Cowboy Who?

Without proper treatment, a leaky mitral valve can cause irregular heart rhythm and heart failure, according to the Mayo Clinic.

Houston Mayor Whitmire said he’s responsible for Houston First redirecting $2.6 million away from a project that would have fixed the lighting over bridges in Montrose. The decision further delays a years-long effort to repair the faulty lighting.

Gamboa's vehicle was later discovered about a mile away from the incident. After positively identifying Gamboa, the constable's office issued a warrant for her arrest.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose boss wouldn’t do anything about their terrible (mean, insulting, and disrespectful) employee? Here’s the update.

He’s GONE, fired a couple of weeks ago!

It took much longer than it should have and we still don’t have a satisfactory reason why the boss wouldn’t cut him loose.

It got much worse before it came to a head. The guy has extreme anger issues, problems with authority, possible female authority, and was incapable of getting along with anyone who worked here. He is just an awful person who is in need of deep counseling.

I continued to get reports over the last year from a couple of the guys about his hatred for me. Quotes attributed to him:
a. “What f****** idiot made THAT decision ?” (in reply to my scheduling a job, which is part of my job; apparently he disagreed)
b. “Let me make this clear, that b**** isn’t in charge of ANYTHING!”
c. “I wish that b**** would die.”

Recently he decided to pick out a fellow worker who he knew had an excellent working relationship with me and made passive-aggressive threats to another employee, saying charming things like, “I’ll go all workplace violence on him.” This was reported to boss and the target of his threat told the boss that was enough for him and he needed to do something. That got the ball rolling.

I finally had heard enough and was very tired of being afraid to come to work. If by some last minute change in scheduling, he and I were to be in the building alone together, I just left for my own safety. Two of the guys really had my back and watched out for me. They stayed later than they had to just to make sure I was OK and not left alone with him. It was exhausting and I hated that I had to be afraid of this world-class turd.

I sat down with my boss and said that I felt unsafe coming to work and that it was his responsibility to keep me safe and that he was failing miserably. No ultimatum was given, as I think those often backfire miserably. He finally understood!

I don’t think I will ever understand why he was so hesitant to fire the guy, maybe someday we will have that talk. I don’t want to make excuses for boss and this is what I still find so confusing: he is one of the best people I have ever known. He is an exceptional person and (other than this) treats all of us extremely well.

So my boss asked for a couple of weeks before firing the guy. A holiday was coming up and we were swamped. I wholeheartedly agreed as I was just happy he understood.

The next day, my boss walks into my office, says he’s firing the guy right now, and did I want to leave? Answer: yes.

10 minutes later, he called me and said he was gone.

Turns out the boss had heard the guy saying something derogatory about the company (maybe me?) and that he had a job interview the next day. I am befuddled to think that was the first time he’d ever heard the guy say awful things, and that wasn’t bad at all!

I waited a couple of weeks before updating as I wanted to see if there was any fallout.
First, we replaced him with a much better person already, and that was extremely easy and painless. Second, EVERYONE who works here is relieved! Everyone is happy, relaxed and we were almost immediately back to the excellent company we used to be. It truly is like night and day. I love my job again, and the boss and I are back to our normal selves, working hard but laughing and joking all day.

Thank you, Alison, for publishing my question/problem and thank you to the commentariat for all your advice!

This isn’t complicated. A man is a man, a woman is a woman, and if we have any questions, we simply consult the highest governing body of a random sport.

As the saying goes, when in doubt, turn to the International Association of Amateur Heptathlon Competitors.

Scripture tells us that God made man in his image. Biology tells us that men and women are different. The International Cycling Union tells us that if a person’s natural testosterone is above 2.5 nanomoles per liter, well, there’s no way that’s a woman.

An athlete might look like a woman from a distance. Upon closer inspection, however, that person will test positive for conditions such as “being the best athlete on the field” and “capitalizing on natural ability with years of training.”

We must stay vigilant to ensure these troublemakers don’t slip through the cracks.

Yes, male athletes take a host of supplements and quasi-legal hormones, but that’s just what men do. Doubling a man’s testosterone level through chemical injections is perfectly natural.

We can’t know everything, and that’s okay. For example, I have no idea what Modern Pentathlon is, but I’ll be damned if the International Modern Pentathlon Union turns a blind eye to gender malfeasance.

In times of trouble, we must lean on the Good Book. The First Epistle to Timothy tells us, “For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And then Adam felt embarrassed because Eve could swim farther than he could, so Adam asked the angels if they could, like, check the rule book or run some tests or something.”

Today, we must rely on our own angels, the Court of Arbitration for Sport, and the Supreme Court of Switzerland. If the courts say a woman must endure medical intervention in order to pole vault, that’s biology at work.

Facts are facts. There is nothing wrong with ensuring fair competition, and there is nothing weird about a guy having strong opinions on the biological integrity of women’s track and field. “Biological integrity” is a totally normal phrase that not-insane people say all the time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work. It’s time to scrutinize the roster of my local 1,600-meter relay team.

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Hovertext:
Number 3 move is the combination, because each takes away from the other.

