allie

Hundreds of people in San Francisco are walking the streets naked and sweaty and with a Band-Aid on their right cheek, because they finally snapped after Nellytizing themselves by listening to “Hot In Herre” on Latino Mix 105.7 for hoooooouuuuuuurs.

Starting at 3pm PST yesterday, Latino Mix 105.7 put on Nelly’s “Hot In Herre” and followed that up with some more “Hot In Herre” and more “Hot In Herre” and more “Hot In Herre.” The hotness in hurr hasn’t stopped. I played 105.7′s live-feed earlier this afternoon and lasted 45 minutes before I had to turn that shit off, because after I while I was like, good gracious ass bodacious, flirtatious, tryin’ to show faces. IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN! It was like a never-ending menopausal hot flash (aka what JLo suffered through while filming her “I Luh Ya Papi” video)

E! News says that Latino Mix 105.7 decided to trap their listeners in a hot fart bubble from 2002, because the station is about to go through a format change into Hot 105.7. So basically, those STUNT QUEENS are stuntin’. But I’m going to choose to believe that after performing the song for the ten millionth time, Nelly finally went crazy, barricaded himself in 105.7′s studio and is playing “Hot In Herre” on a loop to torture us all.

This Classic Toast post originally ran on Mar 11, 2014.

From the year 800 AD to 1450 the entirety of Europe's approach to painting was "It's impossible to know what an animal looks like, just draw a guy's head on it." This is their story.

Read more Two Medieval Monks Invent Art at The Toast.

New Orleans Police Department homicide detective Winston Harbin (protects and) serves the crowd with the “Wobble Baby” dance before the Endymion parade.

This isn’t the first time Harbin has been caught doing the dance on camera.

“I guess it’s the yin and yang of my personality, what I do,” Harbin said. “It’s about the kids and the families, letting them know I’m approachable. I like to see the smiles and the shock on their faces.”

via Reddit

Joep van Lieshout's CasAnus, a hotel shaped like a bunghole in the middle of a field in Belgium

Everyone loves hotels. There’s more to it than fresh towels, complimentary mints, and that preview screen for the porn channel. When we enter a hotel room and close the door, there’s a sense of calm that can’t be recreated anywhere else, the understanding that we’re finally out of the filth of our everyday existence. We are living, at least for the night, in a clean, well-lighted place.

This brings us to the anus hotel. More specifically, the Atelier Van Lieshout, CasAnus, 2007, a conceptual one-room hotel made by Dutch artist Joep van Lieshout. The hotel lets its visitors fulfill their lifelong dreams of curling up to sleep in a giant butthole.

Located on a small Belgian island halfway between Antwerp and Ghent, the anus hotel sits alone in the middle of a field, originally commissioned as part of the 30-acre Verbeke Foundation Sculpture Park, the private collection of Geert and Carla Verbeke-Lens. While visiting the park, guests often shack up in the anus, which only sets you back a paltry $165 a night, a small price to pay to hit the hay in a huge ham flower.

Anus Hotel guests will enjoy a double bed, shower, and central heating. The CasAnus series also includes a bar called the BarRectum, which is shaped like a giant intestine. I wanted to know what the hell was going on with this guy, so I recently spoke to Joep to hear more about why he decided to make a giant anus hotel in the middle of a field.

BarRectum

Is the anus anatomically accurate?
While CasAnus is anatomically correct, the last part of the large intestine has been inflated to a humongous size to hold a hotel room.

Wow. How did you build it? What materials is it made out of?
We built it in our workshop, Atelier Van Lieshout, and then had it installed on site. It’s made of wood, PU foam, and covered with a naturalistic colored layer of fiberglass-reinforced polyester. This material is our studio’s trademark.

How long did it take to build the anus?
Only a few months. The studio is quite used to working on large-scale projects and commissions. This summer, we built a 40-foot-high steel structure that combined an artwork, a blast furnace, and a dwelling. We’ve also made a human-powered sawmill/milking machine and cheese factory, and many other artworks.

How has the critical and public reaction to the CasAnus been?
The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Guests love to stay inside a piece of art, especially one in such an isolated, quiet location. It’s still a darling of the press even eight years after the project was completed.

How many people stay inside the hotel every year?
Anywhere between 200 and 250 people.

And what about the BarRectum, which is part of the same series?
The BarRectum is quite similar in idea to the CasAnus, except that it contains a bar instead of a hotel room and has a number of hatches which can be opened to serve drinks. It still belongs to Atelier Van Lieshout and has been exhibited worldwide, always serving as a bar at the same time.

Do you have any regrets about building a giant anus in the middle of a field?
Yes—not keeping it for ourselves!

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This past weekend was the annual AWP conference–the largest literary conference in North America. Buzzfeed asked 19 women writers at the event what they are tired of hearing about their work. Check out the rest of the images here.

Maya Dusenbery is an Executive Director of Feministing.

INT. NIGHT. A BEDROOM.

An alarm clock by the bed reads 4:00 AM. A sweating DAD bolts upright in bed, gasping.

DAD: I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH BOOKS ABOUT WINSTON CHURCHILL.

He glances at his bookshelves.

DAD: Wait. Yes I do.

He sinks back down gratefully.

***

A sleeping DAD is taking a road trip to an unclear destination. On the way he stops by an unfamiliar Starbucks, where the baristas do not know his name or his usual order, and they are out of world music CDs.

***

Someone has moved that paper. You know that paper. The paper that was just here. The special paper you needed but didn’t tell anyone not to move that was near the briefcase by the phone, just a minute ago.

***

The kitchen was finished. The basement never was.

***

A genie appears and tells your father that he can bring any U.S. President back from the dead for a single day. He’s overcome. He panics. The only name he can think of is Woodrow Wilson.

“Wait,” he says, as the genie snaps his fingers and disappears. “Wait, I didn’t mean it. I meant — I meant Teddy. I meant Teddy Roosevelt. I meant to say Teddy Roosevelt.”

Woodrow Wilson makes him listen to every one of the Fourteen Points before asking if he could get a ride to the library.

***

When he made it out to the driveway, everyone else was already in the car. “Come on,” they said in unison. “We’ve been waiting for you. We’re all ready to go.”

She was already in the driver’s seat, seatbelt on and everything. “I thought I’d drive today,” she said brightly, as if she was commenting about the weather or something equally harmless. “You can sit in the passenger seat.”

***

Read more Dad Nightmares at The Toast.

Dormitory Women
Cassill
1954, paperback edition, 1959

Today in vintage sleaze we have Dormitory Women by R.V. Cassill. This Lesbian pulp fiction has all of the ingrediants: bad girls, murder, sexual assault, revenge,  and for extra fun, an asylum. I am fascinated by the old pulp fiction covers. They just don’t do book covers like this anymore. These pulp fiction books are always fascinating. Just the stuff for cold winter reading.

Enjoy!

Mary

More Pulp Fiction:

Doctor, Heal thyself

Boy Hungry

Shanty Girl

The Needle

View the slideshow

Diana Ross
Wyeth
1996

Submitter: I found the following children’s biography at my local library. To me it seems very out of date. I asked a few kids and no one knew of Diana Ross. Hmmm? The book was published in 1996. Too old to still be relevant? There was a timeline in the back that only goes up to 1994. A quick search of Wikipedia shows many other events that happened after the publication of this book. I am no longer a public librarian. Still, I would have to think this is out of date?

Holly: In a word, yes. Here in the Detroit area, we simply must have a good Diana Ross biography! This reminds me of the time I bought a Supremes greatest hits type of CD for the library, and as it turned out it was – as Mary called it – the “wrong” Supremes.  Apparently that particular greatest hits album was created after Diana Ross left the band. She will never let me live down buying “the wrong Supremes.” Imagine what she’d do if she found this old, old biography in a public library? Her story continues, my friends, and there Ain’t No Mountain High Enough to keep me from weeding this one. (See what I did there?)

More Books of Music Past:

Pop Music Superstars

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?

King of Pop

Jive Talkin’

Did I wish this into existence with some kind of weird black magic juju? Hold me, I’m scared! Literally a week ago, I casually mentioned that Lindsay Lohan and Damian’s mini-Mean Girls reunion was nothing without bad-ass M.C. Kevin Gnapoor (birth name: Rajiv Surendra, but I think we can all agree he should just do the world a favor and legally change it to Kevin G), and then this morning Blohan posts this picture of the three of them to Instagram with the hashtags: #youcantsitwithus and #soquiche.

So not only did Linds grant my wish of seeing Kevin Gnapoor and the power and the glory that is his hair (it looks like a basket of tiny sleeping black lab puppies), but she also threw in a Ja’mie: Private School Girl reference? Did my heart just melt a bit for Blohan? Do I like Blohan now? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING, YOU GUYS??

(Pic: Lindsay Lohan)

thecivilwarparlor:

Valentine’s Day In The Civil War

The sending of Valentine’s Day cards, a tradition that is thought to have begun more than 20 years before Christopher Columbus went searching for America.

This Civil War-era Valentine features a portrait of General I.B. “The Fighting Duck” Richardson, a major general in the Union Army. This war-time Valentine envelope was postmarked Washington, D.C., of course.

http://www.worthpoint.com/books-paper-magazines/breathtaking-beauty-19th-century-valentines-day-cards

So you open up your valentine and there’s General Richardson, because romance

Mrs. Gorf wiggled her ears — first her right one, then her left — stuck out her tongue, and turned Todd into an apple. “Does anybody else have an opinion?” she asked.

Nobody said a word.

Mrs. Gorf laughed and placed the three apples on her desk.

Stephen started to cry. He couldn’t help it. He was scared.

***

Todd really tried to be good. He knew that if he talked one more time, Mrs. Jewls would circle his name. Then he’d have to go home early, at twelve o’clock, on the kindergarten bus, just as he had the day before and the day before that. In fact, there hadn’t been a day that Todd didn’t get sent home early.

Todd wasn’t really bad. He just always got caught.

***

Dr. Pickle was a psychiatrist. He had thick eyebrows and wore tiny glasses. He had a small beard on the tip of his pointed chin.

A psychiatrist is a doctor who doesn’t cure people with sick bodies. He cures people with sick minds.

Although Dr. Pickle had a pretty sick mind himself…

Eventually Dr. Pickle was caught, and he was no longer allowed to practice psychiatry. So he had to find another job.

He became a counselor at an elementary school.

***

“If I was married to Mrs. Gorf,” said Jason, “I’d be glad she never came home. He should thank us.”

***

“Hello, Mommy,” Mr. Gorf said into the phone, using Rondi’s voice. “No, nothing’s wrong. I just called to say I hate you! You’re the worst mother in the whole world. You’re ugly and you smell bad! It’s not fair: out of all the mommies in the world, I got stuck with you!”

He hung up the phone.

Rondi sat crying in her chair.

Mr. Gorf touched his nose. “Isn’t this a good game?” he asked. “Rondi is crying. And at home, her mother is crying too.” He laughed. “Too bad you won’t ever be able to tell her you’re sorry.”

***

She hated children the most. Every time she passed a playground, she heard them laughing and having fun.

So she became a substitute teacher.

***

Mrs. Jewls held her nose, walked up to Sammy, and removed his raincoat. She threw it out the window. But he had on still another one.

Sammy hissed. “Hey, old windbag, watch where you throw my good clothes!”

Mrs. Jewls put a check next to Sammy’s name on the blackboard. Then she took off another raincoat and threw it out the window. The smell got worse, for he had on still another one.

Sammy began to laugh. His horrible laugh was even worse than his horrible voice.

When Sammy first came into the room, he was four feet tall. But after Mrs. Jewls removed six of his raincoats, he was only three feet tall. And there were still more raincoats to go.

