Shared posts

26 Jun 19:33

A Crowdfunder To Fly A "Trump Baby" Blimp Over London To Protest The President's UK Visit Has Smashed Its Target

Philip.paulsson

LOL nice

"Donald Trump is a big, angry baby with a fragile ego and tiny hands," the people behind the crowdfunder said.


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19 Jun 16:43

Google launches a Web client for Android’s SMS app

by Ron Amadeo

Android's default messaging client for 2018—"Messages"—is getting a Web client today. Google announced the feature launch on the official Google blog, which says "Messages for Web" will roll out to everyone over the next week. Android Messages started as a simple SMS app, but, with the Web client, it is turning into Google's ninth messaging service after (deep breath) Google Talk, Google Voice, Buzz, Google+ Messenger, Hangouts, Spaces, Allo, and the Slack-like Hangouts Chat.

We first heard about Messages for Web two months ago when it was announced that Google messaging service #7—Google Allo—was going to be abandoned after just a year and a half after launch. With Allo dead, the team moved over to Android Messages to focus on beefing up the app with some of the better Allo features, like this Web interface. Since Android Messages is just an SMS/RCS app, this meant Google would essentially cede control of Android messaging to the cell carriers and give up on building an over-the-top messaging service.

The website for Android Messages, Messages.android.com, is out today, and if the corresponding server-side update is live for your phone app, you'll be able to tap on the menu button in Messages and open "Messages for Web." Just like Google Allo, Android Messages bizarrely uses a QR-code based login system instead of your Google account, which comes with the major downside of only being able to log into one computer at a time. It's tied to your phone number, so you'd better keep ahold of those 10 digits if you switch carriers. You also can't use it if your phone is dead, since you won't be able to log in.

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19 Jun 12:04

Lionel Messi Pissed After Forgetting To Wear Fitbit During Last Game 

by The Onion on Sports, shared by The Onion to The Onion

MOSCOW—Lamenting that his fitness goals would now be thrown off for the rest of the World Cup, Argentinian forward Lionel Messi was reportedly pissed off Saturday after forgetting to wear his Fitbit watch during a group stage match against Iceland. “Shit. Of course the one time I leave it in the locker room, I go out…

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15 Jun 19:52

Drake Reunited The Whole "Degrassi" Cast For His "I'm Upset" Video And It Goes There

I DON'T KNOW IF I'LL MAKE IT THROUGH, TBH!


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15 Jun 16:18

Has The U.S. Men’s Soccer Team Earned The Right To Watch The World Cup?

by The Onion on Sports, shared by The Onion to The Onion
14 Jun 17:06

The US, Canada, And Mexico Will Host The 2026 World Cup

Philip.paulsson

Do you think the US men's team will even be in it?

The joint United bid beat Morocco to win the right to host the World Cup.


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14 Jun 14:39

Rudy Giuliani Calls In To Talk Show He Already On To Deny What He Just Said

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion
13 Jun 16:17

White House Staff Forced To Tape Together Presidential Records Ripped Apart By Trump

by The Onion
Philip.paulsson

I LOLed at the click thru.

In order to comply with the Presidential Records Act, White House staffers have been forced to sort through papers compulsively ripped apart by Trump and taped them back together. What do you think?

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12 Jun 16:39

'Overcooked 2' brings more culinary chaos to Nintendo Switch August 7th

by Billy Steele
Philip.paulsson

Great little game, looking forward to #2!

If you're looking for a healthy serving of culinary fun on Nintendo Switch, you'll soon have your chance. During today's Nintendo Direct for E3, the company announced that Ghost Town Games' Overcooked 2 will arrive on the console August 7th. When it...
12 Jun 12:51

Trump Touts Success Of Singapore Summit After Securing $10 Billion Trade Deal To Sell Nuclear Warheads To North Korea

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion

SINGAPORE—Saying the agreement represents a major high point in American international relations, President Trump concluded his summit with Kim Jong-un Monday by securing a $10 billion trade deal to sell both strategic and tactical nuclear warheads directly to North Korea. “There was some negotiating involved in…

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12 Jun 03:59

It Is With Great Regret That I Must Inform You People Are Printing Their Faces On Luggage

I've seen things on luggage you wouldn't believe...


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12 Jun 03:56

Mark Zuckerberg Promises That Misuse Of Facebook User Data Will Happen Again And Again 

by The Onion

MENLO PARK, CA—In an effort to demonstrate the social media platform’s total commitment to profits, Mark Zuckerberg took to his personal Facebook page Thursday to promise that the company’s misuse of personal data will, as of now, happen again and again. “We have a responsibility to our users, and if we can’t…

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11 Jun 14:30

Giuliani Says Kim Jong-Un Begged Like A Has-Been-Politician-Turned-Hack-Attorney Trying To Get A Job At The White House

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion

NEW YORK—Describing the pathetic manner in which the North Korean dictator debased himself while pleading for a meeting with President Trump, Rudy Giuliani claimed Thursday that Kim Jong-un begged like a has-been-politician-turned-hack-attorney trying to get a job at the White House. “He groveled like a washed-up…

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11 Jun 14:26

Justify, Bravazo Get Into Skirmish During Belmont Stakes Weigh-In

by The Onion on Sports, shared by The Onion to The Onion

ELMONT, NY—After weeks of trading insults and mounting animosity between the 3-year-old colts, the weigh-in for the Belmont Stakes erupted into an all-out brawl Saturday as Justify and Bravazo exchanged blows on the stage. “As soon as they hit the scales, the horses were in each others’ faces snorting, stomping, and…

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06 Jun 17:50

Trump Flubs Gaffe

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion
06 Jun 15:20

NAACP Issues Travel Warning For Black Americans Visiting Own Backyards

by The Onion
Philip.paulsson

Oh man, sometimes the Onion is too on point...

BALTIMORE—In response to a number of disturbing incidents occurring in the area, civil rights organization NAACP issued a travel advisory Thursday warning black Americans to exercise extreme caution when visiting their own backyards. “We urge African Americans to be very careful and vigilant when venturing out onto…

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06 Jun 12:45

Trump Struggling To Recall Words To U.S.A. Chant

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion
06 Jun 12:45

Major Breakthrough: Medical Researchers Just Announced That A 400-Pound Child Simply Ain’t Right

by Jewel Galbraith on ClickHole, shared by OnionNews to The Onion

Here’s some major health news that is totally going to change the way we think about the human body: A group of medical researchers just announced that a 400-pound child simply ain’t right.

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06 Jun 06:18

This Grocery Chain Is Going To Ban Palm Oil, And Yes, It's A Really Big Deal

Philip.paulsson

Nice. It's SO HARD to avoid...

Palm oil is the most widely consumed vegetable oil on the planet, and Iceland grocery stores plan to eliminate it from its products by the end of 2018.


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05 Jun 09:13

This Is What It Feels Like When You Tear Your Vagina

After my vagina tore, I developed some habits to control the pain.


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04 Jun 19:03

Dog’s Relief To Finally Get To Pee For First Time In 9 Hours Mistaken For Excitement To See Owner

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion
04 Jun 15:29

The Beach From "The Beach" Became Too Popular And Now They've Shut It Down

Philip.paulsson

@none this is the beach we went to. Luckily we got there early, but it was super crowded when we left.

Maya Bay on the Thai island of Koh Phi Phi became internationally famous when it was used as the setting for the 2000 Leonardo DiCaprio film The Beach.


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04 Jun 12:22

Woman Googles ‘Hangover Cures’ In Case There Been Any Scientific Breakthroughs Since Last Weekend

by The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Onion
04 Jun 09:04

The Expanse has officially been saved

by Samuel Axon
Philip.paulsson

YAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!