Today's News:

SEATTLE—Saying the amenity was meant to ease any inconvenience caused by the disruption to his daily routine, Harborview Medical Center officials explained Thursday that they were sending area man Alex Leahy home with a loaner dad while his biological father was being worked on. “This one’s seen better days, but he’s super dependable and should give you all the love and support you need until your regular dad is all fixed up and back to normal,” said Harborview representative Grace Carter, guiding Leahy through the various features of the loaner father chosen from a fleet of temporary parents kept on-hand at the hospital for patients eligible to take advantage of the perk. “We do have some newer models and some that are more sporty, but this dad right here will give you the most bang for your buck. With this model, you get a decent amount of conversation and support—no hugs, but that’s mostly the case with the flashier new models anyway. For what it’s worth, this one has a great stereo. I know he’s a little dinged up, but at least there’s no smoke pouring out.” Reached for comment, Leahy confided to reporters that the hospital’s loaner dad was actually nicer than the one he normally used.

The post Hospital Sends Man Home With Loaner Dad While His Worked On appeared first on The Onion.

The Robert Rauschenberg Foundation has announced that it will partner with seven institutions across the world, including the Menil Collection in Houston, for its Centennial Anniversary.

In 2025 and through 2026, the foundation will commemorate Mr. Rauschenberg’s 100th birthday with an international celebration marked by major exhibitions, grants, and publications. Partnering institutions include the Museum Brandhorst in Munich, the Museum Ludwig in Cologne, Fundación Juan March in Madrid, M+ in Hong Kong, Kunsthalle Krems in Austria, the Museum of the City in New York, and the Menil Collection. Each exhibition will be accompanied by a new catalog. 

The inclusion of a Texas institution speaks to Mr. Rauschenberg’s history in the state. Born in Port Arthur in 1925, the artist first studied pharmacology at the University of Texas in Austin before he was drafted during World War II. Later, he studied at the Kansas City Art Institute, the Académie Julian in Paris, and the Black Mountain College in North Carolina. His work is held in Texas museums including the Menil, the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, the McNay Art Museum in San Antonio, the Dallas Museum of Art, the Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth, and the Blanton Museum of Art.

From September 19, 2025, through March 1, 2026, the Menil will present Robert Rauschenberg: Fabric Works of the 1970s, the first museum survey to highlight the artist’s use of cloth in his assemblages. According to the foundation’s website, during the 1970s Mr. Rauschenberg “experimented extensively with the ways in which woven materials hold printed images, move in the air, respond to gravity, and capture color and light.”

Additionally, the Menil is one of 23 institutions that have received Centennial Grants from the Rauschenberg Foundation. These grants support exhibitions, research, restoration, performances, educational programs, and more. View the full list of recipients via the Rauschenberg Foundation’s Centennial Anniversary website.

Along with the exhibition catalogs associated with the Centennial shows, in October 2025, Yale University Press will publish I Don’t Think About Being Great: Select Statements and Writings. The new monograph will present 100 passages from Mr. Rauschenberg’s written works such as correspondence, artist notes, speeches, and more. 

The post Robert Rauschenberg Foundation Announces The Menil Collection as a Centennial Anniversary Partner appeared first on Glasstire.

Glasstire counts down the top five art events in Texas.

For last week’s picks, please go here.

1. Mud + Corn + Stone + Blue
Stanlee and Gerald Rubin Center for Visual Arts (El Paso)
August 29, 2024 – April 12, 2025

From the UTEP Rubin Center:

“Told through a constellation of places and temporal back-and-forths, Mud + Corn + Stone + Blue traces stories of the entangled lands of the United States and Central America. The exhibition hinges on major conflicts that have scarred the region since the 1960s and how their histories are entwined with that of U.S. agriculture through the corn industry.

Across its long timeline, the exhibition centers on the years 1979-1981 to illustrate the overlap between the U.S. farming recession and the worst years of the armed conflicts in Central America, and how they are grounded in the same political and economic decisions around farming practices, ideas of land ownership and stewardship, migrant labor, and agricultural export.”

2. Fred Schmidt-Arenales: IT IS A GOOD PROJECT AND SHOULD BE BUILT
UT Visual Arts Center (Austin)
September 20 – December 7, 2024

From the Visual Art Center:

“For over a century, scientists, engineers, and government officials have been working to protect the Texas Gulf Coast from superstorm events that have damaged local ecosystems, displaced and killed coastal residents, and immobilized the region’s energy, shipping, and military operations. In the wake of catastrophic storms and hurricanes, including Katrina, Ike, and Harvey, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has proposed the construction of a $57 billion floodgate and dike system in Galveston Bay called the Texas Coastal Barrier Project, or “Ike Dike” for short.

One of the largest proposed projects in the corps’ history, the Ike Dike has been vaunted not only as essential to protecting the Houston Ship Channel but also under the banner of environmental and community protection. Fred Schmidt–Arenales’s exhibition, IT IS A GOOD PROJECT AND SHOULD BE BUILT, examines the corps’ efforts to advocate for the Ike Dike using community- and environment-focused rhetoric in public forums while developing a plan that prioritizes industrial, political, and military concerns above all else.”

