Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML
Philip.paulsson
Shared posts
19 Nov 14:06
This Rare Sighting Of A Bigfin Squid Will Haunt Your Nightmares
Philip.paulssonGah!
Once again the ocean proves it is a scary and amazing place.
Meet the bigfin squid, an elusive and frankly quite terrifying cephalopod. This one was spotted in the Gulf of Mexico under 7,800 feet of water.
The photo is made up of stills taken from this video, filmed in 2007 by oil company Shell, near their Perdido drilling platform.
youtube.com / Via reddit.com
The first was seen in 1988 and only a handful have been seen since, mostly by cameras on remotely operated vehicles.
Watch the full video to get a better sense of this impressive creature.
Via deepseanews.com
19 Nov 14:02
Rob Ford As Van Damme Doing The Epic Splits Is What You Need Right Now
Philip.paulssonHilarious. And so well done, too!
Ask and you shall receive.
The Toronto mayor is crafted mayoral perfection.
"Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows? Only time..."
See the perfection here, compliments of Artjail.
18 Nov 19:59
Certain air travelers in Europe will soon be free to use smartphones, tablets, e-readers and music players during all phases of flight. An announcement today from the European Aviation Safety Agency (EASA) states that the organization will extend new guidelines by the end of this month, enabling the ...
Europe to allow gate-to-gate electronics use by the end of November
by Zach Honig
Philip.paulssonYay!
Certain air travelers in Europe will soon be free to use smartphones, tablets, e-readers and music players during all phases of flight. An announcement today from the European Aviation Safety Agency (EASA) states that the organization will extend new guidelines by the end of this month, enabling the ...
Daniellepretto likes this
18 Nov 14:51
The 19 Best Moments Of Lady Gaga Hosting "SNL"
Philip.paulssonWas definitely a good episode, I was amused.
Lady Gaga. R. Kelly. Enough said.
Lady Gaga hosted and performed on SNL, and it was pretty much one of the best episodes in recent memory.
NBC
Are you ready for the show's best moments? Let's go.
NBC
17 Nov 12:43
14 Times "Love Actually" Lied To Us About Love
Philip.paulssonOMG, I only just now realized that the guy with the cards from Love Actually is the same dude playing Rick (the leader guy) in Walking Dead. Woah.
It should be called Love Actually…NOT . In honor of the 10th anniversary of the movie’s release on Nov. 14, 2003, let’s remember all the times the best rom-com of our generation got it all wrong.
No one shows up at your house on a freezing cold night with cards professing their love to you.
Emily Orley / BuzzFeed
And if you do show up at your best friend's house and profess your love to his wife, she's not going to follow you down the street.
Emily Orley / BuzzFeed
Symphonies are never mixed in the audience at weddings.
Emily Orley / BuzzFeed
No one gets chased through an airport!
Especially post-9/11.
Emily Orley / BuzzFeed
17 Nov 12:41
Here's What Gauged Ears Look Like Without The Gauges In
Philip.paulssonEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I somehow never thought about this. OMG.
16 Nov 17:51
Here's Why "The Walking Dead" Doesn't Make Any Damn Sense
Philip.paulssonClearly they don't watch the show. Everyone is infected. And they're not counting all the dead people in their number. And why would you assume 1% of people are still around? Just poor though processes. Not surprising, considering the source is 4chan.
Look, I love nothing more than watching The Walking Dead , but after seeing the following question on 4chan , I don’t know what to think.
So, let's say the population of the United States is about 300,000,000.
The census bureau has the number at about 313.9 million.
Via yellowmaps.com
And let's be generous and say that 99% of the population is infected by the zombie outbreak.
So then it's safe to assume that there are about 297 million people infected and 3 million survivors.
Now let's assume that Rick's group isn't the only group left out of the 3 million survivors. If each group has about 20 people in them, then that leaves us with with 150,000 groups.
3,000,000 / 20 = 150,000.
15 Nov 18:38
Crack-Smoking Mayor Rob Ford Is Stripped Of His Power
Philip.paulssonIs there no way to impeach him or whatever???
Rob Ford’s wildly awful week somehow just got more awful.
Here's a photo of cunnilingual crack enthusiast Rob Ford addressing the Toronto city council yesterday. It's been a rough couple days of committee meetings for the mayor.
AP/The Canadian Press, Chris Young
The Toronto City Council voted overwhelmingly on Friday to substantially limit the embattled Ford's mayoral powers.
A vote of 39-3 stripped Ford of his authority to dismiss and appoint chairpeople, and a vote of 41-2 revoked his power to govern the city unilaterally in the event of an emergency.
So if a snowstorm hits, Toronto, don't call Rob Ford.
Following the vote, Ford stated that he understood where the council was "coming from" with these decisions, but would challenge the rulings in court.
These are the powers that Mayor Ford retains. He's basically being reduced to a political hype-man.
Another vote is set for Monday to render Mayor Ford even more powerless.
AP/The Canadian Press, Chris Young
15 Nov 17:01
Anonymous says FML
by Anonymous
Philip.paulssonNote in reader: Oh Ylvis! You silly Norwegians: http://gawker.com/pranksters-trap-shoppers-inside-ikea-showrooms-watch-t-1465091041/@neetzanz
Today, my boyfriend took me home for the first time. His place was covered in Insane Clown Posse stuff, even the toilet bowl. He's an undercover Juggalo. FML
15 Nov 14:51
19 Times The "Spongebob" Writers Said Screw Logic
And it only made the show that much more awesome.
That time Spongebob blew a bubble through his glass helmet.
sbmania.net / Via MTV Networks International
When Mr. Krabs tried to protect his money from rising waters even though he was underwater.
reddit.com / Via MTV Networks International
When a pine tree grew on the ocean floor but needed an oxygen tank to survive.
reddit.com / Via MTV Networks International
When the illustrators could have easily drawn an air bubble but said fuck it, this is funnier.
And it was.
14 Nov 18:11
Rob Ford Talked About "Eating Pussy" During A Live TV Press Conference
Philip.paulssonOh man, he just keeps getting better and better!
Well, OK then.
During a recent press conference, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford addressed rumors that he had sexual relations with his former policy advisor Olivia Gondek.
Ford concluded the press conference by saying:
Mark Blinch / Reuters
The best part though, is probably reaction of the on-air reporter after Ford leaves the podium.
14 Nov 12:38
There's A Subway Station In Moscow That Accepts 30 Squats As Payment
Philip.paulssonThey should do this in the US! Instead of paying a toll on the highway, you can get out and run around your car eight times.
And it’s all in preparation for the upcoming Olympics.
Olympic Change has the world going for gold, promising a free subway ride in exchange for 30 squats.
Its goal is to globally promote a healthy lifestyle.
Which proves the price of a subway ticket is, well...
Priceless.
14 Nov 12:38
26 Reasons You Are Rodney Ruxin
Deep down we are all The League’s perennial asshole.
You've got wicked awesome dance moves.
Corn dog, corn dog, corn dog.
FX / Via ackery.tumblr.com
You know your worth.
Friends might say you're immodest, but you're just telling it like it is.
FX / Via Tumblr.com
You readily admit you're a terrible person.
First step is admitting you have a problem, amirite?!
FX / Via tumblr.com
And your friends admire your terribleness.
A compliment is a compliment, right?
FX / Via Tumblr.com
Kevin White likes this
14 Nov 12:27
Texas School Hosts Speaker Who Encourages Girls To "Shut Up" To Be Dateable
Philip.paulssonHah! Like that dude has ever had a date in his life!
Tips on his website include, “A Dateable girl isn’t Miss Independent” and “Don’t try to be a guy.”
13 Nov 20:17
18 Things You Probably Didn't Know About The Movie "Elf"
Philip.paulssonSaturday Night Life? And.... RALPHIE! I had no idea.
Elf IS 10 YEARS OLD TODAY! Let’s celebrate with some fun facts! YEAH!
Jim Carrey was originally supposed to play the lead role of Buddy the elf.
When the script was first written in 1993, Carrey was tagged on to star. However, as I'm sure you know, over the course of 10 years, things change.
New Line / Via drafthouse.com
Forced perspective, not CGI, was used to make Buddy appear much larger than the other elves.
Just like the hobbits in the Lord of the Rings movies.
New Line
Will Ferrell suffered from headaches and lack of sleep during production as a result of all the candy he had to eat while filming.
New Line
As a sidenote, those cotton balls Buddy eats in the doctor's office? Cotton candy:
New Line
Lukaseichmann likes this
13 Nov 18:59
The PlayStation 4 is fast. The DualShock 4 is the best gamepad Sony's ever created. In 48 hours spent using the PS4 without its extremely comprehensive Day One patch, there are only so many feelings to feel about Sony's latest game console. We are in such a position this morning, having spent the ...
48 hours with the PlayStation 4: gaming and first impressions
by Ben Gilbert
Philip.paulssonTwo more days!
The PlayStation 4 is fast. The DualShock 4 is the best gamepad Sony's ever created. In 48 hours spent using the PS4 without its extremely comprehensive Day One patch, there are only so many feelings to feel about Sony's latest game console. We are in such a position this morning, having spent the ...
Ben likes this
08 Nov 20:15
probablydodgedabullet says FML
by probablydodgedabullet
Philip.paulssonI'd love to see that text...
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML
08 Nov 12:10
41 Ways Your Dog Makes Your Life 100% Better
Philip.paulssonDOGS RULE!
(I'd like cats, too, if I wasn't so allergic)
There is no love like the love of your furry best friend.
They always want to hear about your day.
But are cool with just hanging out if you don't feel like talking.
They're not subtle when they want you to read them a bedtime story.
They never give up a good opportunity for a dump-bomb.
08 Nov 11:57
19 Bejeweled Skeletons That'll Blow Your Mind
Philip.paulsson#2, #15, and #18 are all "Hey girl."
