Benny gets the most joy when his human mom brings home rescued kittens, so he can help look after them and show them the same love that he received when he was rescued. Whenever Ellen brings home an orphan baby (or a box of babies), Benny anticipates their arrival and is filled with excitement. He becomes their dedicated surrogate dad, and his fatherly instinct kicks in the moment he sees a kitten.
a shallow and pretentious male narrator whos supposed to fall in love with a manic pixie girl takes a wrong turn, and bumps into another shallow and pretentious male narrator, they fall in love instead
ok but why does captain america have a fitness challenge and why is it still being shown in schools. he took experimental super steroids and is currently an international fugitive
dystopia au where we are all assigned one of two chosen genders at birth
Thanks to ultrasounds, the genders can be assigned before birth. The people are so excited to conform they throw “Gender reveal parties” to make sure their offspring exist in a strict binary since before they can even form thoughts.
Children are color-coded according to their binary assignment.
One of the genders is seen as inherently inferior.
This all sounds really effing creepy when you put it that way
#BECAUSE IT IS
And if you deviate from the assigned gender you can be disowned by your family, fired from your job, and beaten by authorities.
Maybe if we made a popular YA fiction series phrasing it like this cis people might actually get it
The next time hollywood says ‘we couldn’t cast someone not white because… reasons….’
producer: we can’t write this character, I don’t know any actors like that!
casting director: okay this is gonna sound revolutionary but….maybe we could just tell people what we’re looking for and they might want to be in our thing
A girl holding a duck speaks to a boy holding a cat. Detail from side A of a Campanian red-figure krater, attributed to the Painter of Bologna 497; ca. 410-400 BCE. Now in the Archaeological Museum of Agrigento. Photo credit: Zde/Wikimedia Commons.
There’s a creativity variable I can set when the network is generating new recipes, and when I set it low, it comes up with its best guess at the most quintessential recipe titles:
When I tell it to get creative, things get even weirder.
Beef Soup With Swamp Peef And Cheese Chocolate Chops & Chocolate Chips Crimm Grunk Garlic Cleas Beasy Mist Export Bean Spoons In Pie-Shell, Top If Spoon and Whip The Mustard Chocolate Pickle Sauce Whole Chicken Cookies Salmon Beef Style Chicken Bottom Star * Cover Meats Out Of Meat Completely Meat Circle Completely Meat Chocolate Pie Cabbage Pot Cookies Artichoke Gelatin Dogs Crockpot Cold Water
D&D players will always come up with the most bizarre, workable solutions to problems when you least expect it.
In one game I ran, the party needed to find a magical artifact and didn’t have any idea where it was at all. So they decided to use Commune to figure it out - but Commune as a spell only lets you ask yes or no questions, and get an answer out of it. So they took a map of the continent, drew a line down half of it, and asked “Is the artifact on this half of the map?”. They then continued, narrowing the artifact’s location down further and further, until they were able to pinpoint the exact building in question.
This reminds me of the last campaign I was in, when my husband played a Telepathic Psion. When we were coming up with our inventories at the beginning of the game, everyone else is putting down normal shit like horses, packs, travel provisions, money.
My husband asked for a bear trap.
The DM (who happened to be coolkidmitch) asked him what the hell he could possibly need a bear trap for, to which my husband only said, “You’ll see.” After about twenty minutes of figuring out what this bear trap would weigh, the skill my husband would have to roll in order to use it, and a bunch of other minutiae, my husband had a bear trap in his inventory.
Now, all of us kind of forgot about the bear trap while we were adventuring along on our escort quest (during which my husband’s Psion regularly tried to convince one of our employers that there was a golden acorn/tree of life/fountain of youth/whatever the fuck in the forest so she would wander off and get herself eaten by bears - she was really rude) until we run into a situation where we’ve been surprised by the locals and nobody can draw a weapon without causing a real problem.
My husband pulls the bear trap out of his saddlebag, holds it out to the nearest goon, and says the goon needs to roll a will check. When asked why the goon needs to roll a will check, my husband calmly replies, “He’s being offered the fanciest hat he’s ever seen in his life, and he really wants to put it on.”
Moment of silence around the gaming table as all of us realize that my husband is trying to end the encounter by convincing a goon to put a bear trap on his head like a hat.
The goon failed the will check.
I gotta share The Grand Show story now.
So my D&D campaign is comprised of four newbies, one guy with a lot of tabletop experience, and me, the newbie DM. The crew is trying to break into a walled manor, in part to find out if the Lord inside had anything to do with some culty plot shenanigans (P.S: he was dead the whole time, so no one would have detected them from inside the wall regardless).
