ThePrettiestOne

hisnamewasbeanni:

micdotcom:

The United Nations has ruled abortion is a human right

In 2001, a 17-year-old Peruvian woman known as “K.L.” was denied a medically indicated abortion, although the fetus had a notably lethal anomaly and the abortion would have been legal. Now, over a decade later, K.L. will finally receive justice: She was awarded the financial compensation won in a complaint filed to the United Nations Human Rights Committee, marking the first time the committee has affirmed that abortion is a human right. The ruling has global implications, especially in developing countries. 

Fuck yes. FUCK yes.

CDC: Young women should avoid alcohol unless using birth control:

cypheroftyr:

feministdisney:

hypoallergeniccuddles:

feministdisney:

the CDC can go bite themselves, honestly. I am all for people being healthy about alcohol consumption. But what’s one big reason WHY an estimated 1/20 babies are born in the U.S. with FAS, and why half of all pregnancies are unplanned when it’s 2016 and there are numerous forms of reliable birth control invented?

WHY are they not releasing warnings that public schools in this country should actually teach pro-active sexual education from an early age?? Only half of states require something. Less than half require it to be medically accurate, if it is taught. When it is taught, it is often inaccurate or focuses on abstinence, which has been suuuper popular with youth throughout history (not. Not popular at all). More info: maps of sex ed taught in America by state

The same organization (CDC) is telling us that 47% of high schoolers have already had sex. We have the highest teen birthrate among industrialized countries. But the focus here is looking at the statistics and telling women they could get pregnant at any time, so don’t drink.

BYEE, CDC. These babies aren’t even born yet. They are hypothetical. So yes, issue an alarm. But then. 

Take care of the kids that
ALREADY
EXIST

Also, treating all women of child-bearing age like potential baby-carriers is super not ok.

Yep. They’ve done this before - they’ve recommended all women of childbearing age take supplemental folic acid since it’s an important part of prenatal care and so many women don’t know they’re pregnant until several months in.

Which just comes back to…… why not concentrate your efforts on reducing the likelihood of unplanned pregnancies, rather than concentrating on what’s going on in our uteri??

I’m a tad livid 

I’m more than a tad livid bout this. Telling women not to drink IN CASE they have a kid. >:| GTFO here.

NASA: so watney, how did you feel when you first realized you were alone on mars
mark watney: well... at first, i was afraid
NASA:
mark watney:
NASA:
mark watney: i was petrified

teapotsahoy:

vassraptor:

ironychan:

This is the Great Pyramid of King Khufu.  Everybody knows the Great Pyramid of King Khufu, but you probably don’t know about the Shit Pyramids of his father, King Sneferu.  This is a shame, because they are amazing.

When King Sneferu came to the throne of Egypt, the cool thing that all the pharaohs had was a Step Pyramid, like the original one built by King Djoser and designed by Imhotep (not the mummy).  King Sneferu could easily have had one one because his predecessor King Huni had died before his could be finished. All Sneferu had to do was step in and put the last few blocks on.

But King Sneferu had a vision.  He didn’t want any old Step Pyramid.  He was going to build Egypt’s first smooth-sided pyramid, and make King Huni’s pyramid way taller in the bargain.  It didn’t work.  The core of Huni’s pyramid couldn’t handle the modifications and nowadays the Step Pyramid at Meidum looks like this:

It’s not on a hill - that’s the outer layers of the pyramid that have fallen down all around it.  The name of the structure in Arabic is Heram el-Kaddaab, which means something like The Sort-Of Pyramid.

Anyway, King Sneferu was understandably disappointed and made his pyramid-builders start over from scratch at a different site.  Apparently having learned nothing about the Big Fat Nowhere that hubristic pyramid ambition was going to get him, this pyramid was designed to be even taller and pointier than the last effort!  Too tall and pointy, in fact - the bedrock proved to be less stable than he might have hoped, and by the time the pyramid was half-finished stuff was already moving and cracking inside of it.  There are ceilings in this pyramid that are to this day partially held up by wooden beams.

The builders seem to have panicked and decided that the only way to finish the pyramid without another disaster was to make the top half lighter than the bottom half.  They did this by changing the angle of the slope, ending up with a pyramid that looks like this:

Egyptologists call this one the Bent Pyramid for fairly obvious reasons.  Uniquely among Egyptian Pyramids, it has most of its smooth outer blocks intact, rather than having them all stolen to build other stuff (most of medieval Cairo is built from the skin of the Giza pyramids).  I’m guessing this is because nobody dared touch the thing for fear the whole structure would come down like a giant limestone game of Jenga.

I’m sure the pyramid-builders were very proud of this solution.  Sneferu appears to have been less so.  He had them move over about half a mile and start over.  Again.  Why only half a mile when he had them move 34 miles between the Sort-of Pyramid and the Bent Pyramid is a mystery.  I think he wanted to keep them in sight of the Bent Pyramid so they could look at it and feel ashamed every once in a while.

And there they built Sneferu’s third pyramid, which is called the Red Pyramid.  As pyramids go, it’s a very cautious one - it’s got the shallowest slope rise of any Egyptian pyramid, and while it’s the same height as the Bent Pyramid it spreads its weight over a much greater base area, making it far more stable.  Sneferu seems to have been happy with this one, because he was buried in it.  Either that, or after a forty-eight-year reign he just finally died and that was the pyramid they used because it was the nicest of the three.