Oh, you didn’t know the skeletons of martyrs were unabashedly decked out in gems? WELCOME TO THE CLUB.
St. Maximus (Bürglen, Switzerland)
"He was believed to have been an Early Christian soldier who was martyred (hence the armor). He was decorated in the late 17th century and became associated with the legend of a feral white cat, which some believed was his ghost that prowled the village to check on its residents."
Paul Koudounaris
St. Konstantious (Rorschach, Switzerland)
"One of the finest decorated skeletons in Switzerland, he has been present in the church since the 17th century, but is now hidden behind a painted cover."
Paul Koudounaris
Head relic of St. Deodatus (Roggenburg, Germany)
"In some cases, not enough of the original skeleton was found to enable the decorators to articulate the entire body. That was apparently the case here, and a wax face and mesh veil were fashioned over the skull."
Paul Koudounaris
07 Nov 22:41
Biohacker has chip the size of a deck of cards implanted in his arm by a team of Do It Yourselfers, since no doctor would do the procedure. The chip sends body data to his smartphone. With bonus picture of his arm with "chip" post-DIY implant [Dumbass]
Philip.paulssonThat has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. All it does is track his internal temperature!!
Which I imagine is probably 110F or so around the infected part of his arm where this thing is.
07 Nov 18:51
Finally, There's A Way To Watch Your Favorite Movies In Under Two Minutes
Philip.paulssonSpoiler alert! Hah.
And thats by watching the entire movie as a gif. Spoiler alert obviously, because these gifs are of the whole movie. From Start to finish. The endings are in there too.
Finding Nemo:
The Shining:
Aliens:
Avatar:
Patrick likes this
07 Nov 14:02
25 Reasons "Masterchef Junior" Is The Best Show On TV
Philip.paulssonOMG What?! This show exists?! How am I not watching this already????
A new competitive cooking show with kids ages 8-13 sounds like it would be the most annoying thing ever. Instead it is absolutely delightful, and here’s why.
Because the kids are little angels and they cry when anyone gets sent home.
And it just breaks your heart.
And it's actually cute when they are super dramatic.
If an adult did this because he or she got saved from elimination, it would be obnoxious. When a 10-year-old with a New York accent does it, you die.
Because they can't even see over their mystery boxes.
And then are genuinely horrified by what is inside.
Why hide it?
Alisongrinter likes this
07 Nov 12:52
Real Life Rocketeer Flies His Jetpack Around Mount Fuji
Philip.paulssonI want one!
Also, JETPACKS!
The ability to fly is something human beings have been obsessed with since Icarus flew too close to the sun. We make it a character trait in our superheroes. The Wright brothers built an airplane. I once made a paper plane that fluttered to the other side of the classroom. Yves Rossy made a jetpack.
After retiring from the Swiss Air Force and his subsequent career as a commercial pilot Rossy began tinkering with the idea of a creating a jet-propelled wing.
Katsuhiko Tokunaga, Breitling / AP
07 Nov 12:48
Behold The Most Spectacularly Failed Hit-And-Run Attempt Of All Time
Philip.paulssonHahah wow. GTA in real life.
Well, it’s safe to say his insurance went up.
After rear-ending a Chicago cab driver, this guy had a really, really hard time getting away.
youtube.com / Via reddit.com
This happened.
Then this happened.
Then this happened.
07 Nov 12:45
It's stayed mum as speculation has run rampant about just what the "mystery barges" under construction in San Francisco and Portland, Maine will actually be used for, but Google has now finally offered its first official comment on the matter. In a statement provided to TechCrunch, a Google ...
Google finally talks barges: it's an 'interactive space where people can learn about new technology'
by Donald Melanson
It's stayed mum as speculation has run rampant about just what the "mystery barges" under construction in San Francisco and Portland, Maine will actually be used for, but Google has now finally offered its first official comment on the matter. In a statement provided to TechCrunch, a Google ...
07 Nov 07:03
34 Places That Are Even Better During The Winter
Philip.paulssonI have a feeling some of these look the same in the summer!
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
Lake Tahoe, California
St. John's, Newfoundland
The Tadami River in Fukushima, Japan
Via 1x.com
Bern, Switzerland
06 Nov 20:14
Nation Not About To Start Giving A Shit About Canadian Politics
WASHINGTON—Despite Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s recent controversial admission to having smoked crack cocaine, Americans across the country confirmed Wednesday that, Rob Ford or no Rob Ford, there’s just no way they’re about to start g...
    
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firehose likes this
06 Nov 18:31
The New "Call Of Duty" Copied And Pasted The Ending From The 2009 "Call Of Duty"
Philip.paulssonHahah! Guess I can skip that one, then...
“Maybe no one will notice!”
On the left is the ending of 2009's Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. On the right is a scene in Call of Duty: Ghosts, released yesterday.
Critics have taken the game to task for being a stale retread of the annual series.
Correction: An earlier version of this article stated that the scene from Ghosts was its ending. It is from earlier in the game.