Not so interested in the photos necessarily (though the fire one is beautiful) but the processing and image recognition behind this is so cool.
Cinemagraphs have the power to transform any previously-still photograph into a compelling and dramatic scene. The subtle looped movements are undoubtedly dynamic, and it’s no wonder that their popularity has skyrocketed throughout the years. For those who want to create their own Cinemagraph, there’s now a program whose sole focus is this type of photographic technique. Called Plotagraph Pro, it takes any still image, animates it, and saves it as a looping GIF or video file. Best of all, it can do this from just one photo, so there’s no need to shoot multiple frames or upload a video.
Photographer and artist Troy Plota is the brainchild behind this incredible web-based software, and it markets itself as a simpler alternative to the Cinemagraph process. “Cinemagraphs originate from video footage and requires specific video production which adds considerably to the costs. This also greatly limits the amount of available footage,” he explains. “Plotagraphs are free from the constraints of video which makes billions of images available to bring to life at a fraction of the price of any other process.”
Plotagraph Pro uses imaging algorithms to bring the photo to life. The way it works is that you mask over a stationary object on the picture and then add animation points. Shifting these makers—which also have customization options—will tell the program how they should move when exported.
The software is now being used by big brands such as Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and Airbnb, and it's recently been made available for individuals through a pre-launch special. To demonstrate Plotagraph Pro's capabilities, photographer Trey Ratcliff has released a behind the scenes video of his process. Check it out, below.
BB-8 Quilt Approx 18″ x 12″ (smol quilt for a smol droid) ~6 hours of drunken sewing 2nd quilt in my Star Wars quilt series
Finished BB-8 quilt plus some progress pics!
Can’t believe I didn’t post these here forever ago! I got drunk and quilted this little guy one night back in May when I was mad at work. All fabrics from a scrap bin, used an image of bb-8 as a template for piecing together the droid, and the I freehanded the background. The goal was to make it look like the dunes of Tattooine behind this little guy with a feeling of motion, like BB-8 was rushing to an adventure! I think I did a pretty good job =)
“I got drunk and quilted BB-8 one night back in May when I was mad” is a sublimely absurd statement and I love everything about this whole post.
For most of us, the subway is a mundane milieu, a tedious transit network that’s underground and overlooked. Photographer Chris Forsyth, however, finds fascination in the winding underpasses and platforms that comprise the modern-day city dweller’s daily commute, using his lens to capture fresh perspectives of international public transport systems that appear surprisingly like futuristic fantasies.
His artistic undertaking, dubbed The Metro Project, started in October 2014 as a school assignment in Montreal. As Forsyth began exploring the trains and tunnels beneath his Canadian home base, he found intriguing inspiration in the aesthetic diversity from one stop to the next. Each of Montreal’s stations is built by a different architect, he explains, so no two are the same. He ultimately decided to explore the subway systems in other cities, too, and took to Berlin, Munich, Stockholm, Prague, and Hamburg with his camera.
Most of his images are devoid of human subjects, instead highlighting the bold artistry, blunt lighting, and bright colors of the architecture. The vibrant and graphic compositions uphold his ultimate goal, as he describes: “I hope to show how beautiful these public spaces can be. Traveling through these stations day in and day out can become very monotonous. Looking ahead, or down at our phones, we can easily take for granted all of the gorgeous architecture, art and design around us.” Thus far, his appreciation for the oft-neglected subterranean transit systems has earned him a 2015 International Photographer of the Year award.
You can take a look at some of the top shots below. He also encourages the rest of us to share our own captures of our everyday travels—in fact, he’s even started an Instagram hashtag, #themetroproject, as a burgeoning collaborative collection for photographers, architecture admirers, and metro fanatics all around the world.
Dutch artist Rosa de Jong constructs worlds inside slender glass test tubes—each complete with micro-sized buildings, teeny tiny trees, and other structures inhabitable by nothing larger than an ant. Comparable to a ship in a bottle, the little houses are made of cardboard while the test tube's environment is made of objects de Jong finds outdoors—sticks brought in by her cat, sand from the Monument Valley, and rocks from the campsites of the Caribbean island of Curacao. At a glance, de Jong's utilization of suspension plays with gravity, so objects appear to float in air effortlessly, growing both upward and downward simultaneously. Her series, titled Micro Matter, considers how small the land we call home really is in comparison to the entire world.
