Cowboy Who?

Discovery Green, a 12-acre park in downtown Houston, has announced Karen Navarro and Gerardo Rosales as its inaugural Art Lab Fellows. Learn more about the artists below, via biographies provided by Discovery Green.

Discovery Green

The mentorship program was launched earlier this year when Discovery Green opened a call for applicants. Ms. Navarro and Mr. Rosales were selected from the more than 60 Houston-area creatives who applied. Art Lab will pair the two artists with a team of mentors, including the Weingarten Art Group, who are co-curators and co-administrators for the Discovery Green public art program; Metalab, a Houston-based architecture and design firm with a history of working on public art; and Jen Lewin, a renowned Brooklyn-based artist who specializes in large-scale public installations.

The artists will work with Ms. Lewin on a site-specific art installation debuting in mid-November. Afterward, Ms. Navarro and Mr. Rosales will be invited to submit proposals for a temporary pop-up art installation. If the proposal moves forward, it will be brought to fruition in 2025 with the support of a team of mentors. 

In a press release, Lea Weingarten, principal for Weingarten Art Group, said, “Art Lab is a gateway for artists to take their practice to the next level — providing hands-on mentorship in planning, designing, and project managing an outdoor commission. Our goal is to give the artists a springboard to go on to significant new projects by pushing themselves in terms of concept, materials, and scale. Karen and Gerardo each embody the spirit of Art Lab and we’re excited to partner with Discovery Green and the incoming fellows as we embark on the inaugural year of the program.”

Karen Navarro. Image courtesy of the artist.

Karen Navarro is a Houston-based artist who uses photography, collage, and sculpture to investigate the intersections of identity, representation, race, and belonging in the context of her migrant experience, her Indigenous identity, and the history of colonization and its influence. Originally from Argentina, Ms. Navarro’s work has been shown around the world. In recent years, she’s transformed her two-dimensional photography work into three-dimensional sculptures. With Art Lab, she seeks to make the next jump with her work into public, 3-D work that can withstand the elements and interact with visitors.     

Gerardo Rosales. Image courtesy of the artist.

Venezuelan-born Gerardo Rosales is a multidisciplinary Houston-based artist and educator of 23 years whose portfolio navigates the intersections of queerness, migration, and cultural heritage, inspired by his personal experiences. Originally from Venezuela, Mr. Rosales plans to learn from the Art Lab mentors new technologies and processes that will enhance his artistic vision with richer, more immersive experiences for viewers.

The post Discovery Green Names Inaugural Art Lab Fellows appeared first on Glasstire.

In brief: The overall track forecast for Francine remains more or less the same, with the storm very likely to remain off the coast of Texas, and strike southwestern or south central Louisiana on Wednesday. This post discusses the impacts to Houston, and answers some of the burning questions we’ve received about Francine, including “western” shifts and such.

Francine status

Francine’s intensity remains just below hurricane strength, with 65 mph sustained winds, at 10 pm CT. The storm is moving to the north-northwest at about 5 mph, according to the National Hurricane Center, and it soon should begin a turn to the north, and then the northeast.

Track and intensity outlook

The National Hurricane Center track forecast has not changed much since this afternoon, aside from a slight eastward shift. At this time the entire state of Texas is now outside the cone of uncertainty. The storm’s forward motion on Tuesday night and Wednesday is now expected to be a little faster than normal, so Francine could reach the Louisiana coast as early as the afternoon hours on Wednesday. For more information on impacts to Louisiana, which could be severe, please check out our companion site The Eyewall.

Houston impacts

There is not much change in outlook. We could see some showers and thunderstorms moving into Houston tomorrow by or before noon from the Gulf of Mexico. Frankly, these storms don’t look too organized or problematic. Areas nearer to the coast are more likely to see rain, with the potential for 1 to 3 inches, and possibly a few higher bullseyes. Further inland, showers will be hit or miss. Scattered rain shower chances will persist overnight and through much of Wednesday, but this does not look to be a washout for anyone.

In terms of winds, there probably won’t be much to worry about in the city of Houston. Down closer to the coast we could see some sustained winds of 30 or 35 mph, with higher gusts, but that probably is the worst case scenario. The strongest winds will likely push through on Tuesday night. Seas should be 1 to 3 feet above normal along Galveston Island and Bolivar Peninsula, and a bit higher further to the east toward Cameron, Louisiana.

Why is this not a repeat of Beryl?

A lot of people have asked in the comments, and via email, why we’re confident that Francine is going to turn away from Houston. After all, the forecasts were wrong for Beryl, so why not now? There are a couple of answers to this. First of all, the Beryl track errors occurred about four to five days before landfall. We’re now less than two days from Francine making landfall in Louisiana. So confidence is naturally higher with a near-term forecast.

