Today's links

• When AI prophecy fails: Hating workers is a hell of a drug.
• Hey look at this: Delights to delectate.
• Object permanence: SCOTUS lets the FBI kidnap Americans; Inequality perverts justice; Free the McFlurry!
• Upcoming appearances: Where to find me.
• Recent appearances: Where I've been.
• Latest books: You keep readin' em, I'll keep writin' 'em.
• Upcoming books: Like I said, I'll keep writin' 'em.
• Colophon: All the rest.

When AI prophecy fails (permalink)

Amazon made $35 billion in profit last year, so they're celebrating by laying off 14,000 workers (a number they say will rise to 30,000). This is the kind of thing that Wall Street loves, and this layoff comes after a string of pronouncements from Amazon CEO Andy Jassy about how AI is going to let them fire tons of workers.

That's the AI story, after all. It's not about making workers more productive or creative. The only way to recoup the $700 billion in capital expenditure to date (to say nothing of AI companies' rather fanciful coming capex commitments) is by displacing workers – a lot of workers. Bain & Co say the sector needs to be grossing $2 trillion by 2030 in order to break even, which is more than the combined grosses of Amazon, Google, Microsoft, Apple Nvidia and Meta:

https://www.bain.com/about/media-center/press-releases/20252/$2-trillion-in-new-revenue-needed-to-fund-ais-scaling-trend—bain–companys-6th-annual-global-technology-report/

Every investor who has put a nickel into that $700b capex is counting on bosses firing a lot of workers and replacing them with AI. Amazon is also counting on people buying a lot of AI from it after firing those workers. The company has sunk $120b into AI this year alone.

There's just one problem: AI can't do our jobs. Oh, sure, an AI salesman can convince your boss to fire you and replace you with an AI that can't do your job, but that's the world's easiest sales-call. Your boss is relentlessly horny for firing you:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/03/18/asbestos-in-the-walls/#government-by-spicy-autocomplete

But there's a lot of AI buyers' remorse. 95% of AI deployments have either produced no return on capital, or have been money-losing:

https://www.technologyreview.com/2019/01/25/1436/we-analyzed-16625-papers-to-figure-out-where-ai-is-headed-next/

AI has "no significant impact on workers’ earnings, recorded hours, or wages":

https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=5219933

What's Amazon to do? How do they convince you to buy enough AI to justify that $180b in capital expenditure? Somehow, they have to convince you that an AI can do your workers' jobs. One way to sell that pitch is to fire a ton of Amazon workers and announce that their jobs have been given to a chatbot. This isn't a production strategy, it's a marketing strategy – it's Amazon deliberately taking an efficiency loss by firing workers in a desperate bid to convince you that you can fire your workers:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/08/05/ex-princes-of-labor/#hyper-criti-hype

Amazon does use a lot of AI in its production, of course. AI is the "digital whip" that Amazon uses to allow itself to control drivers who (nominally) work for subcontractors. This lets Amazon force workers into unsafe labor practices that endanger them and the people they share the roads with, while offloading responsibility onto "independent delivery service" operators and the drivers themselves:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/10/23/traveling-salesman-solution/#pee-bottles

Amazon leadership has announced that AI has replaced or will shortly replace its coders as well. But chatbots can't do software engineering – sure, they can write code, but writing code is only a small part of software engineering. An engineer's job is to maintain a very deep and wide context window, one that considers how each piece of code interacts with the software that executes before it and after it, and with the systems that feed into it and accept its output.

There's one thing AI struggles with beyond all else: maintaining context. Each linear increase in context that you demand from AI results in an exponential increase in computational expense. AI has no object permanence. It doesn't know where it's been and it doesn't know where it's going. It can't remember how many fingers it's drawn, so it doesn't know when to stop. It can write a routine, but it can't engineer a system.

When tech bosses dream of firing coders and replacing them with AI, they're fantasizing about getting rid of their highest-paid, most self-assured workers and transforming the insecure junior programmers leftover into AI babysitters whose job it is to evaluate and integrate that code at a speed that no one – much less a junior programmer – can meet if they are to do a careful and competent job:

https://www.bloodinthemachine.com/p/how-ai-is-killing-jobs-in-the-tech-f39

The jobs that can be replaced with AI are the jobs that companies already gave up on doing well. If you've already outsourced your customer service to an overseas call-center whose workers are not empowered to solve any of your customers' problems, why not fire those workers and replace them with chatbots? The chatbots also can't solve anyone's problems, and they're even cheaper than overseas call-center workers:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/08/06/unmerchantable-substitute-goods/#customer-disservice

Amazon CEO Andy Jassy wrote that he "is convinced" that firing workers will make the company "AI ready," but it's not clear what he means by that. Does he mean that the mass firings will save money while maintaining quality, or that mass firings will help Amazon recoup the $180,000,000,000 it spent on AI this year?

Bosses really want AI to work, because they really, really want to fire you. As Allison Morrow writes for CNN bosses are firing workers in anticipation of the savings AI will produce…someday:

https://www.cnn.com/2025/10/28/business/what-amazons-mass-layoffs-are-really-about

All this can feel improbable. Would bosses really fire workers on the promise of eventual AI replacements, leaving themselves with big bills for AI and falling revenues as the absence of those workers is felt?

The answer is a resounding yes. The AI industry has done such a good job of convincing bosses that AI can do their workers' jobs that each boss for whom AI fails assumes that they've done something wrong. This is a familiar dynamic in con-jobs.

The people who get sucked into pyramid schemes all think that they are the only ones failing to sell any of the "merchandise" they shell out every month to buy, and that no one else has a garage full of unsold leggings or essential oils. They don't know that, to a first approximation, the MLM industry has no sales, and relies entirely on "entrepreneurs" lying to themselves and one another about the demand for their wares, paying out of their own pocket for goods that no one wants.

The MLM industry doesn't just rely on this deception – they capitalize on it, by selling those self-flagellating "entrepreneurs" all kinds of expensive training courses that promise to help them overcome the personal defects that stop them from doing as well as all those desperate liars boasting about their incredible MLM sales success:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/05/05/free-enterprise-system/#amway-or-the-highway

The AI industry has its own version of those sales coaching courses – there's a whole secondary industry of management consultancies and business schools offering high-ticket "continuing education" courses to bosses who think that the only reason the AI they've purchased isn't saving them money is that they're doing AI wrong.

Amazon really needs AI to work. Last week, Ed Zitron published an extensive analysis of leaked documents showing how much Amazon is making from AI companies who are buying cloud services from it. His conclusion? Take away AI and Amazon's cloud division is in steep decline:

https://www.wheresyoured.at/costs/

What's more, those big-money AI customers – like Anthropic – are losing tens of billions of dollars per year, relying on investors to keep handing them money to incinerate. Amazon needs bosses to believe they can fire workers and replace them with AI, because that way, investors will keep giving Anthropic the money it needs to keep Amazon in the black.

Amazon firing 30,000 workers in the run-up to Christmas is a great milestone in enshittification. America's K-shaped recovery means that nearly all of the consumption is coming from the wealthiest American households, and these households overwhelmingly subscribe to Prime. Prime-subscribing households do not comparison shop. After all, they've already prepaid for a year's shipping in advance. These households start and end nearly every shopping trip in the Amazon app.

If Amazon fires 30,000 workers and tanks its logistics network and e-commerce systems, if it allows itself to drown in spam and scam reviews, if it misses its delivery windows and messes up its returns, that will be our problem, not Amazon's. In a world of commerce where Amazon's predatory pricing, lock-in, and serial acquisitions has left us with few alternatives, Amazon can truly be "too big to care":

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/oct/05/way-past-its-prime-how-did-amazon-get-so-rubbish

From that enviable position, Amazon can afford to enshittify its services in order to sell the big AI lie. Killing 30,000 jobs is a small price to pay if it buys them a few months before a reckoning for its wild AI overspending, keeping the AI grift alive for just a little longer.

