Cowboy Who?

In brief: Houston will continue a string of hot days, but the nighttimes should become a bit more pleasant as well. A cool front on Monday will take care of that for us. Rain chances this weekend are mainly at the coast and mainly just scattered, and no real rain is expected next week. We have no tropical concerns in Texas.

There have only been two somewhat similar times that Houston has been through such a persistently lengthy stretch of hot weather so late in the season: 1904 and 2007. The 1904 stretch ended around October 12th, whereas the 2007 stretch ended on October 4th. So when can we get past this faux fall situation? Maybe soon? Maybe. But honestly, looking at the NWS forecast below, this string of upper 80s or hotter during the day may have another week left in it.

The good news in all this is that the nighttimes are running out of punch, and we should see lows in the 60s behind an expected cold front on Monday night or Tuesday. That front will also protect us from any tropical riff-raff in the Gulf of Mexico.

Today and Saturday

We already have a bunch of showers offshore this morning. We may see some of those work their way ashore through the day today. I have to be honest though: Consider yourself lucky if you see any rain.

Tomorrow should play out similarly, though I think the coverage of showers will be just a wee bit higher. Still, for the many fun weekend events we have happening in the Houston area this weekend from the Dash tonight to Southern Smoke to the Komen Race for the Cure, our forecast is that other than perhaps a passing shower or two, conditions look fine. Just stay hydrated, as it will be warm and somewhat humid this weekend.

Sunday

Rain chances will begin to slip slide away on Sunday. Texans tailgating will be a bit muggy but other than maybe a passing shower, it should be fine. We’ll be back into the 90s for highs.

Monday and Tuesday and beyond

We will get one push of drier air late Sunday, followed by another, stronger push of dry air Monday night or Tuesday morning with an actual cold front. This is really going to take a bite out of humidity levels, and it will feel extremely comfortable by the time we get to Tuesday. Even with hot afternoons, it will be a decent stretch of warm days and cooler nights for mid to late next week. But again, no real rain chances.

Tropics

We’ve been covering the tropics extensively over at The Eyewall, and we will continue to do so through the weekend.

There will be a sloppy situation evolving in the Gulf of Mexico over the upcoming week where tropical development is possible to some extent. But because of our push of dry air to start next week, everything will get pushed east of us toward Florida. If you’re planning a trip to Florida, just keep tuned into the forecasts and maybe prepare for rain through Wednesday or Thursday of next week. Then hopefully things quiet down.

ASHEVILLE, NC—Saying he wished there was more he could do to help as he pointed out a clause that showed he didn’t have to, a representative from an insurance company explained to local residents Stan and Loretta Coleman on Thursday that their policy was voided the moment their house got wet. “Unfortunately, the coverage you paid for doesn’t extend to any situation where there is water in, on, or around your home,” said Pat Treacy, a claims adjuster at Countrywide Mutual Insurance who informed the Colemans that their policy had actually been voided the moment they first filled their bathtub or ran water from their sinks. “It’s industry standard, I’m afraid. Houses just aren’t meant to get wet. No insurance company anywhere would take on that kind of liability. If it’s possible to prove the house remained dry during the storm, and it just sort of fell down on its own, then maybe a case could be made for approving your claim.” Treacy went on to wish the Coleman family well and said he would keep an eye out for them on GoFundMe.

The post North Carolina Family Informed Their Insurance Policy Voided Once House Gets Wet appeared first on The Onion.

Organizers from Alaska’s Katmai National Park and Preserve were forced to delay their annual Fat Bear Week competition after a female contestant known as Bear 402 was killed by a fellow brown bear during a fight. What do you think?

The post Fat Bear Week Contest Delayed After Contestant Killed appeared first on The Onion.

SAN DIEGO—Appearing excited by a change of pace around the lab, researchers at the University of California, San Diego, reportedly laughed and cheered Friday as one of their perfectly preserved Neanderthal specimens regained consciousness and ran around shrieking after it was defrosted. “Releasing him from his cryochamber every so often is important to prevent loss of muscle mass, but the main reason we do it is just to watch him flail around and go absolutely nuts in a world he’s unfamiliar with,” said Professor Garret White, head of the cryogenics lab, who ducked as the Neanderthal flung a beaker, a liquid nitrogen tank, and an electron microscope across the room. “If we’re having a rough week, we may let him out two or even three times just to see the look on his face when he wakes up in the 21st century and has this instant existential breakdown. Our anthropological data suggests he was a feared pack leader around 40,000 years ago, so it’s particularly entertaining to see him get frustrated when the lab’s other Neanderthals, who are still frozen, don’t obey his commands to flay us alive.” White added that when it was time to refreeze the angry Neanderthal, researchers simply handed him a tablet computer and let TikTok’s algorithm lull him into total complacency.

The post Scientists Let Defrosted Neanderthal Run Around Shrieking Before Refreezing Him appeared first on The Onion.

Kura Revolving Sushi Bar opens its doors this Saturday (Oct. 5th) on Rockville Pike, taking over half of the former Chuy’s space at Federal Plaza. The dining experience here is both automated and interactive: The dishes spin around on conveyer belts, the drinks are delivered by roving robots, and kitschy prizes are dispensed each time your party consumes 15 plates of sushi. This is the first Maryland location for Kura, opening just a week after the debut of next-door neighbor Torchy’s Tacos.

The post Kura Revolving Sushi makes the rounds appeared first on Store Reporter.

Headlines

• Tropical development in the Gulf remains possible but not entirely likely over the next 5 days or so.
• Regardless, the combination of a couple disturbances and the remnants of Pacific TD 11 will combine to produce significant moisture tracking toward the Florida Peninsula.
• Heavy rain and some flooding are possible there, especially at the coast and south of I-4 next week.
• Hurricane Kirk is nearing category 4 intensity in the open Atlantic, no threat to land.
• Tropical Storm Leslie will slowly organize and may track a bit farther south and west than Kirk but most likely not threaten land.

Gulf development risks slowly backsliding, but heavy rain chances in Florida increasing

We are down to a 30 percent chance of tropical development in the Gulf today, as we continue to watch for disorganized thunderstorms in the area over the next few days. I still think this area will have a chance to develop next week, and many models show development of low pressure into something akin to a depression by early next week.

Today, there’s nothing at all today. We have a cluster of storms south of Cuba and another one in the Bay of Campeche and western Gulf of Mexico. No imminent development is likely from this. Wind shear looks to be a bit much right now, and that may be the biggest limiting factor in any development out of this area. I would say odds of a named storm are quite low from all this, but odds of an invest or depression are moderate still.

What this will do, however, is deliver rain to the Florida Peninsula. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday look quite wet. Atmospheric moisture is going to load up over Florida, with precipitable water values (or how much available moisture there is) up around the 90th percentile for early October, or around 175 percent of normal. Between the two disturbances noted above, the remnants of Tropical Depression 11 in the Pacific will enter the fray as well.

This translates to a lot of moisture available for heavy rainfall. Not everywhere in Florida will get dumped on. But there will be heavy rain around and if you have vacation plans, all I can say is to keep tabs on the forecast early next week and consider some indoor activities. Current rain totals look to be on the order of 4 to 8 inches through next week, with the highest amounts on the immediate coast and south of I-4. North of there through Jacksonville or Gainesville looks to be a bit less impacted.

We’ll keep tabs on this for potential flooding. At this point, we remain fairly unconcerned with any other tropical impacts, other than rip currents which are always a consideration with a disturbance in the Gulf.

Atlantic racking up cyclone intensity

Meanwhile, the open Atlantic is bustling with Hurricane Kirk and Tropical Storm Leslie. Neither storm is a threat to land.

Kirk is about as classic looking as it gets, albeit with a relatively large eye.

Hurricane Kirk should peak in intensity tomorrow before slowly weakening as it goes north and northeast out to sea. Modeling is in decent agreement that this will avoid the Azores on its way out right now.

Leslie is a little sloppier right now, but it too should intensify into a hurricane eventually this weekend. It will trail Kirk a little farther to the south and west. There is a very, very, very slight chance that Leslie could gain enough longitude to perhaps deliver some fringe impacts to the islands at some point, but that’s unlikely and a long way off. We’ll keep an eye on things.

The good news is that once Kirk and Leslie exit and the Gulf system is out of the picture later next week, I don’t quite know what would be next. There are no model signals of any real strong sort that point to the next system to watch. So perhaps we get a little break. Could it be the final break and the season is over? Maybe, maybe not. But with such warm water still out there, a November storm somewhere would be unsurprising this year.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Here are three updates from past letter-writers.

1. Former coworker stole my work and keeps contacting me for help

Thank you so much for publishing an answer to my question! I appreciated your advice, Alison, and the advice shared by the commentariat. It was validating to see that others agreed Lulu is, well, delulu. I do have a small update to share!

I ended up just ignoring Lulu’s emails. I haven’t heard anything else from her. But – a coworker told me they’d contacted Lulu about a system she still had access to. It was an external tool that my coworker needed to take ownership of, which required Lulu to remove herself from the account. She did, but only after being rude AF and unhelpful to my coworker, ignoring them for weeks instead of just performing one simple action.

I did “soft launch” the issue of stolen IP with my boss (the one who coddled Lulu) by asking if Lulu was working for a direct competitor. She is not, but my boss did ask why I wanted to know, so I told them. They did not really react, but that is in line with the “Lulu can do no wrong” behavior I witnessed for many years, so I was not surprised.

In the comments, people were incredulous that meetings would be moved at Lulu’s insistence…believe me, I agree with you! It’s very difficult to explain the chokehold Lulu had on management. It’s the most dysfunctional and frustrating vocational experience I’ve ever had. Imagine someone claiming they need information to do their job, only they are not really doing that part of their job, but when anyone offers to HELP with that part of the job, they throw a tantrum…it was exhausting, but the only person who was ever in the right was Lulu. We all just did what we could to avoid the blow-ups.

Lastly: I don’t work there anymore! I realized that while problem children like Lulu were gone, the systemic issues and gaslighting that allowed her to be a problem for so long were not going away anytime soon. A recruiter contacted me with a great opportunity, and I jumped at it. This all happened right around the time my question was published, so I didn’t get to interact with the comments much. However, I read every single one of them and took all the information as a lesson learned should I ever encounter another delulu Lulu!

2. My employer is revoking work-from-home but I live 300 miles away (#2 at the link)

The question of whether my inability to comply with the new hybrid standards would result in me being officially let go, or if I’d have to resign, never came to a head. HR called me to let me know I was being laid off, but instead of invoking the remote work policy (which I was prepared to challenge), they instead cited the fact that they’d recently (~2 months ago) hired an additional person in my department and the business couldn’t keep both of us.

I can’t help but think this was a very obvious attempt to avoid me pushing back on the new policies that conflicted with the terms of my hiring, as this new person’s job and mine did not overlap at all (e.g. I’m a graphic designer and she is a copywriter).

I will also perhaps uncharitably, but truthfully, say that this person—let’s call her Susan—is very bad at her job. For the first publication she contributed to, Susan submitted an article that was so poorly written that I took it to our shared boss and told her it was unpublishable. While writing/editing was not currently within the scope of my responsibilities at work, the article was so incoherent I felt I couldn’t in good conscience not say something—especially as we were an educational institution and I felt it reflected really badly on us! My boss agreed and re-wrote the article herself. It wasn’t a matter of grammatical errors or anything like that; it was a very clear lack of understanding of how to communicate in the written word.

A month after I was laid off, my boss, true to her word, contracted me to do another publication, and here’s the catch: in addition to doing the design work (my job), she also wanted to hire me to write the copy as well (Susan’s job). I quoted double my freelance rate for the additional work, and they agreed.

So, for those keeping track, here’s where it stands: they laid me off because they allegedly “couldn’t afford” to keep on both me and Susan, and now they’re paying me a much higher rate than they were paying before, to do both my job and Susan’s job, while also still paying Susan. Make it make sense!

3. I have no idea who to give my resignation to (#5 at the link)

Thanks for publishing my letter and confirming that I was definitely overthinking this! (Thanks also to Manic Pixie HR Girl for their comment advice too.)

I gave my resignation to our Chief HR Officer, who managed all of the comms across their C-suite level — including telling my brand new manager. (Fun fact! When I wrote in, I didn’t have a manager, but in the interim they hired someone who actually ended up starting the exact same day I gave my notice.)

I haven’t left yet, but your site continues to offer a wealth of resources as I close out my notice period. Thanks again, Alison!

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2019.

A reader writes:

I work in a small office (about 20 people at this branch of our company) and we have two individual restrooms (as opposed to stalls) in our central hallway. There is certainly a smell situation because the hallway leads to all major sections of the office, but in general, people try to control this with air fresheners, PooPourri products, etc. Sometimes a book of matches is left there, which seems to help the most.

In the last few months, however, a coworker has begun to — from what we can best understand — light clumps of toilet paper on fire, throw the burning toilet paper into the toilet, and flush. Ashes often skitter down the hallway, like smoky tumbleweeds. The whole office begins to smell like a poop barbeque. This has begun happening at least twice a week, often more.

Now, I thought people understood that matches work to mask odor because of the sulfur released, not because of the fire. Clearly, this individual does not realize this. We all know who it is, because he’s one of the few smokers (i.e., carries around a lighter) and also has been seen walking away as the ashes go flying.

I have asked my boss (not this person’s direct boss) to speak to him, but he deflects and says we don’t actually have proof, and nothing wrong has technically happened yet. This person’s actual boss is the least confrontational person in our company, so I know he won’t do anything either. My boss said, “We’d have to email the whole company and ask them to stop lighting toilet paper on fire,” and I said, “That’s fine! It’s dangerous and disgusting! Explain the science of matches to them!” but my boss keeps deflecting.

Do I need to just let this go, or should I continue pushing my boss to do something? I’m seriously worried this person is going to accidentally set our building on fire from the bathroom out.

I am picturing your coworker striding out of the bathroom with smoke and ashes billowing around him as strobe lights flash and Metallica plays.

It is magnificent.

But only because I do not smell the poop barbecue.

I don’t see any reason you can’t just say something to this guy directly the next time you see him emerging from the bathroom in a cloud of ash. Like, it’s totally reasonable that you might comment on that! In some ways, it’s actually weirder not to say anything when you see that.

You could say, “Holy crap, did you light something on fire in there?” or “Whoa, are you okay? What’s with all this smoke and ash?” … followed by, after whatever weird response he gives you, “You’re not actually lighting anything on fire in there, are you? That would be dangerous. The matches aren’t intended to start fires, they’re just supposed to be lit and immediately blown out.”