3. Benjamin Terry: Done Being Cool
Galleri Urbane (Dallas)
November 16 – December 28, 2024

From Galleri Urbane:

“As the title suggests, the exhibition centers around a rift, a shift, an evolution. What has come before provides a foundation, but the approach has shifted. This is, according to the artist, ‘not a midlife crisis show, but an anti-midlife crisis show.’ Its subtle repositioning represents, Terry says, ‘me meditating on getting older.’ For more than a decade, the artist has worked with plywood surfaces, but the language of construction has altered. What he may have built as ‘haphazard, clunky constructions’ — raw expressions of material, rough-hewn and almost clumsy — have become more refined and polished.”

4. Time for Glass
Archway Gallery (Houston)
December 7, 2024 – January 2, 2025

From Archway Gallery:

“Archway Gallery artist, Robert L. Straight and guest artist, Eric DePan believe that it is Time for Glass to be brought to the forefront of the Houston art scene. Through this collaborative exhibition, the two artists, a half-century apart in age, offer a new lens through which to view this material that surrounds us every day. With their innovative approach to fusing, fabricating, and blowing glass, they show us what is possible.”

5. Maya Sokovic: Encounters
Un Grito Gallery (San Antonio)
December 5 – 19, 2024

“Encounters, an exhibition by Maya Sokovic, offers an exploration of memory and emotion through a combination of color composition and organic shapes. Over the past years, Sokovic has created a diverse body of work that reflects her personal experiences and connections she has forged with both people and nature. Each piece in the exhibition serves as a bridge, bringing memories from her past into the present moment, evoking a rich tapestry of emotions. Through this exhibition, Sokovic invites her audience to embark on a journey of exploration, where past encounters are not merely recollections but integral parts of our present identities.”

The post Top Five: December 5, 2024 appeared first on Glasstire.

In brief: Houston has a dynamic forecast over the next several days with a cold snap, followed by a weekend warm-up. Rain chances return on Saturday, with the period of Saturday night and Sunday looking especially wet. Then we’ll see a mild Monday followed by another sharp cold snap. Buckle up!

Thursday

A cold front pushed offshore on Wednesday night, and we’re now seeing an influx of drier and cooler air. Temperatures are around 60 degrees in much of the Houston region this morning, and that’s where we’ll likely top out during what will be a mostly cloudy, and cool day. Some very light, misty showers will be possible for the next couple of hours, but after that we should be rain free for 24 to 36 hours. Winds will be breezy, from the northeast. Low temperatures tonight will drop into the low 40s for most of the area.

Friday

This will be a fine, winter-like day. Expect highs in the mid-50s, with partly sunny skies. Yes, we should clear out for several hours during the daytime with moderate northeasterly winds. Friday night will be a bit warmer, but still should see temperatures drop into the 40s in Houston. Some rain chances return to the area after midnight.

Saturday

Skies will be mostly cloudy on Saturday, with highs around 60 degrees. The cold front that moved offshore on Thursday will pull back, and come ashore as a warm front. This will help drive increasing rain chances. During the day time I expect to see at least some scattered showers, with increasing chances Saturday evening and especially during the overnight hours. Although we are still about a day away from having high resolution modeling for this time period, it does appear as though there is a risk of rain to mar any holiday activities during the daytime and early evening on Saturday.

Sunday

At this point it appears the best chance for sustained and modestly heavy rainfall will probably come between midnight on Saturday and noon on Sunday. I don’t expect any real serious flooding issues, but most of the area should see on the order of 2 inches of rainfall from Saturday through Sunday night, with higher totals certainly possible. Rain chances continue into Sunday night. The bottom line is that it’s going to be a wet weekend, especially beginning some time Saturday evening or night into Sunday. Highs on Sunday will be about 70 degrees as dewpoints rise.

Monday

Skies should clear out on Monday to give us our warmest day of the forecast period. Expect highs in the mid- to upper-70s.

Rest of next week

After Monday’s warmth a fairly strong cold front will push into the area, bringing mostly sunny and colder weather. Houston could drop into the 30s, even, for a few nights next week with some of the far inland areas seeing a light freeze. Highs for a couple of day may only reach the 50s. All of that is to be determined, but much of next week does look quite a bit cooler.

With apologies to Raymond Carver.

My friend Kevin Maddox was talking. Kevin Maddox makes a fortune selling novelty pickleball T-shirts on Etsy, and sometimes that gives him the right.

“The kind of tariffs I’m talking about, the other country pays,” he said.

The four of us, my wife, Debra, and Kevin’s wife, Bridget, were sitting around his kitchen table drinking. On the table a case of Truly sat cooling on a bed of ice.

Debra lifted a can from the ice and cracked it open. “That’s not how tariffs work, though,” she said.

“My God,” Kevin said, a bit unsteady. “Don’t be silly.”

It would be night soon. I took a drink and held the can up to the dusky diluted sunlight seeping through the window: Wild Berry. My favorite flavor. The truth is, I thought Kevin was wrong. But by then our talk had grown old, and we were so young. What did the four of us, what did anyone know about taxes levied by governments?

“Who can say what a tariff is and what it isn’t?” I said.

“I can,” Debra said. “A tariff is a fee or duty paid by the company that imports products to the US Treasury,” she said.

“Close,” Bridget said. “It’s actually the other country that pays.”

“That’s right,” Kevin said, placing his hand on Bridget’s shoulder.

I found myself nodding along.

“Listen,” Debra said slowly. She looked around the table at us as if we weren’t her friends but strangers, as if we were no longer speaking the same language. “That’s not how tariffs work. Tariffs are paid by American companies.”

“No,” Kevin said. “Canada and China and Mexico will pay the tariffs. They will suffer. And tariffs will lower the price for American consumers.”

Debra placed her hands flat on the table as if she were trying to soak in the last rays of the sun before they vanished. She leaned forward. A vein on her neck pulsed and trembled like a river about to run over.

“Kevin,” she said, “where do you buy your T-shirts from?”

“China,” he said, grinning.

“As a Chinese importer, you will then have to pay a tariff.”

“That’s the difference between you and me. I don’t consider myself an importer.”

“All right,” Debra said, her voice straining. “You buy your T-shirts from China, slap on a pickleball pun, then you sell them, right?”

“That’s right,” he said.

“No matter how you define a tariff, no matter what you think it is, the price of the T-shirts you purchase will skyrocket.”

Kevin finished his Truly and placed the can sideways on the table. “If that happens, I’ll just raise the price,” he said.

“Then he’ll be making more money,” Bridget said, beaming.

“Yes, but everything else, the livestock, the vehicles, oil, will also go up in price. Americans will pay more for food, housing, vehicles, everything.”

Outside, a dog began barking. The light in the kitchen was so sparse I could hardly see.

“But I feel tariffs will bring prices down,” Kevin said. He lay his hand flat on his chest, partially covering the quote, I DINK, THEREFORE I AM, on his T-shirt. “I feel it here, in my heart. And what could be more important?”

Debra raised her hands and shook her head. She never spoke of tariffs again. What was there anyone could possibly say?

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Hovertext:
With profound hope that the authors of the original paper do not read this.

Today's News:

For many years, at 826 Valencia and McSweeney’s, we’ve collected startlingly great publications from youth writing centers around the world. But there has never been a physical space where they’re displayed, and we thought there should be such a space. When the storefront at 849 Valencia opened up, we saw an opportunity.

Welcome to The International Library of Youth Writing, where the collected work of young people from all over the globe, ages 6-18, finds its first home. There are anthologies, chapbooks, graphic novels, and all kinds of other books here, including full-length novels written by middle schoolers. They’re displayed according to their location and the nonprofit sponsoring them.

Chapter 510, for example, is a writing center in Oakland, and they’ve generously donated a bunch of copies of their books, all written by authors under age 18. There are books by students from Italy, Australia, Louisville, Sacramento, Dublin, Stockholm, and dozens of cities in between.

At the moment, the library is in its pop-up stage, but in the next two months, we will be expanding it to encompass most of the building at 849 Valencia. Refugee Eye, a gallery run by our friend Lara Aburamadam, will continue to mount shows in the space, too. We invite visitors to come and see the current iteration of the library and to help us dream of its expansion.

To help cover the costs of the expansion, we’re offering a series of prints by Dave Eggers. All of these prints were hand-pulled by Eggers in the new printmaking studio in the basement of the same building—849 Valencia. All proceeds go to the library. We will add more over time, at irregular and seemingly random intervals.

The space is free and open to the public five days a week (Tuesday through Saturday, noon to 6 p.m.) and is available for school field trips. Youth writing workshops and other events will be added to the calendar in 2025. Young writers are encouraged to drop off copies of their own books and zines for the public to peruse in the reading room. The space will also be open to all as a study space and writing lab. The library aims to celebrate young authors and artists and cultivate new Bay Area audiences to appreciate their work.

Some of the books on display are for sale. Most are available for browsing, and we’ve set up comfortable chairs, couches, and pillows so visitors can stay and read in a quiet and inspiring place. We hope you’ll enjoy browsing and that you’ll be astounded by the breadth of work created by young writers, and the exceptional quality of these publications.

About that quality: When we started 826 Valencia back in 2002, we made a conscious decision to publish student work in high-quality paperbacks and even hardcover editions. In this way, we believed—and still believe—we can better honor the writing of young people. We also help students create chapbooks and easier-to-make publications, but our concentration has always been on holding students to professional standards and publishing their work in a professional way.

The human chorus is incomplete without the voices of young people, and this library is a step toward making sure these voices are heard and honored, and even when these authors grow up, that what they thought and felt and believed as young authors is never forgotten.

For more information or media inquiries, contact library@thehawkinsproject.org.

— Dave Eggers & Ninive Calegari, Co-founders of 826 Valencia
Bita Nazarian, Executive Director of 826 Valencia
Jade Howe, Curator of the International Library of Youth Writing
Amanda Uhle, former Executive Director of 826 Michigan and current Publisher of McSweeney’s

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer who organized orgies and wanted to know if they could talk about it in their job hunt? Here’s the update.