The second reason is that our modeling guidance has been very consistent over the last 24 to 48 hours, and in some cases significantly longer. Whereas there were some outlier model solutions with Beryl that indicated a Houston strike was possible, virtually every model we are looking at indicates that Francine will pass well offshore the Texas coast, and eventually make a landfall in Louisiana. This is a remarkable consensus, and when you have a consensus in a near-term forecast, your confidence is very high.

With that said, I get that the PTSD from Beryl is very real. Some forecasters, including this site, definitely made some errors with that hurricane. We try to learn from every storm. Most importantly, we want to make sure we have your trust, so that you’ll trust us when we say a storm like Francine is almost certainly going to be fine for Houston.

What about that western wobble earlier Monday?

There was a lot of brouhaha this afternoon about Francine shifting west, and the center wobbling west, and all manner of talk about how the Texas coast was suddenly at risk for serious impacts from this storm. All of this because the National Hurricane Center nudged the official track about 10 to 15 miles westward—a nudge that was more or less meaningless when it comes to Texas impacts.

In fact, as of 10 pm the track shifted back east some, completely erasing the much heralded western “shift” noted earlier today. The bottom line, don’t buy the hype.

Are you guys really sure that Francine isn’t coming to Texas?

We’re sure there are many people named Francine who are coming to Texas in the near future, and we should welcome them with open arms and warm hearts. But yes, we’re pretty darn confident that Francine the named storm is not coming to Texas this week. I mean, there’s a very slim chance it could come ashore in the Beaumont-Port Arthur area, but very likely not.

Really, really sure?

Yes.

But just to be sure, when’s your next update?

Well, I’ve got to stay up to cover the Polaris Dawn launch tonight at 2:38 am CT from Florida. There are four great people launching into space on a Crew Dragon vehicle, and I consider some of them my friends. So I want to see them safely into space. But I aim to have tomorrow’s update posted no later than 7:30 am CT. Wish me luck, y’all!

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I’m writing on behalf of my husband, Bob, who recently left his job after two years. During his exit interview, he explained exactly why he was leaving. The reasons included his supervisor’s disorganized management style, expecting him to answer texts and phone calls at all hours, expecting him to log on to work immediately after a serious car accident, etc. To be clear, his position was not one that required him to be on call, and these were all violations of his union contract.

Three weeks after Bob left the job, his former supervisor, Jane, called in tears to say she had been fired because of what he said in his exit interview. He feels terrible because even though he gave true reasons, he did not intend for Jane to be fired. Obviously he will not be able to use her for a reference, but was it acceptable for Jane’s supervisor to put everything on my husband? He is now worried about destroying Jane’s life and the chance of legal retaliation.

I can see why Bob is upset about this, but he did not destroy Jane’s life. He didn’t even get her fired.

Jane got Jane fired.

It is also highly, highly likely that Bob wasn’t the only one to complain about Jane. It would be incredibly unusual for someone to be fired solely because one person made these sorts of complaints in an exit interview. If Bob were the only person raising concerns, it’s much more likely that someone would have simply talked to Jane, relayed the concerns, and coached her to behave differently.

It’s far more likely that Bob’s complaints were a last-straw situation — that they’d had serious concerns about Jane for a while and this gave them the final push. Somewhat less likely — but still more likely than firing a manager after one employee complained — is that they took Bob’s feedback seriously enough to start asking other employees for feedback about Jane and in doing so discovered more problems. Either way, this wouldn’t be solely about Bob’s feedback.

But even if it were based exclusively on what Bob said — which, again, is unlikely — this still wouldn’t be Bob’s fault. The concerns he raised were serious and important ones — in any situation, but particularly where Jane was violating a union contract. And given the issues with Jane, this wasn’t “she was trying really hard but couldn’t cut it, and Bob threw her under the bus on his way out the door.” This was a situation where a manager repeatedly violated boundaries and opened the company to legal liability (re: violations of the contract with the union). That’s Jane’s doing, not Bob’s.

All that said … ideally Jane’s supervisor wouldn’t have left her with the impression that Bob’s feedback is what triggered her firing. Sometimes that’s unavoidable though, like if the information that couldn’t have come from anywhere else. But it’s also possible that they didn’t frame it that way; for all we know, Jane could have already been warned repeatedly about these problems but wasn’t hearing the message (like many people in that situation) and just knows Bob was connected to the latest concern so she blames him, even if there was a string of the problems already jeopardizing her job.

It’s very unlikely that Jane could retaliate against Bob legally. Any cause of action she has for the firing would be against the company, not an individual employee. In theory she could try to claim something like defamation, but (a) she’d have to prove what he said was untrue and that he knew it was untrue and (b) it’s very unlikely a lawyer would take that case. You can never say never because some people do file nuisance lawsuits, but the chances of that are extremely low, and they’re even lower of it going anywhere.

I hope Bob will keep in mind that his concerns were real ones, he was right to share them, and his candor was a service to other employees who were also being mismanaged by Jane. And for what it’s worth, it’s refreshing to see a company taking exit interview feedback seriously, since many don’t act on it at all.

