Bill Hanstock

In honor of his twenty years on TV, Conan O'Brien (well, whoever runs his website) is uploading classic videos. Here's one from 1997 starring a still-on-SNL Will Ferrell as Scrub-a-Dub, who's kind of like Mr. Clean, if Mr. Clean were a real D. Longtime Conan writer Brian Stack says it ... More »

ALL IS LOST

GUYS. OSCAR COMPLETISM IS BACK. WELCOME. 

Sadly, it started with the disappointment that was All is Lost. 

Before I get too into this post, I want to discuss the spoiler level for this. Because the trailer makes it clear that this is a movie about a guy alone at sea busting his ass to survive, it seems fair to me to discuss details of that struggle without considering those details to be spoilers. I won’t give away the ending, obviously. Here we go.

All is Lost is the story of a man, alone, struggling to survive at sea. It is largely without dialogue - Robert Redford is the only character, referred to only as Our Man in the credits, and we only see him say about 3 words. It was a worthwhile experiment, but one that ultimately fails. There are several minor, survivable flaws, but I think the fatal one is that we are not (or at least I was not) sufficiently induced to invest in Our Man’s plight for survival.

The thing is, Robert Redford is not good in this film. It’s not that he’s bad, it’s just that he’s nothingness. He is just making his resting face in 80% of this movie. I’m sure he’s going for stoicism, and I think it seems like a striking, iconic performance simply because of the wordlessness of the film, but in a movie with no dialogue, we needed more from him.

Because ultimately this is the story of a 75 year old man who lives alone on a leaky 30 year old schooner in the middle of the Indian Ocean with antiquated equipment and if you want me to buy into his struggle, you have to give me SOMETHING.

Our Man’s crisis starts when his boat is punctured by an errant shipping container, which causes a leak that floods the lower level of his boat and destroys his radio. (We are left to ask: why on EARTH does he not have an emergency radio in a waterproof container?) He’s now alone, without the ability to call for rescue. He observes ominous clouds; hours later when the rain actually hits, he goes up onto the deck in a violent storm to, well, I’m not sure. Do things. Boat things. I’m not a boat expert, and there’s no dialogue, so why is he up there? This is probably stuff he could have done before the storm hit, right, when it was less dangerous? It seems so. Later when he abandons his sinking ship for a lifeboat, he fills a container with potable water, but leaves the release valve open and the water drains out.

So, is Our Man a lifelong boat expert who approaches this situation with straight-faced calm because he knows exactly what the hell he’s doing, in which case, why does he make these rookie mistakes (and not seem to realize he’s making them)? Or is he just a guy who set out for some post-retirement adventure but it turns out he’s underprepared for this life at sea, in which case, why isn’t he freaking the fuck out? It’s so muddled. In a film that is only character and action, they both need to really, really make sense.

There’s no denying though that All is Lost is thought-provoking as hell. Even though I had a lot of problems with it, I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw it three days ago, and I can’t wait for someone to combine the ambition of this film with a little more attention to character development.

Possible nominations:

Best Picture

Best Actor

Another day, another amazingly dead-on and glorious Sesame Street parody. This time it's Homeland, which we will refer to from here on out as "Homelamb." The segment includes jazz, that creepy topiary maze from the opening credits, and Brody — a.k.a. "Baaah-rody" — as a literal wolf in sheep's clothing. ... More »

d3dk0w:

nouraa7:

living the dream

Reblogging for life!

just like old times

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

mutantlexi:

cheskamouse:

thehappysorceress:

samuraiblack:

NIGHTGIRL AND POWERWING.

I think Dick is enjoying Peeg’s costume a little too much.

I think this works for me. =)

This is the best.

If you don’t like it, you can go fuck yourself.

People who do not think this is AWESOME are wrong

I thought people might get a kick out of this piece, especially of Karen’s Nightwing look. :D 

And so begins the gossiping, back-stabby portion of the 50 Shades lead actor fallout. The Hollywood Reporter has a behind-the-scenes account of the weeks leading up to Hunnam's departure, and it is pretty much what you'd expect: He was freaked out by all the attention, and he was only getting ... More »

"In the 2006 offseason, the [Spokane] Indians began a process to redesign their logo and uniforms. As per tradition, they began by avoiding the use of any American Indian imagery, but early in the process of redesign, the Spokane Nation contacted the team about officially supporting the team. In the process, the tribe gave permission to the team to adopt subtle and tasteful imagery, in order to pay homage to the team’s history and new connection with the tribe. The cooperation, called "historic" by the team, included the creation of a secondary logo written in Salish, the traditional language of the tribe."

