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11 Oct 17:53

City Reflections: Contemporary Art from Texas

by William Sarradet
The verso side of a video installation; wooden armature for a mobile wall reaches more than halfway to the ceiling, and is propped up by long wooden boards and sandbags.

Eileen Maxson, “Parent Trap,” installation view

I hop on the bus to get to the Dallas Contemporary Gala after-party. The bus is late, and passes me at the stop, before screeching to a halt once it crosses the intersection. “I’m sorry about that,” the driver says to me. Maybe she didn’t see me because it was night, and I’m wearing head-to-toe dark, autumnal mauve and sharp Korean-style black dress shoes. I’m carrying my Canon with me, which is also hard to register in the dark of night.

I take the bus downtown, because I have already paid for a day pass in order to study at the library downtown, and then return home for more audio editing in the afternoon. Day passes with DART last until midnight, so I can take the bus downtown and then catch a cheap Uber to the Contemporary. Unfortunately, there aren’t any viable bus routes to DC on the Dallas bus system; there’s always a twenty-minute trek along a main road with no sidewalks. Public transit requires triple the time of simply taking a car, but in many cases I almost prefer it because I have books to read. In September, I have read Virtue Hoarders by Catherine Liu and listened to an audiobook of Eilene Zimmerman’s Smacked. Liu writes about post-industrial capitalism, among other things, and claims that a management class has positioned itself between the ruling classes and working classes in order to hedge itself against the market forces that make the rich richer and the poor poorer. In Zimmerman’s book, the author recounts her life through the lens of her marriage, which begins in earnest and degenerates due to her former husband’s professional aspirations, as well as his descent into addiction. Liu describes why labor power is degraded, and Zimmerman gives detailed anecdotal evidence of her life in freelance journalism while her life partner booms and busts in the world of high-powered litigation. 

Much of my reading of these texts happened on the bus or the train. I’ve tried to intellectualize why I like it, but I find that to be somewhat futile to explain. I simply enjoy reading more than driving. The caveat being that these mediums of literary distribution rely on mobility. I get my audiobooks from the library and listen to them in miniscule, wireless headphones. Liu’s book is small, like plenty of short-format readers published by university presses (Oxford University Press has an excellent series of A Very Short Introduction readers in hundreds of subjects). 

What I appreciate about Liu’s book is its clear framework for understanding how the value of labor fluctuates depending on one’s position within the professional management hierarchy. In contrast, Zimmerman’s book offers a more grounded, real-world perspective on what “success” and “employment” truly look like. Both authors touch on the concept of exceptionalism in culture, which, in many ways, is defined by one’s proximity to those willing to invest in or compensate them. In the art world, this often means navigating a network of individuals orbiting around capital.

My inclination is to write about art that reflects the dynamics of cosmopolitanism, or the experience of being an urban dweller. However, this proves challenging for two reasons: first, I encounter few artists engaging directly with their position within the broader social fabric; and second, my interest in public transit goes beyond the subject itself. Instead, I want to explore how transit expands one’s understanding of place. Riding a train frees us from the focus required for driving and allows us to redirect that attention toward our surroundings, or the people we share the space with.

With this in mind, I’d like to examine several artworks recently on view through the lens of metropolitanism. We will consider how these works engage with themes of urban living, and whether they speak to the intersections of public space, shared environments, and the pluralities of city life.

A printed reproduction of an architectural drawing retrieved from the Bay of Vesuvius

Excavation Plan of the Villa of the Papyri (reproduction)

The architectural plan of the Villa of the Papyri, displayed at The Legacy of Vesuvius: Bourbon Discoveries on the Bay of Naples at the Meadows Museum in Dallas, maps one of the grandest villas in Herculaneum, buried under volcanic ash in AD 79. The plan is significant not only as a testament to ancient Roman engineering but also as a cultural symbol of the intellectual life housed within the villa, including a library of papyrus scrolls, some of which have been partially recovered and deciphered. The villa’s layout includes luxurious gardens, intricate baths, and large peristyles, reflecting the Roman elite’s relationship to leisure, knowledge, and domestic architecture.

In terms of urbanism and metropolitanism, this plan offers insights into the lives of the wealthy in ancient urban centers and how such lives were integrated into the broader spatial, cultural, and intellectual networks of the Roman Empire. The recovery of objects like bisque porcelain sculptures ties the ancient artifacts to modern narratives of excavation and preservation, highlighting how urban centers layer their histories with relics of the past. This also subtly speaks to how modern cities manage their own cultural patrimony, balancing development with preservation.

A painting of two runners; one is standing out of the frame, and the other is folded forward in a long stretch.

Jason Dann, “Two Runners,” oil and charcoal on canvas, 36 x 24 inches

Jason Dann’s Two Runners captures a moment of rest or exercise, blending urban and suburban visual cues through the pairing of athletic shoes and a checkered pattern that suggests either a picnic blanket or a distorted urban grid. The reclining figure may imply a moment of respite in a park, and the running shoes of the standing figure suggest the routines and regimens of modern life. In terms of metropolitanism, the image reflects a contemporary tension between physicality and the artificial environments in which we live.

The rendering of grass and open space may evoke urban parklands, which are vital but contested public spaces in cities, shaped by the push and pull of development and natural preservation. If we extend the conversation to public transit networks, this work doesn’t directly reference them but evokes the rhythms of city life, where movement (running) and rest (stretching) mirror the urban commuter’s journey.

A paintings of a young man laying down with the sun shining from above

Jason Dann, “By The Windowsill,” oil and mixed media on canvas, 36 x 24 inches

While Dann’s By The Windowsill is more intimate, the hotel context invites us to consider how individuals live within cities: in rented spaces, temporarily inhabiting locations, and pausing between journeys. The windowsill might serve as a metaphorical threshold, separating the interior world of personal reflection from the bustling exterior world of the city.

A three-channel video in which three flatscreen TV monitors are hung horizontally adjacent to each other, depicting a scene at the table with the artist sitting between her parents on either side of her.

Eileen Maxson, “Parent Trap,” three-channel video

Eileen Maxson’s three-channel video installation addresses the complexities of contemporary American politics through an intergenerational lens, with her parents being both subjects and commentators. This work taps into a critique of the performative nature of political discourse, especially within a polarized two-party system that often feels like a manufactured spectacle.

In terms of urbanism and metropolitanism, Maxson’s work doesn’t directly engage with the city but reflects the larger cultural and social divides that manifest in urban settings. Public transit networks, symbolic of shared public space and collective action, contrast with the individual, often isolated nature of political opinion-making shown in this video. The metaphor of a “false wall” installed in the gallery reflects the barriers between the personal and political realms, underscoring how political action can feel disconnected from reality.

The setup of the gallery as a nearly empty space, focusing attention solely on the video screens, speaks to the minimalist nature of political engagement that can exist in insulated bubbles — be it urban, suburban, or rural. Maxson’s interrogation of her parents’ political views thus serves as a microcosm of the broader national dialogue, framed within an art space that is simultaneously a site for public and private engagement.

****

William Sarradet is the Assistant Editor for Glasstire

The post City Reflections: Contemporary Art from Texas appeared first on Glasstire.

11 Oct 17:52

Galveston man drops wrongful death claims against women who allegedly helped his ex-wife get an abortion

by By Eleanor Klibanoff
Marcus Silva and the women agreed to drop lawsuits against each other just days before they were set to go to trial.
11 Oct 17:51

Texas students can now see which state public universities would accept them before they apply

by By Kate McGee
Students can enter their class rank, grade point average, and standardized test scores to get a list of universities to which they’d be admitted.
11 Oct 13:05

Tonight may offer a rare opportunity to see the northern lights in Southeast Texas

by Matt Lanza

In brief: Go outside, ideally away from central portions of Houston and look north after dark tonight, and bring your phone and take pictures! We have links to tips for using your phone camera below.

Earth is in the crosshairs of a coronal mass ejection (CME) tonight, perpetrated by a solar storm. No need to panic. In fact, this may be an opportunity you rarely get: A chance to see the northern lights at extremely low latitudes. Social media is flooded with photos from all across the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic of bright, strong auroral displays.

My sister in Bear, Delaware sent me this photo earlier this evening. (Steph Helgeson)

There have even been photos as far south as Nassau in the Bahamas of the aurora — again. This happened back in May when an auroral display triggered some pictures sent to us from Conroe and elsewhere up north. This storm may be a bit beefier and skies are absolutely crystal clear, so there may be opportunity to see this over more of the region tonight. We can’t promise anything, obviously, as solar storms are fickle creatures, but the data supports the potential for an aurora here in Texas.

One day, we’ll post more about the science behind this and why it takes such a strong storm to allow the northern lights to be visible this far south. In the meantime, there are a few things you should consider if you try to photograph the aurora tonight. The links below will help you. Go forth and conquer.

Tips to photograph the aurora from The Points Guy

Tips from hello-aurora.com

Tips from The Verge

11 Oct 13:03

Trudeau promises to rethink Liberal strategy after 5 or 6 more general election losses

by Ian MacIntyre

OTTAWA – With polls projecting the Liberals to win as few as 53 seats in the next federal election, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has pledged to shake up his party’s campaign strategy following roughly a half dozen more losses. “I’m pretty confident that Canadians like what I’m doing, even if they say or vote like […]

The post Trudeau promises to rethink Liberal strategy after 5 or 6 more general election losses appeared first on The Beaverton.

11 Oct 13:03

Francis Ford Coppola’s ‘Megalopolis’ Flops

by The Onion Staff

Francis Ford Coppola’s decades-in-the-making, self-financed epic Megalopolis flopped at the box office, earning only $4 million opening weekend despite the Godfather director spending $120 million of his own money. What do you think?

“If he wanted people to see it, he should have just said so. We’re not mind readers!”

Glen Roenicke, Startup Maven

“I can only buy out so many theaters at a time.”

Vicky Carothers, Produce Slicer

“These days, even a vanity project nobody wanted isn’t a sure thing.”

Tyler Langley, Podcast Benefactor

The post Francis Ford Coppola’s ‘Megalopolis’ Flops appeared first on The Onion.

11 Oct 13:02

Conspiracy Theorists Claim Hurricanes Man-Made

by The Onion Staff

Conspiracy theorists have taken to social media amidst a devastating hurricane season to promote false rumors that officials control the weather, with some claiming that Helene was an engineered storm to allow corporations to mine regional lithium deposits. What do you think?