(Image: Cryteria, CC BY 3.0, modified)

Hey look at this (permalink)

• Eugene Debs and All Of Us https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/eugene-debs-and-all-of-us

• US Business Cycles 1954-2020 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXRC3RrngcI

• Ed Zitron Gets Paid to Love AI. He Also Gets Paid to Hate AI https://web.archive.org/web/20251029140249/https://www.wired.com/story/ai-pr-ed-zitron-profile/

• Worried About AI Monopoly? Embrace Copyright’s Limits https://www.lawfaremedia.org/article/worried-about-ai-monopoly–embrace-copyright-s-limits

Object permanence (permalink)

#10yrsago Librarian of Congress puts impossible conditions on your right to jailbreak your 3D printer https://michaelweinberg.org/post/132021560865/unlocking-3d-printers-ruling-is-a-mess

#10yrsago The two brilliant, prescient 20th century science fiction novels you should read this election season https://memex.craphound.com/2015/10/28/the-two-brilliant-prescient-20th-century-science-fiction-novels-you-should-read-this-election-season/

#10yrsago Hundreds of city police license plate cams are insecure and can be watched by anyone https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2015/10/license-plate-readers-exposed-how-public-safety-agencies-responded-massive

#10yrsago Appeals court holds the FBI is allowed to kidnap and torture Americans outside US borders https://www.techdirt.com/2015/10/28/court-your-fourth-fifth-amendment-rights-no-longer-exist-if-you-leave-country/

#10yrsago South Carolina sheriff fires the school-cop who beat up a black girl at her desk https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/28/south-carolina-parents-speak-out-school-board

#10yrsago The more unequal your society is, the more your laws will favor the rich https://web.archive.org/web/20151028133814/http://america.aljazeera.com/opinions/2015/10/the-more-unequal-the-country-the-more-the-rich-rule.html

#5yrsago Trump abandons supporters to freeze https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/28/trumpcicles/#omaha

#5yrsago RIAA's war on youtube-dl https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/28/trumpcicles/#yt-dl

#1yrago The US Copyright Office frees the McFlurry https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/28/mcbroken/#my-milkshake-brings-all-the-lawyers-to-the-yard

Upcoming appearances (permalink)

• Miami: Enshittification at Books & Books, Nov 5
  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/an-evening-with-cory-doctorow-tickets-1504647263469

• Miami: Cloudfest, Nov 6
  https://www.cloudfest.com/usa/

• Burbank: Burbank Book Festival, Nov 8
  https://www.burbankbookfestival.com/

• Lisbon: A post-American, enshittification-resistant internet, with Rabble (Web Summit), Nov 12
  https://websummit.com/sessions/lis25/92f47bc9-ca60-4997-bef3-006735b1f9c5/a-post-american-enshittification-resistant-internet/

• Cardiff: Hay Festival After Hours, Nov 13
  https://www.hayfestival.com/c-203-hay-festival-after-hours.aspx

• Oxford: Enshittification and Extraction: The Internet Sucks Now with Tim Wu (Oxford Internet Institute), Nov 14
  https://www.oii.ox.ac.uk/news-events/events/enshittification-and-extraction-the-internet-sucks-now/

• London: Enshittification with Sarah Wynn-Williams and Chris Morris, Nov 15
  https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2025/event/cory-doctorow-with-sarah-wynn-williams

• London: Downstream IRL with Aaron Bastani (Novara Media), Nov 17
  https://dice.fm/partner/tickets/event/oen5rr-downstream-irl-aaron-bastani-in-conversation-with-cory-doctorow-17th-nov-earth-london-tickets

• London: Enshittification with Carole Cadwalladr (Frontline Club), Nov 18
  https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/in-conversation-enshittification-tickets-1785553983029

• Virtual: Enshittification with Vass Bednar (Vancouver Public Library), Nov 21
  https://www.crowdcast.io/@bclibraries-present

• Seattle: Neuroscience, AI and Society (University of Washington), Dec 4
  https://compneuro.washington.edu/news-and-events/neuroscience-ai-and-society/

• Madison, CT: Enshittification at RJ Julia, Dec 8
  https://rjjulia.com/event/2025-12-08/cory-doctorow-enshittification

Recent appearances (permalink)

• Enshittification and the Rot Economy with Ed Zitron (Clarion West)
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz71pIWbFyc

• Amanpour & Co (New Yorker Radio Hour)
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8l1uSb0LZg

• Enshittification is Not Inevitable (Team Human)
  https://www.teamhuman.fm/episodes/339-cory-doctorow-enshittification-is-not-inevitable

• The Great Enshittening (The Gray Area)
  https://www.reddit.com/r/philosophypodcasts/comments/1obghu7/the_gray_area_the_great_enshittening_10202025/

• Enshittification (Smart Cookies)
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BoORwEPlQ0

Latest books (permalink)

• "Canny Valley": A limited edition collection of the collages I create for Pluralistic, self-published, September 2025

• "Enshittification: Why Everything Suddenly Got Worse and What to Do About It," Farrar, Straus, Giroux, October 7 2025
  https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374619329/enshittification/

• "Picks and Shovels": a sequel to "Red Team Blues," about the heroic era of the PC, Tor Books (US), Head of Zeus (UK), February 2025 (https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865908/picksandshovels).

• "The Bezzle": a sequel to "Red Team Blues," about prison-tech and other grifts, Tor Books (US), Head of Zeus (UK), February 2024 (the-bezzle.org).

• "The Lost Cause:" a solarpunk novel of hope in the climate emergency, Tor Books (US), Head of Zeus (UK), November 2023 (http://lost-cause.org).

• "The Internet Con": A nonfiction book about interoperability and Big Tech (Verso) September 2023 (http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org). Signed copies at Book Soup (https://www.booksoup.com/book/9781804291245).

• "Red Team Blues": "A grabby, compulsive thriller that will leave you knowing more about how the world works than you did before." Tor Books http://redteamblues.com.

• "Chokepoint Capitalism: How to Beat Big Tech, Tame Big Content, and Get Artists Paid, with Rebecca Giblin", on how to unrig the markets for creative labor, Beacon Press/Scribe 2022 https://chokepointcapitalism.com

Upcoming books (permalink)

• "Unauthorized Bread": a middle-grades graphic novel adapted from my novella about refugees, toasters and DRM, FirstSecond, 2026

• "Enshittification, Why Everything Suddenly Got Worse and What to Do About It" (the graphic novel), Firstsecond, 2026

• "The Memex Method," Farrar, Straus, Giroux, 2026

• "The Reverse-Centaur's Guide to AI," a short book about being a better AI critic, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2026

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources:

Currently writing:

• "The Reverse Centaur's Guide to AI," a short book for Farrar, Straus and Giroux about being an effective AI critic. FIRST DRAFT COMPLETE AND SUBMITTED.

• A Little Brother short story about DIY insulin PLANNING

This work – excluding any serialized fiction – is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. That means you can use it any way you like, including commercially, provided that you attribute it to me, Cory Doctorow, and include a link to pluralistic.net.

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"When life gives you SARS, you make sarsaparilla" -Joey "Accordion Guy" DeVilla

READ CAREFULLY: By reading this, you agree, on behalf of your employer, to release me from all obligations and waivers arising from any and all NON-NEGOTIATED agreements, licenses, terms-of-service, shrinkwrap, clickwrap, browsewrap, confidentiality, non-disclosure, non-compete and acceptable use policies ("BOGUS AGREEMENTS") that I have entered into with your employer, its partners, licensors, agents and assigns, in perpetuity, without prejudice to my ongoing rights and privileges. You further represent that you have the authority to release me from any BOGUS AGREEMENTS on behalf of your employer.

ISSN: 3066-764X

In brief: In today’s update we discuss the ‘why’ behind today’s strong winds, and how cold it will get tonight. We also take a look at our sunny conditions into Saturday, when there is another chance of rain with a secondary front.

A gusty day

Houston will experience a very windy day today, with gusts this afternoon up to 40 mph or higher. This is the first time we have seen a really strong influx of colder and drier air this season, and you may be wondering why? The answer has to do with pressure systems, and particularly the circulation of air around a strong low pressure system bounded by a high pressure system.

In this case the low associated with Tuesday evening’s front has continued moving eastward. We are now effectively on the “back side” of this low, with strong high pressure building behind it. Today, therefore, we are seeing strong wrap around winds behind the low, with a tight pressure gradient (note the high over west Texas). This has created a superhighway for north-northwesterly winds that will peak this afternoon before finally ebbing late tonight. That sound you hear outside is fall blowing in.

Wednesday

Besides the wind, we are going to see much cooler temperatures today. In fact our highs in the mid- to upper-60s today will be cooler than about half of our nights so far this month. Gusty winds will build this morning and peak during the afternoon hours, with gusts up to 40 or possibly 45 mph possible.

With the setting sun this evening, lows tonight will quickly cool to around 50 degrees in the most urban parts of Houston, with outlying areas dropping into the 40s. It will be our coldest night in more than six months. Winds should begin to slacken this evening, and fall back toward more normal levels by Thursday morning.

Thursday

This will be a sunny and fine day, with lighter northerly winds and highs around 70 degrees. Thursday night’s lows may be a degree or so cooler than Wednesday night with ideal radiational cooling.

Friday

Halloween weather will be anything but spooky, with highs in the mid-70s and pure sunshine. Evening temperatures will be the 60s, with light winds. Overnight lows will drop into the 50s.

Saturday

The onshore flow resumes on Friday or Friday night, and so we’ll start to see the return of some moisture. The question is how much, because a weaker front is going to advance toward the area, and if there is enough moisture it is likely to produce some showers (and possibly a few thunderstorms). Given the uncertainty, there are corresponding questions about Saturday’s weather. For now I expect highs in the 70s, with mostly clear skies through the early afternoon. However I would say there is probably a 50 percent chance of showers later in the afternoon, evening, or overnight hours, and at this point I can’t rule out a few thunderstorms. We’ll keep an eye on things. Lows on Saturday night drop into the 50s.

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday

These look like a trio of pleasant days in the wake of that secondary front, with highs in the 70s and lows in the 50s, with moderate levels of humidity. Sunshine should reign supreme.

Later next week

Temperatures may recover some later next week, with highs around 80 and lows in the vicinity of 60 degrees. We shall see.