Each test tube takes less than a day to complete. In an interview with CityLab, de Jong confesses that she really just wings it. "Nothing is planned. I just look at it while working on it, put it in a tube, see how it looks, maybe change something." Each piece, she adds, inspires the next. Until she gets bored of this project and must explore in a new direction, de Jong says in her artist's statement, "I still feel like there are many worlds to create."
De Jong is currently in the process of setting up a web shop. At the moment, you can sign up to get an update about when the shop is officially up.
do you want to know something?? I always wondered what the hell kind of hairstyle the Ancient Egyptians were trying to portray with depictions like these
and this
until I did my hair this morning and
oh
welp
you can take the noses off our statues but until you find a way to take Egypt out of Africa we’re still going to find ourselves
I’m reblogging this post without all the salty, racist commentary because I’m sick of looking at it. please spread this around again in its pure form for posterity.
What’s funny is that white people thought they were hats/crowns 😂
And here’s some pictures of the Afar people, who still live on the horn of Africa today.
Cool, huh?
Beautiful
People thought it was Hats and Crowns? How could they not see hair?
The same reason archaeologists, upon finding a woman’s skeleton in the grave of a famous Roman gladiator, immediately wondered where the gladiator’s skeleton was: Old Straight White Man™ brand denial.
Being unconditionally polite, kind, and compassionate in a society that values and finds “deeper meaning” in aloofness and cynicism is subversive and thus punk
These Indian Muslim schoolgirls, all aged between 10 and 16 years old, are performing Vovinam, a Vietnamese martial art, at the Saint Maaz High School in Hyderabad. Encouraged by their parents and school officials, they are learning the art of self defense on a weekly basis.
a tiny girl punching a table which is also on fire is on my dash today
And this is why I will never be an Assassins Creed assassin or ninja. No high places for me, thanks! But I love the commentary and now have resolved that when I go to a convention I will try to spot the assassins.
And the award for the most in character cosplay goes to…
LISTEN ASSASSINS CREED COSPLAYERS ARE FUCKING HARDCORE
WHENEVER I GO TO ANY CONVENTION ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IN EITHER FULL OR ALMOST FULL COSTUME LITERALLY GO SCALE WALLS AND SIT IN RIDICULOUSLY HIGH PLACES
THE LAST TIME I WENT TO A CON A GUY IN FULL EZIO COSPLAY CLIMBED ON TOP OF A GODDAMN BUILDING WITH NO LADDERS NO ROPES NO NOTHING EXCEPT HIS BARE HANDS AND BALLS OF FUCKING DIAMOND
written by Dennis Liu, illustrated by Jason Piperberg
PREMISE: Nicole,
raises her 7 year old son, Dion, who has superpowers. Life was hard
enough keeping up with the bills, let alone trying to keep track of her
son’s invisibility, plasma powers, and telekinesis. In order to study
his progress, Nicole films her son 24/7 with the help of her friend,
Pat, who is an aspiring filmmaker. But when Nicole starts to notice
mysterious men tailing her, and with Dion’s developing abilities
constantly changing and becoming more powerful, she must find the
courage deep within herself that she can raise Dion on her own.
Indyplanet:
$0.00 Digital Download $4.00 Print-on-Demand
This is one of the coolest most original ideas I’ve seen in a long time!
When the pediatric patients on the sixth floor of the Memorial Children's Hospital in South Bend, Indiana would look out their windows, all they could see was the wooden skeleton of the construction site across the street. Thanks to the creativity and selflessness of Jason Haney, a worker on the current expansion of the hospital, the children now have a fun and exciting mission when they look out the windows of their room: find Waldo.
Haney is no stranger to the hardship that comes with a child being bedridden in a hospital. Many years ago, his own daughter needed extended care from another children's hospital after she suffered from a stroke at age three. He says the idea for Waldo just came to him as a way to cheer up the children during a time of pain or sadness. "I just want to make kids smile and make them feel better," Haney said to CNN. With the help of his daughter, Haney created an 8-foot-tall wooden cut-out of the beloved candy-striped children's book character. Of his Waldo creation, Haney says in an interview with the Huffington Post, “He’s 50, 60 pounds and he’s awkward to carry. But it’s worth it for the kids." Each day, he nestles Waldo into a new spot of the construction site—within perfect eyeshot of the hospital's sixth floor residents. The hospital even has a Facebook page for children to post to when they've found Waldo.
