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22 Nov 20:05

Google squashes nasty bugs that led to perfect-storm account hijacking

by Dan Goodin

Google engineers have squashed several high-impact security vulnerabilities in the company's account recovery system that enabled attackers to hijack user accounts.

A proof-of-concept attack that exploited the bugs required a victim to click a booby-trapped link leading to Google.com contained in a spear phishing e-mail. Behind the scenes, the link briefly redirected to an attacker's website even as it opened a legitimate password-reset page on Google. When a victim clicked on the link while logged in to the targeted Gmail account, the attacker site also performed a cross-site scripting attack. The Web application equivalent of a Jedi mind trick, the two exploits sent both the password entered by the victim and the authentication cookie used to access the account to the attacker's website.

"It's a clever attack," Jeremiah Grossman, CTO of Web-application security firm WhiteHat Security, told Ars. "There's elegance and simplicity." The exploit developer "did a lot of work behind the scenes to make the attack simple. This is what we're meant to do in a browser on Gmail. When we see links, we're meant to click on them."

Read 6 remaining paragraphs | Comments


    






22 Nov 20:05

Annie Dookhan, former state chemist who mishandled drug evidence, sentenced ... - Boston.com


San Francisco Chronicle

Annie Dookhan, former state chemist who mishandled drug evidence, sentenced ...
Boston.com
Disgraced state chemist Annie Dookhan is escorted bv court officers into the prisoner's dock at Suffolk David L. Ryan/Globe Staff Disgraced state chemist Annie Dookhan is escorted bv court officers into the prisoner's dock at Suffolk Superior Court to begin ...
Mass. crime lab chemist sentenced to 3-5 years for tamperingChicago Tribune
Ex-Massachusetts chemist gets 3 to 5 years in tampering caseCNN
Mass. chemist pleads guilty in drug lab scandalSeattle Post Intelligencer
San Jose Mercury News
all 203 news articles »
22 Nov 20:04

Photo



22 Nov 20:04

Popular dating app Tinder expands to 'just friends' with major update

by Adrianne Jeffries

Tinder, the app that sets people up with romantic matches by geographic proximity, is expanding beyond dating — or at least, the company is hoping to.

Tinder is best known for its addictive, game-like browsing feature, which allows users to swipe right on a photo of someone they like and swipe left to never see that person's face again. However, the app's creators are hoping that people will start using the service to talk to their friends as well as meet friends of friends.

The company pushed a major update yesterday that spiffs up the interface and supposedly hones the matching algorithm. The most visible change, however, is the new lists feature. In addition to liking or nixing people based on their photos and profile, users can now add each other to friends lists and chat about platonic things.


Users can now add each other to friends lists and chat about platonic things

Tinder hooks into your Facebook friend graph in order to serve up profiles in your extended network. If both parties swipe yes, the app will introduce them. The expansion to friendship and networking could provide a cover for those who are hesitant about dating online, but it seems like it could also be risky for Tinder.

Dating has always been a moneymaker on the web, while people discovery apps haven't had much success. Users are already using Tinder to talk to their friends, however, so the pivot shouldn't seem that surprising, cofounder Sean Rad tells TechCrunch.

22 Nov 19:42

Grandson got run over by a reindeer

by OnlyMrGodKnowsWhy

Village 14 reports a kid walking to Newton South High School yesterday morning was knocked to the ground by a deer that ran out of the marsh he was walking by. The site doesn't say, but presumably the deer was buck naked at the time.

Original Source

22 Nov 19:37

Thank God it’s Frida

22 Nov 19:36

Shigeo Fukuda, 1975

22 Nov 19:36

the host on the local rap station said lady gaga’s new album is called pop art and that it...

the host on the local rap station said lady gaga’s new album is called pop art and that it went platinum already

22 Nov 19:18

Report: Telltale developing Game of Thrones game ... of thrones

by Jessica Conditt
Telltale is working on a game based on George R.R. Martin's book series, A Song of Ice and Fire, better known as the HBO show Game of Thrones, IGN reports, citing "multiple reliable sources." Telltale told Joystiq, "We get these sorts of rumors about what we could be working on next cropping up all the time. Officially we have no comment."

Telltale successfully transposed The Walking Dead comic series into video game form, and it's currently working on The Wolf Among Us, an adaptation of the Fables comic series. Episode 2 of The Wolf Among Us is due next, and it's set up to hit a high bar.

If this Game of Thrones project is legit, we hope it includes a "Slap The Royal Brat" mini-game. That one's free, Telltale.

JoystiqReport: Telltale developing Game of Thrones game ... of thrones originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 21 Nov 2013 18:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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22 Nov 18:41

Parents Finally Cave And Buy 33-Year-Old Son PlayStation 1

KENOSHA, WI—Having refused to purchase the video game console since its introduction in 1994, local parents John and Melissa Gionda confirmed Thursday that they had finally caved in and bought a Sony PlayStation 1 for their 33-year-old son, Daniel.
    






22 Nov 18:41

Area Man Can Remember Exactly Where He Was, What He Was Doing When He Assassinated John F. Kennedy

LANGLEY, VA—Saying that he will never forget the events of that fateful day, local man Edgar Denton, 81, told reporters Friday that, five decades later, he could still recall exactly where he was and what he was doing the day he shot and killed form...
    






22 Nov 18:41

Alleged Killer Kayla Mendoza Tweets "2 Drunk 2 Care" Before Causing Horrific Accident

by hodad
firehose

Florida
never go

mendoza.jpg
Kayla Mendoza
On Saturday night, hours before authorities say 20-year-old Kayla Mendoza pulled her Hyundai Sonata onto the Sawgrass Expressway going the wrong way and crashed into a 2012 Toyota Camry, killing the two passengers inside, she tweeted "2 drunk 2 care," her Twitter feed shows.

Mendoza, of Hallandale Beach, who calls herself a "pothead princess" on Twitter and has slightly altered the spelling of her name on the social media site, has dispatched scores of tweets detailing what appears to be chronic marijuana and alcohol abuse -- some of which even occurs inside her car.

See also: "2 Drunk 2 Care" Kayla Mendoza: "She Will Live With This The Rest Of Her Life"

Florida Highway Patrol says the wrong-way driver hit the Toyota just after 1:45 a.m. Marisa Catronio was pronounced dead at the scene. Her passenger, Kaitlyn Ferrante, was taken to Broward Health North, where she later died. Mendoza was also transported there and is in serious condition.

"The vehicle came upon a Toyota Camry, struck the Toyota Camry head-on, and the passenger of the Toyota Camry was pronounced dead at the scene," Sgt. Mark Wysocky told NBC 6.

But Mendoza has more than tweeted about her drug abuse; she's also uploaded pictures.

princess.jpg

According to court records, Mendoza hasn't yet been charged with a crime involving the crash. We'll update this post as more specifics emerge.

Original Source

22 Nov 18:39

nevertoooldtolovemuppets: I adore everything about this...



nevertoooldtolovemuppets:

I adore everything about this photo.

Ditto.

22 Nov 18:39

Xbox One disc drive broken for some users, YouTube videos show [Update: Microsoft responds]

by Jessica Conditt
firehose

never buy first-generation hardware beat


xbox one

A handful of YouTube demonstrations show Xbox One disc drives broken in the same way: The console accepts a game disc and then makes an awful skipping sound and doesn't register any game data. One YouTuber, Gabriel Ortiz, compiled a few videos of busted Xbox One disc drives, which he found under the search term "Broken Xbox One."

We've reached out to Microsoft for more information.

Update: A Microsoft spokesperson provided the following statement: "We know that with a hardware launch of this magnitude customers will have questions and we have many avenues for customers to get the answers they need and get back in the game as soon as possible. Rest assured we plan to take care of our customers.

"Any customer who believes they are experiencing an issue with their Xbox One should reach out to us. There are many avenues available for customers to get in touch with us including:
  • Talking to a live customer support person that can call you back if you don't want to wait
  • Xbox.com for support pages and forums
  • On Twitter with @XboxSupport
  • There are also Help and diagnostics on the console by saying 'Xbox Help.'"

JoystiqXbox One disc drive broken for some users, YouTube videos show [Update: Microsoft responds] originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 22 Nov 2013 13:15:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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22 Nov 18:39

Bottleneck Gallery’s Special Doctor Who Anniversary Print Sale Starts Today

Starting today (Friday, November 22) at 12:00 pm, Bottleneck Gallery is releasing a special series of Doctor Who prints by Matt Ferguson in honor of the show's 50th anniversary celebrations. There's one for each Doctor so you can get your favorite incarnation(s) or buy them as a set. We don't have all the Doctors here - you'll have to drop by the sale when it goes live to see the rest. The event ends at 11:59 pm on Sunday, November 24.

22 Nov 18:39

Matt Smith Might Have Auditioned for Star Wars, Jason Flemyng Definitely Did

At this point, is there anybody who hasn't been the subject of Star Wars speculation? It seems like all an actor has to do is breathe the same air as director J.J. Abrams and the fans pounce. I'm including myself in this pouncing fandom, by the way. What else can we do when the only cast member who has been confirmed is R2-D2? I love the little guy, but you've got to give us more information than that, J.J.
22 Nov 18:38

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum makes one South Boston burglar pretty sick

by OnlyMrGodKnowsWhy

Capt. John Greland at District C-6 reports that on Monday, somebody broke into 795 E. 3 St., opened a full half-gallon of rum, drank almost all of it, couldn't handle it, vomited in the toilet, then fled.

Victim believes he knows who did it.

Original Source

22 Nov 18:38

In New York, Having a Job, or 2, Doesn’t Mean Having a Home - NYTimes.com

by OnlyMrGodKnowsWhy

Michael Nagle for The New York Times

Alpha Manzueta, who has lived in a homeless shelter for three years, says she feels “stuck.”

By MIREYA NAVARRO
Published: September 17, 2013 724 Comments
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On many days, Alpha Manzueta gets off from one job at 7 a.m., only to start her second at noon. In between she goes to a place she’s called home for the last three years — a homeless shelter.

Connect With NYTMetro

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Michael Nagle for The New York Times

Alpha Manzueta holds two security guard jobs, one at Kennedy Airport.

Jabin Botsford/The New York Times

Deirdre Cunningham also works two jobs, as a bank teller and as a sales clerk at an electronics store.

Readers’ Comments

Readers shared their thoughts on this article.

“I feel stuck,” said Ms. Manzueta, 37, who has a 2 ½-year-old daughter and who, on a recent Wednesday, looked crisp in her security guard uniform, waving traffic away from the curb at Kennedy International Airport. “You try, you try and you try and you’re getting nowhere. I’m still in the shelter.”

With New York City’s homeless population in shelters at a record high of 50,000, a growing number of New Yorkers punch out of work and then sign in to a shelter, city officials and advocates for the homeless say. More than one out of four families in shelters, 28 percent, include at least one employed adult, city figures show, and 16 percent of single adults in shelters hold jobs.

Mostly female, they are engaged in a variety of low-wage jobs as security guards, bank tellers, sales clerks, computer instructors, home health aides and office support staff members. At work they present an image of adult responsibility, while in the shelter they must obey curfews and show evidence that they are actively looking for housing and saving part of their paycheck.

Advocates of affordable housing say that the employed homeless are proof of the widening gap between wages and rents — which rose in the city even during the latest recession — and, given the shortage of subsidized housing, of just how difficult it is to escape the shelter system, even for people with jobs.

“A one-bedroom in East New York or the South Bronx is still $1,000 a month,” said Patrick Markee, senior policy analyst with the Coalition for the Homeless, an advocacy and housing services group. “The jobs aren’t enough to get people out of homelessness.”

David Garza, executive director of Henry Street Settlement, which runs three family shelters and one shelter for single women with mental illnesses, said that five years ago his shelters were placing 200 families a year into permanent housing. Last year, he said, they placed 50.

“Without low-income housing, it’s a maze with no way out,” Mr. Garza said.

The employed homeless are constantly juggling the demands of their two worlds.

A 45-year-old woman named Barbara, who works part time as a public transit customer service representative, said she had to keep items like razors and nail clippers at a storage center because they were not allowed in the shelter for security reasons.

Sometimes she takes a tote bag filled with dirty clothes to work to take to the laundromat afterward, she said, because the machines at the shelter are always either broken or being used.

But, she said, there is no escaping the noise and fitful sleep of a dormitory shared with eight other women.

Like most homeless employed people interviewed for this article, Barbara did not want to be identified by her full name for fear of losing her privacy or her job. She has been homeless since 2011, she said, when her unemployment insurance ran out and she could no longer afford her apartment in Brooklyn. No one at work knows, she said.

“When it comes to the professional arena, I want people to think that I got it together, that I’m not living paycheck to paycheck, that my only option isn’t to buy secondhand,” she said.

Sometimes homeless workers discover one another.

Deirdre Cunningham, 21, who works two part-time jobs — as a bank teller and as a sales clerk for an electronics store in Manhattan, said that at one point a co-worker at the store invited her to an evening event. “I said, ‘I can’t go, because I have curfew,’ and this co-worker said, ‘What do you mean curfew?’ ”

“I said, ‘I live in a shelter,’ and she said, ‘I do, too.’ ”

Ms. Cunningham, who has a 4-year-old daughter, said she has always been open about her struggles. “A lot of people have problems, too,” she said.

She said she left her parents’ home in the South Bronx in 2011 because she did not want to expose her daughter to “family issues.” Two years and three shelters later, she moved in August into her own $900-a-month one-bedroom apartment in the Bronx with the help of a rent subsidy from the Coalition for the Homeless. But the aid lasts for only two years.

“Now that I got my living situation under control, now it’s time for me to go back to school, get a better job, be more of a mother,” said Ms. Cunningham, who has completed training as a medical assistant but aspires to be a journalist.

“My daughter wants to take ballet,” she said.

A city-commissioned study by the Vera Institute of Justice in 2005 found that “contrary to popular belief,” 79 percent of homeless heads of family had recent work histories and more than half had educational levels, up to college, that made them employable.

Most, the study found, had experienced “destabilizing” events before entering the shelter, most commonly the loss of a job, an eviction or the loss of public assistance benefits.

In 2004, Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg unveiled an ambitious plan to reduce the city’s homeless population — then 38,000 — by two-thirds in five years. The plan envisioned shifting dollars away from the shelter system to create low-income housing with social services.

To make the shelter system less inviting, the city also stopped giving homeless families priority for public housing, and made it harder for those who left the system to return.

In 2011, when the state and federal support were withdrawn, the city ended a program that gave rent subsidies for up to two years to help families move out of shelters and into their own apartments.

Now the number of shelter residents hovers around 50,000, according to the city’s Department of Homeless Services. More than 9,000 are single adults and more than 40,000 other residents are in families, including 21,600 children. The average monthly cost for the government to shelter a family is more than $3,000; the cost for a single person is more than $2,300.

Linda I. Gibbs, Mr. Bloomberg’s deputy mayor for health and human services, said there were no local resources to keep up with demand for subsidized housing after both federal and state money dried up.

Advocates for the homeless say the city should restore housing assistance for shelter residents, including giving them priority for public housing.

But in an interview, Ms. Gibbs reiterated the Bloomberg administration’s long-held position that more benefits only attract more people to shelters. “That drives more demand,” she said. “It’s a Catch-22.”

Ms. Gibbs said officials were now exploring expanding a city program that helps families at risk of losing their homes to stay in place.

But those like Ms. Manzueta, the security guard, still need a way out.

She said she managed to hold on to her $8-an-hour positions and to take courses to learn new skills. But with an eviction marring her credit record and unable to afford more than $1,000 for rent, she has not been able to land an apartment.

“New York City,” said Ms. Manzueta, a native, “is the hardest city to live in.”

A version of this article appears in print on September 18, 2013, on page A1 of the New York edition with the headline: In New York, Having a Job, or 2, Doesn’t Mean Having a Home.

Original Source

22 Nov 18:38

Jello Salad Days

by OnlyMrGodKnowsWhy
firehose

autoreshare

22 Nov 18:37

Pinner is a fast, no-nonsense iPhone and iPad app for...



Pinner is a fast, no-nonsense iPhone and iPad app for pinboard.

 See also

Via Phillip Gruneich.

22 Nov 18:37

Amazon now lets customers give Prime subscriptions as gifts

by Chris Welch

Amazon Prime has been around for years, so it may come as some surprise that before today customers couldn't gift subscriptions to friends and family. But that's finally changed. The online retailer now lets you pay the annual $79 fee on behalf of someone else, and pick a day when they'll receive an email notification of their gifted membership. Of course, that nets the lucky recipient all the perks of Prime, including free two-day shipping, $3.99 overnight deliveries, and access to Amazon Prime Instant Video. And while it's not the most original or thoughtful holiday gift, we doubt you'll find many people who would complain about getting a free year of Prime. If you've already got someone in mind, visiting amazon.com/giftprime is all it takes to get started.

22 Nov 18:37

Here is our best approximation of where the world’s tax havens are

by Tim Fernholz
firehose

"the US still has trouble with asking banks to keep ownership and accounting records"

Tax-havens-of-the-world_mapbuilder (1)

The OECD, which works to coordinate economic policy in the wealthiest countries, has released its rankings (pdf) of which countries are best and worst at exchanging information to prevent the abuse of their banking systems by tax-dodgers. We’ve turned the data into the map above, ranging from countries that lacked the basic infrastructure to even be rated to those that are largely compliant with the rules. (If a country isn’t marked, it’s either compliant or not part of the peer-review process.)

The map reflects both the changing pattern of illicit finance and the loose approach to global reform. You may be surprised to see that the Cayman Islands is largely compliant, given its reputation as a tax haven, but that reflects increasing pressure from the UK for the Caymans to clean up its act and start learning the real identities of the people using its banks. On the other hand, the Cayman Islands is a member of the steering committee that overseas the rating process, and the island of Jersey, another notorious tax haven, is the vice-chair of the peer review group.

The reddest faces in the rating game—besides the passel of small countries and Switzerland who couldn’t even muster up the basic requirements for rating—are Cyprus, Luxembourg, the Seychelles and the British Virgin Islands, all of which were rated as non-compliant. You may remember that Cyprus got hung up with Russian tax avoidance during its bailout this year, while both the British Virgin Islands and the Seychelles have seen rapid growth in offshore companies as other jurisdictions have tightened lax rules. Luxembourg is probably the worst of the lot: It doesn’t require its banks to know the identity of account holders, can’t force banks to divulge them, and doesn’t exchange information with other countries. Austria and Turkey are the next rung up, only partially compliant: Neither country requires its banks to know who owns bank accounts.

You may also be surprised to see the United States, Germany and the UK making the list at only “largely compliant.” But the US still has trouble with asking banks to keep ownership and accounting records. You’ve heard of Delaware, right?

22 Nov 18:37

Irene Castle (LOC)

by The Library of Congress
firehose

via Overbey

The Library of Congress posted a photo:

Irene Castle (LOC)

Bain News Service,, publisher.

Irene Castle

[between ca. 1915 and ca. 1920]

1 negative : glass ; 5 x 7 in. or smaller.

Notes:
Title from unverified data provided by the Bain News Service on the negatives or caption cards.
Forms part of: George Grantham Bain Collection (Library of Congress).

Format: Glass negatives.

Rights Info: No known restrictions on publication.

Repository: Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division, Washington, D.C. 20540 USA, hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/pp.print

General information about the Bain Collection is available at hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/pp.ggbain

Higher resolution image is available (Persistent URL): hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/ggbain.21168

Call Number: LC-B2- 3773-3

22 Nov 18:36

Newegg’s chief counsel testifies: 30 infringement claims in last 8 years alone

by Joe Mullin
Newegg Chief Legal Officer Lee Cheng

MARSHALL,TX—"Imagine you're sitting at home minding your own business," said Newegg lawyer Kent Baldauf in opening statements earlier this week. "Someone knocks on your door and tells you—or demands from you—millions of dollars for a service that you're already paying someone else for."

Imagine the service is cable television and that you're already paying the cable company.

"But this person tells you, 'We own a patent on cable TV, and you owe us too for all the years you've been watching cable TV,'" Baldauf continued. "Then you look into it, and you find out, wait a minute, this patent really doesn't cover what they say it covers. What would you do? My guess is you [would] do exactly what Newegg has done here. You would say: That's not right. I want my day in court."

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22 Nov 18:24

This Week's Style Events

by Marjorie Skinner
firehose

Goorin beat (hi Rosalind)

—There's so much focus on prezzies this time of year, but don't forget cards. Egg Press is hosting its annual holiday sample sale, with cards as low as $-freaking-1, plus other EP goodies for stocking stuffers and the rest of the year. Today & Saturday, 10 am-6 pm and Sunday, 11 am-4 pm, Schoolhouse Electric Co. library, 2181 NW Nicolai

—Line up early for Frances May's annual warehouse sale, where you can score men's and women's clothing and accessories from past season for up to a stunning 90% off. It will be bonkers, especially with brands like Suno, A.P.C., Folk, Rachel Comey, Raquel Allegra... Saturday, The Cleaners, 1022 SW Stark, noon-5 pm

—The physical location of Crafty Wonderland is celebrating its third anniversary, with 10% off all day long. Saturday, Crafty Wonderland, 808 SW 10th, 10 am-6 pm

PINO and Sterling Coffee Roasters are celebrating their collaborative holiday collection of "ties, bow ties, pocket rounds and special Sterling Coffee gifts" with a launch party over drinks and snacks. Saturday, Coffeehouse Northwest, 1951 W Burnside, 6 pm

—Portland's Goorin Brothers, in concert with Rogue, Portland Beard Co and The Portland Beardsmen, is raising money for Family Dogs New Life Shelter with a six-category (!) beard contest called "Hats off to Beards," with contestants coming as far as Seattle and and Spokane. It's free to attend but there will be an auction of hats and beard products with all proceeds going to the cause. Saturday, Goorin Brothers, 808 NW 23rd, 4-8 pm

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22 Nov 18:16

Photo

firehose

hi saucie



22 Nov 18:04

bijoubug: im pretty sure dogs think exclusively in exclamation points

bijoubug:

im pretty sure dogs think exclusively in exclamation points

22 Nov 18:02

ryuuenx: ungoliantschilde: Phil Noto ~ Superhero Candids My...

firehose

autoreshare





















ryuuenx:

ungoliantschilde:

Phil Noto ~ Superhero Candids
My favorite is Sue staring at Johnny in the UN Lobby.

This series of pictures is among my all-time favorites.

22 Nov 18:00

Wot I Think: Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon…

by John Walker
firehose

"this offensively dull affair takes the repetitive nature of the typical dungeon crawler, and distils it down to its most banal, wearying essence, and titrates it directly onto your screen ... If the game played like bloody Zelda, then fine! But when it’s like a half-arsed 69p iOS game released at a premium price on PC and current gen consoles, it’s madness."

By John Walker on November 22nd, 2013 at 5:00 pm.

With the incredible lore and stories of 70 or so episodes, and the infectious glee of the adored series, it’s hard to see how you could go wrong with an Adventure Time RPG. Well, if you would like to find out, read on. Here’s wot I think of the abysmal Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW.

Oh my goodness, I persisted. No one can say I didn’t. I stuck with Adventure Time: Explore The Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW (ATE) for 27 levels. That may not sound like much. It took, maybe, four hours, and then crashed losing me an hour’s tedious, miserable progress. And I can’t bear to carry on. I’m so astronomically bored I’m a danger to satellites.

I really enjoy Adventure Time. I think the cartoon is wonderful, in its splendidly disjointed and freeform way. I love the characters, the voices, the locations. It has so very much going for it. So it leaves the rather stark question: why developers WayForward decided to dump all of that, and set it in blandly repeating featureless dungeons, interspersed with a tiny handful of endlessly repeated barks, with no joy or imagination whatsoever?

ATE is a phenomenally boring game. That’s a word we don’t usually use in reviews. “Only boring people get bored” I hear echoing in my head. But this offensively dull affair takes the repetitive nature of the typical dungeon crawler, and distils it down to its most banal, wearying essence, and titrates it directly onto your screen. Where that perpetual clicking usually creates a sort of hypnotic pleasure, incessantly dazzling you with new loot, new improvements, incremental change, here all that is taken away, and it’s just the unrewarding button tapping, slowed down to a slumbering crawl.

So, Princess Bubblegum has been keeping lots of prisoners in her 100 floor dungeon, but they’ve been escaping. You’re tasked with battling your way down and down, hitting them all until you find the end of your own personal tether. You can play as Jake, Finn, Marceline, Cinnamon Bun or Peppermint Butler, with other characters unlocked as you go. Other characters you “rescue” become quest-givers, with the apparent plan that you’ll have a bunch of tasks and an ever-expanding dungeon to explore.

Except what you get is ten near-identical levels between bland, or poorly conceived boss fights (of the two I could stand to stick through), in which you trudge around hitting or throwing things at the piddling number of enemy types, gathering treasures to buy upgrades back on the surface. It’s best played with a gamepad, since it was overtly designed with one in mind, and involves walking toward the identikit enemies and pressing B. There are other options, but you don’t need them. There’s no variety, no surprises, no sense of exploration or achievement. Just ten bland levels of the same thing, before the tile art changes and you do it all over again.

Dungeons are the same shape each time, with no challenge to exploring them. The minimap is god-awful beyond belief, and utterly belies how little effort went into crafting the places you spend 99% of the game – just grey rectangles either dark grey or light grey if you’ve been in that section. No detail, no care, no suggestion that there’s any more to this than the single-minded chore.

Every five levels you can come back to the surface and spend your treasures. Either on items, or upgrades to each character. However, an upgrade to Finn won’t upgrade Jake, etc, meaning that to get any of them up to a level to survive later dungeons, you’d have to replay the earlier ones – oh God, no, please, no, .

Anything you don’t spend is sacrificed when you go back down, so there’s no saving up for anything decent. So instead to get anywhere it’s a case of picking a character and persisting. After taking Jake and Finn down, I became thoroughly sick of hearing the same one or two word barks for the 900th time (perhaps with the exception of Jake’s saying “SCOOP!” every third time he picked something up, which for some reason worked for me.) I in the end opted for Marceline, who thanks to her vampiric hovering ways can at least float over the tedious array of pits that litter every floor. Her gentle voice keeps me slightly more calm, even if she only says about three things.

All these voices are provided by the proper cast, and it’s just so sad that it’s all wasted in such a dreadful game. So you’ve got Jeremy Shada (and his now far too old voice, poor thing), John DiMaggio, the incredible Tom Kenny, creator Pendleton Ward (although seemingly having forgotten how to do Lumpy Space Princess’s voice, devastatingly) and the rest of the regulars, alongside fantastic guest stars of the likes of Andy Milonakis, Neil Patrick Harris, Maria Bamford and only bloody Stephen Root.

Yet, as you play the game, by its very nature they never interact. So from its opening concept, the game never had a chance of capturing what the show is all about. In the scripted sequences above ground there are flashes of it, but it’s all so stilted that there’s no flow, no punch.

This is all then rendered even more clumsy and peculiar by the weird decision to half-make it a tribute to classic Nintendo RPGs. Not the way the game plays, at all, whatsoever, not one bit. But the cutscenes, which are static letterboxed images of the characters rendered in crude pixel form, with white Nintendo-style text below, and the dungeons and characters themselves, which are meaninglessly “retro”. Why, when your source is the gorgeously loopy and bendy animation style of the Cartoon Network success, would you instead deliver extremely poorly animated sprites?

It’s such a weird decision, rendered even more so by the frequent cutaways to the characters drawn properly. Use Finn’s “special move” (it’s so, so not special) and you’ll see a gorgeous drawing of Lady Rainicorn screaming something in Korean just as she should be, before it cuts back to the grainy, dreary faux-pixel bore of the main game. Just knowing they could have delivered something that at least looked like Adventure Time is made more gutting by how completely irrelevant the retro styling is. If the game played like bloody Zelda, then fine! But when it’s like a half-arsed 69p iOS game released at a premium price on PC and current gen consoles, it’s madness.

As I played, I tried to work out who it was for. Adventure Time, the TV series, occupies that wonderful space of being completely engrossing to children, while equally so for adults. I think perhaps there was an attempt to do the same here, creating a game that maybe parents could play with kids? I’m not entirely sure, but their opinion of children can’t be that high if they thought something this vacuous and bland would be good enough to entertain them. I sentence everyone involved to playing TT Games’ Lego series until they finally get it.

This is a game with the entire creative team of the show, the array of extraordinary voice actors, and the freedom to explore that world, and it’s set in agonisingly monotonous rectangular dungeons, with characters who don’t speak but for shouting the same half-sentences until your ears crawl off your face and under your armpits. If it were a cheapo mobile game getting a Steam release, you might not mind wasting a couple of quid on listening to the character chatter up top, before quickly tiring of it. But £30?! What were they thinking?

In the end you’ve got a game that doesn’t look like the cartoon it’s based on, certainly doesn’t even try to capture the atmosphere of its source material, completely misunderstands how dungeon crawlers work, has the most dreadful, tinny chiptune music, and looks apathetic in every element.

This could have been a wonderful RPG, set in the show’s array of utterly fantastic locations, quests and side-quests sending you on various journeys, with pretty much the same combat mechanic. It could have been something that celebrated Adventure Time, made use of the amazing resources it had to hand. But instead this is an insipid, limp waste of it all, and a proper shame.

Adventure Time: ETDBIDK is available on Steam for the astonishingly stupid price of £30.

22 Nov 17:54

Super Bowl tailgate ban being considered

by Ryan Van Bibber
firehose

no fun league

Security concerns and scaled back parking lots have the league and MetLife Stadium officials looking into the possibility of putting a ban on tailgaters at the big game.

The NFL could be opening a new front in the war on fun this February in the chilly parking lots of Northern New Jersey. Officials are considering a ban on tailgating at Super Bowl XLVIII as part of the enhanced security measures for the big game, according to a report from the Newark Star Ledger.

Additional security measures will be put in place at the Meadowlands sports complex, where MetLife Stadium is located, the week before the game. That includes a significant reduction in the number of available parking spaces at the facility.

The vice president of the New Jersey Sports and Exhibition Authority told the paper that the number of parking spaces will be reduced by roughly 60 percent. General security needs and television trucks will take over most of the parking lots during the game and in the lead up to it.

For now, a ban on tailgating is still in the discussion phase. Other options, like banning grills, are being considered as well.

Super Bowl XLVIII will be the league's first outdoor game in a part of the country used to seeing freezing temperatures in February. The league has warmed to the idea of a cold weather game. Fans buying tickets will receive a cold weather care package complete with hand warmers and ear muffs. Whether or not they'll be able to use those for tailgating remains to be seen.

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