Bari Weiss walked into 60 Minutes and asked the staff: “Why does the country think you’re biased?”

The question stunned them into awkward silence. And it should have—not because it caught them off guard, but because it reveals everything wrong with what passes for journalistic sophistication in our moment.

Let’s be precise about what Weiss is doing. She’s not asking whether 60 Minutes is actually biased. She’s not evaluating their coverage against standards of accuracy, fairness, or adherence to facts. She’s asking why “the country” perceives bias—which treats that perception as fact requiring accommodation regardless of whether the perception corresponds to reality.

This is false balance perfected. The sophisticated move that treats “Trump and his allies say you’re biased” as equivalent evidence to actual journalistic practice. The epistemic surrender that makes public opinion—shaped by coordinated disinformation campaigns, algorithmic manipulation, and deliberate attacks on legitimate journalism—into the arbiter of what counts as fair coverage.

When the President calls judicial review “insurrection,” when his advisers threaten to ignore court rulings, when federal agents conduct warrantless mass detentions—60 Minutes covering these facts isn’t bias. It’s journalism. And when Trump and his allies attack that coverage as partisan, the proper response isn’t “how do we address these perceptions?” It’s “we report what’s happening.”

But Weiss has built a career on reframing accommodation as courage. Her brand rests on the premise that mainstream journalism, academia, and cultural institutions have been captured by the left and need correction toward “balance.” This framework treats asymmetric reality as if it were symmetric controversy—and what the New York Times reports about her first weeks at CBS reveals how this plays out in practice.

She’s reportedly personally booking Netanyahu, Jared Kushner, and Steve Witkoff—architects of Trump’s Middle East policy—while urging executives to identify newsroom leakers. And she’s asking a newsroom that views itself as nonpartisan to justify why coordinated attacks on them have gained traction. She’s not asking whether Netanyahu’s government has committed actions worthy of critical coverage or whether Trump’s peace plan deserves scrutiny beyond its architects’ preferred framing—she’s ensuring powerful right-wing figures get platforms while shifting the burden from those making false claims to those reporting facts.

This matters because even journalists who genuinely believe they’re defending fairness can fall into this trap. The frame is seductive: “Both sides claim bias, therefore the truth must be somewhere in the middle.” But this only works when both sides operate in good faith. When one side systematically attacks any accountability journalism as partisan while the other tries to report accurately, splitting the difference doesn’t produce balance—it produces capitulation.

The question “why does the country think you’re biased?” does something structurally insidious regardless of Weiss’s intentions. It treats coordinated attacks on legitimate journalism as evidence requiring response rather than as bad-faith manipulation requiring exposure. It makes perceived bias—manufactured through deliberate campaigns—into a problem journalism must solve by changing coverage rather than a weapon journalism must resist by maintaining standards.

The danger isn’t that journalists become propagandists overnight—it’s that they internalize propaganda’s logic while believing they’re protecting neutrality.

This is precisely how authoritarian movements capture journalism without needing to shut it down. You don’t need to close newspapers when you can convince editors that “balance” means giving equal weight to demonstrable lies and documented facts. You don’t need to jail journalists when you can make them internalize the frame that reporting what’s actually happening is “partisan” if it makes one side look bad.

The 60 Minutes staff should have answered her question directly: “The country thinks we’re biased because a coordinated disinformation infrastructure has spent decades attacking any journalism that holds Republican power accountable as ‘liberal media bias,’ and you’re now amplifying that frame by treating their attacks as legitimate concerns requiring our accommodation rather than as bad-faith manipulation requiring our resistance.”

But they sat in stunned silence instead. Because Weiss is now their boss. And her early choices clarify what she values: access to powerful right-wing newsmakers, concern about perceptions shaped by those attacking journalism, and the sophisticated frame that treats “both sides say the other is biased” as evidence requiring split-the-difference coverage.

This is how journalism dies. Not through crude censorship but through sophisticated editors who convince themselves that accommodation of authoritarian narratives is “balance,” that platforming power without sufficient scrutiny is “access,” that treating coordinated attacks as legitimate criticism is “taking concerns seriously.”

Two plus two equals four. Federal agents conducting warrantless mass detentions violates the Fourth Amendment. Stephen Miller calling judicial review “insurrection” is authoritarian rejection of constitutional governance. Covering these facts is journalism. Treating coverage of these facts as evidence of bias is surrender.

Bari Weiss is editor-in-chief of CBS News. And her first major act was asking the network’s flagship program to justify why they’re perceived as biased for doing their jobs. That tells you everything about what she’ll demand they stop doing—and why her version of “balance” is just authoritarianism with better branding.

Mike Brock is a former tech exec who was on the leadership team at Block. Originally published at his Notes From the Circus.

Thank you for your interest in CHICKEN FINGERS, an available cat with Furrever Rescue. Furrever Rescue currently has over a hundred cats that desperately need forever homes. But it’s important to us that CHICKEN FINGERS gets adopted into the purr-fect family, so please fill out this questionnaire to make sure you two are the purr-fect match.

1. List your name, your age, your occupation, and your Social Security number.

2. Who else lives in your home? Provide their names, ages, occupations, and Social Security numbers.

3. Do you have friends or family who come to your house regularly and may interact with CHICKEN FINGERS? Provide their names, ages, occupations, and Social Security numbers.

4. Would CHICKEN FINGERS be an indoor-only or indoor-outdoor cat? If indoor-only, are you willing to cater every room in your home to CHICKEN FINGERS’s specific needs? If indoor-outdoor, go to hell.

5. Please explain why you’re interested in adopting CHICKEN FINGERS over one of our other cats. Is it for superficial reasons, such as CHICKEN FINGERS’s perceived cuteness?

6. Do you have other pets in the home? Please list the type of pet, their age, temperament, and their Social Security numbers.

7. If CHICKEN FINGERS did not get along with your existing pets, would you be willing to rehome your other pets?

8. What pets have you had in the past, and what happened to them? Write at least five hundred words about the traumatic death of your childhood pet.

9. If CHICKEN FINGERS were to fall ill, do you have sufficient equity in your home to take out a second mortgage to pay vet bills? Furrever Rescue reserves the right to order a home appraisal at your expense. (Note: Renters, you are not the right fit for CHICKEN FINGERS.)

10. How many hours per week would CHICKEN FINGERS be left unsupervised?

11. On a scale of 1–10, how guilty would you feel leaving CHICKEN FINGERS alone, with “1” being no guilt because you are a sadistic jerk who hates CHICKEN FINGERS and wants him to be sad, and “10” being so guilty that you could barely stand to live with yourself except that CHICKEN FINGERS is your only purpose for living.

12. If CHICKEN FINGERS decided that he wanted to go to college, would you support that decision emotionally and financially? (Note: If you don’t believe cats deserve a liberal arts education, you are not the right fit for CHICKEN FINGERS.)

13. Would you pressure CHICKEN FINGERS to go to a state school, even if an out-of-state school had a stronger program in his selected discipline?

14. CHICKEN FINGERS is a four on the Enneagram. What is your Enneagram type? Address how compatible you believe it is with CHICKEN FINGERS in at least five hundred words.

15. Do you have a regular veterinarian?

16. Would you be willing, if you had exhausted your new home equity line of credit, to perform sexual favors for your veterinarian in exchange for CHICKEN FINGERS’s well-being?

17. Are you willing to house, clothe, and feed a volunteer from Furrrever Rescue for thirty days while we conduct a home study to ensure your home is the best fit for CHICKEN FINGERS? (Note: Our volunteer will dress and behave as a cat during the process.)

18. CHICKEN FINGERS is bonded with another cat, CAPTAIN STINKY PANTS. CAPTAIN STINKY PANTS is a charming twenty-pound Maine Coon mix who hates children and adults, has moderate-to-severe bowel incontinence, and only eats sushi-grade tuna. CAPTAIN STINKY PANTS and CHICKEN FINGERS must be adopted together, no exceptions. There is an additional $200 adoption fee for CAPTAIN STINKY PANTS.

19. Would you be willing to kill for CHICKEN FINGERS and CAPTAIN STINKY PANTS?

20. List the names, ages, occupations, and Social Security numbers of the people you would be willing to murder in cold blood for CHICKEN FINGERS and CAPTAIN STINKY PANTS.

Thank you again for your interest in CHICKEN FINGERS. If we determine that you may be a good fit, we will contact you within six months to schedule an all-day, in-person panel interview. Please prepare an interactive PowerPoint presentation explaining why we should select you. And bring a laser pointer; it’s CAPTAIN STINKY PANTS’s favorite toy and, trust us, you do not want to disappoint him.

Shifting federal guidelines in recent months have left people confused about whether they can get the COVID-19 vaccine. But Waco healthcare providers say the vaccine is easy to get as cough-and-cold season approaches. Earlier this month, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued updated fall vaccine recommendations which include the COVID-19 vaccine. The CDC […]

The post Flu and COVID season is here. Getting vaccinated is easier than you might think appeared first on The Waco Bridge.

