Everytime I see this comic I always feel a bit happier
This is so important. So so so so soooo important. Seeing people that look like you being displayed in their truth and being exalted changes your life.
we put all our anger, sorrow and frustration into this segment. the punishment for being black in America should not be death. It just can’t be said enough.
I told this story to a few guildies a while back and decided to archive it in a longer format; so here is the story of The Great Flamingo Uprising of 2010 as told to me by my favorite cousin who was a keeper at the time.
In addition to the aviary/jungle exhibit, our zoo has several species of birds that pretty much have the run of the place. They started with a small flock of flamingos and some free-range peacocks that I’m almost certain came from my old piano teacher’s farm. She preferred them to chickens. At some point in time they also acquired a pair of white swans (Or as I call them, “hellbirds”) and some ornamental asian duckies to decorate the pond next to the picnic area. Pigeons, crows, assorted ducks and a large number of opportunistic Canada geese moved in on their own.
Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property (I don’t remember how many there are but the one by the picnic area is the only one with swans) were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long. Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets. I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate.
Like this.^ And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food. The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway. They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change. Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face. It’s traumatizing to you and deeply hilarious to your parents.
Anyway.
The flamingos had their spot near the zoo entrance and never seemed to mind the presence of the other birds, as they kept themselves to themselves and didn’t really like the taste of fish pellets. The problem lay in that their shrimp pond was close to a vending machine. Ordinarily that wouldn’t have been an issue at all, but eventually the goose population grew large enough that one of the gangs decided to annex it. Being territorial little shits, they would harass the poor flamingos any time they strayed within ten feet of it. The flamingos tolerated this for years until one day they snapped collectively. Here’s a summary of the incident in chronological order.
1.) It was a hot day, so everyone in question both human and avian, were cranky by the time the zoo even opened. 2.) A few flamingos (let’s call them The Jets) strayed into the radius of the vending machine and were immediately confronted by the indignant hissing geese (The Sharks) 3.) Possibly due to heat and the simple fact that the geese had been giant douchebags for far too long, the flamingos decided fuck it, this time they were going to FIGHT BACK DAMMIT, and swarmed the geese en mass. 4.) Chaos ensued. The geese were outnumbered 4 to 1 but had the advantage of being able to scream for back-up. 5.) Hearing the shrieking Canada geese and the bellowing of the enraged flamingos, the peacocks came to the conclusion that the apocalypse had come upon them and began to gather in the surrounding trees in droves and wail in despair. Or cheer them on, whichever. 6.) NOISE 7.) Apparently one of the siege tactics employed by the geese is to shit explosively all over the sidewalks. Never in the grass. 8.) The geese, having secured reinforcements from all over the zoo, went berserk and proceeded to attack EVERYBODY who had come to watch be they human or otherwise. 9.) The flamingos were chasing/being chased by the geese through the crowd accompanied by cheers/wails from the peacocks in the box seats. 10.) Complete pandemonium when the zoo tram became stalled on the tracks by the flamingo pond due to battling birds. The Jets, sensing these were somehow reinforcements on the side of the Sharks, charged the tram. Adults were doing the duck and cover. So were the ducks. Small children were screaming, adding to the noise. People were slipping on goose shit and hitting the ground in the fetal position, only to be stampeded by the rampaging flamingos. 11.) The koi continued to bloop hopefully for food. 12.) Two of the geese were cornered by a rival gang of their own and were chased into the swan pond. Cue slow-motion. 13.) The swans detected an enemy presence in their territory and by god, SOMEBODY was going to PAY. 14.) The staff were having no luck in breaking up the fight and on the verge of giving up and just building another zoo elsewhere when the hellbirds stormed the battlefield, trumpeting battle-cries, to dispense feathered justice. The staff promptly dropped their brooms and fled. 15.) The uprising was squashed in less than two minutes. Number of casualties was unknown, feathers were flying everywhere and there was enough goose shit to build another bird. One staff member had been knocked to the ground and was left with a melon sized bruise courtesy of one of the hellbirds. Several children were traumatized, probably for life. The zoo eventually removed the vending machine by the flamingos.
The geese went back to being giant douchebags. Because geese.
It's possible Hillary has spent a TINY bit too much time with President Obama.
First Trump tweeted the now infamous image of Hillary Clinton on a bed of money, flanked by by what clearly appeared to be a Star of David. When called on the anti-Semitic imagery, Trump countered that it wasn’t a Star of David at all, It was “just a star” or a “sheriff’s badge”.
Trump also made the argument that the image was just one that he picked up from an “anti-Hillary site.” Which is true. However, that anti-Hillary site turns out to be part of the fascist white supremacist alt-right—which doesn’t exactly bolster the idea that the image is not anti-Semitic.
