Fatbob

Finnish tech measurement company OptoFidelity has put three of the more popular models around to the test. The data show that the iPone 5C and 5S both performed substantially worse than the Galaxy S3.

"Bad jokes. Awkward dancing. Amazing balloons," Rob the Balloon Guy's website promises. But please, no robbery - that'll just make him feel deflated.

Rob the Balloon Guy has got the best tagline in the long and twisted history of entertaining people with balloons. Redditor matlockga shares his clever business card, which astute Neatoramanauts will notice can be greatly improved with an Oxford comma. Or not. Because, you know, humor trumps clarity any day, especially when it comes to balloons and eating grandpa. So don't pop Rob the Balloon Guy's lack of punctuation, mmkay?

(Photo: longhorndave)

Yusuf Alchagirov, 80, is a shepherd in Kabardino-Balkaria, a region of Russia near the Georgian border. A bear attacked him in a raspberry field last week. Mr. Alchagirov took it in good Russian humor and repaid the favor with a barrage and kicks and headbutts, knocking it off balance. But the bear came back for more treatment:

The bear, apparently irritated by the feisty shepherd, tossed him off a cliff and sauntered away, said Alchagirov in an interview with local television. He was hospitalised with bruises, bite wounds and four broken ribs, but was spared a mauling, and released within a few days. It is not known whether the bear suffered any lasting injuries.

Mercifully, Mr. Alchagirov decided not to pursue the bear as it fled the scene. Local residents aren’t doing so either. After all, the bear was just playing:

In the most recent case, locals believed the bear was probably only playing with Alchagirov, Russian media said, and thus were not planning to track down the animal.

-via Ace of Spades HQ

In the transaction of receiving real-time titillation via pixels over the Internet, it's easy to forget how complicated some situations can be. Sure, there are gobs of money and endless credit card numbers being punched through but sometimes it's just a prettier version of indentured servitude.

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Artist Jeff Bennett (DeviantART member RolandDeschane) takes the works of Thomas Kincade and improves them with elements from the Star Wars universe, in a series called War on Kincade. The pastoral landscapes now have spaceships cruising above, or Storm Troopers patrolling, or various war machines bringing destruction! The reaction so far has been "Shut up and take my money!" but they are not yet available as prints. See the entire series at his DeviantART gallery. -via Geekologie

Back when it was discovered that the main theme for Skyward Sword was actually Zelda's Lullabye rewound, my mind nearly exploded. The Zelda series has always had some of the most memorable melodies in gaming, but to think one of its catchy new tunes was a classic song from Ocarina of Time played in reverse.

Well it appears Nintendo is up to some of the same tricks for this month's 3DS release A Link Between Worlds. YouTube sleuth WiiC24 has captured the latest trailer's music in reverse to discover another little goodie that is sure to get that nostalgic blood flowing.

Wait for it... yup that's the Hyrule Castle theme from the A Link Between World's Super Nintendo prequel A Link to the Past.

Pretty clever, or pretty lazy? Either way it's pretty amazing. 

Zelda: A Link Between Worlds - Music Easter Egg [YoutTube via Joystiq]

(941): He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.

Research firm Gartner has a dim view of the PC gaming market.

(503): But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!".

Warning: Language NSFW

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A fat idiot whose only friend is a dead crab kills and eats his wife for not making him a sandwich.

My, how she’s grown! 
Former child star Tami Erin is pictured in stills from her sex tape, which just hit the market.
Consider your childhood officially ruined.
Tami Erin, who played the lead in 1988’s “The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking,” is starring in a far less family-friendly flick — releasing her her own sex tape this week.
“My ex-boyfriend is trying to release it with or without me,” she told gossip site TMZ in September. “I’m beating him to the punch.”
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/tami-erin-pi...

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Thanks Rich

 

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A rogue computer program broke loose and spread uncontrollably. By the end of its rampage, the virus conquered a full ten percent of the world's internet-connected machines. An unfathomable 6,000 computers had crashed.

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 Boys Names

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Thanks Goddess

 

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Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML