firehose

 

This lady is such a bad ass that I’m jealous that she isn’t my Grandmother. If this is your Grandmother… I envy you.

Mercenary Kings from Tribute Games is available now through Steam's Early Access program. The game will be regularly priced at $20 when it officially launches, but is currently $15 during this audition period. The co-op shooter is also available in a four-pack for $44.99.

What's the difference between Mercenary Kings now and its final, killer state?

"It currently has 60 missions whereas the completed version of the game will have over 100," notes Tribute. "This version of the game still needs your feedback to get it in the best possible shape and it's why we are releasing it now!"

The game is also planning contracts with (as far as we know) Ouya and PlayStation 4 sometime after PC. Tribute Games was founded by the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World vets that went on to make Wizorb.

Mercenary Kings up on Steam early access originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 22 Jul 2013 19:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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$0.99 buys you "beautiful 360-degree high-resolution rotations of over 300 animal skulls." Here's a chameleon skull. Don't miss the two-headed cow skull. Skulls by Simon Winchester

I ran into Kelly Link yesterday at San Diego Comic-Con and she was carrying this amazing rubber-chicken purse. It was beautifully painted, beautifully made, and looked almost exactly like she was keeping her stuff in a chicken. With handles. They're $30 and they are, well, wow.

Rubber Chicken Hen Tote Bag Handbag Purse Pocketbook "Henbag"

briain:

(via Before the ‘Carmageddon’: A Photographic Look at the Construction of 5 SoCal Freeways | LA as Subject | SoCal Focus | KCET)

Go team Honey Badger! According to Honey Badgers & Cobras: Women’s Arm Wrestling for Charity, "If you’re tall and tough you’re a Cobra, and if you’re small and mighty, a Honey Badger." I am clearly in the latter (victorious) camp, but if you'd like to challenge me, here's your chance. The Warrior Room is probably the most fun-loving gym experience I have ever had. Heavy on kettlebells, Tabata, and interval training, its classes are taught by hilarious brother-sister team Luke and Ashley Jensen, who preach the virtues of a work hard, play hard lifestyle: They'll give you a kickass workout, and then high five you over beers—like, they actually have a beer tap at the gym.

They also make a point of keeping their classes affordable (depending on which package you sign up for it breaks down to around $8-10/class), and the formula has paid off. When I first visited they were working out of a residential garage, and they've since graduated to a spacious gym in downtown Milwaukie with a lounge (beer) area and separated office space. They're putting their good attitudes to work September 14 with Honey Badgers & Cobras: Women’s Arm Wrestling for Charity, a competition benefiting Northwest Housing Alternatives. For the month of August they're offering a "Super Sexy Arm" class that specifically targets your arm wrestling muscles, and even includes the occasional bout. Looky-loos are welcome to attend, but with a $15 entry fee, you may as well go up to bat.

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The US Department of Homeland Security is warning its employees that they can be punished for opening up this Washington Post article, which includes a classified slide (above) illustrating how the National Security Agency spies on communications:

An internal memo from DHS headquarters told workers on Friday that viewing the document from an “unclassified government workstation” could lead to administrative or legal action. “You may be violating your non-disclosure agreement in which you sign that you will protect classified national security information,” the communication said.

The memo said workers who view the article through an unclassified workstation should report the incident as a “classified data spillage.”

"DHS warns employees not to read leaked NSA information." [Washington Post]

George Zimmerman, who has been in hiding since he was acquitted of murder in the death of Trayvon Martin, emerged to help rescue someone who was trapped in an overturned truck, police said today. Sanford Police Department Capt. Jim McAuliffe told ABC News that Zimmerman "pulled an individual from a truck that had rolled over" at the intersection of a Florida highway last week. The crash occurred at the intersection of I-4 and route 417, police said. The crash site is less than a mile from where he shot Martin.

	Courtney shared this story from ~(*cute erotic hell*)~:
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maxistentialist:

booty-creed:

get real with jesus

Jesus was pretty good (the book was better than the movie) but my god the fandom sucks.

EDIT: thewithywindle says, “Much of the problem is people confusing Jesus fanfic with canon."

A few more pieces from Atari's intellectual property catalog, which has been on clearance sale for a little while now, have new owners. Of note is the Total Annihilation and Master of Orion franchises being picked up by World of Tanks developer Wargaming World Limited, while the Star Control series is now in the hands of Galactic Civilizations developer Stardock.

"We're very excited to publish a new Star Control game. We are inclined to go with an XCOM-like reboot using Star Control 2 as a major source of inspiration," said Brad Wardell, president and CEO of Stardock to Joystiq. "By rebooting the series á la XCOM, we can bring a new generation of gamers into a fun, silly space adventure. We hope to involve as many of the original designers and developers of the series, along with the fan base. It's important to us that Star Control remain true to its origins as much as is possible."

Wargaming has yet to respond to our request about its plans. We've placed the list of the latest Atari IP winners after the break. The winning bids were not disclosed.

Continue reading More Atari IP auction winners announced, Stardock plans Star Control reboot

More Atari IP auction winners announced, Stardock plans Star Control reboot originally appeared on Joystiq on Mon, 22 Jul 2013 14:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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djempirical

umm.

In the car industry, Formula 1 provides a commercial testbed for cutting-edge technologies. The Ubuntu Edge project aims to do the same for the mobile phone industry -- to provide a low-volume, high-technology platform, crowdfunded by enthusiasts and mobile computing professionals. A pioneering project that accelerates the adoption of new technologies and drives them down into the mainstream.

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This beautifully crafted smartphone is a proving ground for the most advanced mobile technologies on the horizon, a showpiece for true mobile innovation. And at the heart of it all is convergence: connect to any monitor and this Ubuntu phone transforms into an Ubuntu PC, with a fully integrated desktop OS and shared access to all files.

We’re fascinated by converged computing, the idea that the smartphone in your pocket can also be the brain of the PC on your desk. We’ve shaped Ubuntu so you can transition seamlessly between the two environments. Now all that’s needed is a phone that’s designed from the ground up to be a PC as well.

The Ubuntu Edge is our very own superphone, a catalyst to drive the next generation of personal computing.

Original Source

Judge blocks North Dakota's extreme six-week abortion ban Salon A federal judge ruled on Monday that North Dakota's “fetal heartbeat” ban, which criminalizes abortion as early as six weeks, cannot take effect while a legal challenge against the measure is ongoing. U.S. District Judge Daniel L. Hovland's called the law “a ... and more »

“We’ll be there for forty-five minutes, tops,” Derek had said. “I just promised Angela we would come by. I’m sorry. I really am. But I swear it won’t be that bad.”

Alix had rolled her eyes at him. “My one night out this whole week.”

“I knooow,” Derek had groaned happily. “I’m awful, doing this to you. I’ll buy you a diamond.”

“Derek.”

“Ruby diamonds. Ten of ‘em.”

“Just promise me you won’t leave me alone with these people.”

Derek smiled. “Gold diamonds.”

She braced herself. Smiled at the rearview mirror. Smoothed down the front of her skirt. “They’re not going to be weird about it, right?”

Derek kept smiling.

*

“Oh my God,” the young woman said.

Derek was already running into the kitchen, the door swinging behind him, releasing a wobbling crescent of light into the living room every few seconds. Fuck you, Derek, she thought helplessly, then directed a bright smile onto the girl’s upturned face.

“Oh my God,” the girl said, “you were married to Louis C.K.? Like, the Louis C.K., from Louie?”

“Yeah,” Alix said, smile still bright.

“Danny. Danny. Danny. Danny,” the girl repeated loudly to a young man in glasses–presumably christened Danny–a few feet away. “Danny,” she said proudly when he turned to join them, “this is Alice. Alix. From Louis C.K. She married him. She’s the ex-wife.”

“Oh, my God,” Danny said. “You have to talk to us. I swear to God, you have to promise you won’t talk to anyone else all night.”

Smile a little less bright now.

The girl spread her hands wide. “I think he’s a genius.” Was she wearing false eyelashes? Did this girl put on a set of false eyelashes to go to a house party? That was insane. Right? That was insane? It had been a while since Alix had gotten to go out on the weekends, but did women (girls, her mind hissed) really put on false eyelashes to go to a party in someone’s living room on a Friday night?

“Yeah, it’s great, how many people support his work. I’m actually only in the city right now for a few weeks working on s–”

Danny, who had been nodding his head and murmuring “uh-huh” at every third or fourth word of Alix’s, sat on the top of the sofa and said: “He’s an actual genius, like da Vinci, you know?”

“I–”

“An actual genius.”

“I think he’s really brave,” the girl said. Danny nodded again.

“Really brave. Because he talks about how unfuckable he is–”

“And that’s what makes him fuckable,” Danny finished for her.

“Right. That’s what makes him so fuckable.”

“Really glad you guys like his work,” Alix said vaguely, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible. “So what do you do?”

“No disrespect,” the girl said, putting down her wineglass and leaning in conspiratorially, “no disrespect, but if he ever married me, I would NEVER divorce him. Ever. I would fuck him all the time.”

“Oh,” Alix said, looking around and catching Derek’s gaze, who raised a bottle in her direction and winked. Fuck yourself with ten…with ten fucks, Derek, she thought helplessly. “Well, you know, sometimes things just don’t work out.”

“He just seems like such a good dad,” the girl continued. She tipped her wineglass back and drained it. “I don’t know if you watch the show–do you watch the show?–but he is, like, crazy about his little girls. He’s such a good dad.”

Danny nodded. He was a real nodder, this Danny. “Such a good dad,” he echoed. “You can tell because he’s always talking about what a good dad he is.”

“Such a good dad,” the girl said. Alix couldn’t remember her name. She was just The Girl, like a character in an Ingmar Bergman film. Did she have a home? Did she have a job? Or did she just melt in and out of existence in this living room whenever parties were winding down?

“Yeah,” Alix said. This was safer. Dad stuff was safer.

Danny tilted his head. “Was it weird,” he said, then tilted his head in the opposite direction. “Was it weird when he talked about how gross he was getting while you guys were still married?”

“How gross he thought he was getting,” the girl corrected him. “He thinks he’s gross, but that’s what makes him hot. In a gross way.”

“Right,” Danny said. “But when he talked about how he was too gross to fuck, and then that just made him want to get grosser and all. Was that weird? Because you were still married?”

“Mmm,” Alix said.

“Is it true that you, like, never had sex with him?” the girl asked.

“I–”

“Because that sad handjob story was like, really sad.”

Alix made a sound that never quite finished making its way out of her throat.

“I think you should have been nicer about it.”

“Okay, well–”

“The handjob.”

“Right.”

“Nicer about that handjob you gave him.”

“Right, I see what you mean.”

“Like, he already felt really bad, about being so gross. And none of those girls he talked about wanting to fuck would fuck him. So I really think you could have been nicer when you gave him the handjob.”

Danny, still in a continuous state of nodding, nodded again.

“I’m really not comfortable discussing this.”

“That’s really interesting,” the girl said. “Is that why you guys split up? Because Louis seems like he’s comfortable talking about anything.”

“That’s why I think he’s so brave,” Danny added.

“Oh my God, so brave,” the girl said.

“Well,” Alix said.

“That’s just what I think.” The girl grabbed a handful of crackers off of the plate. “That’s just what I think.”

“I should go,” Alix said, putting down her glass and wiping her lips. “I should go check on the kids.”

“I thought Louis had them on Friday nights?” Danny said.

“Yeah, I thought Louis had them on the weekends. He has them on the weekends on the show. Do you watch the show?

Original Source

If you were born after February 1985, you’ve never lived through a month of below average global temperatures. According to new data from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, in June the earth’s surface was warmer than the 20th century average for the month for the 340th time in a row. It was the fifth hottest June since 1918, NOAA said. (An analysis from NASA says the month was the second hottest since 1880.)

An entire generation has grown up during this streak of hot weather, which Philip Bump, who now writes for the Atlantic Wire, pointed out in the online environmental magazine Grist last year. The last time the global average of land and ocean temperatures was below long-term levels was in February 1985. The United Nations reported earlier in July that more countries have seen record-breaking temperatures in the first decade of this century than ever before. This month, northern Canada, northwestern Russia, southern Japan, the Philippines, southwestern China, and central-southern Africa all saw unprecedented temperatures for the month, according to NOAA.

Still, it wasn’t hot everywhere. Spain saw its coolest June sine 1997. Temperatures in the UK were also lower, about 0.2 degrees celsius (0.4 degrees fahrenheit) below than the long-term average for the month. (A slew of retailers, including spanish clothing company Inditex, said rainy and cool summer weather in Europe was to blame for slower sales for the quarter.)

We’ve already seen some of the effects of a warmer world. Since the early 20th century, the average world temperature has risen by about 0.8 degrees celsius, or 1.4 degrees fahrenheit. Researchers have recorded higher rates of hospitalization and crime. Thanks to melting ice caps in the Arctic, shipping has quadrupled just in the the last year. And last year, warmer temperatures and higher sea levels arguably turned a hurricane that hit the eastern US into a “frankenstorm.”

The United Nations has warned that the average temperature could increase by 4 degrees celsius above pre-industrial levels by 2100, which some researchers say will wreak further havoc, causing extreme temperatures, lower crop yields, damage to ocean ecosystems and human health risks.

Bob Odenkirk and David Cross—the stars of classic '90s sketch comedy show Mr. Show—are coming to Portland as part of a book tour for their new book, Hollywood Said No! Orphaned Film Scripts, Bastard Scenes, and Abandoned Darlings from the Creators of Mr. Show. They'll be in town Saturday, September 28 and will do a signing at the Burnside Powell's, followed by a show at the Newmark Theatre. They'll be joined by fellow Mr. Show alum Brian Posehn. This is only one of five stops they're doing nationwide (the others are New York, Boston, Chicago, and San Francisco), so good on ya, Portland.

Tickets for the Newmark show go on sale this Friday, July 26 at 10 am, but a presale is already up here; check Bob Odenkirk's Twitter for the presale password.

While this isn't quite the Mr. Show reunion that was hinted at recently—we may still get that in a couple years, on the 20th anniversary of the show—the reunion of Cross, Odenkirk, and Posehn is STUPENDOUSLY GOOD news. Mr. Show's shadow of influence only grows with each passing year, and almost all of its alumni have gone on to other high profile, hilarious gigs. It was unquestionably the funniest show of the '90s, and other than Kids in the Hall it was perhaps the only sketch comedy show of the past 30 years that really mattered. (Sorry, The Dana Carvey Show.) I don't know what Odenkirk and Cross will do onstage, although I'm guessing it will be connected to material from the Hollywood Said No! book, which includes a full-length script for the never-produced Bob and David Make a Movie and Hooray for America! movies, as well as abandoned Mr. Show sketches. Whatever it is they're up to, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

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willowbl00 posted a photo:

Seriously laughed ourselves to tears of this. Saint I-didn't-get-enough-sleep-last-night-and-really-can't-handle-this-right-now

tommypom:

suguelya:

the-frozen-city:

averypottermormon:

ice-cream-in-the-rain:

Something about bedrooms with little hidden away nooks or split levels just really gets me

i would have no problems owning any or all of these spaces

I need the things

Take my money gdi

Anti-street harassment graffiti. Good on you Philly!

Karen Gillen at Comic-Con

exoskeletoncabaret posted a photo:

Tintypes by Libby Bulloff and Stephen Robinson at the Sequential Art Gallery in Portland, OR.

We made 24 wetplate photographs with our 1908 Seneca Black Beauty 4x5, organized into short narrative sequences on the subject of nightmares. Some teasers are located here: www.flickr.com/photos/henriettaseye/

Also on display are a handful of 16x20 and 24x30 inch museum-quality giclee prints made from high-resolution digital scans of our original tintype photographs, and a handmade, one of a kind rosary constructed from fish vertebrae, chicken bones, and human teeth by Ondine Vivian Eleven.

Through July 27, 2013.

Dennis Farina, a former Chicago cop who as a popular actor played a cop on "Law & Order," has died. Lori De Waal, his representative, says Farina died Monday morning in a Scottsdale, Ariz., hospital after suffering a blood clot in his lung. He was 69.

Police forces in rural corners of Xinjiang province have been sending geese officers out on patrol since earlier this year, according to a report on the Chinese language website of the state-run People’s Daily newspaper.

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