These three pyramids together actually contain substantially more stone than the Great Pyramid of Sneferu’s son Khufu.  By the time Sneferu died, his workforce had honed themselves into a lean, mean pyramid-building machine.  They had already made every possible pyramid mistake.  So when Khufu announced that he didn’t just want a great pyramid, but The Great Pyramid, these guys built him a pyramid so fucking great that we now think aliens must have done it.

It was as true in Ancient Egypt as it is now.

Also, the host of the Egyptian History Podcast, who has a fairly strong Kiwi accent, pronounces Sneferu “Sniffaroo”, which sounds like a Pokemon name to me. I find this endearing.

These are the pyramids historians point to and sigh at when someone brings up “Aliens must have done it! Only aliens could have constructed such feats of engineering!”

Sure. Or the process of elimination.

mothraesthetic:

here’s a fun new way of responding to anon hate, just post this pic

micdotcom:

Watch: Helen Mirren is starring in a Super Bowl ad from a pretty unlikely source.

sourcedumal:

dominawritesthings:

People who perform manual labor should be not only given high and liveable wages, but unlimited access to healthcare and physical therapy to help manage the myriad conditions that come from doing back-breaking work.

Like this is not an absurd concept. It bothers me that people think that it is.

Because something something “muh tax dollars” something something bootstraps

kingsiha:

realfiend:

THE PUPILS

[catting intensifies]

dynastylnoire:

fancycake:

mama

mama??

MAMA!!!1

hi

literally life with cats

druidquest:

Modern Greek God story where the big three go on a road trip for brotherly bonding. Poseidon brings a mix tape that is made up entirely of whale noises. Hera tags along to make sure Zeus doesn’t try anything. Hades calls Persephone after two hours in tears because the other two won’t stop calling him “Boner Lord”. Zeus manages to impregnate three women and a man despite Hera never taking her eyes off him.

prokopetz:

I think my biggest “huh” moment with respect to gender roles is when it was pointed out to me that your typical “geek” is just as hypermasculine as your typical “jock” when you look at it from the right angle.

As male geeks, a great deal of our identity is built on the notion that male geeks are, in some sense, gender-nonconformant, insofar as we’re unwilling or unable to live up to certain physical ideals about what a man “should” be. Indeed, many of us take pride in how putatively unmanly we are.

Viewed from an historical perspective, however, the virtues of the ideal geek are essentially those of the ideal aristocrat: a cultured polymath with expertise in a vast array of subjects; rarefied or eccentric taste in food, clothing, music, etc.; identity politics that revolve around one’s hobbies or pastimes; open disdain for physical labour and those who perform it; a sense of natural entitlement to positions of authority (“you should be flipping my burgers!”); and so forth.

And the thing about that aristocratic ideal? It’s intensely masculine. It may seem more welcoming to women on the surface, but - as recent events will readily illustrate - this is a facade: we pretend to be egalitarian because it suits our refined self-image, but that affectation falls away in a heartbeat when challenged.

Basically, the whole “geeks versus jocks” thing that gets drilled into us by media and the educational system isn’t about degrees of masculinity at all. It’s just two different flavours of the same toxic bullshit: the ideal geek is the alpha-male-as-philosopher-king, as opposed to the ideal jock’s alpha-male-as-warrior-king. It’s still a big ego-measuring contest - we’re just using different rulers.

kessuburd:

neonrubbish:

ladypoetess:

Now, see, this pisses me off.

Not everyone learns the same way.

When I was in nursing school, I didn’t take notes in class. You know what I did? I played endless games of pocket tetris. The chair of the nursing program approached me about it once, going so far as to say that she thought for a time that I must have copies of her tests, since I aced everything she tested us on, even though I never appeared to be paying attention.

Visual learners, auditory learners, hands-on learners - everyone’s heard of those types, sure. But that’s not all there is. There’s a 4th learning style that is actually best suited to splitting the focus between disparate activities to learn most effectively. For me, that was playing repetative games or doodling, coloring print outs of Sailor Moon characters or fiddling with small ‘fidget’ toys. An English Lit professor had identified this as my learning style a couple years earlier and lo and behold, I started learning better when I started catering to my actual learning style.

I was lucky; the chair of the nursing program knew about the learning style I exhibited and didn’t bother me again about the fact I sat in the back and played mindless games in her classes. The goal of class is to learn, right? What the fuck does it matter if the person learning does so via note taking or doodling or looking at puppies? To this day I most effectively form associations and recall memories of things I’ve listened to by doing something very different with my hands and eyes.

Don’t assume people are slacking off just because they’re not learning the way you expect them to be.

Wow this makes so much sense

Ayyyy this is me too. Whenever I was in class I always, ALWAYS had to be doing something with my hands or I’d never be able to focus on or remember anything. When I was younger my mom recognized this and at the beginning of every school year she made sure to talk to all of my teachers and assure them that while yes, I sat in my seat and doodle the whole time, I WAS paying attention.