Your boss’s reluctance to address this in any way is weird. You don’t need “proof” to say to someone, “Hey, are you setting toilet paper on fire in the bathroom? Please don’t do that if so; it’s dangerous.” (And this wouldn’t be based on just a hunch; you have seen the ashes.)

In many offices, if you hadn’t already talked to your boss about this and explicitly been told that he doesn’t want something sent to the staff email list, you could have just sent that message yourself (assuming your office is small enough that it wouldn’t have been bizarre for it to come from you rather than an official facilities spokesperson or so forth). But now that your boss has vetoed it, that’s more complicated.

Really, though, if no one around you is willing to take this on, you can just say something to the guy yourself.

CANTON, MA—Shining a light on the unsettling realities behind the foods we eat, a disturbing video shot by undercover activists and posted on YouTube Thursday reportedly shows workers at a Dunkin’ hatchery disposing of male donuts in an industrial grinder. “When a donut hatches at one of Dunkin’s production facilities, a professional donut sexer quickly separates the males from the females by squeezing out the donut’s filling and checking its out-turned anal vent for rudimentary male sex sprinkles,” said Boston-based pastry welfare advocate Addie Tapper, explaining that because male donuts are too chewy for human consumption, they’re discarded into the whirring blades of a machine that—as the activists’ footage shows—instantly shreds the hatchlings into lifeless, doughy pulp. “Dunkin’ claims the process is painless and humane, but this video clearly shows a cruller missing the chute and dying a slow, agonizing death on the ground. While it’s heartening to watch these activists secretly transport a handful of male donuts to a baked goods sanctuary in rural Vermont, millions more are dying barbaric deaths every day, all to satisfy America’s insatiable demand for pastry.” The video follows a government report last month that found stress among Coolattas living in filthy, cramped conditions causes the frozen beverages to brutally slurp one another to death.

The post Disturbing Video Shows Dunkin’ Hatchery Workers Tossing Male Donuts Into Industrial Grinder appeared first on The Onion.

VALDOSTA, GA—Urging first responders to act quickly after he spotted the placard amongst the wreckage, a heartbroken Donald Trump clutched a limp campaign lawn sign Thursday that had been washed away by Hurricane Helene. “Please, hurry, we don’t have much time,” a visibly panicked Trump said during his visit to a storm-ravaged Georgia town, sobbing after he dropped to his knees, dug through a pile of flood debris, and uncovered a tattered piece of cardboard emblazoned with the words “TRUMP VANCE 2024.” “Stay with me, little buddy. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to fix you up as good as new and put you right back in your family’s front yard where you belong. Then we’ll win this election together. You’ll see!” At press time, sources confirmed Trump had been evacuated by Secret Service and placed under suicide watch after saying he could not allow the sign to die alone and that he would see it in heaven.

The post Heartbroken Trump Clutches Limp Campaign Lawn Sign Washed Away In Flood appeared first on The Onion.

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives.

1. One of our bosses got invited to our rowdy beach weekend

I am good friends with three of my coworkers, let’s call them Billy, Goat, and Gruff. The four of us are distributed across three different teams, but we work together a lot on various projects and also hang out with some regularity outside of work. As such, we are planning a big beach weekend getaway in August. We’ve all invited various friends, booked a giant house for the weekend, and have been making plans for a super fun, rowdy weekend of drunken shenanigans (as beach excursions tend to be).

Billy is also friends with Goat and Gruff’s boss, Gabby. Like us, Gabby is in her 30s, friendly, fun, lively, and would logically be friends with all of us if she weren’t Goat and Gruff’s boss. She has been to dinner and drinks with us, and on one occasion the whole group went back to Billy’s house to drink more beer and eventually play a well-known boundary-pushing party card game. We all had fun, but Goat and Gruff both left early-ish, and didn’t drink much (as you’d expect).

This is where it starts to go sideways. Billy, in a fit of generosity, invited Gabby to the beach weekend. Since then, Gabby has asked me for additional details and if there’s room for her to join. My hostess/planner self is screaming that Gabby really, truly cannot come. That there’s a world of difference between the equivalent of a rowdy happy hour with coworkers and a whole weekend of road-tripping, mostly-naked (swimsuits!) heavy-drinking shenanigans, communal living, and collective reckoning with rampant hangovers and sunburn. Regardless, what was a smooth-sailing fun weekend is now embroiled in office hierarchy drama.

It seems to me like my options here are a) ask Billy to tell Gabby not to come, and run the risk that he’ll blame it on Goat and Gruff for being spoilsports, b) be the bad guy myself and tell Gabby that she can’t come, blaming it on my delicate/old-fashioned sensibilities about mixing work dynamics (possibly damaging our relationship in the process), c) pray that she won’t attend, either because her schedule will prohibit or because her sense of decorum kicks in and she decides to bow out, or d) be a terrible hostess, stew in my own stress, and let things play out as they may. I could use some help figuring out how to approach this.

Gabby can’t come. It’s crossing too many professional boundaries for a manager to attend a “rowdy weekend of drunken shenanigans” with two people who report to her. Presumably, Goat and Gruff are going to have to be on guard if she’s there, and it’s just not the weekend you planned. Ideally you’d do choice A — have Billy tell Gabby he didn’t think it through and since it’s going to be a rowdy weekend, he shouldn’t have invited two of the organizers’ boss. If you don’t trust him to do that without blaming Goat and Gruff (despite your explicit instructions), then you need to move to choice B — deliver that message yourself. Do not just hope she won’t attend or suffer in silence.

But really, Billy messed this up and he should fix it.

Read an update to this letter here.

– 2019

2. My coworker is visibly uncomfortable around my service dog

I recently started bringing my service dog to work with me. I went through all the required processes with my supervisor and HR, and found out that one of my neighboring coworkers (I’ll call her Carol) is very scared of dogs. I said I was willing to move desks, but they said it would not be necessary. However, Carol avoids me and my dog, and even refuses to walk within a few feet of my dog. If we’re walking in a hallway towards each other, I have to duck behind a wall or Carol gets visibly scared. I would like to help her be more comfortable around my dog, but don’t want her to feel pressured or coerced. Do you or your readers have any suggestions?

For context, my dog is about 65 pounds and tall. So she doesn’t exactly blend in. I keep her well groomed to make sure she doesn’t smell or shed excessively. She’s very quiet and doesn’t make any fuss.

I don’t know that it’s your place to try to help Carol be more comfortable around dogs unless she expresses an interest in that on her own (although I certainly understand the impulse to want to!). But you could tell her that you’ve noticed she’s uncomfortable around your dog and ask if there’s anything you could do differently to make her more comfortable, or if there are any questions you can answer about your dog that might help put her more at ease.

You could also mention that you’d offered to move to a different desk but HR didn’t think it was necessary — but that you’d be willing to bring it up again if she’d like you to.

– 2018

Read an update to this letter here.

3. My coworker has panic attacks, and it’s affecting my work

I share an office with my coworker. She has panic attacks. When she has one, I have to leave the office until the attack passes. If I’m there or she isn’t alone, the attack won’t stop. We work with financial information and can only do work with the computer inside our offices. When I have to leave, I can’t do work because my computer is in the office (we all work in offices with doors and there is no way for anyone to ever bring work outside of their offices), and when she is having an attack she can’t do any work. We are always behind on work because she has an attack every two or three days.

Our boss says if we don’t start delivering more work on time, he’ll put us both on a PIP. My coworker asked me not to tell anyone about her attacks. I don’t want to out her but I don’t want to end up on a PIP. There aren’t any empty offices for me to move to and there isn’t room anywhere else because everyone, including my boss, is already sharing. The last thing I want is to out my coworker. No one else here knows about her anxiety or panic attacks and she feels bad about disrupting our work. I don’t want to make it worse. But I also don’t want to keep getting in trouble or ending up on a PIP. I can’t think of any way to get my boss to understand without outing her.

Yeah, you’re going to have to out her. It’s not reasonable for her to insist that you leave your work space like this, and one of you needs to let your boss know what’s going on.

I’d say this to your coworker: “Because this is now affecting my performance and is at the point where I could lose my job over it, I need to talk to Bob about another solution for our office space. To do that, I’ll need to explain to him what’s going on. Would you prefer to talk with him yourself first? I’m planning to talk with him tomorrow, so I wanted to give you a chance to speak with him first about your panic attacks if you’d like to.”

But then you do need to disclose to your manager what’s happening, and quickly (because the longer you let this go on, the more it’s affecting your work and the harder this may be to come back from). This isn’t gossiping about someone’s private health information. This is letting your manager know about a major reason for your slipping work performance. It sounds like your choices are to do that or risk getting fired for low performance, and it’s not reasonable for your coworker to expect you to do the latter.

– 2018

Read an update to this letter here.

4. Interviewer insisted I was uninterested in the job

A friend got me an interview with his company. It was going well until I met the senior manager; towards the end of the interview, he dismissed one of my questions about the work by saying “I don’t think you’re actually interested in this, I think you just want a job.” I didn’t respond very well, as I sat there in stunned silence while he gave me “job-hunting tips.” Should I have argued back with him? I’m in a field where getting in someone’s face is an acceptable negotiating tactic, but it felt out of place at an interview.

There are three possibilities here: (1) You really were coming across as if you weren’t that interested, and this guy was candid in response; (2) he’s just a jerk, or (3) he wanted to test you to see how you’d react (which is jerky if there was no reason for it but potentially not so jerky if the field really does require the ability to stay cool under hostile questioning, and if you don’t yet have a professional track record proving you can do that). You might be able to get a sense from your friend of which category this guy might fall into.

I don’t think you should have “argued back,” but I do think you should have calmly asked, “What makes you say that?” and then responded calmly to whatever he said.

– 2011

In our virtual Library Leaders Forum, you’ll hear from Internet Archive staff about our emerging library services and updates on existing efforts, including from our partners. How do libraries empower research in the 21st century? Join in our discussion!

REGISTER NOW!

Speakers from the Internet Archive include:

• Brewster Kahle, founder & digital librarian, Internet Archive
• Chris Freeland, library services
• Elizabeth Macleod, book digitization
• Liz Rosenberg, donations
• Jude Coelho, interlibrary loan
• Jefferson Bailey, Archive-It
• Mek, Open Library
• Mark Graham, Wayback Machine
• Luca Messarra, Vanishing Culture

Community projects include:

• Andrea Mills, Internet Archive Canada
• Jennie Rose Halperin, Library Futures
• Charlie Barlow, Boston Library Consortium
• Dave Hansen, Authors Alliance
• David Moore, BRIET

Library Leaders Forum 2024 – VIRTUAL
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MONTGOMERY, NJ—Touting faster relief from the symptoms of delirium common to women, Tylenol introduced a new extra-strength fainting couch Thursday for use by feverish consumers. “This fast-acting chaise longue promises instant relief from agonizing hysteria,” said Victoria Holmes, a spokesperson for Tylenol parent company Kenvue, adding that it was already the No. 1 doctor-recommended piece of furniture for patients in the throes of female mania. “Simply drape one hand over your forehead and lie back on the fever-reducing velvet divan for up to six hours of reprieve from the mental turmoil that comes with having no control over one’s emotions. Also suitable for treating aches and pains caused by a too-tight corset or injury from a dizzy spell.” Holmes added that in serious cases of the vapors, it was safe to combine with other remedies, such as having someone shake one’s shoulders while yelling, “Snap out of it!”

The post Tylenol Introduces New Extra-Strength Fainting Couch For Feverish Women appeared first on The Onion.

VATICAN CITY—Saying the effort could bring the Lord’s message to an entirely different scale of life, the Vatican dispatched its first-ever micro-missionaries Wednesday on a trip to convert native bacteria. “The church teaches that God’s glory shines upon all living things, even the heathen E. coli and salmonella bacteria our microscopic pastors will be ministering to,” said Archbishop Francesco Giordano Cacia, who described the painstaking effort that went into outfitting the tiny missionaries with 0.1-micron-wide Bibles and crucifixes far smaller than a grain of sand so that the “benighted microorganisms” might be educated about concepts such as heaven, hell, and the Holy Trinity. “Just because they worship a massive piece of rotting fruit now doesn’t mean these unicellular beings cannot eventually achieve salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. They might lack organelles or an organized nucleus, but we all share in God’s abundant love.” At press time, the Vatican lamented that dozens of spear-wielding bacteria had killed every member of its first micro-mission.

The post Vatican Dispatches Micro-Missionaries On First-Ever Trip To Convert Native Bacteria appeared first on The Onion.

Joaquin Phoenix and Lady Gaga star and sing  in the jukebox musical Joker: Folie à Deux, the sequel to the controversial 2019 Academy Award-winning movie. The Onion sat down with the actors to discuss collaboration, chemistry, and craft.

The Onion: How would you describe your relationship on set?

Gaga: We had this really playful chemistry on set where I would say my lines and then Joaquin would say his but kind of weirdly.

Phoenix: I’ve never seen this woman before in my life.

The Onion: Was it fun to do a musical?

Phoenix: Every film I’ve ever done has been a musical, and every line I’ve ever said has been singing.

Gaga: No.

The Onion: What was your favorite part about making this film?

Phoenix and Gaga, simultaneously: Receiving financial compensation for our labor. 

The Onion: In what ways do the songs drive the plot forward?

Gaga: Fortunately, the writers decided not to include a plot. 

The Onion: Do you have any fun behind-the-scenes stories to share?

Phoenix: That is a private matter between me and the audience of The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon. 

The Onion: Fans were nervous you two might lack onscreen chemistry. How did you generate such an electric dynamic? 

Gaga: I have great natural chemistry with weird-looking white people.

The Onion: What’s next for the Joker?

Phoenix: Who? Oh, the clown guy. I think he’s dead.

The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Joaquin Phoenix And Lady Gaga appeared first on The Onion.

TORONTO – In the midst of a preseason that has lasted approximately 6 months, hockey fans are excited to watch the few players on their team healthy enough to play when the regular season begins. “Oh man, I can’t wait to watch David Reinbacher and Patrick Laine suit up for my Habs,” said Canadiens fan […]

The post NHL fans excited to watch their team’s 5 remaining uninjured players when regular season begins appeared first on The Beaverton.

The Institute For Local Self Reliance (disclosure: I have done writing and research for them) has released an updated interactive map of every community-owned and operated broadband network in the U.S.

All told, there’s now 400 community-owned broadband networks serving more than 700 U.S. towns and cities nationwide, and the pace of growth shows no sign of slowing down.