I am very explicit to them about the fact that they are trying to break into the Lord’s manor, in the middle of the day, across from the main thoroughfare of the town, with no cover or disguise of any kind, and they are all level 2 - so no teleportation, invisibility, illusions - nothing. They do not heed my warnings, and our gnome paladin and halfling rogue toss a grappling hook over the wall and start to climb it. Meanwhile the other three in the party - a totally inconspicuous group consisting of a dragonborn with a cat, a tiefling in a chainmail bikini, a half-vampire warlock with a mask and a swordcane, and an NPC satyr who was along for the ride - are just hanging out below the wall watching.
After a minute I say, “behind you, you notice that a crowd of about ten or twelve peasants have gathered and are whispering in worried voices. You notice two guards approaching from down the road.”
Halfling rogue - one of the more-or-less newbies of the crew - whips around and immediately shouts “WELCOME TO THE GRAND SHOW!”, and scores an excellent deception roll. Dragonborn starts making his cat do tricks and rolls a sick animal handling check. Tiefling cleric begins pole-dancing on her spear and also rolls high. The warlock starts doing special effects with Minor Illusion and rolls ok. They nudge the satyr into playing music for them, who crits his performance check and charms half the audience as a result. The paladin, from the top of the wall, starts juggling his hammers and midway through throws one at the window of the Lord’s manor, breaking it so they can get in.
I was already going to give them that, and then nearly every last fucking NPC rolled an insight check of less than 10. So the group also made 10 gold for their “busking” and got into the manor completely unhindered. \o/ goddamnit.
Roleplaying in general = epic
@listener-blue all i can think of is the damn squid babies
Running a campaign making use of the Sandstorm book for 3.5. Which is a desert environment and monster supplement book. So, the campaign is going well for an evil game. All the players are doing their shenanigans.
Most of them are following the plot but a player who regretted their CE character was given an option to reroll a new one as a cleric of storms. I figure I’ll give him a leg up and allow it. This is how the story of “Money Rain” Began.
So, rolling random treasure as they’re all level 8 or so. You can get some really silly ass results on the random treasure table. One of the enemies they killed happened to have a collection of 100,000 gold… In copper coins. All of it in copper coins. 10 million fucking pennies. So, the players, utilizing several extradimensional storage spaces have this ocean of pennies on hand to try and later convert it into a sensible currency like adamantine ingots or something.
One of the things they’ve been doing is cooperating with this cult, not so much as members but as “consultants.” Well, they were asked to help pacify this town and make it ready for the cult… Problem is they’re a group of 6 ne’er do wells versus a town of 3,500 people… That’s when the storm cleric goes, “well, I can make and generate a hurricane.” And that’s when the psion of the asks, “Can that include tornados and high speed winds?” I made the mistake of saying, “Yes.”
They then go on a twenty minute explanation and spend most of that doing various physics calculations. What is their grand plan for utilizing a force 3 hurricane in the desert? MONEY. FUCKING. RAIN. They decide to dump all 10 million copper into a pile and have tornadoes suck it up. After some quick math on the square and cubic footage of the town… They can get something like 9 coins per cubic foot of space for something like 10 rounds. And so it hailed pennies. More, and more and more. People immediately sought shelter because these things were doing almost 1 lethal point of damage from flying around at above terminal velocity. Then the weight on houses started collapsing roofs…
All told they ended up killing around 25% of the city, critical injuring another 30%, and left every single family with at least one casualty.
god damn money rain.
This post gets better everytime it crosses my dash
My spouse-person was running a game that frustrated him to no end. He was trying to make a dante’s inferno, seven deadly sins style game. Each of his players were tieflings that represented some sort of vice, one of said sins- gluttony, lust, so on. (I got greed, but I could hardly ever play. Not my style of game anyway.)
So, Lust buys a tavern. And the whole party conspires to never leave this tavern ever. The whole world is burning down around them, but they’re perfectly content just running this tavern that doubled as a bordello (thanks, Lust).
The one time I can actually play, spouse-person creates an event that forces them to leave the tavern. He does this by having a Lich move in and pose as potential competition. So, we go over there after being harassed by some of the minions to take care of this problem.
So, we arrive at the castle. It’s dilapidated and creepy and not homey- perfect for an undead lord, right? That’s when Holiday as the gnome wizard gets the bright idea while we’re talking to the Lich to just start mending the castle with his magic hammer of Mending. (He was not playing one of the Sins, but worked for Lust)
The Lich does not like this. Does not like this at all. Like, throwing magic at Holiday screaming ‘knock it off!’ does not like this. Meanwhile, Holiday is both invisible and using expeditious retreat while gleefully bouncing all over the place with his Mending Hammer.
So Holiday got all of his attention while we just killed him. Problem solved and, hey! New Tavern.
IT Guy here. We (the IT and IT Security experts) continue to find that the more obtrusive a “turn off your ad-blocker” site tends to be, the *more likely it is* for that site to serve ads containing viruses or malware.