Many years ago, I worked in a call center.  While working there, I drew my first comic strip, “Thank You For Calling,” which was about funny anthro people who–wait for it–worked in a call center.

We got a new manager who was upset to see me drawing through my calls, even though I had some of the best stats in the company.  He told my supervisor to take my paper away.  I started drawing on my desk (not on purpose, just as a reflex).  He took my pencils away.

My stats plummeted.

This wasn’t me being stubborn or refusing to work: I was trying, I just couldn’t do it.  I had no focus or ability to retain what I heard from customers.  Finally, my supervisor gave me back my art supplies, and everything went back to normal.

Everyone’s brain is different.

kaijuno:

kaijuno:

Observation: I have never broken a bone
Hypothesis: I am boneless
Data: I appear to have broken at least two bones in my foot slipping on the ice
Conclusion: I have at least two bones. Strong evidence suggests the possibility of a third one. 

I’m an astrophysicist. 

jemandthediazepams:

Turn ons: Gina Torres not feeling obligated to divulge intimate details about her personal life just because her career makes her a celebrity and having a famous husband makes her a target.

Darnell Earley was the emergency manager who put toxic water in the homes of Flint, Michigan, and he’s the emergency manager who has presided over Detroit public schools with fungus growing in the halls, rotten and moldy food served to students, and serious rodent infestations. Now the big question is, where’s the next place Gov. Rick Snyder will override democracy to put Earley in charge? Because Earley is stepping down from being the Detroit schools’ emergency manager at the end of the month. 

Earley is declaring victory because “comprehensive restructuring necessary to downsizing the central office” blah blah blah, but the announcement of his departure comes after sustained teacher protest over terrible conditions in the schools and a lawsuit that, among other things, called for him to be removed from his position. According to a statement by Senate Minority Leader Jim Ananich:

“For the sake of the kids, Earley needed to go, but this move should in no way allow him to dodge his responsibility to fully comply with every investigation about his role in the Flint water crisis. The governor must demand that he testify before Congress tomorrow and be completely transparent in turning over every document related to what happened.

“The public also has a right to know all the details about his severance package, contract terms and any nondisclosure agreement. Make no mistake, this announcement today was not motivated by what is best for the children — it was about saving face for the politicians who are worried about what he might reveal under oath.”

In response to Earley’s announcement, the Detroit Federation of Teachers called for the schools to be returned to local control: “Appointing another emergency manager won’t fix Detroit’s education crisis. Now is the time for DPS to have an elected school board that answers to the people of this great city.”

When the office of Eastern Michigan U.S. Attorney Barbara McQuade announced last month that it was assisting an Environmental Protection Agency investigation of the lead crisis in Flint, it was unclear whether that investigation would have a criminal or civil focus. However, a new statement from the office reveals that the FBI and the EPA’s criminal investigation division are both involved in the effort. According to the Detroit Free Press:

The EPA's Criminal Investigation Division investigates potential criminal violations of federal environmental law.

The disclosure of the FBI's involvement in the investigation comes as the U.S. House Oversight Committee prepares to hold its first hearing on the issue Wednesday, amid reports that former Flint emergency manager Darnell Earley will decline to testify.

The existence of criminal investigations raises the possibility that some witnesses could exercise their Fifth Amendment rights against self-incrimination and decline to testify before legislative hearings.

The involvement of the FBI and the criminal investigation division suggest an effort to explore possible criminal wrongdoing. The revelation of federal criminal investigations in Flint definitely changes the calculus of both the House hearing and the state and local responses to the crisis. Michigan Gov. Snyder is already beleaguered by a wave of lawsuits regarding the matter, and to complicate issues the office of Michigan Attorney General Bill Schuette is defending Snyder and the state against these lawsuits while also coordinating and commissioning an ostensibly independent state investigation. The involvement of the EPA’s inspector general indicates that some level of the investigation will delve into the activities of regional EPA offices, as well.

seimsisk:

hypergoomba:

words-writ-in-starlight:

spacebabenumber-25:

kaijuno:

kirawords:

timetotimeskip:

symphonicsadness:

celestial-cat-prince:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

proudly-pro-choice:

medievaldendrophile:

40yodater:

cobra-23:

40yodater:

cobra-23:

lesfemale:

leftiesneedrights:

lesfemale:

being a female means needing to see 10 different doctors to get a proper diagnosis because they always think you’re exaggerating and/or lying

define proper diagnosis. I mean, does that just mean the diagnosis you want?

no :) it means going to 10 different doctors who disbelieved your symptoms until the 11th found cysts on your ovaries :) which may mean infertility :) sit on a cactus :)

I call bullshit

Of course you do. Like the first 10 doctors. 😒

I call bullshit on the story. If you think you have an issue you should see a specialist not just your PCP.

Like the 4 “specialists” I saw for the crippling numbness in my face and legs I had for over a year while they told me it was “stress”? When it was finally found that I had scars on my brain and spine? Those “specialists” we’re male neurologist who wouldn’t give me an MRI because “women stress too much”. Go fuck yourself.

