The Fresno, California Sheriff’s Department raided a “beehive chop shop” and uncovered $1m worth of bees stolen in “great beehive heists” that have taken place across the bee-starved state.
The sheriffs arrested Pavel Tveretinov, a beekeeper who faces 10 years if convicted. A warrant has been issued for his alleged accomplice, Vitaliy Yeroshenko, who is still at large.
“I imagine you asking, “what’s worse than an f-bomb in the presence of a two year old?”
I’m glad you asked. Here are just a few “toddler friendly” examples:
“Boys don’t wear make up.”
“Don’t cry. You’re just being silly.”
“Wouldn’t you rather play with a truck than that doll?”
“You can’t wear pink.”
Here’s the deal. Saying “poop” when I drop something or “fudge” when I suddenly realize I’m late for a meeting I forgot about might offend some people because those kinds of words have been deemed inappropriate. But, no one is going to get hurt. On the other hand, telling my son that he should ignore his feelings or avoid otherwise harmless activities could hurt him. To his core.”
there are about thirty three thousand urban foxes in bristol. though the population remains stable, some argue for a cull, viewing them as dangerous. ecologists, however, counter that killing the foxes would be pointless as they are territorial (with a territory of about thirty hectares on average), and when you kill one another simply claims the territory.
notes photogrpaher sam hobson, “using a flash with nocturnal wildlife is a contentious issue, especially out in the wild …where many animals are not used to artificial light and a flash can cause temporary blindness. but urban foxes …are used to artificial light, so a low powered, indirect camera flash is no different to the sudden reflection of a car headlight. i introduced it very slowly, observing their reactions at every step.”
This particular McDonald’s is a liminal space, connected to multiple dimensions and timelines like spaghetti tangled around a meatball.
Dude and his wife have been finding and losing each other for centuries.
If you go inside next Thursday it’ll be 1993 and you can watch them meet.
It’s very romantic, but quite crowded, due to three hundred years’ worth of mildly curious time travelers showing up.
Also they run out of Big Mac sauce.
Do not go inside.
You will probably trip over the briefcase of a businessman from 2067 and get bitten by someone’s poorly-behaved pet robot archaeopteryx, and the intrepid explorer from 1672 in a steampunk dimension will whap you over the head with her umbrella right when he says his first words to her, and your Big Mac won’t have any special sauce.
Also there’s a small but nonzero risk that you’ll step out into the Upper Cretaceous and be eaten by a confused adolescent T-rex that really only wanted your soft-serve ice cream, but isn’t complaining about the rest of you.
Anyway, the guy in the other window has been living in the McDonald’s for six years straight, after his home dimension was over run by parasitic space wasps.
He’d leave, but every time he tries he comes out into either a Category 4 hurricane or the opening scene of the Star Wars Holiday Special.
He’s got his own secret stash of the Big Mac sauce.
The original story is hilarious. The addendum is pure comedy gold.
Honestly, nothing is more absurd about whiteness as the fact that white people will literally vote against their own self interest–as long as they believe people of color, especially black & nw latinos, will be even more harmed by these measures.
It’s why you’ll have poor whites who rely on public assistance for survival repeatedly support politicians looking to defund the very same programs that they themselves rely on, getting worked up in a frenzy about the imagined threat of ‘blacks and illegals’ scamming the system. Even when they themselves fudge the numbers a little in their paperwork to better ensure their own survival–committing the very same fraud they claim to be concerned about.
That level of hatred, so ingrained and unquestioned that addressing it and discussing it feels like a fools’ errand, should be unimaginable. And yet, perhaps the most amazing part of it is that we’ve been known all of this. It’s not even surprising.
This is okay for white people to reblog, but I appreciate y'all asking to be sure!
It became controversial at about the same point that we we went from, "hey, this capitalism thing is pretty cool" to "all things serve the capitalism."
President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday to revive the National Space Council, signifying a renewed (yet vague) focus on space exploration. Colonel Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon, was there to witness the event. He tried to liven the room with a Buzz Lightyear quip, only to have Trump…
So the other day Super ButtButt disapproved of me grooming her, and went full on facehugger on me. It was the funniest shit. She was so mad, but all she did was give me warning bites and the tiniest scratch on my arm. She loves me so much, I'm just so glad we have each other.
My cousin is a professional hippo keeper and has advanced far enough in the field of professional hippo keeping that she’s head of..idk, hippos? all giant herbivores? at Disney and has been consulting with the Cincinnati zoo about Fiona.
And being her facebook friend has really introduced me to the subculture of hippo keepers, who apparently all know each other and also can recognize most zoo hippos on sight.
And man, if you thought cat ladies were bad about the “my precious panther children just bit the shit out of my arm and then vomited on my rug” shit then I need to tell you that it is NOTHING compared to how hippo people talk about hippos with each other. For example, my cousin will post a cute video of Fiona and her mother and all her hippo friends will comment things like, “Aww, look at Bibi. She’s beautiful. Remember that time she bit down while I was brushing her teeth and she broke every bone in my hand?” and all the other people are like, “Aw, precious Nile princess! I remember riding with you in the ambulance!”
