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07 Jan 20:28

China is cornering the cannabis patent market

by Heather Timmons
pot

More than half of the over 600 cannabis-related patents registered with the United Nations’ global intellectual property agency belong to Chinese companies, which have claimed rights to everything from traditional Chinese medicine-related marijuana tinctures to new methods of administering the drug, like a film that sticks to the skin.

The UN’s World Intellectual Property Organization collects patents from 186 member states that are globally enforceable and organizes them in a searchable database called Patentscope, which shows Chinese cannabis patents including a “Shangxia beverage for relaxing bowels” (and preparation method thereof), a preparation for “assisting in therapy of shivering and sweating” and broader applications like methods of extracting cannabinoids from plants.

Chinese medicine has relied on cannabis and hemp extracts for thousands of years. According to the US Drug Enforcement Agency Museum: “The oldest known written record on cannabis use comes from the Chinese Emperor Shen Nung in 2727 B.C.”  Patenting this knowledge is a much more recent thing—filings from China jumped in recent years, and the country is now filing the most patents of any country in the world via WIPO, beating the US and Japan, a distant third.

Still, there is plenty of room left for other, creative, patent-hungry investors interested in the world’s growing cannabis market. Ulrich Thomet, a Canadian, has received a patent for this novel “method of producing a preparation containing active substances from cannabis:”

Milk and milk products are produced having a cannabis content. These products are generated in that milk cows are fed at least partially with hemp plant parts, in particular blossom material of pistillate hemp plants, these hemp plant parts being administered as silage fodder, dried fodder or fresh fodder mixed with usual cattle feed.

Coming soon, perhaps to Colorado: Green milk.

07 Jan 20:25

San Francisco could charge Google, others for use of public bus stops

by Josh Lowensohn

The free ride for tech companies San Francisco may be over soon. A new city pilot program could begin charging companies like Google, Apple, and Facebook who pick up employees to shuttle them elsewhere using public bus stops, reports Reuters. On top of that, there would be new rules that limit where those buses can stop, where they can go, and that require them to get out of the way when local buses come through. The program, which was announced today by San Francisco mayor Ed Lee, and goes to a vote in the next few weeks, could bring $1.5 million in revenue to the city. It also comes amid unrest from locals who have grown displeased with rising rents and real estate that have been blamed on newly-minted dot com millionaires. The shuttles were implemented to ferry employees back and forth from silicon valley, which can be an hours-long commute each day. But in a crowded city, that's meant the buses sometimes tap local bus stops in the routes, angering those waiting for the local.

07 Jan 20:25

Purple Rain / Pics / Myk31.com

by OnlyMrGodKnowsWhy
8d2cc425146099670fad12b892654e24
OnlyMrGodKnowsWhy

(Artist who did Snoop Lion’s most recent video)


Purple Rain

Original Source

07 Jan 20:25

dylanmeconis: Circe. gorgeous! 



dylanmeconis:

Circe.

gorgeous! 

07 Jan 20:24

SteamOS Update Now Officially Supports Intel

Valve has issued another SteamOS 1.0 "Alchemist" beta update during CES week. This latest beta now comes with official Intel HD Graphics support for SteamOS but they are still going without any official support for the AMD Catalyst driver...
07 Jan 20:24

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07 Jan 20:18

Fantasy Football League Loser Forced To Re-Take SATs

Most fantasy-football owners play to win their leagues. In this group, you just don't want to lose—the last-place finisher has to take the SAT.
07 Jan 20:18

In A Rare Move, China Unblocks Chinese Versions Of Reuters, WSJ

Numerous Chinese web users noticed that the Chinese editions of Reuters and the WSJ are now accessible in the country. They both remain available on Monday morning local time.
07 Jan 20:18

What Happens To All The Salt We Dump On The Roads?

In the U.S., road crews scatter about 137 pounds of salt per person annually to melt ice. Where does it go after that?
07 Jan 20:16

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07 Jan 20:12

Now Taking Calls: GhostControl Inc

by Adam Smith

By Adam Smith on January 7th, 2014 at 10:00 am.

In 2015, the Ghostbusters remake will dominate multiplexes, with its blockbuster cast – Seth Rogen, Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller – grinning at the world from posters on every street corner. Bill Murray will have a cameo, playing the ghost of Garfield, and Slimer will twerk in 97% of his scenes. Don’t worry too much though – nobody will force you to watch it at the cinema. Network television will replay it during every holiday, however, and your children/siblings/pets will inexplicably adore the antics of Stay Puft Girrrl and demand to see that one bit when she dances, using the Empire State Building as a pole.

If that all sounds like too much excitement, perhaps the more tranquil pace of GhostControl Inc will be to your taste. It’s a ghosthunting management sim with turn-based trapping and it’s available now.

I’ve spent almost an hour playing the release version and had a pleasant enough time. The management side is enjoyable, with rival companies scurrying across the charmingly blocky London map to snatch jobs, while petrol usage, vehicle upgrades, weaponry, and sanity/health all require attention.

The missions, in the early stages at least, are a tad disappointing. Ghosts have to be blasted a few times to reduce their health before they can be captured, which should provide some tactical nuance, but is often simply a case of shooting, ending a turn, shooting again and then lobbing a trap. That said, I recently encountered my first corporeal enemies and they’re a little trickier and more demanding.

As a package, it’s rather charming. Ghost hunters have the sort of accent that I’d expect from a mildly irate English plumber and I find that unaccountably pleasing. It does feel like the sort of game I’d prefer to play in bed, laptop propped on my tummy, rather than sitting at my desk. Fifteen minute or half hour stints will probably do the trick, although if the difficulty ramps up and the combat becomes more varied, I might well find myself hooked.

More thoughts soon but the game is available now.

__________________

« Seeping Asylum: Daylight |

Application Systems, bumblebee, ghostcontrol inc.

07 Jan 17:57

Chex Mixed Use

by Dorothy

Comic

07 Jan 17:56

Meet the rebels on the front line of Latin America’s brewing insurgency

by Commentary
Taking on the big guys.

BOGOTA—When Berny Silberwasser blew $40,000 of his savings bringing second-hand brewing equipment from Portland, Oregon to Bogotá in 2002, he can hardly have imagined what a canny investment it would prove to be. “At that time it was all I had”, he remembers. “We used it for three years non-stop until we had to find a new set.”

Eleven years on, with a turnover of $17m a year, the Bogotá Beer Company is Colombia’s biggest craft brewer and the country’s second-largest beer producer overall. Now an established presence in the capital, it owns 23 pubs in the city and sells bottles in Bogotá’s supermarkets and cafes. The best-seller—Chapinero Porter (“from an original English recipe”)—won a best-in-category prize last September at the World Beer Awards in London.

Still, Silberwasser’s company is tiny relative to the competition. UK-based SABMiller controls 98% of Colombia’s beer market after taking over Grupo Empresarial Bavaria in 2005, and owns all the country’s best-known brands. It also dominates in Colombia’s Andean neighbors, Peru and Ecuador, and in Central America, and makes a third of its profit (pdf, p.1) in the region. Anheuser-Busch InBev, the world’s largest brewer, controls most of the market in Brazil, Mexico, and Argentina, and nearly half its profit (pdf, p. 2) is from Latin America.

Colombia’s beer business is one of the continent’s most lucrative, with annual revenues totalling $4.3bn. With six breweries and five bottling plants in the country, SABMiller produces 2 billion liters of beer per year, or 42 liters for every person. But Colombians are thirsty for more. As the middle class has expanded, its taste for beer has increased. The country now brews 87.9% more beer than it did a decade ago.

It would be difficult for any new company to compete with that kind of muscle. But as Colombia’s rich get richer, demand is growing for super-premium beers. As wealthy young consumers turn away from the fusty brands associated with their parents, Bogotá Beer Company has expanded its range and opened pubs in the swankiest parts of town.

Chapinero Porter won gold in its category for 2013. © Jack Aldwinckle

SABMiller’s arrival to the super-premium party has been unfashionably late. In 2006 it started importing its Italian brand, Peroni Nastro Azzuri. In 2010 it introduced Miller Genuine Draught from America, targeting aspirational 18- to 29-year-olds. But, with trend-setters’ tastes changing quicker than ever, small breweries across the region are catching the multinationals off-balance.

In Brazil, the biggest beer maker now faces competition from around 200 small brewers, up from just six in the mid-1990s. In Mexico the craft beer market is growing at a rate of 50%-60% a year. The country is the sixth-largest beer consumer and its small brewers, many of whom are based in Baja California, are struggling to keep up with demand. Some have even attracted a devoted following across the border in San Diego, arguably America’s craft beer capital.

