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13 Aug 22:37

3 Piece Cornet Urinal Band for a Musical Interlude

3 Piece Cornet Urinal Band for a Musical Interlude

Submitted by: Unknown

13 Aug 02:33

Just to Be Sure

Just to Be Sure

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: fetch , funny , sticks
13 Aug 02:32

Where No Kitty Has Napped Before

Where No Kitty Has Napped Before

Submitted by: Unknown (via Geekologie)

13 Aug 02:32

Mom's Tupperware to the Rescue!

13 Aug 02:31

My Friends Are the BEST!

13 Aug 02:30

One REALLY Sad Bag

13 Aug 02:29

Dog Thinks It's Guitar

pun case dogs

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: pun , case , dogs
13 Aug 02:28

Thrilling

Thrilling

Submitted by: Unknown (via textfromdog)

12 Aug 23:09

Sample Wedding Ceremony: Short & Civil

by Emily

One of APW’s goals is to create a collection of sample ceremonies to aid and abet you in the creation of your own wedding ceremony (feel free to use them as inspiration to power through the last-minute panic of writing your own ceremony, or take them word for word to take the pressure off creating something from scratch). If you have one to share, send it on in and we’ll round them up like we’ve done with vows and readings when we get enough. In the meantime, here’s a short and sweet civil ceremony for those of you trying to keep things, well, short and sweet.

Maddie

  

by Genevieve Dreizen

Address

A wedding is such a wonderful occasion filled with hopes, dreams and excitement. We are here today to celebrate the love that Alex and Casey have for each other, and to recognize and witness their decision to journey forward in their lives as marriage partners.

May your love create a safe haven for you both on the journey that lies ahead of you. Lead with your hearts and take the time to do the simple things that will nurture your love.

Deeply listen to each other—to your dreams, and to your frustrations. Be helpmates. Be playful in finding new ways to give your love anew to each other every day.

Let your love be an inspiration to others to reach for what is good within us all. May your love be so abundant that you have plenty to share with the rest of us as well.

It is your love that has brought us together here today. May it grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year.

Vows and Expression of Intent

Do you, Casey take, Alex to be your partner for life. Do you promise to walk by her side forever, and to love, help, and encourage her in all she does? Do you promise to take time to talk with her, to listen to her, and to care for her? Will you share her laughter, and her tears, as her partner, lover, and best friend? Do you take her as your lawfully wedded wife for now and forevermore?

Do you, Alex take, Casey to be your partner for life. Do you promise to walk by her side forever, and to love, help, and encourage her in all she does? Do you promise to take time to talk with her, to listen to her, and to care for her? Will you share her laughter, and her tears, as her partner, lover and best friend? Do you take her as your lawfully wedded wife for now and forevermore?

Ceremony of the Rings

And now, seal your promises with these rings, the symbol of your life shared together.

Casey, please repeat after me:

Alex, this ring I give as token and pledge,
as a sign of my love and devotion.
With this ring, I thee wed.

Alex, please repeat after me:

Casey, this ring I give as token and pledge,
as a sign of my love and devotion.
With this ring, I thee wed.

Pronouncement & Kiss

Casey and Alex, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss!

 

How To Write Wedding Vows

How To Write Your Wedding Ceremony

Writing A Non-Traditional Wedding Ceremony

Sample Wedding Ceremony: Traditional & Secular

Photo by APW Sponsor Emily Takes Photos


Genevieve Dreizen lives on Long Island and splits her time between the things she most loves: officiating weddings, teaching kids, drawing, and loving on her dog. She’s been officiating weddings since 2011 everywhere from the banks of the Hudson River to the top of the Empire State Building. When she’s not marrying awesome couples to each other in Central Park, find her running, zumba-ing, or redesigning board games. She loves working with APW couples and would be thrilled to hear from you for questions and inquiries alike.

This post includes Sponsors, who are a key part of supporting APW. For more information, see our Directory page for Emily Takes Photos.

    12 Aug 18:44

    Boxer Pup, He's a Southpaw

    pun,southpaw,boxing,boxer,pup

    Submitted by: Unknown

    Tagged: pun , southpaw , boxing , boxer , pup
    12 Aug 17:22

    I Hope He's Not Plotting an Origin Story...

    I Hope He's Not Plotting an Origin Story...

    Submitted by: Unknown (via Niknaks Blog)

    12 Aug 17:21

    When You Walk Into the Wrong Class...

    When You Walk Into the Wrong Class...

    Submitted by: Unknown

    Tagged: school , mistakes
    12 Aug 17:21

    Jesus Died For Your Sits

    11 Aug 17:16

    The Window Decal to End All Others

    The Window Decal to End All Others

    Submitted by: Unknown (via Buy One Here!)

    Tagged: decal , windows , funny , t rex , g rated , win
    11 Aug 17:15

    Just Trying to Be an Optimist

    optimism real estate nuclear fallout

    Submitted by: Unknown

    11 Aug 17:07

    But Everyone Knows it Always Takes a Couple Tries to Stick in a USB Flash Drive

    But Everyone Knows it Always Takes a Couple Tries to Stick in a USB Flash Drive

    Submitted by: Unknown (via BionicSammich)

    11 Aug 01:11

    The Best 48-Hour, Cross-Country Trip for a Dream Dog Park Opening I've Ever Had

    "Yeah, I'm on my way to Lancaster to cover a dog-park opening for work."

    I'm at the car rental counter at Philadelphia International Airport. I've got about three hours of sleep under my eyes and the lingering remnants of a hangover (well darn if you approach 30 and suddenly three beers in a four-hour first date leaves you, well, "sick as a dog"). Yet I am undeterred by the woefully long line at the rental counter -- which is staffed by one worker -- and totally enthralled with my first press junket trip.

    After dealing with an irate customer, the woman at the counter seems to welcome my effusiveness: "A dog park opening? That sounds really fun!"

    Before I know it, I'm turning onto the freeway, embarking on a two hour drive to Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

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    As civilization thins out and the corn fields crowd along a road that narrows down to two lanes, I spy a horse-drawn cart containing young men in suspenders and straw hats, their only mark of modernity a plastic reflective triangle -- Amish. I think about how Pennsylvania houses one of the largest puppy mill operations in the nation, but mostly I think about how my phone battery is running out and how I'll be screwed if I lose my GPS.

    My phone battery is in the red by the time I get to the hotel. I have clocked nearly a full day of travel. I receive a welcome gift bag and upon crashing into my hotel room, immediately get to work getting myself acquainted with the press packet they've prepared for tomorrow's Dream Dog Park Opening. I wash the airplane grunge off me, have a hair off the dog that bit me by ordering a glass of wine, and set my alarm clock for a mere six hours. Sleep is for the dead.

    I'm late to my breakfast with representatives from the the Dream Dog Park because I'm so out of order I didn't check my email to find that breakfast has been bumped 30 minutes earlier, but no one seems to mind.

    "The dogs seem to know it's a special day for them," one tells me. I feel a little skeptical. Dogs are smart, but can they really sense something like that?

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    Upon arriving at the park, I listen as a woman gives me a brief tour.

    "This is all fake grass," she tells me. I'd hardly noticed -- it feels springy and soft, just like the real deal. "It'll last longer and it's easier to take care of."

    We walk up and down the Roller Coaster Bridge, and I'm surprised by how good a workout it is, yet despite its steepness, my feet don't slip.

    "The wood's been treated and the ground has grip, so dogs won't slide around on it, even when it's wet," she says.

    There's a Tree of Dreams that launches tennis balls from its boughs and a water fountain that won't go stagnant and dangerous.

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    The Tree of Dreams.

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    That's an aspect of the old dog park that really stood out to me and that really seemed to bug contest winner Angela Bauman as well. In her video entry for the Beneful Dream Dog Park, the camera pans over a bucket of water that looks like it smells. It must have struck a chord. Her amusement park themed Dream Dog Park Contest entry was selected not only by voters but by the Beneful Dream Team, whose 2013 cast comprises talk show host and Oprah buddy Nate Berkus, home improvement buff Jason Cameron, and pet behaviorist Arden Moore.

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    Mayor of Lancaster Rick Gray declared August 6th a holiday in honor of the Dream Dog Park.

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    Beau gives Nate Berkus a kiss as Angela Bauman laughs. Beau is all, "Quit talking! I wanna play!"

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    Beau surveys his dream park after running around in it.

    Bauman's dog, Beau, a German Shorthair Pointer, is running around the park along with a few other dogs. I feel as though in the time it takes to turn my back, suddenly the park is crowded with dogs and people. At its height, more than 1,000 humans and their dog friends attended the Dream Dog Park Opening.

    So -- full disclosure -- Beneful paid for my trip to the east coast, and I am aware of the controversy surrounding dog food and its manufacturers. But here's the thing -- I really would rather a dog eat grocery store dog food than garbage out of a dumpster. Marketing campaigns aside, Beneful did make a half-million dollar in-kind donation to the city of Lancaster, transforming a dingy dog park into a canine wonderland.

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    That's a happy dog.

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    That's a happy dog.

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    That's a happy fluffy dog!

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    That's a happy dog!

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    That's a happy dog … with a camera!

    I get to speak briefly with Arden Moore, and I ask whether she thinks the dogs know this is a special day. "They absolutely know!" she says, "Just look at them. There's lots of signs of happy dogs -- relaxed tails, play bowing, and chasing." Indeed, despite the crowd of dogs, there is not one scuffle among them.

