#CowboyWho

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Interview questions meant to identify covert North Korean workers

As you may already know, with the rise of remote work, some sectors in the U.S. have had an issue with North Korean workers applying for work while pretending to be a U.S. citizen, with an American liaison hosting their work laptop in the U.S. and providing aid with documents and such. Since this has been discovered, some interviewers have of course tried to find ways to weed out these fraudulent applicants, and I was wondering what you think of the matter.

I heard today of an interviewer who would ask candidates to repeat a phrase like “Kim Jong Un is a fucking asshole” to prove they aren’t from the DPRK. It seems effective, but I feel like this could be sketchy on the legal front. My kneejerk reaction was that this could be seen as discriminatory based on political beliefs, but I realize that even if it were covered by states with those protections, it would be difficult to pursue. I also think the inability of any current DPRK citizen to legally work in the U.S. would negate claims of discrimination based on national origin. I do think it could be an issue if this wasn’t requested of all candidates interviewed, and wonder if it could seem stereotypical to the level of racial discrimination. Do you think this is as messy of a solution as it seems? Do you know of or have any ideas for what other solutions interviewers could implement here?

It’s an absurd solution. First, it assumes a North Korean citizen would be incapable of repeating those words insincerely and in the pursuit of what they saw as a greater good, which is likely a flawed assumption. Second, it makes them look incredibly weird to everyone else (both because of the request itself and because if this is what they consider a strong security practice, that’s a problem).

I don’t know what the right security solution is — that’s way outside my expertise — but there are entire fields specializing in it, so step one would be to consult with someone whose job it is to know!

2. I promised an employee a promotion before I should have

I manage a 25-person department in a large, bureaucratic organization. The department is organized into three groups, and I was an outside hire a couple of years ago. Generally speaking, my staff is great — we punch above our weight in a lot of our work.

Last summer, the organization started going through a process improvement push. As part of that, my boss (who is in the C-suite) told me that he would support me in doing a small reorg in my department to create a fourth group on my team focusing on more strategic projects. I am excited by this idea, because if anything is holding my team back, it is the difficulty of focusing on longer-term projects when we have so many immediate deadlines. This reorg would allow me to promote Paula, who is developing into a rock star. We’ve already informally moved Paula into a position that focuses on process improvement, but being able to give her a small team and turn her loose to focus on strategic work could be huge for us. Also, I worry that without these changes I will eventually lose her to someone else, either an internal team with a promotion opportunity or another company.

I know you’re going to tell me this next part was a mistake, but I told Paula about the reorg/promotion idea shortly after my boss and I agreed to put it into motion. And then, I ran into a bureaucratic nightmare of trying to get HR approval to make the changes required. I need to reclassify a position to promote Paula and create a team for her, and I keep getting told “not right now.” The broader organization is going through budget tightening and it’s hard to get approval for spending more on salaries (which the promotion would require). We have support to make these changes from the C-suite, but everything is going really slowly.

It’s been eight months since I floated this idea with Paula, and I’m still working on actually getting approval to do it! My boss is supportive. His boss is supportive. It’s just going really, really slowly. I’ve been up-front with Paula on what’s going on but I worry that she is going to lose confidence. What should I do, since I can’t go back in time and stop myself from discussing this with her?

Does your C-suite boss have any pull to expedite this? Ideally the next step is a conversation with him to express your concerns about losing Paula and ask him what a realistic timeline is so that both you and she can plan. Emphasize that you want a realistic timeline, not an optimistic one, and also ask if there’s anything you should prepare for that might derail that.

Right now, the most important thing you can give Paula is very, very realistic info about what’s going on and what the timeline will likely look like, so that she doesn’t feel like she’s being strung along or being fed overly optimistic projections. “I’m so sorry about this but it’s going to be at least eight months because of X” is more confidence-enhancing in her shoes than hearing “it’s really slow going but we’re working on it” every so often — because the former is specific and you won’t sound as much like you’re stringing her along. You can also ask if there are things that she wants during the waiting period that you can offer — maybe that’s a title change or authority to do X or help removing obstacle Y. Or maybe there’s nothing, but you should talk with her and find out.

Ultimately, you might lose Paula if this drags out, but that’s just the reality of how these things go.

3. My boss didn’t include a major accomplishment in my review

I work for a nonprofit that underwent a major systems overhaul last year, replacing outdated internal tools with a new CRM. The transition was rocky and in the months following launch, many of us worked significant overtime to stabilize workflows and prevent service disruptions. During that period, I consistently worked 60-hour weeks identifying and documenting system issues critical to our department’s function. One project in particular required substantial independent effort and had a surprisingly helpful impact on improving operations.

Because of the organization’s financial strain from the rollout, staff received only modest cost-of-living increases this past review cycle, with no merit raises. I’m genuinely okay with that, as I value the mission and benefits, and I understand the constraints.

My concern is recognition, not compensation. In my 2025 performance review, my supervisor did not mention my largest post-launch contribution. I added context in my written response, but it wasn’t reflected in their evaluation. In a recent one-on-one, I asked whether the extra work done during the transition period could be considered in next year’s review cycle.

My supervisor seemed to interpret my question as a complaint about compensation and responded by explaining the organization’s budget deficit. I clarified that I appreciated the context but didn’t push back or mention that I wasn’t asking for more money.

Now I’m concerned about two things: first, that my contributions during a uniquely demanding period won’t be formally recognized, and second, that my supervisor may have misinterpreted my intent as dissatisfaction with pay.

Is it reasonable to expect that work done in a particularly intense period (like a major system rollout) would carry over into the next performance review cycle if it wasn’t fully captured in the previous one? Should I proactively clarify with my manager that my concern is about accurate recognition of my contributions and not compensation? If so, how direct should I be?

I want to advocate for my work without coming across as transactional or tone-deaf to the organization’s financial realities. At the same time, I don’t want a significant effort to effectively disappear from the record.

I can see why your manager interpreted it that way — usually when someone is concerned about considering a particular piece of work in a particular review cycle, it’s linked to money. In part that’s because in a lot of organizations, the content of a particular evaluation doesn’t matter that much year to year; rather, the content’s main impact is on (a) your pay and (b) your overall rating. If your overall rating was already very high and you’re not advocating for it to be increased, I can see why your manager assumed what you were advocating for was money. It sounds like you really just want the work itself it be recognized within the narrative of the review — which isn’t unreasonable, but that’s probably why she missed it.

You could go back to her and say something like, “I think I miscommunicated my interest in having the X work included in my review. I’m not asking for a different raise or even a different rating; rather, it was such a significant part of my work this year, and I believe had strong enough results, that ideally I’d like it be included in the written record of my work for this period.”

4. My job might want me to take on new work — how do I ask for more details?

I currently work in accounts receiving but the bulk of my experience is in accounts payable. At my current job, the accounts payable Major Dames might be retiring by the end of the year. I have been approached to take over their duties (along with some automation).