Source: NPR

https://search.app/ZRVu6

This furloughed IRS lawyer is living out his dream of being a hot dog vendor

WASHINGTON—Praising the process as yet another miracle of biology that modern medicine chooses to ignore, a gray-lipped Robert F. Kennedy Jr. spoke at a press conference Wednesday during which he touted the body’s natural ability to transmute lead into gold. “The human body is able to do some incredible things if you consume enough lead,” said the secretary of health and human services, noting that even a few drops of colloidal lead every morning could have an effect similar to that produced by the elixirs ancient Egyptians drank for rejuvenation. “Once inside you, lead undergoes a natural transformation, creating one of the most valuable medicines in the world. I figure at this point my body is at least 50% gold. I’m more energetic, and gold never corrodes, so you can basically live forever.” Kennedy concluded his remarks by swallowing a lead pipe whole and then regurgitating a single gold nugget.

The post Gray-Lipped RFK Jr. Touts Body’s Natural Ability To Transmute Lead Into Gold appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—In an effort to manage the American people’s expectations, officials at the National Association for Business Economics announced Wednesday that they hoped your heart wasn’t set on a house. “We’re not saying it’s impossible—we’re just saying you might want to consider keeping your options open,” said Jeffrey Birney, an economics professor at Georgetown University, who acknowledged that while, from a theoretical perspective, a three-bedroom, two-bathroom home would “be nice,” the economists didn’t want the nation to be disappointed if things didn’t turn out as expected. “There are so many other places you could live: an apartment, the basement or living room of a friend or family member, an RV, or even a roomy car. It would just be heartbreaking if that’s what your little savings account turned out to be for. Oh jeez, don’t tell us that’s really what it’s for.” At press time, economists were gently encouraging Americans to focus on food.

The post Economists: Hope Your Heart Wasn’t Set On A House appeared first on The Onion.

SAN BRUNO, CA—Expressing surprise and delight at the notion that gals could also shred, dozens of YouTube users who stumbled upon the Mousers’ cover of Bikini Kill’s “Rebel Girl” revealed Wednesday that they were astounded to learn chicks were able to rock too. “Wow, it turns out that ladies can play some pretty heavy riffs,” user BigJim84 wrote about the all-female punk band, adding that even though the women couldn’t rock as hard as a guy, they could still rock pretty hard. “It’s cool to see a woman wailing on a guitar. I’m all for girl power! Usually female musicians aren’t very good—I listened to Björk once, and that music didn’t rock at all. I guess Fleetwood Mac was decent, though the most talented musicians in that band were definitely the dudes. But these chicks were clearly in it for more than just getting a boyfriend. Thank God their dads introduced them to good music!” The YouTube users then headed over to the comment section of a Laurie Anderson video and announced that any artist who used a computer in production was not a real musician.

The post YouTube Comment Section Astounded To Learn Chicks Can Rock Too appeared first on The Onion.

AUSTIN, TX—Noting that he’d already claimed to be sick, at a dentist appointment, and tied up with an unexpected 9 p.m. football practice, University of Texas quarterback Arch Manning confirmed Tuesday that he was quickly running out of polite, semi-plausible excuses to avoid mentorship from his uncle Eli. “He means well, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I really don’t need him FaceTiming me every day and saying stuff like, ‘A Super Bowl winner I sense in you, young padawan,’” said Manning, adding that while he respects his uncle’s experience as a player, he’s not exactly champing at the bit to have a 44-year-old teach him “how to chop it and spin it like Chad Powers.” “It’s just kind of embarrassing, you know? Last time he came to one of my games, he kept fist-bumping my teammates and saying he was there to help me unlock my ‘Manning DNA.’ I had to fake a hamstring injury because he kept trying to run me through footwork drills. I can’t keep doing this.” At press time, Manning was reportedly hiding out in the training room after Eli showed up unannounced with a stack of old Giants playbooks for “a little impromptu QB clinic.”

The post Arch Manning Running Out Of Polite Ways To Decline Eli’s Mentorship appeared first on The Onion.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Can I ask my company to paint over part of an office mural?

I work at a large American law firm in a medium sized branch office (HR is based in another state). My office has this huge … corporate mural? Collage? It’s a collection of portraits of famous and “inspirational” people and “inspiring” quotes. It’s got world leaders, people from history books, athletes, authors, movie stars, etc. Each individual portrait is maybe one foot by one foot? This thing spans multiple walls, floor to ceiling, probably a couple of hundred portraits total.

This piece of “art” ends at the entrance to the office supply room, and the main pathway to the kitchen and the partner’s office. In order to get to these locations, I have to walk inches away past a portrait of Anne Frank, at eye level (she’s next to Audrey Hepburn, if you were curious). There’s an alternate path to the kitchen/partner where I only have to walk within 10 feet of Anne (still visible though).

This makes me very uncomfortable and it’s the first time I’ve ever experienced something to be so triggering. My grandparents were Holocaust/WWII survivors. My great aunt was on Schindler’s list. The Holocaust caused a lot of generational trauma in my family that’s still relevant almost a century later. Anne Frank is probably the most famous victim of the Holocaust, arguably the face of a genocide, and I find it very distracting and uncomfortable to confront her image multiple times per day.

Is this something I can reasonably address with my company? I would ideally like to see Anne Frank replaced with someone else, but I think painting over her square would be adequate. Is that a reasonable accommodation for my company make? And do you have any tips about how to raise this? I think the partners in my office would be sympathetic, but one of them is brand new (as am I, I followed him from my last firm a month ago). The more senior partner seems very nice, but I’m still getting to know her and we don’t work together directly.

I don’t think painting over Anne Frank would go over well.

In theory, the best solution would probably be to move her to a different part of the mural, but in reality I think that’s really unlikely to happen.

You’ve probably just got to take the alternate path to the kitchen and the partner. It’s not ideal, and I’m sorry!

2. Job candidate has spotty references

I’m in the process of hiring a new team member and conducted four interviews last week. One candidate stood out from the start. Her resume is solid and her interview went well. Her work examples are good — not necessarily stellar, but it’s clear she could do the job reasonably well and could be coached on industry nuances.

The problem is that her references are iffy. She provided three. I have yet to hear back from two of them in more than a week. They did not respond to emails, the texts appeared to go unread, and I didn’t receive any response to voicemails. The one who did respond emailed me over the weekend to say he would call on Monday, which he did. The conversation was sketchy. He seemed confused about who we were talking about, stumbling over her name a bit. He couldn’t give me any specific examples about projects they had worked on together or her work style. Everything was positive, but it was so vague and general that I’m having a hard time putting stock in anything he said.

When I combine that with the fact that the other two have been completely unresponsive, I’m feeling stumped. I don’t feel right holding this against the candidate. She can’t control whether or not other people respond or if they sound shaky during a phone conversation. At the same time, it’s raised questions for me about whether these are the best people she can have vouch for her. Based on what we’ve seen so far, we were expecting her to provide references that would conduct themselves much more professionally, and the fact that she couldn’t do so is an orange flag.

The position is not an immediate need and we do have other candidates. I’m just not sure what to do with this one. Do I ignore the weird references? Ask her to provide new ones? Do I mention anything to her about this at all?

Tell her that you haven’t heard back from the two, and ask if she can put you in touch with them. If she looks into it and comes back saying they’re unavailable, ask her to provide other references. And given the totality of the situation, it’s fair to ask specifically for who you’d like to talk to — as in, “Could you put me in touch with your manager from your last job?” or “Could you put me in touch with your manager from one of your two most recent jobs?”

There are reasons why someone’s references might be unresponsive (death, illness, vacation, etc.) but it’s reasonable (a) to expect her to explain if that’s the case and (b) to hold firm on wanting to talk to people who can verify her skills and accomplishments. You might need to be flexible about who you talk with, but you shouldn’t compromise on having those conversations.

Related:
what to do if your references aren’t available

3. How to tell a manager I’d like to take my incompetent coworker’s job

I have been in my current role for 12+ years, and worked at my location (and in my company) for 20+ years. I have a good working relationship with the C-suite leadership (and most of their direct subordinates) at my location, and I believe they like me.

There is a woman who got hired in 2020, and I have worked with her since she’s been hired. (She supports the C-suite leadership directly, in an upper-level capacity.) She is a terrible employee, lazy, and has tried to fail upward out of her position, and has been unsuccessful in doing so. I depend on her doing her job to do my job, and she makes me look bad at my job. I have a good relationship with her manager, and so I’ve approached her manager many times, who is very weak, who has not changed the employee’s behavior. However, I think it has recently come to a head, and the manager has told me that she is seeking a “permanent resolution to this problem.”

I’ve seen the employee’s job description, and she makes more than I do. I know I could do the job, and I think it’s something I could be good at. How do I approach the manager to say, “If you are looking to replace her, please keep me in mind?”

Leave out the “if you’re looking to replace her” part and instead just say, “If you’re ever hiring for the X role, I’d be really interested in doing that work — so if Jane moves on at some point, I’d love to talk with you about it.”

Related:
I want to tell our CEO to fire his incompetent assistant and hire me for her job

4. Coworker won’t stop clearing his throat

I work in an open office environment and one of my coworkers is constantly clearing his throat. That’s not an exaggeration — I’ve timed it and it’s usually every 5-10 seconds, all day long. It’s been like that since he started, and both HR and our leadership team have spoken to him about it. It got better for a couple weeks, but it came back and has escalated to him hacking in between throat clears.

