Shared posts

01 Nov 16:37

Haves and have nots in the rain department around Houston yesterday

by Matt Lanza

In brief: After yesterday’s smattering of decent rain in spots, Houston will continue to see at least spotty to scattered showers and storms the next several days. A cool front is expected to disrupt the warm and humid weather early next week, with some uncertainty on just how far through the area it gets. Also, don’t forget to turn back the clocks tomorrow night!

Houston saw a wide range of rainfall yesterday, with a couple of areas clearly cashing in, while others struggled. The big winners were in Richmond, Rosenberg, and just west of Sugar Land, where close to 4 inches fell. Galveston and Brazoria Counties did well also with a general 1 to 3 inches in most spots. Beaumont did well to our east, as did Brookshire to our west. All in all, I’d venture to guess that about 60 percent of you are pleased with what has fallen so far, while the other 40 percent are smarting a little.

Anywhere you see yellow, at least 2 to 3 inches of rain fell yesterday. (NOAA NSSL MRMS)

The good news is that we are not quite done with the rain yet, but the bad news is that it will be very spotty over the next few days.

Today through Sunday

Look for sun, clouds, and a smattering of showers each day. Exactly where and when these occur is impossible to predict, but the environment is supportive of at least a 30 to 40 percent rain chance each day. No need to alter plans, but have a spot in mind to scoot to if it rains for a brief time. Highs will be generally in the low to mid-80s with lows in the 70s and muggy conditions.

Don’t forget to change your clocks! (NWS Houston)

Oh, and don’t forget to set the clocks back an hour tomorrow night. I used to joke that I would have to adjust my temperature forecasts because of “one hour less daylight.” Meteorologist humor.

Anyway, have the umbrella handy but hopefully the rain won’t bother you too much.

Monday and beyond

Next week will be a bit of a tricky forecast. Monday should start off much like the weekend with high humidity, warm, and humid conditions. We’ll continue a chance of a shower or storm. On Monday night, a cold front will approach Houston. It should push through the area, but there are hints in model guidance that the front will probably stall near the coast or just offshore. Assuming that happens, we will turn slightly cooler and less humid on Tuesday and Wednesday. I’d expect highs in the 70s and lows in the 60s.

A cold front will likely stall near the coast on Tuesday, perhaps allowing the Houston area to turn a little cooler and less humid for a day or two. (NOAA WPC)

Nothing too special there, but it’ll feel refreshing at least! That front may actually come through with a little oomph on Tuesday morning, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see a line of thunderstorms douse everyone with a half-inch to inch of rain and some thunder.

After Wednesday, the front will probably push back onshore Thursday, ushering back in warm and somewhat humid conditions before the next front. When will that arrive? Maybe next weekend? We’ll see. Model guidance has been a little wonky in the extended range lately in terms of timing and strength of fronts, so I don’t want to overpromise anything.

Tropics

Yes, it’s November 1st, and yes Houston’s hurricane season is (historically) done. We don’t need to worry about the system in the Caribbean with a 70 percent chance of development.

A Caribbean disturbance has a decent chance of developing into a tropical system next week. While it is unlikely to come to the western Gulf, if you are planning a trip to Central America or the Caribbean next week, you should monitor this. (NOAA NHC)

However, it could be a player in the weather across the western Caribbean next week. We can’t get too specific on anyone’s forecast, but if you’ll be traveling to the western Caribbean or Central America next week, keep tabs on things at our companion site, The Eyewall.

01 Nov 16:35

Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches

by Devorah Blachor

“Former President Trump is sowing doubt about the election results in Pennsylvania less than one week before Election Day, making explosive and misleading claims about fraud.” — The Hill

- - -

This election [WILL BE / IS / WAS] rigged! They have illegally stolen this election from me by using [MAIL-IN BALLOTS / EARLY VOTING / DOMINION MACHINES / THE BASIC MATHEMATIC PRINCIPLE OF COUNTING VOTES].

It’s so obvious that Democrats are stealing the election. And no, this isn’t a projection, although some people claim it is because recently [REPUBLICAN TINA PETERS WAS FOUND GUILTY AND JAILED FOR TAMPERING WITH VOTING MACHINES IN COLORADO / ANOTHER REPUBLICAN OFFICIAL WAS FOUND GUILTY OF VOTING OFTEN AND ILLEGALLY IN GEORGIA / STILL ANOTHER REPUBLICAN WAS FOUND GUILTY AND IMPRISONED FOR VOTER FRAUD IN IOWA / BALLOT BOXES IN OREGON AND WASHINGTON WERE VANDALIZED / A TRUMP FAN HARRASSED VOTERS AT A POLLING STATION IN PENNSYLVANIA / ELON MUSK’S MOM TOLD HER FOLLOWERS TO VOTE MORE THAN ONCE USING FAKE NAMES].

It’s exactly like the last time Democrats stole the election from me. Remember that? It seems like only yesterday when [I ASKED GEORGIA’S SECRETARY OF STATE BRAD RAFFENSPERGER TO FIND ME 11,780 VOTES TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION RESULTS / I PRESSURED MIKE PENCE TO OVERTURN THE ELECTION RESULTS / RUDY GIULIANI TRIED TO PERSUADE LEGISLATORS TO OVERTHROW THE ELECTION RESULTS / RUDY GIULIANI IMMORTALIZED THE FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING BUSINESS IN HOLMESBURG, PENNSYLVANIA].

Those evil Democrats steal everything, don’t they? And stealing is clearly immoral, just like [STEALING MONEY FROM STUDENTS / STEALING CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM THE GOVERNMENT / SETTING UP A SHELL COMPANY TO STEAL MONEY FROM YOUR OWN COMPANY AND THEN FALSIFYING DOCUMENTS SO YOU CAN PAY OFF A PORN STAR IN ORDER TO HIDE THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR WHILE YOU’RE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT IN 2016].

Voter fraud is the only possible explanation for why I [WON’T BE / AM NOT / WASN’T] the winner of a landslide victory. Why else would voters not choose me, the man who [HOO BOY WHERE DO I EVEN START? / THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE OF THE LONGEST LISTS IN HISTORY / HONESTLY, IT’S WAY TOO LONG FOR A SHORT SATIRE PIECE, SO JUST CLICK HERE]?

As I’ve said many times and so famously that it’s evolved into a TikTok trend, illegals are coming into the country to eat the dogs and cats, but they’ve also come to steal the election. I know that just saying the word “illegals” will likely trigger your [KNEEJERK / XENOPHOBIC / RACIST AND DEEPLY IGNORANT / HINCHCLIFFE-STYLE JOKE] response. I just hope all that baseless hatred [WILL GET / IS GETTING / GOT] enough of you to the voting booth, and even if not, the important thing is that I [HAVE ONCE AGAIN USED DEHUMANIZING LANGUAGE / WILL CLAIM VICTORY ANYWAY LIKE I DID LAST TIME / AM ONE OF THE MOST LYING, GRIFTING, CORRUPT HUMANS TO HAVE EVER WALKED THIS EARTH].

