Kccanavan

University of Nottingham professor Harminder Dua recently discovered a new human body part and named it after himself because that's what you get to do when you discover things. Now I know what you're all hoping for, and sadly, no, it's not some sort of new hidden penis.

Dua's layer sits at the back of the cornea, which previously had only five known layers. Dua and his colleagues discovered the new body part by injecting air into the corneas of eyes that had been donated for research and using an electron microscope to scan each separated layer. The researchers now believe that a tear in Dua's layer is the cause of corneal hydrops, a disorder that leads to fluid buildup in the cornea. According to Dua, knowledge of the new layer could dramatically improve outcomes for patients undergoing corneal grafts and transplants.

"...discovered the new body part by injecting air into the corneas of eyes that had been donated for research..." Can you imagine being the person who's job it is to scoop the eyeballs out of dead people who checked the organ donor box on their driver's license? Because I don't think I could do it. Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil if he ever discovered something he would name it I Hate You.

Today, we are making Red Velvet Cupcakes with Creamy Vanilla Icing. This old family recipe was brought to America by my great-grammy Eleanor, who probably wouldn’t understand why you are still moping about Jeremy.

Ingredients:

• 3 1/2 cups cake flour

• 3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened

• 1 laptop computer, for playing Pandora and refreshing his Facebook profile

• 6 tablespoons red food coloring

• 1 healthy sense of self-restraint (If self-restraint isn’t available, substitute deleting his number from your phone)

• 2 eggs (for cupcakes)

• 2 more eggs (for pondering how only the thinnest of shells protect our yolky, runny insides)

• 2 additional eggs (for pondering egging his dumb fucking car)

1) First, you are going to preheat the oven at 350ºF. Perfect. Just like that. See? You don’t need him. You’re a single girl, taking the city by storm and preheating left and right. Plenty of fish in the sea, and pretty soon, all of those fish will be knocking on your door and begging you to...eat them? That metaphor kind of got away from me.

2) Then, you need to sift the cake flour in a small bowl and slowly — look, I need you to stay focused. Yes, I know your Pandora station just started playing “Someone Like You.” And yes, I know that is a really weird coincidence, especially on 2 Chainz Radio. Fine, okay, sing along. We’re focusing on cupcakes right after this, though.

3) Oh God, please don’t cry. I knew the Adele song was a bad idea.

4) ...

5) Are you all better? Okay. Deep breaths. So, you’re going to want to slowly mix in the butter and food coloring until it reaches a smooth consistency –

6) What? No, I highly doubt that “until it reaches a smooth consistency” is something he used to say to you all the time. What context could you ever be in where that would make sense? And you’re crying again. Great.

7) ...

8) ...

9) It’s just that...ugh. You wanted cupcakes.

10) ...

11) Look, I didn’t want to say this, but Jeremy was kind of a douchebag. I tried to warn you when all he would talk about was how he used to play baseball like ten years ago, but you didn’t listen. Not even when he tried to convince you that open relationships were "cool and very European." Not even when he went through his fedora phase. He said, and I quote, "I want to look like one of those dope mannequins in those Old Navy commercials." You were dating someone who aspired to be a mannequin, Lindsey, a mannequin that smelled like cheap cologne and breathy Jason Mraz covers.

12) Okay, I’m sorry, maybe that was too much. I just — I know you’re in a bad place right now, but...what are you doing with your phone? No, I know for a fact you already beat Angry Birds. Oh my God, Lindsey, look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not passive-aggressively tweeting Drake lyrics. Give me the phone. Come on. Hand it over.

13) What the fuck, Lindsey? "Life’s about forgiveness and second chances so please forgive me for getting mad at you for cheating on me. #ijustcantquityou" I can’t... He’s clearly at fault here. What? Another tweet? "I took her for sushi, she wanted to fuck, so we took it to go, told them don’t even plate it." Oh. Weird. Totally expected a different Drake song.

13) Whatever, all my other points still stand. Lindsey, listen to me, I’m only going to say this once. YOU WERE DATING THE LESSER GIAMBI BROTHER. IT’S OVER NOW. YOU WILL BE FINE WITHOUT HIM.

14) You know what? Screw it.

 

Fun, Practical Recipe For Someone Who Just Recently Went Through A Breakup!

1) Remove carton of Haagen-Daaz ice cream from freezer.

2) Eat directly from carton while repeating all the lines from Dear John as they happen.

 

Ben Gauthier is a high school student in York, Maine, where he is both an aspiring comedy writer and a professional apologizer.

The Humor Section features a piece of original humor writing each week. To submit, send an email to Brian Boone.

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We reported last month that beloved UK sitcom The IT Crowd is returning for a special 40-minute finale episode that's currently filming, and now, there's a chance for you to end up in the episode. Creator Graham Linehan announced on his blog that production is looking for shots of people all over the world to reacting to a shocking video on their laptops with a famous landmark in the background. The deadline is June 25th, so if you happen to live next to a famous world landmark, go ahead and get yourself on TV.

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bestrooftalkever:

rrainking:

I made something really stupid.

I disagree.

This needs a 2x reblog.

This is a video of a guy cosplaying as the QWOP runner (links to game) at Anime North 2013. I'm pretty sure it's the same guy who cosplayed as the QWOP runner at Anime North 2012, but with AN IMPROVED ROUTINE. That's serious commitment to the character. He took a year, practiced hard in his front yard, and probably scared the hell out of his neighbors. *peering out window* HE'S ON DRUGS AND HE'S GONNA HURT HIMSELF. I'm calling the police. Hit the jump for the video. Thanks to Jody, who wants to cosplay as Spider Solitaire. And to Ravlar, who wants to dress up like the Snake game.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Frightened Rabbit does what they do best and turn Best Coast's "The Only Place" into one of the saddest songs you've ever heard.

M. Night Shyamalan wrote the screenplay for She's All That. Let me just repeat that wondrous revelation: M. Night Shyamalan once sat down, presumably in a chair, and wrote the script to the 1990s teen sex comedy She's All That. Let's try it in an offhanded way: M. Night Shyamalan, the mind behind the 1999 exercise in frivolity She's All That, wrote the script for that movie. Add it to the chart!

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How do we become uncrippled?

“Where Have All the Good Times Gone” is a supremely terrible song, right?

Did we fall off somewhere?

Why oh why can’t I be a ghost?

Is 3 PM too late for a tube to show up at your door?

I am at Banana Republic. Shall I buy $16 pants?

Toosh, you live in America. Does “small-town America” exist?

How many hits does a Google search for “skullaska” bring up?

Did you see, perchance, the picture of Philip Roth I drew? 

Have you heard of this syndrome where you’re missing a number of your face bones? 

This milk isn’t to my liking. Can you show me the other milks? 

Hey rainbow baby, you wanna go to San Quentin village with me? Take a dip? Wave to wardens?

Would you prefer a carrot or a sugar cube?

Why does this Mylie Cyrus thing matter?

You wondered what I wondered: why is the knife clean?

Toosh, you in the midwest or something?

Will you please describe Terry Gross’s laugh?

What happens if you google toogle? 

Sleep with a tv or a vcr on your belly?

What do they say before a Snow concert?

John Candy? 

Brent Spiner?

Dentist or sweet sky?

How’s your hamburger looking?

Toosh, it is a new Great Depression?

What’s a Montana gay like? Mincing or manly? A lumberman? A horse-rider?

Hey toosh you wanna play some ‘bee later? 

What’s the grossest liquid to squeeze into your mouth? Mexican plastic bottle punch? Squeez-It? Juicy-Juice?

How do you get to be one of the kids that goes on the White House Easter Egg Hunt?

What were the faces of the ripples like?

Toosh, did I tell you about my taxes?

Lisbon: A world-class city?

What’s the sound of Japanese people thinking?

Have you seen hot John McCain? 

How old? Rock-old? Stegosaurus-old? Baby-old?

There’s no good way for an average citizen to defend themselves from a civil suit. Or is there?

Have you ever seen “Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?”?

You ever seen “Watcher in the Woods?”

You like-a Ladyhawke? 

You ever seen the Dana Carvey show?

You ever see “The Iron Giant”?

Have you seen Picnic?

You like-a Ladyhawke?

Is Seinfeld to blame for the short intro?

What hooed your woo, Toosh?

Tough row to hoe? Is that a thing that is said?

Are you hotstuff? (one word)

It’s easier to feel sympathy when an attractive person goes nuts, right?

Could you make money from a T-shirt that read HORNY RASCAL?

Sleep or pinball? 

Can you describe your reaction to Beverly Hills Chihuahua? 

Did you and your brother ever go on Kid’s Court?

Toosh, did you hear? There’s going to be a run on the banks?

How stabbed did the guy get?

I should like some advice, and would like that advice to be tempered by some acknowledgment of fraility. Should I think you above your dalliances?

Kelsey Grammar’s skull distresses me. What is hiding in the forehead?

What should a man’s room smell like?  Hills? Plains? Thundercloud? Science? Metal? Forest? Modern Windmill? Steel-Cut Oats? Impound Lot Blacktop? Power Plant? Spice Market? Train Platform? Knife Blade? 

You know what I was obsessed with? –What?- Construction paper chains.

What do you call that magic link between a boy a girl?

WHAT IS CAT FANCY?

Would it be totally f’ed to have a Blackberry?

Where are you? Down at the clownpound?

Shouldn’t you be at a lake?

Shouldn’t you be napping? 

What’s up with music festivals?

Why is my nose a triangle?

Do you like the song “Band of Gold”?

Doritos of all different flavors, or mashed-up into dust?

Can I get your poopinion?

Wanna see my internet face?

What’s your feelings about Norm MacDonald?

How do you feel about the idea of Driveway Moments?

Do you have Tay-Sachs of the brain sperm?

How bad is a pleated front?

What do what do what do what do I desire? 

Do you think the duck is being handled gently?

Are Rolos always taller than you expect?

My teeth hurt. What’s it gonna take to get you to care?

Where should I go in Chokeland? Snooty’s? Bartgolomew’s? Haldnack’s Squat?

Why do you want me dead, Toosh?

Who is that bag-headed man with whom I share this floor? 

You ever get all loose on the keys?

Do you want my room to be a mess or do you want it to be clean? 

Do you want to take the bike smuttle with me? 

What does gay horse rain eat? Baby Dubble Dubs?

What is a product or service that you have considered buying where a pitch from Jay Mohr would push you over the edge? How about Queen Latifah?

It should be in your email pants. Are you wearing them?

Are you at a wifi café? Is it called Tag’s House? 

Which season rocks harder? SUMMAR? or WINTOR?

I just got two calls from the 408 area code. Didn’t pick up. It’s a guy calling for Thomas, saying something has dropped 63-68% in the last hour. Now I am worried. Who has my identity now? Am I secretly invested in some stock?

The photo above, by Kyle McBurnie, won the University of Miami's Rosenstiel School of Marine and Atmospheric Science's 2013 Underwater Photography Contest that's open only to amateurs, defined as "photographers who earn no more than 20 percent of their income from photography." The beautiful beastie is a harbor seal (Phoca vitulina) in a kelp forest at Cortes Bank, about 100 miles west of San Diego, California.

When it comes to acceptance of LGBT people, the United States is far from being the most tolerant country in the world.

According to a report released last week by the Pew Research Center, attitudes about homosexuality in society vary widely based on geography — but less by religion than you might expect. Pew asked more than 37,000 participants in 39 countries whether “homosexuality should be accepted or rejected by society,” and found widespread geographical differences in responses.

The Washington Post summarizes the findings:

The broadest acceptance was found in countries where religion is not central to life, such as Canada (80 percent), France (77 percent) and Australia (79 percent). Yet the poll also found high levels of tolerance toward gay people in some heavily Catholic countries, including Spain (86 percent), Italy (74 percent), Argentina (74 percent) and the Philippines (73 percent). In the United States, 60 percent of the public said gay people should be accepted in society.

It’s interesting to paint France as a country where religion isn’t a major influence, considering conservative Catholics have been at the forefront of an often violent movement protesting the country’s new marriage equality law. However, while Catholic countries seem to be erring on the side of acceptance, Muslim countries are not:

In contrast, there was widespread rejection of homosexuality in predominantly Muslim countries, as well as in Africa, Russia and parts of Asia. In most of the Middle East, including Egypt and Jordan, more than nine in 10 people said homosexuality should be rejected. That was also the case in most of Africa, including Kenya, Uganda and Nigeria…

Israel in particular illustrated the role religion plays in attitudes toward gay people. Six in 10 secular Jews in Israel told Pew that homosexuality should be accepted, more than twice the 26 percent of religious and ultra-Orthodox Jews who urged acceptance. Just 2 percent of Israeli Muslims agreed.