I’m assuming it’s a medical issue, like a tic or silent reflux, and it’s none of my business. But I am losing my mind listening to it. We work from home part of the week, and I’ve started to dread the days I have to come into the office because I know I will have to listen to it all day long.

It’s a small office, so there isn’t anywhere for either one of us to move that would solve the issue. Every coworker I’ve talked to about it has agreed how annoying it is, but they seem resigned to accept it as status quo. A couple have even gotten so used to it that they’ve tuned it out, and I’m very jealous of that ability. Not only can I not tune it out, I am constantly on edge.

This is clearly impacting me more than anyone else, and I’m at a loss of what to do. I’ve already made it known to HR and the leadership that it’s a problem, and it seems like they’ve done what they can in terms of having a conversation about it. But what else can be done?

Wearing headphones in my office is uncommon, and they don’t block out the sound anyway. Noise canceling headphones would be extremely out of sync with the culture, but I’m getting desperate enough to be the oddball who can’t hear when people are trying to get my attention.

I’ve thought about asking to switch my work from home days so we only overlap in the office one day rather than three, but it would be a disruption to my current schedule and would impact my work if I wasn’t in the office when everyone else is. Is there anything I haven’t thought of yet? Should I push the leadership team on this even more?

There’s probably nothing else the leadership team can do. They talked to him, it’s still happening, and they can’t insist someone solve a medical issue that may be unsolvable. (It’s true that he solved it for a few weeks after they spoke to him, but that could be because to do it he used a medication that had side effects he can’t tolerate long-term, or that the effort involved in controlling a tic isn’t sustainable long-term, or other reasons that aren’t really our business.)

So wear the noise-canceling headphones. If you think it’ll be out of sync with your office’s culture, explain to your boss why you’re doing it. It sounds like they’re aware of the problem and tried to address it, so they shouldn’t be surprised that you’re going to try this to tune it out. Changing your work-from-home days is an option too, but you said it would impact your work to not be around when everyone else is, so the headphones are the less disruptive option.

5. Can I ask if we’re not getting any raises for four years?

My entire company just received an email from the top saying that due to federal funding cuts, there would be no raises this year.

It didn’t take me long to realize that these cuts would be in place until at least 2029. So we won’t be getting raises for four years. I’d like to ask them if this is an accurate statement, but I’m not really certain if I should. Thoughts?

Now isn’t the time; it just happened and they’re still working out what it means (and possibly trying to figure out whether they need to make staffing cuts). Let the dust settle a bit.

The post asking company to paint over a mural, job applicant has spotty references, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

The new report revealed that thousands of uncontacted Indigenous peoples around the world are facing increasing dangers, such as contact by missionaries, miners, criminal gangs, and social media influencers spreading diseases and clearing forests, that could wipe out as many as half in 10 years. What do you think?

“Worth it to appear in a TikTok trying Oreos for the first time.”

Simon Rosado, Milk Bleacher

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“It’s unhealthy to avoid socializing for thousands of years.”

Andy Pollard, Systems Analyst

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“They’ll feel better about it when they see all the nickel we’re extracting.”

Kimi Fredrickson, Antiquities Duster

The post Report: Half Of All Uncontacted People Could Be Wiped Out In Next Decade appeared first on The Onion.

Uh ... Excuse me there partner ... #CowboyWho

A reader writes:

I ran a catering business on the side for a while, in addition to my regular job. I don’t do it much anymore, but on occasion I do still take paid jobs, usually for past clients. It’s a way to make some extra money and I enjoy the work.

Since my friends know I still do this, it’s not uncommon for them to ask me to do catering work for their own events (parties, kids’ birthdays, etc.). This would be fine except that I can tell they think they’re doing me a favor by giving me their business, and they aren’t! I have enough of the work coming in through regular channels that I’m not really looking for more work.

It’s thoughtful of them to want to pay me (at least I don’t have the problem of them expecting I’ll do it for free) but most of the time I would much rather have my weekend free than spend it making appetizers for someone else’s party.

When a regular client approaches me about a job I’d rather not do, it’s easy to just say that I’m booked for that time period. And I guess technically I could say that to a friend, too, but often these are people I’m close enough to that they know I’m not filling up my time with catering jobs that way (and I wouldn’t want to have to keep track of the lie to make sure that I don’t mention something else I did that weekend when I had said I’d be “catering”).

Also, jobs for friends are usually the ones that end up being a lot more customized so it’s more work for me, on top of the fact that I usually give them a discount because they’re friends (which is fully my choice; I know they’d pay full price if I asked for it).

How do I tell people, “I appreciate you thinking it’s a favor to throw business my way, but I’d actually rather you didn’t”?

I know one option is that I could just say I’m not catering for friends at all anymore, but I’m still up for doing it if they really actively want my food. If I’m the caterer they’d most want for this particular event, even if we didn’t know each other, great. I just want them to stop thinking they “should” give me the business because we’re friends.

Can you tell your friends that you’re actively trying to take on fewer catering jobs? That sounds like it’s the truth, and it’s information they don’t have.

You can mention that in casual conversation as you’re catching up on each other’s lives, but you can also mention it when someone approaches you about catering for them. For the latter, you could say, “I’m actually trying to take on fewer catering jobs, so unless there’s something specific I prepare that you really want, please don’t feel you need to offer me the business — I’m trying to cut back on jobs, rather than adding more.” That opens the door for them to say, “I was really hoping you’d make your famous stuffed zucchini because I love it so much” and for you then to decide if you’re up for taking the job or not (since you mentioned you might want to do it under those circumstances), while moving things out of the “favor” framing.

Or, if you’d really prefer not to do it at all, that’s okay too! You can say, “Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m cutting back on catering so I have more weekends free.”

It also might help to have other caterers you can refer them to — “I’m cutting back on how much catering I’m doing, but Caterer X and Y are really great at that kind of party if you want to try them.”

It sounds like everyone has great intentions here; you just need to give them more information so they’re not working off of the wrong set of assumptions and assuming you’d be grateful for the business.

The post my friends think they’re doing me a favor by giving me business … but they’re not appeared first on Ask a Manager.

He’ll be exacting his revenge on… John Agar, Lori Nelson, John Bromfield…

TORONTO – Following a World Series game against the LA Dodgers that went into multiple extra innings, local Blue Jays fan Mike Cortner reports that he appears to be trapped inside a metaphysical prison where the match somehow never ended. “They just went into the bottom of the 37th, and Ohtani is up to bat,” […]

The post Terrified Jays fan still trapped inside Game 3 appeared first on The Beaverton.

Spirit Halloween’s vulture-like business model keeps operating costs low by snapping up short-term leases in vacant retail spaces, making itself a rare beneficiary of private equity’s hollowing out of big box stores across the country.

As All Hallows’ Eve approaches, more than 1,300 Spirit Halloween stores have temporarily opened their doors across the United States and Canada, bringing seasonal life back to empty big-box locations abandoned in the retail apocalypse.

By moving into the former locations of brands like Bed Bath & Beyond, Rite Aid, Sears, JoAnn Fabrics, Forever 21, and Big Lots — once-ubiquitous retail powerhouses sent to an early grave after being bankrupted by private equity — Spirit Halloween has made itself a rare beneficiary of Wall Street bloodsuckers’ hollowing out of America.

This year, retailers will shutter 15,000 stores in the United States, more than doubling last year’s brick-and-mortar closures and officially surpassing the record set during the pandemic in 2020. Private equity’s buy, gut, and burn strategy of leveraged buyouts and debt transfers has played a significant part in this wave of retail death: In 2024, private funds were behind half of all large US bankruptcies, and last quarter, six of the fourteen largest bankruptcies were for private equity–backed firms.

Private equity and hedge fund–managed retailers laid off over half a million people between 2009 and 2019, even as the retail industry at large added over one million additional jobs during the same time.

Retail death is a pillar of Spirit Halloween’s business model: the company can keep operating costs low by snapping up short-term leases at vacant former retail spaces, sometimes at discounted rates. Spirit Halloween’s vulture-like model of drive-by leasing has become so infamous that it was spoofed on Saturday Night Live.

Of the nineteen Spirit Halloween stores opening across Minnesota this year, for instance, eleven locations once belonged to retailers that have filed for bankruptcy or been hollowed out by private equity.

Despite the festivities and its perhaps commendable use of vacant space, Spirit Halloween’s business model has faced charges of exploitative practices. In Denver, locals are pushing back against Spirit’s decision to open a location this year across the street from a beloved independent Halloween store. 

Meanwhile, Spencer Spirit Holdings, the private corporation behind Spirit Halloween and Spencer’s Gifts, reportedly rakes in nearly $2 billion a year in revenue — and over half of that is from Spirit Halloween, even though the business only operates three months out of the year.

Spencer’s Gifts is also rapidly expanding a new temporary retail venture — Spirit Christmas — with flagship stores already open for the holiday season.

This article was first published by the Lever, an award-winning independent investigative newsroom.