Did you know that Kamala Harris and Tim Walz also stole FEMA money to bring more illegals into the country so that they’d get their votes? That lie is just another reason you should fear immigrants, apart from the fact that [THEY’RE NOT WHITE / I’M FALSELY CLAIMING THEY’RE BUILDING AN ARMY TO SCARE THE BEJESUS OUT OF YOU / ONE OF THEM IS STILL MARRIED TO ME].

Don’t listen to the haters who say there’s no evidence of massive voter fraud—they’re the ones who are lying! You want proof? I have zero, but my claims are supported by some of our most illustrious citizens, such as [MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE / MATT GAETZ / RUDY GIULIANI AGAIN / MY PILLOW GUY MIKE LINDELL / ALEX JONES PROBABLY / HULK HOGAN]. In fact, even as I shout voter fraud again, highly respected businessman Elon Musk is probably quote-tweeting my claims right now with an added [“HMM” / “WOW” / RAISED EYEBROW EMOJI] just after he [SUGGESTED SOMEONE ASSASSINATE JOE BIDEN OR KAMALA HARRIS / PROMOTED SOME NUT TALKING ABOUT THE GREAT REPLACEMENT THEORY / WONDERED ALOUD IF “WOMEN IN ACADEMIA CAUSED WOKENESS” / HAD A BATSHIT CRAZY INTERACTION WITH (JORDAN PETERSON / CHARLIE KIRK / CATTURD)].

It is truly unthinkable that someone like Kamala Harris can win the presidency by [BEING A BETTER CANDIDATE / WINNING THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE / HAVING WISELY SELECTED A RUNNING MATE WHO DOESN’T GIVE SIDESHOW BOB LEVELS OF CREEPINESS]. And what makes it even worse is that this whole thing is the work of an Illuminati plot led by [ANTHONY FAUCI / GEORGE SOROS/ BILL GATES / NANCY PELOSI / OPRAH AND GAYLE].

Well, I guess it’s time to plan another [HISSY FIT / LAUNCH OF A BUSINESS THAT WILL LIKELY GO BANKRUPT / INSURRECTION]. Remember, don’t believe anything that you [SEE / HEAR / KNOW TO BE TRUE]. As my supporters understand, my words are the only possible truth, and what my lips are saying now is [CLICK HERE TO GIVE ME MORE MONEY / PLEASE CALL ME BACK, VLAD / #TRUMPMAGA2028].

01 Nov 13:31

Halloween Candy Ratings by Cost and Love

by Nathan Yau

This is very important. How did your favorite candy rate?

 

The old FiveThirtyEight ran a head-to-head between Halloween candies years ago. I used the data for the above, which should be taken very seriously.

Tags: candy, Halloween

01 Nov 13:28

A pregnant teenager died after trying to get care in three visits to Texas emergency rooms

by By Lizzie Presser and Kavitha Surana, ProPublica
It took 20 hours and three ER visits before doctors admitted the pregnant 18-year-old to the hospital as her condition worsened. She’s one of at least two women who died under Texas’ abortion ban.
01 Nov 13:27

my boss wrote a poem about us but left people out, I doubt my boss’s nephew is really a genius, and more

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go…

1. My new boss wrote a poem about our team … but only some of us

My company has an annual team-building outing, which is traditionally the occasion for higher management to express their gratitude to the employees. At least, that was what I was picking up from the trip, as I’ve only started working here recently.

One of the gestures my grandboss made to express her thankfulness for us was to write a poem about our hard work. The thing is, she manages two teams— let’s call them team A and B — and her poem was only about team A.

I’m on team B. To be fair to her, my team was part of team A until pretty recently, and we are comprised mostly of newbies, my boss included. Because of the nature of our work, we do not interact with our grandboss as much as team A. Still, it’s hard not to feel slighted when her poem listed out the names of every single member in team A, and not once mentioned the people in team B. All her other gestures addressed her employees as a whole, but the poem made me wonder if she only intended her praises and encouragement for team A.

She’s been a stellar supervisor otherwise, and neither of my teammates nor my boss seem to be bothered by the, in my opinion, preferential treatment. Should I just let it go?

I feel like it’s something important to bring up though, mostly because it reflects poorly on her as a manager. How do I bring this issue up delicately? Should I speak to her privately or should I give my feedback during the annual manager review? Or again, is it this worth making a big deal at all?

Let it go. It’s true that big public expressions of appreciation shouldn’t favor only some of the people a manager manages (unless it was specific to a project they did or something like that). But I can see this happening if she knows Team A well and has worked with them a long time, and those things aren’t true yet of Team B. It still wasn’t very graceful, but it’s not a big enough deal to raise with her; if you do, you risk looking a little precious, especially as a new employee.

You say she’s been a great manager otherwise, and that’s more important.

2. Employer is requiring us to install software on our personal computers

I am a doctoral student at a major U.S. university. Everyone in my grad program is employed by the university in some capacity: some of us teach classes; others are hired as researchers. However, this doesn’t function like a normal workplace in many ways, including that there are no work computers provided. This is a huge expense for people, and unfortunately it’s very common in academia.

The other day, we received an email from IT that all university devices will be required to have a particular antivirus software installed on them. I thought, no problem, I don’t have a university device. But then I read the fine print and realized their definition of “university device” covers any personal device used for university business — which includes all of our personal computers.

Apparently if we don’t comply by a certain date, our devices will be locked out of the campus wifi and other essential campus IT infrastructure. The justification given is that other devices in a network could be compromised if one insecure device is hacked. That may be true! But the particular software (there are no alternative options) brags of its AI virus detection, and apparently, if the AI erroneously blocks a legitimate program we’re trying to download, we can contact IT to have it unblocked within 48 hours. (48 hours???) It also says that the software does not share personal data … except in cases where “adverse events” are detected, and they are extremely vague about what would constitute an adverse event.

I am deeply uncomfortable with this. As a matter of principle, I’m grossed out by the lack of ethical oversight of AI and would like to opt out as much as I can. More to the point, this is my personal computer! I use it for, well, very personal things that I really don’t want my employer to see (outside of work time, of course!) The university has not given me reason to trust their judgment in the past, and I don’t trust that this software will keep my data private. I also have my own risk tolerance for downloading open-source software from the internet, and I don’t relish having to go through IT to get downloads unblocked, especially if they have nothing to do with work.

Do I have any options? Obviously, this is what work computers are for, but there’s no funding for them and I can’t afford to buy a second laptop. (Nor can most of my peers! People are already using absolutely ancient laptops because they couldn’t afford new ones in the first place.) We do have a union, which I am active in, and there’s a possibility that we could push back collectively on this, but the timeline for getting it resolved is likely to exceed the time they’ve given us to comply with this order.