“Ridiculous. Everyone knows hurricanes are God’s way of punishing immorality.”

Joel Hadfield, Dumpling Wrapper

“It’s no coincidence that every country with a government has weather.”

Erin Rydell, Network Scheduler

“Well if the government isn’t controlling the weather then who is?”

Paul Crombez, Shoe Lacer

The post Conspiracy Theorists Claim Hurricanes Man-Made appeared first on The Onion.

11 Oct 13:02

Us

by Nicholas Gurewitch

The post Us appeared first on The Perry Bible Fellowship.

11 Oct 13:01

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Trick

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
To be included in the forthcoming Psychologically Abusive Halloween collection.


Today's News:
11 Oct 13:01

Pluralistic: Cars bricked by bankrupt EV company will stay bricked (10 Oct 2024)

by Cory Doctorow


Today's links



A manufacturer's publicity image of a Fisker Ocean electric SUV in a garage next to a wall-mounter charger. The car has been replaced by a gigantic, red clay brick.

Cars bricked by bankrupt EV company will stay bricked (permalink)

There are few phrases in the modern lexicon more accursed than "software-based car," and yet, this is how the failed EV maker Fisker billed its products, which retailed for $40-70k in the few short years before the company collapsed, shut down its servers, and degraded all those "software-based cars":

https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/

Fisker billed itself as a "capital light" manufacturer, meaning that it didn't particularly make anything – rather, it "designed" cars that other companies built, allowing Fisker to focus on "experience," which is where the "software-based car" comes in. Virtually every subsystem in a Fisker car needs (or rather, needed) to periodically connect with its servers, either for regular operations or diagnostics and repair, creating frequent problems with brakes, airbags, shifting, battery management, locking and unlocking the doors:

https://www.businessinsider.com/fisker-owners-worry-about-vehicles-working-bankruptcy-2024-4

Since Fisker's bankruptcy, people with even minor problems with their Fisker EVs have found themselves owning expensive, inert lumps of conflict minerals and auto-loan debt; as one Fisker owner described it, "It's literally a lawn ornament right now":

https://www.businessinsider.com/fisker-owners-describe-chaos-to-keep-cars-running-after-bankruptcy-2024-7

This is, in many ways, typical Internet-of-Shit nonsense, but it's compounded by Fisker's capital light, all-outsource model, which led to extremely unreliable vehicles that have been plagued by recalls. The bankrupt company has proposed that vehicle owners should have to pay cash for these recalls, in order to reserve the company's capital for its creditors – a plan that is clearly illegal:

https://www.veritaglobal.net/fisker/document/2411390241007000000000005

This isn't even the first time Fisker has done this! Ten years ago, founder Henrik Fisker started another EV company called Fisker Automotive, which went bankrupt in 2014, leaving the company's "Karma" (no, really) long-range EVs (which were unreliable and prone to bursting into flames) in limbo:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisker_Karma

Which raises the question: why did investors reward Fisker's initial incompetence by piling in for a second attempt? I think the answer lies in the very factor that has made Fisker's failure so hard on its customers: the "software-based car." Investors love the sound of a "software-based car" because they understand that a gadget that is connected to the cloud is ripe for rent-extraction, because with software comes a bundle of "IP rights" that let the company control its customers, critics and competitors:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

A "software-based car" gets to mobilize the state to enforce its "IP," which allows it to force its customers to use authorized mechanics (who can, in turn, be price-gouged for licensing and diagnostic tools). "IP" can be used to shut down manufacturers of third party parts. "IP" allows manufacturers to revoke features that came with your car and charge you a monthly subscription fee for them. All sorts of features can be sold as downloadable content, and clawed back when title to the car changes hands, so that the new owners have to buy them again. "Software based cars" are easier to repo, making them perfect for the subprime auto-lending industry. And of course, "software-based cars" can gather much more surveillance data on drivers, which can be sold to sleazy, unregulated data-brokers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

Unsurprisingly, there's a large number of Fisker cars that never sold, which the bankruptcy estate is seeking a buyer for. For a minute there, it looked like they'd found one: American Lease, which was looking to acquire the deadstock Fiskers for use as leased fleet cars. But now that deal seems dead, because no one can figure out how to restart Fisker's servers, and these vehicles are bricks without server access:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/10/08/fisker-bankruptcy-hits-major-speed-bump-as-fleet-sale-is-now-in-question/

It's hard to say why the company's servers are so intransigent, but there's a clue in the chaotic way that the company wound down its affairs. The company's final days sound like a scene from the last days of the German Democratic Republic, with apparats from the failing state charging about in chaos, without any plans for keeping things running:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/03/07/east-germany-stasi-surveillance-documents/

As it imploded, Fisker cycled through a string of Chief Financial Officers, losing track of millions of dollars at a time:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/05/31/fisker-collapse-investigation-ev-ocean-suv-henrik-geeta/

When Fisker's landlord regained possession of its HQ, they found "complete disarray," including improperly stored drums of toxic waste:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/10/05/fiskers-hq-abandoned-in-complete-disarray-with-apparent-hazardous-waste-clay-models-left-behind/

And while Fisker's implosion is particularly messy, the fact that it landed in bankruptcy is entirely unexceptional. Most businesses fail (eventually) and most startups fail (quickly). Despite this, businesses – even those in heavily regulated sectors like automotive manufacture – are allowed to design products and undertake operations that are not designed to outlast the (likely short-lived) company.

After the 2008 crisis and the collapse of financial institutions like Lehman Brothers, finance regulators acquired a renewed interest in succession planning. Lehman consisted of over 6,000 separate corporate entities, each one representing a bid to evade regulation and/or taxation. Unwinding that complex hairball took years, during which the entities that entrusted Lehman with their funds – pensions, charitable institutions, etc – were unable to access their money.

To avoid repeats of this catastrophe, regulators began to insist that banks produce "living wills" – plans for unwinding their affairs in the event of catastrophe. They had to undertake "stress tests" that simulated a wind-down as planned, both to make sure the plan worked and to estimate how long it would take to execute. Then banks were required to set aside sufficient capital to keep the lights on while the plan ran on.

This regulation has been indifferently enforced. Banks spent the intervening years insisting that they are capable of prudently self-regulating without all this interference, something they continue to insist upon even after the Silicon Valley Bank collapse:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/15/mon-dieu-les-guillotines/#ceci-nes-pas-une-bailout

The fact that the rules haven't been enforced tells us nothing about whether the rules would work if they were enforced. A string of high-profile bankruptcies of companies who had no succession plans and whose collapse stands to materially harm large numbers of people tells us that something has to be done about this.

Take 23andme, the creepy genomics company that enticed millions of people into sending them their genetic material (even if you aren't a 23andme customer, they probably have most of your genome, thanks to relatives who sent in cheek-swabs). 23andme is now bankrupt, and its bankruptcy estate is shopping for a buyer who'd like to commercially exploit all that juicy genetic data, even if that is to the detriment of the people it came from. What's more, the bankruptcy estate is refusing to destroy samples from people who want to opt out of this future sale:

https://bourniquelaw.com/2024/10/09/data-23-and-me/

On a smaller scale, there's Juicebox, a company that makes EV chargers, who are exiting the North American market and shutting down their servers, killing the advanced functionality that customers paid extra for when they chose a Juicebox product:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/10/2/24260316/juicebox-ev-chargers-enel-x-way-closing-discontinued-app

I actually owned a Juicebox, which ultimately caught fire and melted down, either due to a manufacturing defect or to the criminal ineptitude of Treeium, the worst solar installers in Southern California (or both):

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/27/here-comes-the-sun-king/#sign-here

Projects like Juice Rescue are trying to reverse-engineer the Juicebox server infrastructure and build an alternative:

https://juice-rescue.org/

This would be much simpler if Juicebox's manufacturer, Enel X Way, had been required to file a living will that explained how its customers would go on enjoying their property when and if the company discontinued support, exited the market, or went bankrupt.

That might be a big lift for every little tech startup (though it would be superior than trying to get justice after the company fails). But in regulated sectors like automotive manufacture or genomic analysis, a regulation that says, "Either design your products and services to fail safely, or escrow enough cash to keep the lights on for the duration of an orderly wind-down in the event that you shut down" would be perfectly reasonable. Companies could make "software based cars" but the more "software based" the car was, the more funds they'd have to escrow to transition their servers when they shut down (and the less capital they'd have to build the car).

Such a rule should be in addition to more muscular rules simply banning the most abusive practices, like the Oregon state Right to Repair bill, which bans the "parts pairing" that makes repairing a Fisker car so onerous:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/3/27/24097042/right-to-repair-law-oregon-sb1596-parts-pairing-tina-kotek-signed

Or the Illinois state biometric privacy law, which strictly limits the use of the kind of genomic data that 23andme collected:

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs3.asp?ActID=3004

Failing to take action on these abusive practices is dangerous – and not just to the people who get burned by them. Every time a genomics research project turns into a privacy nightmare, that salts the earth for future medical research, making it much harder to conduct population-scale research, which can be carried out in privacy-preserving ways, and which pays huge scientific dividends that we all benefit from:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/01/the-palantir-will-see-you-now/#public-private-partnership

Just as Fisker's outrageous ripoff will make life harder for good cleantech companies:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps

If people are convinced that new, climate-friendly tech is a cesspool of grift and extraction, it will punish those firms that are making breathtaking, exciting (and extremely vital) breakthroughs:

https://www.euronews.com/green/2024/10/08/norways-national-football-stadium-has-the-worlds-largest-vertical-solar-roof-how-does-it-w


Hey look at this (permalink)



A Wayback Machine banner.

