Shared posts

13 Sep 20:01

One-of-a-Kind Facial Hair Designs from the 2016 National Beard and Moustache Championships

by Cammie Finch
Suko

It's like beard cosplay.

Every year, bold men from around the nation blow-dry, slick back, and curl their facial hair into brilliantly epic designs for the National Beard and Moustache Championships, and this year's contestants didn't fail to impress. The men entered their amazing do's into 18 categories, including delicate Dali mustaches, Hungarian handlebars, slender Fu Manchu fringe, traditional Amish beards, or the more creative full beard freestyles. The photographs prove that there's a real art to styling a beard or mustache.

The competition was documented by Las Vegas-based commercial photographer Greg Anderson, who traveled to Nashville to capture the charming participants' faces. Each photo showcases the men's specific personalities through carefully chosen outfits, props, and expressions. A competition for baffling beards and medal-worthy mustaches calls for nothing short than quirky, individualized photos to show off this unique craft.

You can view this year's results, as well as those from past years, on the official Championship website.

Which one would you vote for?



And it's only a matter of time before this little guy gets in on the action...

Greg Anderson: Website | Facebook | Instagram
via [Bored Panda]

All images via Greg Anderson.

12 Sep 20:50

thecommonchick: OMG SPOTIFY IS CLEVER AF 😂

Suko

OK this makes me like Spotify a little bit more (but ugh, please get better at the social sharing stuff).









thecommonchick:

OMG SPOTIFY IS CLEVER AF 😂

11 Sep 09:11

Captain America: Civil War – the We Are All Rational Adults Version

Suko

Yes this is pretty much how I wish the movie had gone.

houseofhaleth:

(The more I think about Civil War the more annoyed I get)

Tony: okay so these Accords

Tony: obviously the fact we’ve only just heard of them and they’re being signed in 3 days and they’re fatter than all of us is some shit

Steve: language

Tony: but the fact is, we can’t just run around wherever we want punching people that we personally decide are bad guys

Tony: countries have the right to make their own laws and we can’t just ignore them because we’re really cool

Tony: (though we are)

Tony: anyway the fact is nobody actually voted for you to be President of Avengerdonia, steve, so we should like, obey the people we elected, like everyone else in the world does, this is how democracy works

Sam: i would vote for steve

Steve: i will be honest here

Steve: i have very much enjoyed being in charge with no restrictions

Steve: it has been very efficient and we’ve saved loads of lives (like loads)

Steve: however as i am not in fact a massive jerkhole dictator and i do believe in democracy

Steve: you are of course right we should get the nod from the government before we crash in anywhere to save the day, as long as that can be done quickly and effectively, and won’t mean that i’m completely banned from saving people

Steve: (because i have zero impulse control when it comes to saving people i just do it)

Tony: oh we know

Sam: everyone else would vote for steve too right natasha you’d vote for steve

Natasha:  no comment

Steve: i mean there are a couple of other things i want to talk about in these papers

Wanda: like the fact we’re not actually accountable for the actions of all supervillains everywhere?

Steve: yeah and the fact that it doesn’t specify that we can’t be thrown in a monstrous sea-jail without a trial or lawyers if we damage property while defending ourselves

Tony: wow steve we’re (mostly) US citizens do you really think we need to specify that?

Steve: i’ve read about ross

Steve: yes we do

Tony: okay then, how about we sit here and hash out our list of amendments and caveats, which they really should have consulted us about more than three days before they meet to sign this document that controls our lives, and we take our improved accords to vienna and talk about it there?

Steve: that sounds really sensible

Sam: wanda you vote for steve too right

Bucky: i do not vote for steve. i vote for anyone except steve. i vote for tony stank’s left shoe, because it is far less reckless than steve

Sam: dude you’re not even in this part of the movie yet

Bucky: i showed up early just to say don’t vote for steve

Tony: holy shit it’s the winter soldier

Bucky: ooooh steve doesn’t like that kind of language you know

Steve: go away and wait for your appropriate plot hook barnes what is this

fin

11 Sep 03:57

bookelfe: This past weekend, several friends and I got to talking about the King Arthur police...