Enlarge / Martian Marine Bobbie Draper and her team get ready for action. (credit: Rafy/Syfy)

Amazon will become the home of The Expanse's fourth season, after cable network Syfy announced that it would not air any episodes after the conclusion of season three. The third season will continue airing on Syfy, but the series will become an Amazon Original in the United States for season four.

The news was announced by Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos himself at the National Space Society’s International Space Development Conference in Los Angeles, with cast members of The Expanse present. A session on The Expanse had taken place at the same conference earlier that day.

Last week, news hit that Bezos was a big fan of the series and that he was seeking a deal to save it. However, it was not a done deal at that time. The Expanse is produced fully by a company called Alcon Entertainment, but the show's continued production was dependent on Syfy's deal to air the show on cable. However, for myriad reasons, Syfy is locked in a strategy focused on traditional OTA (over-the-air) viewing—a mismatch with the genre's audience. The cable station also did not have the OTT rights to stream The Expanse on digital platforms. Amazon streamed the program in the United States some time after air, whereas Netflix streamed the program in some other regions.

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04 Jun 04:33

China Viewed From Above

Philip.paulsson

These are awesome. #7 has the best soup dumplings you'll ever have. And #25 is pretty funny.

  • People walk along a high cliff wall on a glass-floored sightseeing walkway in Zhangjiajie, Hunan Province, China, on August 1, 2016. #

    Reuters

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  • An aerial drone view of trees with fall foliage along a small lake in Nanjing, China. #

    Yaorusheng / Getty

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  • A section of the Great Wall near Beijing in winter. #

    Zhao Zhenhao / Getty

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  • A suburban neighborhood in Wuhan, Hubei, China, viewed on March 11, 2016. #

    Jie Zhao / Corbis via Getty

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  • A flock of sheep in Inner Mongolia's Gobi Desert on July 21, 2016. #

    Patrick Baz / AFP / Getty

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  • Longyin Temple, overlooking the Shunan Bamboo Sea in Yibin, Sichuan Province, China. #

    Eastimages / Getty

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  • Looking down on Shanghai's Yu Yuan garden after a snowfall. #

    Danny Hu / Getty

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  • A lotus field in Quzhou, Zhejiang Province, China, photographed on July 9, 2016. #

    Reuters

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  • Terraced fields near Tiger-Mouth Village, Yuanyang, Yun'nan, China. #

    Poorfish / Getty

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  • Looking down on part of Hong Kong, near Victoria Peak. #

    Pa_Yon / Getty

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  • Nanpu Bridge in Shanghai. #

    Yibo Wang / Shutterstock

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  • Piles of unused shared bicycles which were collected by police after they blocked pathways, stand abandoned in a field in Hangzhou, Zhejiang province, on June 28, 2017. #

    AFP / Getty

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  • Solar panels cover south-facing hillsides in a part of rural China. #

    Xieyuliang / Shutterstock

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  • Putuo Dao Island Temple on Erhai Lake in Dali, Yunnan Province. #

    Stanley Chen Xi / Getty

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  • An aerial view of Shanghai Pentagonal Mart in Huinan Town of Pudong District in Shanghai. This pentagonal marketplace, resembling the Pentagon in the U.S., became the largest vacant building in Shanghai in January of 2016. Completed in 2009 with a total area of about 500,000 square meters, the Shanghai Pentagonal Mart was left vacant because of its location and confusing inner structures. #

    VCG via Getty

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  • Dunes in the Gobi Desert in northwestern China, photographed on July 18, 2016. #

    Patrick Baz / AFP / Getty

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  • The largest Miao village in Guizhou, home to about 1,000 families. #

    Eastimages / Getty

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  • Employees work at a vinegar and soy sauce mill in Zhenjiang, Jiangsu province, on January 26, 2016. #

    Reuters

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  • Rapeseed in bloom in Yunnan Province. #

    Cnyy / Shutterstock

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  • A forest seen from above after snowfall in Xi'an, Shaanxi province, on January 31, 2016. #