MY SPINE WAS BROKEN FOR 2 YEARS BECAUSE MY DOCTORS TOLD ME I JUST HAD BAD CRAMPS AND REFUSED TO TAKE XRAYS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. WHEN WILL BOYS REALIZE THEIR EXPERIENCES ARENT STANDARD???? I ALSO LOVE THIS IDEA THAT YOU CAN JUST GO TO A SPECIALIST WHENEVER YOU WANT LOL IF OUR PCP DOESNT BELIEVE US WHEN WE TELL THEM OUR SYMPTOMS THEY ARENT GONNA REFER US TO A SPECIALIST YOU FUCKING MOLDY WALNUT

My parents began noticing something large in my throat, saw a specialist….Guess what? Told me to lose some weight..even though I wasn’t overweight. I would have my period for weeks at a time. Was told that it was teenage hormones and stress.

Two fucking years later I attempted suicide they ran a battery of tests as required and bam! They find out that I have untreated Hashimoto’s. The “thing” was a goiter. Possible symptoms of an untreated thyroid disease is the goiter, unexplained weight gain, and depression. All they had to do was test my blood, but they said young people don’t have thyroid problems. 😒

-Allie

Ten years ago, my mother—who is a pretty tough cookie—started feeling both ridiculously wired, anxious, and incredibly emotional. Every doctor she saw told her she was going through early menopause, even though she was still menstruating. Her health declined to point where she was barely sleeping, losing weight, and crying constantly, which was a huge red flag because my mother never cries. Finally, she went to see another doctor 2.5 hours away who referred her to an endocrinologist. And what did the endocrinologist say? He diagnosed her with one of the most advanced cases of Grave’s Disease he had even seen, and said if she had gone just a few more months without being treated, she could have FUCKING DIED. 

Also, it turned out that her thyroid levels had been moving out of the normal range in a progressive pattern for years, but nobody bothered to look at her past test results until after the diagnosis. They would just do a test, see that it was “in the normal range” and leave it at that. She could have caught it before she even had symptoms, instead of basically being accused of having hysteria. 

i had a brain aneurysm/hemorrhage ten years ago, doctors still tell me im faking my disability
BECAUSE YOU CAN TOTALLY FAKE LIMITED MOVEMENT OF THE LEFT SIDE

My sister had intercranial hypertension which was causing headaches, dizzy spells and loss of vision, and you know what the hospital told her? She was being a hysterical girl and making it up.
A few weeks later she spent roughly a month in hospital and had several lumbar punctures to relieve her RECORD HIGH spinal pressure that was causing so much strain on her brain and optic nerves she was being sent blind.

Everytime I see this post (and it’s been a good 5/6 times), it has different stories and experiences of women who have been horribly mistreated by doctors and it just blows my mind that this is so big. It’s absolutely disgusting how terribly women are treated in the medical world and something needs to be done about that.

my friend lea had back pain, then pain in her legs and feet, and then numbness. despite seeing 7 different doctors over 2 years, by the time they found the cancer it was inoperable. chemo and radiation didn’t work. the cancer spread. she died and left behind a 5 year old daughter.

A few years ago I would go through spells where I literally could not stand on my own and I couldn’t get out of bed. I would be freezing and too weak to eat. I would keep having heart palpitations as well. I got up the money to go to a clinic and they told me it was just stress and to basically just work on chilling out. I saved up money for a few weeks to do this and I pretty much get a “chill out” from them.

As time went on it got worse, most noticeably the heart palpitations were happening almost constantly. I went again to a different clinic and was told it was normal and that it was probably stress. They did no tests, and they told me it would “just go away”.

Two weeks later I ended up collapsing going down some stairs, and at the hospital it was discovered that I had such severe anemia that my heart could barely keep up with trying to get enough oxygen to my body. I had developed left ventricular hypertrophy (my heart muscle is too big) and because of them ignoring me and dismissing me I’m at a much higher risk of heart attacks and stroke now.

I went to the doctor with severe intermittent pain in my upper right stomach area that was so bad I had to miss school. Despite the fact that my period has been on a regular 3 month cycle for years, and I still had two months left until my period, my doctor told me it was period related cramps and or indigestion. 2 months later I’m in the hospital getting my gallbladder removed. It was so obstructed that there was gangrene developing my my system.

So…everyone who’s given me shit for that one post (about medicine and equal treatment and shit) can just read this because I’m sick of defending my case.

i know this post is already long but here’s a pretty good article about how gender bias in medicine is quite literally killing women. it focuses a lot on heart attacks but it applies to all areas of medicine

I have seen many female friends and relatives going through this “10 years going to different doctors before finding the real cause” routine.

My mother had disabling migraines and vomiting spells and nausea every day for a good 20 years before she finally found a diagnose and treatments that helped. Her tyroid had pretty much shut down when she finalky had it tested.

In fact several friends had/have recurring migraines and they all had doctors just not know what to do with them. I don’t think this is merely doctor incompetence, it’s also lack of research on diseases that aflict women more than men.

tfw you reblog a thing in solidarity and then someone reblogs it from you and brings up a medical condition you have and you realize the thing has happened to you…

WHOOPS THAT PART WHERE I GOT MIS-DIAGNOSED FOR OVER A DECADE AND MY MIGRAINES WERE ONE OF THE SYMPTOMS OF MY ACTUAL DISORDER AND EVERYONE SHRUGGED THEM OFF CAUSE EVERY OTHER WOMAN ON MY MOM’S SIDE ALSO HAS MIGRAINES. (…so that means we all just have to suck it up??!?!)

