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14 May 03:59

Leer

by Jae Miles

Author : Jae Miles, Staff Writer

The Gynler are a race that specialises in winning wars by slow, psychological means. They pride themselves on not having had to use a weapon of war in over a century. When it came to conquering Earth, they spent a long time in planning their opening move.

“It must be devastating to their collective psyche.”

“It must demonstrate our technological dominance.”

“It must be visible to all regardless of censorship.”

So they dusted off a strategy used three centuries before against a humanoid race called the Nondori: they attacked the Moon.
More correctly, they vandalised the Moon. Everyone knew about the Man, or Woman, in or on the Moon. Come joy or mishap, we smiled when we looked up on a clear night and saw the silver companion to our lives.
The Gynler struck the Moon with malicious precision. When we looked up the following night, a leering face peered down. Faintly comedic, fanged and horned, it was a perfect evolution of the infamous ‘Kilroy’ style of graffiti.

“We will leave them for a year. Let them quiver under the reminder of our power.”

Quiver we did – with rage.
That single act managed to achieve what centuries of diplomacy had failed to do: unite the nations of Earth. We plotted and schemed and frothed and spouted rhetoric and fortified all the while.
Kit Newman went to his boss with an idea he’d had at a barbeque outside the car repair shop they worked in. His boss laughed. Then stopped laughing and called his brother. Who called his boss: General Albert Simms. Again, the laughter turned to a thoughtful silence. Kit Newman got flown to London. Then to America. Then to Russia and on to China.
Four months and six days later, Kit Newman pressed the button at Canaveral that launched an old Ares V – carrying maximum payload – toward the Moon.
Three days later, Earth waited. Most watching screens, the rest standing in open spaces across the night side of the world.
Something grey-white blossomed dead-centre on that leering face high above. Within a few moments, the face was largely obscured by a pale blob. Around the world, humanity went noisily crazy and screamed defiance to the skies as they raised their glasses.
Sixty-five thousand litres of a blend that was mainly white exterior emulsion and anti-freeze makes a big mess. A glaringly obvious big mess when it’s slapped onto a vast, black scorched surface made by aliens who completely failed to understand human psychology.
Everyone agrees that the Moon’s surface will have to be cleaned up eventually. But before that, we’re going to wipe the Gynler off the face of known space.

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08 May 22:04

History Lesson

by submission

Author : George R. Shirer

“Do you ever feel guilty?” Red asked.

“About what?” asked Blue.

“About lying to the humans.”

“No,” said Blue. “Why would I feel guilty? They’re happy. They get to live full lives.”

“But they don’t know the truth,” said Red. “They don’t know that they’re just disembodied consciousness, enjoying a virtual reality that will never end.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” chided Blue. “Besides, they’re the ones who chose this. Remember? When we told them that their star was going to explode, it was the humans who asked for our help.”

“I know,” said Red. “But it doesn’t feel like we’re helping them any more.”

“You think too much,” said Blue. “You always have.”

“And these humans did not make the choice,” pointed out Red. “It was their ancestors. How long ago? A thousand cycles?”

“Who can keep track?” said Blue.

“I think we should contact some of them,” said Red. “I think we should discuss the possibility of reincarnation with them. We could reconstitute bodies for some of them and. . . .”

“Do you have any idea how long and tedious that would be?” complained Blue. “Why can’t you just enjoy things the way that they are? Why do you always have to be such a misery?”

“Excuse me for having a sense of empathy. Reincarnation. What do you think?”

“I think no,” said Blue.

“I think yes,” said Red.

Blue glared at him. “Deadlock.”

“Not if we ask Green,” said Red. “That’s why we’re a triumvirate. Remember? Majority rules.”

“Fine,” growled Blue. “Let’s ask Green.”

It took them a while to find him because Green liked his privacy. When they did find him, Green was sitting beneath a thought-tree, singing a song about love on dusty Altair. He stopped when Red and Blue appeared.