Also, nobody else seems to be upset. Did they just not read the email? Am I wildly overreacting? Maybe this is just a necessary change to the technology … but I feel very trapped.

You’re not overreacting; this is a massive overreach with significant privacy implications for your personal devices. It would be different if these were work-provided computers, but they’re not. And I suspect the reason no one else is upset is because they didn’t pay much attention to the email or haven’t thought through all the implications.

Legally, you don’t have much to stand on. Employers can require you to use your personal devices, and they can require you to install all sorts of invasive programs when you do. But you potentially have power in numbers, if enough of you push back on this. Talk to your union, and talk to your colleagues. Spell out exactly what they’re agreeing to if they install this software. (And why is it not an option to simply agree to install anti-virus software on your device that you select and control? That’s what I’d push for.)

3. I doubt my boss’s nephew is really a genius

My boss has hired her nephew to work part-time in our department. He’s 18 years old, fresh out of high school and I believe this is his first job (we do accounts receivable for a 2,500-person company). There are two supervisors in our department, me and another person. My boss made her nephew my direct report (without even discussing it with me!) and he is my only direct report; the other supervisor has no direct reports at all.

My issue with is probably not a big deal, but I’m still annoyed. At least once a week my boss refers to her nephew as a genius (“Genius Nephew has come up with a more efficient way to do X!” or “Nephew had a genius idea about Y!”) and it really annoys me; sure he’s smart enough I guess, but I doubt he’s actually a genius.

I am very hesitant to bring it up to my boss herself because when I’ve brought up other issues regarding the nephew in the past, she has justified his behavior even though one example of what he did (pushing off his research onto another department) is something she has expressly told the rest of us that we are not to do.

With some recent reorganizations, my boss has a new boss and honestly I would love to bring this up with him and hopefully he would see this situation as problematic and then we could hire someone other than my boss’s nephew, who would be able to work full-time AND not be the boss’s nephew OR my direct report.

Should I even bother to bring this up with my grandboss or should I just internally roll my eyes and let it go?

The issue is less that your boss thinks her nephew is a genius and more that she hired her nephew to work under you, which puts you in an impossible situation as far as managing him goes. The genius stuff is a subset of that larger problem; it shows a bias in his favor that’s probably connected to their familiar relationship, but even if she weren’t so effusive about his incredible brain, hiring him into her chain of command would still be a problem.

So yes, talk to your boss’s new boss! He may not even realize that your boss hired her own nephew and stuck you with managing him, so lay out the situation for him and whatever problems you’ve seen so far.

4. Hot desking and when to clock in

I recently started working at a place with a hot desk, and clean desk, policy. At the end of the day, we put our laptop, notebooks, etc. in our individual lockers, and at the beginning of the day we take our things out of our lockers and set them up at our usually-new desks. I have no issues with this: we only have to be in the office two days a week, and get to work from home the other three days, so this like a perfectly fair compromise to me.

My question is: should the time I spend setting up my things when I arrive, and putting away my things when I leave, be counted as working time? We use timesheets to clock in and out every day.

In past jobs I’ve counted my clock-in time as being when I’m logged in and online, but that’s in jobs where I’m always at the same desk so am not required to set up every day. It doesn’t take that long (probably five minutes on either end), but I’d still like a definitive answer. Thoughts?

It should be paid time. Federal law requires you to be paid for activities before and after your work shift if they are “an integral and indispensable part of the principal activities” for which you’re employed. An activity is integral and indispensable if it is “one with which the employee cannot dispense if they are to perform their principal activities.” You need to set up your work station in order to perform your job, and you are required to put things away when you leave, so doing that should be paid time.

01 Nov 13:16

The Trump Campaign Distances Itself from Tony Hinchcliffe’s Joke About Puerto Rico Because It Was Not Actually a Joke

by Carlos Greaves

“The stand-up comedian Tony Hinchcliffe took the stage early in former President Donald J. Trump’s rally at Madison Square Garden on Sunday, hurling a wave of insults and vulgar statements at minority groups including Jews, Latinos and African Americans.” — New York Times

- - -

After President Trump’s sold-out rally in Madison Square Garden this weekend, the mainstream media has been attempting to tear down his campaign by blowing some of the speakers’ remarks way out of proportion. Still, given the backlash, we would like to clarify that President Trump does not condone comedian Tony Hinchcliffe’s joke about Puerto Rico being a floating garbage island. Because President Trump did not believe it was actually a joke.

When Hinchcliffe, a well-respected podcaster whom many twenty-something white men have heard of, spoke in front of the massive crowd of 300,000 patriots and Dr. Phil, he called Puerto Rico a “floating island of garbage.” Unfortunately, after receiving pushback on social media about the comment, Hinchcliffe claimed he was “only joking” and said he “loves” Puerto Rico and even “vacations there.”

President Trump, on the other hand, believes that Puerto Rico is no laughing matter, considering it’s a very real island made entirely of floating refuse a thousand miles southeast of Florida. It’s unfortunate that Hinchcliffe would walk back his comments rather than double down, as Trump so courageously does in these situations.

Some say it’s absurd to think there’s a five-thousand-square-mile patch of floating debris stable enough to build houses and roads on. But if the Democrats can create category-five hurricanes and rig elections without leaving a trace, is it that far-fetched to believe they could construct islands made of junk?

The fact that Puerto Rico is a literal island of garbage created by the Democrats is the only logical explanation for why our campaign would walk back Hinchcliffe’s non-joke joke. After all, President Trump’s position on Latinos and other immigrants is consistent: They come from shithole places and are either criminals or insane asylum escapees. And it doesn’t get much more “shithole” than an island made out of random crap—even if its residents are US citizens.

It also explains why Trump deliberately withheld funding for the island after Hurricane Maria. Because to withhold desperately needed money from US citizens on a real island (and not a floating garbage island built by Democrats) would have just been unspeakably cruel.

Puerto Rico is obviously a long con perpetrated by Democrats to juice their numbers while making Trump look bad. Just look at the Puerto Ricans who have come out in support of the Harris campaign. We don’t know much about this Bad Bunny chick. Sexy name aside, it’s clear she’s just another low-IQ individual who supports Harris’s woke agenda of basic rights for women and less poverty.

As for the other speakers at last night’s rally, which, by the way, was attended by nearly one million red-blooded Americans and Rudy Giuliani, there is nothing else the campaign would like to walk back. Yes, one speaker called Harris “the Antichrist,” and another claimed she was the “least qualified candidate to ever run for any political office in American history” and that “she and her pimp handlers will destroy our country.”

These statements are logically consistent and true, so there’s no need to qualify or distance our campaign from them. It is well-known that Satan, a notorious pimp, spawned Harris and is dictating her every move. That’s why she went to law school and became a district attorney, attorney general, senator, and vice president (none of which are helpful job experiences for the presidency), all while turning tricks on the streets of San Francisco. Now Harris is running for president so she can usher in the apocalypse and launch the unholy reign of Satan. So, please tell us, what exactly is there to walk back?

And we won’t even bother addressing Hinchcliffe’s other statements, like about carving watermelons with Black people. The same goes for Tucker Carlson calling Harris “Samoan or Malaysian” or the tsunami of other things said by other speakers before the record crowd of ten million billionaires, golfers, tech bros, Joe Rogan fans, election deniers, and Hulk Hogan at Madison Square Garden.

But rest assured, if those comments start to make waves, we’ll be sure to explain them away as well.

01 Nov 13:16

Deshaun Watson Figures Now A Good Time To Get Into Dog Fighting

by The Onion Staff

CLEVELAND—Discussing how his season-ending injury had inspired him to explore other interests, Cleveland Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson told reporters this week that now might be a good time to get into dog fighting. “Before, my life was just football, but now I actually have the time, energy, and drive to get into hobbies like canine blood sport,” said Watson, adding that his Achilles tendon surgery and expected recovery of six to nine months had given him a “rare and beautiful” opportunity to finally begin buying and training pit bulls to illegally fight each other to the death in his basement. “In some ways, it’s been hard not being able to go to practice every day, but this might just be the kick I need to start chaining up starved dogs outside my house and then unleashing them in a ring while my friends and I cheer. Up until now, I’ve just never had the capacity to really explore animal abuse. But luckily, that all changes today.” At press time, Cleveland Browns fans announced they had already forgiven Watson for the federal felony charges, conviction, and prison sentence that he would inevitably face.

The post Deshaun Watson Figures Now A Good Time To Get Into Dog Fighting appeared first on The Onion.

01 Nov 13:15

Pros And Cons Of Making Election Day A Federal Holiday

by The Onion Staff

As designated by Congress in 1845, election day falls on the first Tuesday following the first Monday of November every year. The Onion examines the pros and cons of making election day a federal holiday. 

PRO: Won’t have to waste PTO on stealing an election 

CON: Spending three hours in line even worse if it’s a holiday

PRO: Gives everyone a chance to exercise their right to play NBA Jam

CON: Was planning to go to the bank that day

PRO: Perfect opportunity to stay home and stress-eat the rest of your Halloween candy

CON: Brings the government into our elections

PRO: I mean, they have to give us Monday off too, right? You can’t just leave Monday in the middle like that. 

CON: Can’t start acting like voting matters this late in the democracy game

PRO: Would teach children value of staying glued to cable news coverage for nine hours straight

CON: Voting gives workers a dangerous sense of control over lives

The post Pros And Cons Of Making Election Day A Federal Holiday appeared first on The Onion.

01 Nov 13:14

Historians Unearth Final Fundraising Telegraph Hitler Sent From Bunker

by The Onion Staff

BERLIN—In a discovery that sheds new light on the infamous dictator’s last moments, historians in Berlin confirmed Friday that they had unearthed the final fundraising telegraph Hitler sent from the Führerbunker. “After unearthing the telegraph titled ‘Freunde, es ist Adolf’ and dated April 24, 1945 amongst archival files, we quickly realized that the document contained Hitler’s last-minute plea for donations amid the Red Army’s offensive into Berlin,” said German historian Hilda Bauer, adding that the fundraising message reportedly attempted to energize the Nazi base by featuring a celebrity endorsement from Leni Riefenstahl. “We now know that right up until he shot himself in the Führerbunker, Hitler continued angling for a major cash infusion by telling Germans that the next few days were ‘critical to continuing their Thousand-Year Reich,’ as well as emphasizing that the Soviets were ‘THIS CLOSE to taking Berlin unless pure-blooded Aryans act now.’ While telling Germans that his ‘one last ask’ for their 20-Reichsmark donation would help keep the Red Army out of the Reich Chancellery no doubt helped net him a few extra donations, he ultimately took his life a few days later after news outlets began calling the war for the Allies.” At press time, historians had reportedly unearthed an additional fundraising telegraph from Joseph Goebbels offering to enter donors into a raffle to grab beers with him and Martin Bormann.

The post Historians Unearth Final Fundraising Telegraph Hitler Sent From Bunker appeared first on The Onion.

01 Nov 13:14

Elon Musk Claims Trump Economic Plan Would Cause Hardship

by The Onion Staff

Elon Musk claimed that if Donald Trump puts him in charge of government efficiency, as planned, he can cut “at least $2 trillion” from the current federal budget, saying spending cuts imposed by the commission would “necessarily involve some temporary hardship.” What do you think?

“Democrats would never have the guts to give me hardship.”

Mike Oberg, Paint Mixer

“Yeah, everyone knows the whole point of voting for Trump is to hurt people.”

Nelson Fogarty, Award Recipient

“With any luck, some of the suffering will trickle up.”

Shawna Muckleroy, Systems Analyst

The post Elon Musk Claims Trump Economic Plan Would Cause Hardship appeared first on The Onion.

01 Nov 13:13

Las Vegas Unveils New Swim-Up Voting Booths

by The Onion Staff
01 Nov 01:26

Boney Goes Big: An Interview with Josué Del Fresco

by Natalie Hegert

“I was just being a punk back then,” says Josué Del Fresco, reflecting on his young art school dropout days. “Dada, anti-art, just anti-everything.” 

The artist, dressed in a colorful button-up shirt with spoons on it, the hair at his temples dyed a shocking yellow, recently turned thirty. In his solo show, DA ¡¡ BIG !! NADA, at Charles Adams Gallery in Lubbock, he says he’s looking back on his twenties, fulfilling ideas he’s had stored away in notebooks over the years and reminiscing about the “old times.” The ambitious and stylistically diverse work — from oversized sculptures of everyday objects to small painted sketches on paper — is naïve in sensibility, yet polished in execution and display. Taken all together, DA ¡¡ BIG !! NADA showcases an artist with vision and zeal, a strong sense of personal iconography, an experimental drive, and irrepressible humor. It’s not nothing, that’s for sure.

A small gallery packed full of paintings and sculptures on the floors and walls.

Installation view Josué Del Fresco, DA ¡¡ BIG !! NADA

“I grew up in the Guadalupe area across the tracks over there,” Del Fresco tells me, gesturing towards the North Lubbock neighborhood a stone’s throw from the downtown arts district. His youth was spent riding bikes, skating, and playing basketball. “[I] used to have hoop dreams,” he confesses. He was always good at art, he remembers, getting conscripted for group projects and asked to draw things for people in school. “I remember drawing people’s names and just doing stuff, little tags and whatnot,” he says. But he only really got into art after high school, getting an associate’s degree from South Plains College, and, later, taking classes at Texas Tech, where the academic setting grated on him.

