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“The meaning of my work is the motivation that is of the purest – money. What I did for Playboy is very good and your payment is equal to the task." Salvador Dalí Speculation has never quite unravelled the reasoning behind Salvador Dalí's early '70s collaboration with Playboy photographer Pompeo Posar: his own comments point at a monetary priority, while fans seek deeper meaning. Lore

Our mission: to take the 1965 "The Sound Of Bacharach" album and remodel it for the digital age. The result: quite possibly the greatest single disc Burt Bacharach compilation there has ever been.trax:

Internet cat star Colonel Meow (previously at Neatorama) is now going to be enshrined in the Guinness Book of World Records as the cat with the longest fur.

Colonel Meow, age two, is a Himalayan-Persian crossbreed with fur that reaches nine inches long. Meow's fantastically furry features will be part of the newest edition of the 2014 Guinness World Records book, which comes out next month.

Meow calls Los Angeles home, specifically the home he shares with owners Anne Marie Avey and Eric Rosario.

Avey admits while the cat's record-setting fur is something special indeed, it's also kind of a pain in the butt, according to info sent over by Meow's representation. “Literally everything in the house has hair on it, including us! I feel like I’m always vacuuming!” says Avey.

Nine-inch fur? That goes a long way toward explaining the cat's unique appearance. See more pictures of the Colonel and his fur at laist. Link

(Image credit:Guinness World Records)

Comercializa unas cuatrocientas variedades con esencia artesana

The Gibraltarian border. All photos by Alexis Yamagata

A lot has changed for Gibraltar in the past month. The slab of land at Spain's southern tip has gone from being an expat theme park famous for its red phone boxes and monkeys to being the potential site of a flashpoint between the British and Spanish governments.

But while the chest-puffing scenes of Spanish fishing "armadas" facing off against British warships has been good fun from a media point of view, it's detracted from the fact that the real issue surrounding the tension over Gibraltar isn't one of sovereignty at all. Instead, all this commotion is merely acting as a smokescreen for the Spanish government to hide behind while they deal with the fallout from a pretty serious corruption scandal.

Since January, senior members of Spain's ruling People's Party have had to bat away allegations that their members benefited directly and illegally from the creation of the housing bubble and its eventual crash. While the case is still in the courts, the party’s ex-treasurer has admitted to keeping a separate set of books documenting cash kickbacks paid to cabinet members by construction companies. The government has so far refused to stand down, but it’s not unthinkable that an international media outcry could force its hand.

A car being checked at the Gibraltarian border

This doesn’t really suit the interests of the troika of organizations who have leant Spain a shit-ton of money—the IMF, the EC, and the ECB—or the balance sheets of Spanish companies such as Telefonica or Banco Santander, who are understandably nervous about the prospect of a third party winning an open general election and tearing up current debt agreements. So what better time for a big story involving warships to invoke some national pride? For a scandal-ridden government of a crisis-hit country, Gibraltar presents the perfect high-profile political news story to turn on whenever it needs to deflect attention from more serious issues.

Madrid’s official line on the tighter border controls is that they’re an attempt to crack down on the black-market trade in duty-free cigarettes. But it's a justification that—while seemingly legitimate—hasn't garnered much in the way of support from the local population.

Last year, Gibraltar imported 175 million packets of cigarettes. Which means they've either got their toddlers on two packs a day, or they’re selling an awful lot to visitors. There’s a five-packs-per-person limit in force, which people find imaginative ways to break, either through taping packets to their body under their clothes (one branch of Morrisons at the border even has a changing room on site), driving them across in secret compartments in their cars or—if they enjoy injecting a bit of panache into their smuggling—by jet ski.

The government estimates that 750,000 packets were smuggled over the border last year, meaning a hefty amount in lost tax revenue. But while nobody is denying the scope and illegality of the trade, for many of the residents in this area of Spain, smuggling is also a lifeline.

Some of the cigarettes Gibraltar has been importing in unbelievably huge numbers

Just across the border from the Rock, the town of La Linea de La Concepción has one of the highest unemployment levels in Spain. Accordingly, smuggling is one of the only avenues open to those without a job. “I don’t see the harm in it at all,” states Alexis, a first-year student at Manchester University who grew up in the area and is back for the summer.

“My friend lost his job at a recycling plant last week after three months of not being paid," he continued. "What else is he meant to do?” And what about the risks involved, I asked? “I think, if they catch you twice, they can impound your car. But I don’t know anything about the fines.”

It’s not just that it’s hard to see the moral problem with making money off a product that is widely viewed as being taxed too highly, it’s that—like in any border town—a black market in white goods is a way of life. “Grannies and kids do it here. I really don’t understand what all the fuss is about,” Alexis told me.