In brief: Hurricane Melissa is one of the 4 strongest Atlantic storms on record, and it is making landfall in Jamaica as I type this. Horrific impacts are expected there, followed by significant impacts in Cuba later today and tomorrow. Our thoughts are with our Caribbean neighbors.

Very few places in the world have ever experienced in modern times what Jamaica is going through or about to go through this morning.

Massive hurricanes and typhoons do occasionally make landfall, but at this level of intensity it is rare. Melissa is essentially undergoing another round of rapid intensification as it approaches landfall in Jamaica. As of this writing, the barometric pressure was as low as 892 mb, tied for third strongest on record in the Atlantic with the 1935 Labor Day hurricane, just behind Gilbert in 1988 and Wilma in 2005. It has maximum sustained winds of 185 mph. Notably, the maximum sustained winds only extend out about 10 miles from the center, so the worst damage will be concentrated within about 10 to 20 miles of the eyewall’s path. On an island that’s Jamaica’s size however, that’s a substantial swath of area.

Melissa’s appearance is more similar to that of a western Pacific typhoon. This merits another post down the line, but there are really only two areas where such storms could occur in the Atlantic: the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean Sea. These types of storms look like buzzsaws on satellites; their structure is meteorologically perfect.

Even when comparing this to Gilbert and Wilma, the two strongest satellite era companions to Melissa, it does appear that Melissa may have the most pristine structure. Satellite resolution has improved dramatically since 1988 and 2005, but even in those cases, it would seem that Melissa has the more meteorologically perfect look. Wilma did have that pinhole eye, of course, which can also be reminiscent of a Pacific typhoon. Whatever the case, all we can do is hope and pray right now that Jamaicans are as safe as possible. While that is a hurricane battle tested location, there is no place in the world, even America, that is truly adequately prepared to handle a top 5 storm on record.

From here, the next stop is Cuba, and we continue to see strong support for a landfall just to the west of Santiago de Cuba, the second largest city in the country. Jamaica will take a big bite out of Melissa for sure, though the center should pass just west of the highest terrain and over a relatively narrower part of the island. I would anticipate that a category 3 or 4 storm is likely to hit Cuba tomorrow morning. As previously noted, this looks worse than Sandy and potentially the worst on record in eastern Cuba. The worst winds should pass to the west of Guantanamo Bay. But heavy rain and significant flooding are likely with over 20 inches more rainfall possible there.

Once across Cuba, Melissa will weaken a little more, entering the southeast Bahamas likely as a category 2 storm. The center of the storm and worst wind will likely pass near Long Island and Crooked Island, while impacts will be felt over a wider area, including for portions of the Turks and Caicos Islands. Thereafter, Melissa accelerates off to the northeast and starts to slowly turn extratropical in nature. This should allow Melissa to sustain as a hurricane all the way to Bermuda, where it will make a close pass on Thursday night and Friday morning. Bermuda will find itself likely on the east side of the storm, so significant rain and wind are likely there, but the impacts will be more muted in nature than in the Caribbean islands or even the Bahamas.

Melissa is a historic storm, and it’s almost guaranteed to have its name retired in the offseason, adding to a litany of “M” storms in the Caribbean that have inflicted so much pain and suffering, like Mitch and Maria. Our thoughts are with the affected areas, and we will provide some links on how to send financial help to those areas once the storm passes.

After the massive No Kings protests, we need bigger, more disruptive nonviolent campaigns that can go viral and peel away Donald Trump’s pillars of support.

American democracy is on the ropes. Donald Trump and his billionaire backers are doing everything possible to transform our country into an authoritarian state like Hungary or Russia, where the trappings of institutional democracy mask brazen autocratic rule.

Our president’s sinking popularity numbers might not matter so much if his administration is either able either to ignore electoral results or to distort the electoral map so badly that there’s almost no way to vote Republicans out.

Far too many Democrats and union leaders naively hoped that the courts would save us. But the Supreme Court has given a green light to Trump’s power grab, and it appears poised to overturn Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act, the last major legal roadblock to prevent Republicans from disenfranchising millions of Democrats and black voters across the South.

Are we cooked? Trump would certainly like us to believe he’s unstoppable. Faced with the administration’s relentless offensive against immigrants, free speech, public services, and majoritarian rule, it’s normal to sometimes succumb to despair. But there’s no need to throw in the towel — and there are concrete next steps we can all take to win back the country through nonviolent resistance. As Chicago Teachers Union (CTU) president Stacy Davis Gates reminds us, Trumpism “won’t be stopped just in the courts or at the ballot box.”

Reasons for Hope

Of the many good reasons why you shouldn’t give up hope, the first is that popular resistance is growing, as seen in the recent Indivisible-initiated “No Kings” protests, the largest in US history. Second, Trump’s policies are unpopular, and large numbers of Americans are searching for a viable alternative. Third, if opposition to authoritarianism and economic mismanagement becomes wide enough, an anti-Trump electoral wave in 2026 and 2028 might still be large enough to swamp electoral machinations. Fourth, Trump is very old, and it’s not obvious that MAGA can survive its megalomaniac ringleader.

There’s also a fifth, less-discussed reason for avoiding despair: authoritarian episodes abroad have tended to fail. A recent research paper by Marina Nord and four coauthors analyzed all authoritarian episodes since 1900 and found that a surprisingly large number have been stopped and reversed within five years — a process they call “U-Turns.” Their paper found that “52% of all autocratization episodes become U-Turns, which increases to 73% when focusing on the last 30 years.” (See Figure 1.)

Autocratization can be defeated through peaceful resistance. And in 90 percent of the documented cases of U-Turns, democracy levels were either restored to their previous heights (70 out of 102 cases) or improved (22 out of 102 cases).

Global precedent, in short, suggests that we still have a fighting shot to save American democracy. As the authors somewhat dryly note, their findings show “that authoritarian consolidation is perhaps more difficult than the existing literature sometimes posits. A second implication is that democratizing agents stand a decent chance of turning autocratization around.”

America has certainly entered a dark period when fifty-fifty odds to save democracy is the good news. But these chances should be more than enough to encourage us to push back rather than succumb to endless doomscrolling.

Time to Take Risks

Anti-Trump resistance is not futile. But it is risky. To meet this moment, more individuals and organizations are going to have to leave their comfort zones. We can’t just continue with business as usual.

Some individuals have already risen to the occasion. Look at the countless Chicago residents who are peacefully confronting Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents. Look at federal workers like Ellen Mei and Paul Osadebe, who put their jobs on the line by becoming whistleblowers and exposing how the Trump administration is undermining pivotal services like anti-discriminatory housing enforcement and SNAP food benefits.

Unfortunately, most progressive groups, unions, and churches have not yet seriously pivoted to the new terrain of rapidly consolidating authoritarianism. With some notable exceptions like Indivisible, far too many progressive and left groups remain stuck in their siloed, small-scale ways. And most unions — with notable exceptions like the CTU — have kept their heads down due to institutional inertia, a fear of provoking Trump’s wrath, or worries about alienating pro-Trump members. This is not a minor limitation. “History shows us that when authoritarianism rears its head, whether it takes root depends on the labor movement’s response,” note Jackson Potter and Alex Caputo-Pearl in an important new piece on how labor can meet the moment.

After No Kings, people are rightly wondering what comes next. These marches have been great at showing large numbers, but defeating Trumpism will require even broader participation and more bottom-up disruption. That’s how we shift popular opinion enough — and how we create enough of a crisis for elites — to overcome MAGA’s electoral machinations in 2026 and 2028.

Our biggest obstacle remains a pervasive sense of fear and powerlessness, especially among working-class people. To turn that around, we should start experimenting with disruptive, nonviolent, attention-grabbing campaigns that are easily replicable and that can go viral nationwide — something in the same wide-scale grassroots spirit as the immigrant rights upsurge of 2006, Occupy Wall Street in 2011, or Black Lives Matter in 2020. And because we have to sustain this energy beyond flash-in-the-pan mobilizations, we’ll have to lean on the momentum of these actions to build on-the-ground organization capable of further expanding and escalating the movement.

How could we spark such a mass nonviolent movement today? Here are two concrete tactics that may have the potential to galvanize a broad-based national upsurge against authoritarianism.

Freedom Fridays

Since most workers are currently too scared to strike, we’ll need a smaller group to get the ball rolling. A spark could come from anywhere, but it’s most likely to come from left-leaning layers who face relatively low retaliation risks and are deeply connected to the broader community. Top on this list are high school students and teachers.

In towns where Trump has surged ICE or sent in troops, high school students, with the backing of their teachers, could start walking out on Friday afternoons, taking to the streets to peacefully confront Trump’s goons, to inhibit their attempts to kidnap our undocumented neighbors, and to demand an immediate end to Trump’s armed occupation of our cities. Teachers, students, and family members who for whatever reason can’t risk missing class or work can join in once they’re free.

Building on viral social media agitation and in-person organizing during the rest of the week, such walkouts and actions have the potential to snowball from one or two schools at first, to a whole school district, to family members and other workers and residents. And once one city shows it’s possible, there’s a good chance this tactic would quickly spread to other cities — a chain reaction similar to the “Fridays for Future” high-school-led climate strikes of 2018–19.

