In brief: Houston will see less rain and more sunshine for a few days before healthy rain chances return Friday and perhaps Saturday. We are also closely watching the evolution of a tropical disturbance that should move into the northeastern Gulf over the next 24 hours. Although it is likely to remain east of Texas, the forecast is far from certain.

Invest 93L

There has been a lot of chatter about a tropical disturbance, known as Invest 93L, which should move across Florida today and tonight into the northeastern Gulf of Mexico. The National Hurricane Center has increased the likelihood that this system becomes a tropical depression or tropical storm to 40 percent, but in reality we still have more questions than answers this morning.

For example, if the bulk of this activity crosses Florida and then the ‘center’ remains anchored over the Florida panhandle rather than offshore, it has very little chance to develop. If the center (which I used in quotes above, because no center is as yet observable) remains offshore then there is a better chance for this system to organize a little bit. Regardless the majority of modeling still keeps this system weak, as a tropical depression or less. For now I am not really concerned about winds and storm surge.

The bigger issue is rainfall potential, and I think there are risks across the Northern Gulf coast, from Florida to east Texas. The majority of our guidance continues to indicate that southern Louisiana is at the greatest risk for heavy rainfall during the second half of this week, with flooding distinctly possible there, but we cannot rule anything out. As soon as we have some clarity about this system—which is unlikely until after tonight, when the disturbance crosses the Florida peninsula—we will share more. At this time, we believe Houston is unlikely to see major effects. But we’ll continue to watch closely and update accordingly.

Tuesday

The upper air pattern over the Houston region still favors some showers today, but coverage and intensity should be less than on Monday. Overall I expect rain chances in the vicinity of 20 to 30 percent today, and as usual we can expect a few areas to see some decent accumulations whereas the rest of Houston sees little to no rainfall. Skies will be mostly sunny otherwise, with highs in the mid-90s. Lows tonight will only drop into the upper 70s. Winds, generally, will be light from the south.

Wednesday and Thursday

As pressures rise a little bit, and our atmosphere dries out a little in terms of precipitable water, rain chances during the middle of the week should fall back to about 10 percent daily, so maybe just a few very isolated showers along the sea breeze. With mostly sunny skies, these days should see highs somewhere in the mid-90s for most locations away from the coast. Nights will be warm and humid, as one would expect.

Friday and Saturday

By this time we should see a surge of atmospheric moisture from the Gulf, partly related to the tropical disturbance. Because that system’s evolution is unclear, so too is our forecast for Friday and Saturday. However, the most likely outcome is that Invest 93L moves into the northern Gulf coast before reaching Texas. Even so, we should see some healthy rain chances on Friday, likely above 50 percent for the region east of Interstate 45, and perhaps a little lower on Saturday. Skies will be mostly cloudy on Friday, keeping highs in the low 90s. Saturday should see a bit more sunshine, so expect highs in the mid-90s. Again this forecast is written in pencil at this point.

Sunday and next week

By Sunday or so, we should see sunnier skies and (probably) lower rain chances for awhile. Most of next week should bring highs in the mid-90s for much of Houston, so fairly typical weather for late July when Houston usually sizzles, albeit perhaps a few degrees warmer than normal.

Yeah, you got it. Keep skating if you ever want to see your pants again!

WASHINGTON—In a stunning security breach that reportedly left many top-ranking administration officials vulnerable to attack, the White House was evacuated Tuesday after the building’s trans alarm went off.

Officials confirmed the transgender alert system was triggered during President Donald Trump’s morning briefing, when infrared estrogen sensors in the West Wing detected a large spike in gender fluidity dangerously close to the Oval Office. With an alarm blaring the words “Trans, trans, trans,” the Secret Service initiated a Code Rainbow, which prompted agents to rush the president to safety, place Cabinet members in a hormone-proof bunker, and secure the premises from radical gender ideology.