This daily hide-and-seek ritual has become more than just a silly game for the children to play, though. It's become a beacon of hope that there's life outside of the hospital. Waldo has become a welcome distraction from treatments and appointments. It's something that families can do together. According to CNN affiliate WSBT, a patient's mother said of Haney's Waldo project: "When [my daughter] woke up in the morning she said, 'Where's Waldo? Where's Waldo?' That helped a lot. Just knowing that she was more focused on that than focused on treatments." The patients themselves think that Haney is a superstar. They call him "the man who built Waldo" and send him special messages, like this one by patient Nevaeh: "Thank you for building Waldo and for being happy. Thank you for making me happy."
Haney is planning even more happiness for the future of Memorial Children's Hospital. Rumor has it—Minions may be involved!
1. Lots of very important POC, and they have key roles. Don’t be fooled by the white male hero, it’s not what you think it is.
2. A teenage asian girl who is not over sexualized. Not a single woman is over sexualized actually, even those who could have been due to circumstances.
3. The most important female protagonist is a middle-aged fat black woman –the second is the Asian girl. Not some Hollywood-like amazon fighting half-naked. Actually the only person fighting half-naked is a boy.
4. Chris Evans finally has a real chance to act –not in a “makes you laugh and cry” kinda way, but in a “makes you wanna throw up and disappear from the surface of Earth” kinda way. You liked him in Puncture, The Iceman or Sunshine? You haven’t seen anything yet, babies.
5. It’s a movie that doesn’t treat you like you’re dumb. It will make you think, and reflect on your world. So you like to read and write metas on how your two favorite characters looked at each other for two seconds? Watch Snowpiercer and you’ll have SO MUCH to think about!
6. Bong Joon-Ho, one of the best directors of all time -with only 5 films he’s received more than 20 awards around the world-, has been refusing for more than 7 months to let Weinstein cut his movie for American audience. He sticks to his idea, even if it means losing money he doesn’t want his movie to be mutilated to fit Hollywood’s standards. That’s freaking integrity!
8. It is NOT The Hunger Games on a train. Noseriouslyitsnotstopthat! Hunger Games is a great trilogy, yes, but if you want a dystopia that challenges the way you see the world, Snowpiercer is for you.
9. It’s a fucking beautiful metaphor, and it’s a much more powerful one than a guy pretending to smoke in front of a lung cancer patient to hit on her.
10. When the movie leaked online, a lot of Americans proved that Weinstein was right when he said the movie should be cut because US audience wouldn’t understand it. Come on, doesn’t it make you want to see it now?
11. You know these movies that we call “emotional rollercoasters”? If Snowpiercer were one, it would be this ride.
12. Because if you only watch it on TV, you’ll be disappointed to have missed this intensity on big screen. It’s a surreal trip you’d better try to enjoy fully.
13. It took Bong Joon-Ho a whole year to develop the story, and that’s how you make original movies. Not by producing yet another remake from a 80’s/90’s movie, I’m talking to you Hollywood.
Life is full of surprises, and some of the best come from the people we’ve known all our lives—the ones that we thought we had completely figured out. In 2014, artist Tony Luciani’s mother was 91 years old and unable to care for herself, leaving him the responsibility. “Mom doesn’t cook or clean anymore, so I’m the full-time caregiver” Luciani explained to Feature Shoot, who watched his aging parent develop onset dementia while recovering from a broken hip. Despite these health setbacks, the two have thrived and collaborated on a series of playful photographs.
Luciani, a painter, bought his first camera around the time his mother came into his home. He saw the device as a mechanism for helping her feel more productive and at ease in her new living space. They started small—Luciani showed his mom drawings and encouraged her to act out what she saw. This make-believe exercise evolved into unprompted posing, showcasing a fusion of both imagination and memory. “The subsequent sessions,” Luciani explained, “began to get more complex as my ideas developed. Her recollections and her feelings became a beautiful story to tell.”
The mother-son collaboration is best exemplified through the series The Strange Ones, although they’ve worked on other projects, too. The Strange Ones features Luciani’s mom acting like a lamp, putting her head through various paintings, and jumping off the pages of a book. It’s a surreal, whimsical representation of how we see ourselves as we age, especially when it’s coupled with significant memory loss. The act of creation has also had profound effects on Luciani’s mother’s well-being. “I noticed how alive she felt by participating,” he said, “her youthfulness and eccentricity started to show through.”
So true! Also works for restaurant websites. I just want to know when you are open! I don't care that you have a poignant backstory for the name of your restaurant. At least, not right now.
I told this story to a few guildies a while back and decided to archive it in a longer format; so here is the story of The Great Flamingo Uprising of 2010 as told to me by my favorite cousin who was a keeper at the time.