    Reuters

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  • Jiangcun market in Xixi National Wetland Park in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province. #

    HelloRF Zcool / Shutterstock

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  • A high-speed train travels through Anshun in southwest China's Guizhou province on March 16, 2017. #

    AFP / Getty

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  • A residential area in Shanghai. #

    HelloRF Zcool / Shutterstock

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  • An aerial view of a frozen lake near Zhangjiakou in Hebei Province, northern China. #

    Zhao Zhenhao / Getty

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  • The Emperors Yan and Huang memorial in Henan Province. At 348 feet tall (106 meters), the statues were purposely built larger than Mount Rushmore. #

    Barry Kusuma / Getty

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  • People perform Tai Chi as part of a National Fitness Day event in Rongan in China's southwestern Guizhou province on August 8, 2017. #

    AFP / Getty

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  • Mountains in the Gobi Desert in northwestern China on July 18, 2016. #

    Patrick Baz / AFP / Getty

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  • Curved flyovers and multi-lane highways intersect in Shanghai. #

    Danny Hu / Getty

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  • Chinese fishermen draw a net as they catch fish in Qiandao Lake in Zhejiang province on March 29, 2018. #

    Johannes Eisele / AFP / Getty

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  • Aerial view of the Jiankou Great Wall on February 23, 2017, near Beijing, China. #

    Xiaolu Chu / Getty

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  • Green rice terraces viewed in the morning in Guizhou Province. #

    Eastimages / Getty

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  • This September 24, 2016, photo shows the 500-meter Aperture Spherical Radio Telescope (FAST) in Pingtang, Guizhou Province. FAST is currently undergoing testing. #

    AFP / Getty

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  • A twisting mountain road in China's Xinjiang Uygur Autonomous Region. #

    Danny Hu / Getty

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  • Aerial view of the Li River on a hazy day. #

    Yibo Wang / Shutterstock

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  • Fields are carved into the shape of a giant Bagua (eight trigrams) at Pipa Village in Zunyi, Guizhou Province, on March 27, 2017. The giant Bagua measures over 300 acres and was built by villagers of Pipa in less than eight months. The tourist attraction consists of sorghum, rape flowers, plum trees, and peach trees. #

    VCG via Getty

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  • Fall colors in trees lining the waters edge in a small lake near Nanjing, China. #

    Yaorusheng / Getty

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  • Zhangjiajie National Forest Park. #

    Tonnaja / Getty

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04 Jun 03:10

Triclosan, A Chemical Found In Hand Sanitizers And Cookware, Linked To Gut Problems In New Mouse Study

Philip.paulsson

Uhhhh duh? Don't eat toothpaste or hand sanitizer, kids.

After eating triclosan for three weeks, some mice developed a swollen colon.


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01 Jun 12:35

Inconsolable Jeff Sessions Tries To Commit Suicide By Smoking Joint

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion

WASHINGTON—Following months of bruising criticism from Democrats and President Trump alike, an inconsolable Jeff Sessions was reportedly trying to commit suicide Thursday by smoking a joint. “I swore I’d never take the coward’s way out, but what choice do I have?” said a teary-eyed Sessions, carefully laying a sealed…

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30 May 19:41

Oceans

by Reza

29 May 16:25

Ariana Grande Is Reportedly Dating SNL's Pete Davidson And Here Are The Receipts

Philip.paulsson

Those SNL dudes are doing well... Jost is dating Scarjo, too. ScarJost?

25 May 16:27

Other 193 Countries Begin Insulting Mike Pence In Hopes Of Avoiding Future Meetings With Trump

by The Onion on Politics, shared by The Onion to The Onion

BERLIN—Leaping at the chance to never again deal with the U.S. after North Korea’s disparaging remarks towards the vice president, leaders from the other 193 nations of the world began insulting Mike Pence Thursday in hopes of avoiding future meetings with President Donald Trump. “Mike Pence is just a dumbfuck…

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