“At approximately 10:02 a.m., a transgender individual actively approached the perimeter of a highly restricted cisgender-only area,” said Secret Service chief Sean Curran, adding that the trans alarm operated as intended when it immediately cut the lights, initiated a siren, and lowered several trans-resistant blast doors. “Thanks to our brave, quick-thinking officers on the White House security detail, President Trump and the penis he was born with are safe from any harmful hormone therapies or gential mutilation.”

“We train for this,” Curran added. “We are thankful the president was unharmed and remains a straight white cisgender male.”

In security video taken from the scene, Secret Service agents could be seen shielding Trump as they quickly outfitted him with a hormone-proof vest and whisked him across the White House lawn, where he was loaded into a Blackhawk helicopter. Upon reaching Andrews Air Force Base, he was reportedly flown to an undisclosed location in an anti-trans jet equipped with technology that allowed it to scan the area for androgyny, gender nonconformity, and other LGBTQ-related threats.

Following the administration’s established trans evacuation protocol, several prominent male officials, including Vice President JD Vance, deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller, and budget director Russell Vought, were ushered into the Traditional Values Bunker, a secure facility where they were given mandatory genital inspections, injected with a shot of testosterone, and ordered to pleasure themselves to completion while watching emergency hetero-
normative pornography.

Traumatized staffers told reporters they barricaded themselves in their offices, frantically called 911, and texted their loved ones goodbye as the trans person walked past the building along Pennsylvania Avenue, appearing unafraid to shirk traditional gender norms and be unashamedly and unabashedly themselves.

“When I heard the trans alarm, I thought to myself, this is the end,” said 29-year-old White House aide Chase Kettering, adding that he hid under his desk, cried, and sent his wife what he feared would be a final photo of his genitals. “At that point, I kneeled down and prayed. I said, ‘God, holy father in heaven, please do not let the trans person turn me into a girl.’ Then I picked up a Bible, yelled as many slurs as I could think of, and started running.”

“At first I thought it was a drill,” Kettering continued. “But sadly, a trans person can strike at any time. These days, no one, and nowhere, is safe.”

Despite the severity of the security breach, President Trump is said to be in good spirits and to have spent the afternoon calling the victims’ families, including the children of a White House security official who was trampled to death by cis men fleeing the scene, and the wife of Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, who suffered fatal injuries when an anti-trans quarantine screen descended from the ceiling and sliced him in half. According to sources, press secretary Karoline Leavitt became collateral damage when she died in a hail of estrogen-seeking bullets that had been intended for the trans threat. 

“Today, we honor the many brave biological men and women who lost their lives protecting Donald Trump from pronouns, allyship, and tolerance,” said House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), adding that the fallen would always be remembered as true patriots who stood in the way of someone expressing their gender. “These were more than just government workers. They were real, red-blooded alpha males with defined muscles, baritone voices, and strong, angular chins. They were quiet, docile trad wives who loved to cook, clean, and gratify every sexual desire of their husbands.”

“It takes a real hero to face the reality of being in the same vicinity as a trans person,” Johnson added. “And for that, we will be forever grateful.”

Several Cabinet members praised Trump’s bravery and circulated triumphant footage of the president raising his fist, unzipping his pants, flashing his penis at the cameras, and saying, “Fight! Fight! Fight!” 

The post White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off appeared first on The Onion.

LAKELAND, FL—Frustrated by the care center’s lack of an adequate signal, Caleb Morris, grandson of local woman Judith Scalzo, complained Tuesday that Sun Haven Hospice had shitty Wi-Fi. “Fuck, Grandma, I can’t even get YouTube videos to load in this goddamn place,” said Morris, admonishing his terminally ill and barely lucid grandmother for choosing to live out the final days of her life in a facility with such a janky connection. “Seriously, how do you expect me to level up in Fortnite when there’s so much lag? And I can’t even use my phone as a hotspot, because it’s down to 15% and you’re hogging all the outlets with your ventilator. This is bullshit. You never should have moved in here.” At press time, Morris expressed hope for an improved Wi-Fi situation the next time he visited his grandmother, saying he had just heard from his parents that she had gone to a better place. 