This day in history (permalink)

#15yrsago Hallowe’en is safe https://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/goodbye-halloween-hello-safety/

#15yrsago Big Entertainment’s century-long technophobic binge https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2009/10/100-years-of-big-content-fearing-technologyin-its-own-words/

#10yrsago Laura Poitras’s Citizenfour: the real story of Edward Snowden https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/nyff-edward-snowden-doc-citizenfour-740060/

#10yrsago There’s no back door that only works for good guys https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/oct/09/crypto-wars-redux-why-the-fbis-desire-to-unlock-your-private-life-must-be-resisted

#10yrsago Buzz Lightyear cited in legal brief https://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/10/how-to-cite-buzz-lightyear.html

#5yrsago Bruce Schneier makes the case for “public interest technologists” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2jn4pXDZn0

#5yrsago Computer historians crack passwords of Unix’s early pioneers https://inbox.vuxu.org/tuhs/87bluxpqy0.fsf@vuxu.org/

#5yrsago Apple’s capitulation over Hong Kong protest app isn’t new; and the NBA is racing it to the bottom https://memex.craphound.com/2019/10/10/apples-capitulation-over-hong-kong-protest-app-isnt-new-and-the-nba-is-racing-it-to-the-bottom/

#5yrsago The Sacklers come to Sesame Street as a muppet is revealed to have had an addicted mother https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news-other-healthcare/465124-sesame-street-to-reveal-muppets-mom-suffered/

#5yrsago Verizon dumps another Oath property for peanuts: RIP, Mapquest https://searchengineland.com/a-eulogy-for-mapquest-322945

#5yrsago Hiding secrets in online text with zero-width characters https://web.archive.org/web/20200516062538/https://git.planetrenox.com/inzerosight/browser-extension

#5yrsago Ikea’s founder was a Nazi, and never stopped praising the Nazi leader he called “Best Brother” https://lithub.com/on-the-far-right-past-of-ingvar-kamprad-founder-of-ikea/

#5yrsago Kelly Link and Gavin Grant have bought a bookstore! https://www.bookweb.org/news/author-kelly-link-gavin-j-grant-open-book-moon-easthampton-massachusetts-574432

#5yrsago Part two of my novella “Martian Chronicles” on Escape Pod: who cleans the toilets in libertopia? https://escapepod.org/2019/10/10/escape-pod-701-martian-chronicles-part-2/

#5yrsago ​13 years later, World of Warcraft is STILL telling queer guilds they’re not allowed to advertise their queerness https://memex.craphound.com/2019/10/11/%E2%80%8B13-years-later-world-of-warcraft-is-still-telling-queer-guilds-theyre-not-allowed-to-advertise-their-queerness/

#5yrsago Fatboy Slim mashes up Greta Thunberg’s UN speech https://twitter.com/Independent/status/1181950192960131074

#1yrago Stellantis wants to make scabbing woke https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/11/equal-opportunity-class-war/#inclusive-scabbing

#1yrago Underground Empire: Henry Farrell and Abraham Newman's must-read account of "How America Weaponized the World Economy" https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/10/weaponized-interdependence/#the-other-swifties


Upcoming appearances (permalink)

A photo of me onstage, giving a speech, holding a mic.



A screenshot of me at my desk, doing a livecast.

Recent appearances (permalink)



A grid of my books with Will Stahle covers..

Latest books (permalink)



A cardboard book box with the Macmillan logo.

Upcoming books (permalink)

  • Picks and Shovels: a sequel to "Red Team Blues," about the heroic era of the PC, Tor Books, February 2025
  • Unauthorized Bread: a middle-grades graphic novel adapted from my novella about refugees, toasters and DRM, FirstSecond, 2025



Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources:

Currently writing:

  • Enshittification: a nonfiction book about platform decay for Farrar, Straus, Giroux. Today's progress: 840 words (61666 words total).
  • A Little Brother short story about DIY insulin PLANNING

  • Picks and Shovels, a Martin Hench noir thriller about the heroic era of the PC. FORTHCOMING TOR BOOKS FEB 2025

Latest podcast: Spill, part one (a Little Brother story) https://craphound.com/littlebrother/2024/10/06/spill-part-one-a-little-brother-story/


This work – excluding any serialized fiction – is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. That means you can use it any way you like, including commercially, provided that you attribute it to me, Cory Doctorow, and include a link to pluralistic.net.

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"When life gives you SARS, you make sarsaparilla" -Joey "Accordion Guy" DeVilla

11 Oct 12:55

The FBI Has Apparently Spent A Year Trying To Crack NYC Mayor Eric Adams’ Personal Phone

by Tim Cushing

The spectacular collapse of the Mayor Adams’ administration is still in progress. Pretty much everyone with ties to the ex-cop, current mayor has either been informed of an ongoing investigation or managed to infer that following multiple raids by the FBI.

The mayor’s handpicked police commissioner, Edward Caban, resigned shortly after these raids occurred, most likely because he was on the receiving end of one of these raids. So were First Deputy Mayor Sheena Wright, Deputy Mayor for Public Safety Phil Banks, Phil Banks’ brother, David Banks, who is the schools chancellor, and Timothy Pearson, the mayor’s adviser.

Edward Caban issued a “get out of accountability free” missive to the NYPD as he left the building. He was replaced by former FBI Special Agent Michael Donlon… whose own house was also raided by the FBI.

In the middle of all this raiding and resigning, the Mayor’s PR people came forward to say the mayor was shocked, shocked! to discover there might be some sort of corruption-laden city government with himself at the center of all of it. The issued statement wasn’t quite the exoneration it was meant to be:

“As a former member of law enforcement, the mayor has repeatedly made clear that all members of the team need to follow the law.”

You know who doesn’t have to say that kind of thing repeatedly? Someone who oversees a bunch of people who have expressed no interest nor engaged in acts that might potentially violate the law. No honest politician/advisor/political appointee/police chief needs to be “repeatedly” reminded to “follow the law.” It just comes naturally to most people.

But Mayor Adams’ people are not most people. A lot of them are also former cops. Perhaps that explains all the corruption.

Mayor Adams himself isn’t immune to this ongoing investigation. In fact, he experienced his own personal raid a year before the onslaught of recent raids that have made headlines around the nation. Now that the mayor is under indictment, court filings are starting to expose a lot of details that were deliberately kept out of public view as the FBI engaged in its investigation.

One of those details is the fact that the FBI executed a search warrant targeting multiple phones used by Mayor Adams. However, his personal phone was not among those seized. A subpoena was issued ordering the mayor to turn over his personal phone (which is alleged to be the device the mayor used to “communicate about the conduct described in this indictment”). Mayor Adams complied. Sort of. He gave the FBI his phone. What he didn’t give the FBI was a way to see the phone’s contents, according to this report by Gaby Del Valle for The Verge.

When Adams turned in his personal cellphone the following day, charging documents say, he said he had changed the password a day prior — after learning about the investigation — and couldn’t remember it.

Sure looks like an attempt to withhold and/or destroy evidence. The fact that this happened the day after the FBI seized the mayor’s other phones isn’t going to work out well for him in court. His excuse — that he couldn’t remember it — is no more believable than his office’s assertion that everyone engaged in legal behavior because they were repeatedly told not to violate the law.

But both of those statements are far more believable than the mayor’s explanation of the post-FBI visit password changing:

Adams told investigators he changed the password “to prevent members of his staff from inadvertently or intentionally deleting the contents of his phone,” the indictment alleges.

LOL

Keep in mind, this was the mayor’s personal phone. Pretending staffers had routine and easy access to it or its contents beggars belief. And the simplest way to prevent staffers from “accidentally” deleting evidence of alleged criminal actions would be to maintain possession of the phone on your person or throw it in a safe or lock it in a desk drawer or do literally anything other than change a password and immediately “forget” what it was.

Again, none of this is going to reflect well on the mayor as he faces these charges in court. Any judge will see it the way the rest of us see it: a deliberate attempt to thwart a federal investigation.

Even so, let’s hope this doesn’t result in any stupid precedent motivated by the mayor’s apparently willful attempt to obstruct this investigation. There’s some potential here for rulings that might negatively affect Fifth Amendment rights and/or give the feds leverage to agitate for compelled assistance from phone manufacturers.

Because there’s a chance it might do any of these things. The FBI has had the phone for a long time. And it still hasn’t managed to access its contents. The FBI insists (without supporting evidence, obviously) that this is a BIG DEAL that might BREAK THE CASE.

During a federal court hearing, prosecutor Hagan Scotten said the FBI’s inability to get into Adams’ phone is a “significant wild card,” according to a report from the New York Post.

I want to believe that might be true. But only because I want the feds to deliver a ton of incriminating evidence that takes down Mayor Adams and anyone else in his administration who engaged in corruption. On the other hand, the FBI always claims any phone it can’t get into must be loaded with incriminating evidence capable of producing slam-dunk prosecutions. The FBI’s anti-encryption agitation relies on its fervent belief that the best and most incriminating evidence is always found on encrypted devices, therefore courts should force companies (or accused persons) to decrypt the contents so special agents can open and close investigations without ever leaving their desks.

I’m definitely here for the fallout. I’m guessing these raids will lead to a string of resignations, a cooperating witness or two, and a few wrist slaps for ex-law enforcement officials. But if someone’s going to burn for this, it should be the person at the top of the city food chain. And as much as I’d like to see that happen, I’d much rather it was accomplished without collateral damage to Ccnstitutional rights or the security and privacy provided by strong encryption.

10 Oct 20:10

Cloudflare Destroys Another Patent Troll, Gets Its Patents Released To The Public

by Mike Masnick

Three years ago, we updated Vizzini’s list of “classic blunders” from The Princess Bride to include “never try to patent troll Cloudflare.” That was when the company announced that patent troll Sable Networks had made that mistake and now needed to be taught a lesson. That lesson is now complete, and Cloudflare has successfully destroyed a patent troll (and embarrassed it along the way) so much that the troll has agreed to declare its entire patent portfolio open and free for the public to use.

First, some history: over a decade ago, the e-commerce site Newegg was getting sick of patent trolls and decided that it needed to take a “never settle” approach to fighting them. The thing with patent trolling is that it’s asymmetric warfare. Trolls get low quality patents and then shake down companies, knowing that it’s cheaper to just pay some smaller amount to settle than to take the matter to court and win. But, as Newegg’s leadership surmised at the time, settling only leads to more patent trolls and more shake down payments. Making it clear you’ll never ever settle (and being very public about that) should eventually lead patent trolls to look elsewhere.

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Since then, a few other companies have embraced this strategy, but none has done so with quite the same gusto, zeal, and commitment to absolutely crushing the souls of patent trolls as Cloudflare.

In 2017, Cloudflare announced its plan to completely destroy a patent trolling firm, Blackbird. It launched something it called Project Jengo, which offered up rewards to anyone helping them to completely obliterate Blackbird’s patents. The campaign was a huge success. Cloudflare won in court (and on appeal) and it appeared it greatly limited Blackbird’s ability to keep trolling.

Sable Networks didn’t bother to educate itself on this before trying its trolling efforts on Cloudflare. Cloudflare opened up the same playbook on Sable (owners of a bunch of old terrible Caspian Networks patents that it bought for a song). Cloudflare fought back and won in court earlier this year.