WASHINGTON—Saying that she was probably just bloated from the milkshake, grilled cheese, and deep-fried Oreos her running mate had ordered them both for breakfast, Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris struggled to button her pantsuit Monday after a month of hanging out with Tim Walz. “Hoo, buddy, I know Tim and I have been eating a lot junk food lately, but this jacket is starting to feel a little bit tight,” said an exasperated Harris who, after staring at herself in the mirror, flexing her abdomen, and still being unable to pull her blazer within an inch of closing, added that she probably shouldn’t have eaten that last jumbo double-battered corn dog Walz had gotten her. “I guess I never noticed it, but Tim is always offering to split pork chops, casseroles, and funnel cakes pretty much wherever we go. Plus, he loves his afternoon marshmallows. But I’m sure I’ll burn it off in no time. How many calories could there be in one bacon-wrapped donut sandwich?” At press time, Harris had given up trying to get her pantsuit to close and opted to wear an XL Big Dawgs T-shirt to her presidential campaign rally instead.

The post Kamala Harris Struggling To Button Pantsuit After Month Of Hanging Out With Tim Walz appeared first on The Onion.

CINCINNATI—In an act that demonstrated a singularly cold-blooded focus, 32-year-old Andrew Thompson reportedly turned off his phone Monday with the intensity of a mobster smothering a key witness with a pillow. Sources confirmed that as Thompson grasped the iPhone, his right hand shook while pushing down its side power button as if he were struggling to snuff the life out of a federal witness with intimate knowledge of a crime family’s financial dealings. Several reports indicated that, like a hardened killer unmoved by the muffled pleas of a former associate begging him to spare their life, Thompson went on to ignore a pop-up from the phone asking if he really wanted to turn it off. According to sources, the pull of his Instagram and TikTok feeds briefly tempted Thompson to reconsider this rash act, as if he were a trained assassin who pulled away the pillow at the last minute to urge the doomed individual to run, run, and never look back. However, sources added that Thompson soon hardened his heart by reminding himself that he needed a good night’s sleep and then grit his teeth with the determination of someone acting under the sacred code of omertà, someone who knew their life was at risk if they did not carry out the hit. Reports stated that a moment later the phone’s blank screen stared up at him like the dead, empty eyes of a corpse. At press time, Thompson was said to have put the phone away in a drawer and left it for the night as if he were leaving a dead body behind for a screaming loved one to find the next morning.

The post Phone Manually Turned Off With Intensity Of Mobster Smothering Witness With Pillow appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Praising the latest of the car’s bleeding-edge features that felt like they came from the future, Cybertruck owner Anselm Hart bragged to friends Monday about its high-tech pedal that makes the vehicle accelerate when pressed. “It’s this bonkers, next-level thing that lets you go fast when push it down on it with your foot,” said the 36-year-old programmer, describing how he felt like “some sort cyberpunk bounty hunter” when he used his foot to apply pressure to a lever that increased the vehicle’s speed in proportion to how much he pressed the innovative device. “No, you don’t get down on your knees and pull it with your hands when you want to go slower. I understand why you’d think that, but that’s not it. There’s actually this whole different pedal you push to go slower. It’s hard to explain, but it works so well it’s like they somehow smuggled in alien technology. Elon Musk is a fucking genius for this.” Hart went on to assert his firm belief that all cars would boast the feature within the next 50 years.

The post Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed  appeared first on The Onion.

PUNTA GORDA, FL—Expressing bafflement at the amount of plainly idiotic behavior he was witnessing, local man Tobias Coffey stated Monday that he could not understand how the cartoon character on the screen in front of him could be such as dumbass. “Wow, you really are a moron, aren’t you?” said Coffey, who sat alone in his studio apartment and shook his head at the animated coyote on the television in front of him, remarking that anyone with half a brain could tell that was just the same old roadrunner wearing a curly blond wig and not a completely different character. “How the hell did you get caught in all those mousetraps? You’re the one who laid them down there in the first place, dipshit! And honestly, a third-grader could do a better job rollerskating with a rocket strapped to his back.” At press time, Coffey felt guilty after discovering that the character’s foolishness was likely the result of concussions suffered while running full speed into a wall of solid rock painted to look like a tunnel.

The post Man Can’t Believe What A Dumbass Cartoon Character Is appeared first on The Onion.

The Justice Department accused Russia of using unwitting right-wing influencers—including well-known personalities such as Tim Pool, Dave Rubin, and Benny Johnson—in its quest to amplify U.S. domestic divisions ahead of the 2024 presidential election, racking up millions of views. What do you think?

“No financial supporter of podcasting should go unpunished.”

Ron Ashmore, Microchip Dealer

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“And people say there’s no money pursuing a career in the arts.”

Rina McColley, Fossil Auditor

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“This is why I only read trusted news from sites like StopTheSteal.Ru.”