“Hello, Green,” said Red.

Green sighed. “Hello, Red. Blue. What brings the two of you here?”

Blue crossed her arms and nodded at Red. “Ask him.”

“I think we should reincarnate some of the humans.”

“I think it’s a waste of time,” said Blue. “They’re happy as they are. Why spoil that?”

“So you’re deadlocked and you’ve come to me to cast the deciding vote?” asked Green.

“Yes,” said Red. “What do you think, Green? Should we reincarnate the humans?”

* * * * *

The simulation dissolved into pixilated noise.

The teacher tapped her control pad and clicked her claws for attention. The students swivelled their eye-stalks toward her, respectfully.

“We all know what happened next,” said the teacher. “Green chose not to answer, leading Red to act on his own. This was in direct contravention of thousands of years of Triune custom and law.”

The teacher extended her eye-stalks, peering at the young crustaceans before her.

“And we all know what happened next. Don’t we?”

There were murmurs of assent.

“Red reincarnated several hundred humans and helped them establish a colony near the Cirdetaclan Nebula. There, they spawned and spawned and spawned again, becoming one of the most pestiferous nuisance-species in known space until they were wiped out by the Galactic Council.”

The teacher retracted her eye-stalks and shifted her stance. “And what lesson, class, can we learn from these incidents?”

There was no response. The teacher felt a familiar wave of frustration sweep over her, common to educators everywhere, regardless of species or social development.

“The lesson is simple, class: never trust an AI.”

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08 May 05:47

Thoughtful Gift

by submission

Author : Bob Newbell

The hunting party moved toward the caves at Es Skhul, about 20 kilometers south of Haifa, Israel. Of course, no one in the tribe would have recognized any of those geographic designations any more than they would have regarded the time as being 50,000 BC. The hunt had been comparatively successful. The party, which consisted of twelve men and three women, were anxious to rejoin the rest of the tribe.

One of the tribesmen grunted a series of guttural syllables that approximated the sentiment “The hunt went well. We will have to give thanks to the Light Raft.” The “Light Raft” was what the tribe called the Sun which they regarded as a luminous god that sailed across the sky.

“It is a star,” said the tribesman known as Argin. The word was foreign. It was not the word his tribe used for the lights that dotted the night sky.

“What?” his compatriot asked.

“Yes,” Argin replied. “We must give thanks.”

Argin fell silent. He was thoughtful and brooding, something his companions had noticed over the last few weeks. He used to be much more talkative, they’d noted. Now, he spoke little and usually said something strange when he did speak.

A star, Argin thought. That’s what the Light Raft is. But what does that mean? As he walked on, the answer to his question floated up from somewhere in the depths of his mind. It is a ball of fire, he thought. Or something hotter than fire. And so are the tiny lights in the night sky. They’re like the Light Raft but much farther away. And both they and the Light Raft are hot and bright because… He shuddered. He looked up at the Sun. He lacked the vocabulary to express what he comprehended. But in some vague sense he knew what nuclear fusion was.

He knew when his bizarre way of thinking had begun. It was after he’d encountered the other tribe. He had been out scouting on his own and had come upon them. At first, he didn’t know if they were people or animals. Their skin was hard and bluish. Their legs were jointed differently than his. Their raft had been damaged. Argin had the strength to lift some of the wreckage that the small, frail people of strange tribe could not. They were grateful for his help in repairing their–

“Starship,” he whispered.

Somehow, he understood, if imperfectly, that the world was a giant round rock moving around the Light Raft and that they had come from a similar rock moving around another Light Raft very far away. He knew that one of their shamans had touched his mind, reworked his brain. He knew that the strange tribe had been as his tribe is now a very, very long time ago.

Argin felt depressed. He was acutely aware of how simplistic and backward his people were. He felt ashamed and embarrassed that he himself wore an animal pelt and lived in a cave. He had ideas he couldn’t express. He had thoughts that he could share with no one because they simply couldn’t be made to understand. The other tribe thought they’d given him a gift but it was a curse. That night, his tribe sat around the fire and ate and talked and laughed while Argin looked up at the stars and wept.