When I wrote in to you about work for retired orgynizers, I was mostly writing out of shame. There had been a ton of fun, friendship, and adventure in orgynizing. But I also thought that it made me sort of marked forever as some class of “candidate too gross, too weird” to employers.

Reading the comments was whiplash. One type was certain that I would engage in further nefarious deeds in the workplace, like not writing my experience from that business as ORGY MAKERS R US, LEAD ORGYNIZER on my resume. Or some other line of thinking about how my character was irreparably damaged from my time buying lube in bulk.

There were also a ton of people who said things along the lines of “oh, yep, I’ve needed to be cautious about things in a resume before.” People were pointing out my obvious admin and people skills. [And you know what? You were right! I DO have great administrative and people skills! Some thought it was funny, people conducted sex ed for adults in the comments (“what do they do at orgies? why does it take a weekend?”] I read all the comments, and you guys were great.

Thank you, too, to the commenter who came up with “orgynizer.” That is a genius portmanteau. May there always be room in the office fridge for your lunch, may the good parking spot open up before you.

What did I do with your advice? I decided fuck ’em. The global point of no return from climate change is 2-26 years away. What is the point of worrying about if every interviewer will like my resume? Universal appeal isn’t something we get. I took my skills in finding very discreet AirBnBs and herding people with cat ears, and now I do an analog letterpress business’s marketing and administration. Fun! Weird! Lots of old white men in Meaningful hats! Not fracking! Pays the bills! Great. I also teach people how to grow legal psychedelic plants, and am working on a slime mold that I can use for data visualization projects.

Which is all to say, don’t let the bastards grind you down. There are so many good paths through life. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, picking a strange but reliable career path is a totally neutral, or even good, thing to do.

Warmly,

Former Orgynizer, Retired with Honors

P.S. A common question that came up in the comments was if the adult weekends were something I was doing as a volunteer/my hobby. Nope! Formal business. I set up an LLC for that business and paid taxes under that designation.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are four updates from past letter-writers.

1. My younger coworker thinks I don’t know anything about computers (#2 at the link)

I followed your advice and sat down with her in private and discussed the whole issue. The rudeness, the condescension, the age discrimination. She seemed to have had no idea she was doing it and apologized. I then laid out my past experience with computers, starting in the dim dark ages of the 1970s up to now.

Things have improved. She occasionally starts off (to me), “To do that, you have to …” then she trails off and stops. I’ll call it a win. The boss did ask if I’d spoken to her and I said yes. He said, “Did you hurt her?” and I said no.

Someone in the comments mentioned younger users not really understanding file structures and organization and, given that she buries things 12 folders deep, I’d say she’s in that camp.

2. How do I tell my team member to be less uptight? (#4 at the link)

I took your advice and honed in on where Adam was not succeeding in his role professionally. I repeatedly gave him detailed feedback on where his work needed to improve. Unfortunately, the improvements were not forthcoming, clients began to complain and I ended up having to redo all his work, late into the night again and again.

I gave Adam a good heads-up that he would not pass his probation, which, in my mind, should have signalled alarm bells and to start the job hunt immediately. I wanted him to land on his feet and not be left stranded without a job.

With clients at risk of leaving us because of Adam’s poor work and other staff already guessing he would not last, I made the decision to end his employment and invited him to an in-person meeting. I explained to him a week beforehand the purpose of the meeting. Unfortunately, despite thinking I had made it clear what was happening, Adam was blindsided by the news that he was being let go. It was quite a sad departure, and I had hoped it could have gone better. I am very aware that things we say as managers can leave a mark and be remembered forever, and I was very careful to be as kind as I could be rather than to leave him crushed.

On reflection, I think Adam needed more 1-2-1 time in-person from me, but I work almost fully remote. I think he needed coaching in a way I would expect from a far more junior position. I also wonder if Adam was somewhere on the spectrum (and whether he knows or not), and if I needed to adapt my instructions and cues to resonate more. A big learning from me is to be more ruthless in interviews in really interrogating skillsets and any resume gaps.

I have discovered that Adam managed to find a job fairly quickly in a similar role but in a very different type of company. I really hope he has a manager and mentor who will oversee his writing and continue to make him perfect the craft. And, I hope he will be happy and find his professional strengths and really blossom. I really do wish him well.

3. How to explain an angry ex-employee is review-bombing us on Glassdoor (#3 at the link)

Having been at this place a bit longer, I think I see where the bad reviews are coming from. It’s not exactly what a lot of people in the comments thought!

When someone messes up big, leadership seems to believe in having boundary-violating “heart-to-hearts” that encourage said employee to blame everything on deep emotional issues that become the company’s business. Then, depending on how much they cry and “come clean,” they’re allowed to proceed as if nothing happened? For some reason? Even if they repeatedly do things that would merit an immediate firing someplace more functional? And then, eventually, months to years and many crying conversations about their trauma later, these people finally get let go.

