Shared posts

27 Jul 16:03

Kidnapped

by Reza
Alisongrinter

Best one in awhile.

kidnapped

27 Jul 12:45

This Phone Charger Will Turn Your Car Into KITT From ‘Knight Rider’

by Aaron
Alisongrinter

Very fun for maybe one whole hour

Back in June, it was brought to our attention that Knight Rider‘s KITT — Michael Knight’s talking T Top Trans Am (say that five times fast!) — was going up for auction. Since all us fans are assumedly unable to afford such an investment, ThinkGeek is here with the next best thing: a cell phone charger!

I know what you might be thinking, but bear with me. You see, not only is this gadget capable of charging other gadgets, but it looks exactly like KITT’s high-tech but corny looking voice modulator. One final detail worth noting is the charger’s ability to say 11 different phrases made popular in the original ’80s TV show.

This really is great news, you guys. I can break my David Hasselhoff mask out of storage!

(Via ThinkGeek, H/T ComicBook)

23 Jul 12:40

Here’s How Much You’ll Pay For Beer At Every Baseball Stadium

by austinngaruiya
Alisongrinter

This is an excellent use of the internet. Also math.

simpsons beer

Fox


Consuming a live baseball game in the summertime is not complete without an ice cold beer. Around the MLB, different stadiums contain different food items and specials, but beer is a staple. Some teams will pillage your desire for beer to make an extra buck, and some teams won’t (sorry, Red Sox fans). But to see how great the deal at your local ball park is compared to the rest of the league, the folks at Vine Pair put together this fun infographic to illustrate the variance.


More than a century without a World Series title, and Cubs fans are still paying more for beer than any other fan base. Also, the mystique of Fenway Park takes a hit when you consider that you’re paying $7.25 for what’s most likely a shoddy light beer. On the other hand, Diamondback games must be rowdy and fun as hell. Fans can get drunk for a very low price. There’s nothing more American than that.

(Vine Pair)

24 Jul 13:30

Kelly Osbourne Announces New Gig Since Leaving Fashion Police

by Marie Lodi
Alisongrinter

Project Runway Junior!!

Kelly Osbourne has signed on as a judge for Lifetime’s new kids competition show, Project Runway Junior. The series, hosted by Tim Gunn and supermodel Hannah Davis, will allow teen fashion designers, aged 14 to 17, to show off their talents. The show’s other judges include designer Christian Siriano, winner of Project Runway’s fourth season and Aya Kanai, executive fashion editor at Cosmopolitan and Seventeen.

Read more...










24 Jul 13:00

Ranking NFL Mascots By Creepiness

by drawplaydave


Title slate

DrawPlayDave


Mascots are creepy. They have big heads, dead soulless eyes, and do not make noise. They are terrifying. Some, however, are more terrifying than others. While there are those that are merely make us a bit uncomfortable, some are otherworldly horrors that haunt you for years.

The NFL has 28 mascots. The only teams without these bastions of terror are the Jets, Giants, Packers, and Redskins. The Packers unofficial mascot is a giant cheese sausage. The Jets had Fireman Ed, sort of. The Giants have every Italian named Tony. The Redskins, well, with that name I’m just glad they don’t have a mascot because I’m sure it would be awful.

As for the rest of them, lets take a look as these monstrosities:

Texans

DrawPlayDave


28. Toro
Toro is adorable. Look at how happy he is. Toro isn’t creepy; he’s just glad to be alive. Toro had a run in with cancer at a young age and didn’t expect to live, then pulled through and is now cancer free. He now lives his life to the fullest. An eternal optimist, you can only hate Toro if you have no soul. LOOK AT THAT FACE AWW I JUST WANNA PINCH IT.

Panthers

27. Sir Purr
Sir Purr is harmless. He has an innocent cuteness to him.

 

Rams

26. Rampage
Rampage is kinda weird but he’s not terribly creepy. He’s like that kid who ate his boogers in school, but not quite the kid who wore all black, missed half of classes, smoked, and didn’t come back at all one day. Nah, he’s just kinda weird. Probably in the yearbook club.

Cardinals


25. Big Red
Big Red isn’t too creepy. He looks pretty friendly, but he also looks like he does CrossFit and won’t shut up about it. Will likely come up to you in the gym locker room while naked and try to have a conversation and act like it isn’t weird.

Bengals

DrawPlayDave


24. Who Dey
Named after the chant of bastardized English said by Bengals fans everywhere, Who Dey isn’t too creepy. Tigers are cute and the happy grin, whiskers and white fuzz gives a nice charm to this fellow. He looks like your well-meaning aunt at thanksgiving that you don’t want to talk to, but don’t feel particularly threatened by.

Bills
23. Billy Buffalo
The Bills mascot isn’t too creepy. Buffalo are big lumbering dopey animals, and making it a funny color of blue lessens the creep factor. The Bills as a team give fans enough nightmares already; there’s no need for the mascot to add to that.

 

Titans


22. T-Rac
The Titans of Tennessee’s mascot, who before this article I have never even heard of, is named T-Rac, which seems to be short for Terrible Racoon. This is Nashville, Tennessee. Why is the mascot not Elvis? Anyway the mascot is fairly generic and forgettable, just like the Titans.

lions

DrawPlayDave


21. Roary
Roary is a big pussycat, except if you’re Jamaal Charles. He’s not too creepy but you probably don’t want your kid making friends with him and inviting him over.

Bears

20. Staley Da Bear
Staley is just sick of your sh*t. He’s had enough. He’s an old bear. He’s tired. He’s sick of people. He’s two weeks from retirement and he’s not going to let you f*ck this up for him, so stay out of his way. You’ve heard the stories of his early days in the mascot force, didn’t you? The rumors of his brutality and what he’s gotten away with? Best just to steer clear.