Some of these networks are directly owned by a municipality. Some are freshly-built cooperatives. Some are extensions of the existing city-owned electrical utility. All of them are an organic, popular, grass-roots community-driven reaction to telecom market failure and expensive, patchy access.

A breakdown of the new mapping data from the folks at ILSR notes that the number of community broadband networks has been increasing at about a rate of fifteen per year, up from the 8 per year cadence the organization saw between 2001 and 2008. The number of communities served by larger, popular community networks (like Chattanooga’s EPB and Utah’s UTOPIA) continue to grow.

Data routinely notes that community-owned broadband networks provide faster, cheaper, better service than their larger private-sector counterparts. Staffed by locals, they’re also more directly accountable and responsive to the needs of locals. They’re also just hugely popular across the partisan spectrum; routinely winning awards for service.

Many such deployments (like UTOPIA) involve building open access fiber infrastructure that numerous competitors (private, public, or otherwise) come in and compete over. In many of these areas, locals have the option of more than a dozen different ISPs to choose from, all providing broadband at a lower rate than what you’re used to from Comcast, AT&T, Verizon, or Charter.

That’s not to suggest community-owned broadband networks are some mystical panacea; they require smart leadership, strategic planning, and intelligent financing. But if done well, they not only drive significant fiber improvements directly to local markets, they incentivize lumbering regional private sector monopolies — long pampered by federal government corruption and muted competition — to actually try.

Widespread frustration with substandard U.S. broadband drove a big boost in such networks during COVID lockdowns. Since January 1, 2021, more than 47 new networks have come online, with dozens in the planning or pre-construction phases. Many are seeing a big financial boost thanks to 2021 COVID relief (ARPA) and infrastructure bill (IIJA) legislation funding (the latter of which hasn’t even arrived yet).

In response to this popular grass roots movement, giant ISPs have worked tirelessly to outlaw such efforts, regardless of voter intent. 16 states still have protectionist state laws, usually ghost written by giant telecom monopolies, prohibiting the construction or expansion of community broadband. House Republicans went so far as to try and ban all community broadband during a pandemic.

Lumbering regional monopolies like Comcast, AT&T, and Charter could have responded to this movement by lowering prices and improving service. Instead in many cases they found it cheaper to lobby politicians, sue fledgling networks, or create fake “consumer groups” tasked with spreading lies about the perils of community-owned broadband networks among local communities.

But based on the growth rate of such networks, these efforts have backfired, and locally-owned and operated broadband networks appear to be more popular than ever.

The next year is crucial for the future of NASA and its plans to extend human activity in low-Earth orbit. For the first time in decades, the US space agency faces the not-too-distant prospect of failing to have at least one crew member spinning around the planet.

Over the next several months, NASA will finalize a strategy for its operations in low-Earth orbit after 2030. Then, toward the end of next year, the space agency will award contracts to one or more private companies to develop small space stations for which NASA and other space agencies will become customers rather than operators.

But none of this is certain, and as NASA faces a transition from its long-established operations on the International Space Station to something new, there are many questions. Foremost among these is whether NASA really needs to continue having a presence on low-Earth orbit at all, especially as the space agency's focus turns toward the Moon with its Artemis Program.

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Owners of the popular home EV chargers made by Juicebox are about to lose a whole lot of features. Its owner, the energy company Enel X, has just announced that it is leaving the North American market entirely as of October 11.

Enel X says its strategy will be to pursue "further growth by providing bundled offers, including private charging solutions, to its electricity customers as well as by developing public charging infrastructure in countries where it has an electricity retail business." And since it does not have an electricity business in the US, merely a charging hardware and software one, it makes little sense to remain active here.

The company also blames high interest rates and a cooling EV market as reasons for its exit.

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In brief: The overall forecast remains the same. We’ll see hot and sunny weather for a couple of more days. Saturday still should bring a decent shot of rain into the region, especially for areas closer to the coast. Then we’re back to sunny and warm until some sort of front arrives early next week, perhaps on Tuesday. A little fall weather would certainly not be unwelcome.

Wednesday and Thursday

Clear skies and warm temperatures will continue for the next couple of days across the metro area. We’ll see nearly 100 percent sunny skies, with no chance of rain, through Thursday evening. High temperatures, for the most part, will be in the low 90s. Overnight lows will drop into the lower 70s for most locations not immediately along the coast. With dewpoints remaining in the 60s, the air will feel marginally drier than typical summertime conditions in Houston. Winds remain light, generally from the east at 5 to 10 mph.

Friday

We’ll start to see a few clouds by Friday as the upper-air pattern becomes more unsettled. However, skies will still be at least partly sunny, and rain chances are only likely on the order of 20 to 30 percent. For areas inland of Interstate 10, they’re even lower. High temperatures will reach about 90 degrees for most locations, or perhaps a touch warmer.

Saturday and Sunday

We should see more cloud cover for the first half of the weekend, as well as our best rain chances for the forecast period. Locations along and south of Interstate 10—closest to the source of moisture—will probably have about a 50 percent chance of showers during the daytime, with lesser chances further inland. I do not expect a deluge, but rather a series of scattered showers pushing through. Accumulations for most locations will likely be on the order of a few tenths of an inch of rain. Highs, due primarily to the clouds, should be in the upper 80s.

By Sunday we’ll be transitioning back to a more sunny pattern. However, I still expect to see at least some partly cloudy skies, with perhaps a 20 to 30 percent chance of rainfall. High temperatures will get back into the lower 90s.

Next week

Monday should bring more clear skies and high temperatures in the low 90s. However, at some point on Monday night or Tuesday, we should see the arrival of a front, with some drier and cooler air following it into the region. There’s still quite a bit uncertainty as to how much drier air will arrive, given that our region will be receiving a glancing blow from the front rather than a full on push out of the north. Nevertheless, I expect highs to at least drop into the 80s, with lows in the 60s. It’s possible we’ll get a bit cooler than this, but determining that six days out just isn’t possible with this kind of front.

Tropics

Although some sort of tropical system may develop in the central or southern Gulf of Mexico over the next week, it is not likely to have a significant effect on our weather in Texas.

NEW YORK—Cursing under his breath at yet another round of inapt debate answers from the vice presidential candidate, venture capitalist Peter Thiel reportedly rushed onstage Tuesday to restart a glitching J.D. Vance during a commercial break. “Seriously? For what I paid for this thing, it should work flawlessly,” said the billionaire investor, striding confidently past moderator Norah O’Donnell to insert a paperclip into Vance’s ear and initiate a hard reset that might stop the short-circuiting candidate from repeating the phrase “girls of menstruating age” in response to a question on inflation. “Shit, I probably just need to wipe its memory banks clean. I’ll have to re-upload all the anti-pornography tirades, but it’s better than spending the evening on edge worried about another malfunction. Probably some kind of Russian malware got installed, honestly.” At press time, Thiel was seen rapidly paging through Vance’s instruction manual as the politician sparked up and said the word “inseminate” in an increasingly high-pitched voice.

The post Peter Thiel Rushes To Restart Glitching J.D. Vance During Commercial Break appeared first on The Onion.