Mrs. Jewls circled his name and removed another coat. She threw it out the window. Then she put a triangle around the circle and threw another one of his coats outside. She kept doing this until Sammy was only one-and-a-half feet high. With every coat she took off, Sammy’s laugh got louder and the smell got worse.

Some of the children held their ears. Others could hold only one ear because they were holding their nose with the other hand. It was hard to say which was worse, the laugh or the smell.

Sammy stopped laughing and said, “Hey, old windbag, if you take off one more of my coats and throw it out the window, I’ll bite your head off.”

“They smell too bad for me to allow them in my classroom,” said Mrs. Jewls. “You can pick them up when you leave.”

“They smell better than you do, Pighead!” Sammy shouted.

Mrs. Jewls didn’t stop. She took off another one of his coats, then another, and another. Sammy was only four inches tall, three inches tall, two inches tall. At last she removed the final coat.

All that was there was a dead rat.

“Well, I don’t allow dead rats in my classroom,” said Mrs. Jewls. She picked it up by the tail, put it in a plastic bag, and threw it away.

Mrs. Jewls didn’t allow dead rats in her class. Todd once brought in a dead rat for show-and-tell, and Mrs. Jewls made him throw that one away, too.

“I’m glad Sammy isn’t allowed in our classroom,” said Rondi. “I didn’t like him very much.”

“Yes,” said Mrs. Jewls, “we caught another one.”

Read more The Most Horrifying Moments From Sideways Stories From Wayside School at The Toast.

phillyzoo:

Buckley, the Nigerian dwarf goat, showing off a bit during part of his agility training. Just check out that nimble hoofwork.

HATERS GONNA HATE

Of the many questions facing Seth Meyers on the eve of taking over Late Night, "How does one top the Roots?" was maybe the hardest to answer. On Twitter, earlier today, Meyers revealed his plan and it's a pretty great one. According to Meyers, Fred Armisen "will curate and lead the band, and continue to run it even when he's off shooting Portlandia." The news has been confirmed by NBC PR. Considering Meyers and Armisen spent many years at SNL together, including during Armisen's many character bits on "Weekend Update," hopefully this will mean Armisen will also act as the show's sidekick — like a hipster Paul Shaffer. It's also good to know that if Armisen doesn't prepare one night, he could bring Kristen Wiig on and the two can just wing it.

Update: The band will also include Les Savy Fav's Seth Jabour and Syd Butler on guitar and bass, respectively; Girls Against Boys' Eli Janney on keyboard; and session drummer Kimberly Thompson, who's worked for artists like Beyoncé.

Read more posts by Jesse David Fox

Filed Under: fred armisen ,seth meyers ,late night with seth meyers ,tv ,aww friends

….if you happen to be Giant Panda Da Mao at the Toronto Zoo!

As seen on VVV.

After hurting his back, Beck is back. We've already heard "Blue Moon," and now we have another lush yet understated ballad, "Waking Light." His new album, Morning Phase, is being called a tonal sequel of sorts to the sad-Beck masterpiece Sea Change, and you can hear that here. The album comes out on February 25. Good thing winter's not ending anytime soon, because this record seems perfect for it.

Read more posts by Jesse David Fox

Filed Under: beck ,waking light ,morning phase ,right-click ,music

AMC announced today that Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg officially will be writing and executive producing Preacher, an adaptation of the celebrated Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon graphic novel series. The deal was rumored last fall, but finally came through today. Preacher tells the story of Jesse Custer, a Texas preacher who is accidentally possessed by a creature named Genesis, which is what happens when an angel and demon get together. As a result, Custer is composed of pure evil and pure goodness, making him possibly the most powerful being in existence — more powerful than God. With the help of a vampire and his marksman ex-girlfriend, Custer goes on a mission to find God, who had recently abandoned heaven, Custer goes on a mission to find God, who had recently abandoned heaven. Sounds pretty intense. But don’t worry, in Rogen and Goldberg’s adaptation, he’ll sometimes use his power to create super-potent weed that makes him like crazy high.

Read more posts by Jesse David Fox

Filed Under: preacher ,seth rogen ,evan goldberg ,tv ,adaptations