And it wasn’t just a “you didn’t infringe” kind of win. They actually got a jury to invalidate the patent at issue (the lawsuit had started with many claims over multiple patents, but by the time it went to trial, it had been narrowed down to one claim on one patent, and Sable couldn’t even make that one stick).

Juries very rarely invalidate patents. They are much, much, much more primed to believe that any patent is legit and not realize how many junk patents there are. They also are generally unaware of patent trolling and abusive behaviors by patent trolls that amount to little more than extortion. But here, the jury was convinced that the patent was bogus:

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Perhaps it was because Cloudflare dug in during the trial and made Sable look like the extortionate troll it is. From the transcript, you see that Cloudflare’s lawyers got Sable to admit that its only actual business was suing people:

Q. I mean, that’s your business. Let’s don’t beat around the bush. You’re in the business of filing lawsuits, true?

A. Yes.

Q. And you would agree with me that you’ve been in that business for a while, right?

A. Yes.

Also, Cloudflare got Sable to admit that it does little to no research before filing its lawsuits.

Q. You believe it would be responsible, reasonable business practice to sit down and talk to folks before you sue them, right?

A. Yes.

Q. You didn’t do that here, did you, sir?

A. No.

Q. And you don’t do that as your practice, right?

A. That’s correct.

Q. You told this jury not 20 minutes ago that you sue every time. You don’t talk to anybody. That’s what you told them, fair?

A. Fair.

Q. And what you stood up here and told this jury is everybody in this industry, including me, sues first and talks later, correct?

A. Correct.

Q. But that’s just not true, is it, sir? The responsible business people in this business actually sit down and talk to folks before they sue them, fair?

A. Fair.

Q. And you don’t do that, do you, sir?

A. No.

I mean, that’s a thing of beauty.

Anyway, beyond just winning the case, Cloudflare has gotten Sable to (1) pay Cloudflare $225k for having to defend this nonsense lawsuit and (2) much more importantly, agree to release its entire patent portfolio to the public for anyone to use so that Sable can never sue over them again:

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If you can’t see that screenshot from the agreement, it says:

DEDICATION TO THE PUBLIC OF THE SABLE PATENTS; ROYALTY FREE LICENSE AND RELEASE; PAYMENT BY SABLE TO CLOUDFLARE

2.1 Dedication To The Public Of The Sable Patents. Within twenty-one days of the Effective Date, the Sable Parties shall dedicate the Sable Patents to the public, including by filing and recording the appropriate document(s) and paying any applicable fee(s) with the United States Patent and Trademark Office pursuant to 35 U.S.C. § 253. For the avoidance of doubt, this Section 2.1 requires the Sable Parties to disclaim and dedicate to the public the entire term, or any terminal part of the term, of the Sable Patents granted or to be granted.

Now, I believe many of Sable’s patents are close to running out anyway. But still, what a huge victory, and one that should be celebrated. Cloudflare has truly gone past NewEgg’s “don’t settle” standard, to this impressive “don’t settle, and we will make you regret patent trolling, and do everything possible to stop you from ever patent trolling ever again, and we’ll make you feel bad too, because you deserve it.”

10 Oct 16:41

have you seen Halloween go wrong at work?

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m writing a column for later this month about the ways Halloween at work can go wrong and want to hear your stories.

Did your coworker get fired for refusing to remove his unicorn mask to get through security? Did your office put up decorations so grisly that they were traumatizing people? Did a coworker show up in a racist or otherwise offensive costume, or have to deliver bad news to a patient while dressed as a sexy Bridezilla? Did a colleague get fired for treat-or-treating in an important meeting?

Please share in the comment section!

10 Oct 16:33

Other Guy In Revolving Door Not Doing Shit To Help Move This Thing

by The Onion Staff

MANCHESTER, NH—Blasting the individual for barely shuffling his goddamn feet and not even touching the glass, area man Owen Hodges confirmed Thursday that the other guy in the revolving door wasn’t doing shit to help move the thing. “Why do I have to put in all the work while this fucking freeloader gets off easy?” said Hodges, adding that this asshole would be stuck there all day if Hodges weren’t going the extra mile. “No, no, I don’t mind pushing this heavy door all by myself so you can take a phone call—no, I don’t mind at all, dickhead.” Later, at the exact moment when a defiant Hodges began protesting the injustice by refusing to push any longer, the other guy reportedly exited the revolving door.

The post Other Guy In Revolving Door Not Doing Shit To Help Move This Thing appeared first on The Onion.

10 Oct 16:32

Biggest Supreme Court Cases To Watch

by The Onion Staff

This Monday, the Supreme Court kicked off  its new term. Here is a selection of some of the most consequential issues the court can be expected to rule on over the coming months.

  • Metabolic disease as proof of citizenship: The Supreme Court will be reviewing the constitutionality of a new Louisiana bill requiring voters to eat three pounds of refined sugars.
  • Fair lunchroom trade: Tackling a geopolitical issue, all eyes are on the justices whether a Doritos are a fair trade for PB&J.
  • Jimmy Carter: The court is likely to deny the ex-president’s most recent plea for death. 
  • What nation should have for dinner: Both sides of the political aisle are in a heated debate over Chinese v. Italian
  • Cowboys v. Giants: The nation’s highest court is expected to decide the Week 12 matchup.
  • Joy: The court will decide if subtle moments of unadulterated bliss are allowed to weave gently through your days.
  • Student loans: The court will rule whether or not everyone’s student loan debt should be doubled just because.
  • Bobby Flay v. Giada De Laurentiis: Food Network has enlisted the SCOTUS to determine which chef can cook up the most enticing spaghetti bolognese.
  • Whether Clarence Thomas is the specialist little guy in all the land: He is, but it won’t be official until it’s written in complicated legalese.

The post Biggest Supreme Court Cases To Watch appeared first on The Onion.

10 Oct 14:02

disgruntled ex-employee keeps contacting current staff, a toxic friend, and more

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Disgruntled ex-employee keeps contacting current employees

We had an employee, Lark, who served as a director in our business for about eight months. She chose to put in her notice and leave the company this summer. During her tenure, she repeatedly told several members of leadership that she was unhappy, looking for another role, and hoped we would just walk her out. She never said anything like this to me or my husband (the owners of the business).

At the end of the first week of her notice period, we told her that she seemed stressed and was dealing with a lot and she could just take the following week as paid vacation time and not return to the office.

After she left, we found out that she was routinely inserting herself into situations that a director should not have been in (such as sorting out daily tasks for entry-level employees) and was constantly telling people that she was the only one who got anything done and she was their “buddy” or “champion.” She never raised any of the issues she was supposedly advocating for in any management meetings.

Now that she has been gone for six weeks, we are hearing that she is regularly contacting current members of the management team to ask how project X is going or if they completed project Y — work-related issues that she has no business being involved in at this point. It is causing team members to mistrust senior leadership or not be honest with us.

She doesn’t work here, so what can we even do? Everything is hearsay right now because the people she’s contacting won’t show us the evidence (one told us before he quit, which is how we know). We need our team to see how toxic it is for any former leader to be inserting themselves into private business matters and undermining the leadership team. But we also know that if they don’t trust us and we tell them to stop sharing this information with people outside the company, it may give them more reason to mistrust us. What do we do with this toxic behavior?

This is bizarre! Why on earth is someone who no longer works there asking people whether they’ve completed specific tasks? It almost sounds like a continuation of the problems when she was there and wanted to be seen as everyone’s champion, and now that she’s gone she can’t let go of her identity as Extremely Involved … but it’s pretty wild to see that happen when she was only there for eight months, and it’s quite weird that the rest of your staff doesn’t find it odd.

In any case, it’s not strange or suspicious to remind employees that they can’t share internal info outside the company; that’s a very normal policy to have.

The fact that people don’t think it’s weird that a former employee is still inserting herself in this way makes me think that you might have deeper cultural issues than whatever’s up with Lark. The only way to solve this is to lean in hard to good management right now — meaning make sure managers are appropriately engaged with the work their teams are doing, hearing people out and ensuring people have opportunities for meaningful input that you take seriously, being as transparent about possible about decision-making, ensuring people are recognized and rewarded for good work, and otherwise demonstrating through your actions that you’re operating with integrity and openness. That’s the best counter to a toxic former employee like Lark who’s trying to undermine you — but it will take sustained commitment on your end to doing that.

Related:
my toxic former employee is still spreading negativity on my staff

2. When a toxic ex-BFF joins your company

This question is for a very dear friend of mine, Marlie. Marlie works in a very competitive industry. We are both still at the beginning of our careers and are close with a lot of friends from college. Marlie had a close college friend, Amanda, who she bonded with over their shared field and similar backgrounds. After college, they both landed jobs in major cities. They stayed in touch and traveled together, and I joined them on a few of these trips.

They had some personality clashes, but things really started to fall apart about a year ago during a vacation. Some of Amanda’ bad behavior included: not bringing her wallet and making us pay for most things (this happened almost every time we’d go out with her), lying and calling Marlie names behind her back, almost abandoning my friend when she decided to hook up with a guy my friend had expressed interest in (this has happened more than once), calling Marlie desperate and criticizing her taste in men, cursing us both out while drunk, and unfollowing Marlie on social media and leaving her texts on read.

Fast forward, Amanda lost her job a few months ago and has been searching for a new one. Meanwhile, Marlie is thriving in her job and is very happy. A few weeks ago, after a year of no contact, Amanda reached out asking for interview advice, as she’s interviewing for an open position at Marlie’s company. Marlie never responded.

The interview was last week, and there’s a real chance she’ll get the job. Marlie is nervous about the potential of Amanda joining her company and worried she will disrupt the positive work environment. They wouldn’t be on the same team, but she would still see her regularly. Amanda would also likely try to reconnect, especially given the social dynamics at the office. If Amanda gets the job, how should Marlie handle this situation? How can she maintain boundaries with minimal drama and questions from coworkers?

Polite professional distance.

Some behavior is bad enough that it would warrant Marlie talking to the hiring manager and sharing her experience with Amanda, but the stuff on this list doesn’t rise to that level. Amanda sounds like a bad friend and not someone you’d want to hang out with, but it’s all pretty solidly stuff that points to just not renewing the friendship rather than anything more.

