When Baylor University was founded 180 years ago in Independence, the fact that its founders were slaveholders might have seemed unremarkable to their fellow Texas Baptists. Nearly half of the population in its home of Washington County was enslaved, and much of the prosperity of the county and state was tied to slavery. Judge R.E.B. […]
The post Just steps from a slaveholding founder’s statue, a new Baylor memorial honors the enslaved appeared first on The Waco Bridge.
In brief: Get ready for a wild ride in the temperature department. Houston will threaten our all-time November high temperature tomorrow before a cold front knocks 20 degrees off things for Sunday, followed by morning lows in the 30s and 40s. Don’t get too comfortable because 80s should return later next week.
The main story the next two days will be temperatures. Hot temperatures. Typical early November daytime highs are in the mid-70s. We’ll easily jump 10 to 15 degrees above that today and Saturday. Can we do our first official 90 degree November day on record? If I were in Vegas, I would take the under, but not by much. My guess is we hit 86 to 88 today and 87 to 89 tomorrow at IAH.
Upper air temperatures do support highs as close to 90 as we’ll ever see in November, so the chance is definitely there. Either way, it will be close to a record for the date (89 both days). Dewpoints crept back into the mid-60s on Thursday. Look for more of that today and tomorrow, with a chance for dews to get into the 70s (very humid) tomorrow night ahead of the front.
The cold front itself should hit the Houston area between about 2 to 6 AM on Sunday, give or take. It will come with perhaps a handful of light showers, especially south and east of the city. But for the most part the only way you’ll know is by the increase in wind. Wind gusts of 25 to 30 mph, with a few 35 mph gusts as well are likely Sunday and Sunday night. This won’t be quite as windy as the front that hit us right before Halloween but you will notice it out there.
As far as temperatures go, Sunday will be interesting. We may see temps drop for a few hours on Sunday morning after sunrise before stabilizing and warming back to near 70 degrees Sunday afternoon. Either way, it will be roughly 15 to 20 degrees cooler on Sunday than it will be Saturday, so break out the pumpkin spice latte. Have some weight to stabilize your Texans tailgate canopies in the breezy conditions and perhaps a light jacket before the game against the Jags. It’ll be sunny otherwise.
More sun Monday and Tuesday. It appears that the coldest morning will be Tuesday, with the best combination of clear skies and light winds.
We should see numerous 40s everywhere on Monday and then 40s with many upper-30s peppered in on Tuesday morning. Tuesday’s record low of 32 degrees seems comfortably safe for Houston, but a few spots could push the freezing mark well outside of the Metro area. Highs on Monday may not even get much past 60 degrees in spots. Time to get up the Christmas lights.
If you thought this was it, that this was winter arriving for the season, Charlie Brown would like a word.
You are probably going to be surprised to know that high temperatures may push back into the low to mid-80s by late next week. If they don’t hate you already, I assure you that your sinuses will hate you by next weekend.
CORVALLIS, OR—As he tried to avert his gaze from the stress-inducing pile of letters seeking money, local man Todd Fincher remarked Tuesday that the ransom notes on his coffee table were really beginning to pile up. “I’ve been procrastinating on these for months because I just don’t want to deal with them, and now I’ve got a huge stack,” said Fincher, who explained that it was always easier to convince himself that mowing the lawn or cleaning the kitchen was more pressing, and that he could wait until the next day to withdraw 10 grand in cash from the bank. “Look at these. One for my son, one for my assistant at work, another for my mom. You just can’t get ahead in this economy. You pay to get your daughter back, and then two weeks later you get yet another picture of your wife locked up in someone’s basement. I keep saying I’ll get around to getting everyone back, but some of these notes are six months old or more, and I’m honestly just embarrassed. Some are addressed to the previous resident, too, even though I’ve written back to explain they haven’t lived here in years.” “What’s crazy is that I know I’ll feel better the second I don’t have Cara’s fate hanging over my head, and yet I still let it go month after month,” he continued. “I can’t even check the mailbox anymore, because it’s getting too depressing. It’s also starting to stink, and I’m worried there could be a severed finger or something in one of those packages.” Fincher admitted that while all the random notes were overwhelming, it might make things less stressful if he at least paid to get his dog back.
The post Ransom Notes Really Starting To Pile Up appeared first on The Onion.