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21 Apr 02:15

What Game Was Hillary Clinton Playing in '93?

by Brad
Bewarethewumpus

Grey brick? 90% chance it's Tetris.

Bf3

Hillary Clinton plays a game on a Nintendo “Game Boy” on her flight from Austin, Texas to Washington DC. Photographed by Ralph Alswang (April 6, 1993). Courtesy of William J. Clinton Library (via The Daily What).

20 Apr 22:13

"420 Blaze It"

by Brad
69f

The unofficial slogan of the national weed day.

20 Apr 21:36

Target Practice

by jon

2015-04-20-Target-Practice

Have you ever noticed that casual gamers have slightly smaller craniums, like babies or toy dogs? It’s weird.

We’re offering a brand new t-shirt for buying! It’s inspired by this comic and it goes a little something… like this:

fighttheinternet

19 Apr 20:56

A bill to fix America's most dangerous computer law

by Cory Doctorow

Senator Ron Wyden [D-OR] and Rep. Jared Polis [D-CO] have introduced legislation in the US Senate and House to fix one of the worst computer laws on the US statute books: section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, which forbids breaking digital locks, even for lawful purposes.

Under DMCA 1201, people and companies who make legal modifications to your property face civil and criminal jeopardy. For example, mechanics aren't allowed to break the digital locks on your car to diagnose its problems and repair it, meaning that it's a no-fooling crime to fix a car without a license from the manufacturer. The Internet of Things is being born with the inkject printer business model, where every part is locked so that it only works with approved components and consumables, from which monopoly rents can be extracted. Get ready for DRM on your dishes.

Wyden and Polis's Breaking Down Barriers to Innovation Act of 2015 goes a long way toward fixing this. It makes it unambiguously legal to break DRM for legal purposes -- so you could make a PVR that records your Netflix videos, a universal ebook reader that merges your Kobo, Ibooks and Kindle collections, or a drop-in replacement for Samsung's speech-to-text module that didn't record what you say in your living room and send it to third parties.

Though this is sponsored by two Democrats, it should be a no-brainer for any self-respecting Republican. If you believe in markets and property rights, there is no government interference more odious than a law that literally criminalizes doing legal things with your property just because the company that originally manufactured it would like to imprison you in its walled garden.

And while the obvious beneficiaries of this law are competition and innovation, the real effect will be to improve security. Since a computerized appliance is a computer with spyware out of the box, keeping digital locks intact has meant criminalizing people who report bugs in the computers we rely on utterly. Once the I-Can't-Let-You-Do-That-Dave business model is dead, the legal rubric for keeping bugs secret will also die.

Even more important: this runs directly contrary to the NSA's plan to make it technically impossible and illegal to run software they can't spy on. That only works if you don't have the right to jailbreak your devices.

Bill Introduced To Fix Broken DMCA Anti-Circumvention Rules [Mike Masnick/Techdirt]

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19 Apr 17:48

Moonshine

http://oglaf.com/moonshine/

16 Apr 16:21

What a Pot Head

Bewarethewumpus

Under the influence of pot, but the look of it.

cooking,drugs,funny,idiots,pots

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: cooking , drugs , funny , idiots , pots
16 Apr 15:06

The clone that wasn't

by Leigh Alexander

Could you design a brand-new game using only a deck of classic playing cards? It’s a cool idea -- repurposing familiar components in an original context. But the design for the game that would become Donsol was born out of necessity, the mother of invention. A pack of cards was all the creators had on hand.

Devine Lu Linvega developed the iOS version of Donsol, a game that sees heart suits re-cast as “health potions,” clubs and spades as “monsters”. Starting with four cards, the player gathers health and fights enemies, making their way through an imagined dungeon space making combat calculations -- the health cards versus the monsters. It’s a fascinating idea.

The only problem is that completely unbeknownst to Linvega, someone had already made it.

Donsol is almost exactly like Zach Gage’s Scoundrel. Was malicious copying afoot, or is it just that there’s only so much you can do with a deck of cards after all?

Linvega met John Eternal, who works for Sony, on the Train Jam earlier this year. Game developers buy tickets to buy the cross-country train to San Francisco, with the annual Game Developers Conference as the final destination. On the trip, they form tiny teams and make small games -- in game development, the “jam” environment posits that with unique settings and specific constraints, collaborative new ideas and relationships can form.

According to Linvega, Eternal turned up for the jam, but left his power supply behind. “Stuck on a train for 52 hours, he had to… improvise,” Linvega tells me. “He had a deck of cards, and he made this game.”

Linvega and his colleague enjoyed the result so much that Linvega volunteered to make a score-keeping app for Donsol on iOS. He ended up helping iterate on the design and contributing his stark, distinctive art style to the cards.

When Zach Gage found out about Donsol, it was an unsettling experience: The game was “basically identical” to Scoundrel, a game the prolific designer had created in 2011 along with Kurt Bieg. The similarities were so strong Gage found it hard to believe neither Linvega, whom he knew, and Eternal, whom he didn’t, had seen Scoundrel before.

Cloning, particularly on the App Store, is a crippling problem for game developers today. Releasing a high-quality game -- one that takes financial investment, time and design innovation to create -- on a mobile marketplace for even a tiny fee usually means a clone artist will quickly knock off the game wholesale and offer their nearly identical version for free.

When a game is popular, this means a cloner can siphon massive amounts of revenue from the original designer and enrich themselves via ads in the free app. Your average casual game player isn’t concerned with the difference between a free puzzle and the “authentic” original -- if they’re aware of an original at all.

The highest-profile case of this phenomenon recently is probably the case of Threes, a hooky number-puzzle that had its thunder stolen by 1024, a clone whose market penetration seems to have wildly outperformed the original. Mainstream outlets like CNBC, no better informed than your average consumer about the games market, even breathlessly celebrated the overnight success of 2048 -- a game that was itself a clone of a clone.

Apple has shown no inclination to curate or prevent clones on its platform, as it has no real financial incentive to address the issue. As much as the company has relied on games to showcase the appeal of its iPhone and iPad, at the end of the day it’s not interested in becoming a “games platform”. Even though smartphones and tablets could become the next great ecosystem of play -- the devices are virtually ubiquitous in the Western world -- saturation on the App Store and the prevalence of clones choking the financial viability of truly new, high-quality ideas on mobile marketplaces continue to inhibit game developers from investing meaningfully in those spaces.

But Scoundrel, while played heavily for a time in the small-world game design community (where it would certainly have the opportunity to be seen by and to influence many designers) never actually saw digital release, and today lives mainly as a ruleset; there’s no edition on mobile marketplaces at all, let alone one that sits beside Donsol. In fact, Linvega tells me, he and John Eternal were more worried about being compared to a different card battle game called Card Crawl (which also has some traits in common with Scoundrel, naturally).

“It’s very hard for me to imagine [Devine Lu Linvega] cloning someone, with his track record of originality,” a bewildered Gage admits. As a massive fan of Linvega’s work myself (read a profile I did of him here), I feel the same: The enigmatic creator hardly seems interested in populist trends, or even in media coverage.

He has a diverse portfolio of small works unified by a minimalist black-and-white design sensibility: A language-learning app, a strange alt keyboard, an alien diplomacy game involving bodily fluids and uncomfortable intimacy. My favorite Linvega project, Paradise, is a living universe of text, descriptions of objects nesting within one another, and any user can add to it. It’s easy to see why he’d be attracted to Donsol’s simplicity, but hard to believe he’d ever be interested in emulating anyone else for personal gain.