If Amanda does get hired, Marlie should be polite but distant. If Amanda makes overtures to grab lunch or otherwise hang out, Marlie should politely decline, saying she’s too busy or so forth. If Amanda pushes the issue, Marlie might need to say, “I want nothing but the best for you, but I don’t think the friendship was good for either of us so I’d rather just be colleagues with different boundaries than we used to have.”

3. Are these interview red flags?

I’ve been interviewing for a new job for the past two months. I thought I had gone through the final round (with the head of HR and the managing director) and then was told last minute that there was one more interview with a senior member of the team, who sits across the country from where this position is based.

As soon as we got through the pleasantries, she proceeded to tell me that they had to fire the last person in the role, their name, the dates of their tenure, and the fact that they failed multiple performance improvement plans before they were let go. We work in a niche and small field. While I don’t happen to know this person who was fired, I very well could.

I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and it is giving me very serious pause about the role. Is this a major red flag? There were other parts of the conversation that were alarming to me, namely, that this person relayed very different information about the annual sales targets (she said they were three times what I had been told by HR), bragged about leaving for the office at 5 am in the morning during the summer months, and gave me conflicting information about the in-office expectations. More seriously, a job can be the wrong fit for any number of reasons, especially at this phase of my career and I would hate to think that if I decided to move on in a year or two, I would be badmouthed all over town about it.

Run. This is going to be a clusterfudge.

If it were just the discrepancy in the sales targets, I wouldn’t be so worried (as long as the numbers sounded reasonable to you) because HR often doesn’t have the nitty-gritty info about a job in the way a manager will. But all the rest of this = huge red flags.

4. My manager gave me her personal money for a work item I bought

My company has a $300 cost limit for a certain type of equipment, but the internal website said the limit could be overruled by higher management approval. My equipment was failing, and the cost for a new one of the exact same brand, specifications, etc. was about $315. My manager approved the purchase, as did her manager, so I purchased the equipment. My reimbursement request was rejected for going over the $300 limit. When my manager and her manager got involved, they were told by the expenses team that despite what the website said, there was in fact no way to go over the cost limit.

In the end, I was reimbursed $300 by the company, and my manager insisted on Venmo’ing the remaining $15 from her personal account, which she was not reimbursed for. I felt really uncomfortable taking her personal money when it was our company that caused the error, but she insisted. The expenses team also promised to update the website to make it more accurate. How should this have been handled?

The company should have covered the full $315 because it had been approved by your management in accordance with their written policies. They can update the policy, sure, but your manager shouldn’t lose her own money because a written policy was inaccurate. (And really, $15? That’s a de minimis amount for your company to eat in the interests of staff morale.)

Don’t feel weird about taking your manager’s $15, though; I’m sure she would have felt far worse if you were the one out the money because of what happened and she probably felt partially responsible. I would have wanted to cover it myself too.

5. Starburst curation

My office has a communal candy dish that includes the little two-packs of Starbursts. A coworker has taken to opening these packets, eating only the Starburst flavors they like (pink and orange), and leaving the remaining Starburst squares (red and yellow) behind for others. On the one hand, this strikes me as absolutely unhinged behavior. On the other hand, this unhinged behavior means I also have a whole slew of red Starbursts (my favorite) at my disposal, without even having to gamble for them. Am I obligated to say anything about this behavior, for the greater good? Or, with two Starburst-happy employees in balance, am I in the clear to continue letting crime pay?

I’m not sure there’s anything unhinged happening here! If your coworker is opening all the packages and removing the pink and orange Starbursts so there are none for anyone else, then yes, this is boorish behavior. But if they’re just taking a reasonable amount of candy and putting back the individually wrapped ones they don’t like so someone else can have them, this is what top minds consider a classic win/win.

Either way, you are under no obligation to speak up and may continue enjoying the red cast-offs without qualms.

10 Oct 13:55

270 Reasons: Because the American Experiment Is on the Defensive

by Percival Everett

Our friends at 270 reasons.com are gathering a polyphonic orchestra of brilliant writers, teachers, doctors, filmmakers, artists, and citizens of all kinds to weigh in about their plans to vote this November. These opinion essays run the gamut from advocacy for basic human rights to acutely personal mini-manifestoes. Read the rest over at 270 reasons.com.

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Because the American Experiment
Is on the Defensive
by Percival Everett

I am plenty impressed by Kamala Harris and her ideas. It is a shame that she is running against someone who makes a positive vote for her more a negative vote against something else. The American experiment is on the defensive. Yes, we hear so many people saying that the election of Trump would be a danger to democracy. They are, of course, correct. My fear is deeper. Even if our processes and governmental structure survive, we will have been made worse by the normalizing of ignorance and selfishness. It has been frustrating to watch a media that does not call stupidity what it is or point out the self-serving actions of the past president who is seeking office again. We would be naïve to not recognize that some people in the world are either unwilling to do the hard work of thinking through problems with an eye toward the greater good or incapable of doing so. What is at stake in this election is our national IQ.

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Percival Everett is an American writer and Distinguished Professor of English at USC.

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Read more essays (with new ones added every day) at 270reasons.com.

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The arguments here represent the opinion of the author and not necessarily those of the McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.

10 Oct 00:15

Texas Is Taking Back the State Highway 288 Tollway—at a Steep Price

by Josephine Lee

The Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT) is set to take back ownership of the State Highway 288 tollway, one of the state’s most expensive privately built toll roads, which connects Houston to its southern suburbs. This action will terminate a 52-year agreement, originally set to end in 2068, for the Blueridge Transportation Group (BTG) to build and operate the tollway—a 10-mile stretch running from an intersection just south of downtown Houston to the Brazoria/Harris County line—that was built in the median of the publicly owned State Highway 288.

The buyback comes with a hefty price tag. 

BTG, a consortium of international private infrastructure development firms, paid up-front for about a third of the billion-dollar tollway construction project, with the remaining two-thirds coming primarily through federal and state-backed debt. TxDOT is exercising a right to retake the tollway enshrined in the original agreement, but doing so requires paying BTG some $1.7 billion—on top of what the firms already raked in through tolls, construction contracts and selling shares in the project. The money from TxDOT will more than cover the $650 million debt that BTG still owes.

But Texas taxpayers and drivers will be left holding the bag, paying off the tollway for many years to come. In May, TxDOT formed the Texas Transportation Finance Corporation in order to take out a loan of $1.7 billion from TxDOT to acquire the tollway—with the plan of paying back the debt with future toll revenues. 

The 288 toll road has long been controversial—in no small part because of its high cost both in terms of fees and human lives. Since the tollway opened in November 2020, toll rates have increased by more than 160 percent, going from $11 for the full 20-mile round trip during peak hours to $29 dollars now. 

“We’re trying to get in a position where we can control that and have more reasonable rates.”

Last November, the Texas Observer revealed how the state allowed BTG to profit from the 288 tollway at the expense of both drivers forced to pay exorbitant rates and construction workers who were injured, or died building the tollway. Twenty-one-year-old Juan Simental fell 85 feet to his death in June 2019 after his employers failed to provide the appropriate safety lanyard. Dozens of other workers experienced severe injuries, reporting that there was no one monitoring safety conditions, no flagger or spotter, and no safety training. 

TxDOT rejected BTG’s offer to renegotiate the contract. In an August press release, Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick said, “We will provide meaningful relief for Texas drivers along this corridor. Securing a more than $4 billion asset for just $1.7 billion will not only benefit Texas drivers, it will also enable TxDOT to continue investing in and advancing crucial roadway projects across the state.” Patrick did not respond to requests for an interview for this story.

Texas Transportation Commission Chairman Bruce Bugg Jr. called the buyback “a big win for taxpayers,” stating in the press release that the buyback would allow the agency to cut rates by half “as soon as possible” and add more free lanes. SH 288, also known as the South Freeway, is a major hurricane evacuation route, and some exits serve the Museum District and the Texas Medical Center.

TxDOT inked its original agreement in 2016 with BTG, which consisted at the time of six equity members including ACS Group (based in Spain), Shikun & Binui (Israel), and InfraRed Capital Partners (Britain). Last year, ACS Group acquired BTG in its entirety. 

In response to the Observer’s request for comment, BTG spokesperson Alan Goss said, “We are deeply disappointed by TxDOT’s decision to expedite the purchase of the SH-288 toll road without fully considering the significant concessions we offered for motorists.” 

The companies have already profited handsomely from the tollway mainly through deals with their construction subsidiaries and through toll revenues. In annual reports, ACS Group reported the tollway earned $74 million in 2022 and $97 million in 2023, though BTG has refused to disclose its entire take. Based on invoices obtained by the Observer, during construction from 2016 to 2020, BTG paid $815 million to subsidiaries of the same firms—Dragados USA and Pulice Construction, owned by ACS Group, and Shikun & Binui America, the three of which formed a joint venture called Almeda Genoa Constructors. 

Despite reports of construction-related deaths and injuries related to Almeda Genoa Constructors, the venture continued to receive new TxDOT contracts, now totaling at least $4.9 billion for at least 24 projects since 2016, according to state records.

Even with all those profits, the equity firms making up BTG have so far repaid little of their debts, some of which were financed by public agencies and taxpayers, according to credit reports and experts interviewed by the Observer. For the $1.1 billion-construction phase, TxDOT contributed $17.1 million to the 288 tollway project, the U.S. Department of Transportation loaned $357 million to the companies under the Transportation Infrastructure Finance and Innovation Act (TIFIA), and the Texas Private Activity Bond Surface Transportation Corporation, a finance arm of TxDOT, issued a $273 million tax-exempt private activity bond to BTG. 

Sandro Scenga, a spokesperson for the national credit rating agency Fitch Ratings, told the Observer that BTG still owes all $273 million in bonds and $378 million on the TIFIA loan, which is anticipated to be paid off after the company receives compensation from TxDOT for the early termination of the agreement. 

Between August 2022 and March 2023, ACS Group bought out the five other BTG equity partners, generating hundreds of millions in profits for those companies. Then, last December, ACS Group sold a 57 percent stake in BTG for $1.5 billion to Abertis, a company that is half owned by ACS Group. The move generated $200 million in capital gains, according to ACS Group’s 2023 annual report.

In an interview, Rosemary Batt, professor at the Cornell University School of Industrial and Labor Relations and author of Private Equity at Work: When Wall Street Manages Main Street, explained that ACS Group operated the tollway like most private equity firms operate any company: invest a scant amount, accumulate debts, and siphon as much profit as possible before getting out without assuming liability for the company’s long-term debt. 