LOS ANGELES—Preparing fans to jump back into the beloved world of Oz, Wicked: For Good director Jon M. Chu revealed this week that the upcoming movie would pick up right where the first branded tumbler left off. “Wicked part two is a seamless continuation of the original Target-exclusive stainless steel tumbler with detachable straw,” said the filmmaker, emphasizing that anyone who loved the first $34.99 green-and-pink beverage container would be equally blown away by the second one. “Anyone is welcome to jump right into For Good, but I’d definitely recommend familiarizing yourself with last year’s insulated cup since there will be some important callbacks. We’ll wrap up storylines and go further than we ever could have in just one 40-oz lidded vessel.” At press time, Chu added that the film would also contain Easter eggs for fans of the 1939 Tin Man lunch box.
The post ‘Wicked’ Director Reveals Sequel Will Pick Up Right Where First Branded Tumbler Left Off appeared first on The Onion.
CRAWFORD, TX—Lashing out at the overbearing former vice president seated motionless in a rocking chair by the attic window, a distraught George W. Bush shouted, “Shut up, Mother! Shut up!” at the skeleton of Dick Cheney dressed in a suit, sources confirmed Friday. “I’m not your little boy anymore, Mother, so why must you constantly criticize me?” said the trembling 43rd president of the United States, accusing Cheney’s remains of cruelly mocking his paintings as “girlish” and “unbecoming of a boy his age.” “Don’t look at me that way, Mother! You always look at me that way! Go ahead and laugh, laugh that shrill old laugh of yours, but I can make my own decisions now because you don’t control me! Fine Mother, bring up bin Laden, just like you always do. You’ve spent your whole life trying to make me feel small, but I’m grown now. I’m a man, Mother, a man ! Hush now, I didn’t mean to raise my voice, Mother, honest. Let Georgie come and give you a kiss.” At press time, the former president was reportedly guiding Laura Bush toward the attic while murmuring, “Mother’s finally ready to meet you.”
The post ‘Shut Up, Mother! Shut Up!’ Pleads George W. Bush To Dick Cheney Skeleton Dressed In Suit appeared first on The Onion.
More than 71 million Americans are enrolled in Medicaid for healthcare. The Onion dispels common myths surrounding the program’s new work requirements, which go into effect after next year’s midterm elections.
MYTH: Most people on Medicaid already work.
FACT: Whatever.
MYTH: An 80-hour-per-month work requirement is a lot.
FACT: Eighty hours of work on Earth is actually only 35 hours of work on Saturn.
MYTH: Disabled veterans are exempt.
FACT: Attempting to navigate the VA system counts as a full-time job.
MYTH: The burden of reporting work hours will cause mass confusion and delays in coverage.
FACT: Diabetics are well-versed at rationing out their insulin at this point.
MYTH: “Able-bodied” is a vague term that ignores the complexities of many illnesses.
FACT: “Able-bodied” is a massive improvement from the term they wanted to use.
MYTH: The free market will correct for reduced Medicaid spending.
FACT: The Grim Reaper will correct for reduced Medicaid spending.
MYTH: Work requirements are confusing to navigate and hard to verify.
FACT: Your family lawyer should be able to take care of it without much fuss.
MYTH: Millions of people will lose benefits.
FACT: That’s only Phase One.
MYTH: Pregnant women are exempt out of a special concern for their well-being.
FACT: After birth, the vessel may be discarded.
MYTH: This will hurt countless innocent people.
FACT: It’s broad enough it will probably get a couple real bastards, too.
The post Medicaid Work Requirements Myth Vs. Fact appeared first on The Onion.
France announced that it will suspend Shein’s online marketplace after listings of sex dolls with child-like features emerged, coming as the brand opens its first brick-and-mortar store in Paris. What do you think?
“Why, what’s the age of consent for sex dolls in France?”
Dion Kerr, Soda Distiller
“Anyone who’s serious about their sex dolls would never buy one from Shein anyway.”
Beth Polonsky, Cactus Trimmer
“All my sex dolls are well into their 50s.”
Eddie Fermin, Unemployed
The post France Suspends Shein Over Sex Dolls appeared first on The Onion.
In brief: Today we talk about the first dose of Arctic air this cold season, in addition to the chance of lake effect snow. We’ve also got a look at California which may shift quite a bit stormier later next week. Plus a lot of news to catch up on and the latest on NOAA/NWS challenges.