Both Linvega and Eternal say they never saw or heard of Scoundrel before. Eternal said the inspiration for Donsol was nothing more specific than Dungeons and Dragons; for Linvega’s part, he said it was his decision to distill Eternal’s suggested five-card “worlds” down into Scoundrel-like four-card ones. Both creators were more than happy to offer Gage a credit on their App Store game -- it seems as though the striking similarities were nothing more than a mistake. playingcards

Designer and teacher Naomi Clark is one of the greatest minds of the New York City game scene. I asked her how possible it is, how common it is, for game designers simply to have simultaneous ideas. Maybe there’s a limit, I thought, on how many things can optimally be done with certain components.

Game mechanics are nothing but sets of possibilities: for relationships between things, interactions between players, how nodes of an ecosystem can interact. “I tend to think of game mechanics as if they're things that are already out there in the world, independent of individual human beings -- that we're discovering something, rather than coming up with it all by ourselves,” she says.

“This explains why two people creating a game can stumble across the same mechanic, the same interaction and effect, even if they've never met, never played each other's games,” Clark continues. She’s even had it happen to her.

“It used to make me gnash my teeth, that someone else had also come across the idea that I was so proud of devising, and had beaten me to announcing or launching a game,” she says. “Over time, I've gotten much less attached to the feeling that any game mechanic could truly be ‘my idea’.”

For example, Clark is currently re-imagining cyberpunk dystopia card game Netrunner as a Victorian drama of manners (for fun, not profit): “A game is a lot more than a mechanic, and if anything could end up being ‘mine’, it'd be how I worked with a fundamental idea and molded other parts of a game to accompany it,” she says.

“The recent lawsuit over ‘Blurred Lines’ and its similarity to Marvin Gaye's ‘Got to Give it Up’ surprised many music-industry observers exactly because the conventional wisdom about songs is that only the lyrics and top-line melodies can be "cloned" or copyrighted,” says Clark. “Other aspects of a song, from the structure of the song's phrases to ‘classic’ rhythm lines and hooks, are shared in common between many songs.” playingcards2

As a relatively young medium that often courts very focused and intense fans -- the same people who go on to become creators -- game development is fairly insular relative to other media, and the pool of influences tends to be more limited. That’s why the idea of innovation is so widely worshiped in the design community, often invested with inappropriate primacy.

“In the case of the dungeon-crawling solitaire games, the creator of Card Crawl seems to have deliberately taken inspiration from Scoundrel, while the creator of Donsol describes the similarity as accidental,” says Clark. “Both are believable, not just because we can independently discover the same things, but because we're in a period when there's more and more overlap between digital game designers and board & card game designers.”

“The fact that all three games are presented as dungeon-crawling roguelikes definitely isn't just a coincidence -- it's also born from a shared cultural heritage,” Clark adds.

“Still,” Linvega tells me, “it's the kind of mistake you can only do once in your career.”

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16 Apr 03:02

Half-Life 2 Update - Gravity Gun > Modern FPS

by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Half-Life 2 Update.

15 Apr 19:07

Jobs Worth

by Jae Miles

Author : Jae Miles, Staff Writer

“Tom! Tom!”

I shake my head and massage my jaw as I sit up. The pretty woman crouched by me looks worried. Behind her I hear a struggle occurring. That has something to do with the pain in my jaw.

“Are you okay?”

Good question. I raise my hand for a pause and take stock. I’m in a nice suit, sitting on the grey carpet tiles of the floor next to an overturned chair. I glance at her name tag.

“I’m fine, Margaret.”

“Thank god for that! I thought he was going to kill you!”

He was? Fragmented memories return: Arthur Windemere, long-term claimant. He’d come in for a ‘New Year Restart’ review and – what?

“Give me a moment, Margaret. That shook me up a bit.”

I stand up and see a green-jacketed figure, presumably Arthur, being locked into restraints by a police officer while a pair of security officers hold him. He’s screaming all sorts of nonsense and they’re not trying to calm him down.