If you’re gonna do it, this seems to be a pretty good way to go about it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spokane_Indians

This is how a weezul flies.

Classic Weezul quote.

No.

No thanks.

No.

Seriously, no.

No.

Earlier in the month, we learned that NBC was going to air a 30-minute concert special after the premiere of SNL. Based on the promo, and their track record, we didn't know what to expect. The end result was surprisingly straightforward yet unsurprisingly delightful. Directed by Roman Coppola, it featured three ... More »

It happens on Saturday, September 28. Hold onto your butts.

Let's take a trip back in time together. It was 2012. Taco Bell had just unveiled the Doritos Locos Taco. I was on Twitter.

I kinda feel like seeing how many Doritos Locos tacos I can eat.

— Bill Hanstock (@sundownmotel) August 31, 2012

A week later, we had arranged an informal contest. The inaugural Doritos Locos Taco Throwdown Oh-Twelve, or #DoLoThroDo if you're nasty. (We are nasty.) We -- and our friends around the country -- set out to see how many Doritos Locos Tacos we could consume in one hour's time. As it turns out, the answer is 17. That's the record, co-held by two intrepid travelers.

Fast-forward to present day. Taco Bell now has not one, but THREE different types of Doritos Locos Taco. The legend of #DoLoThroDo has grown. And it's September again. Which means it's time to rock.

So THIS SATURDAY ... yes, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, we are doing it again. Presenting Doritos Locos Taco Throwdown Oh-Thirteen. This time, it's personal.

THE PARTICULARS:

What: DORITOS LOCOS THROWDOWN OH-THIRTEEN

When: Saturday, September 28, from 7 p.m. ET - 3 a.m. ET

Where: The Internet

Hashtag: #DoLoThroDo

The Rules: AT ANY TIME within the time parameters listed above, when you first begin eating tacos (FROM THE TIME OF YOUR FIRST BITE), you have ONE HOUR to see how many Doritos Locos Tacos you can consume. When time's up, you're done. Partial tacos must be counted as partial tacos. YOU MUST PROVIDE PROOF, whether it be an Instagram of your discarded taco sleeves, step-by-step Twitpics of your journey, Vines, live streaming video, whatever. We encourage as much documentation as possible.

PLEASE REMEMBER NOT TO ORDER "SUPREME" DORITOS LOCOS TACOS. WE ARE NOT MANIACS.

Both Twitter and this post are the two official places for you to post said documentation. If posting proof on Twitter, you must tweet said proof to either @sundownmotel or @sorryeveryone and use the hashtag #DoLoThroDo. If posting proof in the comments below, just go crazy. We trust you.

THE DIVISIONS:

As previously mentioned, there are THREE types of Doritos Locos Taco, which brings some variety and/or difficulty levels to the proceedings. Here is a guide to the particulars:

Cruiserweight Division: Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos. The Cool Ranch has the mildest taste of any of the three available flavors, which means you can probably scarf them down more easily than the rest. This is the chump division. (No offense, chumps.)

Middleweight Division: In eating challenges, it is easier to eat a lot of things if you are able to mix up the "flavor profile." Thus, a mixture of MORE THAN ONE TYPE of Doritos Locos Taco is the middle-of-the-road challenge. If you're uncertain about how to proceed, we recommend this option.

Heavyweight Division: The original, the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco. Nothing compares 2 u.

Superheavyweight Division: As when the UFC unveiled the disastrous "Ultimate Ultimate" tournament, so too did Taco Bell unveil their most formidable Doritos Locos Taco, the "Fiery" or "Flamas." This is the most intense taste. Recommended only for the most reckless competitor.

Lactose-Intolerant Division: All of these tacos include cheese not just ON the taco, but in the VERY SHELL. We don't want to exclude anyone, so we are happy to let you order Fresco Style tacos, but at a FOUR-TACO HANDICAP. We are sorry, but we want to be fair to all involved.

Vegan/Vegetarian Division: You guys get your own competition! Black Bean Burritos (with or without cheese), Fresco Bean Burritos, Crispy Potato Soft Tacos (with or without cheese and sauce), whatever you want, just pick ONE ITEM and EAT THE MOST OF IT THAT YOU CAN WITHIN AN HOUR. We want everyone to be eating things. BE A CHAMPION.