Gerald Larch, Gel Stirrer

The post Right-Wing Influencers Covertly Funded By Russia appeared first on The Onion.

Jordan Peterson has unveiled his “anti-woke” University: Peterson Academy. Which is definitely a real university and not just Conservative MasterClass. Being the curious intellectuals we are, we signed up and are here to report back on the 7 courses you absolutely have to take to broaden your mind, learn about the power of self-discipline and […]

The post Top 5 courses at Jordan Peterson’s new University appeared first on The Beaverton.

OTTAWA — Canada’s Air Transport Security Authority has announced that travellers averse to being scanned by invasive technology will now have the option to be gracefully sketched like one of the beautiful French models the security officers have trained on. “Our machines are safe and non-invasive,” said Nada Semaan, CATSA’s president and CEO. “Their electronic […]

The post Airport security introduces option to sketch travellers like one of their French girls appeared first on The Beaverton.

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Later he awkwardly buys a beer and pours it down his shirt.

Enlarge / The USS Manchester. Just the spot for a Starlink dish. (credit: Department of Defense)

It's no secret that government IT can be a huge bummer. The records retention! The security! So government workers occasionally take IT into their own hands with creative but, err, unauthorized solutions.

For instance, a former US Ambassador to Kenya in 2015 got in trouble after working out of an embassy compound bathroom—the only place where he could use his personal computer (!) to access an unsecured network (!!) that let him log in to Gmail (!!!), where he did much of his official business—rules and security policies be damned.

Still, the ambassador had nothing on senior enlisted crew members of the littoral combat ship USS Manchester, who didn't like the Navy's restriction of onboard Internet access. In 2023, they decided that the best way to deal with the problem was to secretly bolt a Starlink terminal to the "O-5 level weatherdeck" of a US warship.

Read 15 remaining paragraphs | Comments

We’ve noted for years how you no longer really own the things you buy. Whether it’s smart home hardware that becomes useless paperweights when the manufacturer implodes, or post-purchase firmware updates that actively make your device less useful, you simply never know if the product you bought yesterday will be the same product tomorrow.

Now a coalition of consumer groups, activists, and lawmakers are pushing the FTC to crack down on “smart” device manufacturers that suddenly pull support for products or make them less useful — either by simply removing features or hiding them behind annoying new subscription paywalls.

In a letter sent last week to key FTC officials, a coalition of seventeen different groups (including Consumer Reports, iFixit, and US PIRG) requested that the agency take aim at several commonplace anti-consumer practices, including “software tethering” (making hardware useless or less useful later via firmware update), or the act of suddenly locking key functionality behind subscriptions:

Both practices are examples of how companies are using software tethers in their devices to infringe on a consumer’s right to own the products they buy. While the FTC has taken some limited actions with regard to this issue, a lack of clarity and enforcement has led to an
ecosystem where consumers cannot reliably count on the connected products they buy to last.

The letter cites numerous instances of consumer harms Techdirt has covered at length, ranging from Peloton’s recent decision to charge used bike owners a $95 fee for no coherent reason, to the “smart” baby bassinet maker that recently decided to paywall most of the device’s most popular features.

The letter correctly points out that this environment, where consumers are constantly shelling out significant money for devices that can be killed or rendered less useful (often without clear communications to end users), is resulting in a “death by a thousand cuts” for consumer rights. And, the groups note, it’s likely to only get worse without clear guidance and enforcement by the FTC.

The FTC has occasionally made inquiries in this space, but often only superficially. For example the FTC launched an investigation into Google’s decision to turn Revolv smart home hardware into useless crap but then took no substantive action and implemented no meaningful consumer reforms.

But the (intentionally) underfunded, understaffed, and endlessly embattled agency only has so many resources, and struggles to tackle even far more pressing issues like widespread monopolization or privacy violations. Still, some federal guidance and a few warnings would probably go a long way in a “smart” hardware sector that’s become a hot mess in the cloud computing age.

In brief: We’re keeping a close eye on the Gulf of Mexico, but all of our best data continues to suggest that a tropical storm forming there will remain off the Texas coast. At this time impacts in Houston look to range from modest to minimal, with rain chances dependent on how far the system remains offshore. After Wednesday, we’re likely returning to sunny skies and highs of around 90 degrees to end the week.

Potential Tropical Cyclone Six

We expect the tropical system developing in the southern Gulf of Mexico to drop the “potential” label and become Tropical Storm Francine within the next day or so.

We have been saying for a couple of days that this system will move near the South Texas coast by Tuesday, but then is likely to remain off the coast as it turns northeast. Almost all of the computer modeling that matters continues to point toward this scenario, which would keep impacts in Houston at a modest level. The forecast could still change, but time is running out for this to happen.

So what will this mean for the greater Houston area? Our region is likely to see elevated rain chances on Tuesday afternoon, night, and Wednesday, especially for locations south of Interstate 10. In terms of accumulations, we still need to watch the development of the system, but at this time I don’t anticipate the potential for much, if any flooding, with the possible exception of areas immediately along the coast. As for areas inland of Interstate 10, the rain potential is significantly less.