The end result is that every person who should be out within their first week is allowed to stay an unbearably long time, most of which they spend totally convinced they were in the right about things like trying to get AI to do all their work, lying repeatedly that their work was done and ready to send to clients when it had never been started, harassing coworkers, turning out not to have the technical skills they claimed when hired, and so on. Upper management spends so much time and effort placating these weirdos, and engages them in such intimate conversations about their mental wellbeing, that they are always shocked and indignant when their bosses, who have been acting like close friends and/or bad therapists, finally give them the boot. The rightfully fired then invariably respond by writing at least one, but sometimes two or three, totally unglued Glassdoor reviews about it.

It’s such a weird situation. We have many more of those bad reviews now than we did when I first asked you about it, each one a distortion of reality from a person who should objectively have been gone sooner — and yet, they’re accidentally right about one thing: This place is toxic.

I have a ritual now where I microwave a little popcorn to eat while reading the latest reviews. Sometimes my better coworkers and I forward around the more delusional ones. Then I go back to covering the work of whoever lied about meeting their deadlines this week, fielding angry Teams messages from the conflict-prone people who haven’t cycled through our bizarre disciplinary process yet, and applying for work elsewhere.

Update to the update:

I got an offer for a new job with a 30% raise 48 hours after writing you my last email. My boss and other leadership keep saying how surprised they are, which I assume is because nobody usually leaves this place without having dozens of overly emotional meetings about it and they don’t know how to handle an employee who just calmly peaces out.

My HR person wrote an email this morning setting up a last-minute meeting to pressure me to sign some paperwork on the spot, so I emailed back to ask if I could receive and go over said paperwork ahead of time. Weirdly for people who are obsessed with having long, detailed discussions about their employees’ private lives, upper management seems to have forgotten I’m married to a lawyer.

4. Should I tell a colleague people think she’s having an affair with a coworker?

I took Alison’s advice and left it alone – and fortunately, they both made it easier for me by kind of freezing me out for my notice period. I’ve hardly spoken to them since I left, but the twist in the tale is that they have both now also left my old company to start a new business together!

I don’t imagine I’ll ever find out if they were or weren’t having an affair but as the commentariat pointed out, whether they were or not, the vibe their behavior created was super strange and uncomfortable to be around, and I’m glad to have moved on.

Thank you for your advice, both on this matter and in general!

SAN JUAN, PR – In the wake of Donald Trump unveiling plans to make Canada the 51st U.S. state, Puerto Ricans who have been trying to attain proper electoral representation expressed their frustration with Canada jumping the line and receiving statehood before them. “Look, Canada is a lovely place, but you can’t just become a […]

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Mayra Moreno has received much support from the media community after defending herself from an ABC13 KTRK Houston viewer, who posted on X about why she was pronouncing "Hispanic sounding names with a Hispanic accent?"This after Moreno has been grieving the death of her former co-anchor, Chauncy Glover. Moreno responded: "Spanish is my first language and I’m pronouncing it how it’s supposed

President-elect Donald Trump pledged to fulfill his campaign promise of removing millions of undocumented immigrants in a “record-setting deportation operation.” Here is the incoming administration’s plan for carrying out mass deportation.

Redirect immigration applicants to a travel blog called “50 Things To Do In Equatorial Guinea.”

Trigger the trapdoor under Arizona.

Check millions of migrants’ calendars to find a good time for everyone to get deported together.

Disguise ICE agents as shrubs, trash cans, and traffic cones so they can sneak around more easily.

Tell neighborhood watch groups to really just go nuts. 

Decrease America’s dependence on fruits and vegetables.

Get “calling ICE on my neighbor” trending on TikTok. 

Use military force to round up anyone who can identify Mexico on a map.

Probably something horrific involving tents in the desert. 

Ask Biden how he did it.

The post How The Trump Administration Will Carry Out Mass Deportation  appeared first on The Onion.

The post Standing Desk Celebrates 4th Year At Lowest Possible Setting appeared first on The Onion.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m on vacation. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives.

1. My friend/client won’t pay my cancellation fee

I have a friend who I met because we both enjoy certain sports. I’ll call him Frank. I only see Frank when I am involved in this sport, but it’s a small community, so everyone knows each other. Because my business caters to this sport and others like it, Frank decided he would like to use my service. And because he is a friend, I gave him a discounted price. My business is appointment based and I can only see one client at a time, so we have a strict 24-hour rescheduling policy. He has cancelled his appointment many times without proper notice, leaving me in a lurch. I explained to him that I am unable to see other clients as I cannot double book my time and not always able to fill the hole in my schedule on short notice. When I confront him about this, he gets very angry and says he is not a “client” (he is “more than that”) and do not treat him as such. He refuses to pay the cancellation fee.

Meanwhile, an ex-employee who was fired for insubordination and stealing clients, is siding up to Frank — disparaging my name and my company, all the while trying to steal him as a client. Because of Frank’s flaky nature, I’m not to sure this wouldn’t be a bad thing.

The problem is that Frank is very good at certain athletics and is a featured client on our advertising campaign. In addition to that, he knows many people in the sporting community and word gets around. Should I suck it up? Or set a boundary, change my campaign, and let the chips fall as they may?