People who study other people (cause…that’s what medicine is. At this point, that’s what my opinion of medicine is) often lose sight of the idea that they’re studying other people *for the benefit of those people*. If your theory doesn’t sound useful to me, then guess what. It’s not useful. So if your idea of what’s going on with me involves telling me to “ignore” a whole bunch of stuff I know is happening? Um…

“I am not okay with the idea that someone thinks people like me should suffer, and they’re just making an exception for me because they know me. It’s fucked up, and it’s horrible, and I don’t trust them not to suddenly withhold the exception if I’m not tame enough for them.”

-

the-real-seebs (via gingerautie)

THIS this THIS this THIS. 

This is why I get so angry when I see those fucking pictures of an empty wheelchair or an empty electric cart that says ‘I just saw a miracle!’ or some shit, or people mocking those who only use mobility aids part-time because we don’t “REALLY” need them.

But I don’t mean you. That’s what they always say. I just mean the LAZY ones. Not you.

No. You mean me. Because the only reason you DON’T mean me is because you know me, and you know I’m “for real” and am not “faking it” or “lazy.” But other people who don’t know me, they think I am “one of the lazy ones”. I know, because some of them have told me so. In public. In front of other human beings. Because that’s a thing we do.

This applies always. I’ve seen this with government assistance, with religions, with gender issues… personally, I’ve seen this. I think everyone has. It’s the same as “my abortion is a moral abortion because exceptions.”

So let’s start calling hypocrisy what it is. Let’s never accept this.

(via vaspider)

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

We’ve all heard that a healthy relationship has healthy boundaries. But what exactly are boundaries, and what do they look like in real life?

Boundaries are the lines you draw around yourself to keep you safe and autonomous.

Good boundaries are really strong and flexible. When they change, it’s because you chose to move them; you still know where they are and you’re still comfortable with them. If someone else pushes on them, they don’t break.

Bad boundaries are fuzzy and brittle - it’s often hard to know exactly where your boundaries are, and if someone pushes on them, they may shatter completely.

Here are some boundaries that are common to all healthy relationships:

• Each person has a say in what kind of relationship this is. No one feels obligated to be more emotionally connected, sexually involved, or socially connected than they actually want to be.
  
• Each person gets to choose what they eat, what they wear, and who they want be friends with.
  
• Each person has private spaces, physical or otherwise (online counts), where the other person doesn’t intrude without permission.
  
• There are some hobbies that only one person does, and that’s okay - you don’t need to do everything together.
  
• It’s okay to disagree on some things; each person has different tastes and opinions and it’s okay to be different to each other.
  
• Some things are private, even from each other, and that’s okay.
  
• Each person has the right to not engage in any sexual activity at any time.

In order to keep social systems running smoothly, some common boundaries are assumed to exist in certain contexts, and crossing them without obtaining consent is considered rude or worse.

Some of these “default boundaries” include:

• Not kissing strangers or touching them in a sexual way, or making sexual comments to/about them.
  
• Not asking personal questions until you know someone well - things like weight, sexual history, etc., unless you’re in a context where it’s relevant.
  
• Not showing your genitals to people you are not in a sexual relationship with, except a medical professional when relevant.
  
• Not demanding hugs from strangers, unless you both are part of a group where hugs are considered a normal greeting of a stranger.
• Friendships are assumed to include no sex and no romance.
• Not touching children you don’t know, if you are not their caretaker.
• Not getting into bed with a sleeping person you don’t usually sleep with.
• Not entering the bathroom when some else is using it.
  

But boundaries are more than these default templates - they’re personal things. So your specific boundaries might be different to someone else’s.

Some examples of more specific boundaries might be things like:

• I don’t know you very well, so I want to wait until we know each other better before I decide if I want to date you.
• It’s okay if my dating partner comes into the bathroom when I’m brushing my teeth, but not when I’m showering or using the toilet. I leave the door open when it’s okay to come in.
  
• If I’m working at my computer or otherwise engrossed in something, I ask that people use words to get my attention before touching me.
  
• I don’t like kissing, so I don’t kiss anyone ever and they aren’t allowed to kiss me.
• I don’t want anyone in my new life to try to contact my estranged family of origin.
  
• My phone is private; no one is allowed to read my texts, etc., but me.
• For date night, I don’t want to go to a restaurant that doesn’t serve food I can eat as a vegetarian.

Establishing boundaries means figuring out what your boundaries are and then making them clear to the people in your life, as relevant.

You don’t need to tell everyone you know all of your boundaries, because some people will never come close to crossing certain boundaries. But it’s important that people know what your boundaries are when they’re in the relevant territory.

So when it looks like sexytimes might happen, it’s important to talk to your partner ahead of time about what sexual boundaries you each have. When you’re headed toward a serious relationship, that’s the time to talk about the boundaries you have in that kind of relationship. When you get your own place, it’s time to establish boundaries with your parents about what it will mean for your relationship.

A boundary violation is when someone crosses one of your boundaries. Some examples might be:

• Someone sending you nudes or sexually explicit messages when you’re not interested.
  