Autumn is going to autumn heading into the weekend. A big warm up is in store for the eastern half of the country ahead of a potent Arctic cold front. This will deliver a taste of early winter to much of the Eastern and Southern U.S. Houston, Austin, and San Antonio may threaten a record high temperature on both Friday and Saturday.
But a cold front plowing east on Saturday and Sunday will eradicate this warm weather and replace with the first real dose of Arctic air of the season. Morning lows on Monday and especially Tuesday will threaten records, mainly in the Southeast.
We will see frost and freeze make it all the way down close to I-10 to the east of Houston. Lows in the teens and 20s will be likely to the north from Tennessee into the Midwest. Chicago should be in the mid-20s on Monday morning, Minneapolis near 20, and Detroit mid-20s.
In addition, the first legitimate lake effect snow of the season looks likely behind this system. A few inches of accumulation could add up near the lakeshore in Michigan, parts of Indiana, and perhaps New York or Ohio. Not a major event right now, but it’s worth keeping an eye on. It’s that time of year.
Temperatures will warm up again next week.
It’s a bit early to get into specifics, but it does appear that a significant shift south in moisture is going to occur next week in the West. This should allow for significant rain to impact California, as well as significant Sierra snow.
Again, it’s too early to get into details, but ensemble modeling seems to support up to an inch or so of moisture in SoCal and 1 to 3 inches in NorCal. Operational guidance, including European AI modeling suggests there is higher side risk to these totals as well.
Bottom line: It looks like a substantial wet storm or series of storms may impact much of California by later next week.
Help me close my tabs by checking out some news from this week.
Derechos: Cool news out of Oklahoma where researchers are embarking on a project to catalog derecho events (hundreds of miles of damaging thunderstorm winds, many in the higher end of 75 to 100 mph) back to the 1950s. The idea is to try and understand what the correct environment for derecho development may be, which would help improve forecast accuracy. (University of Oklahoma)
Roanoke, Virginia: It’s been 40 years since a terrible flood struck Roanoke in 1985, causing $200 million in damage and killing 10 people. Massive flood mitigation efforts ensued, and it’s been successful, though there is still much work to do. I strongly encourage you also read Kevin Myatt’s flood synopsis of that event and how Hurricane Juan did and did not cause it.
Chattanooga, Tennessee: In Chattanooga, the Tennessee Department of Transportation is assessing how their infrastructure performed during floods in August that damaged 309 homes or businesses. The rain that fell was a 400 to 500 year event which blew past the design thresholds. We read about this a lot. We are getting better data through NOAA’s Atlas 15 project, but even that may become somewhat outdated as atmospheric moisture is increasing, leading to more frequent heavy rainfall events. (WTVC)
Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina: In Sullivan’s Island, a location that is seeing more frequent coastal flooding, the town produced a 154 page mitigation plan. It included policy recommendations. Despite the fact that it addresses an obvious problem, some residents are skeptical. It boils down to property rights and taxes due to the cost of mitigation. One councilmember chastised the community for not speaking up during one of the 15 sessions the town had to question the experts behind the plan. Democracy is messy and requires participation. People need to involve themselves in these discussions. (Charleston Post and Courier)
Kipnuk, Alaska: In Kipnuk, one of the villages severely impacted by Typhoon Halong’s remnants in October, a $20 million grant was earmarked by the EPA to help protect its infrastructure from flooding. A few months before the storm, the EPA informed Kipnuk that the “objectives of the award are no longer consistent with EPA funding priorities,” and they canceled the grant. While it may not have helped during Halong, it’s a reminder of how much mitigation work needs to be done across the country and why grant programs like this are critical to villages like Kipnuk. (Alaska Public Media)
Milwaukee, Wisconsin: In August, southeast Wisconsin was battered by some extreme, historic flooding. Now, FEMA and the Trump Administration are denying flood mitigation funding for public infrastructure. As U.S. Rep. Gwen Moore points out, and as I heard former FEMA Director Deanne Criswell talk about yesterday here in Houston, state and local governments can’t do these things alone. The tactic since this administration took office has been to rip the band aid off without a viable alternative in place or giving anyone a chance to prepare for what happens next. “Oh well” is not a solution. (Wisconsin Examiner)
Speaking of… I don’t want to overdo this section, but as has been the case for the last several months, we continue to have reasons to be concerned about NOAA in the current administration.
Volunteer work?