Suko

I'd watch this.

bookelfe:

This past weekend, several friends and I got to talking about the King Arthur police precedural that Fox is allegedly developing. I only mention this because over the course of this conversation we realized that the ONLY modern-King-Arthur television show that Fox should really be developing is a hilarious reincarnation-based office sitcom, and now I can’t stop thinking about it, so I am going to tell you all about this imaginary sitcom in EXCRUCIATING DETAIL.

My imaginary workplace sitcom is about a struggling nonprofit organization and is probably written by the people who wrote Parks and Rec and Brooklyn 99. Accordingly, it stars Retta and Melissa Fumero:

imageimage

as Alice and Pam, OFFICE NEMESIS battling nonprofit burnout! and each other!

….UNTIL, in the first episode, they start having flashbacks and eventually realize: they are the reincarnations of, respectively, King Arthur and Lancelot, they are destined to fight evil while being devoted to each other in an epic and legendary way, and weekly budget meetings just got really weird!

Every episode alternates between flashbacks to Round Table efforts to fight evil, provide justice, build a better and more stable society, etc., and current-day office hijinks as the nonprofit attempts to do the same, but with much more paperwork.

As a sidenote, all the flashbacks initially have placeholder white guy actors doing ye olde British accents and speaking forsoothly, except for the person having the flashback, who plays themselves. Once Alice and Pam recognize each other at the end of the first episode, however, every flashback features Retta and Melissa Fumero talking exactly like they would in the office while wearing shining armor.

The rest of the placeholder actors gradually get replaced by actual cast members as further reincarnation reveals occur,

including:

- Donald Glover as the reincarnation of Sir Gawain, ladies’ man and too-cool-for-school tech bro, who’s the only person who knows how to keep the website running!

image

- Rahul Kohli as the noble reincarnation of King Pellinore, the development manager who is constantly questing after very worthy but COMPLETELY UNATTAINABLE grants!

image

- Yael Grobglas as the reincarnation of Sir Kay, the long-suffering and sarcastic office business manager who must always be the one to point out they don’t have enough money for their pet project!

image

- Sandra Oh as the director’s PA, the only person who knows where everything is and keeps the office running and everybody from murdering each other; she of course turns out to be Guinevere!

image

- and, of course, Jaime Camil as Merlin, the director of the nonprofit, who has been gathering all the Round Table reincarnations together for world-saving purposes all this while!

image

Merlin is not reincarnated, for the record. Merlin is just Merlin. This is why Merlin is very good at magic and WILDLY INCOMPETENT at being the director of a nonprofit organization.

Sample episodes include:

- the episode where everyone is rushing to meet a grant deadline, with flashbacks to PREPARING FOR BATTLE AGAINST THE ROMANS

- the team retreat episode in which Merlin insists everybody do trust falls; in flashbacks, Merlin also insists everybody do trust falls

- the episode in which Donald Glover has to go through ludicrous hoops to install a new open-source software, intercut with the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

- the mid-season love triangle episode, in which a.) the reveal of who is Guinevere, b.) the reveal that Lancelot and Arthur were way more than good buddies, and c.) THE MOST AWKWARD OFFICE MEETINGS YET, FOR EVERYONE

ok so who wants to fund my sitcom now

10 Sep 23:13

kyujocosplay: Whooo!!! Finished Lol. The con is too that’s why...

Suko

Oh my gawd I love this. Her beard! Her hair! Her dress!!!















kyujocosplay:

Whooo!!! Finished Lol. The con is too that’s why I wasn’t active at all lol.

But here are my photos (taken at like 12am the first day I wore it. So that’s why I’m so shiny lol)

But this is my (reclaimed) Erebor regal dwarf dress :) it s super fun omg.

and I had two people recognize me from Tumblr two, I was so surprised lol! But I failed to get your Tumblr name, so please if either of you see this tell me! You were very kind omg.

Garb Week!

10 Sep 10:00

Architect-Turned-Baker Designs Geometric Desserts That Look Like Modern Buildings

by Sara Barnes
Suko

Very nice.