• Someone going through something of yours that you chose to keep private.
• Someone trying to tell you what you’re allowed to wear, eat, or who to be friends with.

Some boundary violations are accidental, and when that happens, the appropriate response is to reinforce the boundary by making sure the other person knows it’s there. The people in your life should be aware of what your boundaries are.

When someone violates your boundaries, you also need to defend the boundary. That means you have to figure out how to protect yourself from having that boundary crossed again. Sometimes that means a simple conversation to let them know that boundary exists, sometimes it means taking time away from someone, changing the way you interact with them, or removing them from your life entirely. Only you can decide how best to defend that boundary in the context of your life.

Unhealthy boundaries happen when someone is made to feel like they aren’t allowed to have boundaries, and that’s where enmeshment and abuse creep in.

Some examples of bad boundaries include things like:

• We always end up talking whenever I want to, even if you’re busy or asleep or don’t want to.
  
• I make it difficult for you if you try to spend time with friends without me there.
  
• I look through your phone, purse, Internet history, or other belongings when I feel like it, without your permission.
• You are not allowed to have any secrets, even ones that don’t relate to me.
  
• I touch you however and whenever I want unless you convince me not to.
• I think you should go on a diet, so even though you don’t agree, you change the way you eat to keep me from judging you.
• You give up wearing certain clothes you like because I’m disrespectful to you when you wear them.
  

When you haven’t been allowed to have boundaries for a long time because of a dysfunctional relationship, it can be hard to know what your boundaries are.

Abusive people who want to take advantage of unformed boundaries will push on the “social default” boundaries to see if you know how to defend a boundary. If you don’t, they push on bigger and bigger boundaries and try to form a relationship where they’re in control. Be aware of that - if it feels like you have less and less control of what’s happening, that relationship is not healthy.

Respecting boundaries is one of the most important parts of keeping a relationship safe, healthy, and consensual.

If you think someone you know has a hard time setting boundaries, give them extra room to set them and be extra careful not to exert any pressure. Don’t expect people in general to always tell you their boundaries - ask outright. “How do you feel about doing this thing?” is how you get real consent. Saying “We’re going to do this thing” and then doing it just because they don’t object may be crossing a boundary.

It’s important to pay attention to whether other people are setting boundaries (or may want to set them but are afraid to), and to talk about and defend your own boundaries as well, so everyone in the relationship feels safe and happy.

actuallyalivingsaint:

“What the heck is this?” David asked, gesturing to something on Mindy’s desk. Between the file organizer and the potted ivy, an Altoid tin was open and, inside, a tiny mattress, pillow, and quilted comforter were in view. “It’s for the coffee fairies,” Mindy answered matter-of-factly. “In the mornings, they work particularly hard. Providing them a place to rest in the evening guarantees you’ll get every gift they can bestow: alertness, focus, inspiration, energy. It’s worked out great.” David just stood there, looking confused. “I read it in a book,” Mindy said to his silence. “Yep,” David said, returning to his own desk, shaking his head. Throughout the day, he dragged, barely able to keep his eyes open (even though he was a full 6 cups into trying to care). After lunch, half wondering if he was coming down with something, David checked to see that no one was looking and proceeded to make a fairy sleeping bag out of an envelope with some gauze and a cotton ball taken from the staff emergency kit. Mindy grinned when she dropped a report off on his desk after hours and saw it there, next to the stapler. The next morning, David was laughing, revved up, and frantically scribbling a redesigned process architecture on his white board. “How are you today?” Mindy asked, pausing in the doorway and smiling. “Holy craaaaaaap,” David answered. “I can smell space and time.” “Yep,” she said, moving off down the hall.

kawinslow:

jonhsboyegas:

What’s one big difference between this movie and the others? 

This is how you know that the friendship is real.

As Iowans trekked to caucuses across their state on Monday evening, both major political parties were on the verge of hostile takeovers. By night's end, the Democratic establishment and Hillary Clinton had apparently held the threat at bay—barely!—with the former secretary of state seemingly defeating Sen. Bernie Sanders, a self-professed democratic socialist channeling populist ire, by a small number of votes in what was almost a tie. On the Republican side, Sen. Ted Cruz, a nemesis of the GOP establishment, prevailed in Iowa the traditional way by rounding up evangelical and social conservative voters, and Donald Trump, the reality television tycoon, placed a close second (28 to 24 percent) with his they're-all-losers schtick—meaning that half of Republican voters rebelled against their party's poohbahs.

Anyone reading this knows the usual yada-yada-yada of Campaign 2016: This is the year of the outsiders. Donald Trump entered the Republican race, called everyone an idiot, and turned the GOP into the latest extension of Trump Empire™. Cruz, a onetime corporate lawyer (who happens to be married to a Goldman Sachs executive), campaigned as a pious bomb-thrower eager to take on the do-nothing status-quoticians of Washington (Republican and Democratic). And Sanders, the 74-year-old Vermont senator who a year ago was not even a Democrat, crashed Clinton's coronation with his call for a "political revolution" that would break up the big banks, slam the billionaires class, and deliver single-payer health care and free college to all Americans. But this convenient, sound-bite-friendly description of what's going on is too easy an explanation, because the supposed outsider energy in each party is different, particularly when it comes to Trump.