Ironically, craft brewers are turning one of Latin America’s historic weaknesses into a strength. Malted barley is usually one of beer’s crucial ingredients: During the brewing process the starchy grain turns to sugar, giving the beer its sweetness and color. But the often-tropical climate in the region makes barley difficult to grow. While most brewers rely on expensive imports from America or Canada, a few are improvising by mixing in local starch-rich alternatives like corn and cassava.

With his current brewery now running at full stretch, Silberwasser is preparing to open a larger version in the new year, with 10 times the capacity. He’s also expanding outside the capital; new pubs are opening in Medellín, the country’s second city, and Cartagena, on the Caribbean coast. And though SABMiller’s grip on the market shows no sign of loosening, his glass remains half-full. “When I look at them, I see a company that makes a lot of money,” he grins. “But when people look at us, they see a company that makes great beer.”

Jack Aldwinckle is a freelance journalist based in Bogotá. Follow him on Twitter at @JackAldwinckle.

07 Jan 17:50

The Internet Of Things Is Wildly Insecure — And Often Unpatchable

We’re at a crisis point now with regard to the security of embedded systems, where computing is embedded into the hardware itself — as with the Internet of Things. These embedded computers are riddled with vulnerabilities, and there’s no good way to patch them.
07 Jan 17:49

The WikiLeaks Mole

How a teenage misfit became the keeper of Julian Assange's deepest secrets — only to betray him.
07 Jan 17:47

Noted: New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer

by Armin

Cannes Gets Bus-y

New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer

Palm Bus is a new line of service from Bus Azur, which services the city of Cannes in France.

Design by: Sylvain Boyer (Paris)

Opinion/Notes: The most cheerful and optimistic bus identity I've seen. It's not an amazing identity or anything, but it gets the job done quite nicely.

Related Links: Behance project page

New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Logo concept: Mobility + Palm Tree + Ride = Logo
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Logo for different routes.
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Pattern.
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Cards.
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Tickets.
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Timetables.
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Stationery.
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Bus prototype.
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
New Logo and Identity for Palm Bus by Sylvain Boyer
Livery.
Many thanks to our ADVx3 Partners
07 Jan 17:47

China temporarily lifts ban on foreign consoles

by Sinan Kubba
China is allowing foreign firms to make game consoles in Shanghai's free trade zone and then sell them in the country, after the government temporarily suspended its 14-year-ban on foreign console sales. Both the BBC and Reuters report that the ...
07 Jan 17:47

What if the NFL had expanded playoffs in 2013?

by Mark Sandritter

The idea of expanded NFL playoffs has been floated recently, so we took a look at how it would have changed things this season.

Expanded NFL playoffs were a popular topic on Monday with Dan Patrick saying the NFL planned to add a wild card team next year and the league denying that claim shortly after. A final resolution on the subject won't come until at least March when the teams can vote at the annual meetings.

While we'll have to wait for a verdict until then, that doesn't prevent us from taking a look at how the change would have impacted this season. The exact format is still unknown with the NFL likely either going to a play-in game between the No. 6 and No. 7 seeds, or the No. 2 seed no longer getting a first-round bye.

Momentum shifts

The opening weekend of the NFL playoffs did not disappoint ... unless you're a Bengals, Chiefs, Eagles or Packers fan. Jason Chilton digs into the results and looks ahead to the upcoming Divisional round.

Here's a look at how both scenarios would have played out this season.

Play-in Game

NFC Scenario:

There wouldn't be much additional drama in adding a seventh playoff team in the NFC this season. The 10-6 Cardinals would have secured the spot easily, with Dallas, Chicago and others still on the outside looking in. Assuming the No. 6 seed would host, Arizona would have been forced to travel to New Orleans. That didn't turn out very well for the Cardinals in Week 3 when New Orleans came away with a 31-7 victory.

A lot changed in the weeks in between, but the Saints were a dominant home team, so let's go ahead and assume they come away with the win. That would leave the NFC with the same wild card matchups as this season, although there would be one key difference: the play-in game would push the wild card round back a week and give the other five teams an additional week of rest. Would New Orleans, fresh off its 17th game, still have beaten a well-rested Eagles team in Philadelphia? Maybe, but not necessarily.

Let's assume the week off for Philadelphia and the quick turnaround for New Orleans is enough to push the Eagles over the top. In that case, the entire playoff landscape would be altered. Seattle and San Francisco would be preparing for a rubber match in the divisional round while the Panthers would host the Eagles.

