Matt.weiland

Hoo boy, this is gonna be one heck of a tightrope to walk.  How about we get the obvious stuff out of the way right now and get to the story?  Chris Benoit was a murderer, and nothing changes that.  He was also one of the toughest and most accomplished technical wrestlers to ever step into a ring – nothing changes that, either.  These two points exist simultaneously and run parallel to each other, because the reality we inhabit is complex, strange and often unfair.  Have we covered the existential bases here?  Good, now try your best not to call anyone Hitler in the comments section and we’ll move on to this weird news story.

So, do you remember the new face-mapping feature implemented in WWE 2K15?  If you’re Photoshop-savvy, you can put just about anyone in the game… anyone, that is, except Chris Benoit.  Via Reddit, we’re just now learning that using Benoit’s face and sharing your new, custom Rabid Wolverine is a ban-worthy offense.  Here’s the tweet exchange between a banned gamer and Marcus Stephenson, 2K Games’ community manager for WWE 2K15.

If you check out the whole conversation, there’s a bit more to learn.  There seem to be quite a lot of Benoit community creations, and they’re all subject to deletion/bans at this point.  “How do you think that’s OK?” asks Stephenson.

Is anyone okay in this situation?  I’ll try and remember everything I can from my semester of Media Law And Ethics, but that was at least a year and a half ago.  So, if you buy a copy of WWE 2K15, it is YOUR property and you can do with it as you like.  But the way I understand it, the moment you decide to play online or upload shareable content, you enter into an agreement with 2K Games.  It’s sort of like the iTunes terms and conditions in the sense that people just click “OK” so they can get to the good stuff, I suppose.  But how specific are the terms in this case?  Is there an explicit “Thou shalt not face-map Chris Benoit” clause, or does this fall under a more general blanket of “offensive content?”  If that’s the case, who gets to decide what’s offensive?  And why is this just now an issue when people have been creating Chris Benoit characters on WWE video games for years?  In the meantime, the Reddit community is pointing out just how disconnected this feels, citing facts such as…

• You can totally have your custom wrestler introduced as “The Rabid Wolverine”
• Benoit’s matches are still on the WWE Network, although you can’t search for his name
• “I’ve seen face uploads of Hitler [in the game].  Chris Benoit is literally worse than Hitler.”

Ugh, what did I just say about calling people Hitler?

Bill Cosby, accused of sexually assaulting more than 20 women, has found a totally expected ally in singer Cee Lo Green, who pleaded no contest earlier this year to putting ecstasy in a woman's drink, and then asserted "Women who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!" Definitely the guy you want on your team.

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Below, you'll find a photograph that's been described as horrifying, disgusting, dark-sided, and "makes me feel physically ill." It's not all that shocking, though. It's just a My Little Pony doll that a man on the internet accidentally melted in a jar of his own cum.

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We already heard a rumor about Matthew McConaughey playing Randall Flagg in all four movies of Josh Boone’s The Stand adaptation. We were fully behind that bit of the McConaissance, because, baby, we can dig our man.

Now The Guardian reports the casting is official. M-O-O-N, that spells F*CK YES TO THIS NEWS. And The Guardian does specify McConaughey is set to play Randall Flagg, whom they describe as “a grinning cowboy with supernatural powers who establishes a power base in the ruins of Las Vegas.”

They forgot to mention what type of people are in his power base. That’s right. Laaaaaaawbreakers.

If you expected us to get through this casting news without a Magic Mike GIF, it’s like we don’t even know each other anymore.

Speaking of weird-ass Adult Swim programming: season three of The Eric Andre Show premiered last night, and it’s just as insane, bonkers, and other synonyms for “crazy” as ever. It makes fun of talk shows the way Too Many Cooks does 1980s and 1990s sitcoms, except with more nudity and screaming. Plus, Hannibal Buress. Last night’s celebrity guest was Seth Rogen, who, when not ripping off Letterman’s bits, had his (“his”?) cell phone number revealed to the world.

I called the number, and although it went to voicemail, it’s definitely Rogen’s voice you hear. Let me know if any of you get through. Please don’t ask him for weed.

UPDATE: Rogen responds.

Everything is really going swimmingly in Florham Park, huh?

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On Last Week Tonight Sunday, John Oliver noted that Lowe's has introduced robot employees to help customers find whatever they're looking for—which is precisely not the point of home improvement store employees. They're there to keep your marriage from collapsing before your eyes in the bathroom fixtures section.

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During tonight’s Florida State-Louisville, cameras panned to this sign in the crowd. It confused the hell out of everybody.

It’s supposed to read “I don’t eat poop but Jameis does” in reference to Florida State QB Jameis Winston. But the alignment of the words suggests this person’s in way over their head. It suggests this person should attend class more often.

Matthew Cerrone: This is awesome! Nice work, Darren Meenan, who traveled to Kansas City for last night’s Game 7, rooted for the Royals, but raised this sign to FOX cameras while wearing his Mets gear:

In Avengers: Age of Ultron (trailer here), Hawkeye owns a farm, and on this farm we have an Iron Man and a Captain America arguing about strategy, e-i-e-i-OH SH*T STEVE IS PISSED. This leaked clip from Marvel’s Special Event shows Tony Stark and Steve Rogers having a tense discussion at Hawkeye’s farm, a place they go to presumably get away from Ultron, who may be in control of the internet at this point.

This scene establishes that the glimpses in the trailer of seemingly major plot points — Steve back in the ’40s with Peggy, then his shield being broken while all the Avengers are lying, possibly dead, on an asteroid (a hint about Avengers: Infinity War?) — were visions put in their heads by the Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen). The awful visions have torn the Avengers apart, and Tony is suspicious towards Steve for having a pleasant hallucination about finally getting that dance with Peggy.

The tension in this clip hints at the personality clashes between Steve and Tony that will eventually culminate in Captain America: Civil War. Check it out, while it lasts:

Here’s a transcript, in case we lose the video.

Tony: [chopping wood] Thor didn’t say where he was going for answers?

Steve: [also chopping wood] Sometimes my teammates don’t tell me things. I was kind of hoping Thor would be the exception.

Tony: Yeah, give him time. We don’t know what the Maximoff kid showed him.

Steve: I don’t know what she showed you. I just know it made you do something stupid. Earth’s Mightiest Heroes… pulled us apart like cotton candy.

Tony: Seems like you walked away all right.

Steve: Is that a problem?

Tony: I don’t trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old-fashioned.

Steve: Well, let’s just say you haven’t seen it yet.

Tony: Banner and I were doing the research–

Steve: That would affect the team.

Tony: That would end the team! Isn’t that the mission? Isn’t that the “why” we fight, so we can end the fight, so we get to go home?

Steve: [rips log apart with his bare hands] Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.

Ripping logs in half is the new ripping phonebooks in half. Step up your game, douchebags doing amateur stunts.

The RKO From Outta Nowhere Vines meme has to be reaching the end of its life cycle. It started off fun, got co-opted by WWE and found a way to drop Randy Orton entirely. Now there are RKO Vines for Shawn Michaels, Triple H and everyone else. You’ve got people yelling FROM OUTTA NOWHERE over a Rey Mysterio 619, which he always performed from the same somewhere. Oh, and people started doing the meme in real life.

Whether or not the Vines are a thing we’re laughing at this time next year, I believe the genre has peaked with Randy Orton RKO’ing King Kong off the Empire State Building.

At least, I hope this is the peak. I’m not sure what could top it, and I don’t trust the Internet to come up with better ideas.

*shudder*

“If you truly get in touch with a piece of carrot, you get in touch with the soil, the rain, the sunshine. You get in touch with Mother Earth and eating in such a way, you feel in touch with true life, your roots, and that is meditation. If we chew every morsel of our food in that way we become grateful and when you are grateful, you are happy.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

This apparently made some rounds on the web last year, but who gives a sh*t…it’s gold. Enjoy.

(via Trey Kerby)

By Robert Niles: Disneyland cast members have leaked a new schedule that will see Luigi's Flying Tires in Cars Land close next Jan. 12 for an 11-month refurbishment. It's highly unusual for a functioning attraction in a popular land to go down for such a long period so relatively soon after its opening. (Luigi's opened with Cars Land just two summers ago.) Given the unpopularity of the ride with fans and designers, it's easy to jump to the conclusion that this January closure might be the end of Luigi's — at least in its current form.

Let's keep in mind that many fans were ready to bury the Finding Nemo submarine ride at Disneyland when Disney closed it for a months-long planned refurbishment last January. But the subs did return as promised last month, so a plan to close an attraction temporarily does not necessarily mean that the ride will close permanently.

If Disney proceeds with the plan to close Luigi's for most of 2015 it could do one of three things:

1. Simply mothball the ride to see the effect on wait times elsewhere in Cars Land and the park, then use than information to make a decision about replacing Luigi's.
2. Test various tweaks to the ride system to improve the experience, such as changing the number of tires, the air pressure levels, the cycle time, etc.
3. Tear out the ride system while leaving the queue and "Luigi's" name, allowing the park to introduce a different ride experience as a "refurbishment" of the existing attraction.

Depending upon the option the company choses, we could see the current or a slightly modified Luigi's reopen in late 2015. Or we could see a substantially different ride open in its place at the same time, or some later date. Whatever Disney chooses, it's unlikely that the company would tear down the Luigi's queue building, as that's a vital location within the Radiator Springs setting for Cars Land.

Here's another possible outcome: The flying tires yard out back remain closed while the Luigi's building becomes a walk-through attraction, or yet another merchandise location. If Disney can't find a cost-effective way to offer a popular ride in the yard out back, don't discount one of those possibilities.

What would you like to see Disney do with Luigi's?

Previously:

• How to fly Luigi's Flying Tires
• Ride review - Radiator Springs Racers and Cars Land at Disney California Adventure
• Luigi's Flying Tires Getting Rid of Beach Balls

This article originally appeared at http://www.themeparkinsider.com/flume/201410/4266/. All rights reserved. If you are not reading this on a personal RSS reader (such as Feedburner) or on http://www.themeparkinsider.com, you are reading a scraper website that has illegally copied and stolen http://www.themeparkinsider.com's content. Please visit http://www.themeparkinsider.com/flume/201410/4266/ for the original version, along with all its comments.

When your favorite team makes the World Series, it can be difficult to tell the true fans from the bandwagon ones. If you were to go, say, to a packed San Francisco bar like The Brick Yard to watch a game, you might be mistaken for a bandwagoner. Solution: screen print up some clever t-shirts for you and your boyfriend. Sexual innuendo is funny!

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It’s been a banner week for dog reenactments. First, on Sunday, John Oliver introduced his all-dog version of the Supreme Court set to audio of a recent oral argument. Now, today, less than 48 hours later, a YouTube user named Michael Immerman has rolled out an all-dog version of the hit late-1990s teen drama Dawson’s Creek, titled, appropriately enough, Dachshund’s Creek. The video takes a handful of notable scenes from the show’s pilot and lays the audio over a video of dogs recreating the scenes. Hmm, this sounds fascinating. Let’s have a little look-see and investigate, shall we?

Oh God. Yes. That wig. YES. And that look. Big shoutout to Winnie the Dog for her performance as Katie Holmes as Joey, because she conveyed almost as much emotion and feeling in one brief, sultry glance toward the camera as Katie did in 128 episodes of programming. Remarkable. I look forward to her pairing off with a Jack Russell Terrier version of Tom Cruise in a handful of years.