Let's start with the Dems. Sure, Sanders called for smashing up the big-money establishment and implied (strongly!) that Clinton, a Washington insider who has pocketed campaign cash and speaking fees from Wall Street, was part of the corrupt system. Not to take anything away from Sanders' populist message and his campaign's delivery, but he was able to take advantage of—that is, speak to—a pre-existing and ever restless ideological bloc within the Democratic primary electorate: progressives.

According to a Gallup poll taken last year, 44 percent of Democrats call themselves liberals. This number has been on a steady rise since 2000, when only 29 percent claimed that label. So as several Democratic strategists have pointed out to me in recent weeks—including those backing and not backing Clinton—Sanders began with a big potential base to tap. Call it the Elizabeth Warren Collection: populist-minded Democrats yearning for a crusader. Any Democratic candidate challenging Clinton with a heartfelt, authentic and enthusiastic progressive appeal had a chance to attract these Democratic voters. (This wing has always been there. In the 1980 Democratic primary, Teddy Kennedy won 37 percent of the vote to the 52 percent bagged by incumbent President Jimmy Carter.) It may be a bit of a mystery why former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley flopped so miserably in his effort to court these looking-for-a-hero Democrats. But the fiery Sanders, whose leftism was never in doubt, went for them, and when Clinton, whose progressivism has often been debated, seemed to stumble (those "damn emails") and failed to inspire younger and more liberal Democrats, Sanders had an opening to present himself as this year's true progressive model and a cool alternative to the ideologically suspect and baggage-heavy Clinton. Voila! He made a connection with a major Democratic subset that has always been there.

Forget about Iowa for a moment—especially now that this unrepresentative event is done—and look at the average of the national polls in the Democratic race. Clinton leads Sanders, 52 to 37 percent. Sanders' take is darn close to that 40 percent mark long associated with the progressive wing. Sanders surpassed that level in Iowa, and he's likely to do so in New Hampshire, where three recent polls have put his lead over Clinton between 20 percent and 31 percent. Yet in the long run, can he continue to stay above 40 percent—particularly when the contest shifts to states with more diverse electorates (meaning more black and Latino voters) and states where voters are less familiar with this self-proclaimed socialist? Those contests will show whether Sanders has reshaped the party or whether he has only deftly addressed a desire Clinton could not fulfill.

Cruz did something similar to Sanders: He appealed to an ideological bloc that pines for a champion. With the collapse of Ben Carson, who at one point led the GOP pack in Iowa, Cruz, who fielded an effective on-the-ground organization, was able to consolidate much of the social conservative vote. (Carson placed a distant fourth behind Sen. Marco Rubio, who came in a close third with 23 percent.) Still, Trump's ability to grab one out of four voters in Iowa—and his commanding lead in New Hampshire polls—indicates his bid to seize control of the Republican Party has not been neutralized.

Trump has not been waging an ideological war. He is no Barry Goldwater or Ronald Reagan. Just as there is a progressive base in the Democratic Party, there is a conservative foundation in the GOP, and those right-wing heroes of yesteryear won the Republican presidential contests (respectively in 1964 and 1980) by rallying the conservative grassroots within the GOP. At the time, each contended that the path to victory for the GOP was to beat back the more moderate elements of their party (Take that, Nelson Rockefeller! Ka-pow, George H.W. Bush!) and run to the right in November. (Only one of the two had their argument proven correct in the general election.) Theirs was an ideological mission. Cruz adopted this model, and he fared well in a state that has in recent years rewarded Republicans who appeal to the religious right. He's an outsider in Washington, but not within this historical framework.

Trump's play was not to become the leader of the party's conservative wing. He's been waging a cultural revolution, not an ideological rebellion, within the GOP. His main argument, such as it is, is not that the government is too big, but that everyone in government—and just about everyone who doesn't agree with him—is stupid. And he's a winner. (Well, at least until Monday night.) With his campaign, the political is the personal. His policy prescriptions, if they deserve to be called that, do not hew to a clear ideological line. He bashes hedge fund guys, calls for The Wall, wants less taxes, opposes trade deals backed by Big Business, decries the corruption of Washington (big-money donations and special-interest lobbyists), and derides the US invasion of Iraq, but he vows to obliterate ISIS with a massive, you-won't-believe-how-big military buildup. It's a mishmosh.

Trump is a protest candidate protesting...just about everything, as he peddles bigotry by pushing a ban on Muslims entering the United States. He's not playing to the ideological voters of the GOP, but to the angry ones. His target audience: people who resent pushing 1 for English and 2 for Spanish. And I'm guessing many of these people have spent the last eight years detesting President Barack Obama, suspecting he's some kind of secret Muslim, Kenya-born socialist who has a clandestine plan for destroying the United States of America. This hatred of Obama has been encouraged and exploited by leading Republicans who gained power in Washington with the tea party. These establishment GOPers giggled with delight as their mad-as-hell voters rushed to the polls, after being told that Obama was setting up death panels, that Obamacare would wreck the economy, that the president had once palled around with terrorists, and that Obama was feckless and dictatorial. They fed the beast. But that only created hunger for more hatred.