The crackdown at the border has also affected the legitimate businesses of local Spaniards. La Linea’s mayor, Gemma Araujo, has been one of the few politicians to speak openly against the tightening of controls. During an appearance on a televised debate show last week, she made a case for the goods and services provided to Gibraltarian residents by local Spanish workers, using the rather unsexy trade of "door making" as a case in point. She also pointed out that everyone in the area has a vested interest in ending the standoff, going so far as to allege that several local members of the Spanish government were earning a second living from online gambling firms based in Gibraltar.

So, with all of that in place—as well as the impracticality of a return to Spanish sovereignty after Gibraltar’s citizens voted in favor of keeping UK citizenship in a 2002 referendum, and its obvious benefit as an economic boon to the area—it's easy to see that the dredging up of this drama might be about more than fishing and cigarettes.

Follow Paul on Twitter: @pauldotsimon

More from Spain:

Teenage Riot: Spain's Neo-Revolutionaries  

When Spain's Angry Miners Took Over Madrid  

How Catalonia's National Day Turned Into a Nationalist Party  

Weird Duolingo Phrases (SLTumblr).

Also consider following @shitduosays on Twitter.

Estacionó en la zona reservada para los vehículos de la policía local

This horrific costume looks great and is sure to freak out everyone who sees it. You can learn how to make your own head-in-a-jar costume with the handy instructions thanks to 30 Handmade Days.

Link

Photo: Suzanne Tucker/Shutterstock

Can you be fat and healthy at the same time? Apparently so, according to a new study by University of Pennsylvania physicians and obesity researchers who say that there are people with "metabolically healthy obesity."

Many obese people are classified as such when their body mass index or BMI reaches a certain value. BMI, a formula based on a person's weight and height, was invented by Belgian mathematician Adolphe Quetelet in the early 19 century and has garnered wide acceptance as a simple way to measure "fatness." It's quick and easy to administer - requiring only a scale and a ruler - and allows for comparison for broad populations, taking in age and country-by-country variations. Indeed, BMI is a good statistical measure of the obesity of a whole population of people.

Doctors have noted, however, that some people with BMI in the obese range are actually quite healthy and that in many cases, fat people fare better than thin ones with the same ailments. In the "obesity paradox," researchers noted that diabetic patient of normal weight are twice as likely to die than those who are obese. Others have pointed out that thin dialysis patients are more likely to die than heavier ones.

In recent years, the medical field has began to accept that BMI is not a reliable measure of health in individuals, and that some people who are obese do not have nor are they in any danger of developing obesity-related diseases.

But how many people are actually "fat but fit" and "not fat but not fit"? The answer may surprise you. For 1 in 5 Americans, BMI may actually tell the wrong story:

- 8% of normal-weight adults in the United States are actually metabolically unhealthy
This translates to 19.2 million people whom doctors may not currently worry about but should.

- 10% of obese adults are actually metabolically healthy
This means that 24 million chubby Americans are not in any danger of dying because of obesity-related illnesses, but are probably badgered by their family, friends and employers to lose weight.

Soy aristócrata, soy conde, soy rico, soy embajador, soy gordo, y todavía me preguntan por qué soy de derechas. ¿Pues qué coño puedo ser? (Agustín de Foxá)

Agustín de Foxá, conde de lo mismo, o sea, de Foxá y marqués de Armendáriz, nació en Madrid en el año 1903 en el seno de una familia aristócrata. Poeta, novelista, autor teatral, columnista y orador incansable, dejó a la posteridad multitud de frases ingeniosas y una obra inacabada por su temprano óbito, en 1959, a los 56 años de edad, que la evolución histórica de España ha postergado al ostracismo.

En Agustín de Foxá, conde de los mismo, Francisco Umbral lo define como «vasto, gordo, exquisito, dandi, cínico, culto y brillante» y es ese personaje, que tanto se preocupó él mismo por cultivar, el que ha sobrevivido a una obra despreciada por motivos ideológicos y de la que solo se salva una novela, Madrid, de corte a checa, que es para muchos autores, como Jaime Siles, una de las mejores del siglo XX en español. Pero Foxá no fue solo un conde gordo, como lo definiría Ussía, cínico e ingenioso con una novela fantástica.

En 1994 Andrés Trapiello se interesaría por el personaje en su célebre ensayo sobre la cultura en la guerra civil española, Las armas y las letras, rescatando del olvido al fascinante histrión de las grandes ocurrencias y provocando que su afamada novela volviera a reeditarse en diferentes ocasiones.