But the points of the little star clearly got under Trump’s wispy thin orange skin. He offered up a series of unfunny explanations for the image. Then in his speech yesterday, he went into an an insane, rambling monologue including more star talk, that was nuts even by Donald Trump standards.
Now Trump has apparently engaged in a world-wide search for all things six-sided in an effort to show that what he flashed was not—not—a Star of David. Those efforts culminated overnight in the joy of seeing Donald Trump hiding behind the skirts of Queen Elsa.
Because, yes, it’s obvious that a six-pointed star on a page also covered in snowflakes has the same implication as one filled with derogatory comments hung above a pile of money. This may seem like an extreme stretch, and it is, however it’s probably not be coincidental that Trump’s first six-pointed catch was Queen Elsa—he’s always on the lookout for a young, foreign blonde.
In any case, it didn’t take long for some amusingly chilly reactions to Trump’s tweet. Including this:
Hold up - you mean there are people who watch Fight Club and don’t realise that Tyler Durden is meant to be full of shit?
I mean, his doctrine of radical individualism is a sham that ultimately reduces his followers to faceless conformity. This isn’t deep metatextual wankery - it’s the literal text of the film.
How do you see the film and not get that?
My ex didn’t get this. He loves Tyler durden. I’ve never seen fight club so I DIDN’T KNOW.
Yeah, in the film he’s a total con-man. His grand speeches sound good if you don’t think about them too deeply, but they’re not meant to be insightful - they’re meant to be a snake-oil salesman’s patter, calculated to bamboozle dumb, angry young men into doing his bidding.
Trouble is, they’re sufficiently well-written that apparently they work on the dumb, angry young men in the audience, too.
I’ve actually written about this academically! There’s a really specific genre I call bro cinema that includes fight club, all of kubricks work, some Scorsese, and Tarantino (all of which I love TBH.) These directors don’t explicitly condemn toxic masculinity and instead trust the audience to have COMMON SENSE and realize that Alex from A Clockwork Orange or Tyler Durden or Travis Bickle are horrific misogynists. But without the film telling the audience how to feel about these characters, men misinterpret the objectivity as glorification. Fight Club is about how shitty masculinity is, but it’s been warped by men grasping for justification for their misogyny
Nobody said #AllLivesMatter until we said #BlackLivesMatter Nobody said #HeterosexualPrideDay until we had #GayPride Nobody wants #WhiteHistoryMonth until its #BlackHistoryMonth Nobody mentions #MensRights until we talk about #Feminism
This shows me that you don’t actually care about these things, you just want all the “minorities” to shut up so the status quo never changes.
Fuck GMO labeling. How about developing "corporate responsibility" system of labeling?
The Vermont law requiring labels on many foods with genetically modified (GMO) or genetically engineered (GE) ingredients went into effect last week, but the move by the federal government to overturn that law and eventually replace the tiny text labels with barcodes has cleared a significant hurdle in the U.S. Senate.
Samples of GMO labels from Vermont store shelves (click to enlarge):
Shortly before the Vermont law was set to kick in, Sen. Pat Roberts (KS) and Sen. Debbie Stabenow (MI) proposed legislation that seeks to outlaw the Vermont labels, prohibit and state or local governments from crafting their own rules, and set out guidelines for federal regulators to — at some point a few years down the road — create a nationwide GMO labeling system that would allow manufacturers to just give phone numbers, or print a barcode that links to a website address with more information.
The bill was fast-tracked, skipping over the usual process of being considered, heard, and marked up in a relevant committee.
Instead, as he did with a previously failed piece of GMO labeling legislation, Majority Leader Sen. McConnell — on behalf of agribusiness-backed Roberts and Stabenow — used the husk of another piece of bill (to defund Planned Parenthood; itself introduced as a substitute for a bill that was originally intended to reauthorize the National Sea Grant College program) to bring the GMO bill to the entire Senate floor right away.
Before voting on whether or not to advance the bill (it will go before the full Senate for a final vote later this week), Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada, scolded McConnell, claiming that the Majority Leader was breaking his previous promise to ensure that every piece of legislation went through the proper channels.
“On GMOs that’s not the case,” said Reid, who decried the lack of an amendment process. “Senator McConnell should respect his colleagues, Democrat and Republican.”
Supporters of the bill needed 60 votes, and Reid exhorted his party to vote against cloture if only so that the legislation could be considered and amended as the process is intended. However, a number of high-profile Democrats — including Sen. Al Franken (MN) and Sen. Diane Feinstein (CA) — crossed the aisle to vote in favor of advancing the bill, resulting in more than enough votes (65-32) to move the legislation forward.