“The debt is leveraged on the company, and then they try to recoup the money in about a five-year period,” Batt said, adding that private equity companies generally invest little to get a higher rate of return when they sell. “If I buy something for 100 million and then sell it later for 200, then my return on my own equity is two to one, right? But if I only put in 50 and then I sell it for 200, my reported return on equity is four to one.” 

Unlike public corporations which generally operate companies with about 70 percent equity and 30 percent debt, the ratios are typically reversed for private equity companies, Batt writes in her book. 

Batt said that ACS Group most likely bought and sold 288 tollway shares so it could return more earnings to shareholders within the typical five-year funding cycle. “It may be because they waited until year seven, a company might be more valuable and they would get higher returns, which would go to the investors. But if they need to sell something in year five, they sell it often to another private equity firm. So there’s a lot of horse trading that happens.”

Seemingly, months before the Texas Transportation Commission decided to initiate the process to terminate the tollway lease, ACS Group was already on its way out. At the end of 2023, ACS Group announced to its shareholders it would be selling off another 22 percent of its shares. 

The Spanish firm has constructed and operated more than 130 public-private infrastructure  projects worldwide since 1967. It took in a net profit of $867 million last year, and its largest market now is in North America. 

ACS Group did not respond to a request for comment for this story by publication time and has previously referred requests about the 288 tollway to BTG.

These days, private-public partnership tollways have fallen out of favor with Texans. The SH 288 tollway was the last from former Texas Governor Rick Perry’s initiative to build private tollways statewide. Others included the LBJ-635 Express Corridor, the North Tarrant Express, and State Highway 130 in Central Texas. 

GOP state Senator Robert Nichols told the Observer that TxDOT turned to leasing out public highways for private tollways when the state did not have enough revenues to build new roads. Now, the situation is different, he says. “Now that we’ve got money to build highways … we’re kind of getting away from that. We’re trying to get in a position where we can control that and have more reasonable rates.”

In 2013, Nichols carried a bill to limit the state toll road buyback price to a set amount based on the number of contract years elapsed instead of market rate. That bill became law; otherwise, TxDOT would be paying much more than $1.7 billion to buy back the 288 tollway today. 

TxDOT did not respond to the Observer’s question about whether the Texas Transportation Finance Corporation, newly formed to engage in the “acquisition, construction, maintenance, or operation of a toll facility,” will be buying back any other privately owned tollways around the state. 

The post Texas Is Taking Back the State Highway 288 Tollway—at a Steep Price appeared first on The Texas Observer.

10 Oct 00:06

Leaked Transcript of the Secret Meeting Where Democrats Control the Weather

by Carlos Greaves

“Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has doubled down on her allegation that an unspecified ‘they’ can control the weather, a claim that has sparked a backlash online.” – Newsweek, 10/6/24

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In the basement of the Ben and Jerry’s factory in Waterbury, Vermont, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi addresses her fellow globalist cabal leaders. In the room with her are George Soros, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Al Gore, and Taylor Swift.

NANCY PELOSI: Good evening, fellow shady elites. Before we discuss the main topic on tonight’s agenda, let’s hear a quick status update from each election interference subcommittee chair. George?

GEORGE SOROS: I’ve been in touch with the head of Dominion Voting Systems to once again rig the election in that super secret way that’s completely undetectable and works seamlessly across the different voting technologies used in the various swing states.

PELOSI: Wonderful. It’s a shame we can’t use that same technology to rig down-ballot races. Oh well. Oprah?

OPRAH WINFREY: Convicts for Kamala has been an unmitigated success. The thousands of cartel-affiliated migrants we’ve been putting up at Ritz-Carlton hotels in swing state cities like Detroit, Milwaukee, and Philadelphia will ensure that the Blue Wall stays blue. It’s such a cheap and practical plan.

PELOSI: Excellent. Taylor?

TAYLOR SWIFT: As you all know by how well the Chiefs are doing, Roger Goodell is now in my pocket, so it’s only a matter of time before the NFL endorses Kamala.

PELOSI: Lovely. Now, onto tonight’s business. Al has spent the last two decades spreading the climate change myth in order to pave the way for our most devious scheme yet.

AL GORE: All it took was convincing 97 percent of the world’s leading atmospheric scientists to risk their careers by fabricating decades of climate data for no discernible personal gain. Easy peasy.

PELOSI: Yes. And now, between those falsified studies and the space-laser-induced wildfires, Americans finally believe that the climate is getting more extreme. This means they are perfectly primed to accept Operation FloodGates as another consequence of anthropogenic climate change. Bill, where do we stand on the latest atmospheric anomaly?

BILL GATES: I’m pleased to report that we have successfully seeded a low-pressure system in the western Caribbean. In four days, the system will make landfall in Florida as a powerful category 4 hurricane before heading up through Georgia, the Carolinas, and Tennessee. We anticipate a devastating storm surge and catastrophic flooding.

The members of the cabal erupt into raucous cheering.

PELOSI: Stupendous! Nothing will help the Democratic party steal this election better than a horrific natural disaster that the Biden-Harris administration will be under intense scrutiny to respond to effectively.

Taylor Swift steps forward.

SWIFT: Your Wickedness, may I be so bold as to ask how this hurricane will help us?

PELOSI: By flooding rural areas in two crucial swing states, of course.

SWIFT: But, Your Utmost Foulness, wouldn’t such a widespread storm also flood liberal enclaves like, say, Asheville, North Carolina?

WINFREY (to Taylor): You dare question the infinite wisdom of Her Unholy Depravity?

PELOSI (to Oprah): I will forgive her insolence only because she is new in the ways of The Cabal.

PELOSI (to Taylor): Rest assured, my pet, a catastrophic hurricane is exactly what we need right now. Just think of how popular George Bush was after Hurricane Katrina.

Taylor Swift pauses to consider this, then speaks up again.

SWIFT: Not to keep harping on this, Your Gracelessness, but if we can summon category 4 hurricanes, couldn’t we also summon small, localized rainstorms on Election Day to strategically flood voting sites in rural counties that went overwhelmingly for Trump? Or couldn’t we just take out Donald Trump by summoning a tornado at his next outdoor rally?

PELOSI: Your ignorance is astonishing, young succubus. How would an untraceable freak weather accident be politically expedient? It is far more effective to keep sending a series of poorly trained lone gunmen. That will draw far less scrutiny than a seemingly random act of nature.

SWIFT: I suppose that makes sense.

PELOSI: Good. So, Bill, what’s next after this hurricane?

GATES: My team is working on a category 5 hurricane that will flatten much of Florida and create a second disaster for Biden and Harris to respond to.

PELOSI: If there’s one government agency that Americans love and trust and want to think more about and will vote for whichever party is running it, it’s FEMA. This calls for a celebration.

Nancy Pelosi pours goblets full of children’s blood for each of the cabal members.

PELOSI: To President Harris!

The cabal members down their glasses, then hop onto the secret high-speed train that runs between the Ben and Jerry’s factory and Washington, DC.

09 Oct 19:02

my abusive father is a beloved public figure — and we have to attend an event together

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I’m estranged from my father, who was a truly terrible emotional abuser — maybe physical too, if you consider “kick child out of car for turning the volume down during a good song so now he has to walk home along the highway for an hour” child endangerment. We haven’t spoken in years. However, he is a beloved public figure — real national treasure, strangers recognize him on the street.

I get a lot of people, including my coworkers or industry contacts, coming up to me, delighted, wanting to send him regards. Many have some kind of connection to him from years ago.

Once I tried saying “actually, we’re estranged” and I may as well have thrown ice water over the lady. It’s a lot to drop on an unsuspecting fan. But I find it infuriating that when I quickly change the subject, I am coming across as cold and blunt. Feels like my reputation takes an unfair hit no matter what I say.

Here’s the real problem. What should I do about the huge upcoming awards evening where, irony upon irony, we are BOTH finalists (in different categories)? The organizers and media will love the “look, father and son!” angle, mention it on stage, want to take a pic, etc.

I refuse to take a picture or share a table with him. But emailing the organizers may frame me as the drama-stirrer attacking a famous man’s spotless reputation. I suppose I could miss the event. But why should I have to? This is all so unfair. Any suggestions?

I’m so sorry, what an awful situation. It’s bad enough to have an abusive family member; it adds a whole additional layer of trauma when the world loves the person, doesn’t see who they really are, and thinks you’re incredibly lucky to be associated with them.

The onus is not on you to find a way to make this comfortable for other people. You should do what you’re most comfortable with, which means that you don’t need to hide who your father is if you’d prefer not to. But if it’s most comfortable for you to keep things low-key, one line you could try in social situations is “We’re not close.” Or, “We’ve never been close.” That says quite a bit without going all the way to “we’re estranged.”

For the upcoming awards event: Would you be comfortable contacting the organizers and saying, “My father and I aren’t close and I would like to sit at a different table from him”? You could also say, “I’m requesting that you not plan any joint photos” if you’re concerned about that. In fact, if you have an agent or other rep, this is something they can and should handle for you, and can probably do it with a reasonable amount of delicacy.

I wonder too, if you can bring a guest who will run interference for you — someone who will keep an eye on where your father is and steer you away from him if needed and so forth. You should also decide ahead of time how you’ll respond if you’re asked to do a joint photo so that you’re not having to come up with a response on the fly. One option is a brisk, “No thanks!” You don’t need to explain why, and if people draw their own conclusions, so be it.

None of this should come across as you being a drama-stirrer trying to besmirch a famous man’s reputation. You’ll just be calmly and non-dramatically conveying your boundaries without any commentary on him.

I think you’re worried that there’s no way to maintain these boundaries without revealing your feelings about your father; you feel like the requests themselves will reveal all, because of what you know they’re rooted in. But remember that families are complicated in so many different ways, and a much less fraught situation could lead to someone making these requests too.

09 Oct 17:27

Houston’s forecast has not changed much, so let’s talk about weather control

by Eric Berger

In brief: Today’s post discusses our current cool front, and even stronger front next week, and when we might finally see some rain. We also discuss the recent controversy over “weather control” in regard to hurricanes Helene and Milton. Finally, there’s a link to vote for us as “Houstonians of the year.”

