I’ve been here on Tumblr, quietly posting, for well over a decade. Your account has existed for a few weeks. Who exactly is following who, here?

Not as far as I know, I’m afraid.

AI isn’t about truth though, just truth-shaped sentences.

Let me check and see if I married my cousin, wrote The Gold Bug, or died aged 40 in Baltimore in 1849. Hang on.

I’m back. I checked. Not looking good on those. I’m probably not Poe.

And then again, mob fronts and fairy rings are not entirely exclusive.

dduane:

themythicalcodfish:

my friend had A Thought on facebook and I thought you all should see it

(snicker)

Accurate.

catchymemes:

fuckyeahgoodomens:

Remember when ❤

So…There’s a scene in Good Omens Season 2 where we need an extract from Aziraphale’s Diary in the 1820s. And as we were about to shoot him writing it, Douglas asked if we could see a bit of the previous diary entry as well. So I wrote one. As it turned out, we are too close up to read anything of the previous diary extract and only the final line is visible, if that.

I hated to imagine it going to waste.

So here’s a small Valentine’s Day gift for any of you who need cheering up. You will need to imagine the rest of the story.

“Madam!” I said, “I do believe that you have entirely misunderstood me!”

The countess drew herself to her full height, which I believe would have been about five feet and seven inches, and stared at me, quite puzzled. “No,” she said, “I believe that it is you who are mistaken, Mr Fell. For never have I met a man of any kind who could resist my blandishments.” And then, replacing her garments (which took much longer than shedding them), she added, “I do not know what manner of a man you are, Mr Fell. I trust you will still help my brother with his little problem.”

“I am still there for him,” I assured her. “He is as good as freed from his durance vile.”

“You are an angel,” said the countess.

And so we left the matter. This morning, her brother rejoined her, released (by me) from debtor’s gaol. She was by all accounts delighted to see him.

POSTSCRIPT:

It appears that she was not a countess, he was not her brother, and they fled together for France leaving many debts behind them. I told Crowley all about the matter over a glass of claret, but he did not appear to be as surprised as I had expected.

Because he was the only person I wanted to play Crowley and he wasn’t doing anything else at the time that we asked him.

dduane:

😏

The people arrived at my house to film the ad. They had written the ad and gave me the script. It was about how scary mothers are. It would have been fine for Psycho, but it seemed very wrong for Coraline.

I had a jar full of buttons. So I wrote this in a hurry, and they shot it.

simonalkenmayer:

Watch this to learn how to put down toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny. As with “the kids these days are terrible” beginning circa prehistory (thanks Plato) this points to “men aren’t masculine anymore” and tracks it backward.

I keep saying nothing ever changes to those who know history.

myjetpack:

My latest cartoon for New Scientist

myjetpack:

for @newscientist
https://www.instagram.com/p/CoPPWLcspDY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

twixnmix:

Divine photographed by Andy Warhol, 1978.

I remember interviewing Glen Milstead, Divine’s alter ego, when he was in the UK promoting the film Lust in the Dust, in 1985. I thought he was astonishingly sweet. He was hoping to be able to play more male roles. (He loved Divine, but she was a much bigger star than he was, and he wanted to be recognized as an actor.) In 1988 he starred in Hairspray (as both Mrs Turnblad and the evil radio station boss): three weeks after Hairspray was released his heart gave out on him and he was gone way way too soon. Seeing photos of Divine always makes me smile.

supreme-leader-stoat:

nerviovago:

Those are some lovely pictures of trees.

randimason:

BBC Radio 4 Extra - Orpheus Underground

In case (like me) you missed it the first time, Orpheus Underground debuts on Radio 4 Extra this Friday.

Yes, those Vandals.

petermorwood:

lolawashere:

Meanwhile, on Twitter:

Brain farts, a thread

Reblogging this once again because, once again, it made me laugh.

petermorwood:

dduane:

dduane:

foreignobjecticus:

therobotmonster:

broadminded:

phanboyo:

the-haiku-bot:

inthememetime:

gossip-girl-of-middle-earth:

crazyquilt:

ask-the-awesome:

ask-the-dancingdreamer:

aphtomatomafia:

typesetjez:

othercat2:

celynbrum:

maverikloki:

penbrydd:

leonawriter:

everylineeverystory:

soggywarmpockets:

rnatthewgraygublers:

melancholicmarionette:

emmablackeru:

tassiekitty:

ranetree:

extravagantshoes:

cellostargalactica:

IT’S NOT ‘PEEKED’ MY INTEREST

OR ‘PEAKED’

BUT PIQUED

‘PIQUED MY INTEREST’

THIS HAS BEEN A CAPSLOCK PSA

THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY USEFUL THANK YOU

ADDITIONALLY:

YOU ARE NOT ‘PHASED’. YOU ARE ‘FAZED.’

IF IT HAS BEEN A VERY LONG DAY, YOU ARE ‘WEARY’. IF SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS, YOU ARE ‘WARY’.

ALL IN ‘DUE’ TIME, NOT ‘DO’ TIME

‘PER SE’ NOT ‘PER SAY’

THANK YOU

BREATHE - THE VERB FORM IN PRESENT TENSE

BREATH - THE NOUN FORM

THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE

WANDER - TO WALK ABOUT AIMLESSLY

WONDER - TO THINK OF IN A DREAMLIKE AND/OR WISTFUL MANNER

THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE (but one’s mind can wander)

DEFIANT - RESISTANT
DEFINITE - CERTAIN

WANTON - DELIBERATE AND UNPROVOKED ACTION (ALSO AN ARCHAIC TERM FOR A PROMISCUOUS WOMAN)

WONTON - IT’S A DUMPLING THAT’S ALL IT IS IT’S A FUCKING DUMPLING

BAWL- TO SOB/CRY

BALL- A FUCKING BALL

YOU CANNOT “BALL” YOUR EYES OUT

AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE, IT’S NOT “SIKE”; IT’S “PSYCH”. AS IN “I PSYCHED YOU OUT”; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASN’T TRUE.

THANK YOU.

*slams reblog*

IT’S ‘MIGHT AS WELL’. ‘MIND AS WELL’ DOES NOT MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.

SLEIGHT - DEXTERITY, ARTIFICE, CRAFT (FROM ‘SLY’)
SLIGHT - VERY LITTLE, FRAIL, DELICATE

IT’S ‘SLEIGHT OF HAND’.

DISCRETE - SEPARATE, DISTINCT, PARTED

DISCREET - SUBTLE, STEALTHY, DIPLOMATIC

BORN= existing as a result of birth

BORNE= carried or transported by

LIGHTENING = to make something less dark in color or to lessen its weight

LIGHTNING = bright flash of light during electrical storms

{This is quite helpful. Thank you Rebloggers.}

((adm: I just want to add-

Loose- untight

Lose- opposite of winning))

((ALSO: A fun trick - 

Affect = Action 
Effect = End Result ))

There = In that place

Their = belonging to them

can’t = a contraction for cannot

cant = a tilt or lean at an angle, usually to accommodate accessibility

Me thinking that this is child’s play and that I know it all already:

Me realising there are some things I didn’t already know:

TO- GOING ONE PLACE TOWARDS ANOTHER

TWO- 2, A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 3

TOO- A DESCRIPTIVE WORD, THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD, THE SHIRT IS TOO LOOSE.

TOO- A DESCRIPTIVE

WORD, THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD,

THE SHIRT IS TOO LOOSE.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I’m gonna add

ROGUE: CRIMINAL/REBEL/VAGRANT/ETC

ROUGE: RED MAKEUP

it’s rogues gallery, guys. Not rouge gallery. You’re making me think batman has an extensive lipstick collection.

If you’re talking about a weapons CACHE, it’s pronounced cash.

If you say cashay, that’s how CACHET is pronounced which means prestige and does not mean a collection of items stored together in a hidden/inaccessible place.

NO ONE IS ‘PREJUDICE"

PEOPLE ARE “PREJUDICED”

If he’s not moving, he’s STATIONARY.

If he’s a fucking space pencil, then carry on with STATIONERY.

If it’s wet precipitation falling out of the sky, it’s RAIN

If it’s someone ruling over people, it’s REIGN

If it’s holding back someone from (or getting someone to stop doing) something, that’s to REIN [them] IN (…as if you were using REINS on a horse)

(and oh yeah)

If you’re telling someone they’re going to have to reconsider an opinion or course of action, then they have ANOTHER THINK COMING

(because “another thing coming” makes no damn sense whatsoever unless they’re in some kind of monster movie, ffs)

Just adding:

HOARD - (n.) a collection of stuff, (vb) to collect a collection of stuff.

HORDE - (n.) a collection, group, mob or host of people, often unruly or barbaric.

PEEL - (n.) the outside skin of fruit, also (archaic n.) a tower house, sometimes spelled PELE; (vb) to remove the outside skin of fruit; by extension, usually as PEEL OFF, to remove clothing, but also (aviation) to break away, one aircraft at a time, from a larger formation.

PEAL - (n.) the sound of several church bells ringing together or in sequence; (vb.) to ring bells in this manner.

BREACH - (n.) a break or opening, usually in a wall; (vb) to make such an opening, also a whale rising clear of the surface of the sea. (The words BREACH and BREAK are distant relatives.)

BREECH - (n.) the bottom end of a gun-barrel, where it’s loaded; also (BREECH PRESENTATION) a baby being born bottom-foremost; also (n. pl.) BREECHES, a historical style of trousers ending just below the knee and (archaic vb) to BREECH, to dress a boy in breeches (adult clothing) for the first time.

English is…  Complicated.

And my favourite recent one,

It is “TO ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES” and not “TO ALL INTENSIVE PURPOSES”.

dduane:

carbonfiberpersonality:

lord-kitschener:

invaderxan:

#thank god somebody finally is catering to my needs as a consumer

Cleric ultimate weapon

cc: @petermorwood. 😏

Define “safe”.

Netflix could go out of business before more Sandman launches. A new, nightmarish pestilence could close the world down completely. The actors could all be eaten by weasels and the show would be shuttered.

But if there’s a Netflix and nothing unforeseen and tragic happens to close the world or the show down, then there will be more Sandman.

Do you know what the broadcasters do to showrunners who disclose significant things? They don’t just kill us. They make it so we have never existed. And our shows vanish with us. Hit shows like Headless Joe, Too Many Godmothers, Crab Hand Roll Mysteries and Where are my Knees? are now lost to the world, because their showrunners couldn’t keep secrets. You don’t want that to happen to me and Good Omens.

So the final paragraph would read,

IF YOU WANT TO IMAGINE the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends. And a summer that never ends. And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot…no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human… Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield… for ever. And then they fucked.

No, I’m glad to say I haven’t ever considered that.

Yes.

Kermit as Aziraphale.

A different Kermit puppet with dark glasses on as Crowley.

The Simpsons version of me is a murderous monster, while the Arthur one is basically just me. The Simpsons, every time.