In an interview with Russian state television, Vladimir Putin claimed he would prefer that Joe Biden be reelected over Donald Trump, stating: “Biden, he’s more experienced, more predictable. He’s a politician of the old formation.” What do you think?
THE HEAVENS—Claiming that love had made Him do crazy things, the Lord God Almighty admitted Monday that sending the Great Flood to destroy the evil He beheld upon the earth was just a misguided attempt to impress Jodie Foster. “Truth be told, I convinced Myself that if I sent mighty torrents of water to cleanse the…
CHICAGO—Pulling back the covers to reveal a two-inch splotch in the middle of his bed, local man Dave Reardon reportedly treated his date, Sandra McAllister, to an amusing anecdote behind the stain on his sheets Monday. “It’s not what you think—it’s actually a pretty funny story,” the fully nude 32-year-old said…
WASHINGTON—Ignoring his better judgment so as not to be called a chicken, President Joe Biden reportedly fell through a sheet of ice and plunged into dangerously cold water Monday after his buddies dared him to walk on the frozen Capitol Reflecting Pool. Sources confirmed the commander-in-chief’s chums had bet him $5…
PALM BEACH, FL—Closing his eyes and letting his mind wander, former President Donald Trump was reportedly daydreaming Monday about what he would do if he were rich. “Can you imagine never having to worry about money ever again?” said Trump, who smiled as he slipped into the ideal imaginary world in which he could…
NEW YORK—In a breakthrough study with a stark prediction about present meteorological trends, a team of scientists at Columbia University warned Monday that the sky was rapidly running out of the good puffy clouds. “Based on the current trajectory, we expect that big fluffy clouds will be entirely gone from the…
NEW YORK – After a civil fraud ruling that will force Donald Trump to pay $355 million dollars, the former president is hoping to raise the cash by offering Republican voters a chance to donate that exact amount in exchange for one night of no-holds-barred passion with his son, Eric Trump. “For the low low […]
A security vulnerability report arrived that claimed to have found a way to elevate from a local administrator to domain administrator.
Okay, this sounds interesting, because gaining local administrator privileges lets you pwn the local computer, but that doesn’t extend to other computers on the domain. Let’s see how the attack works.
The report explains that as local administrator, you can assert SeTcbPrivilege in order to do complicated things that ultimately extract network credentials of a domain administrator who has signed into the computer.
Okay, wait a second. You didn’t actually gain domain administrator credentials on your own. You stole them from a domain administrator who signed into the system. You had help!
If you can assume that a domain administrator is signed in, then you don’t need to do all those complicated things to extract the domain administrator’s network credentials. You can just install a keylogger to steal the domain administrator’s network credentials. Or even simpler: Just put a program of your choosing in the system Startup group.¹ That program runs with the identity of the domain administrator and can do anything the domain administrator can.
What you really demonstrated is that if a domain administrator signs into a system, they are giving that system access to their domain account. And if they sign into a malicious system, then oops, that malicious system can do anything it wants with their domain account.
It’s like saying, “If I give my passport to a fake police officer, then the fake police officer can steal my passport!” Well yes. So don’t give your passport to fake police officers. And don’t sign into untrusted computer systems. After all, the computer system might be running a completely fake operating system that is just pretending to be Windows!
¹ This variant was also filed as a security vulnerability report six months later.
Citing issues like limited usability and headaches, many Apple Vision Pro owners have begun returning their devices, which retail for $3,500. What do you think?
LONDON—Eliciting loud gasps from spectators as he posed for photos, actor Timothée Chalamet stunned at the Dune: Part Two premiere Thursday night by wearing a metal saucepan on his head. “It was a daring fashion choice, but Chalamet certainly made a statement by donning a 3-quart All-Clad stainless steel saucepan on…
ATHENS, GREECE—With passage of the law marking a first for a majority Orthodox Christian nation, Greece officially legalized same-sex marriage Thursday in a bid to do more of that wedding dance they do, according to members of Parliament. “This is a historic moment that will dramatically increase the number of times a…
After months of resisting, Air Canada was forced to give a partial refund to a grieving passenger who was misled by an airline chatbot inaccurately explaining the airline's bereavement travel policy.
On the day Jake Moffatt's grandmother died, Moffat immediately visited Air Canada's website to book a flight from Vancouver to Toronto. Unsure of how Air Canada's bereavement rates worked, Moffatt asked Air Canada's chatbot to explain.
The chatbot provided inaccurate information, encouraging Moffatt to book a flight immediately and then request a refund within 90 days. In reality, Air Canada's policy explicitly stated that the airline will not provide refunds for bereavement travel after the flight is booked. Moffatt dutifully attempted to follow the chatbot's advice and request a refund but was shocked that the request was rejected.
GRAPEVINE, TX—In the midst of a skirmish over someone’s cart blocking a parking spot at Walmart, sources confirmed the hair of local woman Deena Platt puffed up to several times its usual size Friday, intimidating her rival female shoppers. According to witnesses, after Platt paused to take a long drag off her…
WASHINGTON—Moments after pulling shut the door to the Roosevelt Room and locking it behind her, a terrified Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly told aides to “Stab him! Stab him, you cowards!” on Friday after she plunged a knife into President Joe Biden’s back. “What are you waiting for, you fools? Strike now!…
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