“Let me help you up.”

With Margaret’s assistance I manage to stand up and lean on my desk. He must have really clouted me one. A chap in a blue uniform hurries over to me.

“Okay, Tom, we’re going to go down to the medical centre and get you checked over.”

He escorts me out of the open-plan office, down a long corridor, into a white room where two nurses wait. I lie down as instructed and he proceeds to do a very thorough examination before looking me in the eye.

“How’s the head, Tom?”

“Things seem to be a bit jumbled –” I look at his name tag. “Andy.”

With a smile he whips out an injector and applies it to my neck. There’s a brief stinging sensation and a sudden warmth accompanies my mind settling.

My name is Tom. I am part of the Cleardown team. We go into the welfare centres and work with the stubborn cases, using our skillsets to identify and goad the temperamental ones into assault, drive the vulnerable to suicide and the needy back out onto the streets where nature will save us money before spring. I know every miniscule piece and combination of legislation to withhold welfare chips. Using that, I drag every claimant through a bureaucratic nightmare until they snap – or die. Dying is preferred: less datawork.

When they attack me in frustration they contravene the terms of their agreement with WFA (Welfare For All). Prosecution is inevitable and they will join labour units or get exiled to Titan. More importantly, they are removed from the ‘black triangle’ of foodpacks, freedata and hydrofare; thus ceasing to be a drain upon our society.

My predecessor was Steve and my successor will be Ulrich. We are designed to be fragile in certain ways, so it takes less than the usual amount of force to break us. The more severe the sentence, the better it is.

Andy escorts me back and Margaret has already tidied my work area.

“For a moment I thought we’d had another bad one like the bloke who used to sit here.”

“Bad?”

She looks at me, eyes misty with tears: “He got attacked and cracked his head on the desk. Poor Steve never had a chance.”

“You’re a caring woman, Margaret. This place needs more people like you.”

Her eyes narrow and then open wider as she smiles; having decided that I am sincere.

“You remind me of him.” She looks down, then back at me: “What are you doing after work?”

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15 Apr 18:50

Arkansas cops send malware to whistleblowers' lawyers

by Cory Doctorow

An Arkansas lawyer representing ex-cops who blew the whistle on corruption in the Fort Smith Police Department says that when he gave the police brass a blank hard-drive for discovery documents, they returned it laden with sneaky malware, including a password-sniffing keylogger and a backdoor that would let the police department spy on their legal opponents.

According to court documents filed last week in the case, Campbell provided police officials with an external hard drive for them to load with e-mail and other data responding to his discovery request. When he got it back, he found something he didn't request. In a subfolder titled D:\Bales Court Order, a computer security consultant for Campbell allegedly found three well-known trojans, including:

* Win32:Zbot-AVH[Trj], a password logger and backdoor
* NSIS:Downloader-CC[Trj], a program that connects to attacker-controlled servers and downloads and installs additional programs, and
*Two instances of Win32Cycbot-NF[Trj], a backdoor

All three trojans are usually easily detected by antivirus software. In an affidavit filed in the whistle-blower case, Campbell's security consultant said it's unlikely the files were copied to the hard drive by accident, given claims by Fort Smith police that department systems ran real-time AV protection.

"Additionally, the placement of these trojans, all in the same sub-folder and not in the root directory, means that [t]he trojans were not already on the external hard drive that was sent to Mr. Campbell, and were more likely placed in that folder intentionally with the goal of taking command of Mr. Campbell's computer while also stealing passwords to his accounts."

Lawyer representing whistle blowers finds malware on drive supplied by cops [Dan Goodin/Ars Technica]

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15 Apr 16:29

On Patrick Chapin, Round Six, And The Importance Of First Impressions, by Cedric Phillips

Bewarethewumpus

High drama in the world of colorful playing cards.