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA—Following the conclusion of her 18-month hiatus from music, pop star Sabrina Carpenter confirmed Wednesday that she had completed her mandatory South Korean military service. “It was the honor of a lifetime to do my patriotic duty by serving in the Republic of Korea’s armed forces, but I’m looking forward to my next chapter,” said Carpenter, who emphasized that she had learned a lot about herself during her time completing basic training, learning to operate field artillery, and serving as a guard in the demilitarized zone. “I’m so grateful to my fans for their patience and for keeping me in their thoughts. New music and even a tour is coming soon. Plus, my hair has finally grown out from that buzz cut, and it looks great. Stay tuned!” At press time, pop fans were reportedly crossing their fingers that Chappell Roan and Tate McRae would be discharged next.

The post Sabrina Carpenter Completes Mandatory Service In South Korean Military appeared first on The Onion.

RICHARDSON, TX—In an effort to help his students one day navigate the harsh realities of an adult relationship, local sex ed teacher Robert Emerson reportedly spent class Wednesday teaching male students how to cheat on their pregnant wives. “Over the 9 months a woman carries a child, her body will change a lot, making it all the more necessary for you to have a hot young slam piece to bang on the side,” Emerson said before telling the room full of seventh-grade boys that it was perfectly natural for a man whose wife is pregnant to want to send flirty messages to beautiful women on social media, give his number to a hot young waitress, or hit on his wife’s attractive younger sister. “At 3 months, you’ll want to keep things casual and mostly send sexually explicit photos to your ‘lady friend.’ Then, by 6 months, you’ll likely have escalated to meeting up on weeknights at a local motel. By 9 months, your wife will definitely be suspicious and demand to see your phone, but that’s when you gaslight her and tell her she’s crazy.” According to sources, Emerson later distributed sacks of flour to all his students to simulate what it’s like to be a father turning his young child against their mother after a divorce.

The post Texas Sex Ed Class Teaches Boys How To Cheat On Pregnant Wife appeared first on The Onion.

Throughout its venerable 268-year reign, The Onion has always made it a top priority to endorse the correct presidential candidates. From George Washington to Richard Nixon to Donald Trump, this institution’s highly respected editorial board has had its finger on the pulse, and has accurately backed the winner of every single national election in this country’s long and storied history. 

Now, with our nation at a pivotal crossroads, The Onion‘s editorial board faces its most difficult decision yet. That’s why we have chosen to officially endorse Joseph R. Biden for president of the United States.

To our loyal, handsome, and stunningly brilliant readers, please know that The Onion‘s latest foray into the 2024 election does not come lightly. In these unprecedented times of misinformation and political violence, everyone from left-wing activists to Silicon Valley megadonors attempted to dissuade us from endorsing Joe Biden at this moment in time.

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions. It is with great pride that this institution officially throws its full and unequivocal support behind Joe Biden, despite many across the political spectrum, including the entire Democratic Party, saying “it’s too late” and we are “doing more harm than good.”

For months, our editorial board has agonized over this momentous decision. Initially, we’d hoped to publish our endorsement on June 27, 2024, in the hours after Joe Biden’s first televised debate against Donald Trump. Then, we’d hoped to publish it a few days later, following Biden’s highly anticipated July 5 interview with George Stephanopoulos. 

Now, on Oct. 2, 2024, we are finally doing what we should have done months ago: Buck tradition, put our reputation on the line, and take a position that The New York Times, The Washington Post, and other so-called “papers of record” are too cowardly to even consider this late in the election.

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in.  

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards, but he’s packed a lot into 81 short years. He’s fought hard for working Americans, be they on the factory line or on the board of Blackstone Group. He’s stood up to everyone who threatened this great nation, from Vladimir Putin to Anita Hill. And he supports women and minorities, based on that seemingly random lady he chose to be his vice president. 

And so The Onion humbly requests that on Nov. 5 you remember our editorial board’s courageous, measured, and well-reasoned endorsement of Joseph R. Biden. But if, for some incomprehensible reason, this fails to resonate with the American public, we will be proud to endorse Asa Hutchinson as a backup.

Tu Stultus Es,

The Onion Editorial Board

The post ‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President appeared first on The Onion.

2024 Vice Presidential Debate
New York, NY
October 1st, 2024

9:00 PM: Opening what seems likely to be the last debate of this election, CBS News anchors Norah O’Donnell and Margaret Brennan welcome candidates Ohio Senator JD Vance and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz and review the rules the campaigns agreed to. Brennan reminds the candidates that they will be fact-checking each other as the press must fill the vital civic role of solemnly nodding.

9:01 PM: For the opening question in the United States vice presidential debate where the candidates, moderators, and primary audience are Americans, Brennan addresses Walz, asking if he would support a preemptive strike by Israel on Iran. Walz responds by coughing in an “aw shucks” sort of way, stating that everyone who has known and advised Donald Trump has said he’s unfit and only steady, trusted leaders should be able to enable and encourage murder. Brennan poses the same question to Senator Vance, who licks his lips and reminds everyone that he wrote a book about what a regular guy he is.

9:25 PM: On immigration, Brennan asks the candidates about their plans for the border. Vance avoids her question about whether or not the Trump administration will pursue family separation. “First of all, this already happens,” he says, “and I can actually speak without breathing for sixty seconds without any problem. I used to do this in my Ivy League classes, and if you simply never hesitate or pause and keep a steady cadence, people think what you’re saying is smart, as long as you’re a man and you’re white, and this is what will happen when Donald Trump is president again.” Walz responds, “This is what happens when you don’t want to solve the problem. You demonize it. I was surprised by Vance on this, admitting how he’ll create stories just to villainize people. I believe Senator Vance wants to solve this, but he’s making choices. Do you think they’re good choices, JD? Let’s talk through what some good choices you could make. Do you have any ideas of what some good choices would be?” Vance scowls for one moment before staring directly at the camera, the way a possessed snake would stare, searching for something dark. Possibly Peter Thiel’s teat. Jarringly, Vance’s odd snake face speaks, “First of all, Governor Walz brought up Springfield, and the problem there is that there are illegal aliens terrorizing people.” Brennan thanks them both and adds that Haitian immigrants in Springfield have legal status, at which Vance’s tiny pinpoint eyes bug out of his head as he demands, “MOMMMM!!! THEY SAID THEY WEREN’T GONNA FACT CHECK! NOW I GET TO DO DOUBLE LIES!” O’Donnell calmly responds that there are many topics and they need to move on, to which Vance yells, “NO FAIR, NO FAIR, NO FAIR!” and then holds his breath while banging a copy of Atlas Shrugged on his lectern. Brennan nods, “Okay, in honor of every woman you’ve ever tried to date, we’ve gone ahead and muted your mic. Let’s move on.”

9:31 PM: O’Donnell asks Walz about his and Harris’s economic plan. He looks directly into the camera, “Hey, kiddo, I know you’re hearing a bunch of back and forth, and that’s good, it’s healthy. We’re not fighting. I know there have been some loud voices, and that happens sometimes when people get excited, but it’s okay. I just wanted you to know that. Now, Kamala and I care about the middle class very much.” Vance responds, “First of all, if Kamala Harris loved the middle class so much, why hasn’t she married it? She’s been the vice president for three and a half years, and it’s my understanding that the vice president is the person who is in charge of everything and controls all policy. In that regard, Harris is a failure. Look, economists have PhDs, but they don’t have common sense. Donald Trump has common sense and a solid record of raising pay for America’s monocle class, and that’s what we’re going to get back to.”