In debate following the vote, Sen. Jeff Merkley of Oregon argued that agribusiness companies are pushing this legislation, counter to the desires of American voters.
“This law doesn’t actually require a label,” said Merkley, noting that the default “label” is actually a barcode with no indication of what information is obtainable from scanning the barcode. “Package after package in America already have barcodes. it doesn’t say that there are GMO ingredients in this package. it doesn’t say scan here for more on the GMO ingredients in this package. just scan me… all it does it take you to a website… This is not a label; it’s an obstacle course.”
“We’re disappointed that the Senate has pushed this bill forward when important questions remain about potential loopholes that would sharply limit its effectiveness,” says Halloran. “The FDA raised issues about language that could exempt most GMO products on the market. Moreover, this bill – which blocks state GMO labeling laws immediately — doesn’t require the USDA to establish the new national standard for two years, leaving a legal vacuum that would undermine GMO labeling already occurring in the marketplace. We urge Senators to listen to the nine out of ten consumers who support mandatory, on-package GMO labeling and oppose this bill.”
Where is my crossover AU where Peter Quill is on his way back to Earth and sort of accidentally rescues Mark Watney from Mars along the way
Quill: Hey guys, come take a look out the window! I think there’s somebody down there! Rocket: So? Quill: That’s Mars. No one’s SUPPOSED to be there. Drax: Have the Terrens not yet achieved space travel? Quill: I mean, BARELY. And it looks like he’s all alone down there, that can’t be right. Gamora: Should we offer our assistance? Rocket: Ah, leave him!
Quill: Hey buddy, you need a hand? Mark: The fuck was in those fucking potatoes
Mark: Okay, I can accept the aliens, I can accept the green lady, I can accept the little dancing tree, I can even accept the raccoon, but can someone please tell me why the raccoon has GUNS?
Mark: *notices Quill listening to his Awesome Mix tape* Oh my God do you have music? Please tell me you have music.
the new ilvermorny canon is that it’s a joke told by americans to the british somewhere in the early 1800′s that just kept on going. like, yeah we got american hogwarts. yeah of course just the one american hogwarts, how many more hogwarts would we have built. no you can’t see it, it’s invisible on a mountain somewhere. yeah, houses, it’s got the regular number of houses, it’s got three. four. it’s got four houses. just the one american hogwarts school. join the triwizard tournament? naw, man, we’re busy. we’re too busy cleaning our four houses on that mountain somewhere, fuck off.
This is great but then I re-read it my head with Eddie Izzard’s voice and it became 500% better.
Gryffindor online description: brave, noble, chivalrous, a little arrogant and reckless at times, but an all around hero
Gryffindor actual description: "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?" *sees spider and screams*
Ravenclaw online description: witty, intelligent, tends to be eccentric, very smart and pretty nerdy,
Ravenclaw actual description: hasn't left the house in six days, is down to one square of toilet paper but doesn't notice because they're so deep into the Internet
Slytherin online description: cunning, clever, resourceful, can be ruthless and tends to be a villain on the worst days, but loyal to those they love
Slytherin actual description: gets hit in the head with a dodgeball in p.e. because they were busy thinking of ways to overthrow the government
Hufflepuff online description: kind, sweet, tends to be soft spoken, can be a pushover, loyal, hardworking, overly nice sometimes
Hufflepuff actual description: smiles a lot thinks about food 24/7 until someone disses their friend, then all hell breaks loose
AND you have to spend half the day in their cubicle explaining to them stuff you figure they should know since they make five times the amount of money you do.
when someone has a really strong body spray that you can’t stand and you have to hold your nose and you can’t concentrate on doing your work
Honestly one of the most important scenes in the entire Harry Potter series is when nine-year-old Severus Snape uses magic to cause a tree branch to fall on Petunia. Even at nine he had no qualms about hurting people Lily loved. This really serves to underscore the idea that while Snape loved Lily, he was not truly invested in her happiness or well-being because he did not care about the people she loved. At age nine he didn’t care about hurting her sister and at age twenty he didn’t care about the imminent deaths of her husband and infant son. So I will always stand by my opinion that while Snape no doubt loved Lily, it was not a healthy love and he really never deserved to have it reciprocated.
Official White House photographer Pete Souza captured an estimated 2 million photos over 8 years while Obama was in office… Here’s a selection of some of his favourite shots.
I feel like America just hit its peak for presidents. How can you beat Obama as a president? Y'all are downgrading.
I don’t want him to go. ;_; He was such a great president, I loved him.