In terms of seas, we’re likely to see tides elevated 1 or 3 feet above normal levels as the storm passes on Tuesday night and Wednesday. Winds will also be elevated during this time period, especially on Wednesday morning. Galveston Island could briefly see tropical-storm force winds, but I wouldn’t bet on that. These winds will fall off quickly for inland areas. The upper limit for winds in Houston, away from the coast, is probably sustained 15 or 20 mph, with gusts up to 30 mph or so. This should not cause significant issues with electricity distribution.

For impacts in Louisiana, which could be serious should Francine continue to develop into a Category 1 or Category 2 hurricane, please see our ongoing coverage at The Eyewall.

Monday

It’s a lovely morning in Houston, with temperatures generally in the mid- to upper-60s, and dewpoints in the lower 50s. This first taste of fall over the weekend has been wonderful, but it will soon be gone. High temperatures today will push into the upper-80s under mostly sunny skies, and humidity levels will follow (but it won’t feel Houston humid until Tuesday, as some modestly drier air lingers). Lows tonight will drop into the lower 70s for most of the city. Winds will be from the northeast at about 10 mph, with higher gusts.

Tuesday

Clouds return on Tuesday, and this will help to limit high temperatures to the mid-80s for most locations. We may start to see some rain from Francine by Tuesday afternoon, but this will depend on how well the system organizes, and how far its center remains offshore. These rain chances will persist overnight, with winds increasing in intensity overnight. Lows will drop into the mid-70s.

Wednesday

As described above, this is when the most serious impacts will occur from Francine, to the extent that they occur in Houston at all. Expect cloudy skies and high temperatures in the lower-80s. Rain chances will be high for coastal areas, and healthy for areas south of Interstate 10. I expect the rain to start moving away from our area by Wednesday afternoon or evening. We’ll see. Lows Wednesday night drop into the lower 70s.

Thursday and Friday

These will be a pair of mostly sunny days with high temperatures in the upper 80s to about 90 degrees as Houston lies on the backside of Francine.

Saturday and Sunday

The weekend should see more sunshine, but perhaps a few clouds mixed in as well. We are talking highs of around 90 degrees, with plenty of humidity, and nights with temperatures in the mid- to upper-70s. I can’t entirely rule out some rain, but chances are probably in the vicinity of 20 percent.

Next week

I think we’ll remain in a fairly warm, late summer pattern for much of next week with highs in the vicinity of 90 degrees, or low 90s. We’ll see some additional rain chances from time to time, but nothing that looks too extreme. I don’t see much evidence for a cold front within at least the next 10 days.

Note

We will publish an additional update on the tropical system by 4 pm CT this afternoon.

Imagine you’re walking through a gallery, lit with a magical aura that could only come from the softest candlelight or the most thoughtful natural lighting filtering through the air. The white oak floor emanates a welcome warmth. The room is quiet. A different sort of ambiance than the gentle cacophony of the typical art museum. No, a velvet hush falls over the space, blanketing the environment in cozy stillness. Where the concrete walls once stood, you can see only fabric. Floor to ceiling, intricately designed, infinitely stitched. Tapestries filled with life and death, screaming a simultaneous story of victory and defeat, past and present. 

Carefully placed casework filled with armor and weapons punctuate an otherwise completely open room at the Kimbell Art Museum. I can creep along the margins of Art and War in the Renaissance: The Battle of Pavia Tapestries,” focusing on individual narrative and minute detail. I can gaze left to right, allowing my eyes to follow the through lines of the narrative like a film strip. Or, I can stand in the center of the room and spin, slowly opening the periphery of my eyes to take in the breadth of the story as it happens, frozen in stitches but vibrant and alive. I can be Neo, frozen in the Matrix, with bullets whizzing past as the camera rotates at impossible angles. In reality, I am merely a woman of the 21st Century, standing amid gargantuan tapestries telling a story 500 years old.

Installation view, “Art and War in the Renaissance: The Battle of Pavia Tapestries” at the Kimbell Art Museum, Fort Worth

When it is time for us to commemorate the greatest victories and defeats of our time, how will we do it? Will we write great works of literature, or publish detailed photo essay compendiums, or create websites or films or great plays to perform? 500 years ago, half a world away, a fleet of artisans bent their backs over warp and weft, weaving brilliant silk, wool, gold, and silver in impeccable detail, their needles building an epic saga of hope, fear, triumph, and anguish in a monument to Holy Roman Emperor Charles V’s victory over King Frances I. I imagine them squinting in the candle light, gazing at the threads as they wove they built their tale by hand. 