Pastry chef Dinara Kasko combines architecture and baking to create desserts that, from certain angles, look like buildings rather than sweets. They feature strong, precise lines and glossy exteriors that resemble concrete and steel rather than soft, spongy cakes. This unique fusion is a striking interpretation of edible structures—forget your ordinary gingerbread houses; these creations are akin to Zaha Hadid’s visionary designs.

Kasko’s strong point of view comes from her training as an architect, and she approaches her desserts as if they were buildings. “A beautiful cake as well as a beautiful building needs preliminary design,” she explained to So Good Magazine. “It’s necessary to work with the form, volume, composition, proportion, color and texture correctly. The right combination of all these factors will let us create a well-balanced cake and a well-balanced building.”

In addition to her baking philosophy, Kasko uses the latest tools to achieve their awe-inspiring forms. “New technologies [in building construction] are presented in different kinds of art; we can also implement new solutions in pâtisserie,” she said. “Nowadays with the help of 3D modeling and 3D printing, pastry chefs are open to new interesting possibilities.”

Dinara Kasko: Instagram
via [Laughing Squid]

10 Sep 09:58

Artist Draws Fantastical Creatures Interacting with Commuters on NYC Subway

by Sara Barnes
Suko

Not really the style of monster I personally prefer but the cellphone monster with the human doll/phone is pretty charming.

Riding on the subway every day might seem like it’d get old, but artist Ben Rubin keeps a fresh perspective with his imaginative series Subway Doodle. The ongoing project features snapshots of New York City train cars and passengers with a fantastical twist—Rubin adds his own characters into the scenes as they “interact” with real-world surroundings in both amusing and mischievous ways. The larger-than-life creatures hang on sleepy riders, sneak sips of coffee, and of course, are similarly engrossed in their phones.

Subway Doodle begins while Rubin is en route to a destination—it’s how the series was first born. “I started sketching on my iPad during my commute just to pass the time. One day I took a picture with my iPad on the train and drew over the picture,” he explained to Odyssey. "It was fun so I did another. And another. Then it just kind of continued from there."

Years after beginning the project, Rubin continues to regularly post illustrations. Follow his Instagram to what’s lurking in the underground as well as on the streets of the Big Apple.

Subway Doodle: Instagram | Facebook
via [Reddit]

10 Sep 07:54

elodieunderglass: mquinn88: Eva Green as Miss Alma LeFay...

Suko

Yesssss



elodieunderglass:

mquinn88:

Eva Green as Miss Alma LeFay Peregrine

*bites pencil in half*

05 Sep 05:06

phantomqueen: my storytelling final! or, that week i almost...

Suko

love this.


page 1


page 2


page 3


page 4


page 5

phantomqueen:

my storytelling final! or, that week i almost went blind cross-hatching!

it’s a couple weeks old at this point, but i’m still proud of it (all that cross-hatching…) even though looking back at it now i can see a ton of flaws or things i just could’ve done better. maybe i’ll redo it one day.

the page colors are kind of wonky because they’re photographs; i didn’t have a scanner big enough for the pages.

hell yeah monster/human friendships

04 Sep 00:46

medusamori: that dressssssssssssssssssssss

Suko

Oooooo





medusamori:

that dressssssssssssssssssssss

03 Sep 17:12

Ever wonder how to taunt someone in true medieval fashion?...

Suko

I didn't know this and now I shall totally flip people off this way.



Ever wonder how to taunt someone in true medieval fashion? During the Hundred Years War the French so feared and hated the English longbowman that they threatened to cut off the two primary fingers used to draw the bowstring of any bowman they captured. The English archers would taunt the French by holding out two fingers. Basically saying “Come and take it!”. It was the medieval version of ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ. If the battles of Crecy, Poitiers, and Agincourt tell us anything. It did not work out well for the French. (at Normandy, France)

02 Sep 01:47

Letter Sent to Iceland with Hand-Drawn Map Instead of Address Actually Arrives at Destination

by Cammie Finch
Suko

while it's not feasible to have everyone do this, I rather hope the postal workers assigned to this one liked the treasure hunt it must have sent them on.

Although Iceland is having a moment as a top travel destination, it hasn't lost its small village charm. A letter with a hand-drawn map in place of a written-out address was mailed to a farm in Hvammseit, West Iceland. Not only did it get processed through the mail system, it was successfully delivered to the correct address!

This incredible feat of postal service, which recently surfaced on Reddit, consisted of an envelope labeled with the country, city name, and the line "A horse farm with an Icelandic/Danish couple and 3 kids and a lot of sheep." In case there were several farms which fit this description, the envelope sender included an extra piece of recipient identification: "The Danish woman works in a supermarket in Búðardalur." What looks like an accompanying illustration is a street map of the intended delivery address, complete with a diagram of the nearby lake, names of crossroads, and a big red dot, marking the farm as "here."

According to a local Icelandic news service, the letter was mailed by a group of tourists in Reykjavík who had visited the farm, owned by the Holar family, earlier in the year. Condé Nast Traveler reveals that the farm attracts a small amount of travelers, as it boasts a "mini zoo" where visitors are encouraged to pet the family's horses, goats, sheep, pigs, and other animals. Unsure of the farm's address, the tourists made use of their drawing skills and left the best clues they could for the postman to solve. And they did—thus proving that perhaps "anything is possible in Iceland."

Here's a closer look at the map on the envelope:



And here are a few other details to note.

Country: Iceland
City: Búðardalur
Name: a horse farm with an icelandic/danish couple and 3 kids a lot of sheep!

the danish woman works in a supermarket in Búðardalur
Takk fyrir! [translation: Thank you!]


via [Boing Boing]

31 Aug 04:29

pearwaldorf: text post credit: [ x ]

Suko

Wilson & Vanessa 4EVAH







pearwaldorf:

text post credit: [ x ]

31 Aug 04:24

arnoldpalmerinabklynfridge: Magic

Suko

Love the diversity of skin colors and textures.

31 Aug 04:20

Photo

Suko

Adorable!



30 Aug 14:03

Breathtaking Portraits Capture Ballet's Finest Dancing on the Streets of New York

by Leah Pellegrini
Suko

There are so many of these but I really like the shapes and tension captured in these photos. And the amazing musculature!

Miming and photography might not seem to go hand-in-hand, but for Omar Z. Robles, a background in the former physical art has inspired a stunning series of still images with the dynamic elegance of any real-time staged show. Born in Puerto Rico but now based in New York City, Robles captures dancers poised gracefully against the city grit, performing pirouettes and pliés amid taxi traffic jams, sidewalk puddles, and other bustling urban scenes.

In an interview with Huffington Post, he explains, “Like mime theater, photography [is] an amazing nonverbal communication medium…Yet it allowed [me] to capture fleeting emotions and tell a story for a much longer time than mime theater could.” In his stirring visual tales, ballerinas and ballerinos make the perfect protagonists. As he describes, “Ballet dancers make us feel as if their movements were truly effortless. This while pushing their bodies to the very extreme of what is humanly possible. It is that grace and elegance which mesmerizes us.”

He works with dancers from the American Ballet Theatre, Dance Theatre of Harlem, Ballet Concierto De Puerto Rico, Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre, and more, and their paused movements are indeed mesmerizing, particularly when paired with Robles’ selections of surroundings. The men and women twist and twirl with elegance, encumbered by neither the city hubbub nor the harshest of natural elements. He’s taken many of the portraits during pounding rainstorms, for example, with the dazzling drops swirling around long legs and arms like glitter; otherwise, he tends to seek sensational lighting conditions, whether using the beams of cars to create technicolor backgrounds, sourcing slices of heavy shadow in dim alleyways, or backlighting his subjects in the glow of the setting sun.

The continuously developing collection is stunning in its vibrant variety, rendering theatrics from ordinary sidewalks. This juxtaposition between ballet dancer and urban backdrop is all a part of Robles’ vision: “to break the norm of the everyday, to shatter the monotony of our way of life and portray a world where we could move without the stiff rules of etiquette. To capture the idea of weightlessness, or hovering around town.”

Special appearance by the legendary Bill Cunningham in the background.

Omar Z. Robles: WebsiteTwitter | Instagram
via [Huffington Post]

All images via Omar Z. Robles.

29 Aug 00:35

charliebowater: “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will...

Suko

Lovely.



charliebowater:

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

A little doodle for one the most beautiful lines from any poem, The Old Astronomer. Available on S6 for those who asked :)

26 Aug 19:52

mysharona1987: Hilarious book dedications. 

Suko

Love these

















mysharona1987:

Hilarious book dedications. 

25 Aug 06:05

aiyousuru: A flexible rapier made during the 19th century in...

Suko

I want it.







aiyousuru:

A flexible rapier made during the 19th century in Toledo, Spain.

I need 6 of them O_O

22 Aug 09:40

100 Years of Beauty - Episode 23: Hawaii (Misty)

by WatchCut Video
Suko

Beautiful.

Aloha! Misty wears the last hundred years of Hawaiian history and identity in our latest video. We explore how the Hawai’i national consciousness survives in the form of beauty--despite occupation and annexation by the United States at the turn of the 20th century. By the end, we’ll see that a sovereign Hawai’i nation has actually flourished the entire time. What look is your favorite?

For licensing and media inquiries, go to http://www.cut.com/licensing

Produced, Directed, and Edited by Cut.com

Talent
Misty Ma’a (https://www.instagram.com/mistymaa/)

Crew
Lindsey Watkins - Hair (http://lindseywatkins.com/)
Erin Beal - Makeup (http://www.erinregister.com/)
Monica Cuaresma - Body Art (https://www.instagram.com/solsticedesign_/)

Music
Hidden Transmission by LandMrks
https://www.marmosetmusic.com/

Behind the scenes and high res images
https://www.pinterest.com/watchcut/100-years-of-beauty-hawaii/
22 Aug 06:29

Me, on a date: So how did you feel about Mad Max?

Suko

So Shiny! So Chrome!!

Me, on a date: So how did you feel about Mad Max?
Him: This is the vehicle by which they will force feminism down my throat. This is the Trojan Horse Hollywood leftists will use to insist on the idea that women are equal to men in all things, including physique, strength, and logic. And this is the subterfuge they will use to blur the lines between masculinity and femininity, further ruining women for men, and men for wo -
Me, turning to the waitress, screaming: hi excuse me could you please WITNESS ME????????????
Me: [hurling every single breadstick on the table at him as if they're projectile weapons]
Waitress, while handing me more breadsticks: WITNESS!!!!!!!!!!!
19 Aug 06:21

toonimated: Arm adjustments 💪🔨⚒🔌

Suko

Someday...



toonimated:

Arm adjustments
💪🔨⚒🔌

16 Aug 19:43

reaperfromtheabyss: marauders4evr: jammy-lannistray: can we take a second to ponder on the fact...

Suko

Truth. Also, I want her armor and bow and whole outfit really.

reaperfromtheabyss:

marauders4evr:

jammy-lannistray:

can we take a second to ponder on the fact that a kids movie did lady armor better than the entire film and comic industry

guess who i’m talking about

did you guess? Well you’re fucking WRONG because it’s Susan goddamn Pevensie

image

They gave her light armor, appropriate for a small archer:chainmail, an arm brace, chest plate, and a light skirt she can easily run around murderizing dudes in the face in

her hair is also only loose in the promo pictures because Susan is fucking busy not dying because her hair was flying into her eyeballs so she braids that shit back

image

her mail shirt is also loose enough that it doesn’t impede her arm movements it’s almost like she’s dressed for a fight wow

image

I like the pinks and purples under her bitchin as hell leather armor here, because you don’t have to be masculine to shoot someone in the goddamn face

“Susan is fucking busy not dying.”

That…is literally the summary of the last book and the series as a whole. 

@strewnwithdiamonds

16 Aug 19:41

fozmeadows: 16ruedelaverrerie: Hit him where it hurts,...

Suko

Apollo is totally a jerk. Go Cassandra!













fozmeadows:

16ruedelaverrerie:

Hit him where it hurts, Cassandra! (Apollo is the WORST.)