9:38 PM: Moving away from policy, Brennan says, “The purpose of the vice president is to serve as the governmental side-kick, a little guy with some flair. So let’s talk about your personalities and what’s wrong with them. Governor Walz, you have previously said that you were in China in May of 1989 but reports show you weren’t there until August of 1989, please explain how someone who is seeking the second highest office of this land can be taken seriously if he lies about months from three decades ago?” Walz responds, “I’m a bit of a knucklehead.” There is silence for approximately five seconds before Walz continues, “Oh boy, okay, we can’t just say nothing here. What do you guys want to talk about?” Brennan then turns to Vance, “In a similar vein, you previously called your running mate ‘America’s Hitler.’” Vance chuckles condescendingly, “Yes, but I meant it as a compliment.”

9:44 PM: On reproductive rights, Brennan addresses Walz, saying that as Governor, he signed a bill making Minnesota one of the least restrictive states. Walz replies, “We trust women, we trust doctors.” Vance counters, “Oh, really? You heard what he just said? He trusts doctors. Doctors like DOCTOR Hannibal Lecter? Doctors like DOCTOR Doom? This is exactly what Democrats do; they will tell you to trust these experts, but these experts are trying to take over the world and also are eating people, and the problem here is migrants. I knew a woman, an old friend, who was in an abusive relationship, and she had an abortion. She doesn’t trust Republicans, and what we have to do better as a party is more effectively lie to these women to gain their trust. Jodie Foster shouldn’t have had a job. She should have been a mom. If the lambs are screaming, it should be from the nursery.”

9:52 PM: As the country reels from yet another string of school shootings, the candidates are asked about how they’d approach this ongoing tragedy. Vance goes first. “First of all, as a parent, we send our kids to school and look at their adorable faces and know that we’re creating a terror-filled experience for them. But it’s for an important reason, because what matters most in this country is the gun lobby. I sit my second grader down and say, ‘You know how you like shooty video games? Where do you think they get their ideas from?’ But we have to do something, and I hate to say it, because it’s extreme, but I think we’re going to need to make heavier doors at the schools. Of course, we’re also going to need more guns. We can paint them to look like Pokémon guns or whatever.” Walz replies, “I believe 100 percent that Senator Vance finds this abhorrent. It’s not his fault his face looks like that all the time. But we need to do more. I spent time in Finland, and they own guns, but they don’t have these things happen.” Vance perks up like a billionaire who just started pumping a new bag of teenage blood, “First of all, Finland?! I’m so glad you mentioned Finland. I think what Finland has is important, and it has to do with the type of people. I mean, it’s cold, snowy even, some might say white, definitely one of the top fourteen or eighty-eight countries!”

10:21 PM: On democracy, O’Donnell calls out Vance for saying he would not have certified the 2020 election results. Vance responds that we should be talking about the present, and the real threat to democracy is how some people don’t want to be friends with Republicans. Walz responds, “This is very troubling,” and echoes the moderators asking Vance, “Did Donald Trump lose the 2020 election?” Vance again replies, “First of all, I’m focused on the future.” Walz shakes his head, “That’s a damning non-answer.” Vance pulls out his phone, “Look at how many people on Facebook haven’t accepted my friend requests. This is the real threat to democracy, and Democrats don’t want to talk about it.”

CLOSING STATEMENTS

WALZ: Thank you to CBS, Senator Vance, and to all of you missing Dancing with the Stars for this. I’m as surprised as anybody about this coalition we’re forming, from Bernie Sanders to Dick Cheney to Taylor Swift, who is, of course, on the far right of our coalition. But it’s a big casserole, and we’ve got room for every kind of potato, so I don’t want to tell you what to do, but gosh, I’d sure appreciate it if you’d give our ballot line a look-see in November.

VANCE: First of all, we didn’t talk about energy, but I can tell you what the problem is. Migrants. In fact, migrants are pretty much the only major problem we face. But if we kick them out, we can solve housing. We can solve health care. Most importantly, we can solve people who are mean and laughing at me in Spanish. I praise you in Jesus’s name. You’re all now baptized, and God compels you to let me have the most important role in the land: vice president to a narcissist. Amen.

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Hovertext:
I have never once had a popular platonism joke but I WILL NOT STOP

Today's News:

by Sharon Lerner and Andy Kroll

ProPublica is a nonprofit newsroom that investigates abuses of power. Sign up to receive our biggest stories as soon as they’re published.

Three investigators for the Heritage Foundation have deluged federal agencies with thousands of Freedom of Information Act requests over the past year, requesting a wide range of information on government employees, including communications that could be seen as a political liability by conservatives. Among the documents they’ve sought are lists of agency personnel and messages sent by individual government workers that mention, among other things, “climate equity,” “voting” or “SOGIE,” an acronym for sexual orientation, gender identity and expression.

The Heritage team filed these requests even as the think tank’s Project 2025 was promoting a controversial plan to remove job protections for tens of thousands of career civil servants so they could be identified and fired if Donald Trump wins the presidential election.

All three men who filed the requests — Mike Howell, Colin Aamot and Roman Jankowski — did so on behalf of the Heritage Foundation’s Oversight Project, an arm of the conservative group that uses FOIA, lawsuits and undercover videos to investigate government activities. In recent months, the group has used information gleaned from the requests to call attention to efforts by the Defense Counterintelligence and Security Agency to teach staff about gender diversity, which Fox News characterized as the “Biden administration’s ‘woke’ policies within the Department of Defense.” Heritage also used material gathered from a FOIA search to claim that a listening session the Justice Department held with voting rights activists constituted an attempt to “rig” the presidential election because no Republicans were present.

An analysis of more than 2,000 public-records requests submitted by Aamot, Howell and Jankowski to more than two dozen federal offices and agencies, including the State Department, the Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Trade Commission, shows an intense focus on hot-button phrases used by individual government workers.

Those 2,000 requests are just the tip of the iceberg, Howell told ProPublica in an interview. Howell, the executive director of the Oversight Project, estimated that his group had submitted more than 50,000 information requests over the past two years. He described the project as “the most prestigious international investigative operation in the world.”

Among 744 requests that Aamot, Jankowski and Howell submitted to the Department of the Interior over the past year are 161 that seek civil servants’ emails and texts as well as Slack and Microsoft Teams messages that contained terms including “climate change”; “DEI,” or diversity, equity and inclusion; and “GOTV,” an acronym for get out the vote. Many of these FOIAs request the messages of individual employees by name.

Trump has made clear his intentions to overhaul the Department of the Interior, which protects the nation’s natural resources, including hundreds of millions of acres of land. Under President Joe Biden, the department has made tackling climate change a priority.

Hundreds of the requests asked for government employees’ communications with civil rights and voting rights groups, including the ACLU; the Native American Rights Fund; Rock the Vote; and Fair Count, an organization founded by Democratic politician and voting rights advocate Stacey Abrams. Still other FOIAs sought communications that mention “Trump” and “Reduction in Force,” a term that refers to layoffs.

Several requests, including some sent to the Department of Defense, the Department of Homeland Security and the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, focus on personnel. Some ask for “all employees who entered into a position at the agency as a Political Appointee since January 20, 2021,” the first day of the Biden administration. Others target career employees. Still other FOIAs seek agencies’ “hierarchy charts.”

“It does ring some alarm bells as to whether this is part of an effort to either intimidate government employees or, ultimately, to fire them and replace them with people who are going to be loyal to a leader that they may prefer,” Noah Bookbinder, president and CEO of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, or CREW, said of the FOIAs.