The post Grandma’s Hospice Has Shitty Wi-Fi appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Lighting up his phone night and day with their cruel taunts, a group of teenage girls reportedly convinced Vice President JD Vance to kill himself Tuesday. “Everyone I know thinks you’re so gross,” 16-year-old Bailey Hayworth said in a video message she sent to Vance, causing the vice president of the United States to throw himself on his bed as he contemplated ending everything just to stop the constant stream of barbs from the high school sophomore and her mean friends on the junior varsity volleyball team—Abigail, Paige, Payton, and Sofia. “Seriously, where do you even find a suit like that? You’re ugly and irrelevant. If there were an insurrection today, people wouldn’t even remember you were there. Hey, you know what? You should definitely run in 2028.” Vance was last seen in an Instagram Live broadcast sobbing as he rummaged through his medicine cabinet and swallowed a handful of pills.

The post Group Of Teen Girls Convinces JD Vance To Kill Himself appeared first on The Onion.

TRAVERSE CITY, MI—Casually strolling from the shoulder of the road and into traffic, former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg reportedly spoke the words “I used to work here” Thursday morning as he wandered onto a busy highway near his home. “Hey guys, remember me?” Buttigieg said while flashing a grin and waving cheerfully at a bus on U.S. Route 31, where dozens of cars and trucks swerved around him, their drivers shouting expletives and honking their horns. “These are my old stomping grounds. It was the first real job I ever had, you know? These white dotted lines haven’t changed one bit. Hey, why’s everyone in such a hurry? Doesn’t anyone want to come say hi? I brought fresh gasoline!” Buttigieg was then seen crossing over to the median, where he shook a hoof and introduced himself to a large piece of bloodied roadkill. 

The post ‘I Used To Work Here,’ Says   Pete Buttigieg, Wandering    Onto Busy Highway appeared first on The Onion.

The post MAGA Voter Drills Hole Into Skull To Relieve Sudden Doubts About Trump appeared first on The Onion.

1. Thirteen-year-olds work unsupervised in ninety-degree heat.

2. The water contains disturbingly high levels of mercury and pee.

3. Strictest workplace safety regulation: NO RUNNING sign.

4. Its leader stars in garish commercials that wake you up at 3 a.m., and his eyes follow you from towering billboards along the interstate.

5. Medical emergencies are handled in the official Monster Energy Refueling Tent.

6. Purchases can only be made using proprietary currencies with unknowable exchange rates pegged to arbitrary reserves, mostly oversized novelty sunglasses.

7. Every single tree was chopped down to make room for another Dippin’ Dots cart.

8. The legal system consists of a dozen private security guards who skim profits from the gift shop and skim bugs from the Lazy River.

9. Strange men are free to ogle young women with no repercussions.

10. The sewage system is made up of thirty-seven porta-potties and one large bush.

11. Lack of food regulations allows the masses to choose between numerous options, like unidentified meat on a stick or meat on a stick that you’d prefer remain unidentified.

12. Zero rules about adults or their children openly smoking cigarettes.

13. Popular flora and fauna include palm trees (on novelty T-shirts) and pigeons (on your lunch).

14. For a certain type of teenage boy, this is the pinnacle of human civilization.

15. The entire operation shuts down after three months.

1–15: Both

Vaccination rates are still relatively high, but they need to be for herd immunity. For ProPublica, Duaa Eldeib and Patricia Callahan, with graphics by Lucas Waldron, highlight states that fell below the recommended threshold for measles over the past decade.

At least 36 states have witnessed a drop in rates for at least one key vaccine from the 2013-14 to the 2023-24 school years. And half of states have seen an across-the-board decline in all four vaccination rates. Wisconsin, Utah and Alaska have experienced some of the most precipitous drops during that time, with declines of more than 10 percentage points in some cases.

“There is a direct correlation between vaccination rates and vaccine-preventable disease outbreak rates,” said a spokesperson for the Utah Department of Health and Human Services. “Decreases in vaccination rates will likely lead to more outbreaks of vaccine-preventable diseases in Utah.”

