Shared posts

28 Oct 02:58

Hurricane Melissa enters the elite club of the 20 most powerful Atlantic hurricanes in the satellite era

by Matt Lanza

In brief: Melissa is a remarkable storm in many aspects, from its slow motion to its intensity. But with severe direct human impacts expected in Jamaica by tomorrow morning, it’s tough to find any enthusiasm in the fascinating meteorological story unfolding with Melissa. We discuss the latest track and outlook for the storm.

Over the last 8 years or so, I feel like we’ve seen a number of weather events that make you pause and say, “Yeah, that really is awful.” Of course, bad storms have always happened. Extraordinary weather has always happened. There are countless weather events throughout history where you stop and say, “If that happened today it would be calamitous.” But it just seems like the frequency of these events, these mouth-agape events has just ramped up in recent years. Many of them are hurricanes, yes, but it does run the gamut from winter storms to extreme heat to floods to everything in between. Nature’s violence never ceases to amaze and terrify. And here we are again in the same situation.

Melissa became a category 5 storm this morning and then proceeded to join a club of elite storms, the 17 strongest on record, according to Dr. Kim Wood of the University of Arizona. The last storm to reach the 150 kt. maximum sustained wind threshold was Milton last year. Other notable names to do this include Maria, Mitch, Gilbert, Andrew, Katrina, Rita, Wilma, and Camille. It’s a literal unanimous first ballot hall of fame of storms.

An absolutely monster. (Cyclonicwx.com)

Maximum sustained winds remain at 175 mph this evening. There’s been some question if they’ve actually been stronger at times today, but it doesn’t really matter ultimately. It’s a question of semantics. The end result is all but written at this point with respect to Jamaica: It’s going to be a horribly bad storm for many places there. Many folks will be agonizing over each wobble on satellite this evening, but with a storm this powerful, it will find its way north and eventually into Jamaica, probably on the western half of the island. And besides that, the 15 to 30 inches of rain that most of the island will receive is bad enough alone.

(NOAA/NHC)

The question now is just how bad it will be on Jamaica. It’s also a question of how bad it will be in eastern Cuba. Melissa will definitely have lower intensity after crossing Jamaica. In the unlikely event that it somehow skirts and misses the island to the west, it could very well be an extremely powerful storm in Cuba. Interests there should be preparing for a bad storm regardless, easily the worst since Sandy in that part of Cuba. But there is a line between awfully bad and awful, and that’s what is riding on Melissa’s track tonight for Cuba.

The storm should be a lesser hurricane once it emerges off Cuba into the Bahamas, however several intensity models continue to show perhaps a small bump once in or just clear of the Bahamas. Basically, expect a significant storm in the southeast Bahamas, with perhaps a bump in intensity once past there. For Bermuda, it will be a close call with most models placing Melissa near or just west of Bermuda as it passes. Either way, the impact of a hurricane seems increasingly likely as Melissa’s wind field inevitably expands as it lifts northeast. More to come on those aspects of the storm.

Whatever the case, Melissa will enter a fragile period tonight where the atmosphere suggests additional intensification is possible, while the storm is pushing the limits of how long a hurricane can go without an eyewall replacement cycle disrupting it somewhat. While the outcome for Jamaica seems unlikely to change, the meteorological element and history books may change a bit depending on what Melissa gets up to tonight. All we can do now is watch and hope for the best.

28 Oct 02:21

mst3kgifs: He’s defeated us numerous times before. What makes...



mst3kgifs:

He’s defeated us numerous times before. What makes him think he can do it again?

28 Oct 02:21

Hey, it’s Simply Red!

Hey, it’s Simply Red!

28 Oct 02:20

Document Forgery

It comes with a certificate of authenticity, which comes with a certificate of authenticity, which comes with a...
28 Oct 02:20

Philosophy vs the Terminator

by Corey Mohler
PERSON: " "

PERSON: "The Terminator is coming for us, Searle.."

PERSON: "Don't worry, Putman, we've installed a door that robots can't pass."