 

Swoop


19. Swoop
Swoop is a troubled bird. Spending so long on the endangered list made him edgy, and he had to kill some people to survive. Now he has a taste for blood. He wants to contain it, to be a normal bird again… but he lost his innocence. He cannot fight his urges. He must feed.

Jags

18. Jaxson De Ville
First off, we don’t know if Jaxson will even come back as the man who’s been in the suit called it quits after 19 years of bungee jumps, paintballs, ebola towels and general tomfoolery. But if Jaxson’s legacy carries on, he’s still not even that creepy. Jaxson is a bro. He’s the guy in your friend circle who would do anything on a bet. Ride a shopping cart down the hill, streak through the girls dorms, throw up at every party. If you woke up in the middle of the night to see Jaxson at the foot of your bed, it’s probably because he’s drunk and forgot which room was his.

Dolphins

17. T.D.
The result of genetic experiments and the star of several SyFy originals, T.D. (or Terrible Dolphin) will take his giant foam mouth and attempt to consume your head. Everyone will laugh, but when your head is in there getting foam eaten you’ll get this weird vibe that he’s actually legitimately trying to eat you and may come back to find you when you’re alone and cut you into little pieces so he can fit them in his mouth easier.

Chiefs


16. KC Wolf
KC Wolf looks like Wily Coyote suffering from CTE after all those knocks to the head from anvils and giant hammers. His eyes don’t look ahead and he probably doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s more doofy than creepy, but his freakishly long neck does impose some creep factor. Also why is his unibrow brown when nothing else on him is? Well unless the carpet matches the… blinds? I guess?

Browns

15. Chomps
Chomps has a friendly dog mouth, though there is hate in his eyes. The hate of a dogman that likes you, but wants to fight you and he won’t play fair. He’s jealous of you. He wants you gone. He’s just waiting for his moment. Also why does he have the most ineffective helmet ever?

49ers

14. Sourdough Sam
Why are all the human mascots so damn creepy? This guy looks like the uncle that used to touch you. Uncle Sam, why?

Bucs


13. Captain Fear
Captain Fear might be the human mascot that had the greatest potential for creep factor, or awesome factor, but really he just looks like he’s about to piss himself. Apparently his name refers to his own terrified nature.

Seahawks

12. Blitz
Blitz has a knowing grin. He knows he has control over you. He knows you can’t run, and he knows you know you can’t run. He’s toying with you, letting you worry yourself down. That’s when the experiments begin.

Falcons

11. Freddie Falcon
I’ll be honest, I didn’t know the Falcons had a mascot, or that it would look like someone gave a dead brown bush owl eyes. Freddie looks like you’d stumble upon him in the backroom of a party doing something unspeakable and then try to get you involved.

 

Raiders


10. Raider Rusher
You know that horrible comic/Saturday morning cartoon NFL RUSH ZONE? Yeah, the Raiders literally lifted their mascot from that. Of course, the show is filled with creepy team monster people who are heads with limbs. That’s a great image to sell young children!

 

Vikings

9. Viktor
The Vikings effectively have two mascots, Ragnar (Who is just a human being dressed as a Viking) and Viktor, the standard big headed creepy thing. Viktor looks like Hulk Hogan went into a super soldier program and gave himself heightened, unquenchable aggression and he just broke free of his containment cell and the power cut out and HE’S COMING HE ALREADY KILLED DOCTOR MAGNUS

Cowboys

DrawPlayDave


8. Rowdy
Rowdy is that creepy kid who works down on “that” farm with “that” family. The kind of family that always talks about what a good boy Rowdy is when he brings home his latest kidnapping victim for their Sunday meal. Oooh… he’s such a good boy, my Rowdy… he cares about his mama *CHOP CHOP*

Saints


7. Sir Saint
The Saints have two mascots, Sir Saint, seen here in all his ball chinned glory, and Gumbo, a lovable saint Bernard who would easily be ranked “least creepy mascot” if I included him on this list. So I didn’t and went with the elephant man. Sir Saint lives in that big old Victorian house at the end of Hallow’s Court, you know the one with the ivy covering the big black gates. Nobody’s seen him for years, but teenagers like to play a game of how long can you stay in his yard without running away… and that’s when he is seen. A freakish monster of a man, more tumor than human. He hasn’t caught anyone yet… that you know of.

 

Broncos

6. Miles
What the hell. Look at that head. It’s almost xenomorph-esque in shape and size. Why is it angry? Why does it not have individual teeth? Stop looking at me like that! Stop it! Get away, get away now! HORSES AREN’T SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE SEXUAL PREDATORS.

 

Colts

5. Blue
Blue is a thing of nightmares. The eyes don’t look the same way. It looks mentally challenged but strong. The jaw… WHY IS THE LOWER LIP SEPARATE FROM THE JAW. This may look goofy and silly but this is the kind of mascot you see down a dark alley doing something weird with it’s back turned to you, and when you try to get a closer look, the head slowly turns around and oh god there’s blood everywhere oh god what happened to that man’s face HE SEES YOU OH GOD RUN

Ravens

DrawPlayDave



4. Poe
The Ravens used to have Edgar, Allen and Poe as a mascot trio but decided they only wanted to pay one guy now, so they narrowed it to Poe. Poe kind of looks like those creepy  old doctor masks but with even less soul in the eyes. Poe will totally be a friendly guy during the day, but if you came across this guy alone at night, you’re probably going to die.

 

Steelers

3. Steely McBeam
The blue-collar version of Pat Patriot. Steely looks like a dad who just randomly snapped and murdered his whole family with a steel pylon. He buries the bodies in the foundations of his buildings. You can run from him and try to escape in the abandoned steel mill, but THIS IS HIS TERRITORY. That’s when you get lost in the maze of production lines and you end up next to the smelter and you see the bones of his previous victims around you, and you know he just led you right where he wanted you

 

Patriots

2. Pat Patriot
He’s required by law to tell you he’s a registered sex offender, but it’s likely he won’t even get that far because if you open your door to him it’s already too late, your body will be found, deflated, floating in the river missing several vital organs the following week.

Chargers

DrawPlayDave


1. Bolt Man
It’s too late. You tried to stop it. You tracked Dr. Richards all over rural Europe to the abandoned castle, and you thought you could make it and interrupt the ceremony before it could be completed. But it was too late, and he has been summoned. The sky opens, large tentacles come down from on high, grabbing the cult members and tearing them to pieces. Lightning strikes the ground all over. The castle splits open and begins to fall into a gaping pit of fire. You run. You run, but that’s when Richards appears in front of you, chanting the glory of his god, his god that is now upon you. You hear a sound that you’ve never heard before and never wish to hear again. Richards looks beyond you, a smile upon his face, a mind so far gone from the realms of comprehension. “HE HAS COME” Richards screams, and he is lifted into the air. His eyes explode, his body begins to ripple and he explodes into red ash. It falls down on you. You can’t move. You sit there, breathing, hearing the otherworldly sounds coming closer. It’s too late. With your final move you turn to face it. Everything turns black.

He has come indeed.

So next week I’ll do NFL Mascot Mouth Eyes.

24 Jul 05:15

Here Are The Best Twitter Reactions To Donald Trump’s New Campaign Hat

by Phoenix

Presidential Candidate Donald Trump Tours U.S. Border In Texas

Getty Image / Matthew Busch


Today the Internet saw Donald Trump walking around with a dorky Dad hat that says, “Make America Great Again.” So the Internet did what it does best, mercilessly make fun of the Trumpster. Here are some of the best and most hilarious tweets about the Trump hat during his campaign stop in Laredo, Texas earlier Thursday:

TRUMP: the hat stays. AIDE: sir, no one has even asked you to remov– TRUMP: the hat stays. luxurious. pic.twitter.com/vbSqHERoNh

— Ethan Booker (@Ethan_Booker) July 23, 2015

You've got 4 billion dollars and you can't get a better looking hat? Really Donald Trump? pic.twitter.com/sZQ3V1xIJa

— LoneStarPrincess (@texsassforever) July 23, 2015

Missed opportunity for the Trump:

donald trump still does not have an online campaign store where one can purchase this hat. pic.twitter.com/qF4PPNAv42

— EJ Baker (@ej__baker) July 23, 2015

The only thing that could make Trump's hat more awesome is if it were written in Comic Sans.

— Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) July 23, 2015

Some good reviews:

I love the #Trump hat. Every hipster in Williamsburg BK will be ironically wearing it this summer. pic.twitter.com/eg7P1ugWIE

— Ben Kissel (@BenKissel) July 23, 2015

Trump should just always wear a hat.

— Zerlina Maxwell (@ZerlinaMaxwell) July 23, 2015

Missed opportunity for reports:

Dear reporters at Trump presser: Ask right now for him to show you the label on where that hat was made.

— Jennifer Hayden (@Scout_Finch) July 23, 2015

Missed opportunity for Texas:

Windy day in TX but Trump has robbed us of watching his hair by wearing a hat.

— Christine (@cmdeb) July 23, 2015

But was this a missed opportunity for Trump to get his message out about illegal immigrants this time?

The biggest news from that Trump border trip was the hat.

— Chris Cillizza (@TheFix) July 23, 2015

Seems like it.

21 Jul 19:30

Sorry Losers And Haters, But These Are Donald Trump’s Worst Tweets

by Josh Kurp
Alisongrinter

The Republican Frontrunner

PGA Grand Slam of Golf Site Announcement at Trump LA

Getty Image


Donald Trump may as well burn the money he’s using to fund his presidential campaign — it would do the same amount of good. The former Celebrity Apprentice host is a national laughingstock, though calling him that is redundant after “former Celebrity Apprentice host.” The love child of Salacious Crumb and Jabba the Hutt is a walking butt plug who picks fights with soldiers who were held captive while fighting for our country; used a stock photo with Nazi soldiers in a campaign ad; and claimed Mexican immigrants, who he called “criminals” and “rapists,” bring “tremendous infectious disease” to America. All that, in only the last two weeks.

He’s the best at being the worst, and these are his WORST (read: most hilarious) tweets.

An 'extremely credible source' has called my office and told me that @BarackObama's birth certificate is a fraud.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 6, 2012

Did we ever find out who this “extremely credible source” was? Probably someone with high-level CIA security clearance, or Trump’s ass, like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura. One of the two.

I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 14, 2012

Other things Donald Trump hasn’t seen: Vietnam, black people, a mirror.

My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012

Trump is a mid-1980s wrestling heel. It’s easy to imagine him in a ring screaming “MY TWITTER HAS BECOME SO POWERFUL” while banging his oiled-up, puffy chest, stopping only to eat garbage. Basically, he’s the Trashman from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

.@katyperry is no bargain but I don't like John Mayer–he dates and tells–be careful Katy (just watch!).

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 19, 2012

This 60-something man, with a model wife 24 years younger than he is, has an unhealthy relationship with Katy Perry and Kristen Stewart (we’ll get to her soon). He loves to neg. “Look, Katy, I think you’re a human monster, but John Mayer is even worse.” To be fair, he’s half right?

While @BetteMidler is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 28, 2012

Go back to the top of this post. This is not a man who should be calling anyone “unattractive.”

Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2012

No one cared about R-Patz and K-Stew in 2012 more than the Donald. There were multiple tweets about what he should do, and why she’s using him, which I love, because it means Trump’s seen at least one Twilight movie. He probably rented out an entire theater for himself, secretly wearing his Taylor Lautner undershirt (he’s Team Jacob, because they both suck).

Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name “F**kface Von Clownstick” like they are so original & like no one else is doing it…

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 3, 2013

F*ckface Von Clownstick is still hilarious, but let’s think of some original names.

-Baron Dickweed
-Count Splooge Manboobs
-*makes fart noise for 15 minute straight*

Now your turn.

Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure,it's not your fault

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 9, 2013

Donald Trump is Homer Simpson chanting, “I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean, S-M-A-R-T.” It’s been proven time and time that IQ tests are fundamentally flawed and meaningless, so anyone who brags about their high score is likely (or in this case, definitely) very dense.

Also, “SORRY LOSERS AND HATERS” is how I’m starting every sentence now. “SORRY LOSERS AND HATERS, but what time can I pick up my dog Gonzo from the groomers?”

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 6, 2012

SORRY LOSERS AND HATERS (it’s catching on), but global warming was invented by the Chinese, as were potholes, the Disney Vault, the extended version of the Friends theme song, the films of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, and that itch on your back that you JUST can’t reach. Everything awful, really, all because they want to have a monopoly on fortune cookies.

It’s science. Look it up.

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country—I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 10, 2014

Obama should take Trump up on his offer (which would be tracked on this bonkers website), and poop in the country club pool, Caddyshack-style. Now that’s MY kind of president.

21 Jul 20:35

These Are Nine Snubbed Nominees From The 2015 MTV Video Music Awards

by Michael Depland
Alisongrinter

Shared for the Shamir video.

Nicki Minaj Beyonce Feelin Myself Video ban

Tidal


Now that the nominations for the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards are out, we can officially move on to the next phase of this whole process: Complaining about every wrong choice they made and who they forgot.

Before we begin, let’s just expedite a few conversations so we can move quickly. Yes, MTV doesn’t play videos anymore because they’re in a market where they can’t compete with YouTube and the immediacy of digital demand. No, we don’t have any of the premium cable channels that MTV actually does play videos on. Yes, Taylor Swift will still be surprised if she wins.

Okay, on with the snubs!

BEST ROCK VIDEO

Snubbed: Tame Impala – “Cause I’m a Man”

This is probably the simplest layup nominee. Tame Impala has been spectacular with their videos leading up to their new album, Currents. Puppets in videos are always a win. Besides, the Arctic Monkeys video that’s nominated is from 2013, so Tame Impala could easily slide into that slot.

Nominees:
Hozier – “Take Me To Church”
Fall Out Boy – “Uma Thurman”
Florence + the Machine – “Ship To Wreck”
Walk the Moon – “Shut Up and Dance”
Arctic Monkeys – “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?”

BEST POP VIDEO

Snubbed: Carly Rae Jepsen – “I Really Like You”

Carly Rae Jepsen has been leading the charge to have the strongest pop album in all of 2015. A good way to do that is releasing a video starring America’s sweetheart, Tom Hanks, lip-syncing your song on the coldest day of the year. How was this not nominated?! A travesty, we say.

Nominees:
Beyoncé – “7/11″
Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud”
Taylor Swift – “Blank Space”
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”
Maroon 5 – “Sugar”

BEST HIP HOP VIDEO

Snubbed: Vic Mensa ft. Kanye West – “U Mad”

Now, we’ll admit, the field here is really strong. This is a category they mostly got right, but Vic Mensa‘s clip for “U Mad” is basically every dark party we’ve ever wanted to attend. Or, essentially, the party we think we’re at, but we’re too drunk to realize it’s kinda lame. Also, ‘Ye is on his mean-muggingest, and it’s perfect for his verse.

Nominees:
Fetty Wap – “Trap Queen”
Nicki Minaj – “Anaconda”
Kendrick Lamar – “Alright”
Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth – “See You Again”
Big Sean ft. E-40 – “I Don’t F–k With You”

BEST COLLABORATION


Snubbed:
Nicki Minaj ft. Beyoncé – “Feeling Myself”

Maybe it’s because people were upset that it was a Tidal exclusive, but once everyone got their hands on it, “Feeling Myself” became a classic vid. Who doesn’t want to be friends with Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj and eat burgers and twerk with them? And hang out in kiddie pools. Hell, we’ll be the quiet friend who just brings stuff. This is a ground floor we want to be on.

Nominees:
Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Bad Blood”
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”
Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth – “See You Again”
Ariana Grande & The Weeknd – “Love Me Harder”
Jessie J + Ariana Grande + Nicki Minaj – “Bang Bang”

VIDEO WITH A SOCIAL MESSAGE

Snubbed: Kira Isabella – “Quarterback”

Kira Isabella may not be a name in country music that you know, but her video for “Quarterback” should definitely change that. Telling a brave story of an unpopular girl who found herself in an all-too-common situation, Kira nails it in a way that’s never pandering, never paternal, but just real and understandable. It’s impossible for you not to feel while watching this clip.


Nominees:

Jennifer Hudson – “I Still Love You”
Colbie Caillat – “Try”
Big Sean ft. Kanye West and John Legend – “One Man Can Change the World”
Rihanna – “American Oxygen”
Wale – “The White Shoes”

ARTIST TO WATCH

Snubbed: Shamir – “On The Regular”

It’s almost unfair that Fetty Wap is nominated here when he’s clearly the runaway favorite. How could he not win: He’s got three songs that are already blowing up the charts. So, we’d like to submit Shamir into the fold. He’s been killing it under the radar for nearly a year, until his debut, Ratchet, finally dropped in May. He has such a big range from dancey to emotional to grimy, and he’s only 20. The sky is the limit here.

Nominees:
Fetty Wap – “Trap Queen”
Vance Joy – “Riptide”
George Ezra – “Budapest”
James Bay – “Hold Back The River”
FKA Twigs – “Pendulum”

BEST FEMALE VIDEO

Snubbed: Jenny Lewis – “She’s Not Me”

Jenny Lewis‘ videos for her most recent album, The Voyager (and really for her whole career), have been top notch. But her visual for “She’s Not Me” basically stirred up all the feelings that made us love her for all this time. With assists from Fred Armisen, Zosia Mamet, Leo Fitzpatrick, Feist, and Vanessa Bayer, she owns up to all of the demons from her child acting past like Troop Beverly Hills, The Wizard, and The Golden Girls. It’s basically futile to resist how charming it all is.

Nominees:
Beyoncé – “7/11″
Taylor Swift – “Blank Space”
Nicki Minaj – “Anaconda”
Sia – “Elastic Heart”
Ellie Goulding – “Love Me Like You Do”

BEST MALE VIDEO

Snubbed: Miguel – “Coffee”

How do you reward what is the best male video? Simply by what’s the best video by a man? No. We’d posit that “Coffee” is the best male video because it’s Miguel at his most virile, pretty much taking charge with his girl in the sexiest, most masculine way possible. This is the kind of video, regardless of gender, that will be burned in the back of your mind for the best reasons. That’s a manly video.

Nominees:
Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud”
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”
Kendrick Lamar – “Alright”
The Weeknd – “Earned It”
Nick Jonas – “Chains”

VIDEO OF THE YEAR

Snubbed: Rihanna – “B*tch Better Have My Money”

This has got to be the biggest snub of all. How was Rihanna‘s revenge masterpiece, “B*tch Better Have My Money,” not nominated at all? For anything? It can’t be the deadline, because the equally deserving “Alright” by Kendrick Lamar dropped in the same week as “BBHMM.” This video was a tour de force and a fundamental shift in her entire aesthetic. It took over the entire music conversation. There must be a concrete reason that it wasn’t nominated. Otherwise, this was a glaring error.

Nominees:
Beyoncé – “7/11″
Ed Sheeran – “Thinking Out Loud”
Taylor Swift ft. Kendrick Lamar – “Bad Blood”
Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars – “Uptown Funk”
Kendrick Lamar – “Alright”

21 Jul 17:10

Scientists Have Re-Engineered Yeast To Produce Snake Venom

by danuproxx
pit viper

Wikimedia Commons/Uajith


It reads like a bad pulp novel plot: Scientists have removed two key genes from yeast, replaced them with pit viper genes, and now the yeast, instead of making the poison we like to drink, is instead making pit viper venom. But this is A) real, and B) done for non-mad-science reasons.

Chinese researchers weren’t looking for the venom; they were looking for a protein in the venom, Agkisacutalin, which is a powerful anticoagulant and useful for preventing heart attacks and strokes, and when separated from that whole “insanely powerful poison that can kill you within five steps” thing, has few side effects. It’s just that to get it, you have to milk pit vipers. Even the Chinese view this as unreasonable, and Chinese worker safety laws mostly boil down to, “Don’t get caught by a Western journalist.” Besides, put that on your resume and you’ll never get a job doing anything else.

There are some issues. Unsurprisingly, the yeast do not take to producing snake venom very well and tend to die after 38 hours of production. But they’re working to scale it up for mass production, and long-term, this could be key in reducing the severity and even preventing strokes and cardiac events. It is also incredibly metal, and that, as we know, is the most important standard when measuring scientific achievement.

(via PopSci)

16 Jul 02:45

There’s A Cobra Loose In Austin And NOPE NOPE NOPE

by Jamie Frevele
Alisongrinter

Burn Austin to the ground.

moonocled-cobra

Shutterstock


An 18-year-old from Texas named Grant Thompson is dead after suffering cardiac arrest as a result of a possible snake bite. When first responders answered a distress call that Thompson was in his car with puncture wounds, a menagerie of animals — including tarantulas and other non-poisonous snakes — was also found… except for a monocled cobra. That snake, which is poisonous, was also missing from a cage in Thompson’s home, which has led investigators to believe that the deadly snake is now on the loose in the Austin area.

Now, an autopsy will have to be conducted to conclude that Thompson’s death was caused by the snake bite, so that is not his official cause of death as of this writing. But it is very suspicious, and police are warning people who come across any snake to just “turn around and walk away.” Do not engage the snake. I repeat: do not engage the motherf*cking snake. But if you see a snake resembling the one above, with the eyeball-looking thing on its back, local reporter Adela Uchida has a phone number you can call:

Austin PD asking for info abt a missing monocled cobra. Call 512-964-5210 if you know something. Call 911 if you see it. DO NOT APPROACH.

— Adela Uchida (@adelauchida) July 16, 2015

Remember: it’s a monocled cobra. Living in Texas. Might be wearing a monocle, might be wearing cowboy boots, will definitely bite and kill you until you’re dead.

Stay safe, Austin.

Source: KXAN

15 Jul 20:59

Could a Catastrophic Earthquake Really Destroy Seattle?

by Eric Holthaus
Alisongrinter

Seattle?! Wasn't California supposed to fall into the ocean? As retributive justice for its wicked and permissive ways? Haven't the people of Washington STATE suffered enough?

The last earthquake of roughly magnitude 9 in the Pacific Northwest happened 75 years before the United States existed. One day, possibly in the not-too-distant future, the Earth’s crust will again convulse in a megaquake. What will happen then will dwarf any natural disaster our country has ever experienced.

14 Jul 16:50

Dallas has patched 32,345 potholes so far this fiscal year, and it's only going to get worse

by Robert Wilonsky
Alisongrinter

How is it possible that there's that much road in Dallas?

On Sunday we intercepted Troy Aikman’s tweet about Dallas’ pothole problem, which came complete with the hashtag: #PotholesEverywhere. To which Preston Hollow’s council member, Jennifer Staubach Gates, responded: “yes I agree our streets need repairs so please move to Dallas so your property taxes can help us repair those potholes.” No response yet from Tony Romo. Or Quincy Carter.

But the city’s interim assistant director of the Department of Street Services did respond to our request for some crucial information:

“As of June 30th the Department of Street Services has repaired approximately 32,345 potholes,” says Raymond Lee via email. “This is a 35 percent increase in pothole repairs compared to this time period last fiscal year (FY13/14 vs. FY14/15). The department will continue to monitor service request and adjust maintenance as necessary to ensure we are as responsive as possible.”

Well, the city auditor says potholes are being repaired promptly. So, clearly, that’s not the problem.

“The root of the problem isn’t the potholes,” says Gates, chair of the council’s Budget, Finance and Audit Committee. “It’s the condition of the streets. It’s the degraded streets. Simple potholes are easily fixed. But there are so many of those. The real problem is the rapidly degrading streets. That’s why the potholes keep happening. Unless we start maintaining our streets at an adequate level, we’ll never catch up.” … [visit site to read more]

10 Jul 15:13

The Robert E. Lee statue in Oak Lawn's Lee Park was spray-painted with 'SHAME'

by Robert Wilonsky
Alisongrinter

They're investigating this! Why?

Tino Banda of the City of Dallas Park and Recreation Department uses a power washer to remove the spray-painted word "Shame" off a confederate statue Friday morning at Robert E. Lee Park in Dallas. (G.J. McCarthy/Staff photographer)

Tino Banda of the City of Dallas Park and Recreation Department uses a power washer to remove the spray-painted word “Shame” off a confederate statue Friday morning at Robert E. Lee Park in Dallas. (G.J. McCarthy/Staff photographer)

[Editor’s note: This item has been updated since it was initially posted.]

Overnight someone vandalized the statue of Robert E. Lee in Oak Lawn’s Lee Park, where two weeks ago a small group of protesters gathered to hold an “un-dedication.”

Park and Recreation Department workers are out there at this very moment trying to vanish the word “SHAME” spray-painted on the monument. The city controls the park; the Lee Park & Arlington Hall Conservancy maintains it.

In a statement released Friday morning, the conservancy says, “This criminal act creates alarm not dialogue, and the entire community is a victim because this park is a peaceful urban oasis. We have begun the repairs and are installing additional security measures immediately.”

Dallas police say they received two calls about the vandalism this morning — around the time South Carolina removed the Confederate flag from its statehouse. The Lee Park vandalism is currently being assigned to an investigator.

Just two weeks ago the conservancy said it supports “open dialogue, peaceful debate and level-headed reflection on this issue and others like it. Many people across the country are engaged in these discussions, and we believe it’s a healthy debate to have, even if it’s difficult.”

The Lee statue is just one of many Confederate symbols spread across Dallas — but, perhaps, the most high-profile of them all.

Revathi Satyu, who has lived in Oak Lawn for 10 years, said the statue should stay put, even as other states scrub symbols of the Confederacy from public places. “I’ve been wondering what was going to happen to the park,” she said. “It’s been here for so long, it’s part of our history.”

Updates to come.

Staff writer Paulina Pineda contributed to this item. … [visit site to read more]

10 Jul 13:50

Scientists Discover Mutant Sharks Living In A Volcano Lair At The Bottom Of The Pacific Ocean

by Mike Bertha
shutterstock_207019240

Shutterstock


Kavachi is a “highly active” underwater volcano off the coast of New Guinea, and — just in time for Shark Week — scientists have discovered that it’s full of live sharks.

The National Geographic Society/Waitt Grants Program’s Brennan Phillips and his expedition team captured film from inside Kavachi. According to National Geographic, Phillips and Co. felt safe exploring the depths of the ocean because they couldn’t hear it rumbling. Really:

“But one of the ways you can tell that Kavachi is erupting is that you can actually hear it—both on the surface and underwater. Anywhere within 10 miles even, you can hear it rumbling in your ears and in your body.” No one heard rumbling, so they prepared to go right to the rim of the crater.

Basically, they were performing a live reenactment of a yet-to-be-made crossover between Pacific Rim and Sharknado, but in the name of actual science. They discovered that Kavachi was full of rays, jellyfish and sharks.

And — as if sharks using a deep-sea volcano as their secret lair wasn’t terrifying enough — Phillips posits that these aren’t normal sharks:

“These large animals are living in what you have to assume is much hotter and much more acidic water, and they’re just hanging out,” Phillips says. “It makes you question what type of extreme environment these animals are adapted to. What sort of changes have they undergone? Are there only certain animals that can withstand it? It is so black and white when you see a human being not able to get anywhere near where these sharks are able to go.”

Great. Super sharks in an underwater volcano lair. That’s cool. Everything’s fine. Totally going to be able to sleep tonight.

/Cancels snorkeling expedition to New Guinea 

/Googles “nightlight delivery service”

(Via io9 and National Geographic)

08 Jul 12:45

‘Uptown Funk Newsies’ Is A Straight-Up Daymaker

by ludditeandroid
Alisongrinter

This is how my morning should be IRL

Only two months ago, Beyoncé was teaching us how life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg. Now, another mashup is bringing back fond ’90s memories about shows we watched every time TBS aired them. (So, once a week, probably?) The year was 1992, and Christian Bale was about to leave child stardom behind to be an even bigger star as an adult, and Disney’s Newsies seemed to be the launching pad. I suppose there were other people in the movie, too, but come on. We weren’t watching Newsies to learn about union movements in 1899.

To that end, when we spotted this jaunty mashup on Tumblr we had to check if it was on YouTube, and it is. Now is a time to seize the day. Don’t believe me? Just watch.

06 Jul 18:30

Introducing the Pseudopenis, or Why Female Hyenas Are Feminist as Fuck

by Kaitlyn Tierney
Alisongrinter

Shared for obvious reasons

Penis means power. The dominance of dicks and those who have them isn’t a coincidence, or the unavoidable consequence of Big Patriarchy keeping women down—rather, it’s a case of simple biology. In most mammalian embryos, the genital tubercle forms very early, later developing into either a penis or a clitoris, subject to a complex cocktail of influential hormones. Androgens like testosterone stimulate penile growth and are also associated with aggression, so the relationship between actual dicks (penises) and figurative dicks (aggressive jerks) is axiomatic. But amazingly, in the case of female-dominant spotted hyena societies, those boss bitches have actually evolved a sort of penis of their own.

Read more...










06 Jul 20:36

GPS tracker links Dallas janitor to nearly $3,000 of stolen shrimp, beef

by Naomi Martin
Alisongrinter

Shared for trunk full of shrimp

Raw Shrimp at Sea Breeze Fish Market and Grill in Plano June 7, 2013. (Nathan Hunsinger/The Dallas Morning News)  Raw Shrimp at Sea Breeze Fish Market and Grill in Plano June 7, 2013. (Nathan … [visit site to read more]

06 Jul 16:36

England Football Association’s Twitter Puts Foot in Mouth With Condescending Tweet - It's just... why?

by Jessica Lachenal
Alisongrinter

England! WTF!

england tweet

Just in case you weren’t keeping up with the Women’s World Cup, here’s a tiny bit of background. England finished in third behind second place Japan and first place (woo!) USA. When the England/Japan game was over, the England Football Association’s official Twitter account shared the fairly condescending (now deleted) tweet above.

Okay, not cool. We can totally see where you were going, @england! It’s just… why? These women were already so much more than simply mothers, partners, and daughters. “Thanks, Lionesses, now go back to being moms, partners, and daughters, and oh yeah, heroes too I guess.”

Just in case you weren’t miffed enough, check out this handy dandy graphic showing some staggering pay gap action on the US side. The US Men’s team were paid four times more than the Women’s team when they lost the World Cup in the first round.

If you weren’t angry enough. Here’s this: pic.twitter.com/BQtAbSBB3P

— Melissa Silverstein (@melsil) July 6, 2015

Gross.

(via The Daily Dot)

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06 Jul 13:35

This French Bulldog Got Outed By A Bullmastiff After Making A Huge Mess

by Stacey Ritzen

This Bullmastiff has clearly never heard the phrase “snitches get stitches,” given how fast she turns on her French Bulldog “friend” who got into the family’s toilet paper. Sure, it was pretty obvious “who made this mess” because of the evidence, but you still don’t do a dawg like that. Unacceptable.

06 Jul 14:07

Kelley O’Hara Perfectly Describes The Excitement Of A World Cup Victory In One Tweet

by isaacand

It’s not a real celebration until someone gets confetti stuck in the crevices of their body. Take note, everyone: You’ve been doing it wrong this whole time. Bless Kelley O’Hara of the USWNT for showing us the way.

When you go to shower and you have gold confetti stuck to your butt. You know it's been a 👌 day #WorldChamps

— Kelley O'Hara (@kohara19) July 6, 2015

Instagram Photo

06 Jul 18:55

This Mom Of The Year Created A Superhero Hearing Aid For Children

by alfikse
MyLugs-Hearing-Aids

My Lugs


It can be hard fitting in when you’re a kid, and it can be especially challenging for children with disabilities. UK mom Sarah Ivermee decided to take steps to make life a bit more fun for her son, Freddie. Due to Congenital CMV, Freddie is completely deaf in one ear and suffers from hearing loss in another. Consequently, he has to wear a cochlear implant, which is normally quite utilitarian looking.

Due to Freddie’s own insecurity over wearing the device and at the encouragement of other moms, Invermee created My Lugs, selling sticker kits and decals to decorate hearing aids with the pop culture images of their choice. Whether it is various superheroes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or the Despicable Me minions, kids now have tons of options to dress up their hearing aids and wear them with pride.

(Via Mashable)

06 Jul 00:00

Girl Fights “Boys Only” Robotics Program, Makes Her Library More Equitable

by Rebecca Vipond Brink
Alisongrinter

Good work, kid!

timmins library robotics
06 Jul 20:05

Russell Wilson Says God Told Him To Lead Ciara Toward Abstaining From Sex

by christmasape
Alisongrinter

I can not draft this man.