Anyway, with any luck this is just the first in a long line of teen drama dog reenactments, and before long we’ll be watching a canine Seth Cohen attempt to choose between a light-haired comic-book-loving corgi from Pittsburgh and the snobby but adorable dark-haired corgi of his dreams. Team Snobby But Adorable Corgi.

Source: The AV Club

Have you ever wanted to recreate that scene in Jurassic Park where Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) laughs very strangely for an uncomfortably long time? OF COURSE YOU HAVE. That’s why Evan Kent has created handy sheet music for all your home Goldbluming needs.

Just be sure to play your melodica con brio (vigorously), as if we’d ever play a melodica any other way. As this sheet music points out, you may need a second person to assist you in this endeavor, because recreating Jeff Goldblum’s laugh is often far too much for just one non-Goldblum mortal to handle.

This isn’t the first time someone has noticed the musical qualities of Jeff Goldblum’s fantastically weird laugh. The dubstep remix, “Hahahrawrrahaha” by FLIPSHOT, is also worth blasting every morning to get you pumped for the coming day. (What, just me?) We already posted the Soundcloud version of it, but The Mary Sue tipped us to this convenient Youtube upload:

Hahahrawrrahaha.

Via From The Nag Hammadi Scriptures and The Mary Sue

After Ellen Degeneres’ prank-scared Modern Family‘s Eric Stonestreet on three different occasions, Stonestreet wisened up on his latest appearance. He decided to bring his two best friends, who took the day off of work, to come and be his bodyguards on Ellen and warn him before a clown or a man in a dog suit could sneak up behind him.

It didn’t work. A clown still managed to scare the crap out of the poor guy, with hilarious results. Afterwards, a bewildered Stonestreet — in near tears — vows, “I’m never coming back. You’ve just lost one of your favorite guests.”

Filed under: TV, Web Culture Tagged: ellen degeneres, ERIC STONESTREET, MODERN FAMILY

In a now-deleted Forbes column that was published yesterday afternoon, contributor Bill Frezza brought victim-blaming all the way back around to suggest that "drunk female guests" who get raped at fraternity parties are actually the "threat." Yep, "Drunk Female Guests Are the Gravest Threat to Fraternities" is the headline that made it on to the site.

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Draven Rodriguez, a student at Schenectady High School in upstate New York, has a dream for his senior yearbook: that it will include this professional photo of him and his cat, Mr. Bigglesworth, and lasers. "I'm not trying to make any statement," Rodriguez told The Daily Gazette, "other than my photo is ridiculous and this is how I am."

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It’s what we’ve wanted for years, and the lack of a stand-alone HBO Go service is a large part of the reason why Game of Thrones is the most pirated show of all time. We all want HBO, but not all of us want to pay (or can afford to pay) for a $100 to $150 cable subscription to get HBO. Because with most cable packages, not only do you have to pay for cable, but you have to pay for a premium subscription with 100 channels before you can even get HBO.

That’s about to change.

Speaking with investors, Time Warner’s Jeff Bewkes said that up until recently, “it didn’t look like a good idea to shift HBO’s focus,” but that the “broadband opportunity is getting bigger,” making HBO Go direct to consumers is “more viable and more interesting.”

In fact, Time Warner is about to release promising data about from an experiment they have been running in which they bundled HBO Go with Internet service and the broadcast network channels only for $50 a month (or, basically the cost of Internet service plus HBO now). “There’s no technological or contractual obstacle to changing the delivery scheme. “We have the rights. We can do it if we want to now,” he said.

It sounds like they’re still working out the details, but expect that package to be an option soon. Of course, the downside is this: To get that package, you’re probably going to have to sign up for Time Warner Internet service, so there’s a catch. THERE’S ALWAYS A CATCH. We may soon find that ISP and cable networks will have exclusive deals with one another, meaning if we sign up for Comcast, we get a better deal on Showtime or something.