His breakout exhibition took place in 2017 at the Louise Hopkins Underwood Center for the Arts, under the name Josué Galvan. Long-time LHUCA curator “Linda Cullum gave me a show in the John Lott gallery,” he recalls. “She gave me a shot. She found me.” Working with Charles Adams Gallery owner Zach Morris in the frame shop and installing exhibitions in the gallery provided another opportunity for a big solo show. 

Del Fresco goes by a handful of different names, attributing the works in his current show to various personae, such as Josué Galvan, Yösh Steelbonez, Boney Gumball, Ritchie Dagger, Ritchie Del, and others. “It’s just names you acquire,” he says. “Back in the early days, I wanted to be like Picasso, and have one name. I didn’t want to use my real name.”

A faux graffiti painting with the word "Boney" painted a top a silver and black skyline.

Boney Gumball, Street Songs, 2024

One large painting features the name “BONEY” in old-school bubble-style lettering outlined in black paint over silver, sprayed on faux brick texture. “That’s really the city of Lubbock right here,” he says. “That’s the skyline.” In the corner, Del Fresco includes a “shadow man,” in homage to 80s New York street art legend Richard Hambleton.

A wooden sculpture which resembles a city is comprised of small strips of painted wood.

Josué Galvan, Downtown ’81, 2016-24

The references are everywhere to be found. “I’m really, into the ‘80s,” he says, rattling off icons and influences like Jean-Michel Basquiat, Andy Warhol, and Beat Street. One of his favorite pieces in the show, a wooden pallet painted like city buildings with a light bulb built in, he titled after the Basquiat movie Downtown ‘81. The dynamic spirit of ‘70s-‘80s-era New York inspires him: “during those times, everybody’s experimenting, everybody’s coming out, everybody’s together,” he says.

A paainting of figures moving chaotically at a small concert.

Yösh Steelbonez, Wronside, 2024

Lubbock’s underground scene likewise inspires Del Fresco. One canvas, Wronside, depicts the frenetic energy of a show at the eponymous house venue, with twisting, distorted figures outlined in bold black strokes, moshing in the pit, while a frontman shouts through a megaphone. Del Fresco includes a self-portrait in the lower right corner, with green skin, sunglasses, and a big grin. “That’s me, a fly on the wall,” he says.

In Charles Adams Gallery, Del Fresco arranged paintings across all of the movable walls, which he painted with streaks of blue to resemble glaciers. Using every available inch, the center of the gallery is stocked with mixed media sculptures, among them a very realistic giant purple hairbrush, replete with green hair between the bristles. It’s hard to imagine, but he made all these objects in his bedroom studio. “My room is way too small. Everything’s way too big,” he laughs. “It was hard to get this big old brush out of the door.”

A sculpture of an over-sized hairbrush with green hair stuck to it.

Del Fresco, Ritchie’s Hairbrush (detail), 2024

His use of materials—drywall mud, spray texture, house paint, repurposed objects—derives from his experiences working with his dad remodeling houses. For one piece, he created a chunky sol-shaped wall piece with a convex security mirror in the center. “I knew I wanted a mirror in the show. Because, you know, people love to take pictures,” he says, referring to the selfie-loving crowds at Lubbock’s First Friday Art Trail.

At the opening of DA ¡¡ BIG !! NADA, Del Fresco offered visitors the chance to leave feedback cards in a suggestion box. “Funky, I like,” he says, reading one of the cards out loud. “The biggest nada,” said another one.

“Some people say everything’s so different, but it all works,” remarks Del Fresco of his work. “It’s all cohesive. It all goes together somehow.” I ask him what, if anything, he learned from his twenties, what lessons he would be carrying forward. He thinks about this for a time. “I feel like I don’t got it figured out. More patience, I guess,” he says eventually. “Sometimes I just go head in… Sort of feel like I rush into stuff.”

A painting of a cowboy boot, a phone, and other pbjects floating in space.

Josué Galvan, The Void, 2024

What’s next for Josué Del Fresco, then, following the success of this solo show? I ask. “Man, I want to fall off the Earth, go to my home planet,” he laughs. He had just gotten back from Marfa, where Chinati Weekend had left a big impression. “It inspired me,” he says. “I want to see more art.” First on the list? “Denver. Go see Blucifer,” he says, referring to Blue Mustang, the blue rearing bronco at the Denver airport, the legendary final and fatal artwork of Luis Jiménez, another art idol of his.

He also wants to continue focusing on his own work, hoping to find a studio “and really go at it.” He reflects on what he loves about making art: “That’s the freedom about it, having a crazy thought and just going for it. And make it big.”

The post Boney Goes Big: An Interview with Josué Del Fresco appeared first on Glasstire.

01 Nov 01:26

Five-Minute Tours: Phillip Pyle II at Houston Museum of African American Culture

by Glasstire

Note: the following is part of Glasstire’s series of short videos, Five-Minute Tours, for which commercial galleries, museums, nonprofits, and artist-run spaces across the state of Texas send us video walk-throughs of their current exhibitionsLet’s get your show in front of an audience.

See other Five-Minute Tours here.

Phillip Pyle II: So Far So Good at Houston Museum of African American Culture. Dates: through October 12, 2024.

The post Five-Minute Tours: Phillip Pyle II at Houston Museum of African American Culture appeared first on Glasstire.

01 Nov 01:22

Second Texas doctor sued for providing gender-affirming care to minors

by By Eleanor Klibanoff
These are the first cases under a law prohibiting doctors from providing puberty blockers or hormone therapy to help minors transition.
01 Nov 01:21

A West Texas pecan farm fights to save its water supply as neighbors sell it to growing cities

by By Carlos Nogueras Ramos
A yearslong dispute over exporting water to growing Texas cities offers a hint at the battles to come as the state’s population booms and water supply dwindles.
01 Nov 01:18

Caribbean development odds slowly increasing as we exit October

by Matt Lanza

Headlines

  • Development odds are increasing in the Caribbean.
  • Slow development is possible in about 3 to 5 days with a slow west or northwest movement.
  • Interests in Central America, Mexico, Cuba, Jamaica, and the Caymans should continue to monitor development closely.
  • U.S. impact risks remain quite low due to cooler water in the Gulf and wind shear.

Caribbean development odds inching up

The system that could develop in the Caribbean over the next several days is up to 60 percent today, as the forecast continues to look a touch more bullish on development.

The NHC is slowly boosting odds of development in the Caribbean today. (NOAA NHC)

Back on Tuesday, we noted that it would probably move north or west from where it gets going, and today the NHC basically says the same thing. The upper pattern is favoring something a little anomalous for November, as most often, systems will move north or northeast from the Caribbean this time of year.

Anyway, we have at least loose model agreement almost across the board today that something should get going in the western or west-central Caribbean in about 3 to 5 days. In fact, looking at the Euro ensemble, we can see a clear development signal in the Caribbean by Sunday.

European ensemble on board with tropical development in about 3 to 4 days, much like most other modeling. (Tropical Tidbits)

There will be a number of factors in play that will impact the strength and track of this system. First off, notice that there is also a low pressure signal on the north side of Cuba or Hispaniola. That low-probability system could have an impact on how shear impacts the Caribbean disturbance. Initially, high pressure over Florida and the eastern Gulf will likely help steer this system slightly to the west. Over time, that high pressure system may shift east a bit to focus more over Florida or the Bahamas. This could open the door to more of a northwest or northerly motion into the Gulf from this system.

The upper air pattern will favor a westerly and perhaps eventually a northwesterly motion to this system in the Caribbean. (Tropical Tidbits)

You may look at that outcome and say, “Oh no, here we go again.” But the situation in November is generally much different than that of October. While the Gulf is generally warmer than normal, it has cooled a good deal in the last month.

The Gulf has cooled off a good deal over the last 30 days. (StormVista Weather Models)

So we aren’t dealing with the precursor setup that we were with Helene or Milton. Secondly, wind shear tends to be quite aggressive in November. The forecast of wind shear in the northern and western Gulf is quite significant next week, with high shear in those locations.

A lot of wind shear separates a potential disturbance in the southern Gulf or northwest Caribbean from the U.S. Mainland. (Tropical Tidbits)

That said, any kind of development is worth noting, particularly for folks in Mexico (the Yucatan), Cuba, Jamaica, or the Cayman Islands. And I would encourage those areas to watch this system closely, especially given that the Caribbean remains very warm and has barely cooled off in the last 30 days. For folks in the U.S., this is unlikely to cause major heartburn, but it probably remains worth watching at least until we have a better sense of how things will unfold. For now, it remains nothing of serious concern for the Gulf Coast.

More this weekend.

01 Nov 01:16

This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner

by Matthew Brian Cohen

It’s come to this: the 2024 presidential election is a toss-up. Fifty-fifty. All the polls say this could go either way.

This isn’t how I saw this playing out in July. After Biden dropped out, my victory was all but assured. But you can’t count a historically unpopular moron like Donald Trump out. With his crackpot team of dimwitted transphobes, he has run a campaign with the enthusiasm of a man who would rather be golfing. And you simply have to tip your hat to that high level of strategy and expertise.

I don’t like it any more than you all, but we’re currently neck and neck with a guy whose fascist policies fall apart ten minutes into a friendly interview with Joe Rogan. That’s a testament not only to Trump’s lethargic spirit but also his undeniable lack of command of which lies he’s currently telling. Say what you will about his abrasive personality, poor track record (both in office and trying to overthrow it), and a VP pick with all the momentum of a 2009 Hyundai Elantra driving uphill with the emergency brake—the man is tough to beat.

I’m just as befuddled and frustrated as you. We should be able to make an open and shut case against Donald Trump, a man so unpopular that multiple attempts on his own life were met with a universal shrug. But every time we think we have him beat, he arrives three hours late to one of his sparsely attended rallies and sways silently to the Village People. When I saw that footage, I turned to Tim Walz and said, “Damn, he just might win Michigan.” I mean, how are we supposed to beat a guy who can speak so eloquently about the size, shape, and length of Arnold Palmer’s penis?! There’s no shame in being within inches of that. And there’s no shame in being so close in the polls, either.

It’s not for a lack of trying. I’m proud of our campaign. We have built a strong coalition of people from all walks of life, be they male or female, young or old, Zionist or pro-Israel. But Donald Trump is a master campaigner. He knows exactly what the average undecided voter in Pennsylvania wants to hear: a veritable jazz trio of Elon Musk’s pathetic, try-hard ramblings, half-remembered anecdotes of meeting Andrew Lloyd Webber in 1985, and Mein Kampf. Here is a man who’s read at least one book and thought about his place in the world for easily dozens of seconds. It’s honestly a miracle we’ve managed to break even.

But does that mean we’ve given up hope? No! We are working tirelessly to counter any potential “October surprise” Donald Trump might deliver our way. But it’s tough—who knows what kind of curveball this seventy-eight-year-old man who hasn’t changed since the Mets last won the World Series will throw at us? Will he openly commit another crime, leaving nothing behind save for a long, detailed trail of evidence? Perhaps he’ll put on an even bigger Nazi rally, where all of Long Island’s most retired cops and dullest housewives can sit in stony silence as America’s least-known comic struggles his way through racist street jokes? Or maybe Trump will just die, making history as the first-ever corpse to win the Oval Office?

Whatever he decides to do, come November 5, it’s truly a coin flip—heads, I win; tails, three million Americans get deported. But when the stakes are this high, and your opponent is so uniquely reviled, all you can do is leave it up to chance.

31 Oct 20:09

New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected

by The Onion Staff
31 Oct 20:09

Biden Whimpering From Inside White House Supply Closet

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Desperately clawing at the door in an apparent attempt to get the attention of passing aides, President Joe Biden reportedly spent Thursday whimpering from inside a locked White House supply closet. Sources confirmed that while the president received repeated assurances from senior advisor Ben LaBolt that he would be “right back,” the whining has become increasingly audible throughout the West Wing since Biden was locked inside the 5-by-5-foot chamber at 8:43 a.m. According to reports, the only successful effort to quiet the commander-in-chief’s feeble cries occurred when several aides slipped wet food under the closet’s door and informed him he was being “a very, very good president.” Although the brief lull that ensued prompted speculation that the 81-year-old had fallen asleep, vacuuming in a nearby room soon reawakened the dormant leader of the free world, who then spent several minutes fearfully scratching at the walls in an attempt to find an exit. At press time, White House chief of staff Jeff Zients was reportedly trying to stop Biden’s low moaning by stressing that if the president held out in there for just five more days, he would get a big, tasty treat.

The post Biden Whimpering From Inside White House Supply Closet appeared first on The Onion.

31 Oct 20:07

‘Washington Post’ Loses 250,000 Subscribers Over Decision To End Presidential Endorsements

by The Onion Staff

More than 250,000 Washington Post readers have canceled their subscriptions since the newspaper announced last week that it would not make an endorsement in the presidential race, with many arguing that owner Jeff Bezos made the decision to safeguard his other business interests. What do you think?

“Nothing a few hundred layoffs won’t fix.”

Simon Benno, Seat Filler

“Who am I to tell a billionaire how to influence world events?”

Lizzy Boyett, Baby Namer

“And on top of everything else, they don’t even have Wordle.”

Chase Conatser, Noise Appraiser

The post ‘Washington Post’ Loses 250,000 Subscribers Over Decision To End Presidential Endorsements appeared first on The Onion.