President Obama And First Lady Host State Dinner For Japanese PM Shinzo Abe And Akie Abe

Getty Image


Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson has an interesting relationship with God. According to Wilson, God made him play poorly for most of last season’s NFC Championship because God wanted it to have a more dramatic finish. In the latest divine pronouncement to Wilson, God made it clear that his girlfriend, pop star Ciara Harris, shouldn’t be having sex for some reason. At least that’s what Wilson claimed during a Q&A with San Diego pastor Miles McPherson on Sunday

“She was on tour, and I was looking at her in the mirror, and God spoke to me,” Wilson told the pastor. “He said, ‘I need you to lead her.’

“I told her, ‘What would you do if we took all that “extra stuff” off the table, and just did it Jesus’ way?'” the quarterback continued, clarifying that yes, he was “talking about sex.”

“Doing it Jesus’ way” apparently means abstinence. For what it’s worth, Ciara “completely agreed” with the idea, according to Wilson. And that’s fine. Have as much or as little sex as you’d like, you crazy kids. Just make sure all these conversations with God don’t get in the middle of your relationship.

If you’d like to watch nearly an hour of Russell Wilson talking about his girlfriend at a church, you can do that below.

06 Jul 19:25

Yes, Hipsters Are Going To Adult Preschool In Brooklyn

by alfikse
Alisongrinter

Brooklyn. They go hard.


Have you ever thought that you wasted your youth? Not your high school years, when your waistline was as small as your responsibilities. No, do you ever think that you just didn’t enjoy being 4 years old enough? Yes? Well, time to move to Brooklyn then, where Play-Doh and glitter glue awaits.

For the low, low price of $333-$999, Preschool Mastermind will provide month-long courses that include arts and crafts, nap time, show & tell, and other things you enjoyed when you thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls. That is, if you pass the application process, as only ten people are allowed per class:

“Please note, [applications] must be PRINTED and filled out BY HAND,” reads the application instructions. “Think markers, crayons, paint… perhaps this means a trip to the art store — ohh fun! Please read carefully (because this time around, you can read). Most importantly, HAVE FUN with it!”

Founder Michelle Joni Lapidos, who has “nearly half a degree in Early Childhood Education,” was looking for a way to help adults reconnect with their inner child and also find a career that would give her the flexibility to be herself on the job.

“I wanted to be a preschool teacher for many years, so that is what I originally went to college for!” she wrote. “But then I realized that career path meant being chained to a classroom and told that my butt can’t show… AT ALL. So I switched to Fashion Merchandising.”

Her assistant, Candice Kilpatrick, has a master’s degree in teaching and is a former preschool teacher.

Look, millennials get a lot of flack in the media for being irresponsible and self-indulgent, and that’s sometimes an unfair label. However, this whole business really does nothing to disprove those stereotypes.

hipster-nonsense-30-rock

NBC


(Via CBC News)

02 Jul 14:55

The Full Trailer For Netflix’s Wet Hot American Summer is Wild and Hilarious - Wetter and hotter than ever with some new campers

by Charline Jao

Check out all your faves returning to Camp Firewood as 40-50 year old teenagers with some new additions! (Including but not limited to Kristen Wiig, Jon Hamm, Josh Charles, and Jordan Peele. Michael Cera also comes out of nowhere?)  The show will air on July 31st!

(via Entertain This!)

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02 Jul 05:02

Rihanna Glamorizes Kidnapping and Sexual Humiliation in NSFW “Bitch Better Have My Money” Video…Cool?

Alisongrinter

Yes. Cool.

Rihanna’s track “Bitch Better Have My Money” was bound to have a violent video — and lo and behold, the brutal spectacle that was just released, for better or worse, lives up to those expectations. Rihanna and Megaforce directed the video, which fittingly co-stars Hannibal‘s Mads Mikkelsen. … Read More

02 Jul 12:57

Enjoy Watching This Cat Smugly Ruin Its Owner’s Yoga Video

by Stacey Ritzen
Alisongrinter

I don't know why I love this so much.

Cats aren’t good for much other than looking cute and sometimes taking care of household pests by chewing them up and leaving their bloody innards all over the floor. However, one of their hidden talents is their preternatural ability to spectacularly ruin videos people take of themselves doing yoga.

It’s like okay we get it, your finely-tuned yoga body can perform feats that ours could never hope to achieve, especially considering that my back was too stiff to even pick up the laundry basket this morning. But in the end remember that no ones cares less about this fact than your cat.

02 Jul 16:09

Sunset High girls' wrestling coach arrested on charge of improper relationship with student

by Naheed Rajwani
Alisongrinter

They have girls wrestling?

Troy French (Dallas County jail)

Troy French (Dallas County jail)

A girls’ wrestling coach at a Dallas ISD high school is accused of having an improper relationship with … [visit site to read more]

29 Jun 14:10

Remember When 39-Year-Old Jerry Seinfeld Dated a 17-Year-Old?

by Jordan Sargent on Defamer, shared by Kate Dries to Jezebel
Alisongrinter

I do remember that. But being just shy of 17 at the time, I just saw it as poor judgment on her part, not utter nastiness. Which oh lord. Utter nastiness.

1993 was a good year for Jerry Seinfeld. His sitcom, which was on its way to becoming one of the most celebrated shows in television history, won an Emmy in the category of “Outstanding Comedy Series” for the first and only time. And, just a hair shy of 40, he met a woman who would capture his heart: a high school student he picked up one day in Central Park.

Read more...










29 Jun 13:00

Monday Cute: Raccoon Parent Teaches Its Baby to Climb a Tree - They grow up so fast.

by Charline Jao
Alisongrinter

See? See what I'm doing?

Watch a mother raccoon teach her baby to climb by picking it up and pushing it towards a tree until it finally can go up on its own into the big, big world.

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