Speaking of which, Les Moonves — the big dog over on CBS, which is owned by the same company that owns Showtime — basically said that a direct-to-consumer option for Showtime is probably no later than three to five years away.

Source: Deadline

Filed under: GammaSquad, Technology, TV Tagged: game of thrones, HBO, hbo go, isps, SHOWTIME

Brandon Marshall does all of the talking here, but Jay Cutler is the one you want to keep an eye on. Watch as he disinterestedly fires off a text message, pets Brandon Marshall, and makes about three or four vintage Cutler faces. The man was in top form both on and off the field last night.

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Cecily Strong is out as Colin Jost’s co-host on Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update and Michael Che is reportedly in. According to the New York Times, the show’s shakeups haven’t ended as the 40th season approaches, as Lorne Michaels personally selected Che to replace Strong because of the 31-year old comedian’s strong relationship with Jost behind-the-scenes. The decision comes as the result of several weeks of testing different combinations of the show’s comedians and personalities, and Michaels ultimately decided that Jost and Che were best for Weekend Update moving forward.

“Michael is a strong writer, and he’s really funny,” Mr. Michaels said. “It’s always difficult to make changes and make ‘Update’ different from what’s gone before.”

“This is about a new era, what feels appropriate for now,” Mr. Michaels said. “That’s why we did a lot of combinations and tests, and this is kind of where we came out.” (via the New York Times)

A lot of people might argue that Strong carried the host pairing once Jost replaced Seth Meyers, especially since Jost’s creepy curling lip smirk was so distracting and annoying, but this isn’t the worst news in the world. While the show explores a new chemistry with two men behind the Weekend Update desk for the first time in the show’s inconsistent history, Michaels believes that Strong will be better served playing a greater role in more sketches. If anything, that at least means that we’ll get to enjoy the return of The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation with at a Party.

Meanwhile, if Che’s name isn’t ringing a bell, he has been appearing as a correspondent on The Daily Show since June, while writing for SNL since 2013.

Filed under: TV Tagged: CECILY STRONG, colin jost, LORNE MICHAELS, michael che, saturday night live, SNL, WEEKEND UPDATE

"Some people you just had to embrace, in some way or another, had to bite into the muscle, to remain sane in their company. You needed to grab their hand and clutch it like a downer so they would pull you into their midst. Otherwise they, walking casually down the street towards you, almost about to wave, would leap over a wall and be gone for months.”
― Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient

 

The New York-based Auralnauts (see previously) have created a funny video where the final “Throne Room” scene from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope is stripped of all of its epic music by John Willams. The Auralnauts then dubbed over their quiet scene with a few silly voices, laughs, and noises.

The original unedited scene for comparison:

via reddit, Tastefully Offensive

If you're out on the road, feeling lonely and so cold, we've got good news for you: All seven seasons of Gilmore Girls will be available on Netflix starting October 1. Start bingeing then, and you'll make it to the Yale years by Halloween.

Read more posts by Nate Jones

Filed Under: gilmore girls ,televison ,netflix

A two-year-old accidentally discharged his police officer father's f.380-caliber Kel-Tec semi-automatic pistol while the two were standing in line at a Wendy's in Middleburg, Fla. Shattered bullet fragments caused minor injuries to the boy's foot, his grandfather who was also waiting with him, and two other customers standing in line.

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Artist Mike S. Miller has taken pop culture’s fascination with Guardians of the Galaxy’s Rocket and Groot to it’s next logical place by merging the pair with the eternally beloved Calvin and Hobbes. It’s almost too good a fit. I want a Sunday comic strip and Saturday morning cartoon in the works, like yesterday.

Find out more how you can order prints of the below variations on his Facebook page.

Mike S. Miller Art Facebook via Geek Tyrant

Filed under: GammaSquad, Web Culture Tagged: ART, CALVIN AND HOBBES, GROOT, Guardians of the Galaxy, ROCKET RACCOON