THIS IS THE BEST MYTHOLOGY COMIC I’VE EVER SEEN HOLY SHIT

14 Aug 10:21

Portraits of Maine Coon Cats Who Look Like Majestic Mythical Creatures

by Sara Barnes
Suko

OOooo! Lion cats.

Photographer Robert Sijka sheds new light on one of the internet’s most beloved creatures, cats. The Hong Kong-based creative focuses his attention on the Maine Coon, the largest breed of domesticated felines. Their distinctive appearance includes long fur that frames their face like a lion, in addition to a robust build—they can grow up to nearly four feet in length.

Despite this physically-imposing stature, Maine Coons have earned the nickname gentle giant with personalities that are akin to canines rather than other type of cats. This combination of looks and temperament makes them an ideal subject for Sijka’s dramatic images. Photographed against a dark background, the fuzzy felines entrance you with their striking yellow eyes and serious gaze.

There’s also an undeniably mythical quality to Sijka’s images. The cats’ perfectly-coiffed fur and soft lighting ignites our imagination, and it’s easy to picture them as majestic creatures in charge of guarding an old royal court.

Robert Sijka: 500px | Flickr
via [Design You Trust]

13 Aug 06:24

skeleton-lad: mounmantaka: thecommonchick: I’M DEAD 😂 WHO...

Suko

Definitely Dad.







skeleton-lad:

mounmantaka:

thecommonchick:

I’M DEAD 😂

WHO WORE IT BETTER???

Dad, obviously. 

13 Aug 06:23

adminover20: mr-elementle: mr-elementle: broternia: i hate math tests because all throughout the...

Suko

Wait, I could get over 200,000 cupcakes for it? Hmm...

adminover20:

mr-elementle:

mr-elementle:

broternia:

i hate math tests because all throughout the chapter it’s like really easy shit and then you think you’ve got it and then the test is like 

if i throw a triangle out of a car and the car is going 20 mph and wind resistance is a thing that exists, how many cupcakes can pedro buy with one human soul 

A Human soul is worth $660,326.82 according to “The devil went down to Georgia” where the Devil offers a fiddle of gold as an equal bet against a soul.

assuming a fiddle weighs about 450 grams and is primarily made out of spruce and maple. The density of spruce is 0.43 g/cm3, and the density of maple is 0.6 g/cm3. As an estimation, we’ll just average these and suppose that the average density of the material of a violin is 0.515g/cm3. so If the Fiddle weighs 450 g and has a density of 0.515 g/cm3, that means that the volume of the wood of the Fiddle is 873.8 cm3. Our hypothetical golden prize had gold in lieu of wood. So 873.8 cm3 of gold weighs 16.9 kg — almost forty pounds! — or 543.3 troy ounces. 

Since the selling price of gold today is $1215.40 per ounce that gives us our value, but as for cupcakes it’s a little harder, most cupcakes sell for $2.50 to $4.00 at a bake shop, so let’s average that to $3.25, some simple division and we get our answer

Pedro can buy 203,177 cupcakes and have $1.56 left over.

when the fuck did i do this? i have no memory of this

What the fucking shit

11 Aug 16:25

Hearing The Call to Adventure when you’re over 40.

Suko

So good.

bluestockingt:

There’s a seriously delightful conversation in one of the LARP fb groups about adventuring over 40. Many of us aren’t 20 anymore, and it seems silly to have our characters not be our own age (or close to it). But they’re still starting characters (as it’s a new campaign), which implies they chose this path recently.

That thread is mostly joking around, but I kind of love the idea of hearing The Call when you’re not a teenager, and starting your in-game adventuring life later as some kind of mid-life crisis, religious epiphany, empty nest reaction, etc.

Which got me to some ficlets, and here’s the result.

“Well, your mother always wanted to be an adventurer - she was a hell of an archer when we were your age - but we got pregnant, and your grandmother needed some help, so we put that life off for a while. But now that you’re off at university, it seems like a good time to pick up the bow again, and go fight evil.“ 

“There was just something missing, y'know? I mean, I liked being a toymaker, but one day I realized - I really wanted to put on some plate mail, and go fight demons. So here I am, livin’ the dream." 

— 

“Sometimes, relationships don’t work out. She got the business, I get to start the life of adventure I’ve always wanted. Did you know I minored in alchemy? It’s good to get back into it again.”

“Your Aunt Maribel and I had always talked about doing this, when we were girls, but it just never seemed like the right time. But now that Uncle Haro has passed…Mari just wants to get out there and do it. I can’t let her go alone, can I? Someone has to watch her flank on the line, and remind her to keep her shield up.“

"What can I say? Sometimes you fall in love with a mage. When you do, you grab your hammer and you go where he goes. Someone has to keep cute Dukes from flirting with him. Back off, gentry! He’s all mine.”

“Kevin, you’re being ridiculous. I’m not going to fall in love with some Duke.”

“Whatever. I’m not taking any chances. It took me this long to find you, and I’m not letting you go without me.”

“I’m your Dad. If you’re going to go and fight evil, I’m going with you, ‘cause I support your choices.”

“Er…Mom’s heading off to check out some evil gate she heard about. Someone needs to go with her, ok? I squired for her last time, but I just can’t right now. It’s your turn. Make sure she does her exercises, ok? Her back is going to be horrid if she doesn’t.“

"Fine. I’ll handle the evil gate with Mom. But the next time she heads into the swamps to fight some lizard thing, you’re doing it. I freaking hate swamps.”

“His husband left him for an elf. He’s got some anger issues that he’s working through, ok? Better that he work through it on some bad guys.”

“What was that?”
“Undead again.”
“Oh, for the love of..look. They’re a freaking plague, and it’s getting worse. If we don’t want to keep dealing with this, we’re just going to have to go to the source.”
“But….the carrots…!”
“Hang the damned carrots. I’ll hire that nice boy down the street to take care of our field while we’re gone. Clean yourself up and grab your holy symbol. We’re not putting up with this for one more week.”

“Well, I always wanted to see the world. I got a small inheritance recently, and thought, why the heck not? No time like the present, right?”

“If that Sorcerer thinks he can just waltz in here and take over this town, he’s got another think coming!”
“Doris, calm down. We’ll write to the King, and…”
“I WILL NOT CALM DOWN. Sally, I swear, you drive me nuts sometimes.”
“I’m just saying - there’s diplomatic solutions to this.”
“The hell with diplomatic solutions! I WILL END HIM. ”
“Fiiiiiine. Do it your way. End him with fire.”
“Thank you!” *smooches* “Love you. Back when I’m back. He has NO IDEA who is coming for him.”

“What can I say? Adventuring pays the bills. I have a family to support, and turnip farming doesn’t make money like it used to.”

“Hey Phineas - for guys’ night, I have a thought. Rather than just going down to the pub like we usually do…I found a gate. No idea where it leads. Let’s go check it out. Could be fun, right?”
“A gate?”
“Yeah!”
“This is a terrible idea. I’m in.”

“Um….well, this is awkward. You know that Goddess who spoke to me last spring?”
“Oh yeah! Your whole conversion thing. Nice to see you found faith. It’s been good for you, I think.”
“Well, she has something she wants me to take care of.”
“What, like…a message delivered or something?”
“Noooooooo?”
“Seriously? You’re a florist. What does she want you to do?”
“Well, now when I sing, things blow up. That’s good, right?”
“This can’t end well.”

“We left for THREE WEEKS, and Barbarians razed our village. I swear, do I have to do everything myself? I JUST RE-DID THE ROOF, YOU JERKS.”

“He doesn’t think our family is good enough for him? I’ll show him who is good enough for him! My little girl is going to live in a castle, even if I have to conquer it myself!”
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.”
“We’ll see what he has to say when I walk into Summertide with a demon’s head on a spike! Who’s good enough now, you two-bit merchant?!?”

“Your Aunt recently found out that Throgg the Destroyer is that brat she couldn’t stand at the Academy. She’s not taking it well, so we’re going to be off on a trip for a while…”

“So….funny story. You know that favor I owe the Countess? From like 20 years ago? She finally called it in. She remembered that I’m really good with Ancient Runes, and apparently there’s something she needs checked out.”

“I thought you said this adventuring thing was just a hobby, Brianna. Something we did on the weekends.”
“Well, but…y'know…I really like it. I think I could be good at it. I’m getting better with the spear, you know?”
“I don’t even know you anymore!”
“Can’t you just be supportive?”
“Well, but where does it end? First hobgoblins, now orcs…what’s next?”
“I heard about this cursed tomb…”
“Absolutely not. I draw the line at tombs. NO TOMBS.”

“I told you not to date that vampire. Didn’t I tell you? I told you!”
“Let me live, Sergio.”
“Let me unlive, you mean.”
“Ok, that’s just rude.”

“Oh, sure - one good healing spell, and you think you can conquer the world.”
“I can! I have the knees of a teenager again!”

“Grandpa, you’re embarrassing me.”
“What, I can’t visit my grandson while he’s adventuring?”
“Well, I love having you here, and everyone knows you’re a good healer, but…”
“I’ll be fine. I like it here. I think I’ll stay.”

“C'mon, let’s do it. We’ve always wanted to.”
“But…we don’t know what we’re doing.”
“We do! We’ve each read The Book, what….15 times? I know you basically have it committed to memory.”
“I don’t think ‘To Catch a Rogue Lord’ was really meant as an instruction manual.”
“C'mon…how hard can it be? You’ve seen the adventurers who come through here.”
“Excellent point. I’ll get my herbs.”

“Honey? There’s a kid at the door. He says you’re the Chosen One.”
“Arrrrgh. We talked about this! Come back later!”
“He says the stars are aligned?”
“Not doing it! Tell him to go away.”
“Oh, and the seal broke. The seal broke, Stephen. It sounds important.”
“But…”
“I’ll pack you a lunch.”

“Call Sharon. She and her stupid birthmark are coming with me.”
“I thought you said that translation of the prophecy was incorrect? Something about a miss-translation of verb.”
“…well, at least if we fail, I won’t have to listen to Karl talking at Guild Meetings about how he was right.”

these are perfect and everything is perfect and nothing hurts

07 Aug 22:58

thewinterotter: petermorwood: dduane: “Little lynx kitty!...

Suko

I love the comment "If elves had cats"



thewinterotter:

petermorwood:

dduane:

“Little lynx kitty! https://t.co/poKj7DBucy”

Not a lynx, a caracal. Here’s a comparison…

The caracal’s moustache, eyebrows and ear-tips are a giveaway even from birth…

…and it looks like the ears grow before the legs…

…which soon follow…

If Elves had cats, they’d look like caracals.

I’m sorry to interrupt but that comparison picture of the caracal and lynx is clearly a wedding photo and I’d like to take a moment to wish the joyous couple every happiness.

06 Aug 10:35

Brilliant Book's Pages Are Wooden Puzzles You Have to Solve to Continue Reading

by Leah Pellegrini
Suko

OMG. O. M. G. WANT IT. I'm so sad that the Kickstarter is sold out for the full Codex. So I got one page and will ask for the upgrade to having it be a puzzle chest instead of a page.

The Codex Silenda takes two old favorite forms of entertainment and fuses them together with clever modern artistry. Created by industrial designer Brady Whitney, the wooden ware is both a book and a multi-part puzzle: readers must unlock each of its five pages to unfold a fictional tale.

The sequence comprises the fabricated backstory of the Codex, imagined to have been created by Da Vinci to protect his work from spies. When it falls into the hands of a snooping apprentice, he must solve the puzzles to protect his fate—just like the reader today. The story's significance and the step-by-step puzzle process encourage readers to engage with the Codex time and time again, but the elegant design is equally suitable for display. Its an interactive work of art with true value as the sum of its part.

To render its complex interconnected pieces with consistency, the Codex is constructed by way of laser-cutting technology, with the parts hand-fitted together. Accordingly, Whitney is able to make just 400 total Codices, and he's crowdfunding the set-up and materials. In only a matter of days, he has already quadrupled his goal. If you still want to support his inventive work—and snag one of the tricky tomes for yourself—you can contribute to the crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter.

Brady Whitney: Website
via [Gizmodo]

All images via Brady Whitney/The Codex Silenda.