Dice Luis Carandell, en un artículo en El País, que Foxá era el escritor franquista que menos antipático caía a los progres y recuerda algunos de los grandes apotegmas que le hicieran famoso. Algunas de esas frases podrían haberle metido en problemas serios en la España de la época, de hecho fue así en muchas ocasiones, pero Foxá no soportaba que la realidad le estropease una gracia con la que deslumbrar al respetable.

Así, ante un ministro de Exteriores muy beato, y que llegaba tarde a una reunión del cuerpo diplomático, exclamó: «se habrá ido de curas». Otro día, fue él mismo el que llegó con retraso e inquirió: «¿A qué hora ha dicho que es la misa?»

Trapiello cita otra sentencia en la que el conde dejaba constancia de su cinismo y atrevimiento: «Hagamos de España un país fascista y vayámonos a vivir al extranjero» que, junto a la siguiente, más conocida, «Tengo el puesto ideal. Embajador de una dictadura (la de Franco) en una democracia. Disfruto de ambos sistemas», muestran los pocos reparos del escritor a la hora de llevar su peculiar humor a la política.

Él mismo resume de forma magistral su recorrido ideológico desde la aventura juvenil de la Falange al desencanto del franquismo de la siguiente manera:

Todas las revoluciones han tenido como lema una trilogía: libertad, igualdad, fraternidad fue de la Revolución francesa; en mis años mozos yo me adherí a la trilogía falangista que hablaba de patria, pan y justicia. Ahora, instalado en mi madurez, proclamo otra: café, copa y puro.

Junto a Trapiello, el otro gran valedor de la figura del conde de Foxá fue sin duda Francisco Umbral, que lo sitúa escribiendo Madrid, de corte a checa en Leyenda del César Visionario, gran novela umbraliana sobre la Guerra Civil, le dedica un enorme artículo en Los alucinados, que ya hemos mencionado, y lo cita en numerosos artículos y obras. Tanto Trapiello como Umbral rescatan esa imagen heterodoxa y brillante del conde, pero que es solo una de las caras de una personalidad poliédrica y compleja.

Foxá estudió Derecho y se hizo diplomático. Pronto empezó a colaborar con diversas revistas de prestigio como La Gaceta Literaria de Ernesto Giménez Caballero, lugar de encuentro de las vanguardias literarias durante los años 20, así como en Héroe o Mundial. En 1930 se estrenaría como articulista en ABC, medio en el que escribiría durante toda su vida. Por esa época sería amigo de Edgar Neville, Ramón Gómez de la Serna o María Zambrano, entre otros escritores de diversas tendencias.

Como diplomático fue destinado a Sofía y a Bucarest, publicando en 1933 su primer libro de poemas, La niña del caracol, editado y prologado por Manuel Altolaguirre. Dice Umbral que en aquella época los miembros de la Generación del 27 y los escritores falangistas, de los que Foxá sería pieza clave, andaban mezclados, pues eran la misma cosa, aunque él se alejaría de ellos tras la contienda con su artículo acusatorio Los Homeros rojos, en el que Sender, Cernuda, Altolaguirre, Alberti o Miguel Hernández eran «tristes Homeros de una ilíada de derrotas».

Falangista de primera hora, mantenía una relación de amistad con el fundador de Falange, quizás más literaria que política, lo que no quiere decir que Foxá, un esteticista ante todo, no tuviera en aquellos momentos un compromiso político con el falangismo. Asiduo a las tertulias de La ballena alegre, formó parte de la llamada «corte literaria» de José Antonio junto con Rafael Sánchez Mazas, Dionisio Ridruejo, José María Alfaro, Jacinto Miquelarena o Pedro Mourlane Michelena, entre otros. Con algunos de ellos compondría la letra del Cara al sol, momento que narra en su propia novela, Madrid, de corte a checa, en la que se atribuye a sí mismo los versos con los que comienza el himno:

Cara al sol, con la camisa nueva
que tú bordaste en rojo ayer

Tras publicar su segundo libro de poemas, El toro, la muerte y el agua, con prólogo de Manuel Machado, la guerra le sorprende en la embajada de Bucarest, que abandona para sumarse al bando de los sublevados tras hacer de doble agente durante varios meses. Ya en el lado franquista, en Salamanca, se reúne con el resto de intelectuales falangistas en las mesas del café Novelty. Umbral, que denomina a este grupo como «los laínes» por estar liderados por Laín Entralgo, lo retrata de esta manera:

Agustín de Foxá, gordo y dandi al mismo tiempo, cínico y patriota, contradictorio y brillante, lee cada noche, en la tertulia del café, un capítulo de la novela que está escribiendo, Madrid de Corte a checa.