Or she’ll post a picture of baby Fiona gnawing gently on her caregiver’s leg and someone will respond with a picture of a massive bruise she got when a teenage hippo did that and everyone will be like, “hahaha, these nightmare murder beasts sure are wonderful.”
@bathtubstudios, i love baseball because they’re always just talking to fill 3hrs of coverage. i would’ve happily watched another 5 minutes of them narrating this cat’s movements.
Life has been extremely difficult for 7-year-old Aaron Burkhart ever since he was diagnosed with a brain tumor five months ago. To make matters worse, Aaron’s family lacked health insurance and was soon unable to pay the medical bills for his expensive treatments. Things seemed bleak, but that’s when Aaron got the surprise of a lifetime. When Sen. Mitch McConnell heard that Aaron’s family could no longer afford the treatment for his brain tumor, he visited Aaron’s hospital room dressed as Batman and wheeled him out of the hospital.
Beautiful! It looks like Mitch McConnell found a way to make a sick boy’s last day of medical care a truly special one!
Aaron’s amazing day with the Caped Crusader began when Senator McConnell stepped into his hospital room in an authentic Batman costume and said in a deep, gravelly voice, “I am the Batman. I hear there’s a brave little hero in here who’s currently burdening the taxpayers of Gotham City with medicine he hasn’t earned! We need to get you out of this hospital as soon as possible!” The senator then asked Aaron to climb into a wheelchair, and with his black cape billowing behind him, he began pushing the lucky cancer patient down the hall and toward the hospital’s front entrance.
Dragon: “HALT TRAVELER! THIS BRIDGE IS UNDER MY CONTROL! PAY THE TOLL OR CROSS THIS RIVER ELSEWHERE!”
Knight: “Nay foul beast! These are the lands of men! I shall pay no such toll, and what’s more I shall slay you rid this land of your tyranny!”
Dragon: “TYRANNY!? FOOLISH MAN! THIS BRIDGE IS OVER A HUNDRED YEARS OLD AND IN DIRE NEED OF REPAIRS! THE STONES ARE ERODING AND THERE ARE TERMITES IN THE WOOD!”
Knight: “… what?”
Dragon: “I GIVE THIS BRIDGE ANOTHER FIVE YEARS BEFORE IT COLLAPSES! I’D RATHER AVOID THAT AND PREVENT SOME POOR HUMAN FROM GETTING HURT!
Knight: ”…“
Dragon: “THE TOLL IS TEN GOLD PIECES.”
Knight: “… Okay.”
Dragon: “ALSO, DOWN THE ROAD, A FRIEND OF MINE IS RAISING FUNDS TO FIX A FARMER’S ROOF! IF YOU COULD ASSIST THEM AS WELL WE’D BE VERY GRATEFUL!”
THIS FUCKING THING GOT OVER 250 NOTES IN LESS THAN A DAY WHAT THE HELL.
NOT condoning or excusing. Some people who feel that they don't have control over their lives can and will exert ever more pressure over the lives of people under their control.
unpopular opinion but people try to cover up the fact that many 18th century white women, while not having the same power as their husbands, were still awful racists. they’re constantly portrayed as being “’ benevolent masters ”’ who took pity on the people they were keeping enslaved and were the exact opposite to their emotionless husbands, and it just isn’t true. white women participated in vile treatment and the oppression of black men and women just as much as men did. and by calling them ‘pure babies who could do no wrong’, etc, it isn’t helping get rid of the stereotype either.
to quote directly from Olivia A Cole’s blog when she was discussing the issue:
“But white women whipped black bodies. They burned them. They posed next to the murdered bodies of black people who were lynched. They called people n*ggers. They scratched faces. They separated families. While wearing their pretty dresses, they ruined lives.”
The Founding mothers are perfect examples of this.
Martha Washington is this feisty broad who took care of herself while always being there for her powerful hubby, right? Well, yeah. She also had no desire to release her own slaves, gave young women as WEDDING GIFTS, & only released her husbands slaves early because she was afraid someone would assassinate her to get freed early, in accordance with George’s will.
& Dolley Madison was the charismatic first lady who lit up rooms with her decadent outfits & strong, extroverted personality, getting even her reclusive hubby to join in on the fun, right? Well, yes. She was also the one slaves FEARED at Montpelier, to the point where a hired chef caught some of the slaves stealing food & threatened to tell Mr. Madison. They laughed, until he threatened to tell DOLLEY.
Women could be as bad as their husbands.
Women could be WORSE than their husbands.
& frankly, if you don’t believe they had the agency to be horrible, horrible racists, you’re playing into their husband’s belief that they didn’t have agency at all.
I read Out of the House of Bondage when it was published, and hell yes, slave-owning women could be worse than their husbands. Their slaves were the ones they were socially allowed to take their frustration and rage out on…
everyone has that one person on facebook who got pregnant, had a kid and now believe they have wisdom beyond their years and does vegan yoga
the person in question i know named their child novali galileo starshine and apparently has a business of making jewelry out of resin cast breastmilk..
I’m confident everyone can relate to the original post but I don’t think anybody could have expected that twist