In addition to the aviary/jungle exhibit, our zoo has several species of birds that pretty much have the run of the place. They started with a small flock of flamingos and some free-range peacocks that I’m almost certain came from my old piano teacher’s farm. She preferred them to chickens. At some point in time they also acquired a pair of white swans (Or as I call them, “hellbirds”) and some ornamental asian duckies to decorate the pond next to the picnic area. Pigeons, crows, assorted ducks and a large number of opportunistic Canada geese moved in on their own.
Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property (I don’t remember how many there are but the one by the picnic area is the only one with swans) were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long. Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets. I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate.
Like this.^ And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food. The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway. They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change. Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face. It’s traumatizing to you and deeply hilarious to your parents.
Anyway.
The flamingos had their spot near the zoo entrance and never seemed to mind the presence of the other birds, as they kept themselves to themselves and didn’t really like the taste of fish pellets. The problem lay in that their shrimp pond was close to a vending machine. Ordinarily that wouldn’t have been an issue at all, but eventually the goose population grew large enough that one of the gangs decided to annex it. Being territorial little shits, they would harass the poor flamingos any time they strayed within ten feet of it. The flamingos tolerated this for years until one day they snapped collectively. Here’s a summary of the incident in chronological order.
1.) It was a hot day, so everyone in question both human and avian, were cranky by the time the zoo even opened. 2.) A few flamingos (let’s call them The Jets) strayed into the radius of the vending machine and were immediately confronted by the indignant hissing geese (The Sharks) 3.) Possibly due to heat and the simple fact that the geese had been giant douchebags for far too long, the flamingos decided fuck it, this time they were going to FIGHT BACK DAMMIT, and swarmed the geese en mass. 4.) Chaos ensued. The geese were outnumbered 4 to 1 but had the advantage of being able to scream for back-up. 5.) Hearing the shrieking Canada geese and the bellowing of the enraged flamingos, the peacocks came to the conclusion that the apocalypse had come upon them and began to gather in the surrounding trees in droves and wail in despair. Or cheer them on, whichever. 6.) NOISE 7.) Apparently one of the siege tactics employed by the geese is to shit explosively all over the sidewalks. Never in the grass. 8.) The geese, having secured reinforcements from all over the zoo, went berserk and proceeded to attack EVERYBODY who had come to watch be they human or otherwise. 9.) The flamingos were chasing/being chased by the geese through the crowd accompanied by cheers/wails from the peacocks in the box seats. 10.) Complete pandemonium when the zoo tram became stalled on the tracks by the flamingo pond due to battling birds. The Jets, sensing these were somehow reinforcements on the side of the Sharks, charged the tram. Adults were doing the duck and cover. So were the ducks. Small children were screaming, adding to the noise. People were slipping on goose shit and hitting the ground in the fetal position, only to be stampeded by the rampaging flamingos. 11.) The koi continued to bloop hopefully for food. 12.) Two of the geese were cornered by a rival gang of their own and were chased into the swan pond. Cue slow-motion. 13.) The swans detected an enemy presence in their territory and by god, SOMEBODY was going to PAY. 14.) The staff were having no luck in breaking up the fight and on the verge of giving up and just building another zoo elsewhere when the hellbirds stormed the battlefield, trumpeting battle-cries, to dispense feathered justice. The staff promptly dropped their brooms and fled. 15.) The uprising was squashed in less than two minutes. Number of casualties was unknown, feathers were flying everywhere and there was enough goose shit to build another bird. One staff member had been knocked to the ground and was left with a melon sized bruise courtesy of one of the hellbirds. Several children were traumatized, probably for life. The zoo eventually removed the vending machine by the flamingos.
The geese went back to being giant douchebags. Because geese.
there is something very toxic in the idea that apologizing is weak; there is something very ugly in the fact we teach women to say “sorry” before speaking but we teach men that “sorry” can never leave their lips. there is something very very rancid here, a rotting thing that doesn’t allow men to forgive others and themselves for a wrong behavior, instead forcing them to wade in guilt and distance themselves for past mistakes rather than talking it out. in the fact women are expected to apologize for existing.