Rare in their size and scope, and especially rare in their excellent condition, the tapestries envelop me with their dazzling detail. Though I am immersed in the story, I cannot help but to wonder at the labor that poured into creating the seven tapestries that fill the gallery. These tapestries are not the master work of a single brilliant painter or sculptor. Designed by court artist Bernaert van Orley, they are the culmination of thousands of hours of labor by artisan weavers in the Willem and Jan Dermoyen workshop in Brussels and took six years to complete. At the time they were made, tapestries were much more expensive to produce than paintings, and so the States General of the Brussels royal palace was indeed making a statement about power in their commission, and again in their display. 

As a fiber artist myself, I consider the process these artisans underwent to produce the tapestries, which are so large the Kimbell had to construct larger walls in order to display them. Construction likely started with the creation of a large cartoon painting on paper or cloth, the same scale as the finished works. With the cartoon affixed to the underside of a massive loom, weavers likely sat side by side, working colorful weft strands into the warp and knotting them off in accordance with their template, painting the image in thread. Stitch by infinitesimal stitch. Foot by painstaking foot. My back hurts just thinking about it.

The layout of the exhibition is key to the reading of the tapestries and the weaponry on display. Standing at the center of the room, you can spin in a slow circle and trace elements of the landscape and story as they bleed into one another, continuing a panoramic view of this short and bloody battle. Evident throughout is the conflict between past and present, as knights and mercenaries wielding swords and lances under thick plate armor fall to lushly dressed nobles and soldiers wielding firearms. From your perch in the center of the gallery, you might also play a matching game with the weaponry, tracing pikes and suits of armor and firearms to their corresponding images in the tapestries. Throughout the exhibition, I had the distinct feeling I was participating in a very old, very detailed, very bloody game of I Spy.

Detail, Brandistock, from “Art and War in the Renaissance” at the Kimbell Art Museum

Don’t let the brilliant palette, frilly attire, and picturesque landscapes fool you: the overall content of this exhibition is not for the faint of heart. Horses falling dead under screaming knights. Soldiers fleeing into the river to drown. Puddles of blood. Terror. Defeat. The chaos of war is masterfully stitched in vibrant, painterly thread. As I look, I grow solemn at the thought of the weavers spending hours toiling with their crimson threads, spilling blood into the brilliant blue water, creating masterful translucency, and bending space and time to their will. As their threads weave into the fabric of the story, they participate in the drowning of the soldiers and the felling of the horses over and over. 

Detail, “The Flight of the French Rear Guard under the Duke of Alençon,” tapestry designed by Bernard van Orley, woven in the workshop of Willem and Jan Dermoyen, Brussels

Just as I think I can truly, positively, bear no further witness to the violence, I smile incredulously at the sight of an unarmed man carrying a chicken on a pike, making mischievous eye contact with me. While I’m sure the pillaged chicken is intended for some soldier’s supper, I prefer to imagine the feathered friend leading the vanguard in a frenzied attack of beak and claws. The illustrated presence of the Imperial Baggage Train among the chaotic battle scenes emphasizes a recurring theme throughout the exhibition: it’s about the people. The people who fought, the people who fed, the people who died, the people who paid, the people who wove. The sheer enormity of the tapestries, coupled with the remarkable, often whimsically elegant, examples of period armor and weaponry, emphasizes the collaborative nature of history. I am reminded of the complicity the artists and artisans have in the telling of this story, and the role these items served, 500 years ago and today, as tools of power and propaganda. In the case of the Battle of Pavia tapestries, history is woven by the victors, and there are a lot of authors. 

Detail, “The Incursion of the Imperial Baggage Train into the Battlefield, and the Surrender of the Swiss Pikemen of the French Army,” tapestry designed by Bernard van Orley, woven in the workshop of Willem and Jan Dermoyen, Brussels

Art and War in the Renaissance: The Battle of Pavia Tapestries is on view at the Kimbell Art Museum, Fort Worth until September 15, 2024.

The post The Chaos of War: The Battle of Pavia Tapestries at the Kimbell Art Museum appeared first on Glasstire.

1. Are you sure you’re really trapped? You don’t look that trapped.

2. But you’re too smart to be trapped in a well.

3. Yeah, I was trapped in a well once too. It was pretty dank. But the well just went away when I made sure to sleep more every night, eat protein at breakfast, and cold plunge every ninety minutes.

4. Are you sure this is even a well?

5. It could be worse. You should do some gratitude journaling.

6. Have you tried getting out once in a while? Call a friend. Go to a movie. Rent a luxury sedan, drive yourself to a remote Airbnb in the woods, and go on a three-day-long hiking adventure searching for the perfect gnarled walking stick.

7. Nobody wants to be around you if you’re just gonna dwell on this well stuff.

8. Have you even bothered to look outside of the well? It’s beautiful out. The sky is cyan, the sun is shining, and the dewpoint is a perfect fifty-four degrees. All of us out here love how it’s just sultry enough to skip the lip balm but not so much that our hair’s all frizzy.

9. Maybe there’s something you need to learn from this well, like resilience?

10. C’mon, this well isn’t even that deep. Did you know there was a guy in 1895 who got trapped in a well that was 143 feet deep? The water in his well was up to his chest. Yours is thigh height at the most. Anyway, this guy carved his own steps into the well, climbed those steps with broken bones, and then hoisted his own battered body out using enormous sunflowers!

11. Are you even trying?

12. You could start by changing the story you’re telling yourself. And maybe your attitude.

13. That 1895 guy didn’t even have a single person around to shout suggestions down to him from the safety and comfort of not being in the well. You really do need to practice gratitude. Have you gotten yourself a journal yet? I mean, you could at least try etching things you’re grateful for into the well’s wall with your fingernails.

14. Have you tried yoga?

New comic!

Just imagine all the cool stuff I can't find.

CALGARY – Calgarians are being asked to ration water while crucial pipeline repairs are conducted, reminding the city’s older residents of the great water rationing effort of three months ago.    “Youngins won’t remember this, but I was around for the last water shortage, if you can believe it,” said 17-year-old Allison Cheng. “That’s right, kids. […]

The post September 2024 water crisis reminds elderly Calgarians of the ol’ water crisis of June ‘24  appeared first on The Beaverton.

In brief: Development of some sort of tropical system is becoming increasingly likely in the western Gulf of Mexico next week. Generally, there are two potential outcomes: Either a better organized system that tracks offshore toward Louisiana, or a lesser organized system that tracks offshore but closer to the Texas coast. In this post, also published on The Eyewall, we go deeper on what could happen and its implications for the greater Houston region.

The state of play as of early afternoon on Saturday is that we have a fading system in the northern Gulf of Mexico, which was responsible for much of our rainfall this past week; and we also have Invest 91L with thunderstorm activity in the southern Gulf, but no real organization. Our focus should now turn toward 91L, in the southern Gulf.

At some point heading into later tomorrow, Invest 91L will probably halt its southward progress, slow down and begin to make a turn back northward later on Monday. From here, we’re beginning to see some model consensus increasing around this becoming at least a tropical storm by Tuesday or Wednesday. Development odds from the National Hurricane Center have increased to 70 percent as of this afternoon.

As 91L comes north, it will enter a tricky environment from a forecast point of view. On the one hand, you will likely have low shear and warm Gulf waters to help it along. On the other hand, there is likely to be a lot of dry air over Texas thanks to this weekend’s early fall cold front. That dry air works against tropical development. We’ve seen dry air in Texas take its toll on tropical systems before, so that’s one reason to be cautious about some of the more bullish models.

Whatever the case, slow, gradual development is likely late Monday and Tuesday as this comes north about 100 to 200 miles off the coast of Mexico. Modeling is actually in very good agreement on all this through Tuesday morning. From that point, the models diverge. The European model, which I might argue would have a better handle on more of the nuance at play here, tends to develop this slowly. The GFS, ICON, and Euro AI (AIFS) modeling shows a slightly faster development path for 91L on Tuesday into Wednesday.

This poses an interesting forecast challenge. The upper pattern on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning will support steering currents around the periphery of high pressure off the west coast of Florida. This should allow for a north and northeast track in the Gulf. A stronger storm would probably be more apt to take that northeastward movement, where as a weaker storm may come more due north. We see this as both the ICON and AIFS show a faster, stronger storm farther out in the Gulf headed toward Louisiana, whereas the European model keeps it weaker and close to the mouth of the Rio Grande River.

The GFS eventually caves and strengthens it, allowing the system to follow the AIFS/ICON group toward Louisiana, whereas the European model just brings it into Texas as a depression or low-end tropical storm.

Obviously, this gives us a forecast challenge, but I think we’re in two very distinct camps right now.

• Camp 1: A strong tropical storm or hurricane that tracks off the Texas coast toward Louisiana arriving Wednesday-ish.
• Camp 2: A depression or loosely organized tropical storm with a lot of rain that impacts Texas, especially at the coast Tuesday through Thursday, coming ashore between Galveston and Cameron, LA.

I am not a betting man, but I would probably say the odds right now are 70/30 in favor of camp 2, but that 30 percent is a weighty one given that the system could be a hurricane in that scenario. Normally, I’d discount the ICON model, but given its performance this season and the consistency it has had with track and intensity here, I think there’s merit to considering it with this particular system.

So what do you do? You check back in again tomorrow for more. If you’re in Louisiana, it’s probably a good idea to make sure you have your hurricane kits up to date and know what you’ll do in the lesser chance this comes your way as a stronger storm. In Texas, I think Houston and Corpus Christi are fine. However, I think folks from Matagorda Bay through Sabine Pass along the coast and bays should probably be aware of both a rainfall flooding risk and a tidal flooding risk that may develop from this. More to come.