TIPS:

- It's better to order at a restaurant. Trust us. You don't want your DoLos getting soggy and cold. Have a runner order you more as necessary

- Don't starve yourself during the day leading up to the event. That just makes you fill up immediately

- Discretion is the better part of valor. Don't cause a pants-accident because you want to be a big shot on the Internet

THE GLORY:

Is yours for the taking. Can you top 17 nacho cheese Doritos Locos Tacos? Can you be this year's overall winner? Guts: d-d-d-do you have it?

See you on Saturday for #DoLoThroDo. And we'll have a postmortem (hopefully not literally) on Monday. Stay safe. Stay eating tacos. Live mas.

Last year, the Internet and our colons shook with the advent of the inaugural DORITOS LOCOS THROWDOWN OH-TWELVE. Or, as is more commonly spoken aloud, the #DoLoThroDo. Here was last year's set-up. Sodium was consumed. Here was the brutal aftermath.

It is officially fall now, so it must be that time again. On Saturday, September 28, we gather once again to consume tacos. And consume them with aplomb. (You may also choose to consume them with a plum, but that is a weird and amateur move.) We shall gather on Twitter; on Vine; via Google Hangout; on Instagram; in comments sections. And we shall sup of the nectar of the Doritos Locos Taco.

If you need a refresher, here are the rules:

- Eat as many Doritos Locos tacos as you can in one hour; provide proof

That's it!

Well, okay, there's SLIGHTLY more to it than that. There is a window of time during which your hour of tacos must be consumed. (Between 4 p.m. ET and 3 a.m. ET.) There's also the issue of THREE different types of DoLo this year (as opposed to just one last year).

But fear not! On Friday, we will have a full preview on SB Nation, which will include the officially-sanctioned comment section for boasting, posting and the issuing forth of regrets. On Saturday ... WE DINE.

valueplus:

headhearthandstattoo:

French Cat. 

miau

Le chat du baguette~

There were a whole lot of girls on last week’s Billboard "Hot Country Songs" chart. There’s the girl in the current country No. 1, Luke Bryan’s “That’s My Kinda Night”: “You got that suntan skirt and boots / Waiting on you to look my way and scoot / Your little hot self ... More »

thealexandriaarchives:

Korean soaps are a thing of beauty.

Fox has given a script commitment to a modern spin on Les Misérables that will turn the story of Jean Valjean into a contemporary lawyer show. Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas is onboard as a producer, with a script written by Graham Norris. According to Deadline, it'll be a prime-time ... More »

Any RuPaul fan worth his or her salt knows that for years his tagline has been “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” But that’s not the only love-related advice he’s proffering. In a recent episode of webseries RuPaul Drives…, in which the drag pioneer gives rides in L.A. to hitchhikers, friends, and celebrities, Henry Rollins is the passenger. Ru beseeches him to open himself up to love, suggesting that he give romance a shot even though Rollins considers himself a failure at it for “not trying hard enough.” The whole thing is really lovely and it’s totally mind-blowing that the two are friends. Check out the video below.

Read More...

When you want to make someone mess their pants, a fake dinosaur always does the trick.



Forgive me, but this made me laugh. A lot. There are pranks... and then there are Japanese pranks. Not content with just giving the unsuspecting victim a fright, pranks of the Japanese variety are intended to terrify, traumatize and make you crap in your pants. They're also hilarious. So just watch as this poor guy wets himself, running away from what he believes is an actual dinosaur loose in the office. Some things don't need translation:

Read more »

Marg Helgenberger is returning to CSI this October for the show's 300th episode, CBS announced today. Her Catherine Willows character will reemerge when the current roster of CSIs investigate one of her old cold cases. Helgenberg left the show a year and a half ago, so it's not like it's ... More »

kateordie:

nevver:

How to kiss a girl

I have been fucking it up this whole time

DO NOT TELL HER YOUR INTENTIONS

Many heroes are really bad at their jobs, and for good reason: how many people want to watch a movie about Robocop dutifully standing outside in the parking lot with the rest of his support team while his superiors handle everything? Still, we often willfully forget about the gulf between what we see onscreen and what would probably happen in real life, and in the case (ha!) of everyone's favorite pair of paranormal-fighting G-person lovebirds, it may have been for the best. Because when you get down to it, there's a whole bunch of reasons why, despite their best qualities, The X-Files' Fox Mulder and Dana Scully weren't the sort of agents you'd really recommend for career advancement. I'm not saying they were bad people, bad characters, or even bad at dealing with aliens or demons or ghost rapists or stretchy people or what have you. It's just that, although I've only made it through the first eight seasons, something tells me these guys wouldn't have lasted very long if not for the dense layers of TV magic and fan love keeping them on a regular investigation schedule. Detailing why this is so is going to be a little more difficult than, say, calling the CSI characters out for not following correct forensic procedure, because a) The X-Files employed a scientific consultant and endeavored to be accurate when possible and b) many times the writers had other characters fully acknowledge the absurd things Fanox Sculder were able to get away with, especially in the later seasons, when that seemed to become a lot more interesting to them than a typical monster story. Mulder and Scully do seem to spend some time on the more mundane aspects of federal investigations, at least more than most television crimefighters seem to. But that doesn't mean that they still weren't hopelessly reckless when it comes to actual FBI protocol (of which I admittedly know very little) and common sense (of which I definitely know little). Obviously, some some seriously expired spoilers follow. 8) They're horrendously high-profile Quick: name five active real-life FBI agents whose names were the title of a '90s alt rock song. Can't? Secrecy would appear to be a fundamental part of the job for the X-filers' work, yet about ¾ through the series Mulder is described as being too well-known to show his face in Las Vegas, a city famous, of course, for being predominantly quiet and easy to spot people in. The seventh season took this idea to a whole new level, with two episodes in particular treating Mulder and Scully essentially as if they were celebrities first and law enforcement second: "X-Cops" had the agents appearing on national television, and "Hollywood A.D." even saw a movie made about them using their real names. Yeah, the movie was probably a flop, but it's a record of the agents and their work that anyone could theoretically see. By this point in the series, the two of them don't seem all that concerned with the security risks of their names and histories being public, and that's a bit of a problem if your entire job description involves matters of national security (Scully, to her credit, did hate being on TV). Oh, and for the record, part of me does want to see a movie featuring the Richard Gere version of Mulder, if solely on the chance that it might at least be better than I Want to Believe. Continue reading "Eight Reasons Mulder and Scully Are Actually Terrible FBI Agents" >

Remember the “controversy” over the interracial Cheerios ad? Some genius person decided to ask children what they think of the racist commenters and response to it in a unscientific experiment. Below are a few quotes from the kids reactions to questions from the facilitator regarding attitudes of racism, discrimination, and the actual meanness of YouTube commenters.

“That’s it? It’s just a Cheerios commercial.”

“They seem like a normal family.”

“How did they get angry? But… why?”

“What is this country for? Starts with an E… oh, EQUALITY.”

“So you’re wasting your time going on the internet, going to the comments to tell me some racial slur for a Cheerios commercial? That sounds dumb to me.”

Out of the mouths of babes, y’all. What did we learn? Racism is taught. This is the best thing you’ll see all day.

via globalgrind

It’s been about a year since Against Me! leader Laura Jane Grace came out as transgender, changing her gender and her name. Since that time, two of Against Me!’s four members have left the band, and they’ve finished work on their new album Gender Dysphoria Blues with producer Butch Vig and a makeshift band that included NOFX frontman Fat Mike. When I saw the band last fall, I heard a bunch of the songs intended for that album, and holy shit you guys, that thing is going to be an absolute triumphant heartwrenching monster.

But they still haven’t announced any plans for the album’s release. Instead, Grace is hitting the road for a short solo-acoustic tour, which basically still counts as an Against Me! tour, since Against Me! started as her own solo-acoustic project. And she’s releasing a tour-only solo-acoustic 7″ EP called True Trans. It features two new songs, “FuckMyLife666″ and “True Trans Rebel Soul,” both powerful jolts of singalong folk-punk, somewhere between Billy Bragg and early Mountain Goats. You would be well advised to use the widget below to stream or download those songs, because they are very, very good.

Read More...

These days it's nearly impossible to find a good cup of coffee and a slice of incredible cherry pie. That's made even more apparent after watching this supercut of all the times pie and coffee are referenced (and consumed) on Twin Peaks. There's even a doughnut or two in there, ... More »

There's still no official return date for Sons of Anarchy's sixth season — "September" is all FX has said so far — but this new promo has enough slow-motion jaw-clenching and teeth-baring to carry us well into the fall. So much! Plus intense glares between Gemma (Katey Segal) and Tara (Maggie ... More »