SCGLive Lead Commentator Cedric Phillips stops by to weigh in on the sloppy and disastrous details of one of the most infamous rounds of Magic ever covered.
15 Apr 14:35

Titanic As A SNES RPG

by Gergo Vas

Titanic As A SNES RPG

The largest ship of the early 20th century would also be one of the smallest JRPG settings, as seen in this video by CineFix.

The clip is based on the 1997 movie with visuals similar to that era and man that’s one of the funniest usage of Final Fantasy VI tilesets I’ve seen.

To contact the author of this post, write to: gergovas@kotaku.com

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15 Apr 14:31

Comic: 101, Part Two

by tycho@penny-arcade.com (Tycho)
New Comic: 101, Part Two
15 Apr 14:31

Horoscopes

If you live in the Northern hemisphere, anyway. In the southern hemisphere, due to the coriolis effect, babies are born nine months BEFORE they're conceived.
15 Apr 14:28

Stephen Hawking Sings "Galaxy Song"

by Brad
534

Check out Monty Python‘s extended special edition of “Galaxy Song,” the title track for the group’s 1983 comedy film The Meaning of Life, featuring a very appropriate guest vocalist: Professor Stephen Hawking.

15 Apr 14:18

explosm: By Dave McElfatrick

14 Apr 22:47

Hooray for Australia

australia,leaves,agony,funny

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: australia , leaves , agony , funny
14 Apr 16:27

Western Anime

by Ari Spool
Best_anime

YouTube and Tumblr users troll typical Disney shows by calling them “Western Anime,” but it’s surprising how many times video store clerks make the same mistake.

14 Apr 15:02

Tree Gets Revenge

by Ari Spool
A13

Perhaps this video indicates that Earth’s plant residents are rising up to attack their mammalian cohabitants.

14 Apr 14:56

Video Games, 2015

by Luke Plunkett

Video Games, 2015

Yup.

Video Games, 2015

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14 Apr 05:57

This dog's face is our new official reaction GIF to all of the things

by Xeni Jardin
ezgif-2404599171

Readin' your weak tweets like...

ezgif-2507875335

ezgif-2616145943

Video source:

[YouTube]

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14 Apr 03:22

Student Faces Felony Charge for Pranking

by Brad
Domanik-green

A middle school student in Florida is facing a felony charge related to cybercrime after the faculty discovered that the 14-year-old had improperly accessed the administrative network to vandalize the default wallpaper as a prank.

14 Apr 00:15

Your Beliefs Shape You

gods,hulk,funny,avengers

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: gods , hulk , funny , avengers
13 Apr 23:31

So When's Cheryl's Birthday?

by Brad
101

This tricky math problem from this year’s Singapore and Asian Schools Math Olympiad has gone viral on Facebook. The most popular answer? Cheryl is a such b**ch. For the correct solution, check the sidebar inside.

13 Apr 23:24

HOWTO make a working Apple ][+ watch

by Cory Doctorow


Like the pioneering 1979 Apple ][+, the Apple ][+ watch, built by Instructables user Aleator777, runs Apple DOS and associated programs (it even has tiny floppy disks) -- and like its predecessor, it's designed to be understood and modified by its owner.

The Apple ][+ shipped with schematics explaining how its boards and circuits worked; Aleator777's watch comes as an Instructable, with downloadable, 3D printable files and code so you can create your own. The contrast with the contemporary Apple philosophy -- best understood through their triennial petitions to the Copyright Office asking to put Iphone owners in jail if they run software of their choosing on their phones -- is stark.

CUPERTINO, California—September 9, 1984—Apple Computer Inc.® today unveiled Apple // watch™—its most personal device ever. Apple // watch introduces a revolutionary design and A BASIC USER INTERFACE created specifically for a smaller device. Apple // watch features A KNOB, an innovative way to SCROLL, without obstructing the display. The KNOB also serves as the RETURN button and a convenient way to PRESS RETURN. The CATHODE RAY TUBE display on Apple // watch features TEXT, a technology that ALLOWS YOU TO READ, providing a new way to quickly and easily access BASIC PROGRAMS. Apple // watch introduces a built-in VERY SMALL SPEAKER that discreetly enables an entirely new vocabulary of alerts and notifications you can HEAR. Apple Computer custom-designed its own 6502 PROCESSOR CUT IN HALF to miniaturize an entire computer architecture onto a PRINTED CIRCUIT BOARD. Apple // watch also features TWO DISK DRIVES to pair seamlessly with your MAGNETIC STORAGE DISKS.

Apple ][+ watch [Aleator777/Instructables]

(via Bruce Sterling)

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13 Apr 20:03

NSA declares war on general purpose computers

by Cory Doctorow


NSA director Michael S Rogers says his agency wants "front doors" to all cryptography used in the USA, so that no one can have secrets it can't spy on -- but what he really means is that he wants to be in charge of which software can run on any general purpose computer.

Rogers's proposal is no less stupid than the proposal made by UK Prime Minister David Cameron, but it's even scarier in that Rogers runs a highly technical criminal organization with state backing and a history of attacking the security of American computing infrastructure by deliberately introducing vulnerabilities into computers used by American citizens, businesses, and government.

There's no way to stop Americans -- particularly those engaged in criminal activity and at risk from law enforcement -- from running crypto without locking all computers, Ipad-style, so that they only run software from a government-approved "app-store." The world teems with high quality, free, open crypto tools. Simply banning their integration into US products will do precisely nothing to stop criminals from getting their code from outside non-US vendors or projects. Only by attacking the fundamental nature of computing itself can the NSA hope to limit its adversaries' use of crypto.

I predicted this in 2012, and I'm sad to see it coming true. The risk of this happening is why I've gone back to EFF to kill DRM in all its forms.

The split-key approach is just one of the options being studied by the White House as senior policy officials weigh the needs of companies and consumers as well as law enforcement — and try to determine how imminent the latter’s problem is. With input from the FBI, intelligence community and the departments of Justice, State, Commerce and Homeland Security, they are assessing regulatory and legislative approaches, among others.

The White House is also considering options that avoid having the company or a third party hold a key. One possibility, for example, might have a judge direct a company to set up a mirror account so that law enforcement conducting a criminal investigation is able to read text messages shortly after they have been sent. For encrypted photos, the judge might order the company to back up the suspect’s data to a company server when the phone is on and the data is unencrypted. Technologists say there are still issues with these approaches, and companies probably would resist them.

White House aides aim to report to Obama this month, though the date could slip. “We want to give the president a sense of what the art of the possible is,” said a senior administration official who requested anonymity because he was not authorized to speak on the record. “We want to enable him to make some decisions and strategic choices about this very critical issue that has so many strategic implications, not just for our cybersecurity but for law enforcement and national security, economic competitiveness overseas, foreign relations, privacy and consumer security.”

As encryption spreads, U.S. grapples with clash between privacy, security [Ellen Nakashima and Barton Gellman/Washington Post]

(via Hacker News)

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13 Apr 17:05

EarthBound Translated Into Portuguese!

by Mato
Bewarethewumpus

In case any of you native Portugese speakers haven't played it yet, no more excuses!

I’ve always been impressed by the Brazilian EarthBound community, and now they’ve gone and accomplished an incredibly difficult feat: they’ve translated the game into Portuguese!

See here for the latest patch!

I quickly took some screenshots from the beginning, but I’m considering doing a full run of it sometime since they put so much work into it!

earthbound-portuguese000 earthbound-portuguese001
earthbound-portuguese002 earthbound-portuguese003
earthbound-portuguese004 earthbound-portuguese005
earthbound-portuguese006 earthbound-portuguese007
earthbound-portuguese008 earthbound-portuguese009
earthbound-portuguese013 earthbound-portuguese015

Congratulations to TragicManner and everyone else who made this possible!