En Salamanca Foxá escribiría su novela más conocida concibiéndola como un episodio nacional, al modo de los de Galdós, a la que se sucederían otras dos: Misión en Bucarest y Salamanca, cuartel general. La primera de ellas se publicaría a la muerte del autor, la segunda, tercera de la trilogía, desaparecería y no llegaría nunca a editarse.

Foxá escribiría otras muchas obras. Poesía, como El almendro y la espada, Poemas a Italia y El gallo y la muerte y también teatro, en prosa y en verso: Cui-Ping-Sing, El beso a la bella durmiente, Baile en capitanía, Gente que pasa… Además, siguió colaborando con diversas publicaciones del régimen, como Vértice y Jerarquía o la publicación bilingüe hispano-italiana Legiones y Falange, que él mismo dirigió, a la vez que seguía escribiendo en ABC.

Mientras, recorrería el mundo ostentando diversos cargos diplomáticos en representación del gobierno de Franco, acrecentando su fama de hombre brillante, irónico y, en muchas ocasiones, cínico. Al terminar la Guerra Civil, y ya en medio de la Segunda Guerra Mundial, es destinado a Roma. Allí, su incontrolable lengua volvería a meterle en apuros.

Cuentan numerosas crónicas, así que suponemos que será verdad, que estando en una cena con diversos miembros del cuerpo diplomático y del gobierno italiano, el conde Galeazzo Ciano, ministro de Asuntos Exteriores de Mussolini —además de su yerno—, se le acercó y le reprochó a Foxá sus desmanes con la bebida cosa que, por otra parte, no constituía ninguna novedad, a lo que el conde de Foxá, molesto, respondió con una gracia que le acabaría pos costar el puesto y casi la cabeza. La escena ocurrió más o menos de esta manera:

Ciano: Señor de Foxá, la bebida acabará matándolo.

Foxá: Al menos a mí no me matará Marcial Lalanda.

Ciano tenía fama de cornudo en toda Italia y Marcial Lalanda era el torero de moda durante aquellos años en España por lo que, cuando se le tradujo la ocurrencia a Ciano, entró en cólera y allí mismo intentó retarlo a duelo. Se da el caso de que Foxá acusaba al italiano de lo mismo que a él le habían reprochado en España hasta la saciedad, solo que él se lo tomaba con más humor.

Serrano Súñer, homólogo español del conde italiano, y cuñado de Franco, «el cuñadísimo», cuenta en sus memorias políticas cómo Ciano presionaba de forma vehemente para que se expulsara a Foxá de Italia, llegando incluso a acusarle ante el gobierno español de espía de los aliados.

Serrano, que era amigo de Foxá y buen conocedor de su carácter y de sus ocurrencias, acabó, en una llamada telefónica con Ciano, por sentenciar el asunto:

—El camarada Foxá saldrá de Italia por chistoso, pero no por espía.

Tras la aventura italiana desembarcaría en Helsinki, como ministro de España, en un país aliado de la Alemania nazi que libraba una guerra atroz con la Unión Soviética, en la que el frío y el terreno estaban del lado de los finlandeses. Allí coincidirá con Curzio Malaparte, que andaba por allí como corresponsal de guerra, otro heterodoxo, que lo convertiría en personaje literario de su célebre Kaputt, para muchos una de las mejores novelas que ha alumbrado el siglo XX sobre la barbarie de la guerra.

Malaparte y Foxá se convertirían en inseparables durante la estancia de ambos en el país nórdico. El italiano, otro escritor sin pelos en la lengua, resulta un aliado imprescindible durante las aburridas cenas y fiestas del cuerpo diplomático. Así se muestra en Kaputt, en la que el escritor italiano reproduce una gran cantidad de diálogos que concuerdan con la personalidad del español. En muchas ocasiones Malaparte intenta contener al conde cuando sus bromas, a veces potenciadas por el alcohol o por el orgullo, les ponen en un aprieto ante los altos mandos militares finlandeses y alemanes.

Foxá no solo acompañaría a Malaparte en sus correrías por Helsinki, sino que también irá con él al frente en varias ocasiones. El italiano relata una anécdota ocurrida en una de esas visitas que bien podría valernos para hacernos una idea de la personalidad del conde, si bien es cierto que no sabemos hasta qué punto la historia pueda ser real.

Cuenta Malaparte que cuando llegaron a las afueras de Leningrado, divisaron a lo lejos a dos siberianos que intentaban trasladar un abeto por la nieve. Este es el fragmento:

El coronel Lukander se volvió hacia De Foxá y le dijo:

―Señor ministro, ¿desea que mande lanzar un par de granadas contra esos dos hombres?

De Foxá, envuelto torpemente en un traje blanco de esquiador, miró al coronel Lukander desde debajo de su capucha.

―Es Viernes Santo, respondió, ¿por qué han de pesarme esos dos hombres en la conciencia precisamente hoy? Si de veras quiere hacerme un favor, no dispare.

El coronel Lukander parecía asombrado.

―Hemos venido aquí a hacer la guerra― dijo.

―Tiene razón ―replicó De Foxá―, pero yo aquí no soy más que un turista.

El coronel, estupefacto, mandó lanzar las dos granadas que, por poco, no alcanzan a los dos rusos. Sin embargo, los rusos, en vez de salir corriendo, continuaron transportando el abeto. Foxá, sonrió y dijo con voz afligida:

―¡Lástima que sea Viernes Santo! ¡Me hubiera gustado ver volar en pedazos a ese par de valientes!

Además de hacer cómplice a Foxá de algunas de sus aventuras en diferentes capítulos de Kaputt, Malaparte ofrece su propia visión sobre el diplomático hispano. Así, al italiano le resulta muy interesante cómo, a pesar de pertenecer al bando franquista, Foxá analiza las razones del bando republicano y le habla de los diarios del presidente de la República, Manuel Azaña, destacando como este se había distanciado de los acontecimientos y de los personajes que lo rodeaban. Malaparte lo definiría de la siguiente manera:

Que fuera el representante de la España de Franco en Finlandia (Hubert Guérin, ministro de la Francia de Pétain, llamaba a De Foxá «el ministro de la España de Vichy») no le impedía reírse con desprecio de Franco y su revolución. De Foxá pertenecía a esa joven generación de españoles que había intentado encontrarle un fundamento feudal y católico al marxismo y, como él mismo decía, una teología al leninismo, conciliar la vieja España católica y tradicional con la joven Europa obrera. Pasado el tiempo, se reía de las ambiciosas ilusiones de su generación y del fracaso de esa trágica y ridícula tentativa.

No sabemos lo que ocurrió después entre ellos, pues Malaparte se referiría a él en términos poco agradables en La piel, la otra gran novela del italiano y, cuando se le preguntó al español por él, este contestó: «prefiero a Bonaparte». Lo cierto es que su personalidad le llevó a convertirse en personaje literario de esas grandísimas obras.

Tras la Segunda Guerra Mundial seguiría su periplo por diferentes países en tareas diplomáticas hasta enfermar gravemente en Filipinas, su último destino. La enfermedad no le restó ni el humor ni el talento. Cuando le subían en camilla al avión que le llevaría a morir en España susurró: «Soy el último de Filipinas».

Foxá, como diría Umbral, era un dandi cínico que escribía mejor que nadie y que se burlaba, más o menos, de todo el mundo. Tuvo incluso el atrevimiento y el ingenio de condenar el régimen franquista, comparándolo con una tribu que pone moldes en los cráneos de sus miembros para que todos tengan la cabeza igual de cuadrada. El artículo, Los cráneos deformados, le valió el premio Mariano de Cavia, solo que todos pensaron que se refería a la Rusia comunista y no a nuestro país.

No mucho antes de fallecer, escribiría estos versos con los que, al igual que él terminó su vida, nosotros concluimos nuestro artículo. Un enorme poeta tras una máscara de cínico.

Melancolía del desaparecer

Y pensar que, de después que yo me muera,
aún surgirán mañanas luminosas,
que bajo un cielo azul, la primavera
indiferente a mi mansión postrera
encarnará en la seda de las rosas.
Y pensar que, desnuda, azul, lasciva,
sobre mis huesos danzará la vida,
y que habrá nuevos cielos de escarlata,
bañados por la luz del sol poniente
y noches llenas de esa luz de plata,
que inundaban mi vieja serenata
cuando aún cantaba Dios bajo mi frente.
Y pensar que no puedo en mi egoísmo
llevarme al sol ni al cielo ni en mi mortaja;
que he de marchar, yo solo hacia el abismo,
y que la luna brillará lo mismo
y ya no la veré desde mi caja.

(Agustín de Foxá)

One popular subreddit, Explain Like I'm Five, is where you can find answers to questions dumbed down enough for five-year-olds to understand them. (What is Obamacare? What does the One Ring actually do?) But Explain Like I Am A takes things a step further:

Explain color like I'm blind.
Explain the possible North Korea vs. USA conflict like I have spent the last 5 months playing Civilization V
Explain how the female orgasm feels like I'm a man (and Explain what an erection feels like like I'm a woman)
Explain how war really is like I'm a 12 year old boy who plays Call of Duty for the "realism".
Explain C++ like IamA programmer from 1979 who only knows BASIC and you are Mufasa
Explain quantum physics like you are a writer for Cracked / I am completely terrified by words featuring any more than 4 letters.