31 Oct 19:55

Ghost Hunter

by Reza
31 Oct 15:43

what are the weirdest things you’ve found when cleaning out an old office or desk?

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

What odd things have you found when moving into a new office or desk? To start us off, here are some disturbing and/or amusing examples shared here in the past:

  • “A friend of mine went to work for a museum in DC. As she cleaned out the desk she found an old (1920ish?) cigarette box, opened it up, and dumped out a mummified finger, or at least a small part of one. Its turns out that the previous occupant of her desk specialized in Egyptian antiquities. The finger was returned to the proper storage unit.”
  • “When my boss and I went to clean out an ex-employee’s desk, we found stuff like printed emails about scams from 1999, printed emails about procedure changes from the early 2000s that had long since changed again, printed chain messages with notes she’d written about being concerned and wanting to follow up on them, and so on. PRINTED EMAILS EVERYWHERE.”
  • “A librarian/archivist friend discovered that the person she’d taken over for in that job had left a huge file with years’ worth of correspondence from an affair this (married) person was having. Some of it supposedly left nothing to the imagination about what was going on. Guess keeping it at work meant it was around as a keepsake, but not in a location where the spouse could find it. Although funny they left that job and totally forgot to at least destroy the evidence.”
  • “I once was promoted into a position previously held by a man who left the company over a salary dispute. Apparently a dispute that he was extremely angry about, as I discovered when I went through the files on his former computer. He had pasted pornographic / scatological photographs in literally every spreadsheet and document he had ever created in his five years in the position; I’m guessing that this was supposed to be some sort of commentary on the job and his feelings about it. There were upwards of 1,500 files that he “decorated”; I wasn’t sure whether to be disgusted by the images or impressed by his diligence in carrying out this bizarre task. It turned out to be a little of both.”

Please share your own in the comments.

31 Oct 15:40

History Of Voting Rights In The U.S.

by The Onion Staff

This Tuesday, millions of American citizens will exercise their right to vote. The Onion presents a historical timeline of how voting rights in the U.S. have developed.

1776: Framers grant voting rights to all their boys: Big Jeff, Mikey G., Nick T., Nick P., Skinny Rick, and Timbo.

1920: The suffragettes win the right to vote with a rollicking kickline.  

1964: The gracious and benevolent aristocracy ended poll taxes after being hornswoggled by the poors. 

1968: Nebraska allows well-constructed scarecrows to vote.  

1971: The voting age is lowered to 18 after scientists determine that the governmental lobe is fully developed by this age. 

1975: Voting materials translated into Elvish for first time to help nerds vote.

1984: Voting age lowered to 13 if accompanied by an adult.

2018: Mom figures out how to text-to-vote for Dancing With The Stars.

2023: Line to vote in 2024 Georgia general election begins to form.

​2046: Directive 2789HX-p90 expands the electorate by ending the discriminatory use of the Turing test.

The post History Of Voting Rights In The U.S. appeared first on The Onion.

31 Oct 14:57

I’m Voting for Trump Because of the Things He Says He’ll Do, Which I Don’t Actually Believe He’ll Do

by Miles Kahn

I realize the former president can sound a bit rough to some, but that’s why he connects with so many people. He simply tells it like it is. He’s a man of conviction who will not do the terrible things he has repeatedly promised to do. This is why I plan to vote for him.

As a man who served as president for four years, who is the head of the Republican Party, and who controls the entire messaging machine of the conservative media ecosystem, Donald Trump is the ultimate outsider and truth-teller who can take on the system. He’s the only one who can fix this amazing country, which is the garbage can for the world, according to Trump.

Some may find it concerning that he said he plans to use the United States military to round up undocumented migrants and place them in detention camps. But that’s all just a little fun bluster he uses to amp up his rallies. There is simply nothing in his past that would indicate he would do anything like that.

I also don’t believe he’ll indict Biden or his other political enemies despite promising to do so since 2021. Nor do I believe he will attempt to rule like a “dictator.” Trump is a straight shooter, and when he said that thing about ruling like a dictator, it was just one time, and it was a joke.

There’s an art to reading Trump. When he promises he’ll do something outrageous, you must recognize that it’s almost certainly not going to happen. But it might. But it probably won’t. Look, if you ask too many questions about what Trump has promised to do, those things may become true because Trump doesn’t like to be proven wrong. He’s the kind of guy who likes retribution but who is also full of positivity, according to his wife, Melania, his biggest champion who is rarely ever seen in public. She’s great.

Invade Mexico? That certainly must have been a joke. I mean, that’s crazy talk. But I love when he says it. It’s fun! Who doesn’t like an amusing jape to lighten the mood? And on abortion, he simply celebrated personally dismantling Roe v. Wade and in no way would support a sixteen-week national abortion ban, which he said he would do and then said he wouldn’t do, so it’s unclear and best not to think about it.

That whole thing he said about going after every media outlet that has been critical of him, including late-night comedy shows and 60 Minutes and accusing them of treason? Just some whimsical bravado to fire up the base. There is simply no way he’s that vindictive, even though he says it’s something that our government should do and urged us to “watch!”

I have a trans friend at work, and they say that Trump has promised to enact a federal law stating that there are only two genders, but that sounds kind of like the thing that he won’t do despite saying he would do exactly that. Apparently, he also said he’d ban gender-affirming care for minors, punish doctors and hospitals who treat transgender youth, and ban trans people from the military. I appreciate his conviction on this issue and know deep in my heart not to believe that any of that will happen.

Eliminate the Department of Education? Yeah, I actually think he’ll do that one. Just seems like his kind of thing.

But other than that—on issues like abortion, birth control, climate, tariffs, criminalizing homelessness, firing tens of thousands of career civil servants and replacing them with political loyalists, letting Russia win in Ukraine, it’s all just locker room talk. Trump is an honest broker whose no-nonsense approach is just what this country needs, because he absolutely won’t do all the terrible things he honestly insists he will do.

Think of Trump’s promises like a Schrödinger’s Pandora’s Box. If you open the box, it will release all the evils of the world. But if you assume the box doesn’t exist, then your marginal tax rate may not go up. He promised to lower or eliminate taxes altogether, ideas I like very much, so that must be one of the promises that will come true.

Trump is less of a presidential candidate and more of a gut feeling. He’s a blank slate you can fill with your dreams and assumptions and go to bed at night knowing that your daughter’s reproductive rights will be safe, your trans friend is just overreacting, the nice Mexican guy at the grocery store will be fine, and peace and love and isolationism and flowers and sunshine and bliss and low taxes will follow. I promise.

31 Oct 14:56

270 Reasons: Because If You Don’t Want to Live in The Handmaid’s Tale, You Really Need to Vote Harris-Walz

by Margaret Atwood

Our friends at 270 Reasons are gathering a polyphonic orchestra of brilliant writers, teachers, doctors, filmmakers, artists, and citizens of all kinds to weigh in about their plans to vote this November. These opinion essays run the gamut from advocacy for basic human rights to acutely personal mini-manifestoes. Read the rest over at 270 Reasons.

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Short message: If you don’t want to live in The Handmaid’s Tale, you really need to vote Harris-Walz. Long message: The “Republican” side—and I put that in quotes because these are Republicans in name only, being a cabal working for Unfreedom—is proposing that the state own women’s bodies and dictate to them how many children they must have. They are depriving women of health care, frightening gynecologists away from states that have legislated that a cluster of cells is a human being, and refusing to provide for the babies forced on families that can’t afford more babies. This is a recipe for dead women: dead mothers, dead sisters, dead wives, dead daughters. Dead non-rich women, because rich ones usually get what they want. It’s also a recipe for controlling men—fathers and husbands. They can’t support more children? Too bad. Napoleon outlawed abortion because he wanted more cannon fodder—expendable men to die in his wars of conquest. He also reinstated slavery. Consider that connection.

Whether you are Democrat, undecided, or real Republican, avoid the nightmare by casting a vote against the so-called Republicans. The future will thank you.

- - -

Margaret Atwood is the author of more than fifty books of fiction, poetry, and critical essays. Her 1985 classic, The Handmaid’s Tale, was followed in 2019 by a sequel, The Testaments, which was a global number-one best seller and won the Booker Prize. In October 2024, Paper Boat, a collection of new and selected poems from 1961 to 2023, was published. Atwood has won numerous awards, including the Arthur C. Clarke Award for Imagination in Service to Society, the Franz Kafka Prize, the Peace Prize of the German Book Trade, the PEN USA Lifetime Achievement Award, and the Dayton Literary Peace Prize.

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Read more essays (with new ones added every day) at 270reasons.com.

- - -

The arguments here represent the opinion of the authors and not necessarily those of the McSweeney’s Literary Arts Fund.

31 Oct 12:46

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Yesss

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Mmmm, fully frontal prudity.


Today's News:
31 Oct 12:44

Cursed cats!

Cursed cats!

31 Oct 02:39

How Far We’ve Come Since 2016: Election Edition

by Meg Reid, Katy Maiolatesi, and Rachel Rose Keller

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30 Oct 23:50

someone is always crying in our morning meetings

by Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

Can you help me deal with the amount of crying at work I’m dealing with at the moment?

I manage a mid-size team of people who are all very caring and empathetic, and are through and through a great team.

Every morning we have a meeting set up for the day. I’m finding more and more often that I have to deal with someone becoming overcome with tears at this meeting. My team all have their struggles, with health, family, bereavement, and plenty of other genuine personal problems. I find that some members of the team more than others will come to the meeting already in tears, or will become tearful if asked how they are. The meeting will then be focused on that person and their issue until I can, as tactfully and kindly as possible, try to steer us back on course. I’ll follow up with them afterwards to make sure they know I will support them in any way I can by adjusting their workload, giving them flexibility, etc. I get a lot of feedback from my team to say that I am a supportive manager.

But I’m really starting to struggle with this. I make it clear to my team they don’t need to have cameras on for the meeting, and they can message me ahead of time if they are struggling and don’t feel up to the meeting. I know that life these days is HARD and I’ve had my share of difficulties in recent years. But I do feel that this morning meeting is becoming a support group at times. I’m worried that members of staff who I know to have a lot going on in their personal lives, but don’t bring it up in the meeting, feel like they now have to shoulder someone else’s emotions. It is draining for me as well; I am only human.

Is there a nice way to tell repeat criers that they need to maybe skip the meeting if they feel like crying? Should I even do that? I think some of the team really rely on work connections to support them as they don’t have a great network of family and friends.

How do I deal with this? And how can I keep my sanity when I am getting all these emotions dumped on me, even when I’m having a tough time myself?

I wrote back and asked, “Are these daily meetings strictly necessary? That’s a lot of meetings and I’d look at whether they need to be happening that frequently as a first step!”

The organization very much expects us to do this every morning. The meeting can take as little as 15 minutes if we don’t have too much chat. It should just be a quick check-in to capture figures and flag any issues, but can and does get derailed.

First and foremost unless you find the meetings truly useful, see if you can cut down on how often you have them. If you don’t have the authority to do that, can you talk to whoever needs to okay it and explain that not only are they unhelpful but they’re becoming actively derailing?

But if that’s not an option — or if the meetings really do serve a useful purpose — then a few things:

1. Try making the calls audio-only. Not just “you don’t need to have your camera on,” but “we are going to leave cameras off for our meetings this week and see how that goes.” With cameras off, there will be fewer openings for “Jane, you look upset, is everything okay?” and a higher chance of staying focused on the meeting’s agenda.

2. Openly articulate the challenge to your team: “We have a team of empathetic people who care a lot about each other, and many of us have struggles going on outside of work. I love that we support each other, but we’re having trouble getting through our morning meeting agendas. I’m going to ask that we stay focused on work items at these meetings, but if you’re not in a head space to do that on any particular day, please message me that you’re skipping the meeting and we’ll connect later instead.”

3. After laying the groundwork that way, resolve to be more task-focused in the meetings. You probably feel it would be callous to ignore that someone seems upset, but it’s really okay to say, “Unfortunately we’ve got to figure out XYZ right now, but Jane, if you need to drop off this call, you can — and we can talk later if there’s anything you need from me in regard to workload or anything else” … and then move the conversation back to work items. (Similarly, if asking how people are is what tends to bring this out, try skipping that and just say, “Good morning, everyone! We’ve got a lot to cover so I’m going to jump straight in…”)

I suspect that if you try the above for a few weeks, you’ll be able to reset the meeting norms.

30 Oct 15:52

Baby Left In Drop Box Couple Towns Over So It Can’t Crawl Back

by The Onion Staff

MEHLVILLE, MO—Crossing her state’s eastern border into Illinois to find a more distant fire station, Missouri resident Eileen Fayette reportedly opted to surrender her baby in a Safe Haven Baby Box a couple towns over Wednesday so that it wouldn’t be able to crawl back. “I heard somewhere that as long as your scent is in the air, babies can find their way home from almost anywhere,” said the 22-year-old new mother, explaining that she didn’t want her infant crawling the 30 miles back to her house using its inherent sensitivity to the earth’s electromagnetic fields. “I placed a blindfold over her during the trip so that she couldn’t use any landmarks to navigate either. Hopefully, crossing the Mississippi will disorient her powerful homing abilities so that she stays put this time. You have to go a long way to override an infant’s heightened senses.” At press time, Fayette reported finding her daughter back in her crib the following morning.

The post Baby Left In Drop Box Couple Towns Over So It Can’t Crawl Back appeared first on The Onion.