Enter Trump, who first auditioned for this role as a birther. Here was a guy brave enough to tell the Obama despisers the real truth. Here was a guy willing to target Muslims. Here was a guy who would characterize Mexican immigrants as rapists and criminals. Here was a guy who would mock all those other Republicans who wouldn't talk this way, essentially declaring them phony-baloney (and weak and ugly). The infuriated GOP voters who had bought the Republican propaganda that Obama has destroyed the United States gobbled all this up. Make America great, indeed. These are voters not seeking an ideological crusader who quotes the Constitution and presents intellectually sound arguments for smaller government and lower taxes. They are looking for a venter-in-chief who is as furious as they are and who promises that he and the nation will win, win, win.

The GOP unleashed the dogs of resentment and rage. And a bombastic, arrogant, demagogue billionaire shouted to them, "Follow me, not those louts in Washington." Trump's takeover of the GOP was going smoothly until Cruz, who has also tried to capitalize on right-wing resentment, bested Trump in Iowa, and Rubio, a tea partier turned establishment favorite, came within 3,000 votes of bumping Trump to third. Now Trump's going to have to try harder. And it will be interesting to see how voters respond to a diminished Trump. He still is positioned to do well in New Hampshire. And after that, why not Trump victories in South Carolina and Nevada (the land of casinos), and then the Southern states that hold primary contests on Super Tuesday? But Cruz and Rubio will be nipping at his heels. (Watch the establishment money flood into Rubio's campaign treasury.) And there's no telling whether the Trump bubble has burst or whether he can return to the top of the heap with what will likely be an intensified effort to inflame the passions of irate voters.

After Iowa, the Democratic Party and Clinton are facing a fierce ideological challenge from an unlikely and previously underestimated source, while the Republican old guard is confronted by Cruz's traditional assault and Trump's unconventional attack. It's the season of disruption. 

spinesongs:

@evemoneypenny

thatonegaydancer:

chelsimontana:

myblackistrue:

nativeamericanconfessions:

nativeamericanconfessions:

1 Cherokee Trail of Tears
2 Japanese American internment
3 Philippine-American War
4 Jim Crow
5 The genocide of Native Americans
6 Transatlantic slave trade
7 The Middle Passage
8 The history of White American racism
9 Black Codes
10 Slave patrols
11 Ku Klux Klan
12 The War on Drugs
13 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo
14 How white racism grew out of slavery and genocide
15 How whites still benefit from slavery and genocide
16 White anti-racism
17 The Southern strategy
18 The rape of enslaved women
19 Madison Grant
20 The Indian Wars
21 Human zoos
22 The colonization of aboriginals in australia
23 White flight
24 Redlining
25 Proposition 14
26 Homestead Act
27 Tulsa Riots
28 Rosewood massacre
29 Tuskegee Experiment
30 Lynching
31 Hollywood stereotypes
32 Indian Appropriations Acts
33 Immigration Act of 1924
34 Sundown towns
35 Chinese Exclusion Act
36 Emmett Till
37 Vincent Chin
38 Islamophobia
39 Indian boarding schools
40 King Philip’s War
41 Bacon’s Rebellion
42 American slavery compared to Arab, Roman and Latin American slavery
43 History of the gun
44 History of the police
45 History of prisons
46 History of white suburbia
47 Lincoln’s racism and anti-racism
48 George Wallace Governor of Alabama
49 Cointelpro
50 Real estate steering
51 School tracking
52 Mass incarceration of black men
53 Boston school busing riots

By the way  I got this list from facebook so I’m not an expert but I encourage everyone to look some of this stuff up, and so much more, if I missed something, go ahead and add!

Oh yeah,

54 chopping off indigenous women´s breasts off of leisure during the genocide

55 slamming indigenous children against huge rocks during the genocide

56 spaniards dividing into groups the indigenous women each white settler was gonna own and rape during the american genocide

57 In the catholic missions nailing native americans on crosses to represent the 12 disciples

58 and this: (I recommend the book The American Holocaust)

I don´t think yall understand how wicked these people are

59.  The Unangan evacuation and internment during World War II

Y'all still want a white history month now?

This fucked me up

@katblaque

broken-skies-and-angel-wings:

This guy I was talking to was saying how women play sports just as well as men, and he said, “One time I was reffing a womens softball game, on the full moon, and -“ 

And I was like, ” Why does it matter that it was on the full moon?“ 

and he was like “Well, you know, the full moon… women on the full moon" 

and i was like ‘I don’t get it' 

and he was like “Periods" 

and he thought all women just get their periods on the full moon and i just thought it was really funny that he confused women with werewolves. 

wake-up-finn:

theevergreen:

John Boyega (Finn from Star Wars episode 8) had to do it to em lmao

YAAAAS BABY, LET EM KNOW!

no-good-nik:

koalameerkat:

Apparently the coverage of the caucuses regarding Bernie Sanders is super antisemitic. Fox news is saying that as a Jew he doesn’t believe in God, and MSNBC is saying that he’s a “part of a people that historically don’t fit with mainstream American ideals”. Like what the fuck is this trash and why is no one mad?

bc young liberal college students have basically gotten away with calling jews untrustworthy, so why would they be any better? tired of goyim tbh