Colonel Meow is the world's furriest cat, entering the Guinness Book of Records thanks to his 22.87cm (9in) mane.

Teaching Cliteracy 101: "It is a curious dilemma to observe the paradox that on the one hand the female body is the primary metaphor for sexuality, its use saturates advertising, art and the mainstream erotic imaginary. Yet, the clitoris, the true female sexual organ, is virtually invisible." ~ Artist Sophia Wallace is using street art and an art exhibition that incorporates pithy slogans, 'scientific data, historical information as well as references to architecture, porn, pop culture and human rights' to make "the case for the clit". (Links throughout this post may be NSFW.)

Wallace's Site.

The comment she makes at the beginning of the HuffPost article, that "scientifically, the clitoris was only discovered in 1998," is not precisely true. However, this image on tumblr indicates what she meant: "Epistemic grasp of the precise anatomy, function, complexity and external and internal scale of the clitoris discovered by Helen O'Connell in 1998" More on O'Connell's research from the Museum of Sex. Also see: Previously on MeFi.

Posts tagged "cliteracy" on Tumblr and Instagram. Femina Invicta has a post that shows some of Wallace's "100 Natural Laws."

Early to Bed: [The Cliteracy 101] series is a fresh and sometimes humorous take on Ann Koedt's 1970 essay, The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm.

Sort of related: On Pink: CLITeracy 101: What I Wish I'd Have Learned About My Body Years Ago.

Most people, including social scientists, think about poverty in one of two ways. Either they view the behaviors of the poor as rational, "calculated adaptations to prevailing circumstances", or as the result of deviant values and character flaws stemming from, and perpetuating, a "culture of poverty". A third view is emerging in which "the poor may exhibit the same basic weaknesses and biases as do people from other walks of life, except that in poverty, with its narrow margins for error, the same behaviors often manifest themselves in more pronounced ways and can lead to worse outcomes." "It's not that foolish choices make you poor; it's that poverty's effects on the mind lead to bad choices." (original research, pdf)

Previously.

The 1976 BBC drama I, Claudius, an adaptation of Robert Graves's novels I, Claudius and Claudius the God, which came out in 1934 and 1935, respectively, is on YouTube in its entirety.

Play along this Labor Day weekend with the I, Claudius drinking game: Previously.

To help you keep track, here's the Julio-Claudian family tree from the excellent History of Rome Podcast.

Episode One: A Touch of Murder

Episode Two: Waiting in the Wings

Episode Three: What Shall We Do About Claudius?

Episode Four: Poison Is Queen

Episode Five: Some Justice

Episode Six: Queen of Heaven

Episode Seven: Reign of Terror

Episode Eight: Zeus, by Jove!

Episode Nine: Hail Who?

Episode Ten: Fool's Luck

Episode Eleven: A God in Colchester

Episode Twelve: Old King Log

And if you want to brush up on some of the sources, here are Tacitus's Annals, Suetonius's Lives of the Twelve Caesars, and Cassius Dio's Roman History.

70 years ago today in Philadelphia, PA, a weirdo was born. He grew up in a spectacularly dysfunctional family, angry, alienated and beset by bizarre sexual compulsions, mostly involving girls with giant butts. But following those early years of bitter struggle, he became a celebrated cartoonist, musician and misanthrope whose controversial, hilarious (and just as often despairing) art transformed funnybooks and American society. His name is R. Crumb.

His pioneering "underground comix", featuring characters like Mr. Natural and Fritz the Cat, made him an unlikely counterculture hero in the 1960s. But he was never really at home with the idealistic hippies, and in the 1970s and 80s his work took on a more scathing, confessional tone as his draftsmanship became increasingly meticulous. Crumb found a whole new audience in 1995, following the release of Terry Zwigoff's revelatory, award-winning documentary, Crumb. Crumb reacted to his newfound fame with predictable disdain, and fled to the South of France, where has lived ever since.

While it's been many years since Crumb was regularly producing new comic books, he has still been quite active. In 2009 he published his longest work to date, a surprisingly straightforward adaptation of Genesis. More recently he has been indulging his love of old-timey music, performing with the East River String Band, becoming a semi-regular guest on the John's Old-Time Radio Show podcast, and even starring as a lovelorn geek in one of the band's music videos.

And yeah, he's the Keep on Truckin' guy. He'd rather not talk about it.