First, whether you blame Republicans or Democrats for the government shutdown that is currently gridlocking the country, it does not matter. In Washington it’s a chess match. To most average Americans, no one really cares who is responsible, they just want a solution. Alan Gerard’s “Balanced Weather” had a great post late last week on the heroic work that the Hurricane Hunters performed during Hurricane Melissa. Not only are these people not getting paid at the moment, they were flying into Melissa, an already hazardous mission, with extra volunteers and smaller than normal crews. They may have made some of their most dangerous flights in modern times doing this too. Let’s just repeat that: Volunteers. Doing arguably the most hazardous job in all of meteorology. Why is this? Because of the shutdown. And I am sure the fact that the Hurricane Research Division of NOAA is operating at half-capacity thanks to probationary firings earlier this year ordered by DOGE and the many retirements that were encouraged is contributing to this as well. This also comes after the administration’s proposed budget, a list of their priorities, would have scaled back hurricane hunter flights into storms.
We owe them a strong debt of gratitude for the work they do, and yes flying into a storm that is bearing down on Jamaica is part of their job responsibilities. Why? Because America has always been the leader in this space. It’s part of what has made American global science leadership great. I’m not sure relying on retired volunteers is a great way to ensure that continues, however. This administration’s handling of NOAA runs counter to the greatness mantra they regularly espouse. Anyway, read Alan’s post on this topic.
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…
1. Boss doesn’t care that new office isn’t accessible
I work in a director-level position for a center of a large university. We have experienced significant reductions in staffing following budget cuts and project terminations. Several staff also work remotely. We have a large leased office space off-campus, but now that we only have about 20 people who work in the office regularly (down from over 100), the university has decided that we need to move. This all seems reasonable to me.
However, the space the university has proposed is a converted rowhome with steep concrete steps into the front door, a very narrow and steep staircase up to the second floor with no landings, and a bathroom with a low-sitting toilet and no stability bars. There is a back door to an alley that does not have any stairs, but it is currently exit-only. When I toured the new space with the executive director (my boss) and another director, I raised concerns about accessibility and noted that it did not appear to comply with the American Disabilities Act. This space would not be open to the public, and we do not currently have any staff who use a wheelchair, but there are staff who might have difficulty navigating the stairs and bathrooms. I also expressed concern that anyone could easily fall down the very steep stairs and be injured. The other director shared my concerns and noted feeling a bit uncomfortable herself on the stairs.
I suggested several next steps, including: a list of questions for the Facilities team about the accessibility and requests for accommodations, such as stability bars in the bathroom, a portable/storable ramp for the front entrance, and granting entry access to the back door with an automatic opener; a list of questions for HR regarding how to approach accessibility concerns with staff, such as whether to ask staff to self-identify if they think they would have trouble with the stairs so we can try to accommodate a first floor office or advocate harder for a different office space; proactively reaching out to the Office of Institutional Equity, which handles disability accommodations, for guidance; and contacting to the Office of Occupational Safety and Health to document our concerns about the safety of the staircase.
My boss has largely shrugged this off and seems excited about moving to the new space. They seem to think this is a done deal and we have no room to negotiate. I have reason to believe this is untrue, but even if it is, I think that we should make more of an effort to document our concerns and advocate for our staff. I’d rather not go over my boss’s head, but I am troubled by the new office set up, the lack of my boss’s care, and the stark misalignment of this move with our own stated values of equity and inclusion. Do you have advice for what more I can do? Am I off-base in my concern, or is this something I should keep pushing on?
You’re not off-base. I’d say this: “I’m worried we’re setting ourselves up for legal and logistical headaches if we don’t address some of this before we move in, and it’ll be much less disruptive to do it now than after we’re already in the space. I’m happy to take the lead on it so it stays off your plate! Unless you object, I’d like to contact Facilities and the Institutional Equity office this week to make sure we stay in compliance.” If your boss responds that there’s nothing that can be changed, you could say, “I think to cover ourselves from a liability standpoint we need to at least alert them to what we’ve noticed so it’s clear we didn’t just ignore it. Can I move forward on that myself?”
2. I took a step back and feel like I’m failing
I recently left a job that I loved and was good at after a decade, due to moral injury (I worked in social services and under the current regime, things are … really not good in a way I could not handle being a part of). At the time I left, I was making very good money for my field.
In the two months since then, I have applied to everything within my field that’s available up to a 90-minute commute away. Due to needing to pay bills and anxiety over the current state of job-searching, I ended up accepting a position that I’m not honestly that happy with. While the work is similar to what I was doing and is in an interesting city, it is a title drop (coordinator down to project assistant) and a significant drop in pay.
For some reason, I cannot get over the feeling that I have failed and am now “regressing” professionally. I literally cried the whole drive to do the hiring paperwork because I just kept thinking of how stupid and under-qualified I must be, to not be able to secure a position of similar title or pay after over a decade of experience. Was my previous job just a fluke, and I wasn’t qualified to be working there either? Am I doomed to be an assistant making less than $40,000 a year once I’m 40, 50, and 60?
I know logically there are a lot of other factors at play, but I don’t know how to get over this feeling that I should be better than this by now. I can’t go back in time and join another industry or go to college for something else, and I don’t regret leaving my previous position with the situation that’s unfolding. But how do I shift my thinking away from this negative feeling of shame?
You got a job in a terrible job market where lots of people are spending exponentially more months job-searching. That’s not failure; that’s making a practical decision in a difficult situation, and doing better than a lot of your competition is!
You aren’t going to be stuck in this job forever. You took it because it made sense for you in the circumstances you’re in right now. At some point those circumstances will change, and you’ll move to a different place on your professional path.
In fact, there’s a ton of room to move from project assistant to coordinator jobs (and from there, beyond). It’s an incredibly common path for people to take! If you do well and become known as someone who’s conscientious and good at the work, it’s highly likely that you’ll be able to move up from here. (And this isn’t needing to jump from assistant to VP to get back where you were; you’re talking about a much easier move.)
3. Director tried to force us to donate to a birthday gift and was furious when we wouldn’t
I work in a government agency (outside the U.S.) with thousands of employees in different branches. My branch has 40-50 people working here, with two managers, the director, and the assistant manager.
Recently, the assistant manager hit pension age, 65, and invited everyone at our branch and around 200 other people to her birthday party, outside work hours. We don’t celebrate birthdays at our branch, as it has caused numerous hurt feelings when someone is celebrated more or less than others. Despite this, the director insisted that we all contribute to a gift for the assistant manager, with a minimum donation of $30 per person. This caused a huge argument, as for a lot of people (myself included!) this was a huge chunk out of our weekly budgets. (Over half the office are living paycheck to paycheck.) The director was challenged on this by multiple people. Conversing with some of my teammates, we all agreed that we could afford up to $20, but $30 was pushing us past a comfortable level.
The director, seeing how little was coming in, started to send first passive-aggressive, and then full-on aggressive, emails about not contributing. They started out with little threats like “Those not contributing will not be able to sign the card” up to “Nothing you could buy personally will be under $30, so don’t even try” and then escalated to lectures in weekly meetings about budgeting and threatening to send staff to the same budget advice service we direct our clients to. She personally caught me one day to advise how much money I must be saving as I don’t have children and “no costs”! I briefly rebutted this – I have student loans, rent, debt, and bills like everyone else! (And you understand how expensive cats are to feed.)
I ended up not contributing, and the gift ended up being over $1,000, surprising the assistant manager who had no idea about the gift situation.
The whole thing left myself and half the team feeling quite bitter. About 20 people didn’t end up contributing and we were persona non grata for about a month with the director. This isn’t normal, is it?
No, it’s not normal! Nothing about it is normal — from the compulsory donation amount (as opposed to a “suggested” amount, which is still problematic because it’s still pressuring people, but less so than making it compulsory), to the threats and lectures, to the implication that your life must be free since you don’t have kids, to the ultimate (and ridiculous) amount of $1,000 (!), to the freezing out of people who didn’t contribute. It’s all wildly inappropriate and wrong. It would be wildly inappropriate and wrong in a social situation; it’s triply so in a work situation, as well as an abuse of power by your director. Any chance you have HR that would care?
Something is deeply wrong with your director, and I’m betting this isn’t the only thing they mishandle.
Related:
I’m being pressured to contribute to gifts for resigning coworkers — and it’s increasingly obnoxious
4. Can my employer make me update my accommodation paperwork?
I have a permanent disability that never goes away (PTSD). I put in a request for accommodations and submitted a note from my therapist from my original diagnosis over a decade ago. My accommodations are very basic — just being able to work from home around the anniversary of the events that caused my PTSD. I already have some flexibility as a faculty member, but I know the importance of having formal protections in place.
The HR rep emailed me to say that they couldn’t identify anything in the documents that “suggests the conditions and need for accommodation are permanent or will extend past 2023.” However, my therapist and doctor’s notes from back then clearly diagnosed me with PTSD, which can get better, but is a permanent condition.
Am I right to think that the department is not allowed to get into the business of diagnosing me? That these medical documents should be enough to move forward? I am currently working to get additional documentation (moving means my doctors are out of network, so I’m finding new providers), but I was very surprised by the email back with this particular language. Is there anything I should be aware of and do? I checked the ADA website, but it wasn’t super clear what they are allowed to ask questions about when I provided verification of my diagnosis.
They’re not diagnosing you; they’re saying that the paperwork you submitted is over a decade old and they need something more recent indicating that the need for accommodations still exists currently. That’s allowed under the ADA, and it’s not unreasonable.
The law does say that you don’t need to do this if it’s obvious that the disability still exists, such as if you were blind or missing a limb. But while PTSD can be permanent, it isn’t always — and when we’re talking about a note that’s more than 10 years old, it’s reasonable for them to request updated documentation since disabilities and needs can change over time. (Here’s what the Job Accommodation Network says about this.)
The post boss doesn’t care that new office isn’t accessible, mandatory birthday contributions, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.
THIS SUMMER
![[img]:lgilnl](https://analognowhere.com/_/lgilnl/lgilnl.png)
daemon: "see? I can put in as much whitespace as I want!"
kornboy: "But can you print the output of a command inside heredocs?"
daemon: "Who do you think would win in a fight?" Tom Duff or David Korn?"
kornboy: "Don't ask questions you don't want answered!"
https://analognowhere.com/_/lgilnl
Let’s see how Mr. Rockford does without any water…
WASHINGTON—Reaffirming the Trump administration’s promise to crack down on individuals providing supervision and instruction to youngsters across the United States, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem stated at a press conference Thursday that daycare workers have walked freely in this country for far too long. “Time and time again, we have allowed these people to watch our kids while we’re at work with no consequences,” said Noem, adding that caregivers would no longer get off scot-free for tending to children’s every need. “Previous administrations have done nothing while these dangerous offenders indoctrinated our children with letters, shapes, and numbers. But now America is back, and we will not stand for this. The Biden-era nightmare of childcare providers doling out apple juice with impunity is finally over. Americans can sleep soundly knowing that ICE remains dedicated to getting these caregivers out of our essential workforce.” Noem then stepped away from the podium to deal with staffing shortages that arose when DHS employees could no longer find childcare.
The post DHS: ‘Daycare Workers Have Walked Freely in This Country For Far Too Long’ appeared first on The Onion.
Tom Brady revealed that he and his family used non-invasive technology to create a clone of their beloved dog after the original pet passed away. What do you think?
“It would’ve been much more humane to clone a shelter dog.”
Yvonne Canales, Systems Analyst
“Well, that really fucks my parlay.”
Barry Niestradt, Bracelet Model
“You’d think he could afford a new dog.”
David Wohlers, Curling Announcer
The post Tom Brady Clones Dog appeared first on The Onion.
Hey man, is that you putting on all that weird stuff? #CowboyWho
“New York millionaires are plotting their exit from the city after the election of Zohran Mamdani, the socialist who plans to increase the taxes of the rich.”
—The Telegraph
Well, looks like the unthinkable has happened—Zohran Mamdani will be the next mayor of New York City. As the founder of a bro culture clickbait site who has been repeatedly accused of sexual misconduct, I hate to see this city going in such an obviously bad direction. If New York City is no longer going to be an unaffordable police state run by crooks, I’m taking my hard-earned sex-pest dollars elsewhere.
When I heard Mamdani had won the Democratic primary a few months ago, I was so incandescently angry that I scissor-kicked a hole in my drywall. I couldn’t stand the thought of a socialist running a city that is supposed to be managed by egomaniacal kleptocrats. Still, I held out hope that Mamdani’s sex-offender opponent would ultimately prevail. Now, my fellow wealthy serial molesters and I have no choice but to move our ill-reputed businesses elsewhere while we find other towns full of unsuspecting women to harass. Good luck without us, Gotham.
It’s appalling that Mamdani is going to use his new position of power to make New York more livable for average citizens at the expense of industrious job creators/alleged rapists like myself. I earned every penny of my fortune the hard way—by eating pizza and talking about sports—and I am not about to fork over an extra cent just so dishwashers and barbacks can afford to buy groceries. If I had a choice between my taxes going up by 2 percent and every New York schoolchild getting enough to eat, you better believe I’d be letting those little brats scour the subway for enough loose change to buy a chopped cheese. Starvation builds character.
When I’m in the city, I want the authentic New York experience—getting served a hot slice of pepperoni pie by a Turkish immigrant who commutes in from Pennsylvania because he can’t afford to live anywhere in the five boroughs. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a city where everyday residents have to work three jobs and are under constant threat of eviction. Anything short of an excruciating existence for the working class just doesn’t cut it for me.
New York City municipal politics is supposed to be a Kafkaesque bureaucratic machine designed to benefit the elites. The mayor of New York should be a mustache-twirling Batman villain whom everyone despises, not a handsome, bearded Zillennial whom crowds cheer for every time he hops on stage at the club to explain his plans to freeze rent.
What happened to the old New York, where creepy freaks could make an honest living running manosphere blogs that advertise virility pills in between slightly racist hot takes on sports? What happened to the New York that catered to Wall Street coke heads, shady tech founders, and crypto-fascist billionaires? What happened to the New York that was run by predators, for predators?
Instead, New York is going to turn into a communist hellhole where poor people are barely exploitable anymore. If that’s the case, count me out. I’m packing up the offices of my toxic masculinity troll site and taking my miscreant talents somewhere they’ll be appreciated, like Florida or Texas. Let’s see how the Big Apple fares without frat boy media companies and our sexual-deviant dollars. Millionaire perverts are the lifeblood of this city.
Plus, I’d much rather swipe the apps in a city where I’m not already on all the local dating-safety watchlists.
As we approach to the season of office potlucks, catered parties, and other holiday meals with coworkers, let’s discuss the many ways in which they can go wrong — from alarming cuisine to cheap-ass rolls to riots over the chili cook-off to tantrums over insufficiently abundant shrimp.
Please share your stories of potlucks, cooking competitions, catered parties, and other office meals gone awry!
The post when office potlucks and catered parties go wrong appeared first on Ask a Manager.
A reader writes:
I was curious about where the line is on religious accommodation, and at what point it’s okay to say an accommodation cannot be made.
I had an employee who needed an accommodation that allowed them to take lunch at a different time from the rest of the company once a week. This was somewhat inconvenient but I was able to accommodate them. Later they let me know that they were going to need additional accommodations, which again were doable but inconvenient. I also noticed that their work performance suffered during certain times when they told me they needed to fast for their religion. They didn’t make me aware of any of these needed accommodations until they’d been hired and working for a couple of weeks. At one point someone suggested that in order for me to accommodate this employee I should to work additional hours myself.
Ultimately I was able to accommodate this employee with minimal frustration, but what if it hadn’t been as easy? What if there’d been a standing meeting that they were needed for during the time they needed to take their lunch that couldn’t be easily moved? I want to be as supportive and flexible as possible but at what point am I able to say “this goes past reasonable”?
I answer this question — and two others — over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.
Other questions I’m answering there today include:
The post how much do I need to accommodate employees’ religion? appeared first on Ask a Manager.
Space Chief! He’s running over us! Alright!
The happy couple held an elaborate reception for their closest loved ones and a handful of people they’ll point to in photos years from now wondering who the fuck they even are.
The post Carl Brooks and Evan Perth appeared first on The Onion.
Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani made history Tuesday night when he was elected the first Muslim mayor of New York City. The Onion fact-checks the claims being made about Mamdani.
Claim: Mamdani is a nepo baby.
True: Mamdani is the eldest son of Bill de Blasio and Ed Koch.
Claim: Mamdani will destroy New York City.
False: Rapidly rising sea levels will destroy New York City.
Claim: Mamdani is a communist.
False: Any real communist will happily spend six hours explaining why this isn’t true.
Claim: Mamdani adheres to an extremist interpretation of Sharia law.
False: Mamdani remains honor-bound to the ancient samurai code of Bushidō.
Claim: My uncle says Mamdani will abolish the entire NYPD.
True: Your uncle does say that.
Claim: Mamdani met his wife on Hinge.
True: But it won’t happen to you.
Claim: Mamdani ended Andrew Cuomo’s political career.
False: Cuomo ended Cuomo’s political career.
Claim: He’s 34.
True: It’s time to get your shit together.
The post Fact-Checking Claims About Zohran Mamdani appeared first on The Onion.
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