Pew reports that attitudes toward homosexuality have been generally stable over the last six years in most countries — except in the U.S., Canada, and South Korea, where acceptance has shot up by more than 10% each, and in France, Russia, and Turkey, where it’s dropped a few points.

Why the discrepancy between acceptance rates in countries with similarly huge religious influences? Gary Gates, a demographer with the Williams Institute at UCLA, told the Post it’s less about the legal standing of LGBT people in a certain country and more about the culture of a religion:

“There are cultures where religion is a very, very important factor, as a regular part of daily life,” he said. “In those countries, it’s harder to distinguish what’s religious and what’s culture. But in other countries, like Italy or Spain, the culture has always had a live-and-let-live dimension to it. Even with a very strong religious presence, you see that kind of attitude coming out.”

What I gather from this is that even the world’s most Catholic countries (hello, Spain and Italy!) are more tolerant of LGBT people than the United States, and that’s a little scary. According to these numbers, the U.S. touts itself as far more accepting — and more secular — than it actually is.

This article seems to say that legal equality for LGBT people doesn’t have a great deal of influence on acceptance of homosexuality, like in South Africa, where anti-gay discrimination is unconstitutional, yet 60% of the population doesn’t accept homosexuality. As the U.S. moves closer to ending DOMA and Prop 8 and abolishing discrimination in other ways, I can only hope we prove that trend wrong.

Comedian Tim Minchin has been tapped by DreamWorks to do the music for a new animated film, the studio announced last week. The movie is set in Australia, where Minchin grew up, and it's called Larrikins, which is Australian slang for mischievous youth. Larrikins follows a marsupial venturing out of his family's burrow for a musical adventure across the Australian outback.

Minchin said in the press release, "I was lucky enough to grow-up in Western Australia and know that the Australian outback is vast and spell-binding and heart-stoppingly beautiful, and the characters that inhabit it are unique and hilarious and tough and cheeky. I am hugely excited to be working with [writer] Harry [Cripps] and the DreamWorks Animation team in their mission to capture some of this unique aesthetic and quirky, iconoclastic culture on film. It's going to be bloody good fun."

Minchin, who was recently nominated for a Tony for co-writing Matilda the Musical, will write the music and lyrics for Larrikins, in addition taking on a creative role. It'll be pretty exciting for fans of Minchin's comedy if this ends up being the next Shrek.

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unicornism:

I illustrated every single episode of The Dog Whisperer.

TSCH!

TweetsofOld

G. M. Chumasero, a druggist, died a few days ago from taking 20 grains of opium. He took it to frighten his wife into obeying him. OH1869 Reply | RT

Mens: Black Womens: Black

Hollywood has decided to turn The Little Prince into a movie (again), but this time, it'll be animated andinclude a heavy-hitting cast of A-listers.

The 1943 classic by Antoine de Saint-Exupery has been adapted into a handful of films already, but never with quite so much Hollywood power. Kung Fu Panda's Mark Osborne is set to direct The Little Prince, and so far, the cast includes James Franco, Rachel McAdams, Jeff Bridges, Marion Cotillard, Benicio Del Toro, and Paul Giamatti. Three Oscar winners, and counting!

Bridges is set to voice the pilot who finds the prince in the Sahara desert, and while the actor behind the prince himself has yet to be revealed, we're seriously hoping they pick a child for the voice (and not Franco). The guy is versatile, we'll give him that, but this role might be a stretch. Also, fingers crossed it doesn't fall into the same uncanny valley as The Polar Express.

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nbc30rock

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi. #30Rock Reply | RT

electrolemon

RT @cakemittens: Damn girl you must not cite your sources, cause I'm wondering where you got that figure. Reply | RT

klartie:

i do believe i won this round of “best yearbook quote” 

10 points for megan

Someone compiled all of the audience "Oooohs" in Saved by the Bell and it sounds like a roller coaster of teen group-think hysteria.

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♪ Sugarfoot, yeah!,

Sugarfoot, yes…

Na, na, na…♪

HUCHAH!!!