A few words about weather control

Before we get into the forecast—and there is a treat in the outlook for next week, with a nice front that should finally put the cool in cool front—I feel compelled to address the rise of misinformation spreading online about weather control. This problem has become especially acute in light of the terrible inland flooding from Hurricane Helene last month, and the impending landfall of what surely will be a highly catastrophic Hurricane Milton.

If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, Wired has a good rundown on some of these conspiracy theories. Essentially the claim is that, for political reasons, the US government is manipulating the weather to harm its political opponents. I want to be absolutely clear about this: Space City Weather is apolitical. We never talk politics because, frankly, no one cares what our politics are. The weather certainly doesn’t care. The sole point of this post is to address the question of whether weather control is possible, and if it is happening.

It is true that people have been trying to control the weather for a long time, for various reasons. The most prominent form of weather control is cloud seeding, in which aircraft introduce silver iodide into clouds to act as nuclei, and serve as a basis for condensation. This can lead to rain or snow. However, the best available evidence suggests the impact of cloud seeding is limited, perhaps increasing precipitation by 10 percent or so in optimal conditions.

Now comes the important part: There was no cloud seeding during Hurricane Helene, which produced extreme flooding well inland. None. Why would there be? It is in no one’s interest to increase the precipitation from a tropical system. Yes, there are government planes flying into storms. But those are NOAA hurricane hunters, gathering data about the storm to better inform you, and protect those in harm’s way. That is your government, working for you.

And what if they were cloud seeding? Because hurricanes are so large, any attempt to implement cloud seeding would be negligible. As for trying to modify where a tropical cyclone will go, there is no conceivable mechanism to do that. When we consider the steering currents that guide storms, we are talking about atmospheric forces that span continents, with energies that far surpass what humans can generate. If you tried to take our most powerful nuclear weapons and drop them in a hurricane to disrupt their movement, all you would do is spread harmful radiation.

Map showing the track of all tropical storms that passed within 200 miles of Milton’s formation point. Florida landfalls from this location are rare, but far from unprecedented. (NOAA)

Some people have questioned the movement of Milton, from west to east, across the Gulf of Mexico. That certainly looks strange, doesn’t it? Well, sure. But weather does strange things all the time. The movement of a hurricane from west to east across the Gulf of Mexico is not unprecedented, and in this case the meteorological reasons for Milton’s movement are well understood. The track of Milton was predicted many days in advance by weather models from organizations around the world. Are they all in on the game? Let’s be real. There is nothing artificial about the storm’s track.

In our comments yesterday, some readers asked about “chemtrails” or the “High-frequency Active Auroral Research Program” being used to modify or influence the weather. The bottom line is that no, this is not happening, and if someone nefarious wanted to use them to influence our weather, these kinds of interventions would be ineffective.

Here’s the bottom line. There are plenty of places on the internet where one find this sort of conspiracy-fueled nonsense. You can find “videos” to support almost anything, or “do your own research” and come to whatever conclusions you like. But Space City Weather is a website driven by evidence, and the best available science. If your intent is to weaponize misinformation about the weather, you’re not welcome here. All you are doing is making a miserable experience for people affected by hurricanes worse.

We have no agenda here but to try and put out the most accurate forecasts possible. That is the sole reason we show up every day. If Matt and I saw the weather behaving in an artificial way, we would be shouting from the rooftops. But it’s not. Helene and Milton are powerful hurricanes doing very bad things. A busy and destructive hurricane season was forecast this past spring, partly because the Atlantic Ocean is so very warm due to a warming climate. Unfortunately, that’s what we’re seeing play out.

It’s a cool morning for much of the northern two thirds of Texas. (Weather Bell)

Wednesday

Houston’s low temperature has fallen below 60 degrees this morning for the first time since April 23, which is 169 days ago. It’s been a long time since it has felt ‘crisp’ outside, but it does feel that way across much of the region this morning. With dewpoints in the 40s, the air feels mighty fine. This is our region’s coldest morning of the week, and probably our driest day in terms of humidity, but we’re not going back to sultry weather any time soon. Highs today will reach the upper 80s, with light northerly winds and sunny skies. Lows tonight will drop into the lower 60s for most of Houston, with outlying areas probably reaching the upper 50s again.

Thursday and Friday

Sunshine prevails, with fairly dry air and high temperatures of around 90 degrees. Lows will drop into the mid-60s in Houston, with cooler conditions for outlying areas.

Saturday and Sunday

The sunshine party continues, with more days with highs of around 90 degrees. Rain chances are zero. Dewpoints will be creeping up, but the air will still feel less humid than Houston typically feels in late summer. Nights will be a bit warmer, in the upper 60s for most.

Another front appears to be on the way next Tuesday, or so. (Weather Bell)

Next week

Monday looks to be fairly hot, with high temperatures probably peaking in the lower 90s. I think there’s a chance—don’t hold me to this, but I do think it is a distinct possibility—that Monday or Tuesday will be our final 90-degree day of this calendar year. That’s because a stronger cool front is in the cards for Tuesday or Tuesday night, and this could knock high temperatures down into the 70s by Wednesday. Most of the region could see some nights in the 50s, as well, so hello fall. Rain chances look low with the front, but there may be some better odds toward the end of next week. We’ll see.

Vote for us!

Houstonia magazine is in process of selecting their “Houstonian of the year,” and Matt and I have been nominated among some impressive finalists. The winner is being decided by an online vote, and if you care to support us that would be awesome. Thanks!

09 Oct 17:23

Milton begins to bear down on Florida while growing further in size

by Matt Lanza

Headlines

  • Milton remains a powerful category 4 hurricane, expanding in size.
  • The track should take it somewhere between Tampa Bay and Cape Coral late this evening.
  • Widespread impacts are expected on the west (and east) coasts of Florida, as well as inland with power outages, flooding from rainfall, wind damage, and storm surge.
  • The worst of the surge will impact near and just south of where Milton’s center crosses the Florida coast. A 10 to 15 foot surge is likely in that nearby area, with significant surge beyond that as well, down to Fort Myers Beach or even farther south.
  • 12 to 16 inches of rain will cause significant flash flooding between Tampa and Daytona.
  • Isolated tornadoes are possible.

Hurricane Milton is beginning to impact Florida directly now. Outer rain bands are moving ashore, and the bands offshore definitely look pretty nasty with possible waterspouts. We’re also beginning to see how Milton’s asymmetry will lead to substantially higher rain totals along and north of the path of the center.

Hurricane Milton is beginning to accelerate toward Florida while becoming a larger storm in size. (Tropical Tidbits)

The winds are currently down to 155 mph, making Milton a top end category 4 storm. Hurricane-force winds extend out 30 miles from the center and tropical storm force winds extend out 125 miles, still reasonably close in size to yesterday’s reports. Further expansion of the wind field is expected today. Basically, as Milton’s top end winds drop, it’s moderate to strong winds will expand to cover a larger area. It’s a poisonous trade off, and while it’s accurate to say that Milton will “weaken” today, it’s also accurate to say it is becoming somewhat more dangerous.

Hurricane Milton is currently following the NHC path closely, which will bring it uncomfortably close to Tampa Bay and probably ashore between Tampa Bay and Cape Coral tonight. (NOAA NHC)

The track is pretty straightforward. Milton will continue northeast over the next 12 hours before beginning to turn more to the east-northeast as it crosses Florida. Milton is going to undergo what we call extratropical transition. Basically, since we’re in autumn, with a big cold front sweeping in, Milton will be absorbed into the jet stream.

Here’s how Milton will look 20,000 feet up as it gets intertwined with a cold front and ushered out to sea. (Tropical Tidbits)

On the one hand, this isn’t great because it will lead to an expansion in the wind field as it crosses Florida, and it will also lengthen the wind, as the backside of the storm will continue to have strong wind moving across Florida. On the other hand, this will help the post-storm recovery weather be somewhat cooler and less humid. That cannot go without saying.

Bottom line: A major hurricane with a growing wind field and long duration of wind will be likely tonight and tomorrow morning across Florida, particularly near and north of the track.

Will Milton avoid the Tampa Bay disaster? It’s possible. Most modeling currently takes it south of Tampa Bay, uncomfortably close and within the “margin of error” but still skewed to the south. Here’s the GFS operational forecast model trend of the last several runs, with the “X” indicating Milton’s actual center point.

The GFS model has been aggressive with a hit on Tampa Bay, but it’s verifying slightly farther south than the model expected. This opens the door to a landfall between Sarasota and Cape Coral, but it does not rule out Tampa; a couple wobbles north and it’s back on track toward there. (Brian Tang/SUNY Albany)

You can see how Milton has begun to drift off course relative to most recent GFS runs, or at least on the south side of guidance. I chose the GFS because it has been rather consistent in showing a hit very near Tampa Bay. These trends indicate that there is some potential the landfall point may be coming south. Would I sound an all-clear for Tampa? Not at all; this is still within the margin of error as I said. But if you want good news in Tampa specifically, this may be it. Unfortunately someone has to get the surge. And the area between Sarasota and Cape Coral may be at highest risk now for a 10 to 15 foot surge. The peak surge forecast has nudged southward a bit today.

A peak surge of 10 to 15 feet is currently expected between Anna Maria Island and Boca Grande, but there is some risk that could nudge even a little farther south today. (NOAA NHC)

A very bad storm surge will come in on the Suncoast and south to the Lee Island Coast. Where the worst comes in will be dictated by exactly where the center goes, something we’ll monitor today.

A high risk (level 4/4) of excessive rain and flooding is posted for most of central Florida, including the entire I-4 corridor, Daytona, Tampa, and Sarasota. (NOAA WPC)

Heavy rains of 12 to 16 inches continue to look likely across the I-4 corridor which will produce significant, possibly damaging flash flooding. A high risk (level 4/4) is posted for this region for that flooding. Additionally, isolated tornadoes will be possible.

Bottom line: Milton remains a serious threat to cause significant damage and disruption on the west-central coast of Florida with flooding rains and power outages inland. We will update again around or just before the 5 PM ET advisory.

09 Oct 17:17

how do I live down a reputation for being “extra”?

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

How does one shake a reputation at work for being “extra”?

Three years ago, I joined my current organization and quickly became known as a go-getter, an innovator, and someone good at their job. Senior level colleagues would learn about programs I had developed, express admiration, and ask to borrow the idea. I won our organization a notable grant that earned a fair degree of local industry recognition. The community partners I worked with gushed about how glad they were I was in my position.

Yet at the same time, apparently a tight-knit group of middle managers branded me as “too much.” And I understand why. I could be outspoken in meetings, at times questioning why we did things the way we did (our industry is known to be mired in “because we’ve always done it that way” culture). From time to time, I would get excited about a potential organization-wide initiative and suggest improvements to a colleague’s workflow, later realizing I was “driving outside my lane” and trying to tell someone else how to do their job. A coworker would ask what was new with me and, instead of responding with a one- or two-sentence stock answer, I would give a longer response as though the question wasn’t just a passing pleasantry. Yes, I recently realized I am somewhere on the spectrum and that these faux pas are typical of a person like me.

Over the past year, I have been trying very, very hard not to be “so extra.” While I have continued to deliver solid work and develop new programs, I have made it a point to do more listening in meetings and try to read the room before offering my two cents. When I notice how some activity or project could be improved, I ask myself, “Is this actually under my purview? Would making a suggestion be telling someone how I think they should do their job?” And then I keep it to myself accordingly. Before I walk into a situation where I might mix with middle management or people I feel I’ve over-blabbed to in the past, I rehearse short, pleasant passing interchanges. I’ve been to therapy and I’m trying to prove to my colleagues I’m a good member of the team.

The problem is, my “too much” reputation seems to have been ensconced in our organizational folklore. I get the feeling that I have been talked about by the middle management clique and have become a sort of running joke. I attended a big department-wide meeting a while ago headed by one of these staffers, and at the end they asked if there were any questions. I raised my hand. Their immediate response: “Of course you have a question.” I felt stung, embarrassed in front of all my peers, and didn’t really know how to react.

A few weeks ago, I worked at an off-site tabling event with another middle manager – one I’d found reasonably friendly in the past – and rehearsed my small talk beforehand and reminded myself that anything foolish or insensitive I said could be shared with others in the organization. And I was so good at the event! I didn’t blab on. I gave appropriate, casual responses to small talk. I kept things light and pleasant. Then somewhere towards the end, the middle manager made some passing remark akin to, “Well, of course you’d say something inappropriate in that situation” or “That’s just you: Little Miss Too Much.” I felt completely defeated. I worked so hard to behave so well, only to get stereotyped nonetheless.

How do I rehab my reputation within this organization? Keep on the steady road I’m on, demonstrating I can not say the stupid things I said in the past, hoping that maybe 5-10 years from now I might be well regarded? Just not talk in meetings at all, even when it’s called for? Do my best to avoid the middle management clique? Say something to somebody, like “I’m sorry for being obnoxious in the past and I’m trying so hard to be better – so please stop talking about me”?

I hate feeling like a joke and that people are just waiting for me to make another transgression reinforcing the negative image they have of me. I just want to do my job, embrace the process of doing good work, and not feel like a pariah in this place where I spend 40 hours a week.

Sometimes the easiest way to rehab your reputation is to change jobs and start fresh, because when people are used to seeing you a certain way, it can be very hard to change that — and even if you’re 99% different than you used to be, sometimes that 1% will reinforce their old image of you in their minds.

Not always! Sometimes a sustained, concerted effort to change things works.

But if it’s been a year and you’re still hearing snide comments … well, I don’t love the thought of you staying there and feeling constant pressure to Be Less.

Because the thing is, so much of what you described about yourself are good things: initiative, competence, ideas. And while you’re absolutely right that when those are misapplied, they can alienate people too — regularly telling coworkers how to do their jobs is definitely in that category — there’s good stuff here that I’d hate for you to lose in a drive to make people view you differently. And we know it was good stuff, because it was earning you accolades and admiration. If you stop talking in meetings or stop offering new ideas, you’ll lose that. I understand the temptation — this thing that you thought was helpful turned out to have a double edge you didn’t see coming, and it probably feels like you had the rug pulled out from under you when you thought things were going well, and so it might feel safer to make yourself much smaller — but I don’t want you to over-correct either.

Do you have any colleagues who you trust to have good judgment, the ability to read the room, and a strong familiarity with the various players in your organization? If so, I urge you to run this question by them — not just “how do I can rehab my reputation here?” but “can I rehab my reputation here?” and see what they think. Who knows, maybe you’ll hear you’ve already done it with most people and the middle manager who made those comments is the odd person out and doesn’t hold much influence with anyone else. Or maybe you’ll hear that yeah, you’ve got a tough road ahead if you stay. But they’ll be able to give you a read on how this is playing out in your organization specifically.

09 Oct 17:13

Ambulance Driver Pretty Embarrassed She Did All That Just To Go Three Blocks

by The Onion Staff

MINNEAPOLIS—Admitting her knee-jerk response seemed to have been an overreaction, local ambulance driver Tara Stanton told reporters Wednesday that she was pretty embarrassed she did all of that just to go three blocks. “Oh jeez, if I’d known the guy’s apartment was this close, I never would’ve leaned on the horn and run all those red lights,” said Stanton, who meekly turned off her siren, exited the emergency vehicle, and grew visibly red with humiliation as she looked back a mere 300 yards to the firehouse from which she’d been dispatched. “I totally tore through that intersection at, like, 90 miles per hour, and cut off a few cars, too. I feel really bad if that car crash was because of me. Darn. We probably could have just walked.” At press time, Stanton added that she felt particularly ashamed after realizing the patient whose call she was responding to had already passed away during her 27-second drive.

The post Ambulance Driver Pretty Embarrassed She Did All That Just To Go Three Blocks appeared first on The Onion.

09 Oct 17:13

Mom Spends 15 Minutes Hearting Every Message From Last 5 Days Of Family Group Chat

by The Onion Staff

RICHMOND, VA—In an attempt to make clear her feelings of emotional warmth toward their texts and photos, local mom Susan Barnes reportedly spent 15 minutes of her Thursday morning combing through the past five days of her family’s group chat and adding a heart emoji to each message. “My phone was blowing up every 10 seconds, so I finally just turned it off until she was done liking everything,” said Alex Barnes, 16, whose sole contributions to the group chat during the five-day period were a confirmation of when he needed to be picked up from soccer practice and a text indicating “ok” when he was informed dinner was ready. “The only messages in our chat that don’t have any kind of engagement are hers—which are usually pictures of sunsets, detailed updates on the health of our grandparents, or just long run-on sentences that no one ever makes it to the end of. Occasionally, though, she’ll like one of her own photos of us spending time together.” At press time, Barnes family members confirmed their mother had sent a message that consisted of nothing but a large red heart emoji and had then added a heart reaction to the heart.

The post Mom Spends 15 Minutes Hearting Every Message From Last 5 Days Of Family Group Chat appeared first on The Onion.

09 Oct 17:13

Carnival Cruise Debuts Extravagant All-Inclusive Journey To Edge Of Earth

by The Onion Staff
09 Oct 17:12

Couple Denied Marriage License After Failing To Prove Love Beyond Reasonable Doubt

by The Onion Staff

KANSAS CITY, MO—Falling short of the high burden of proof demanded in the courthouse, area couple Alice Fields and Zachary Garcia were reportedly denied a marriage license Tuesday after failing to prove their love beyond a reasonable doubt. “Although in common terms the two of you may be considered in love, it is the duty of this court to follow a certain standard of evidence, and your relationship must be presumed casual until it is proven serious,” said Judge Luther Hanscom, whose ruling found insufficient grounds to suggest Fields and Garcia’s bond was meant to last forever, concluding it was plausible they were participants in nothing more than a simple fling. “You have not provided the necessary love letters or the breathless texts to your friends after your first date to substantiate a legal claim that you are two halves of a shared, sacred whole. Even as I look at you now, I can see no body language indicating a level of romantic chemistry sufficient to warrant a marriage license. Your affection, though it may exist, is just not at the threshold of making me hear wedding bells when you gaze into each other’s eyes.” At press time, sources confirmed the couple had successfully appealed the ruling after Garcia gave his fiancée a tennis bracelet that must have cost at least $800.

The post Couple Denied Marriage License After Failing To Prove Love Beyond Reasonable Doubt appeared first on The Onion.

09 Oct 13:27

Grandma Who Survived Great Depression Casually Drops That She Once Killed Man For Mayonnaise

by The Onion Staff

LOUISVILLE, KY—In a wide-ranging conversation about the hardships and difficult choices her family had faced during the Great Depression, local grandmother Mary Sipple casually mentioned Tuesday that in August 1937 she took the life of a man who refused to give up a jar of mayonnaise. “She just crushed his skull with a rock and said a prayer while he bled out,” said Sipple’s granddaughter Sarah Green, explaining that her grandmother had managed to make the mayonnaise last until spring, right around the time the dead man’s body—which she had carefully weighed down and dumped into the Ohio River—washed up in the next county. “Grandma told me she was tired of having nothing to put between two slices of bread. So when she saw the man with his jar of Hellmann’s, she made him a proposition: He could either give her the mayonnaise, or he could die. I asked her how she felt about this now, and she just said sandwich spreads were hard to come by back then and the man had made his choice.” At press time, Sipple was reportedly listing on her fingers the various other items—eggs, flour, chewing gum, an Indian head nickel—she had killed people over during the worst economic crisis in American history.

The post Grandma Who Survived Great Depression Casually Drops That She Once Killed Man For Mayonnaise appeared first on The Onion.

09 Oct 13:27

Trump Suggests Immigrants Have ‘Bad Genes’

by The Onion Staff

Former President Donald Trump suggested that migrants have “bad genes” while criticizing Vice President Kamala Harris for her policies on the southern border, claiming that many immigrants have a genetic predisposition for murder. What do you think?

“I heard that 100% of illegal immigrants bring DNA with them.”

Janeen Fry, Loafer Shiner

“Still, it was nice of him to consider them human.”

Mitchell Slota, Carbon Reducer

“Just the kind of ignorant statement I’d expect from someone of Bavarian breeding stock.”

Jesus Alonso, Keyboard Optimizer

The post Trump Suggests Immigrants Have ‘Bad Genes’ appeared first on The Onion.

09 Oct 13:26

Ottawa sends yearly reminder to rest of NHL that it has a hockey team too

by Mark Hill

OTTAWA – With another NHL season about to commence, the Ottawa Senators have once again reminded the rest of the league that they exist and are equipped to play hockey.  “Hi guys, it’s us again, your friendly Atlantic Division participants,” the Senators’ letter to the other 31 teams began. “We just wanted to remind you […]

The post Ottawa sends yearly reminder to rest of NHL that it has a hockey team too appeared first on The Beaverton.