Asked whether the project gathered the records to facilitate the firing of government workers, Howell said, “Our work is meant to just figure out who the decision-makers are.” He added that his group isn’t focused on simply identifying particular career employees. “It’s more about what the bureaucrats are doing, not who the bureaucrats are,” he said.

Howell said he was speaking on behalf of himself and the Oversight Project. Aamot requested questions in writing, but did not respond further. Jankowski did not reply to a request for comment.

Bookbinder also pointed out that inundating agencies with requests can interfere with the government’s ability to function. “It’s OK to make FOIA requests,” said Bookbinder, who acknowledged that CREW has also submitted its share of requests. “But if you purposely overwhelm the system, you can both cause slower response to FOIAs … and you can gum up other government functions.”

Indeed, a government worker who processes FOIAs for a federal agency told ProPublica that the volume of requests from Heritage interfered with their ability to do their job. “Sometimes they come in at a rate of one a second,” said the worker, who asked to remain anonymous because they were not authorized to speak to the press. The worker said they now spend a third of their work time processing requests from Heritage, including some that seek communications that mention the terms “Biden” and “mental” or “Alzheimer’s” or “dementia” or “defecate” or “poop.”

“They’re taking time away from FOIA requesters that have legitimate requests,” said the worker. “We have to search people’s accounts for poop. This isn’t a thing. I can’t imagine a real reporter putting in a request like that.”

Asked about the comment, Howell said: “I’m paying them, so they should do their damn job and turn over the documents. Their job is not to decide what they think is worth, you know, releasing or not.” He added that “we’re better journalists by any standard than The New York Times.”

Project 2025, which is led by Heritage, became politically toxic — with Trump disavowing the endeavor and Kamala Harris seeking to tie her opponent to the plan — in part for proposing to identify and fire as many as 50,000 career government employees who are deemed “nonperforming” by a future Trump administration. Trump attempted to do this at the end of his first term, issuing an executive order known as “Schedule F” that would have allowed his administration to reclassify thousands of civil servants, making them easier to fire and replace. Biden then repealed it.

Project 2025’s 887-page policy blueprint proposes that the next conservative president reissue that “Schedule F” executive order. That would mean a future Trump administration would have the ability to replace tens of thousands of career government employees with new staffers of their choosing.

To fill those vacancies, as ProPublica has reported, Project 2025 has also recruited, vetted and trained future government employees for a Republican administration. In one training video obtained by ProPublica, a former Trump White House official named Dan Huff says that future government staffers should prepare to enact drastic policy changes if they join the administration.

“If you’re not on board with helping implement a dramatic course correction because you’re afraid it’ll damage your future employment prospects, it’ll harm you socially — look, I get it,” Huff says. “That’s a real danger. It’s a real thing. But please: Do us all a favor and sit this one out.”

Howell, the head of the Oversight Project and one of the FOIA filers, is a featured speaker in one of Project 2025’s training videos, in which he and two other veteran government investigators discuss different forms of government oversight, such as FOIA requests, inspector general investigations and congressional probes. Another speaker in the video, Tom Jones of the American Accountability Foundation, offers advice to prospective government employees in a conservative administration about how to avoid having sensitive or embarrassing emails obtained under the FOIA law — the very strategy that the Oversight Project is now using with the Biden administration.

“If you need to resolve something, if you can do it, it’s probably better to walk down the hall, buttonhole a guy and say, ‘Hey, what are we going to do here?’ Talk through the decision,” Jones says.

“You’re probably better off,” Jones says, “going down to the canteen, getting a cup of coffee, talking it through and making the decision, as opposed to sending him an email and creating a thread that Accountable.US or one of those other groups is going to come back and seek.”

The records requests are far reaching, seeking “full calendar exports” for hundreds of government employees. One FOIA submitted by Aamot sought the complete browser history for Interior Secretary Deb Haaland, “whether exported from Chrome, Safari, Windows Explorer, Mozilla.” The most frequent of the three requesters, Aamot, whose online bio describes him as a former psychological operations planner with the Army’s Special Operations Command, submitted some FOIAs on behalf of the Heritage Foundation and others for the Daily Signal. The publication spun off from the Heritage Foundation in June, according to an announcement on the think tank’s website, but another page on the site still seeks donations for both the foundation and the Daily Signal.

ProPublica obtained the Department of Interior requests as well as tallies of FOIAs from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Environmental Protection Agency and the Health Resources and Services Administration through its own public records requests.

Several of the Heritage Foundation’s requests focus on gender, asking for materials federal agencies presented to employees or contractors “mentioning ‘DEI’, ‘Transgender’, ‘Equity’, or ‘Pronouns.’” Aamot sent similar requests to the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the Office of Management and Budget, Americorps and the Chemical Safety Board, among other agencies. Howell said he believes that the group has uncovered evidence that “unpopular and just frankly sexually creepy and sexually disordered ideas are now being translated into government jargon, speak, policies, procedures and guidance documents.”

Heritage’s FOIA blitz has even sought information about what government employees are saying about Heritage and its employees, including the three men filing the thousands of FOIAs. One request sent to the Interior Department asks for any documents to and from the agency’s chief FOIA officer that mention Heritage’s president, Kevin Roberts, as well as the names of Aamot, Howell and Jankowski.

Irena Hwang contributed data analysis. Kirsten Berg contributed research.

Taylor Swift is in the news, and not just because she has become the most decorated solo artist of all time. The fact that Taylor Swift has already been mentioned multiple times on Walled Culture underlines that she is also an important – if surprising – figure in the world of copyright. That’s because Swift has been re-recording her albums in order to gain full control over them. She lost control because of the way that copyright works in the music industry, where it is split between the written song and its performance (the “master recording”). Record label contracts typically contain a clause in which the artist grants the label an exclusive and total license to the master. By re-recording her albums, Swift can add control of the master to her control of the written songs.

Swift’s long battle is well-known in the industry. But an article on the Harvard Law Today site from a few months back adds an important detail to this story that I have not seen reported anywhere else. It draws on comments made by Gary R. Greenstein, a “technology transactions partner” at Wilson Sonsini, one of the top US law firms. It concerns a common legal requirement in contracts to wait a certain number of years before artists are allowed to re-record an album:

It’s significant, Greenstein said, that the first Taylor’s Version wasn’t released until she’d been off [record label] Big Machine for three years. Until then, she was legally bound not to re-record any of the material, and this time frame was typical of record deals in the past. But this is the part of the equation that Swift likely changed for good.

According to Greenstein, the major record labels used to be fairly reasonable in terms of the length of the prohibition they imposed on on re-recording. But he says that’s no longer the case as a result of Swift’s successful project to regain full control of her own works:

record companies are now trying to prohibit re-recordings for 20 or 30 years, not just two or three. And this has become a key part of contract negotiations. “Will they get 30 years? Probably not, if the lawyer is competent. But they want to make sure that the artist’s vocal cords are not in good shape by the time they get around to re-recording.”

In other words, as soon as a creator finds a way to take back control from intermediaries that have routinely derived excessive profits from the labor of others, the copyright world fights back with new legal straitjackets to stop other artists daring to do the same. That’s yet another reason for creators to retain full control of their works, and to shun traditional intermediaries that try to impose one-sided and unfair contracts.

Follow me @glynmoody on Mastodon and on Bluesky. Originally published to Walled Culture.