A great example of this is, I shit you not, Forbes.com. They refuse to let you see their content with an ad-blocker enabled, yet they do such a profoundly shitty job vetting their ads that their site has *repeatedly* served up Malware to end users. Yet they still demand your ad blocker be turned off or you subscribe to their content to see it.
Look, I get that content owners need to get paid. I think we can all agree on that. The problem is that until and unless ad networks are extensively vetted, and until and unless these site owners agree to compensate users infected with malware from their site for lost time or damages, then an ad blocker is more of a *LEGITIMATE SECURITY TOOL* than some mere banner ad blocker, more along the lines of your anti-virus suite or anti-malware scanner. I’d recommend anyone and everyone at home make use of ad blockers by default, to be honest, to protect yourselves.
So yeah. If a website calls you out on an ad blocker in anything beyond static images in place of ad blocks (like Reddit, Spiceworks, and Nexus Mods), then keep them blocked. More than likely, those cretins have served folks malware before, but they’d rather you unblock their dangerous ad networks instead of fixing the problem in the first place.
No you don’t understand how frustrated I am that we always depicted the Apostles as old men, especially when it comes to during-Jesus-alive stuff.
They were probably late teens to early 20s, given the time and the description and some Biblical passages.
They were not ancient old men with long beards and wrinkles at the Last Supper.
They were young adult rebels with a cause.
where my punk-rock apostles at
I can’t remember where, but the bible says that Jesus was the only one who was old enough to pay the temple tax required by Jewish law, none of the disciples had hit that age. A quick google tells me that Jewish men pay it from the age of 20 - all of the disciples were teenagers.
Not all of them! Matthew 17:24-27 addresses the issue of the temple tax, in which Jesus tells Peter to get a four-drachma piece from a fish’s mouth to account “for my tax and yours”. In addition, Peter is the only person directly mentioned to have a mother-in-law; Jesus heals her in according to three accounts (Matthew 8:14-17, Mark 1:29-31, and Luke 4:38).
So! The “Disciples were ancient old men with long beards and wrinkles" factoid is actually just statistical error. The average disciple was under 20. Simon Peter, who lived with his mother-in-law and his fishing boat and payed the temple tax was an outlier adn should not have been counted.
whaaaaaat’s up youtube my name is lee jordan and today we’re going to see how much magic i can do in front of muggles before they catch on, check this out
If you guys haven’t heard of this channel, you should check it out. search Robin Seplut. All his videos are just of him feeding and taking care of feral cats. And the titles are just a bonus
the older i get the more i understand the weird shit my grandma says like she say “some people have never cleaned a bathroom in their life and it shows when they speak” and honestly? tea.
Aaron Sorkin just revealed that he has “meetings” coming up with both Marvel and DC—despite the fact that he’s never read a comic book. He’d like someone to find a character that he’d just love. Let’s help him out, shall we?
I have bipolar mood disorder and I get worried that I’m too reliant on my medication especially if the dosage goes up
Then I realized
NEUROTYPICAL PEOPLE ARE JUST AS RELIANT on the neurochemicals in my medication, it’s just that their bodies produce it and mine doesn’t, it’s not that I’m a bad person and idk this realization seems to have really helped me understand and not feel so bad about it?
The Department of Veterans Affairs has recently come under criticism for delivering enormous bills to veterans for alleged debt on overpayment. Many veterans are now struggling to understand why they owe what they owe.
Man, are they gonna regret this. Time for some more Cthulluesque browsing...
The House of Representatives voted today to repeal rules preventing internet service providers from selling their customers’ web browsing and app usage data without explicit consent. The Senate passed the same bill last week, which means the only obstacle that remains is a signature from President Trump—and the White…
hahahahahahaha KEEP YOUR PAWS OFF MY SPREADSHEETS, YOU WILL ENTER DATA WHERE I TELL YOU TO ENTER DATA. I swear, I love my coworkers collectively and individually, but have you ever SEEN a baby boomer handle a spreadsheet? *shudder*
If you use an online app like Google Docs then you’ve long been accustomed to having multiple people collaborate on the same document or spreadsheet at once. Microsoft Excel is finally taking a step into this brave new world of simultaneous editing and adding the ability to co-author spreadsheets.
“Research probing the causes of the racial wealth gap has traced its origins to historic injustices, from slavery to segregation to redlining. The great expansion of wealth in the years after World War II was fueled by public policies such as the GI Bill, which mostly helped white veterans attend college and purchase homes with guaranteed mortgages, building the foundations of an American middle class that largely excluded people of color. The outcomes of past injustice are carried forward as wealth is handed down across generations and are reinforced by ostensibly “color-blind” practices and policies in effect today. Yet many popular explanations for racial economic inequality overlook these deep roots, asserting that wealth disparities must be solely the result of individual life choices and personal achievements. The misconception that personal responsibility accounts for the racial wealth gap is an obstacle to the policies that could effectively address racial disparities.”