I asked how much time I had to think and was told Q3 at the earliest (because The Major Dames might push back their retirement). I’ve taken the time to think and I want to move forward with this. How do I approach the conversation in which I want to say, “Yes, I want this. What does it look like? Like title *ahem* pay … etc.” Should I ask what concerns they might have with me now so I can address them? The more I think, the better it seems but instead of getting wrapped up in the fantasy of better money and more pay, how do I instigate the conversation: tell me more?

Be straightforward! “I’ve given it some thought and I’m very interested. Can you tell me more about what that would look like logistically, as well as what it would mean for my title and pay?”

Be prepared for the possibility that they might not have been planning to change those things! If that turns out to the case, you could say, “Based on the increase in responsibility, I was hoping we could consider X or similar for a title, with a salary change to reflect the increased work.”

You don’t need to ask what concerns they might have with you; from what they’ve said so far, they might not have any. If they do start to seem less solid about moving forward with this, at that point you could ask whether they have specific concerns about your ability to take on the work, but based on what’s been said so far it doesn’t sound like you need to ask that right now.

5. I need business referrals but I also need friends

I am a professional fine artist. I’m building my business around custom commissions for clients. My paintings are at a price point where they’d be considered luxury goods by a lot of people and as a result, my business relies heavily on referrals. I am lucky and grateful to have a lot of friends who are very supportive, very impressed with what I do, and tell their friends about it. However, I don’t want to fall into the tupperware party trap of turning all my friends into business leads.

I’d love to hear from other readers in similar situations about strategies they use to grow their business without wrecking their social lives.

I’m happy to throw this out to readers, but as a general rule I think it’s fine to say once, “If you’re ever interested in a commission or know someone who is, I’d love to talk about it!” Saying it once is completely fine — you’re letting them know of your availability. After that, though, assume they’ll tell you if they’re interested in doing that; they may be friends who are very supportive but not likely to pay luxury-good prices for art, and that’s okay!

The post interview questions meant to identify North Koreans, I promised an employee a promotion before I should have, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

STANFORD, CA—Issuing a stern reminder to all concert attendees, event security staff warned BTS fans Tuesday evening that flash photography would trigger J-Hope’s assassination protocol. “Have your tickets ready, keys and phones out of your pockets, and—this part is very important, so please listen up—make sure flash settings on your phones and cameras are off, ” said a security staffer positioned near the entrance to the stadium, who shouted out the instructions to make sure all fans had a fun, safe, and secret South Korean military weapon–free night. “Trust me, you don’t want to activate J-Hope’s attack mode. He’s stronger than an elephant and faster than lightning. And official light sticks only, please. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Tampa.” Security officials also reminded fans there would be no refunds in the event J-Hope snapped their necks.

The post BTS Fans Warned Flash Photography Will Trigger J-Hope’s Assassination Protocol appeared first on The Onion.

McSweeney’s and Broadway Video present the official over-six-hundred-page comprehensive companion book to IFC’s Documentary Now!, made with the assistance of series directors Rhys Thomas and Alex Buono and including new writing by Seth Meyers, a foreword by Pulitzer Prize–finalist Matt Zoller Seitz, the complete sheet music for John Mulaney and Eli Bolin’s Co-op: The Musical, and much more.

The book is out now, and to celebrate, we’re sharing an excerpt featuring the show’s very first host, the legendary Burt Lancaster.

A fierce advocate for independent cinema and documentary, Burt Lancaster was the original host of Documentary Now!¹, serving in this capacity for over a decade. He began his career as an acrobat, and after serving in WWII, ascended to the heights of Hollywood stardom, appearing in such classics as From Here to Eternity, The Leopard, The Swimmer, and many more. This introduction has been included in all editions of this book.

The original 1975 introduction by
Documentary Now!’s first host,
Burt Lancaster

The first time I saw a film camera, it was in the hands of an amateur documentarian. He was a small man with piercing blue eyes who had come to record the circus where I was performing as part of the acrobatic team, Lang and Cravat. He owned a chain of picture houses outside Miami, and he wanted a one-reeler he could show before the main attractions. I can still recall the butterflies fluttering in my stomach that afternoon. Suddenly, the bars seemed slipperier. The crowd seemed louder. Performing our trapeze routine on film added a layer of permanence to the whole affair.

I share all this to give you a sense of how momentous it is to have one’s life recorded. Documentary as a medium is one of our most powerful precisely because it can reach out into the real world and extract beauty and complexity from one’s actual life.

A still from Kunuk Uncovered.

It’s always a lovely compliment when an actor’s performance is praised as honest, or when a Hollywood film is lauded by the press as “real.” But in the documentary, there’s no need for such puffery. This business of costumes, and casting, and producers calling with notes about the script, well, the documentary doesn’t have to contend with all that. The stories you see are the truth. The people you meet aren’t pretending. If film is the most democratic of modern forms, then documentary is its pinnacle.

A still from Globesman.

In that regard, hosting Documentary Now! has been one of the great honors of my career. This fine program consistently showcases bold, thoughtful, and revolutionary work. The films they’ve broadcast since their inception are unlike anything else in the entertainment landscape. And now, as we set down words and cement celluloid dreams onto the printed page, our humble aspiration is that we might capture a fraction of this essence.

Classic posters from two classic documentaries.

As for that first documentary, the one-reeler of my trapeze performance. Well, I never saw the final result. But I can still recall the incredible feeling of being filmed. It was the feeling that perhaps my story was worthy of telling. It was the feeling that, perhaps, they all are.

¹ After his retirement, Lancaster was replaced by a rotating cast of hosts, including Gregory Peck, John Pierson, Mel Gibson, James Naughton, Richard Roeper, and Billy Bob Thornton, before Helen Mirren took on the mantle permanently in 2008.

You can buy Documentary Now! in our store.

through the grapevine

• archive

#Rowen #RoninWarriors

A reader writes:

I work for a large nonprofit organization; I started here a few months ago. I am a mid-career professional, and in general, I feel like I usually have pretty good instincts for how to handle interpersonal conflict at work. But I feel stumped by this one.

In a recent call (on Zoom/video) with approximately 10 staff members, we were discussing a stressful work project where a lot of things are going wrong. One of the senior leaders on my team said (I am paraphrasing), “If XYZ happens, I will kill someone.”

They did not name a specific person; they seemed to be expressing their extreme frustration at how the project was going.

I tried to intervene with empathy, saying something like, “I know, this is a very stressful situation and it’s frustrating that we are facing these issues.” The leader then said, “I am not joking. I will literally kill someone.”

From this person’s tone and body language, I feel like they actually were (probably) joking … even though they said, “I am not joking!” But no matter what the person intended, it does not sit well with me. The more I think about it, the more I feel (a) uncomfortable at people threatening homicide in the workplace and (b) resentful that I feel like I need to spend time wondering if my senior leader will or will not actually commit a harmful act.

My feeling is: any time someone says that they intend to kill someone — either themself or someone else — we as a society should err on the side of caution and not ignore it. So I am wondering if I should say something and, if so, to whom?

We do not have an anonymous reporting tip line in my office, so the options I am considering include HR and my own boss, with whom I have a good relationship (though this person is their boss, so I feel discomfort in that).

P.S. For what it’s worth, I am keeping my eyes and ears out as I learn more about working at this place, because not long after this, another person on the call said something like, “You are not the first person today to express homicidal tendencies in a meeting.” I am beginning to wonder if this just a toxic work culture.

It’s much, much more likely that these are people using hyperbole to express frustration than that they are actually considering murder.

To be clear, that’s not good! People shouldn’t do that. But a lot of people do talk this way, just like a lot of people say “if this printer jams one more time, I’m going to throw myself out the window” without meaning they are truly considering self-harm.

You are entitled not to want to hear that kind of thing at work. And people need to be more thoughtful about how their language might land with someone who, for example, had a loved one murdered or who did in fact throw themselves out a window. People tend to use this kind of expression without thinking about the fact that those things happen in real life, and that their audience may include people have been affected by the exact thing they’re joking about.

But it’s also true that this kind of expression pops up at work sometimes, and you are generally expected to differentiate between clear hyperbole and a potential threat. I want to be clear — I’m not saying that’s right, just that it’s usually the reality of it.

As for what to do, you could certainly talk to HR and/or your boss about it. They will probably tell you that it sounds like hyperbole to them, and your boss in particular might have more insight about her boss that would put it in context. But you could point out that it’s jarring and upsetting to hear that kind of thing at work, especially as someone fairly new who doesn’t have long relationships with the parties involved to put it in context, and suggest reminding people — and especially this manager — to be more thoughtful about their language.

The post a senior leader threatened to kill someone in a meeting appeared first on Ask a Manager.

You. Me. Runway battle.

Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
I'm so incredibly available to write this movie and 17 sequels. It's like the movie Wall Street, but with dolls.

WASHINGTON—Declaring the financial allocation a matter of utmost urgency, President Donald Trump on Monday requested $1.2 trillion to have. “I’m calling upon Congress today to immediately provide me with $1.2 trillion in funding that I currently do not possess but which I will possess once it is given to me,” said Trump, acknowledging that he had previously asked for just $900 billion but was now requesting more so that he would have more. “Even as we speak, I do not have this money, and the only way for me to get it is through swift budgetary action. I’ve gone too long without $1.2 trillion that I’d very much like to have so I can spend it on things I want. It is also possible I’ll want to have more money at a later date, and I will request it then.” At press time, the Senate passed the $1.2 trillion spending measure mostly along party lines, with Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) joining all Republicans in support.

The post Trump Requests $1.2 Trillion To Have appeared first on The Onion.

Hey, check this out! This is pretty wild! #CowboyWho

In brief: A quick Monday table setter to discuss severe weather today, flooding concerns that are coming up, and an early season heat wave on the East Coast. Eastern Pacific hurricane season is also officially underway.

Tropical concerns: None.

Eastern Pacific hurricane season began on Friday, and it looks quiet for the time being. Nothing on the Atlantic side to get us stirred up either. Look for part 3 of our 2025 Atlantic season in review on Wednesday.

Severe weather concerns: Moderate risk today Kansas/SE Nebraska

A moderate risk (level 4/5) is in place today for much of central and northeast Kansas, as well as southeast Nebraska. The risk today is for significant hail and strong tornadoes in this area.

Storms should develop later this afternoon and advance east across Iowa and Missouri. Much of those areas are in enhanced (3/5) and slight (2/5) risk as well. So there is substantial risk for damaging thunderstorms today and tonight in these regions.

Storms will advance south and east tomorrow where a very broad slight risk (2/5) is in place from Upstate New York into Texas.

Flooding concerns: Central U.S., including Texas

Storms today will cause localized flash flooding from Kansas into Iowa and Minnesota but also a bullseye in Missouri. In these areas a “slight” risk (2/4) is in place for excessive rainfall and flooding, except a moderate risk (3/4) in Missouri.

Flood watches are posted in this area.

As that system exits to the east, the setup over the Central U.S., from about Texas into the Ohio Valley and Southeast is going to favor continuous moisture coming in off the Pacific, Gulf of Mexico, and Caribbean Sea. This will lead to repeated rounds of rain and thunderstorms beginning tomorrow and continuing probably into next week in these areas. Rainfall totals will probably add up to 4 to 8 inches over a broad area in that 7 to 10 day period.

In localized spots, we could see some flash flooding concerns ramp up, including portions of Louisiana and the Houston area in Texas. We could also see some larger rivers begin to flood as well. We’ll be monitoring the rain chances for Houston closely at Space City Weather. But this looks like a major, prolonged and drought-busting rain event across the South and Ohio Valley. We will likely have more to come on this either here or at Space City Weather.

One other additional note: Corpus Christi has been in the news a lot lately because of the potentially devastating water shortage issues in that area. While this will not end those concerns at all, 1 to 4 inches of rain would help a lot in the near-term. Most models show this as a plausible outcome, though the heavier rains will be focused northeast of there. Hopefully with a developing El Niño, the rains will occur more frequently, though flooding concerns may emerge more frequently too.

Heat concerns: Northeast Corridor

Not necessarily out of the ordinary, but an early season heat wave is going to impact parts of the Northeast Corridor, especially between New York City and Richmond, Virginia the next couple days. Yesterday was a taste of things with 89 degrees recorded in New York, Philadelphia, and Washington. Today and tomorrow should be worse. Forecast highs are in the mid-90s for DC and Philly today and tomorrow and perhaps mid-90s into New York and Boston tomorrow.

Tuesday should be the hotter of the two days overall, and the NWS heat risk map above shows pretty high probabilities of “major” risk (level 3/4) over a broad area. Heat should end on Wednesday evening with a cold front slamming through the region.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Coworker is poisoning a new hire with his bad attitude

A guy who works in our IT department, Steve, is just genuinely a negative human being, and pretty overt about it. He complains constantly about anything and everything, and really appears to hate his job despite remaining at the company for over 20 years. All managers are stupid, all decisions about his job/responsibility area are bad … you get the idea. Examples:
* Telling a visibly pregnant coworker that he “didn’t think bringing a child in the world right now was a great idea considering the state of things.”
* Wearing a truly enormous sombrero after complaining it was too bright in the open seating and informing everyone why he was wearing said sombrero.
* If anyone asks how he’s doing as a polite greeting, he informs them that this place is awful and he’s counting down the days until he can leave.
* He not regarded highly by management, but talks a big game about how he’s smarter than everyone, etc. He is no longer allowed to ask questions in department meetings due to his asking of very specific questions about his responsibility areas and perceived injustices.

He now has a college new hire working along side him to learn the area and is turning this new hire into a tiny version of himself. I am not Steve’s manager but have noticed the attitude shift in the college hire.

Would it be terrible to mention to management the attitude shift? Would a polite word to the newbie be out of line? I just feel like the new hire is learning “professional norms” from someone without any awareness of what those actually are and is a recipe for disaster for their career.

Yes, if you have decent managers, this is something you can discreetly mention to them — although really, whoever assigned Steve to train the new hire should have foreseen this!

It also would be a kindness to have a quiet word with the new hire — something along the lines of, “Steve is pretty unhappy here, as he’s probably told you, but the rest of us often don’t see things the way he does. I know you’re still getting acclimated and it can be really helpful to build relationships with multiple people so you get more than one perspective. Please feel free to come to me if you have questions or I can help with anything.”

But better yet, are you up for taking the new hire to coffee or lunch and just building a relationship with them? That itself, without even needing to say anything about Steve, might help them see the work through a non-Steve lens.

Related:
my new employee is getting bad advice from my older employee

2. If my friend announces I’m working with him, I’m worried my company will let me go

I recently reached out to a friend who’s building a new company, asking if I could invest small potatoes money in him. It’s only to a tune of a few hundred dollars a month, just to cover some basic services to keep the product running smoothly. He asked me instead to be his co-founder and CTO. The company is bootstrapped so I can’t afford to leave my day job (yet). I believe in this project and I’ll get to do good in the world.

Meanwhile my day job is capital T toxic, but I need the insurance (solo wage earner for my family) and a paycheck. I can’t leave and my industry is a trashcan fire for hiring right now due to AI. My company already knows I’m doing something similar, and its okay for me to have a second job as long as its doesn’t impact my first job.

The issue is this: the position with the new company is significantly more senior to my regular job. I’m a senior level individual contributor and I don’t see progressing here, nor would I want to given the toxicity. The new company wants to announce me and use it as a marketing tool to get more users. I worry such a visible marketing campaign might give my day job an excuse to just get rid of me (my boss regularly threatens everyone on her team with job loss, among other things). Even though I’ve successfully been doing the same amount of work as I will be doing for a year with their permission and it’s not impacting my work, I fear the increased title will give them an excuse to just oust me preemptively.

Can I block my work from my LinkedIn profile so I can (1) update it, and (2) contain the reach of the marketing campaign? It’s minimally likely that they would see it otherwise, as this will be the primary direction of the marketing campaign. Or will the blocking cause some kind of backlash on its own? The HR and head of my division are looking at my LinkedIn regularly.

There’s no way to reliably block your company from seeing the announcement. You could block specific people from your profile, but if an announcement is going out that mentions you by name, there’s no way to block them from seeing that (or from hearing about it from someone else who sees it). You’ve got to decide if the potential benefit of allowing the announcement outweighs the danger you think it would put you in — but absent some information to the contrary, I would assume it doesn’t warrant the risk (in any situation, but especially one where your friend needs a few hundred dollars a month to cover basic services — which says the company isn’t in a strong place currently).

3. Am I gaining an unfair advantage over my coworkers by occasionally working at the office in-person?

I work remotely for a company in a town about three hours away. Everyone has the option to work remotely, but only about a quarter of people with my position also have the need to work remotely because of distance.

I have family in the same city as the company office. I miss being in an office sometime and about 2-3 times a year I combine a trip to see my family with spending a day in the office. I think my bosses really like this effort and I like to think them seeing me in person and not just on a Zoom screen is helpful for my career generally speaking, although I don’t think there is any favoritism being shown by my bosses.

I always feel guilty though because the other distant remote workers don’t have this family connection to the city so it feels like I am taking an unfair advantage over them. Am I?

No. They are presumably happy with the benefits they get by working remotely. If they felt seeing their bosses in person a few times a year was important to them, they have the option to do that (hell, some companies would even foot the travel bill if they made a business case for it). Your circumstances are different and your preferences are different; that’s not an unfair advantage (although it may be an advantage).

4. Negotiating for paid parental leave when accepting a job

I recently interviewed for a great job at a great organization (in my neighborhood!). Sadly, they’ve gone with another candidate, but I asked them to keep me in mind for future opportunities. They responded very quickly to say that the role immediately below it may soon be available and asked if I’d be interested in it, giving the salary range.

The job I’d interviewed for would’ve been a $20-$30k pay increase for me, but this lower job would be a bit of a cut. However, I’d still be interested due to the proximity to my home, as long as the health care benefits are better than my current org. My only hesitation is that I want to have a child within the next year and it would be hard to take a pay cut if I don’t have paid parental leave.

I saw your advice about negotiating parental leave by saying you want to plan for the long-term, but my state will implement paid family leave within 6-12 months of when I’m hoping to give birth (and I have reasons for not wanting to delay pregnancy further). Is there a way to negotiate paid parental leave 6-12 months in advance of when the organization will be required to provide it?

The good news here is that it sounds like your willingness to take this job would hinge on their willingness to agree to give you paid parental leave … which makes this pretty simple since  you can just ask about it straightforwardly if you get an offer. Plus, you’re asking for something they’re about to be offering everyone as soon as the law goes into effect, so they don’t need to worry as much about setting a precedent as they would otherwise.

If they offer you the job, you could say, “I’d love to accept but there’s a chance I may need paid parental leave in the next year. I know (state) is implementing that in (month) but would you be willing to offer it to me before then? If we could agree to the same X months the law will offer when it goes into effect, just starting sooner, I would be thrilled to accept.” You could also add, “I should say that I’m not pregnant so don’t have clear timing on when or even whether I’d need to use it; I just want to make sure it’s there if I do need it before the law takes effect.”

5. What is a dotted-line report?

What is the purpose of a dotted-line report? What does it typically entail and what are good use-cases for it to exist? I see them sometimes in my org, but I don’t know what they mean.

If you have a dotted-line relationship to someone above you, it means they oversee parts of your work but not your job as a whole. For example, maybe you’re a fundraising assistant who reports to the fundraising manager but you also have a dotted line reporting relationship with the grants manager because you analyze data for her and report to her on grant-related deliverables. The fundraising manager is your manager for all the general manager stuff (overseeing your daily work, monitoring your progress against goals, doing your performance reviews, giving you most feedback, thinking about your professional development, approving time off, etc.), but the grants manager has the ability to assign you work and give you feedback on the work you do for her (and may contribute input to the performance review that your manager writes).

The post coworker is poisoning a new hire with his bad attitude, am I getting an unfair advantage by working on-site, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I have a tough situation. Our new business manager of one year for an office that requires in-office management (due to daily printing requirements) has come to higher management to state their childcare is no longer available. And due to childcare being so expensive, this manager has requested to work fully remote until their young child is at least three years old, which will be in 2028.

Their direct manager offered the solution of working remotely a few days a week and asked if their partner could help on the other days, but that isn’t an option. We also offered another big office rent-free for the manager to hire a certified babysitter, but that wasn’t viable either. The employee says that the only solution is viable will be working remote from home full-time.

The position requires the manager to be in office to manage the team and to be a fill-in when other manager is out of the office. There are other team members with young children who have found childcare, and this office has always been flexible with time off or hybrid work schedules due to family issues. What other solutions am I overlooking?

Saying no, and that’s what you should do.

This employee isn’t just asking to work full-time remote for a job that requires an in-office presence, which is a no-go on its own. They’re also openly telling you that they plan to be taking care of a toddler during that time, which is a full-time job itself. There’s a reason that employers generally require people who work from home to have separate child care if they have young children, and it’s because if you try to do both at once, you won’t do either of them well. (It’s part of why parents of young kids struggled so much in 2020 when so many people had to work from home with no child care; it’s impossible to do both at the same time with any hope of remaining sufficiently attentive to your job.)

It’s also a recipe for trashing the morale of other employees who do pay for childcare (for whom it’s also expensive!) — and doubly so if this employee becomes less responsive when they’re at home, which they almost certainly will.

Explain to the employee that you’re sympathetic to their position but the job does require being on-site and, due to the nature of the work, you can’t be flexible with that. The only real path forward here is for them to figure out if the position still works for them or not. And if they decide they’d rather find new childcare than leave, you could certainly be flexible in the short-term while they’re actively working to get that in place.

The post my employee wants to work from home for a job that requires being on-site appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Romulan Ale for you?

NEW YORK—Urging Americans to think long-term when considering any financial decisions, experts from Wells Fargo recommended Monday that taxpayers earmark a portion of their return from the IRS for funding their dream sandwich. “Rather than spend that money right away, what would happen if you set it aside as an investment in the sandwich of your dreams?” said certified financial planner Rhett Bonham, adding that every dollar saved today could amount to a bigger, better panini, hoagie, or grinder down the line. “If you’re expecting a refund this year, that money could be the first step you take toward a delectable chopped Italian sub for you and your family in the future. Maybe you won’t have enough for a multilayered club, but placing your annual tax return in a compounded savings account could land you a nine-inch eggplant parm on semolina in as few as five to 10 years. Now, you may be tempted to blow it all on a bag of chips as soon as it hits your account, but you don’t want to hit 50 and realize you’ve never tried a roasted mushroom melt with horseradish aioli, do you?” Bonham went on to warn that it would only become more difficult for everyday Americans to procure a sandwich in the future as private equity company Blackstone had already purchased 60% of sammies in the U.S. alone.

The post Financial Experts Recommend Putting Tax Return Toward Dream Sandwich appeared first on The Onion.

Tensions between mainland China and Taiwan remain volatile, with significant geopolitical implications in the region and abroad. The Onion looks back at China’s history with the contested island. 

8,000 B.C.

Taiwan decides it needs a little space and disconnects from the Chinese mainland.

1662

Violent clash over who has to talk to the Dutch.

1887

The Qing dynasty cashes in five resource cards to upgrade Taiwan from a prefecture to a province.

1979

America wades into the conflict, ensuring it’ll last way longer than it needs to.

2003

After Ang Lee’s Hulk  flops, Taiwan and China sign a historic agreement to jointly disavow any connection with the director.

2005

China launches a series of short-range ballistic fruit baskets off the coast of Taiwan in a sign of increasing goodwill.

2011

A sixth grader in Bismarck, North Dakota, mislabels Taiwan on a geography worksheet, leading to a brief diplomatic crisis.

2012

The U.N. officially recognizes Legoland Taiwan, provoking Chinese reprisals.

2026

Trump posts an AI image of himself as a Chinese man holding hands with himself as a Taiwanese man.

2027

Look, just enjoy these last few months of blissful ignorance, okay?

The post Timeline Of China–Taiwan Relations appeared first on The Onion.

Emails revealed that FBI Director Kash Patel went on a “VIP snorkel” excursion around the sunken Pearl Harbor battleship USS Arizona during an official trip to Hawaii last year, with the agency emphasizing that the outing was not meant as a vacation. What do you think?

“It was a business snorkel.”

Wanda Christensen, Meat Baster

---

“When you drop an iPhone full of state secrets off the side of a boat, you really have no other choice.”

Glenn Bales, Bottle Corker

---

“Those who don’t snorkel over history are bound to repeat it.”

Enrico Varner, Whistle Shiner

The post Kash Patel Goes Snorkeling At Pearl Harbor Memorial appeared first on The Onion.

Early in President Trump’s first term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the head-spinning number of misdeeds coming from his administration. We called this list a collection of Trump’s cruelties, collusions, corruptions, and crimes, and it felt urgent to track them, to ensure these horrors—happening almost daily—would not be forgotten. Now that Trump has returned to office, amid civil rights, humanitarian, economic, and constitutional crises, we felt it critical to make an inventory of this new round of horrors. This list will be updated monthly between now and the end of Donald Trump’s second term.

These lists, along with everything McSweeney’s publishes on this site, are offered ad-free and at no charge to our readers. If you are moved to make a donation in any amount or subscribe to our website’s Patreon, please do. This will help support this project and our other work.

ATROCITY KEY

– Authoritarianism
– Constitutional Illegalities, Collusion, and/or Obstruction of Justice
– Environment
– Harassment, Bullying, Retribution, and/or Sexual Misconduct
– Lies and Misinformation
– Musk Madness
– Policy
– Public Statements and Social Media Posts
– Trump Family Business Dealings
– Trump Staff and Administration
– White Supremacy, Racism, Misogyny, Homophobia, Transphobia, and/or Xenophobia

March 2026

Main Index

Trump’s first term

April 2026

1. – April 1, 2026 – Tuan Van Bui, 55, died in ICE custody at the Miami Correctional Facility in Bunker Hill, Indiana. ICE claimed Bui, who entered the country legally in 1990 under the Amerasian Homecoming Act and was challenging his detention through a habeas corpus case, was found unresponsive in his cell. The cause of death was linked to heart disease and high blood pressure.
   
   
2. – April 1, 2026 – Donald Trump, who has frequently threatened and criticized Supreme Court justices, became the first sitting president to attend oral arguments at the Supreme Court. He listened to the government make its case against birthright citizenship, but left when the ACLU presented opposing arguments, defying a longstanding tradition that spectators remain seated and silent. Steven Lubet, an emeritus professor at Northwestern University’s School of Law, characterized Trump’s presence during oral arguments as “an attempt to intimidate the justices” and “a challenge to the Supreme Court’s independence.”
   
   
3. – April 2, 2026 – Luanne James, 57, a library director in Tennessee, was fired from her office after she refused to move LGBTQ+ books from the children’s shelves. Last year, Trump signed an executive order targeting “gender ideology,” and Tennessee has also passed anti-DEI laws. “As a librarian, I knew [the library board’s order to move the books] was wrong, and I had to say something,” James said.
   
   
   “I Had No Choice”: Ousted TN Library Director Addresses Firing over LGBTQ Books Removal (WSMV Nashville).
   
   
4. – April 2, 2026 – The Erie County Medical Examiner’s Office ruled that the death of Nurul Amin Shah Alam, 56, was a homicide. Alam, a refugee from Myanmar with severe visual impairment, was found dead on a Buffalo street in February, five days after Border Patrol agents dropped him off at a closed Tim Hortons. “This tragedy was entirely preventable, and it reflects a serious failure in the systems meant to protect vulnerable people,” said Imran Fazal, a friend of the Alam family.
   
   
5. – April 2, 2026 – Trump fired Attorney General Pam Bondi, frustrated over her handling of the Epstein files and her unwillingness to investigate or prosecute enough of his opponents, even though she had overseen multiple politically motivated investigations against his foes. During Bondi’s tumultuous tenure, the Justice Department surrendered some of its independence, and many of its career officials resigned. Bondi became the second cabinet member, after Kristi Noem, to be fired.
   
   
6. – April 2, 2026 – After Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth claimed the Iran war was being fought “in the name of Jesus Christ,” Pope Leo XIV offered a different take. “We tend to consider ourselves powerful when we dominate, victorious when we destroy our equals, great when we are feared. God has given us an example—not of how to dominate, but of how to liberate; not of how to destroy life, but how to give it,” Pope Leo said in a homily during Mass.
   
   
7. – April 3, 2026 – New figures showed that ICE, despite claims to the contrary, was still arresting many immigrants with no criminal history. After Alex Pretti and Renee Good were killed in Minneapolis, White House border czar Tom Homan said that “all operations will be targeted” and that the agency would prioritize “criminal aliens, public safety threats, and national security threats.” Trump also claimed he wanted a “softer touch.” However, a Washington Post analysis of ICE data obtained through a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit found that people with no criminal record still made up 42 percent of those detained.
   
   
8. – April 5, 2026 – On Easter morning, Trump posted a profanity-laden threat to Iran on Truth Social, demanding that the country reopen the Strait of Hormuz. “Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell,” he wrote, adding, “Praise be to Allah.” Just days earlier, Trump had declared Iran effectively defeated, claiming its navy and air force were “gone,” its missiles were “just about used up,” and its radar systems were “100 percent annihilated.” He had also dismissed concerns about the Strait of Hormuz closing, saying, “When this conflict is over, the strait will open up naturally.” Two days after those remarks, Iran shot down two American military planes. Hours before Trump’s Easter post, Pope Leo XIV had delivered his first Easter address, warning against “the many conflicts raging in different parts of the world” and lamenting “what a great thirst for death, for killing, we witness each day.”
   
   
9. – April 5, 2026 – After Iran shot down an American aircraft and US forces carried out a rescue mission for a stranded airman, Trump threatened to attack Iranian infrastructure, including bridges and power plants. “Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day,” Trump wrote on Truth Social. Experts warned that intentionally targeting civilian infrastructure could constitute a war crime and trigger wider attacks across the region. Iran later threatened retaliation against infrastructure in Gulf states.
   
   
10. – April 6, 2026 – The Supreme Court allowed the Trump administration to move forward with efforts to erase Stephen Bannon’s contempt of Congress conviction stemming from his refusal to comply with a subpoena from the House committee investigating the January 6 attack on the Capitol. Bannon, a longtime Trump ally, served only four months in prison after a jury convicted him in 2022. The Trump administration asked the court to help remove the conviction from Bannon’s record, arguing that dismissing the case was “in the interests of justice.” During Trump’s first term, Bannon was also pardoned after being indicted on charges that he defrauded donors to a group raising money for Trump’s border wall.
    
    
11. – April 6, 2026 – The Trump administration terminated multiple civil rights settlements aimed at protecting transgender students from discrimination in schools, including agreements involving school districts in California, Delaware, Pennsylvania, and Washington. Some of the settlements had required schools to respect students’ preferred names and pronouns or allow transgender students to use bathrooms and locker rooms consistent with their gender identity. Education Department officials said there was no precedent for the federal government revoking civil rights agreements of this kind that had been previously negotiated. The Education Department told one Pennsylvania school district it could face an investigation and potential federal funding cuts if it did not reverse protections for transgender students.
    
    
12. – April 7, 2026 – Annie Ramos, the undocumented wife of an Army staff sergeant, was released from ICE detention. She spent five days in custody following her arrest at Fort Polk, Louisiana, where she and her husband had gone to complete paperwork so they could move in together. Ramos, 22, who was brought to the United States as a toddler and had no criminal record, was detained after authorities cited a deportation order issued when she was twenty-two months old. Her case drew widespread media attention and intervention from Senator Mark Kelly, who said he contacted Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin about the case. Legal experts said military spouses in similar situations were typically allowed to pursue legal status while remaining with their families. While in detention, Ramos was prohibited from wearing her wedding ring.
    
    
13. – April 7, 2026 – President Trump and Vice President JD Vance publicly endorsed Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban just days before a national election that polls had predicted his party could lose. Speaking by phone to a rally in Budapest, Trump declared, “I love Hungary, and I love Viktor,” and praised Orban for preventing migrants from “storm[ing] your country and invad[ing] your country.” At the same event, Vance called Orban “one of the only true statesmen in Europe” and said Hungary under Orban could serve as “a model to the continent.” Five days later, Orban lost in a landslide to opposition leader Péter Magyar, who had criticized Vance’s visit by warning that “no foreign country may interfere in Hungarian elections.”
    
    
14. – April 8, 2026 – EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin headlined a climate-change denial conference in Washington hosted by the Heartland Institute, a group that has spent decades attacking mainstream climate science. Attendees gave Zeldin a standing ovation before he spoke. Speakers at the event falsely claimed that climate change was a hoax, that rising carbon dioxide levels posed little danger, and that fossil fuels were environmentally beneficial. Zeldin told attendees that the Trump administration would not follow “doom-and-gloom prediction[s]” about global warming and boasted that the EPA was “driving a dagger straight into the heart of the climate change religion.” One pamphlet distributed at the conference read: “Fossil Fuels Are the Greenest Energy Sources.”
    
    
15. – April 8, 2026 – Trump lashed out at NATO after members of the alliance refused to participate in the US-Israeli war against Iran or help reopen the Strait of Hormuz. Following a tense White House meeting with NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte, whom some allies have nicknamed the “Trump whisperer” for his attempts to flatter and manage the president, Trump posted: “NATO WASN’T THERE WHEN WE NEEDED THEM, AND THEY WON’T BE THERE IF WE NEED THEM AGAIN.” He added: “REMEMBER GREENLAND, THAT BIG, POORLY RUN, PIECE OF ICE!!!” Rutte later acknowledged that Trump was “clearly disappointed” with many NATO allies and described the meeting as “very frank” and “very open.”
    
    
16. – April 9, 2026 – Trump turned on several prominent conservative media figures who criticized his handling of the war with Iran, including Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Candace Owens, and Alex Jones. In a 482-word Truth Social post, Trump called the commentators “stupid people” with “low IQs” and said they were “LOSERS.” The attacks came after Carlson called Trump’s threats toward Iran “evil” and Jones said the president sounded “like an unhinged super villain from a Marvel comic movie.” Trump also targeted Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, once one of his closest allies in Congress, calling her “Marjorie ‘Traitor’ Brown.” Greene responded that Trump had “gone mad as he wages war against Iran.”
    
    
17. – April 9, 2026 – Trump met privately at the White House with leaders of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s “Make America Healthy Again” movement as administration officials tried to calm frustrations among MAHA supporters ahead of the midterm elections. Some movement leaders, many of whom had abandoned the Democratic Party to support Trump after Kennedy endorsed him, had recently criticized the president for siding with Bayer in litigation over the weedkiller Roundup. The same day, the administration published a new charter for a federal vaccine advisory committee that could allow Kennedy to revive vaccine policy changes that had recently been blocked by a federal judge. The revised charter expanded eligibility for committee membership to include people with experience in “recovery from serious vaccine injuries.”
    
    
18. – April 9, 2026 – Melania Trump delivered a surprise statement from the White House denying any relationship with Jeffrey Epstein or Ghislaine Maxwell and declaring that “the lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today.” She did not specify which reports she was referring to. The remarks stunned even some White House officials and reignited scrutiny of Donald Trump’s longtime association with Epstein, which the administration had spent months trying to contain. Afterward, Trump contradicted earlier White House accounts by saying he had known his wife planned to speak about Epstein and that “she had a right to talk about it.” The speech also renewed public interest in Paolo Zampolli, a former modeling agent who introduced Melania to Trump and later appeared in documents related to Epstein. Zampolli recently sought ICE intervention against the mother of his child during a custody dispute.
    
    
    Melania Trump Makes White House Statement Denying Ties to Jeffrey Epstein (Bloomberg News).
    
    
19. – April 9, 2026 – After Trump administration officials pushed for greater American access to the country’s gold and mineral reserves, Venezuela’s National Assembly approved a new law opening the country’s mining sector to foreign investors. The move came after the Trump administration used criminal charges and extradition threats to pressure Venezuela’s new leadership following the US capture of Nicolás Maduro. Trump had previously declared that the United States was “in charge” of Venezuela and said American oil companies would “take our oil back.” Despite years of US sanctions targeting Venezuela’s mining industry and warnings linking mining operations to human rights abuses and deforestation, the law is expected to expand mining in regions already controlled by armed groups and corrupt military officials.
    
    
20. – April 9, 2026 – Trump shared graphic security footage of a fatal hammer attack in Florida involving a Haitian immigrant and used the killing to attack protections for Haitian migrants. “I don’t recommend you watch this tape, because it is so terrible, but felt I had an obligation to put it up so that people can see what Democrats are protecting,” he wrote on Truth Social. Trump and his aides have increasingly used individual crimes committed by immigrants to argue that immigration drives violent crime, despite studies consistently finding that immigrants commit crimes at lower rates than native-born Americans.
    
    
21. – April 10, 2026 – The Trump administration released plans for a 250-foot triumphal arch near the Lincoln Memorial as part of the president’s effort to reshape Washington and celebrate America’s 250th anniversary. Trump said the proposed monument, which resembles the Arc de Triomphe in Paris and is topped with giant eagles and a golden angel, would be privately funded. Asked last year whom the arch would honor, Trump replied: “Me.” The proposal advanced through a federal arts panel that Trump had recently stacked with allies, including a former White House receptionist.
    
    
    More Details on Trump’s Proposed “Triumphal Arch” (ABC 7 Chicago).
    
    
22. – April 11, 2026 – Alejandro Cabrera Clemente, 49, died in ICE custody at Winn Correctional Center in Winnfield, Louisiana. ICE claimed Clemente, who had lived in the US for more than twenty-five years, was found unresponsive in his cell.
    
    
23. – April 11, 2026 – The US military struck two alleged drug-smuggling boats in the Pacific, killing five and leaving one survivor. Similar strikes killed two people on April 13, four people on April 14, and three people on April 15.
    
    
24. – April 12, 2026 – Aled Damien Carbonell-Betancourt, 27, died in ICE custody at the Federal Detention Center in Miami, Florida. ICE claimed that Carbonell-Betancourt, who immigrated to the US from Cuba in 2024, died of a presumed suicide, but the cause of death was still under investigation. Carbonell-Betancourt was arrested in November 2025 after a police officer observed him wandering around an “abandoned farmer’s market,” warned him against trespassing, and patted him down. When the officer asked Carbonell-Betancourt for ID, he ran. The officer then ran after him, tased him, and took him to a hospital. Carbonell-Betancourt was charged with resisting an officer with violence and transferred into ICE custody in February 2026. The charge was eventually dropped.
    
    
25. – April 12, 2026 – In a lengthy Truth Social post, Trump called Pope Leo XIV “WEAK on Crime, and terrible for Foreign Policy.” Later, while answering a question from a reporter, Trump also criticized the pope for being “very liberal” and accused him, without evidence, of supporting nuclear weapons. Pope Leo has criticized the Iran war and the American abduction of Venezuela’s president. A day after Trump’s social media post, Leo responded that he had “no fear of the Trump administration.”
    
    
    Pope Leo XIV Responds to Trump’s Comments Against Him in Feud over Iran War (AP).
    
    
26. – April 13, 2026 – Trump posted an AI-generated image of himself as Jesus to Truth Social. The image depicted Trump in a white and red robe, touching the forehead of a sick man on his deathbed as light radiates from Trump’s hands. Following criticism, Trump deleted the image. “I thought it was me as a doctor,” he said. “I make people better.” Later, Trump added, “I viewed that as a picture of me being a doctor in fixing—you had the Red Cross right there, you had, you know, medical people surrounding me. And I was like the doctor, you know, as a little fun playing the doctor and making people better.”
    
    
    
    
27. – April 13, 2026 – A day after Trump lashed out against the pope on social media, JD Vance, a Catholic, said the pope should stay out of American affairs. “In some cases, it would be best for the Vatican to stick to matters of morality,” said Vance. “Stick to matters of, you know, what’s going on in the Catholic Church. And let the president of the United States stick to dictating American policy.” A day later, Vance also criticized Leo’s statement. “Was God on the side of the Americans who liberated France from the Nazis? I certainly think the answer was yes,” said Vance. “In the same way that it’s important for the vice president of the United States to be careful when I talk about matters of public policy, I think it’s very, very important for the pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology.”
    
    
28. – April 14, 2026 – Trump received a DoorDash McDonald’s delivery at the White House from “DoorDash Grandma” Sharon Simmons and tipped her one hundred dollars. The White House’s rapid-response X account then quoted Simmons as saying she had saved more than $11,000 in tips by not having to claim them on her taxes, though this would not be possible under the current policy, which labor advocates have heavily criticized. Simmons had previously lobbied for Trump’s “no tax on tips” policy, testifying before Congress in July 2025. DoorDash later admitted the delivery was a stunt.
    
    
    President Trump Receives DoorDash McDonald’s Delivery at the Oval Office (C-SPAN)
    
    
29. – April 14, 2026 – At the direction of DC US Attorney Jeanine Pirro, the Department of Justice moved to vacate the seditious conspiracy convictions of twelve Proud Boys and Oath Keepers who helped plan and lead the January 6, 2021, attacks on the...

"The phrase ‘tax the rich’ can be ‘just as hateful as some disgusting racial slurs,’ according to the New York City billionaire Steve Roth, who said that the top 1 percent should be ‘praised and thanked.’” — The Guardian

First they came for the pieds-à-terre, which they said were driving up the cost of housing.

And I did not speak out.

Because my pied-à-terre was in Greenwich, Connecticut, not Greenwich Village.

Then they came for the capital gains, which they said should be taxed as income.

And I did not speak out.

Because I had all of my company stock in a tax-sheltered backdoor Roth.

Then they came for the bad landlords, who they said were ripping off tenants.

And I did not speak out.

Because I was so wealthy I didn’t even bother renting out any of my investment properties.

Then they came for the 1031 exchanges, which they said were an unfair tax loophole the wealthy use to buy fancier vacation homes.

And I did not speak out.

Because I inherited all of my vacation homes from my father using a totally different tax loophole.

Then they came for the real estate shell corporations, which they said shady billionaires were using to anonymously buy up enormous swaths of properties.

And I did not speak out.

Because, years ago, I had my name legally changed to Equity Holdings LLC.

Then they came for the corporate income tax increase, which they argued companies would happily accept in order to continue operating in arguably the most lucrative city in the world to do business.

And I did not speak out.

Because I just assumed that corporate lobbyists would find a way around this, either at the state or federal level, because that’s the sort of thing corporate lobbyists seem to always be able to do.

Then they came for the mega-mergers, which they argued, at this rate, would eventually turn the S&P 500 into basically the S&P 5 and result in the nation’s entire wealth being split down the middle between Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk.

And I did not speak out.

Because I was good friends with Bezos, this actually seemed like it could work out in my favor, though, admittedly, I began to worry we were definitely reaching some sort of breaking point as a country.

Then they came for the general notion that the ultra-wealthy should be exempt from paying their fair share in taxes on account of them being “job creators,” which they argued was true, but only in the narrow sense that having a small group of mustache-twirling centi-billionaires hoarding all the wealth results in an economy where average people have to work three or more jobs just to survive, so, yes, technically there are more jobs but all of the jobs suck.

And I did not speak out.

Because I was just a deca-billionaire and because I was also getting a little scared that perhaps they were right; perhaps American society was completely falling apart at the seams, and we were quickly spiraling into an authoritarian kleptocracy, even though the offensively simple solution would be for the wealthy to simply agree to an increase in taxes so small they likely wouldn’t feel it in any meaningful way.

Then they came for me.

And there was no one left to speak for me.

Because the rest of the oligarchs had moved to Miami Beach.

Oh. Thank you, movie. Thanks.

New comic!

I'm going to be honest: not every name I've given to every Pokemon has been a thoughtful reflection on our bond as partners.

In brief: After Monday Houston’s weather will turn to a much wetter pattern that is likely to persist for at least a week, if not longer. We are holding off issuing a Stage 1 flood alert for now, but it is something we’re going to be watching closely in the coming days.

Our pattern is a changin’

The atmosphere above Houston will turn unsettled this week in the absence of high pressure, and with a large scale pattern that will send a series of disturbances into the region through the weekend. When you add in a stalled frontal boundary and very high levels of moisture, you get a recipe for rainfall, and potentially lots of it, through the weekend.

Here’s what we know: The overall pattern will support the development of widespread showers beginning later on Tuesday and Tuesday night, and persisting through the coming weekend. Most of the region is likely to pick up between 3 and 5 inches of rainfall, but there are almost certainly will be some bullseyes above 5 inches as rainfall totals stack up. For now we are going to hold off issuing a Stage 1 flood advisory, but that may well be coming in a day or two as rainfall totals begin to stack up later this week.

What about severe weather? A weak front is likely to approach Houston, and possibly push into the area on Tuesday evening or overnight. If this happens it could trigger some stronger thunderstorms, some of which become severe in terms of damaging winds and possibly hail. The timing for this is still uncertain, but potentially it could impact the commute home on Tuesday evening or the later hours.

This wet pattern is likely to persist through the weekend, and possibly into early next week.

Monday

If you’re wondering when it won’t rain this week, today is a good bet. I think we’ll see some isolated showers today, but overall our skies should mostly be cloudy. Even so temperatures are likely to push into the upper 80s, with plenty of humidity, so it will be a warm one. We are going to see those gusty southerly winds again, especially during the afternoon hours. They will die down overnight, with temperatures only falling into the upper 70s (at most) for much of Houston.

Tuesday

Rain chances should again be pretty low during the daytime on Tuesday, perhaps in the vicinity of 20 percent. We also will have a decent chance at seeing a bit of sunshine during the midday hours, probably our best shot at clear skies for the rest of the week. This will help temperatures once again rise into the upper 80s. The uncertainty will come later in the day when a front approaches the area from the west. This will bring a line of storms with it, but at this time it is not clear that the front will push into the city of Houston, or all the way down to the coast. So while there is a chance of widespread showers and thunderstorms during Tuesday evening or Tuesday night in and around Houston, I am not fully committing to it. Lows on Tuesday night should drop into the mid-70s.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday

These will be prime time days for widespread showers and possibly thunderstorms. Daily rain chances, for pretty much the entire area, will be on the order of 80 percent. Skies will be mostly cloudy. Again, for now we’re holding off on flood alerts, but we are going to be closely monitoring rainfall totals and a changing forecast. To be clear, for now we expect things to be mostly fine in terms of driving condition most of the time, but we’re just going to have to see. Highs will be in the low- to mid-80s, with overnight lows in the mid-70s. Mid-may could certainly be hotter, so there’s an upside to the showers.

Saturday, Sunday, and beyond

This general pattern is going to persist into the weekend. If I squint, it’s possible that we could see daily rain chances come down to something like 60 percent. But I don’t have much confidence in that. Highs will remain in the low- to mid-80s with mostly cloudy skies. At this point the pattern does not look to change too much next week. Rain chances may come down a bit. We may have some partly sunny and slightly warmer days. But overall the possibility of rain remains in the forecast. Happily, it appears that Mother Nature is preparing to wipe all vestiges of drought from our area before we get into summer proper.

One of my favourite parts of living where I now live is riding the bus through Headingley, where many Leeds students live, and enjoying the fashion safari. The way lads look now is just priceless. The proliferation of Kentucky mountain mullets, the fashion confusion, it’s beyond brilliant. Paul Mescal has a lot to answer for. I could have given Jack a terrible little moustache but it was just too horrible when I tested it.

What has Blossom Cooper done to her foot? I think this question will be answered. There’s a character you never thought you’d see again.

Prince of Space, like you’ve never seen him before.