in the fact people don’t know when to say “i’m sorry, i was wrong.” to step down from the fight. when enough is enough. i know so many parents who have never once apologized to their children, no matter the argument. no matter what was said. i know so many children who are permanently marked by this, because even though eventually the air cleared, the wound was never stitched. i know teachers who don’t know how to admit they did something wrong, that they made a mistake; who punish their students for bringing it up. i know plenty of people in the media’s eye who are unwilling to thoughtfully and genuinely apologize, instead sticking to defensive insults to protect themselves. how many families are permanently broken because someone can’t pick up the phone and say “sorry”? how many relationships have been torn apart, how many friendships have been wounded. we are not taught how to deliver an apology that matters, either. so many people try to say “sorry” and find themselves hurt because the other person doesn’t forgive them. so many people say “sorry” and somehow end up using it as a way to excuse and justify their behavior rather than as a way to try and heal the other person.
it is okay you had a bad day. it is okay to say, “i had a bad day, I’m sorry i yelled.” what you say after that is more important. i know so many people who stop there, who say, “besides, you were being annoying,” who make it worse. just keep going. “that was wrong of me. i didn’t mean what i said, i don’t feel that way. are you okay?” and then let them talk. they might still be angry. it’s okay. people don’t need to forgive you right away.
apologizing doesn’t make you seem weak. it is not “powerless.” admitting you were wrong is something very brave to do. it is swallowing your pride. i know often there’s a lot of really sad discussions that happen after an argument has worn down and you’ve apologized - discussions maybe you’re not ready to have. that’s what makes saying sorry so important: you show your jugular vein.
Miscellaneous Clark Kent headcanons as relate to my little fic universe, that may or may not ever come up because who knows:
Little Clark was really susceptible to childhood superstitions for some reason. He didn’t go under ladders, he did the salt over the shoulder thing, he did not fuck with that Bloody Mary shit like NOPE I’M OUT THIS SLUMBER PARTY IS CANCELED, LANA GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND TAKE YOUR MURDER GHOSTS WITH YOU. He believes that he is over this as an adult but whenever his foot is about to fall on a crack in the sidewalk it actually stops like a half inch above the ground and hovers there. He does not notice he is doing this. No one notices, ever, because it is the weirdest subtle unconscious thing in the world. At least Martha’s back is safe?
I covered the picky eater thing in Christmas in Kansas but to be more specific his tastebuds are just really sensitive to certain chemical compounds? Not just in terms of things he won’t eat but also in terms of things that he expects to be there and he doesn’t really like foods that lack those things. Your two options to make him eat anything are to cover it in sugar, or cover it in garlic.
He goes through a lot of breathmints. Can you imagine if Superman saved someone and they were like “man i appreciate being alive but he had some really bad garlic breath”? He would be so horrified.
He has a ratty, fucked-up old shirt that he wears whenever he is making pasta with red sauce. Even Superman cannot stand against the ability of red sauce to end up on whatever you happen to be wearing. HE WAS SO CAREFUL THIS TIME, HOW DID A STAIN END UP ON HIS BACK THAT JUST MAKES NO SENSE. Clark Kent’s weaknesses: kryptonite, tomato stains.
His ability to perfectly imitate anyone’s voice was one of the first things to manifest themselves, but this wasn’t the kind of thing anyone noticed was weird. It definitely didn’t seem like a power. He was just a small child who could do a really good Kermit the Frog. He sang Rainbow Connection at a middle school talent show and all the moms cried.
He definitely has a playlist to cheer himself up and get pumped and it has Eye of the Tiger and You’re the Best on it. Probably also half the Top Gun soundtrack.
Clark Kent’s twitter is pretty standard snarky newsman except with more farming memes. No one can tell how ironic the farming memes are. They might not be ironic at all. Clark Kent might be really sincere, or he might just be so ironic that he has circled back around into sincerity. No one knows. He’s also really good at that thing where you retweet two things from a person that side-by-side reveal they are a dingus. I don’t know if there’s a word for that.
His Snapchat is all dogspotting, with occasional rare dance breaks. He’s a pretty good dancer since he found those YouTube tutorials. He does this thing with his hips that Lois finds deeply upsetting for reasons she cannot articulate.
Jimmy asked Clark how he got so fit once and Clark was like “uh, farming. farm. eyup.” But he kept pressing for deets and Clark ended up just telling him that he’d pulled a Milo of Croton??? He lifted a newborn calf over his head and then just did that every single day until he was lifting a cow over his head. Jimmy knows nothing about farming or cows or physical fitness and this seemed plausible enough to him.