Note

We’ll continue to monitor this storm closely. If the forecast materially changes, and we are likely to see more directly threats in terms of wind and surge in the Houston area, Space City Weather will publish an update early on Sunday morning. If the forecast remains more or less the same, look for an update later in the day.

TORONTO – Amidst an increasingly tough real estate market for sellers fraught with increased listings and buyers sidelined by interest rates, the Canadian Real Estate Association has reported that a number of their members have increasingly been forced to actually do their job. “Wow so I really have to like… SELL this thing,” said Toronto […]

The post Amidst increasingly tough real estate market, realtors forced to actually do job appeared first on The Beaverton.

OTTAWA – In the wake of the news that Russia was paying far-right personalities to promote talking points that helped sow discord in America and Canada while supporting Russian talking points about Ukraine, Rebel News founder Ezra Levant has reacted with fury over the fact that he wasn’t getting any of those sweet Rubles. “Hundreds […]

The post Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time appeared first on The Beaverton.

PLAINS, GA—Opening his eyes to find an empty room eerily devoid of any sounds, former President Jimmy Carter reportedly awoke Friday to learn that he had seemingly outlived every single person in America. “Hello? Is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?” said the 99-year-old in a shouted plea, stumbling through the halls of an abandoned hospice center to reach the front doors, a formerly bustling town now entirely still as the 39th leader of the free world frantically peered into windows and banged on doors street after street, mile after mile, only to find the nation had become a ghost town. “No, no—this can’t be. My family? Where is my family? I must find a phone to call Bill and Hillary—surely they’ll know what’s going on. God damnit, pick up already! Oh no—the lines have gone dead. This cannot be happening. I am…the only man left on earth.” At press time, a slight whizzing sound reportedly broke through the silence as an arrow flew through the air from an unseen source, hitting Carter square in the back.

The post Jimmy Carter Awakens To Learn He Outlived Every Single Person In America appeared first on The Onion.

KANSAS CITY, MO—Growing increasingly alarmed as she stared at her boyfriend Travis Kelce’s upcoming 2024 schedule, a horrified Taylor Swift reportedly realized for the first time Friday that football happens every year. “So football…that’s not just a thing Travis did last fall for a couple of months—that’s something that’s going to happen again and again?” said a wincing, shuddering Swift, who added that she had assumed she would never again need to dress up in Chiefs merchandise, buy out stadium boxes, or hang out in Kansas City after Kelce and his team won the Super Bowl last year. “Oh wow. I thought Brittany Mahomes was joking when she said she’d see me again soon. How many games are there this year? 17? And that’s not counting the playoffs. Hoo boy. Guess I better start scheduling more stops on the Eras tour.” At press time, Swift was seen googling how long it took for CTE to kick in and end a football player’s career forever.

The post Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year appeared first on The Onion.

Hunter Biden pleaded guilty to federal tax charges, a surprise move that spares President Joe Biden and his family the ordeal of another likely criminal trial. What do you think?

“I bet he wishes he had some powerful government connections right about now.”

Eric Day, Unemployed

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“That’s exactly what someone who’s guilty would do.”

Mike Lopez, Brick Speculator

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“Optimistic to think I’m not going to harass his family anyway.”

Sandy Caldwell, Glass Filler

The post Hunter Biden Pleads Guilty To Federal Tax Charges appeared first on The Onion.

Despite its looming U.S. ban, TikTok continues to grow in popularity, with over 1 billion active monthly users across the globe. The Onion shares tips for growing your follower count on the social media platform. 

• Stay on top of new viral trends by subscribing to print editions of Harper’s Bazaar, Smithsonian Magazine, and The Christian Science Monitor. 
• Upload your content during one of the 20 hours a day the average user is active on TikTok. 
• Either get really hot or singularly hideous.
• Did you see that thing where they slice watermelon with a Pringles can and then have like a long tube of watermelon? Maybe invent something like that.
• Never hurts to get those feet in the shot.
• Don’t be too bashful. Share that home remedy for cancer you discovered.
• Content praising the unmatchable beauty of the Chinese countryside tends to perform well.
• If you’re going to exploit your childhood trauma, at least drag it out over a multipart series.
• Bribe the TikTok algorithm with a big, juicy digital steak.
• Post your apology videos consistently.

The post Tips For Growing Your TikTok Following appeared first on The Onion.

Venezuela’s authoritarian leader Nicolás Maduro decreed that Christmas will start Oct. 1 in the country, the announcement coming as Venezuela grapples with the fallout from a July presidential election that saw Maduro claim a third term despite global skepticism and outcry from the country’s opposition movement. What do you think?

“Seems like they’re starting the decrees about Christmas earlier every year.”

Brent Bucheit, Podium Carpenter

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“As long as he doesn’t fuck with the Feast of the Seven Fishes, I’ll let it slide.”

Jase Fabrie, Second Bailiff

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“Venezuelans get to have all the fun.”

Charlene Tupps, Systems Analyst

The post Venezuelan President Declares Christmas In October appeared first on The Onion.