A state grid map with difference charts show decreasing rates. There is a thin margin for error.

Tags: herd, measles, ProPublica, vaccination

So a few weeks back, prompted by the hosting provider for MysticDungeonClub no longer supporting FreeBSD so I need to move rather post-haste, I bought a new domain, with the ~worst~ BEST name I've ever come up with, I fear that I have now peaked and nothing will ever top this:

Cyberhole.online

A hole for cybering in, as one does. It's like Mel's Hole but even more deep and mysterious.

In the Cyberhole, I intend to put a bunch of services and objects, mostly very retro, like a Gopher hole (which I have tested). That'll be like the cool kids' version of a .plan file for me.

Over on MDC, I have a bunch of retro "console" minigames, but they're using an old framework I made that's pretty heavyweight, node and a database in the back-end. I can't reasonably code those in anything except a giant pile of ass JavaScript.

So conveniently OldComputerChallenge comes along, asking us to use old computers. I use old computers all the time, but mostly in virtualized form supported by other people, emulators like Atari800MacX and remake machines like the SpecNext and HyperMegaTech Super Pocket Atari. We all know I don't like Other Peoples' Code, so I need to solve that problem by supporting myself.

For the week, I'm working on making TinyBasicWeb which will put a bare minimum TinyBASIC in a web page, client-side (there will be back-end support for the "disk operating system", likely in the form of a CGI script). I think it's a doable thing in the week, I've done very similar scale projects in less time. Right now I have a terminal in "memo pad" mode that I can cursor around and draw in, and tonight I'm working on input routines.

The more interesting longer-term part is that I'll end up with a MUCH lighter-weight console for putting up my minigames, and it's super easy to wire this to talk over the network, so I can put something like Chez Scheme on the back end.

Further Cyberhole news as I dig it deeper.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Proselytizing religious training at work

I work at an education institution where over half of our student body follow a religion that is otherwise a minority in our region. Our students have been advocating for training for staff to combat and help recognize prejudice against this religion, and this finally happened a few weeks ago. However, I had major issues with the training, which was delivered by someone selected by a panel of students. The information they shared had a heavy tone of proselytizing (talking about why this religion is actually more moral/ethical than other belief systems, and thus people who follow it are likewise more moral/behave better than other people). They suggested that it’s discriminatory to be a secular workplace and to not allow devout students/staff to openly practice and talk about their beliefs.

Obviously, there are elements of this that are true: you can’t ban wearing religious garb or taking time off for religious holidays in the name of a secular workplace, but I found it very uncomfortable and inappropriate to suggest that wanting a workplace to be largely free of religion is discriminatory. I’m struggling with how to express my discomfort with this, as I get the sense a lot of my colleagues think it’s our duty, as staff who are not part of this religion, to take whatever training we’ve been given at face value, and given there are already difficult power dynamics in play when most of the staff don’t share the beliefs of these students. I also know that this training isn’t going to materially impact our actual policies, so maybe it isn’t worth saying anything at all. Is there any way to raise my discomfort, and is it worth trying?

If there were things in the training that were factually inaccurate about employers’ legal obligations, you should definitely raise that; your institution presumably doesn’t want trainings where objectively incorrect info is being given out.

But I can’t quite tell if that was the case. Whether or not it’s true that employers have to allow staff to openly practice and discuss their religious beliefs depends on the specifics of what “openly practice and discuss” means. Does that mean unwelcome proselytizing to colleagues (which is something that employers cannot allow)? Allowing a bible study group to operate while people are supposed to be working? (They can legally prohibit that.) Giving people time to pray if they’re supposed to pray at a certain time of day? (Must be allowed.) Or just openly talking about their beliefs and practices? (Must be allowed in most cases.) So it depends on exactly what was said at the training.

The proselytizing was inappropriate regardless, but whether to raise that probably depends on how flagrant it was (as well as, realistically, how much capital it will take to push back).