He has a blog where he posts rejected articles and it is the wonkiest thing in the entire world because that is why they got rejected. Perry takes one look at these articles and is like “it will take more words than I want to pay you for just to explain the setup for this article and also there are five people total who care, in the world, including you”
He has to be really careful when he buys clothes because he needs to make sure that they aren’t too tight and he has full range of motion. He does not want to relive The Skinny Jeans Incident. Shirts that say ‘I flexed and the sleeves fell off’ are only funny until it happens to you, then they are just horrible reminders. Popped seams everywhere. There is no way to explain that without looking like a huge tool.
Even when Superman has a really shitty day he keeps it together until he gets home, but then he shuts the balcony door and peels off his costume and Clark does the Tina Belcher groan for like ten minutes while he takes a shower because he got covered in sewer mutant or space crab or god knows and UUUUUUUUUUGH. Fortunately the nice older lady in the apartment next door always seems to know when he has had a shitty day and she brings him pie.
She can hear his melodramatic bullshit from over at her place, that’s how she knows. They share a bathroom wall and it practically echoes. If she times it right he will answer the door before he has put a shirt on because he doesn’t want to leave her waiting in the hall. She does not know what his day job is and it definitely does not occur to her that he is Superman because her primary interaction with him is that he acts like a whiny bitch and she brings him pie so she can ogle him. She is a simple woman who enjoys life’s simple pleasures.
The Kryptonian language is really complicated in terms of tonality, context, word order, musicality, etc, and the written language reflects that. Things like the order things are in, how things overlap, colors, etc, are all important. So basically I really like the idea of his symbol being one that represents his family name and says that he is of the House of El. It’s really just basically his last name.
If Starfleet gets to have replicators then Krypton gets to have replicators and Jor-El definitely stuck one in the ship so his son would have, you know, food and clothing. But only Kryptonians can use their tech because they’re who the neural interface is designed for so whoops they got real lucky that Kryptonian babies love milk from Earth goats. Clark only started using the replicator later but it only knows how to make Kryptonian things and only some of those are useful to him.
Okay so here is where I tie those last two bullet points into something fucking dumb that you will take out of my cold dead hands: Clark got the costume out of the replicator. It didn’t necessarily understand what he wanted though? Like, the concept of a costume didn’t really translate, but it got the idea that he wanted an active uniform, so that is what it made. It’s brightly colored and has his last name on the front. Clark is wearing a Kryptonian football jersey is what I’m getting at. Later Kara will be VERY confused by this. Imagine ending up on an alien planet and meeting your cousin and he’s been fighting crime dressed like a quarterback.
Most telepathy does not work because different neural patterns. Diana can only manage it if she uses her lariat and even then it’s like trying to lasso a freight train that does not stop. It’s extremely disorienting. J'onn has just accepted that Superman can hear him but he’s not going to get anything back. It’s like the psychic equivalent of a dial tone for him. He’s trying to call his bro but their family has dialup. He tries not to fuck with it because he doesn’t want to poke around in Superman’s head blind and break something.
Clark can’t type with super speed because he’ll break the keyboard and the computer can’t keep up. Instead he uses shorthand along with a custom set of AutoHotKey macros and it is honestly infuriating how fast he can get things written with this setup. But also if he doesn’t have AutoHotKey on whatever he’s typing with then sometimes Lois will get an email like: ll] dyk f pw mde a dec wrt t $l stry? ]ck
A woman was told by her therapist to try talking to at least one person once a week but she decided to cheat by just talking to her empty apartment under the guise of telling Superman about her day because lol he can hear everything allegedly so this definitely counts and is what the doctor was going for with this. When she has to go to the hospital for a medical emergency she comes home and there is a note on her counter wherein Superman explains that he was worried because he hadn’t heard from her in a while, so he swung by to check on her. When he found out what happened he watered her plants and fed her goldfish and also that cat that he thought might be hers (she does not have a cat). She is completely mortified because she was just being full of shit she did not actually believe he could hear her oh god what all did she even say and whose cat is this???
Look if you are in Metropolis and you loudly say HEY SUPERMAN there is a very good chance he will hear it even if he doesn’t mean to. He is not trying to eavesdrop, that’s just what happens when you yell someone’s name in earshot.
He doesn’t wear the costume under his clothes because you may have noticed a running theme here where the universe is conspiring to ruin his clothes and leave him running around shirtless all the time. I mean thank god for the rest of us but he would rather not risk someone spilling their drink all over him somehow and suddenly his shirt is transparent and you can see the big S. It’s bad enough when it happens under ordinary circumstances. How often can one man get drinks spilled all over him? You would be shocked. Shocked. His eyes are up here, Lois.
I might become a breakfast person for breakfasts like this...
When we first met food photographer Michael Zee in 2014, he explained that the exquisite meals he cooks each morning for himself and his boyfriend, Mark, are an act of devotion. "People wonder if I’m crazy or obsessive," he said, "but it is a declaration of love, really. I'm dedicated—both to breakfast and to Mark." It seems that his commitment hasn't waned: several years later, he continues to begin each day by preparing symmetrical, side-by-side platefuls of lavish food. Each duo of mouthwatering meals is served at the home the twosome share, while also offering a visual treat for admiring Instagram followers—nearly 600k of them.
Every photo takes a familiar form, always shot from above with one plate mirroring the other, often paired with parallel cups of juice or mugs of coffee. However, though the arrangement of the dishes is straightforward and consistent, the breakfasts themselves are wildly inventive. Zee experiments with unexpected concoctions both sweet and savory, inspired by staples from all around the globe. One morning, the twosome are slicing into sumptuous banana split waffles, and the next, they're noshing on elegant asparagus with perfectly poached eggs. The orderly balance in the photo styling elicits a soothing sense of calm, while the vibrant and diverse food sparks intrigue (and, oftentimes, salivation)—the perfect recipe for a nourishing feast for the eyes.
In August, Zee will release a cookbook brimming with inspiration for others with a taste for both good food and aesthetics. Perhaps the pages might inspire the rest of us to show love for our partners via extra time at the stovetop each morning, or at least rouse us to reconsider a broader expanse of options for our first meal of the day.
Above: "A homemade rainbow fruit tart with puff pastry, crème pâtissière"
"Galette de Sarrasin with egg, smoked salmon and avocado"
"Cassava Porridge with fruit, cinnamon, tea and juice. Eaten all over the world in particular West and Central Africa (Cassava, also known as yuca, manioc or tapioca looks a bit like a potato and is full of nutrients. Some care is needed in preparing and cooking to avoid the risk of poisoning yourself!"
"Nutty Slack, the greatest granola in the world, with yoghurt, fruit and a cup of Emperor's Breakfast tea."
"An Ulster Fry! Homemade potato farls and soda bread, sausage and bacon from @gingerpigltd, roast cherry toms, black pudding (a type of Blood Sausage) egg, beans on the side (a contentious issue with all cooked breakfasts, I'd like to hear your thoughts) and a cup of tea"
"Pressure Cooker Coconut Rice with mango, raspberry and fresh Moroccan mint from the garden"
"Apple and custard rose tarts with some fresh fruit and a little cortado coffee"
"Fairy bread - multicolored sprinkles on buttered bread (although traditionally it's margarine) with the crusts cut off"
"Homemade black sesame steam buns filled with crème pâtissière and a cup of wild South African rooibos tea"
"Scotch Woodcock - a Victorian after dinner classic of scrambled eggs with salty anchovies and toast"
"Melon bowl with seeds and beetroot coconut yoghurt (two beets and yoghurt in a blender!), blueberries, dragonfruit, passion fruit, tea and carrot juice"
"Chorizo and egg tacos with fresh red cabbage, radish, rocket and a side of sour cream and hot hot hot sauce"
"Carrot Cake Pancakes with a coconut and cardamom creme, pomegranate jewels, pistachio and a cup of tea"
"Jalapeño corn fritters with avocado, tomato salsa and yoghurt"
"Breakfast in Monaco a lunettes a la fraise and a chocolate sablé with a macchiato"
"Matcha Crêpes with strawberries and Jersey salted caramel sauce"
"Zhoug eggs baked into a petit baguette, smoked salmon, capers, rocket and a cup of Cloud Tea"
"Truffle asparagus with breadcrumbed egg, sesame, shavings of Comté cheese and a cup of tea""Banana Split Waffles with my Achilles heel, squirty cream from a can…Roasted banana cooked into the waffle batter and of course a cherry to top it off"
"Firni, a traditional ground rice dessert from Pakistan and India and Iran and one of my favourites and wonderfully comforting. Served cold and topped with pistachio, mine is flavoured with kewra (pandan). With some glazed flat white peaches on the side and an espresso."
"Rose harissa chickpeas with egg, mint labneh a side of pomegranate seeds and a cup of tea"
"Tartines aux lardon et au Comté with an egg"
"Huevos Divorciados or Divorced Eggs from Mexico...Two eggs, one with salsa roja, the other with salsa verde made with tomatillo. The wall of refried beans separates the two from touching."
"Bacon, Fig and Honey Cornbread with a side of Greek yoghurt, beetroot powder…and a cafe latte"
"Waffles filled with egg, cheese and ham…little a pot of Tonkatsu sauce to dip, a raspberry, carrot and banana smoothie and a cup of English Breakfast Tea"
"Pão de Queijo Waffles, sliced avocado, fried cherry toms, Burford Brown egg, juicy juice and a cafe latte"
"A continental breakfast with butter from Ireland, cheese from The Netherlands and France, salami from Italy, ham from Poland, grapes from Spain and strawberries from the UK"
I think they are, although they do have a morbid sense of humor. The yarns are for sale at the Etsy store Dye for Yarn, a shop owned by Nicole and Cordula, both German scientists who hand-dye lightweight natural yarns. Other colors are named Poisoned by Love, Face of Fear, Fury in the Slaughterhouse, Giant Clam Closing Forever, and quite a few others. They are beautiful colors.
Photo credit: Trey Ratcliff
Photo credit: Troy Plota
Photo credit: Trey Ratcliff
Photo credit: Trey Ratcliff
Photo credit: John P. Hoke
"Galette de Sarrasin with egg, smoked salmon and avocado"
"Cassava Porridge with fruit, cinnamon, tea and juice. Eaten all over the world in particular West and Central Africa (Cassava, also known as yuca, manioc or tapioca looks a bit like a potato and is full of nutrients. Some care is needed in preparing and cooking to avoid the risk of poisoning yourself!"
"Nutty Slack, the greatest granola in the world, with yoghurt, fruit and a cup of Emperor's Breakfast tea."
"An Ulster Fry! Homemade potato farls and soda bread, sausage and bacon from @gingerpigltd, roast cherry toms, black pudding (a type of Blood Sausage) egg, beans on the side (a contentious issue with all cooked breakfasts, I'd like to hear your thoughts) and a cup of tea"
"Pressure Cooker Coconut Rice with mango, raspberry and fresh Moroccan mint from the garden"
"Apple and custard rose tarts with some fresh fruit and a little cortado coffee"
"Fairy bread - multicolored sprinkles on buttered bread (although traditionally it's margarine) with the crusts cut off"
"Homemade black sesame steam buns filled with crème pâtissière and a cup of wild South African rooibos tea"
"Scotch Woodcock - a Victorian after dinner classic of scrambled eggs with salty anchovies and toast"
"Melon bowl with seeds and beetroot coconut yoghurt (two beets and yoghurt in a blender!), blueberries, dragonfruit, passion fruit, tea and carrot juice"
"Chorizo and egg tacos with fresh red cabbage, radish, rocket and a side of sour cream and hot hot hot sauce"
"Carrot Cake Pancakes with a coconut and cardamom creme, pomegranate jewels, pistachio and a cup of tea"
"Jalapeño corn fritters with avocado, tomato salsa and yoghurt"
"Breakfast in Monaco a lunettes a la fraise and a chocolate sablé with a macchiato"
"Matcha Crêpes with strawberries and Jersey salted caramel sauce"
"Zhoug eggs baked into a petit baguette, smoked salmon, capers, rocket and a cup of Cloud Tea"
"Truffle asparagus with breadcrumbed egg, sesame, shavings of Comté cheese and a cup of tea""Banana Split Waffles with my Achilles heel, squirty cream from a can…Roasted banana cooked into the waffle batter and of course a cherry to top it off"
"Firni, a traditional ground rice dessert from Pakistan and India and Iran and one of my favourites and wonderfully comforting. Served cold and topped with pistachio, mine is flavoured with kewra (pandan). With some glazed flat white peaches on the side and an espresso."
"Rose harissa chickpeas with egg, mint labneh a side of pomegranate seeds and a cup of tea"
"Tartines aux lardon et au Comté with an egg"
"Huevos Divorciados or Divorced Eggs from Mexico...Two eggs, one with salsa roja, the other with salsa verde made with tomatillo. The wall of refried beans separates the two from touching."
"Bacon, Fig and Honey Cornbread with a side of Greek yoghurt, beetroot powder…and a cafe latte"
"Waffles filled with egg, cheese and ham…little a pot of Tonkatsu sauce to dip, a raspberry, carrot and banana smoothie and a cup of English Breakfast Tea"
"Pão de Queijo Waffles, sliced avocado, fried cherry toms, Burford Brown egg, juicy juice and a cafe latte"
"A continental breakfast with butter from Ireland, cheese from The Netherlands and France, salami from Italy, ham from Poland, grapes from Spain and strawberries from the UK"