AFC Scenario:

The bottom of the AFC playoff standings were a jumbled mess as is, but it would get even more complicated with a seventh playoff team. The Steelers, Ravens, Jets and Dolphins would all be tied for the No. 7 spot at 8-8. The Dolphins would be eliminated based on a division tiebreaker with New York having a better record in the AFC East. The Ravens would be eliminated for similar reasons with the Steelers edging them out thanks to a better record in the AFC North. That would leave New York and Pittsburgh, with the Steelers getting the spot thanks to a head-to-head win against the Jets.

That would mean the Steelers head to San Diego to face the Chargers in the play-in game. Few AFC teams were playing better than Pittsburgh and San Diego down the stretch, leading to a potentially-classic battle in San Diego. The winner would have traveled to face Cincinnati. The extra rest and possible opponent change may have been enough to allow the Bengals advance, but with Cincinnati's recent playoff issues, things could have easily played out the same with either the Steelers or Chargers advancing.

Three wild card games

NFC Scenario:

This is where things really get interesting. Under this format, Carolina would have hosted Arizona, with the other two matchups the same as they were last weekend. The Cardinals smoked the Panthers, 22-6, in Arizona this season. Arizona beat the Seahawks in Seattle in Week 16 and played San Francisco down to the wire in Week 17. The Cardinals would have been an extremely tough out for the Panthers and are fully capable of pulling the upset, especially if Steve Smith was unable to play.

Updated playoff bracket

SB Nation’s beautiful playoff app has you covered with full recaps and an updated bracket after wild card weekend.

If the Panthers won, the divisional round would be the same as it is. The exception, of course, being the fact the Panthers would be coming off a physical game against the Cardinals, instead of a week of rest. San Francisco surely wishes that were the case this week.

If the Cardinals pulled the upset, the entire divisional round would change. Seattle would host the Cardinals in a rematch of Week 16, fully aware the Cardinals are capable of pulling the upset in Seattle. With both wild card teams pulling upsets, the 49ers would be hosting the Saints, setting up the very real possibility of a all-NFC West NFC Championship.

AFC Scenario:

New England's Week 15 loss to Miami would really come back to bite the Patriots. Instead of a bye, New England would be forced to host the Steelers. The Patriots blasted the Steelers, 55-31, in Week 9, but at the very least, we'd get to add a chapter to this rivalry.

Assuming the Patriots took care of business, the matchups would be the same as they are this weekend. New England wouldn't be coming off a bye and would likely be less than the 7-point favorite it is against the Colts this week.

If the Steelers got revenge for 2002 and 2005, upsetting New England at home, things would change dramatically. Denver would host the Steelers in a rematch of 2012, with Peyton Manning playing the role of Tim Tebow. The Colts would go from a big road underdog at New England to hosting the Chargers. San Diego beat Indianapolis, 19-9, earlier this season. If they had a repeat performance, the No. 6 Chargers could be well on their way to the AFC Championship, possibly as the host.

There will be a lot details to work out if the NFL does indeed opt to add a seventh playoff team. Regardless of the format, this season is a great example of how dramatically things could change with another playoff team, even with just a play-in game. Until then, NFL fans will have to settle for just four terrific wild card games.

More from SB Nation NFL

SB Nation's 2014 NFL playoff coverage and brackets

Momentum shifts: Recapping Wild Card weekend

Munchak's loyalty got him fired | Lions like Whisenhunt | NFL coaching news

2014 NFL Draft order set for picks 1-24 after Wild Card Weekend

2014 NFL mock draft: Offseason planning begins for 20 teams

07 Jan 17:44

Hackers found a way to disable 3DS region lock ⊟ This...

by ericisawesome


Hackers found a way to disable 3DS region lock ⊟

This isn’t the same development that allowed pirates to load likely bootlegged ROMs from other regions on their 3DS — this new trick enables you to play a legit imported cartridge on your system. Again, this is not for piracy whatsoever and it does not play ROMs, just retail games.

Like most 3DS hacks lately, you need a 3DS with v4.1-4.5 firmware, so if you have updated your portable in the last nine months, you’re out of luck. By using a DS or 3DS flashcard compatible with the legacy firmware, you can run a special patched launcher file that modifies your system to load cartridges from other regions. You can even install more recent firmware afterward to play imported games that require it (with a few caveats for online play that might require game patches from region-specific eShops).

Time to import Attack on Titan 3DS and preorder New Love Plus+.

BUY Nintendo 2DS & 3DS/XL, imported games, upcoming games
07 Jan 15:57

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07 Jan 15:57

The whole intro to the Doctor Who episode The Bells of Saint...