The human immunodeficiency virus, up close. Via NIAID

Last year, when the AIDS Healthcare Federation (AHF) poked their heads into pornography and started the initial push for Measure B, a rarely enforced law that requires condoms to be used in pornography produced in Los Angeles County, high-minded reformers like AHF president Michael Weinstein seemed to have an obvious misunderstanding of how porn works. Like Marie Antoinette’s debunked “Let them eat cake” quip, Weinstein’s “Make them wear condoms” solution to the potential spread of STIs in the business was misguided at best. Weinstein—who I like to imagine wearing an intricate ball gown and a towering wig—doesn’t understand the comparative rigor that professionally produced sex scenes entail. The risk of sexually transmitted infections can’t be neatly solved by a few pieces of latex, in pornography or out of it. 

Last week’s news that an adult performer named Cameron Bay tested positive for HIV has brought concern over porn practices back to mainstream attention, but you know what no one is talking about? The heterosexual end of the adult industry has not had a single case of performer-to-performer HIV transmission since 2004. In the few cases since 2004 where an adult performer has tested positive for HIV, porn performers’ self-imposed screening process overseen by the Free Speech Coalition, a nonprofit trade organization, has worked. While incredibly frequent testing has not prevented the rare occasion when a performer has acquired HIV offset, it has successfully prevented them from continuing to perform in sex scenes for long enough to pass HIV on to other performers.

Why not just add the extra preventive step of mandatory condom use? Well, condoms have been known to break even when used properly under typical conditions. But porn, if you’ve ever seen it, rarely features common condom-use cases. Where typical heterosexual intercourse involves three to 13 minutes of penetration, adult films require an average of 45 to 90 minutes. The penises of adult performers are larger than average, and the speed of thrusting is generally more intense. Because sex on a porn set is basically bigger, longer, and harder, potential sexual transmission of Hepatitis C is more of a concern than during a typical recreational sexual encounter. Syphilis can absolutely be transmitted even if a condom remains intact, as contagious syphilitic sores can appear on parts of the body not covered by a condom.

The first thing that needs to be removed from the thinking around sexually transmitted infection prevention is the concept that any sex can be entirely safe. There is no such thing as safe sex. Safer, yes. Safe, no. Declaring even abstinence completely safe is questionable because lack of ejaculation has been tentatively linked to prostate cancer.

For Cameron Bay, the diagnosis is life changing. But despite the terrible news, she has helped track potential exposures. Cameron should be applauded for this. If I had a company, I’d offer her a desk job (distributors, producers, and sex toy manufacturers, I am looking at you). To my knowledge no other performers working in the heterosexual pornographic film industry have tested positive, implying that Cameron acquired HIV outside of the adult industry and did not transmit it to any other performers. Public speculation about what specific activities in her personal life could have exposed her to this infection is rude and a horrible way for the adult industry to repay her for being so open with her test results and recent sexual history.

While the AHF was busy getting Measure B passed and California State Assemblyman Isadore Hall was proposing AB 332 and now AB 640 (laws that do or would require condom use in adult films, in addition to the already existing California Occupational Safety and Health Adminstration regulations) the adult industry has continued to take steps to improve its self-imposed testing system. Neither use of barriers or our testing system are completely failsafe. In one ideal world, we all use condoms that never break or fall off and syphilis just doesn’t exist. In the other ideal world, all potential adult performers are tested, quarantined for a month before being retested, and never engage in any potentially risky behaviors off set. The problem with both ideals is that human error and human irresponsibility will always exist. The AHF cannot prevent adult productions from moving out of the jurisdiction of Los Angeles County or California entirely, and the adult production studios cannot put all of the performers on an island somewhere with no exposure to potentially infected sexual partners or dirty needles.

The most grounded and realistic things I’ve heard being said in all of this are coming out of the mouths of performers, and neither the AHF or the Free Speech Coalition (the organization which is now responsible for keeping STD test records in a way that does not violate the HIPAA Privacy Act and dealing with tracking of potential exposures in the event of a positive test) seem to be doing much listening to us. 

In my ideal world, the people who are supposedly concerned with the health and well-being of adult performers would listen to us as a group. They would actively hear our concerns and communicate useful information. Rather than government mandated condom use and the avoidance of those laws, adult performers would continue to use regular testing and have an actual option to use a condom whenever they please. We would also all receive enough basic education to understand that there will always be a risk, with condoms or without. 

Basic sexual education used to be provided to every performer entering the adult industry by AIM (Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation), which closed in 2011. When a performer came in to AIM for the first time they were shown a Porn 101 video. The people who handled paperwork and took our blood gently suggested that we get vaccinated for Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and HPV if applicable. For my first year or so in the adult industry, the phlebotomists there would ask how I was adjusting to Los Angeles and whether I was having trouble coping with the stigma of working in porn. While we do have the FSC and their PASS system for verifying the validity of tests, we no longer have the support and education that AIM provided. Whatever faults Sharon Mitchell (the founder of AIM) had, her involvement in the organization governing performer health is sorely missed. She advocated for performers in a way that other groups do not, possibly because Sharon Mitchell had been a performer herself. Maybe those of us who are adult performers need to organize and educate each other now, but we aren't going to make anything safer by sitting around and being told to eat cake.

@Stoya

Previously - Feminism and Me

by Bradford Evans

In the spring, Fred Armisen debuted a website and a free EP for his SNL late '70s punk rock character Ian Rubbish, and now, Armisen's done an entire interview as Rubbish with the newspaper Willamette Week to promote his  variety show at the Portland music festival MNFW, which will feature Rubbish as Armisen's opening act.

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Directed and produced by Ethan Higbee and Adam Bhala Lough, The Upsetter lets its central character, creative wild man Lee “Scratch” Perry, be his loosey goosey self (as if anybody could stop him) while he takes the viewer on a meandering voyage through his surreal world of tripped-out visions and sublime sonics.

Perry carries the history of reggae in every cell of his body and the glimpses we get of his life, through archival and new footage, is seductive, crazy and jubilant. The mercurial man is as elusive as a stoned butterfly, but in between the patois, jive talk and cosmic gibberish, the light seeps through.

The Upsetter attempts to put Perry into a larger context in terms of reggae’s roots and evolution, but the man is such a force of nature that most everything in the film, other than its subject, is beclouded by the whirlwind of cosmic dust Lee Perry leaves in his wake. As a reggae documentary, the movie is rudimentary. As a glimpse into the mind of Perry, it’s essential and fucking nuts. 

Narrated by Benico Del Toro.

Enjoy.
 

 

 

Jeremy Kaye expresses this wisdom: wisdom is overrated. Boosting your stat by 10 points will do nothing but show you your failures in life. Go for increased strength, dexterity or just plain gold pieces.

Link

This "impossible" jigsaw puzzle is borderline criminal genius! Now, if they only make it in all white:

Ben Popper writes about the increased faith in strangers and falling crime rates that are enabling services like Lyft, AirBNB, TaskRabbit, and others in the new "sharing economy".

"There is another long-term trend at play here: the sustained and significant drop in the rate of violent crime across the nation over the past few decades. This is especially true in the metropolitan areas where the majority of the startups at the forefront of the sharing economy have taken root. The most dangerous precincts in New York City now report less violent crime than the safest areas did back in 1993. San Francisco's murder rate has dropped to levels not seen since the 1960s."

Try a Little Tenderness, a classic of R&B, and Otis Redding, in this 1967 version, recorded the day before he died, nailed it... in 1969, this old Italian guy, Jimmy Durante found that same soul feeling.... Try a Little Tenderness And, if you enjoyed that... here's more of the Schnoz: Make Someone Happy I'll Be Seeing You Young At Heart As Time Goes By Inka Dinka Doo And, of course... Good Night Mrs. Calabash, Wherever You Are

Hasbro took a vote, and the internet has spoken. Not content to simply remove the losing token from the game, Hasbro will send the offending piece directly—and permanently—to jail. The ballots have been counted, and the people have said F the iron—the new Monopoly token will be a cat.

Purists of the board game might not like the move, but game-maker Hasbro let the cat -- in huge form -- roam around London this week.

Six of the current pieces were in that first set; the Scottie dog and wheelbarrow came along in the early 1950s. In the late 1990s, fans voted for a money bag that was added as a bonus. Soon after, the cannon and horse tokens were removed, shrinking the token total to eight from 10. The new tokens are a reflection of Hasbro's desire to freshen the brand, says Jonathan Berkowitz, vice president of marketing for Hasbro Gaming. The company began with about 100 ideas for tokens and whittled the number to five by paying attention to the conversations its 10 million Facebook fans were having about their favorite pieces.

Oddsmaker R.J. Bell of Pregame.com says the wheelbarrow has the best odds, 2-1, of being ousted because of "unstable board play" and it being "even less attractive to aspiring tycoons in today's wired world." That's followed by the iron at 5-1 ("Who wants to iron in 2013?"); thimble, 6-1; battleship, 7-1; shoe, 8-1; and hat, 20-1. The two he thinks are pretty safe are the Scottie dog at 25-1 ("No one chooses to retire a dog") and the race car, 30-1 ("Only if they want half as many kids to play").