Wow, Frank is being a real a-hole here. Since he’s a friend, he should get to mess up your schedule and cause you to repeatedly lose income? That’s precisely the opposite of how it should be.

Any chance you can say to him, “You’re right, you’re a friend. I don’t want this to interfere with our friendship, so I’m going to refer you to another business for this work from now on.” Or if it would go over better if it wasn’t personalized to him, you could say, “I’ve realized it’s too messy to take business from friends, so I have a new policy of referring friends to other providers.”

Alternately, you could tell him you’re willing to keep seeing him but need to get payment in advance and can’t book the appointment without that.

But yeah, it sounds like losing him as a client would be a good thing. It also might be a good idea to change the advertising campaign that features him, if that’s not a huge pain — or at least to be prepared to do it if he gets more difficult.

– 2019

Read an update to this letter here.

2. A car alarm is disrupting our office many times per hour

My office is small, one story, and located on a relatively busy street. There is a car that parks along the street directly in front our our building, and this car has a VERY sensitive car alarm. This has always been an issue since I started here, almost three years ago. The owner of said car previously used to have a car where the alarm system blared every single time a car would zip by. It didn’t matter if it was a smart car or a 4×4 lifted diesel truck, that alarm would go off. Every. Single. Time. Now, she has a different car, with an even more obnoxious car alarm. Sometimes it takes her 2-5 minutes to walk outside the building and turn it off, and it often happens nearly every 5-10 minutes. This is maddening. We are unable to hear clients on phone calls and unable to focus on work because her car alarm is blaring for what seems like hours, every 10 minutes. It is so bad, we have two clients that refuse to meet in our office, which is an issue because of the nature of our work.

The reason that we don’t know what to do is that this car does not belong to one of our employees. It belongs to someone in the next door office. I have suggested calling next door and requesting the employee park across the street in the communal lot, rather than right outside our front door, thinking that if it is located in the lot, it won’t be triggered by street noises. This was shut down because they don’t want to cause any hostile tensions between us and that company. They also believe this will come off as controlling. I have also suggested writing a friendly note and leaving it on her car, letting her know her car alarm is very disruptive to our business and the others on the street. This was also called too aggressive (which, who cares at this point). Aside from it being disruptive and giving me regular headaches, I am positive that this has to be annoying for the owner too. Having to get up from your desk to turn off your car alarm every 5-10 minutes has got to be disruptive and aggravating to her too, so I am really at a loss as to why she even wants to park there knowing she is gonna be pulled away from her desk to turn off the alarm. Do you or your readers have any suggestions?

P.S. I decided to track the alarm and how long it blasts each time it goes off. In the last 49 minutes, her car alarm has gone off seven times. Since it takes her so long to turn off the alarm, the alarm has been blasting for a combined 28 minutes. I am losing it.

Good lord, how is this woman okay with going outside leaving seven times in an hour to turn a car alarm? How is her employer okay with it? I do not understand this situation.

In any case, leave the note. You don’t need your employer’s permission to leave the note, as long as you don’t identify your company in it. Leave a note saying you work nearby, the alarm is giving you headaches and driving away clients, and beg her to disable the alarm (which clearly isn’t serving any function at this point) or try parking in the lot. That said, this is not someone who is governed by logic, so the note may make no difference.

Your other, and perhaps better, option is to report it to your local police. Many cities will cite car owners whose alarms go off too frequently.

– 2019

Read updates to this letter here and here.

3. Coworker’s son comes to work and has bad bathroom etiquette

I have a question that I hope will be funny for you and your readers despite the abject horror it has caused me and my colleagues. A C-suite person in our (small, 15-person) office occasionally brings her 12-year-old son to work with her due to childcare issues. My coworkers and I have no problem with this and are all very sympathetic to the plight of working parents. However, there is a major issue: the son regularly pees with the bathroom door wide open (not just one or two inches ajar). We have a single occupancy bathroom on this floor, which is shared by eight colleagues. The other workers are on another floor. Not only does he pee loudly and with the door open, but he frequently misses the toilet, leaves pee on the seat/floor, and doesn’t wash his hands. I know this because, sadly, my desk is right near the bathroom. We put a sign in the bathroom imploring all to wipe the seat if needed, but that doesn’t stop the son. The mother is known to be petty and vindictive, and HR is very hands-off. What to do?

The next time you see him going in the bathroom, say, “Cyril, please shut the door when you use the bathroom here.” Handle it just like you’d handle “Cyril, don’t run in the halls here” or “don’t throw those papers all over the place.” You might need to say it repeatedly until it sticks. Until then, if he’s in there with the door wide open, someone should walk over and close the door.

You can do the same with the mess: “Hey, you left a mess in here. Please come back and clean it up.” Every time. This will require you and your coworkers paying attention when he’s just left the bathroom but it sounds like it’s warranted.

In normal circumstances, you’d ask his mother to handle all of this, but since you describe her as petty and vindictive, you’re probably better off just dealing with it directly. Alternately, it’s reasonable to tell HR they need to intervene (the fact that they’re hands-off doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t, especially if you push hard enough) — but the fastest path here is just to tell Cyril directly what he needs to change. (And if you have any worries the mom will complain, let your manager and/or HR know ahead of time you’re planning to handle it yourselves so they’ve got that context before they hear from her.)