The whole intro to the Doctor Who episode The Bells of Saint John is filled with things like “add tooltip”, find unordered list elements, if browser is IE than connect (ha! as if that would support whatever they are doing), location protocol checking, Google Analytics and etc.

Looks like someone copied the source of a random web page.

At one points a URL in the form /programmes/bxxxxxxx is shown. This is the standard used for BBC programme web sites. For example, Doctor Who itself is http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006q2x0

At another point the Google Analytics token of the web site WindGuru is apparently shown. Perhaps one of the designers is a keen sailor. Other shots so different parts of the same web site.

07 Jan 07:58

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07 Jan 07:56

Asus PadFone X is an AT&T exclusive with VoLTE, HD Voice, and carrier aggregation

by Ron Amadeo
firehose

god fucking damnit!

fuck youuuuuuuuuu~

Asus is releasing yet another model in the PadFone series—its unique phone-plus-tablet-dock product. If you've never heard of the PadFone, it's a phone and a tablet. The tablet has no processor, ram, storage, or modem; it's just a battery, display, speakers, and a few ports. The phone docks into the back of the tablet like a backpack and seamlessly displays all your apps and data on the larger device. The tablet battery charges the phone when docked.

The new version is an AT&T exclusive (in the US, at least) called the "PadFone X." Details on the specs are pretty slim at the moment, but we know the phone has a five-inch "HD" screen and runs Android 4.4. The tablet has a nine-inch (also "HD") screen, with a brushed metal front, soft touch back, and dual front-facing speakers. We don't have exact numbers for the battery in the tablet, but Asus says it should provide "two times longer" battery life for the smartphone.

The really interesting part of the Padfone is its advanced connectivity features, like Carrier Aggregation, Voice over LTE (VoLTE), and HD Voice. Carrier Aggregation allows the device to use multiple LTE bands from the same carrier at once. AT&T owns LTE bands 2, 4, 17, 29, and 30 in the US, and, while they are not all yet developed in all areas, being able to use spectrum from multiple bands should provide a huge boost to bandwidth. Voice over LTE is exactly what it sounds like: it uses a data connection to make a phone call instead of the legacy GSM voice network. This allows for things like HD Voice—sending your voice over the network at a higher bitrate—and is a big step in sunsetting the GSM network and going all-LTE. While the PadFone X will presumably have a GSM modem, VoLTE will eventually leave devices with just an LTE modem, leading to smaller, simpler internals and lower power requirements.

Read 1 remaining paragraphs | Comments

07 Jan 04:32

hellogiggles: Millions of puppies!



hellogiggles:

Millions of puppies!

07 Jan 04:24

when women are suppressed by morals and tradition they ultimately eat their husbands

firehose

via willowbl00

German Literature Studies, Germany

07 Jan 04:18

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07 Jan 03:32

The Shutter: One of downtown's most eye-catching...

by Erin DeJesus

givepizcart150.jpg

One of downtown's most eye-catching food carts, Give Pizza A Chance, will permanently close at the end of this week after a six-year run. Food Carts Portland reports owner Scott Davison will team with previous owner John Eads (now of the Pyro Pizza cart) for the final week of service. The wood-covered cart will then be taken over by Mauritian cart Chez Dodo, which plans to open at SW 5th and Stark "in a couple of weeks." [FCP]

07 Jan 02:51

Christopher Lee’s greatest horror movie is getting a director’s cut

by Rob Bricken

Christopher Lee’s greatest horror movie is getting a director’s cut

Yes, 40 years after The Wicker Man came out — and of course I mean the British movie, please pay no attention whatsoever to the Nic Cage clusterfuck of the same name — director Robin Hardy has returned to the horror masterpiece to make his definitive version. Plus Archer, Enterprise, Kurosawa and more!

Read more...


    






07 Jan 02:21

Valve releases first hardware specs, prices for third-party Steam Machines

by Michael McWhertor
firehose

Zotac, hooray

At CES today, Valve released new details on the third party partners that will release Steam Machines that run the company's new SteamOS operating system. Valve and its partners also released initial hardware specifications and in some cases, pricing.

The machines come with a wide variety of CPU, RAM and storage specs, with prices to match that broad range. Third party Steam Machines run as little as $499 and up to $6,000, in the case of PC maker Falcon Northwest. Read on for a list of hardware specs and prices from third party Steam Machines.

(Note that some manufacturers, like Alienware, did not detail specs in Valve's brochure.)

Alternate - $1339
CPU - Intel Core i5 4570
Graphics - Gigabyte GTX 760
RAM - 16GB
Storage - 1TB SSHD

CyberPowerPC - $499 and up
CPU - AMD/Intel Core i5 CPU
Graphics - AMD Radeon R9 270/Nvidia GTX 760
RAM - 8GB
Storage - 500GB

Digital Storm Bolt II - $2,584
CPU - Intel Core i7 4770K
Graphics - GTX 780 Ti
RAM - 16GB
Storage - 1TB HDD + 120 GB SSD

Gigabyte Brix Pro - TBD
CPU - Intel Core i7-4770R
Graphics - Intel Iris Pro 5200
RAM - 2 x 4GB
Storage - 1TB SATA 6Gb/sata

Falcon Northwest - $1,799 to $6000
CPU - customizable
Graphics - Nvidia GeForce GTX Titan
RAM - 8 to 16 GB
Storage - up to 6 TB

iBuyPower - $499 and up
CPU - Quad core AMD or Intel
Graphics - Radeon GCN Graphics
RAM - 8GB
Storage - 500GB+

Materiel.net - $1,098
CPU - Intel Core i5 4440
Graphics - MSI GeForce GTX 760 OC
RAM - 8GB
Storage - 8 GB + 1 TB SSHD

Origin PC Chronos - price TBD
CPU - Intel Core i7 4770K (3.9 to 4.6 GHz)
Graphics - 2 x 6GB Nvidia GeForce GTX Titans

Next SPA - price TBD
CPU - Intel Core i5
Graphics - Nvidia GT 760
RAM - 8GB
Storage - 1TB

Scan NC 10 - $1,090
CPU - Intel Core i3 4000M
Graphics - Nvidia GeForce GTX 765M
RAM - 8GB
Storage - 500GB

Webhallen - $1,499
CPU - Intel Core i7
Graphics - Nvidia GT 780
RAM - 16GB
Storage - 1TB SSHD

Zotac - $599
CPU - Intel Core (TBD)
Graphics - Nvidia GeForce GTX
RAM - TBD
Storage - TBD

07 Jan 02:08

Predicting Human Behavior With 100% Accuracy: Misgender a Cat

by Mallory Ortberg
Courtney shared this story from The ToastThe Toast:
Unfortunately true.

catFew things in life are certain, but there is one area of human behavior I fancy myself something of an expert — in fact, I rate my own judgment in this area so highly that I can confidently claim to predict the response of every conscious being with 100% accuracy, should you find yourself in a wagering mood. This is a social experiment that will require a little effort on your part, but I guarantee you will find events unfold exactly as I predict. Humans are all alike in this way.

Step the first: Visit a friend who owns a cat at a time when both cat and human are at home.

Step the second: Wait to be introduced to the cat, or for the cat’s name to be brought up in some slightly more organic fashion.

Step the third (this is crucial): At some later point in the conversation, refer to the cat by an incorrect gender.

Step the fourth: Wait. No one – no one – will let this minor, harmless error go. Every living, breathing person on this planet will immediately respond with “Actually, [s]he’s a boy/girl.” Everyone will say this. It does not matter if they are not the sort of person ordinarily given over to correcting others in conversation, or if they are particularly fond of their particular cat, or if they are the most gender-neutral, open-minded pansexual who ever went by “xie/xirr.”

They will tell you that you have misgendered their cat, even though cats do not appear to have visible genitals in the first place, and in all likelihood their cat was neutered years ago. Most likely their cat has never once engaged in the act of copulation. Their cat does not wear clothes or feel defined by societal gender roles. For all practical purposes, their cat has no gender. The gender of a cat is one of the least important things in the world. If this cat were to somehow transform, Tiresias-like, from male to female in the next instant, it is highly likely that nothing about its (or its owner’s) life would change a jot. And yet people cannot resist from adhering to a course of strict and constant accuracy when it comes to the gender of a cat. It is inexplicable.

Misgender a fish or a bird and it is likely you will hear nothing. No one can misgender a dog; female dogs have those unsettling little nipple-pellets running along the length of their midsections and science has not yet found a way to make dog penises invisible. But misgender a cat and you will never have a moment’s peace til your error is corrected.

I do not pretend to know why this is. I do not know what good it will do you to know this. But it is true, and perhaps that is enough.

Read more Predicting Human Behavior With 100% Accuracy: Misgender a Cat at The Toast.