    Moore worked with contractor Jason Cameron to make sure the park is not only beautiful and durable, but safe for dogs big and small -- the nonslip surface of the Roller Coaster Bridge was Moore's idea, the gorgeous weather-treated wood was Cameron's.

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    Jason Cameron and Arden Moore worked together on the park.

    Wandering the park, lost in my own sleep-deprived dream-daze, I come across Ziggy and his human friend, Patty Myers, and my heart stops. Ziggy is a bigger, rust-colored dog and he is wheelchair bound. From the way he chases a tennis ball through the water fountain, you wouldn't know he's suffering from a degenerate disease which is slowly robbing him of mobility. Rather than put the lively 10-year-old dog to sleep, Myers opted for a set of rear wheels. Nate Berkus notices Ziggy, and as security sweeps people aside, the host kneels down to toss the ball for Ziggy to a chorus of shutter snaps.

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    Nate Berkus poses with Ziggy the dog.

    It's cheesy, but Ziggy doesn't care. Ziggy doesn't care that my heart breaks a little as I watch him trundle off, his rear legs limp in their harnesses. Ziggy doesn't care about anything besides a neon yellow tennis ball and chomping in delight at a surprise spurt of water. He doesn't care about the brand name that adorns the park entrance -- all Ziggy knows is that his formerly wood-chip-filled dog park is now covered in smooth, soft fake grass, and that he can roam with freedom just like the other dogs. It's a dream come true.

    Later that day, I'm back in Philadelphia, climbing wearily onto the rental car shuttle that's going to take me to the gate so I can get on a plane for the second time in 48 hours.

    I hear, "Miss! Miss!" Turning, there's the woman who rented my car to me the day before. "How did things work out at the dog park?"

    "It was so much fun," I tell her, "All the dogs were so happy -- as if they knew."

    Hours later, I'm back in San Francisco -- it feels like a dream.

    For the dogs and community of Lancaster, the Dream Dog Park is a waking one.

    Check out other fun posts on Dogster:

    About Liz Acosta: Dogster's former Cuteness Correspondent, Liz still manages the site's daily "Awws," only now she also wrangles Dogster's social media. That's why she wants you to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and -- her personal favorite -- Instagram. See ya there!
    11 Aug 01:02

    August 10, 2013


    The SMBC Theater team has a new GEEK compilation. Lot of my favorites in this one :)

    10 Aug 15:25

    Good Rule of Thumb

    10 Aug 15:25

    Who Needs Hedge Clippers?

    Who Needs Hedge Clippers?

    Submitted by: Unknown (via nik)

    10 Aug 15:24

    That's Usually What Happens Anyway

    That's Usually What Happens Anyway

    Submitted by: Unknown (via jonnovstheinternet)

    10 Aug 15:22

    Driving a Piano Car in Grand Theft Auto IV is Magical

    "Makin' my way downtown..."

    Submitted by: Unknown

    10 Aug 15:21

    Knit One, Murder Two

    Knit One, Murder Two

    Submitted by: SteveMND

    Tagged: knitting , funny
    09 Aug 23:49

    The Contents Have Been Secured

    The Contents Have Been Secured

    Submitted by: Unknown (via Niknaks Blog)

    09 Aug 20:00

    Bear for You Undies

    by ModCloth
    Bear for You Undies

    Should you wish for cute company while you kick back, this pair of smiling bear underwear by Knickerocker is by your side! Knickerocker britches are handmade in the heart of Los Angeles for the gal who’s not afraid to have fun with her undergarments. Adorned with floppy ears that match the smooth satin silhouette of this sheer-back pair, your new undies are to thank for your chipper attitude. Invite a simple tank and quirky socks to chill with these cotton-gusset panties as you unwind adorably!

    Price: $34.99
    09 Aug 18:54

    Dang It, I Order Pepperoni!

    Dang It, I Order Pepperoni!

    Submitted by: Unknown (via Tumblr)

    Tagged: pepperoni , pizza box , dog , funny
    09 Aug 18:53

    Ping Pong Cats

    Ping Pong Cats

    Submitted by: Unknown

    Tagged: Cats , funny , ping pong
    09 Aug 18:25

    Very Strange...

    Very Strange...

    Submitted by: Unknown

    Tagged: wtf , strange , Cats , funny , aligator
    09 Aug 16:20

    Call a Plumber, We've Got a Leak

    puns leek leak - 7726137088

    Farfetch'd was here.

    Submitted by: Unknown

    Tagged: puns , leek , leak
    09 Aug 13:05

    Learn How To Chop Wood Safely

    by Brad
    Chop