work-from-home accommodation a second time, HR responded by telling me my attendance was a “concern.” I emailed their boss’s boss, the HR director, and asked for clarification. He said I hadn’t come in to the office so of course my attendance was a problem, I reiterated I had medical documentation stating that if WFH wasn’t available then they could refer to the FMLA documentation my medical team also sent. He replied that medical documentation, including both FMLA and ADA reasonable accommodations, “doesn’t hold much weight” with the company.

That’s when I got a lawyer. Aubrey as a problem kind of drifted to the background when HR started their “medical documentation doesn’t matter” campaign. On my lawyer’s recommendation, I contacted the HR executive team, which is where this whole cursed situation came to light. (And I did check with my lawyer about emailing this update and they laughed and said I couldn’t leave people hanging after all that.)

I called the chief HR officer (which for my company is going over like five people’s heads, but I did it with George’s and my new boss’s blessings), who is the head of HR, and asked why my attendance was an issue when I had reasonable ADA documentation. She had no idea what I was talking about so I filled her in on all of it — including the mediation meeting and Aubrey’s harassment and the HR director (her direct report) saying medical documentation didn’t hold any weight with the company. She was speechless and asked to meet with me and my lawyer as soon as possible. My lawyer hardly had to do anything during the meeting because the CHRO was horrified at everything I told her. I’ve never actually seen steam come out of someone’s ears, but if it was physically possible it would have happened here. My lawyer didn’t need to say a word but just nodded and smiled when the CHRO offered an extended paid medical leave so I could handle my recovery and said Aubrey constantly sending me fitness plans would be “dealt with swiftly.”

I didn’t hear anything out of Aubrey for a long time but I did hear through some gossip channels that the HR staff involved in the red flag meeting/threatening to write me up were let go. Aubrey wasn’t fired because they believed she was misled by HR, so I understand that part even if I don’t agree with it, but she was on a tight PIP for a while. Then she showed up at my house.

Now we move from bananapants to full-on banana ensemble. I’m still on leave and out of the blue, Aubrey showed up at my door on a weekend with two other women in tow and the commenters guessed it: she’s in very deep with an MLM (or maybe a cult, I can’t be sure at this point). Aubrey came over to “demonstrate” some workout techniques and give me some diet “supplement” samples and discuss a “career opportunity” because she was worried about my “physical and professional health.” She didn’t make it past my mother-in-law, who has been a godsend right now. My mother-in-law made it clear where Aubrey could stick her demonstration and they left in a hurry. I notified my lawyer and the CHRO and suffice it to say, Aubrey is now a full-time “wellness coach.”

I’m happy I went with my gut and got a lawyer because the company has changed so drastically over the last year with the toxic HR department encouraging behavior like Aubrey’s and spreading false information about medical leave and time off, the company is almost unrecognizeable. Also with my boss and mentor both gone, I don’t know if I’m going to go back once I’m medically cleared. The company is also undergoing a restructuring right now and my department may end up distributed between other parts of the company or even other parts of the state. I have been looking at jobs and doing some resume drafting for a full-time remote position since it feels like it might be a better fit. But many thanks to the comment section and all the support!

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
I will be nagging about this book for the next while, and I apologize for that. Good news though - the main form of nag will be bonus SMBC comics. Also, HOLY SHIT GUYS, ANDY FUCKIN WEIR!

Today's News:

Good morning, friends. Today we launch a book that is the culmination of two people’s efforts over 5 years. The definitive treatment of space settlement - the science, history, law, and politics. It’s called A City on Mars.

You can get specific info on www.acityonmars.com. What I really just want to say here is, first, thank you all tremendously. Having a successful comic over these years has meant a lot of time could be devoted to in depth study of subjects that rarely get that kind of treatment.

What I also want to say is that I hope we’ve written my favorite kind of popular science book - one of those books where every chapter tells you something you’ve never heard about, and which adds up to a big picture. A book full of stories and ideas that you won’t hear anywhere else. Also jokes! And drawings!

Although we’re happy any time you buy, preorders right now, today, really help. In the modern publishing world, having a lot of buys early on gives us more power later when it’s time to ask for shelf space and media appearances. The book will cost the same whether you buy it now or a year from now, but getting it soon helps us tremendously.

Thanks again everyone. It has long been a dream of mine to work on a popular science book that isn’t just fun, but which tries to address a serious question in a way that hasn’t been done before. I believe we’ve done that here, and much of our ability to do that is thanks to all of you.

With gratitude,

Zach

Because a lot of people have been asking lately: if you do not want to buy on Amazon, there are lots of options. Buying on amazon *does* help us because it improves our ranking, but buying from Barnes & Noble is also great. If you want to avoid a big corporation, we recommend getting in touch with your favorite local shop, or with one of the awesome indie stores like Powell’s or The Strand.

A kid texts their mother during a school lockdown.

KID: Mom, a drag queen broke into our school. I love you so much.

MOM: What!? Are you sure it’s real?

KID: Yes, we’re under lockdown now. We barricaded the door and I’m hiding under my desk. Mom, I’m so scared.

MOM: Can you call me? Are you safe?

KID: I can only text. We have to be quiet. They feed off the prepubescent voices of young white boys.

MOM: Okay, honey, stay calm. Remember what you learned in drag lockdown training. It will do whatever it can to lure you with its bronze silicone breasts and brainwash you.

KID: I can hear its stilettos clicking down the hallway. I think it’s close to our classroom…

MOM: Stay completely still, honey. Breathe. Cover your genitals.

KID: There are so many sequins! I can see them reflecting onto the walls.

MOM: The sequins are very dangerous, sweetie. Remember the Tucker Carlson special about the little boy who looked directly into the sequins? He immediately turned gay, and a piano fell out of the sky and crushed him to death.

KID: Mom, help me, please. I can already feel my innocence being stripped away. My full ride to Liberty College. My future wife I’ll never get to gaslight. I have so much life ahead of me.

MOM: Keep calm. I’m here. Think happy thoughts. Like the song I used to sing you to sleep. “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

KID: Okay. I think the police just showed up… no, wait, it’s just more drag queens dressed as kinky cops… the police are hiding in the bushes.

MOM: Trust the police, honey. They always know exactly what to do.

KID: Mom, it’s right outside the door belting “Dancing on My Own” by Robyn! My balls, they’re already shrinking. This is it.

MOM: Whatever happens, just remember that Dad and I — and Nathan Dahm — love you very much.

NEW YORK—Confirming years of speculation about how your closest acquaintances behave when you aren’t around, a report released Monday revealed that your friends do impressions of you behind your back. “Our findings suggest that whenever you’re out of earshot, your friends mimic your tone of voice and mock your odd…

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With Republicans critical of recent bills enforcing minimum age requirements for marriage, The Onion asked conservatives to explain why child marriage should be legal and this is what they said.

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Okay but I'm gonna need like seven more of those to craft an upgrade for my coat to give it marginally more fire resistance.