– 2019

Read an update to this letter here.

4. IT guy remotely accessed my laptop when I asked him not to

Today at work I was experiencing some technical issues, and raised a ticket with our IT support team who are based in another location. Later in the day, I was having a VERY busy hour when a member of the team instant messaged me in response to the ticket. I told him that it was a really bad time and asked if we could look at the issue a bit later, but he remotely accessed my computer anyway! (As in, he could see my screen and had taken over control of its function.)

Am I in the wrong for feeling like this out of order? Not only was it a bad time, but I actually had my online banking open in my browser which I would have preferred to have kept private. And what if I had been halfway through a presentation with an important client?!

On the other hand, I guess his job is to fix things — not to wait on a time that’s convenient for me, and I suppose I have no right to any real privacy on a company computer. I don’t know — I’m torn! What do you think?

I’m with you. If he absolutely had to do it right then because of his own schedule, he should have said something like, “This is the only time I’ll be able to look at it this week — okay for me to go ahead or would you rather wait until next week?”

As you pointed out, not only does this raise privacy issues (and sure, you don’t have real privacy on a work computer, but you’re still entitled to at least say, “Hold on, let me close my banking info”), but it could have been far more disruptive to your work than waiting would have been to his (like if you were presenting to a client, or dealing with a work crisis, or so forth).

– 2018

WASHINGTON—With a half-whispered murmur of “Hey, hey, ho, ho, [inaudible] has got to [inaudible],” thousands of the nation’s mumblers marched on Washington Wednesday demanding something or other. “Obviously these people care enough to take to the streets in protest, but we can’t tell what exactly they’re fighting for because they refuse to enunciate,” said D.C. resident Charles Naylor, who speculated that the group was either opposing nuclear power or demanding looser restrictions on exotic reptile ownership. “They just grumble about this or that and then trudge away while still talking under their breath. One guy managed to tell me he was fed up. When I asked him what he was fed up about, he just pointed to his sign, which was totally illegible. Whatever their message is, they seem pretty determined to make unintelligible bits and pieces of it heard.” At press time, the muttering demonstrators had shuffled over to the Capitol Building, though it remained unclear whether they were meeting with lawmakers or simply taking a guided tour.

The post Nation’s Mumblers March On Washington Demanding Something Or Other appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Making his case that the story of Elphaba and Glinda was too big for one picture, director Jon M. Chu defended on Wednesday his decision to split his new film Wicked into 230,400 successive images. “Narratively speaking, it just made sense to break the movie up into hundreds of thousands of pictures,” Chu said in response to criticism from fans of the Broadway musical, explaining that a series of smoothly transitioning images that tricked viewers’ brains into perceiving motion was the best way to adapt the story for the big screen. “At the end of the day, the benefits of creating an illusion of continuous movement throughout the film seemed to outweigh any drawbacks. And perhaps a bit of illusion is appropriate in a movie that features a wizard famous for his trickery and deception.” Pressed for further comment, Chu acknowledged caving to studio demands and hinted that a future director’s cut of Wicked would display a single still image on the screen for the entire duration of the film.

The post Jon M. Chu Defends Splitting ‘Wicked’ Into 230,400 Successive Images appeared first on The Onion.

PICKERING, ON ― A scathing new report released today has found that local 52-year-old Linda Pike’s mid-life crisis is every university student’s dream problem, and that they probably won’t notice when they reach theirs because it will be indistinguishable from their quarter-life and third-life crises. “Man, this woman has a spouse to divorce? Must be […]

The post Report: Exhausting, unfulfilling suburban life you hate is university student’s unattainable dream appeared first on The Beaverton.

Elton John, singer famed for “Tiny Dancer” and “Rocket Man,” announced to a theater audience that he had lost his sight, risking his ability to record new music. What do you think?

The post Elton John Reveals He Lost Vision From Eye Infection appeared first on The Onion.

MAR-A-LAGO, FL – U.S. President-Elect Donald Trump has unveiled a key component of his plan to make other member nations of NATO invest more in defense; turning America into a viable international target so they have no choice but to come to its rescue. “The United States has always had the best enemies. China, North […]

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President Joe Biden pardoned his son Hunter, sparing him a possible prison sentence for federal felony gun and tax convictions and reversing his past promises not to use the powers of the presidency for the benefit of his family. What do you think?

The post President Biden Pardons Son Hunter appeared first on The Onion.

In addition to the downtown leak, which flooded an intersection for several hours Monday, Houston Public Works says there's been an ongoing water leak at the intersection of Old Spanish Trail and Kirby Drive since mid-October.

TORONTO – As rumours and speculation fly around whether or not the Blue Jays will acquire free agent and four-time All-Star Juan Soto, Soto was recently spotted talking to Shohei Ohtani about the most effective ways to get Canadians’ hopes up before crushing them into the dirt. “The first thing you need to do is […]

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