Greendinos

As we recover from our holiday revelry and look forward to 2014, it's time for that most dreaded of traditions: making our new year's resolutions.

Of course we all know what the first one will be, so let's get that out of the way first:

(Submitted by Rachel K-L and found here.)

We will eat nothing but healthy fruits and vegetables for, like, at least a month.

But of course eating better isn't enough! We also have to run!

(By Sugar Sweet Cakes and Treats)

And apparently not just during commercial breaks. Bah.

Maybe Yoga would be easier:

(By Bratty Cakes)

This reminds me of one of my favorite cat pictures. No, no, I won't spoil it; just go see.

Oh, and this year we will get organized. We will sort and purge and scrub until our homes and garages are begging for mercy:

(By Jocelyn Burtis of Sugarbelle Cakes )

And we are going to save SO MUCH money:

(By Cakes by Sandy)

So we can finally take that trip!

(By Polkadots Cupcake Factory)

And then we're going to start that garden out back:

(By Cakewalk Catering)

And we're going to learn to knit. Or crochet.
Right after we learn the difference between knitting and crocheting.

(By The Walkden Cake Company)

And you know that button on the camera? The one on the side? Well, this year, we're going to learn what that does.

(By Studio Cake)

And we're going to read more:

(Submitted by Quay W. and made by The Cake Whisperer)

And finally finish that novel:

(By Little "Miss" OC's Kitchen)

And watch less TV!

(By Calamity Cakes)

[head tilt]

No, you're right; that's just crazy talk.

Besides, we have to save SOMETHING for next year, right?

;)

*****

Curious which bakers in your area have been featured here on Sweets? Then check out our Sunday Sweets Directory!

By now many of you are no doubt in that stress-filled haze of pre-Christmas panic - the one that results from too much shopping and too little eggnog. (Because, seriously, EGGNOG FIXES EVERYTHING.)

So listen, I want you to just sit back, relax, and let allll that holiday stress go. Because this, my friends, is your happy place.

See? LOOK HOW HAPPY:

(By Karla's Little Bakery)

Is this not the sweetest, artsiest bit of edible quilling you've ever seen? So perfect! Now I want to try quilling again just to make this pattern into next year's Christmas cards.

And speaking of cards, doesn't this remind you of all those vintage-styled pretties - the ones on thick cream paper with embossed lettering?

(By Alliance Bakery)

I think it's all the handpainting; it's just SO perfect it looks printed.

And now, ruffly goodness:

(By Inspired by Michelle Cake Designs)

See that pattern on the white? I love that pattern. I want it covered in crystals and made into wrapping paper - which I will then hoard, Smaug-style, along with thousands of rolls of sparkly Christmas ribbon, because I seriously can't stop buying that stuff.

Ahem.

You may have heard that the Three Wise Men brought the baby Jesus gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, but did you know they also brought something a little more festive?

(By Yuma Couture Cakes)

Because it's not a birthday party 'til there are balloons, dangit.
(That silhouette is too, too cool.)

This one makes me hum "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" - and with the right words, even!

(By Chanata sweets 'n Decoration)

That pop of lime green in the middle with the teal is just about the cheeriest thing ever, and I love the dusting of powered sugar snow on the chocolate pinecones. And did you notice this is an anniversary cake? SO SWEET.

This next one is as cozy as your favorite Christmas sweater:

(Photography by Simone van Den Berg, cake by Evelien Keijer)

It's also baffling the heck out of me, since I have no idea how the baker did it. She couldn't have individually piped every single "stitch," right? Right?? Please, someone tell me; I may lose sleep over this.

Another handpainted beauty with a vintage vibe:

(Found here, anyone know the baker?)

I'm digging the "snow" dripping off those berries and branches.

And this one manages to be modern and classic at the same time:

(Artwork by Illustree and cake by Three Little Blackbirds Cakes)

Black, white, and sparkly red glitter will never go out of style, people. NEVER.

And don't underestimate the power of a little red accent on a soft gray palette, either:

(By Of Cakes and Cupcake (and Apollo too))

Airbrushing done right makes me all happy inside.

You know, I've seen a lot of cakes, and I generally pride myself on being able to spot what's edible and what's not. This next one, though? Completely fooled me:

(By Gateaux Inc.)

I thought those were stacked hat boxes, but nope; it's cake, and everything on it is edible. The bells, the silky gold robe, and of course the sheet music sides. Plus the solid side has this gorgeous shimmer you can really only see up close:

Wowza.

And if you thought that was stunning, then hold on to your giant pearly antlers:

(By Cake Heart)

[gasp]

OooooOOOOoooooh.
And just like that, blue is my new favorite color.

Well, I hope you enjoyed, my friends, because your happy place is now closing. So get on out there, and go drink some eggnog. [lifting cup] Cheers!

Curious which bakers in your area have been featured here on Sweets? Then check out our Sunday Sweet Directory!

impostoralice:

askfordoodles:

smearedlipstick:

ghdos:

illrandomocity:

majin-k:

Did a bunch of dogs breakup a fight between two cats? Am I seeing this right??

Having none of that shit today.

“Ay man, y’all chill the fuck out. Y’all fucking up the party.”

I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING

Pack animals like dogs don’t tolerate dissent in their group because it weakens the pack’s social structure… There are similar clips on youtube of them breaking up rabbit and rooster fights… They don’t care what species you are, they just want you to CUT THAT SHIT OUT.

They don’t differentiate species because dogs think everything else is just a weird dog. 

Nine Inch Nails: “Disappointed” live at Staples Center, Los Angeles, 11.08.13.

Part of the feature-length HD concert film Tension, streaming free at nin.com/tension.

A rare example of what architectural historians refer to as a “fertility window”.

Follow on Twitter @BadRealtyPhotos

Native to the Malaysian rainforest, this orchid mantis does such a good job of mimicking local flora that it inspired Alfred Russell Wallace to propose that some animals mimic plants in order to lure in the pollinators they hope to eat.

It would also go nicely in a thematic collection with the pink fairy armadillo.

Eric Crinnian, a lawyer in Kansas City, Missouri, says that a police officer threatened to destroy his possessions and shoot his dog unless he was permitted to enter Crinnian's home without a warrant. The officer was apparently seeking two men who'd violated their parole; when Crinnian said he'd never heard of the men, the officer asked to come inside to verify that they weren't there. Crinnian told him to go get a warrant, and the officer said that, in serving such a warrant, he would be sure to destroy Crinnian's possessions and kill his pets.

Making such a threat is apparently legal in Missouri, if you are a police officer.

They wanted to know where two guys were, and Crinnian later found out police believed they violated parole.

“I said, ‘I have no idea who you’re talking about I’ve never heard of these people before,’” he said.

To prove it, he said police asked to search his house, Crinnian refused multiple times. He said they needed a warrant.

Then he said one police officer started threatening him saying, “If we have to get a warrant, we’re going to come back when you’re not expecting it, we’re going to park in front of your house, where all your neighbors can see, we’re gonna bust in your door with a battering ram, we’re gonna shoot and kill your dogs, who are my family, and then we’re going to ransack your house looking for these people.”

Man says police officer threatened to kill his dogs [Abby Eden/Fox 4 KC]

(via Techdirt)