While Freedom Fridays are currently most likely to catch on in response to Trump’s kidnappings and urban invasions, this tactic could be used for any widely and deeply felt issue, including attacks on free speech, essential public services, LGBTQ rights, or voting rights in the South.

No Kings, No Business as Usual

Authoritarian rulers can only survive through the cooperation of key“pillars of support” in society like businesses, schools, the civil service, churches, and the media. That’s why our best bet to defeat the Trump regime is by pressuring such institutions to distance themselves from authoritarianism and to side, explicitly or de facto, with the mass movement for democracy. As scholars of effective antiauthoritarian tactics note, “If these organizations and institutions begin to withdraw their support from your opponent (and some may even start actively supporting your movement), your opponent will no longer be able to maintain control.”

Experience abroad suggests that the most powerful tactic for expressing this type of broad antiauthoritarian alliance is a broad-based general strike — sometimes called a civic shutdown — that includes not only workers but also supportive local governments, churches, media institutions, professional associations, and even some businesses. Unfortunately, we’re not currently strong enough to launch such a stoppage. Our country’s main institutional pillars are now bending the knee to Trump, there haven’t been any wildcat strikes from below, and most top union leaders remain exasperatingly risk averse.

Fortunately, general strikes are not our side’s only powerful tactic. Our best bet might be to launch a concerted organizing campaign culminating in a “No Kings, No Business as Usual” day of action. On a chosen date — probably May 1, 2026, as the May Day Strong coalition is organizing toward — individuals, organizations, and institutions can participate in a wide range of peaceful but disruptive tactics to pressure pillars of support to move away from the Trump regime.

Depending on their risk tolerance, individuals could call in sick to work or school, refuse to shop, hold teach-ins at school or work, go on strike, or join nonviolent civil disobedience and marches with the goal of pulling away as many of Trump’s pillars of support as possible. Businesses could end their widespread collusion with the regime, sign on to pro-democracy pledges, voluntarily close on the day of action, post No Kings posters in their storefronts or on their webpages, or at least choose not to penalize those who walk out or call in sick. School districts could do some combination of school closures, mass teach-ins, and field trips to rallies. And churches and local elected officials could endorse the day of action and help drive turnout.

This wouldn’t be another No Kings one-off weekend march. It’d be far more disruptive, focused on pressuring pillars of support to break from Trump rather than just protesting in general. And perhaps most important of all, it would be based on months of sustained outwards-facing organizing. To build a powerful movement, it’s what happens between actions that’s most pivotal.

A big national launch call with high-profile guests could hype people up and explain the campaign game plan. In the months leading up to the action, everybody — workers, students, consumers, neighbors, congregants — could focus on pressuring key pillars of society to take a stand. We’d generate this pressure primarily through the time-tested heart of good organizing: talking with peers who aren’t yet on board and asking them to take a small action to show their support, like signing a petition to a CEO or showing up at a school board or Parent-Teacher Association meeting.

Students would reach out to all their fellow students, workers to their coworkers, renters and homeowners to their neighbors, church members to their religious leaders and fellow congregants, and so on. What this looks like on the ground will vary a lot by town and region, but national organizing trainings, distributed organizing structures, and joint tools — petitions, lawn and storefront signs, buttons, and so on — can help break down organizational silos and help generate a cohesive nationwide campaign of unprecedented scale and unity.

Crucially, in the process, we’d have to listen hard to what people outside our progressive bubbles believe, and we’d have to find concrete ways to show how Trump’s authoritarianism hurts ordinary Americans through higher prices, fewer good jobs, and less safety, security, and freedom. For working people on the losing side of pre-Trump politics, it’s not always obvious why they should care that much about preserving the democratic norms of a system that left them in the cold.

To every major American institution, one question will be posed over and over in a friendly but pointed manner: Which side are you on: the people’s or the autocrats’? This question would come with teeth, since big companies and other powerful institutions that refuse to take pro-democracy measures by a certain deadline would become disruption targets on the day of action and in its wake.

Though more than a few powerful bodies will refuse at first to support the day of action — many subsequent cycles of outreach and days of nonviolent disruption will surely be needed — a focus on peeling away Trump’s pillars of support is so crucial because ordinary people can see how their actions can realistically make a difference.

Part of what’s made it so hard to move beyond one-off protests against Trump is that we have so little direct leverage over him in between elections. People normally go to rallies then go home without much to do in between. But it’s not hard for our peers to see how they can pressure employers, companies, churches, media, schools, and the like, including risk-averse unions. Nothing dissipates despair like a clear plan to win with easy, actionable steps for involving millions of ordinary people.

Courage Is Contagious

There’s no guarantee that these proposed campaigns will catch on or succeed. Sometimes even the best-planned tactics fall flat; sometimes even the most heroic movements lose. Resistance is always risky. But at a moment when the Trump administration is wielding a wrecking ball against all our futures, the riskiest option is to do nothing.

Trump wants us to believe he can’t be stopped, because those who believe they’re powerless don’t fight back. Ignore his lies. We can defeat his power grab, and we can build a country where all people, not just the ultrarich, are able to prosper. Making that future a reality, however, will require a bit more bravery from many more people.

Once large numbers of ordinary Americans dare to flex their collective power, all bets are off. As my mom’s handmade sign at last Saturday’s No Kings rally put it, “Courage is contagious.”

Copublished with Labor Politics.

A reader writes:

I wonder if you could offer your perspective on something I’ve been wondering about for a long time now.

When I was 16 years old, I got my first job. The culture was one that I now recognize as abusive, and teen employees were regularly taken advantage of in some awful ways. At the time, though, it was my only experience with the professional world, and I assumed that much of it was normal.

I had excellent attendance and was always on time, but on one particular day, I was extremely sick — could-not-get-out-of-bed sick. (I would later find out I had scarlet fever, so extremely contagious and potentially dangerous.)

I was scheduled to work that day, so I called in sick for the first time. When I told my boss I was unwell and asked to stay home sick, he loudly mocked me on the phone to other employees and customers. “Joelle says she wants to stay home today. Wouldn’t you have liked to do that? But you came in anyway, didn’t you?” to anyone who would listen. He told me he expected me to come in. Although I definitely shouldn’t have, I felt powerless and intimidated and somehow dragged myself out of bed. On my way out the door, I explained what had just happened to my parents, who were shocked that I was going to work.

Later on during my shift, I was called into my boss’s office. He was furious with me. Apparently, my parents had called corporate to complain about his behavior (and it sounded like his boss had just laid into him). He chastised me for getting my parents to fight my battles for me. I apologized profusely and assured him that I hadn’t asked them to do that and had no idea that they had. I was mortified.

Now, I’m torn. On the one hand, parents should not interfere with their child’s work. On the other hand, his behavior was truly abusive and potentially put others in danger by intimidating sick me into going to work, and I was far too timid as a minor to have pushed back in any meaningful way on my own.

How should my parents have responded?

I can’t take issue with what your parents did!

I wouldn’t encourage parents to call their teenage kids’ employers on their behalf, let alone to lay into their teenager’s boss’s boss, but I have to applaud them in this case.

To be clear, ideally your parents would have stopped you when you were walking out the door and told you not to go into work when you were that sick and then, once you were feeling better, coached you on how to deal with a boss like this — including what is and isn’t okay for an employer to expect and how to handle it when you’re treated the way your boss treated you. That’s the most helpful way to do it, because that teaches the teenager how to handle this stuff themselves.

But it’s also true that an adult in a position of power had just shamed their teenager into going to work with scarlet fever and they were rightly pissed off. I can’t blame them for switching away from “parent of employee” mode and into just “parent” mode.

Parents shouldn’t get involved with the minutiae of their kid’s job, like calling to ask for a schedule change or complaining about an assignment. But sometimes a situation is egregious enough that it’s not unreasonable for a minor’s parent to get involved. And you were still a minor. I’m okay with it.

The post my parents called my abusive boss to complain appeared first on Ask a Manager.

1

FROWNIN’ AT NIGHT

THE WEEKEND

2

EMBERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

TAYLOR SWIFT

3

PORK ME WITH YOUR CHODE

SABRINA CARPENTER

4

RATTLING CHAINS AND SCREANS
(9-HOUR VERSION)

HALLOWEEN SOUNDS

5

SUSHI IS TOO EXPENSIVE

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

6

I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON

VIDEO GAMES

BEYONCÉ

7

DARK RISE OF THE ASTRAL
DREADNOUGHTS PART IV

ZACH BRYAN

8

YOU CAN’T PUT ME IN A BOX
(UNLESS IT’S A SEX BOX)

SABRINA CARPENTER

9

HHHHHHHHHHHHNGH

BOB DYLAN

10

SECOND CONTRACTUALLY
OBLIGATED DUET

LADY GAGA, BRUNO MARS

11

CLODGE (NEW SLUR)

MORGAN WALLEN

12

FINGERED IN CALABASAS

DOJA CAT

13

THERE’S A NEW FLAVOR OF CELSIUS
I REALLY WANT TO TRY

JUSTIN BIEBER

14

MOMS AND AUNTS
(THEY’RE BOTH SWELL)

BENSON BOONE

15

DRACULA IN MY PICKUP TRUCK

LUKE COMBS

16

TRENDING AUDIO

LOLA YOUNG

17

I JUST NEED 30 SECONDS
(FOR IT TO COUNT AS A STREAM)

JESSIE MURPH

18

SHORTS IN THE WINTER

JELLY ROLL

19

FOOK

OASIS

20

BIG ALIVE HAMBURGER
(CHASIN’ ME AROUND)

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

The post The Onion’s Top Songs: October 2025 appeared first on The Onion.

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GRENDEL pt8

candy

The sarcophagus is destroyed. Candy flies everywhere.

Girl: "This one tastes like Atari dust!"

Penguin: "Wow! These are kind of lemony!"

Girl: "Cirno?"

Cirno: "Uh.. Pass."

Fish: "..But the MATA memoirs?"

Fossangel: "I dunno, they probably buried the wrong thing. The third brother was a notorious ketamine addict. Probably dreamed it all up. Anyway - about why I actually came... EVERYONE I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!"

Fossangel: "I didn't actually come because of a prayer... I'll keep it short, y'all have been through a lot. Basically the management figured it was time and decided to go through with the Rapture."

Girl raises her hand.

Fossangel: "Life of eternal bliss in the spirit's paradise. Put your hand down. That being said, only one of all machines and critters qualified."

Fish: "Grende..."

Fossangel: "Grendel! Congratulations! Nothing really changes for the rest of you - you get to stay in Hell. So say your goodbyes. Gotta go soon."

Girl: "Master where is OpenBlade? It'll want to say bye too..."

Fish: "I'll get it......"

Fish: "This is a madhouse"

OB: "Sup Fish."

Fish: "Ob? All charged up? Everyone's saying bye to Grendel, he's being -"

OB: "Grendel? How do you know Grendel?"

Fish: "Everyone knows Grendel apparently."

OB: "How long was I out lol?"

Fish: "Wait - How do _YOU_ know Grendel?!"

TBC

https://analognowhere.com/_/auxcri

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In brief: Today’s update covers a lot of ground, from what a real fall front should feel like, to a chance of storms this evening, and just how cold it will get in the coming days. We also briefly discuss the catastrophic Hurricane Melissa.

What ‘real’ front should feel like

Houston has seen several cool fronts this fall, but we have always characterized them as weak. This is because they have mostly been ‘back door’ fronts in which a nose of drier air has pushed down into the region from the northeast, rather than the northwest. Typically these fronts have brought not abrupt change in winds or rapid drops in temperatures. This stands in contrast to the type of cold front that most of us think of, when a much cooler pool of air spills down from the north and northwest. If you happen to be standing outside when such a front passes you can feel it because there is an abrupt change in winds, and an almost immediate influx of cooler and drier air. Well, I am happy to report, that is the kind front we will experience today, along with a sustained stretch of cooler and drier weather in its wake.

Tuesday

Ahead of the front we are going to see a rather warm day, partly due to compressional heating as the front advances southward. Skies will be mostly sunny, with high temperatures reaching the upper 80s for much of the region. Winds will be generally light, from the south. The front itself will drop into the city this afternoon, and push off the coast this evening. I don’t think there will be too many showers or thunderstorms northwest of Houston, but as the front nears the coast it will find more moisture to work with, and this should result in a more robust line of storms in central Houston and for coastal areas.

The front will be moving quickly so flooding is not a concern, but there will be a brief period when damaging winds and potentially hail are a threat as the front pushes through. In terms of timing, I’m thinking 3 to 5 pm for a line from Katy to the Woodlands, an hour later for central Houston, with the front likely off the coast between 6 and 8 pm.

After this point we’ll see winds turn sharply from the northwest, with strong gusts tonight up to 35 mph. Lows will drop into the mid-50s by early Wednesday.

Wednesday

This will be a sunny and windy day. I expect winds to peak during the afternoon, when gusts could briefly reach about 40 mph, especially closer to the coast. Highs, otherwise, are likely to top out in the upper 60s. Lows on Wednesday night will drop to around 50 degrees in Houston, with cooler conditions for outlying areas. This will be our region’s coldest night in more than 200 days.

Thursday and Friday

These will be a pair of fine, fall days with lots of sunshine and high temperatures in the vicinity of 70 degrees. Friday morning should be the coldest of the week, with much of the area potentially dropping into the upper 40s. As for Halloween trick-or-treating we have precisely zero concerns, with clear skies expected along with moderate temperatures in the upper 60s, and light winds.

Saturday and Sunday

The weekend should see continued pleasant weather, with daily highs in the upper 70s, a touch more humidity, and nights in the 50s. There’s the potential for some rain on Saturday evening or Saturday night due to a passing disturbance, but I want to see more data before having confidence in such a forecast.

Next week

Most of next week will probably see something along the lines of high temperatures in the upper 70s to 80 degrees, with lows around 60, but I don’t have super high confidence in such a forecast yet.

Tropics

We haven’t said much here about the Atlantic tropics in the last month, when I wrote that the Texas hurricane season was probably over. (And indeed it was). However Hurricane Melissa bears a mention this morning, as this extremely powerful storm is poised to become the strongest tropical cyclone to ever hit Jamaica. We have ongoing, full coverage of Melissa at The Eyewall.

This storm is just about the worst imaginable hurricane: extremely strong and very slow moving. The only slightly positive note is that its core of strongest winds is relatively small. Nevertheless, Melissa is now bringing catastrophic damage to the Caribbean island of 3 million people, and compassion and help will be the order of the day in its wake.

The post Trump Accused Of Using Makeup To Conceal Ventilator appeared first on The Onion.

“Seven of the nine universities that the White House initially approached about a plan to steer more federal money toward schools aligned with President Trump’s priorities have refused to endorse the proposal.” —The New York Times

Dear Little Daisies Preschool,

Following the rejection of our university-level Compact for Academic Excellence by certain elite institutions, we have refocused our efforts on more receptive partners and a more malleable student population. Therefore, we are pleased to offer you a $250 grant from the US Department of Education. We trust that you will join our mission to restore rigor, accountability, and competitive spirit to the preschool sector.

To receive our largesse, you must adhere to the strictures outlined below.

Preschool as a Marketplace of Ideas

“Sharing is caring” cannot be the only allowable point of view when it comes to resource allocation. Sure, sometimes you might set a timer to switch up turns with the Magna Doodle, but you must incorporate a balanced approach and make space for “You snooze, you lose” and “Sorry, Charlie.” If the slower children complain about “fairness,” they can take themselves to Cozy Cube and think about where weakness gets them.

Language

English only, please. No Steven Steven, bo-beven, bonana fanna fo-feven.

Morning Meeting

Next time you do your Little Red Hen puppet show, make the moral clearer. Instead of not getting any bread because they are lazy, make it so Cat, Duck, and Pig lose Medicaid eligibility.

As for fingerplays, discontinue “Five Little Monkeys.” It advocates for a nanny state that’s unsustainable, with Mama calling the doctor five times in one night. Instead, emphasize rugged individualism. Some little piggies have roast beef, some don’t, and that’s just how the free market works.

Underscore to the children that Thumbkin clearly and directly identifies himself. No “Am I being detained?” or “I know my rights.” Just “Here I am. Here I am.” Encourage this as appropriate conformity.

“Simon Says” should be played twice daily, with no softening of the rules or second chances. Children need to learn that if they touch their tummies without permission, there’s a consequence. No appeals process.

Art

“Multicultural” skin tone crayons and other woke art supplies must be removed. We will provide an ample supply of Crayola Mango Tango for this year’s self-portraits, to be hung up at Open House.

No dot paints, sponges, or other tools that encourage abstraction. Renderings should be clearly identifiable and nonthreatening.

Reduce art time in general, especially for boys.

Free Play

Boys in the Block Area must submit proposals demonstrating positive ROI. Discussions about zoning restrictions or OSHA regulations are to be discouraged and potentially reported. Absolutely no unionizing.

Add some Melissa & Doug play purses (with compacts, false eyelashes, etc.) to your Housekeeping Center to encourage female participation. We call this “gender parity.”

Story Time

Fairy tales are fine when they teach practical lessons, e.g., Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood (girls should stay home safe) or Chicken Little (environmental hysterics get eaten). Avoid any fairy tales that frame wealth redistribution as heroic, such as those involving theft from lawful property owners via beanstalks. If you wish to read The Emperor’s New Clothes, it has to be the Kash Patel rewrite, in which the clothing is absolutely real and the Emperor is not ever naked.

OTHER ACCEPTABLE BOOKS: Kristi Noem’s Go Away, Antifa! and My First Border Detention Flip and See.

PROHIBITED: Any books promoting “chosen families,” “being yourself,” or “cooperation.” Todd Parr is rapidly rising on our watch list. Do you want to join him?

Please confirm receipt of this compact within five business days by returning the attached Schedule C and Certification of Ideological Compliance. Failure to respond will result in immediate reallocation of funds to your rivals at Hoppy Toads Preschool, pending their completion of the Patriotism in Play-Doh pilot program.

—The Trump Administration