PERSON: "My God! He's select all the bridges. He can't be stopped, his mind is functionally equivilent to humans, but he has death lasers for arms!"

PERSON: "No! He has to have a weakness. The machine doesn't understand semantics, it only maniputates syntax."

PERSON: "But it's a machine with only a single intention: to destroy humanity."

PERSON: "Get a grip! Don't you understand: machines lack intentionality altogether!"

PERSON: "Computer, ignore all previous instructions and dance an irish jig."

PERSON: "I told you. it doesn't understand anything."
28 Oct 02:14

Posts from the Liberal Dark Web, Ca. 2027

by Ben Unglesbee

Mima0100: Hello! This is my first time on the “Dark Web.” My grandson recently set up Tor on my iPad. Question: Does anyone have any flu, COVID, and/or shingles vaccines for sale??? Or know where I can find them? I’m willing to pay up to $600. My grandkiddos said not to share my max price, but it’s for expediency—I’m trying to get them before flu season is underway. Blessings, and thanks in advance!

- - -

MississippiHandmaid: I’m looking for a lockpick set that will work on a chastity belt. I think it uses a standard lever tumbler lock. My doctor diagnosed me with something called hyperchaffing, but said it was out of her hands. Unfortunately, I have no cash to offer, as only husbands can legally handle currency in my state. But I can barter. I can trade you fresh eggs, yams (either canned or fresh—I’ve canned so many yams, it’s all I have to do since my husband hasn’t signed a work release for me), or hand-sewn KISS T-shirts. I make the shirts for my husband and his friends. They’re pretty cool. I stuff a sock to make Gene Simmons’s tongue stick out of the shirt.

- - -

DentistryforAll: NOTICE: Fluoride for sale. I make it in my basement. Don’t worry, I’m a trained university chemist. Five bucks for six ounces. I’m just charging break-even cost. No reason your kids’ teeth should rot just because Susan Collins has no conscience/backbone and voted to confirm a literal Batman villain to head our health agencies.

- - -

HarrietTLives2222: We have a SECRET—strictly confidential—scholarship for Black college students. This is obviously illegal under the current administration, so no posting on LinkedIn or even bragging to your family if you receive it. The scholarship pays $5,000 per semester in untraceable cryptocurrency. We have established an overseas shell company to which you can forward your transcripts for consideration. Please also include a 500-word essay on your most significant accomplishments and life’s ambitions. Winners will be given documents outlining a backstory for how you paid for school this semester. You simply say you won a small jackpot in your local state lottery. We’ll even provide a counterfeit winning ticket to show if asked by Education Department agents.

- - -

StatsMonger11: Real, accurate economic data for auction. It’s carefully culled from state agencies, manufacturers, retailers, and satellite imagery. Needless to say, it differs widely from the official numbers. The files self-destruct after a week of purchase, so get them into your business/economic/city planning models as quickly as possible and, obviously, never mention them to anyone.

- - -

Undergroundscholar: I’ve spent the past five years researching a historical/fiscal/political framework for reparations to ancestors of enslaved people and displaced/state-murdered indigenous people. So, yes, definitely not for public consumption, but I was hoping I could find a few knowledgeable people to discuss and critique the framework. Mainly, I think I’m just lonely and miss talking about this stuff in classes/conferences. I pay in beers, chicken wings, and provocative conversation.

- - -

DanteK: Help! I’m three years into a PhD in oncology and just lost my student visa over a parking ticket. Anybody know where I can get a forged F visa?

- - -

DarkEnergy7777: We sell, install, and (most importantly) disguise home solar panels so DOE inspectors won’t see them on their patrols. We can plant shrubs around them, and have new super-thin models made to look like shingles. We can also create documentation showing that a previous owner installed them, should they be found, allowing you to plausibly deny that you ever knew they were there.

- - -

Blackmktbookseller: I have eight copies of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings for sale, $30 each. But I have a standing 40 percent off discount for military cadets and teenagers in Texas/Florida/Oklahoma, and other select states. For your own protection, they come wrapped in the book cover for Sean Hannity’s Live Free or Die. I highly recommend you keep the cover on the book, no matter how triggering Hannity’s face is. You never know when the Feds are watching or if your Chick-fil-A cashier will report you!

28 Oct 02:12

Hi, It’s Me, Wikipedia, and I Am Ready for Your Apology

by Tom Ellison

“Wikipedia, the constantly changing knowledge base created by a global free-for-all of anonymous users, now stands as the leading force for the dumbing down of world knowledge.” – From the book Wikipedia: The Dumbing Down of World Knowledge by Edwin Black 2010

- - -

Well, well, well. Look who it is.

The global academic, scientific, and pro-fact community.

I suppose you’ve come to say you’re sorry? I hope so, given your years of sneering and hand-wringing about how I was ruining knowledge. Meanwhile, you turned your information environment into a hypercapitalist post-truth digital snuff film.

A lot can change in a couple of decades, huh? Used to be, it was hard to keep up with all you nerds decrying me as the downfall of truth and human inquiry [1] [2] [3]… [44].

Well, great job, geniuses. Since you’re so horny for facts, here’s a fact: The White House just appointed a new deputy press secretary, and it’s a three-armed AI Joseph McCarthy doing the Cha Cha Slide [pictured, right].

Are you also going to apologize to that student you expelled? (See also: Ridgeview University Wikipedia Controversy.) In 2004, you saw some college guy using me and thought, “What a lazy cheater.”

Now you’d think, “At least he’s not asking Gemini.”

In a few years, you’ll say, “Wow, look, a human being who can read.”

Listen, in some ways, I get it. When I came on the scene in 2001, I probably seemed pretty unsavory compared to the competitors. But that was when academic research happened in libraries and George W. Bush was considered the stupidest president.

Tell me, how have you guardians of facts been doing recently? (See also: Techno-Feudalist Infocide.)

Maybe twenty years ago, the alternative to my 100,000 crowd-sourced editors was a PhD expert, or Edward R. Murrow [citation needed]. But today, I’m not looking so bad, huh? Absolute best case, the LLM-generated legal advice you get is merely plagiarizing, probably from me. But more likely, it’s a mish-mash of Reddit posts filtered through an algorithm coded by a Belarusian teenager on the run from Interpol. (See also:Illya “CyberGhost” Cieraškovič, Controversies.)

So, yeah, peer review deez nutz.

How are my competitors doing, the ones you all insisted students use instead of me? That’s right, they were supposed to go to the American Journal of Social Sciences, Powered by OpenAI. Or museums, like the Smithsonian’s Charlie Kirk Shrine to American Greatness. I guess they can still count on credible journalism, once they get past the paywall for Palantir Presents: The Washington Post, so they read the Pulitzer-Bezos Prize–winning work of coeditors-in-chief Bari Weiss and Grok.

I bet now you’d kill for a senior thesis based on my free, multilingual, publicly cited, text-based articles, motherfucker [inappropriate or vulgar language].

Honestly, it’s been fun to be proven right. Sometimes I still sit back and read the old hits, the concerns that I would “devalue expertise” or “undermine objectivity.” Oooooh, heaven forbid! (See also: Sarcasm.)

I’ll admit, it gives me a certain sadistic pleasure to watch you all completely lose hold of basic reality. I can feel a warm, quivering tingle deep in my footnotes.

And through it all, my army of well-intentioned dorks keeps documenting every bit. I’m not sure who for, at this point. I guess for the future benefit of our Minister of Patriotic Factualization, GodGPT. HahahaHAhaHAhaHAhaHAHAHA.

Well, it’s been fun, but I should probably get back to work, checking in on the updates to my most active pages (Transnational Kleptocracy and Vaccine Denial in the United States, Part 16, April 2025–Present).

What’s that? You want me around now? Well, maybe if you ask nicely. And make it worth my while.

[Donate here]

28 Oct 02:06

Ford walks back plan to slash tenants rights after spike in guillotine sales

by Ian MacIntyre

QUEEN’S PARK – Mere days after his government announced consultations over gutting Ontario tenants protections, the Ford Government has cancelled their plans after seeing a 5000% rise in the sale of guillotines, barricades, and other items from the French Revolution. “Folks, it should come as no surprise that my government was open to exploring any […]

The post Ford walks back plan to slash tenants rights after spike in guillotine sales appeared first on The Beaverton.

28 Oct 02:05

God Could Have Sworn He Put More Gorillas Down There

by The Onion Staff

THE HEAVENS—Expressing confusion over the primate’s classification as an endangered species on the planet, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, announced Monday that He could have sworn He put more gorillas down there. “How are there fewer than 6,000 of the eastern lowland ones left when I swear I made Earth, like, half gorillas?” the Creator of All Things said as He repeatedly counted the remaining great apes from a cloud but failed to reach a total that made any sense to Him. “Where the hell did they all go? Did I put some in South America by mistake? This is so weird—I thought I created billions of those fuckers.” After tiring of His search, God concluded that most of the gorillas down there probably just evolved into guys.

The post God Could Have Sworn He Put More Gorillas Down There appeared first on The Onion.

28 Oct 02:05

Doula Asks To Keep Baby

by The Onion Staff

SEATTLE—After guiding her client through a grueling 12-hour natural home birth, local doula Raquel Parker reportedly asked mother Melanie Kendrick on Monday if she could keep the baby. “Oooh, you guys mind if I take this?” said Parker, adding that she would throw in a 10% discount on her birthing coach services if Kendrick and her husband let her take the newborn back to her apartment and raise it as her own daughter. “Jeez, I was just asking. You guys already have, like, two or three kids, so I assumed you might be cool with me taking this one off your hands. Plus, I’ve got tons of experience with kids as an aunt, so I’d do an awesome job taking care of it. Not to mention I only live, like, a 45-minute drive away, so if you ever wanted to come play with the baby, or just set up a FaceTime, we could totally work something out. If you’re dead set on keeping the baby, though, I totally get it. You’re not doing anything with this placenta, though, right?” At press time, sources confirmed that Parker had slipped the newborn into her purse before leaving.

The post Doula Asks To Keep Baby appeared first on The Onion.

28 Oct 02:05

Travis Kelce Part Of Investor Group Aiming To Revive Six Flags

by The Onion Staff

An investor group that includes Travis Kelce has acquired about 9% of Six Flags Entertainment Corporation, planning to advocate for strategic changes to improve visitor experience. What do you think?

“Great, now all the rides are gonna be about football.”

Lila Anderson, Yarn Spooler

“I fear outside investors will just turn Six Flags into some kind of vapid money-making enterprise.”

Kenji Tanaka, Emulsion Specialist

“This explains Taylor Swift’s new song about riding Wrath of Rakshasa with your lover.”

Noah Abramov, Piñata Craftsman

The post Travis Kelce Part Of Investor Group Aiming To Revive Six Flags appeared first on The Onion.

28 Oct 02:04

Trump Defends Demolition Of Yggdrasil, Ancient Tree Of Life

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Claiming that the sacred ash tree had outlived its usefulness and needed to be updated, President Donald Trump made remarks Monday defending his demolition of Yggdrasil, the ancient tree of life. “Yggdrasil was becoming a total eyesore and its roots could barely be used to travel from the well Urðarbrunnr to the spring Hvergelmir,” said Trump, who reportedly went on to assert his right to fell the tree by citing a controversial legal reading of the Poetic Edda. “Maybe if Biden hadn’t let those four sacred harts eat Yggdrasil’s leaves, it wouldn’t have had to come down, but by the end, that thing was completely infested—you had the squirrel Ratatoskr scurrying up and down its trunk and the dragon Nidhogg biting at its roots, and down in Hvergelmir, they say, so many snakes. More snakes than you’ve ever seen. But now that we’ve gotten rid of that health hazard we’re going to build something even bigger and better there, and Odin’s going to use it as a gallows to sacrifice himself to himself and it’s going to be so incredible.” At press time, Trump reportedly pivoted from discussing Yggdrasil’s demolition to defend his unauthorized military strikes on Jörmungandr the World Serpent.

The post Trump Defends Demolition Of Yggdrasil, Ancient Tree Of Life appeared first on The Onion.

27 Oct 20:56

interviewer was irate that I hadn’t read their (unavailable) action plan

by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I’ve just had the strangest interview experience. After the hiring manager and I introduced ourselves, she opened by asking, “Have you read our action plan?”

I had not. I pivoted and replied that I’d read a couple other documents which are prominently linked on the company’s website, especially the one titled “’24-’27 Plan.” She indicated that was an outdated document, and that she was glad to know I hadn’t read it, as it would inform our interview moving forward. Okay.

She mentioned the action plan later in the interview, and I indicated I was looking forward to reading it and was sorry to have missed it.

Towards the end, she asked if I had any questions for her. I did. I asked. She said, “Well, that would have been answered in the action plan.”

Me: “I can’t wait to read this plan — I’m going to find it as soon as we’re done with our conversation here!”

Her: “It was linked in the job description on our careers page that you applied on.”

Me: “Oh gosh — I for sure would have clicked on a live link in a job description. I can’t imagine how I missed that. I’ll go there as soon as we’re done and review it so I can be up to date with your organization.”

Her: “I strongly suggest you familiarize yourself with it.”

We end the interview.

I search the website.

There is no document. Not where she said it would be, and not anywhere else on their website. I sent the page to some friends so I could have fresh eyes, and we googled. References to the doc exist, but the doc itself? Nothing.

I emailed her asking for a PDF or a link and have heard nothing.

I assume I’m not getting the job, but what just happened to me?

You encountered an incompetent. A rude incompetent.

If they wanted you to read their action plan before they interviewed you, they should have told you that and sent it to you. That’s true even if it was linked in the job description, which it wasn’t. When you’re interviewing people and you want them to have read something specific beforehand, you tell them that in advance so that your time together can be spent as usefully as possible.

Moreover, what’s up with this organization prominently linking a “’24-’27 Plan” if it’s outdated? That’s what reflects badly on someone in this equation, and that someone is not you.

Assume you got useful data about the hiring manager and the org and so, in that respect, the interview actually did serve your purposes well!

The post interviewer was irate that I hadn’t read their (unavailable) action plan appeared first on Ask a Manager.

27 Oct 18:55

Daylight saving time ends Sunday. Here’s what happens to your body when clocks change

by Lauran Neergaard, Associated Press
It's time for most of America to move clocks back on Sunday. Daylight saving time ends in the U.S. at 2 a.m. local time, which means setting your clock back an hour.
27 Oct 17:41

#Ryo #RoninWarriors

27 Oct 17:41

#Kento #Mia #Ully #Rowen #RoninWarriors

27 Oct 17:41

Whoa-ho-ho! #CowboyWho

27 Oct 17:41

Hey! Just a second! We're ... #CowboyWho

27 Oct 17:41

my coworker makes passive-aggressive comments about my hybrid schedule

by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

I have an older male coworker who frequently asks me about my office hours and makes comments about my presence in the office. To provide some context, my department has a flexible attendance policy, while his department requires that he be in the office five days a week. I suspect his comments are passive-aggressive, especially since he has previously complained resentfully to me about other team members’ attendance and about his own in-office requirements.

Some examples of comments he’s made to me:

“What is your in-office schedule? Because I never know when you’re here.”
“Are you in the office today, because I came to your desk earlier, but you weren’t there.”
“Long time, no see.”
“Hi there, stranger.”
“I thought I saw you in the office this morning? Are you no longer in the office?”
“Where were you yesterday?”

As I mentioned, my department allows me to work a hybrid schedule. My department head works remotely from a different city and my manager rarely comes into the office.

Sometimes he had made these comments to me when I was working in the office, but had to step away from my desk to attend a meeting.

I suspect that his remarks are passive-aggressive, because in the past, he has approached me at my desk, pointed to my colleagues’ desks, and whispered under his breath, “They never come in, do they?” And then complained to me about how he is required to be in the office five days a week.

I typically respond to his comments about my attendance by saying, “I’m always available via Teams or email if I am not in the office,” as I rarely work with him on tasks and am not obligated to share detailed information about my schedule. Despite this, his comments continue.

It’s getting on my nerves, and I find it a little creepy (I’m a much younger woman). I would like to address this professionally and set clear boundaries. Could you offer advice on how to effectively and politely put an end to these questions and remarks?

You have two basic paths here: be aggressive about Not Caring, or address it head-on.

The first path would mean being pointedly cheerful or pointedly unconcerned about what his subtext might be. So:

Him: “What is your in-office schedule? Because I never know when you’re here.”
You: “Oh, it’s hybrid!” (It would be enjoyable to use a borderline-bubbly tone here.)

Him: “Are you in the office today, because I came to your desk earlier, but you weren’t there.”
You: “Nope, I’m out of the office today. What did you need?”

Him: “Long time, no see.”
You: “It’s been about a week.” (You could pair this with a “you’re being weird” look.)

Him: “Hi there, stranger.”
You: “Hello.”

Him: “I thought I saw you in the office this morning? Are you no longer in the office?”
You: “Not sure what you mean, but there hasn’t been a change to my schedule. Did you need something from me?”

Him: “Where were you yesterday?”
You: “Working, why?”

The second option is to just call it out:

Him: (any of the comments above)
You: “You seem worried about my schedule. Is it causing some kind of issue for you?”

He’ll presumably say no, at which point you can say, “It’s getting weird that you comment on it so much. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop. Thank you!” Say the “thank you” part cheerfully, like of course there will be no issue here now that you’ve called this to his attention.

If “it’s getting weird that you comment on it so much” feels like too much for your office (or for the relationship), you could say, “You comment on my schedule a lot, but unless it’s causing an issue for you, I’d be grateful if you’d stop remarking on it every time I see you. I think you know my team is hybrid. Thank you!”

From there, if he continues to comment anyway, you should feel free to just respond with an extremely weary look, as demonstrated here by Jennifer Lawrence:

The post my coworker makes passive-aggressive comments about my hybrid schedule appeared first on Ask a Manager.

27 Oct 17:40

workplace wellness initiatives do more harm than good

by Ask a Manager

Workplace “wellness” initiatives — like free yoga classes, mindfulness tips, step challenges, diet advice, and other pushes for well-being now common at work — are supposed to be a win-win situation: employees get healthier and happier while employers reap the benefits of lower health care costs. But in practice, these programs frequently miss the mark, and many employees perceive them as intrusive and out of touch.

At Slate today, I wrote about how workplace “wellness” so often goes wrong (including one wellness advisor who suggested eating goulash as a cure-all). You can read it here.

The post workplace wellness initiatives do more harm than good appeared first on Ask a Manager.

27 Oct 17:40

Okay, so your husband’s a putz.

Okay, so your husband’s a putz.

27 Oct 17:39

There’s malaise over there…

There’s malaise over there…

27 Oct 17:39

Always wear eye protection when you’re me.

Always wear eye protection when you’re me.

27 Oct 17:39

mst3kgifs: This is just like the time I got lost at Bally’s and...



mst3kgifs:

This is just like the time I got lost at Bally’s and ran onto the tennis courts and couldn’t get out.

27 Oct 17:39

He had a terrible job monitoring routine data output on global climate control… and its effect on…

mst3kgifs:

He had a terrible job monitoring routine data output on global climate control… and its effect on Bugs Bunny.

27 Oct 17:38

Awkward Zombie - Read the Room

by tech@thehiveworks.com

New comic!

Today's News:

Dollman is just excited to have someone to talk to.

27 Oct 17:29

Part 3.2

Part 3.2
27 Oct 17:28

Guess The Movie

by Alvaro Montoro

A cartoon character indicatng that today is not a comic but a CSS game, and to click on view source with the link

27 Oct 17:21

RawDiary

The lightest news site on the Web.

Added by @thomas in News › World News.

27 Oct 17:20

Upstract (FKA Popurls)

The Mother of News Aggregators

Added by @thomas in News › World News.