2. Keeping personal “for my use only” soap in the office bathroom

Very low stakes question: I work in a massive building with over 1,000 staff members. A bottle of fancy perfumed soap has just appeared in the toilets with a note taped to it saying, “Property of Rose, do not use.” It appears people are respecting this, but is this a tiny bit cheeky? It clearly wouldn’t be practical for everyone to bring in their own hand soap. I’m not mad at the person or anything, we all got a chuckle out of it, just intrigued what AAM would make of it.

It’s possible there’s an explanation that would make you more sympathetic, like that Rose’s skin doesn’t play well with the soap the company provides and this is one of the few products that prevents her from itching/breaking out in hives/growing two noses/etc. Or sure, she might just want to use her own fancy soap without sharing. I would say the first is not cheeky at all, and the second is a little … well, unrealistic, since I can almost guarantee that her note won’t be universally respected. (Because of that, if she feels strongly about no one else using it, she’s probably better off carting it back and forth with her each time.) If it is a medical need, she might have more success explaining that in the note.

3. How do I get a job with a hugely varied job history and a new MBA?

I just graduated with my MBA from a good school. It’s taken a very long time to get (graduated high school in 2012 and only got a bachelor’s in 2022), and the entire time I was studying, I would have one or more jobs. These were in incredibly disparate fields, from real estate to environmental science, but always low-level and usually part-time. I have worked on assembly lines, at retail tech stores, fast food, you name it. I’ve been director of a small cybersecurity company, canvassed a whole state for the census bureau … I’ve even been a wizard! (That one involved teaching chess after school to elementary schoolers in a robe and hat — very fun.)

I currently work at an entertainment venue part-time, making $18 an hour for about 20 hours a week. I walk dogs, which can add between $100-300 per week, though that’s less stable. On top of that, I own and operate a fan news website that, while successful, is an all-volunteer not-for-profit, so nobody on my team (including myself) makes any money off of it. I also am working with an indie game studio on marketing their first game (also no money there yet) and am building my own studio with an artist to produce and sell 3D printable miniatures.

Needless to say, I know how to work. However, given that so many of these jobs are “gigs” and never led to any kind of career advancement, I’m worried that as I look for a real job that can provide for myself, my resume will just be instantly rejected. I see my wide variety of experience as a strength, as it allows me to come up with innovative ideas that others wouldn’t. But the way the job market is, with crazy high unemployment for recent grads, I worry that I’ve screwed myself by not sticking to a particular field and will be perpetually stuck at the bottom of whatever organization happens to need grunt work and pays a tiny bit more than my last job.

Since you just got it, the MBA should act as a reset of sorts and open up a range of jobs that require an MBA and weren’t available to you previously. But that window is fairly short-lived; you need to act on it now, before the reset gets reset again (which it could if you don’t use it in the next couple of years). I would (a) streamline your resume significantly so that you’re only highlighting the jobs that most strengthen you for the specific roles you’re applying for (that doesn’t mean it’s not all useful in some way, but you want to tell a cohesive story to hiring managers and in your case less will probably be more in that regard) and (b) lean heavily on your MBA program’s connections to jobs (which frankly are half the benefit of getting an MBA and you should take full advantage of them as a new graduate of the program; it won’t be as easy to later on).

4. Asking for naps as an accommodation

I was recently diagnosed with narcolepsy and, while medication can help, it is not always totally effective. As such, I may need to request a 20-30 minute block in my schedule to take a power nap. This is a common accommodation for narcolepsy, and I am in a field where this would not cause an undue burden. However, I am struggling to figure out how to phrase “I need to take a daily nap” in a professional manner. Do you have any advice on phrasing?

Project Sleep has a really good toolkit on asking for accommodations for narcolepsy, and they offer this sample language: “Narcolepsy is a chronic neurological condition of the sleep/wake cycle. Due to my narcolepsy, my brain enters a fogginess once or twice a day, and to relieve this, I take one or two naps daily as part of my treatment. These naps last 10-20 minutes each, reducing my symptoms and improving my cognitive functioning. I seek a quiet, secluded room within the work building to be able to close the door for privacy and rest in a reclined or laying position, once or twice daily as necessary.” (Note that you’d be saying this in the context of an official request for accommodations under the ADA; they have a sample one in the linked toolkit.) They also suggest including a letter from your doctor reiterating the need for the accommodation.

5. Should I warn new grads not to complain on LinkedIn?

I work in a very competitive industry, and it can often be extremely difficult to break in. As such, I have a lot of LinkedIn connections who are recent college grads applying for jobs. I do a lot of informational interviews and offer advice where I can.

Lately, a lot of those hopefuls have been writing very long LinkedIn posts about how this industry is impossible to get into, they’ve applied to X number of jobs with no response, and after interviews are denied positions. While it’s no secret that there is a barrier for people trying to get entry-level positions (that’s not even touching the topic of diversity), it feels strange to vent your frustrations — even going as far to name companies — on a public forum where your potential future employers might be looking. Is this something I should bring up to hopefuls when I’m doing informational interviews or being asked for advice, or is this just a new aspect of job-searching?

I don’t think you need to bring it up proactively to someone who’s shown no signs of complaining publicly on LinkedIn; most people won’t do that, and it’s likely to come across as an odd thing to warn them about. But if you’re talking to someone who’s done it? It would absolutely be a kindness to explain that they risk turning off employers who see it, and that while venting frustration is perfectly understandable, it’s something they should save for less public venues.

Related:
do LinkedIn sob stories turn off hiring managers?

The post religious training at work, asking for naps as an accommodation, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

wintoplane:

Hall And Oates - Daryl Hall

springbreak1984:

classichorrorblog:

The Lost Boys
Directed by Joel Schumacher (1987)

BASTROP, TEXAS – Following a controversial week on X when the site’s AI, Grok, repeatedly made antisemitic statements and claimed to be MechaHitler, X has assured its users that they’ve fixed all of the issues with the rogue LLM—as long as everyone who interacts with it from now on has blood that is both clean […]

The post Grok refusing to answer questions unless X users upload blood tests to prove the purity of their DNA appeared first on The Beaverton.

vintage miltek t-shirt

dodopenguin

A dodo bird resembling a penguin argues with a person wearing a vintage miltek t-shirt merch

Dodo: "MATA would never do anything to harm their customers!"

https://analognowhere.com/_/mxolge

• archive
• support/store

appalachian-werewolf:

WASHINGTON—Facing mounting backlash from his MAGA base over his perceived ties to the Jeffrey Epstein case, President Donald Trump reportedly encouraged his supporters Monday to simply move on from society’s widespread disdain for pedophilia. “It’s time to just accept that some people like having sex with kids and focus on the fantastic things we’re doing to win back the respect of the world,” said Trump, who expressed frustration that instead of celebrating the passage of his domestic spending bill or his historic deportation numbers, many of his supporters were getting distracted by “something that people have done since ancient Greece.” “Are people really still talking about the sexual abuse of children? Let it go! Our administration is making America great again. That’s the story, not whether I or anyone else ‘diddled’ an underage girl! The case is closed. Sometimes kids get molested. Maybe they shouldn’t dress like such sluts!” Trump went on to state that he has had many pedophile friends and associates over the years who have been fine, hardworking Americans.

The post Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia  appeared first on The Onion.

After losing hundreds of staff members to federal layoffs, FEMA faces a number of potential budget cuts that would further affect the government’s ability to respond to crises in the future. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.:

Daily operating hours

231st:

Where Hurricane Katrina response will rank on list of worst FEMA disaster relief efforts by 2035

98%:

Rescuers only in it for the cool jacket

$20:

Standard tip for successful roof evacuation

2.67:

DOGE-appointed head of Response and Recovery team’s current GPA at George Mason University

12:

Pages in this goddamn application

The post FEMA By The Numbers appeared first on The Onion.

eightiesfan:

Sony Double cassette player 1985

nostalgic-retrosexual:

Alyssa Milano (1985)

atomic-chronoscaph:

Pee-wee’s Big Adventure (1985)

lovesthe1980s:

Kim Wilde and Limahl

appalachian-werewolf: