Here’s what’s a-happening: Tyler Perry’s The Passionmay have brought Christian rock to live TV, but NBC’s stepping it up with a live production of the 1971 rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar. The show’s creators Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, alongside former NBC live-musical producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, will executive produce the live production, which will air on Easter Sunday, a.k.a. April 1, 2018. Jesus Christ Superstar Live! follows in the footsteps of NBC’s previous live takes on The Sound of Music,Peter Pan, The Wiz, and Hairspray. If Easter Sunday sounds like far too long to wait for a new live musical to enjoy/vigorously criticize on Twitter, rest assured that the network’s take on Bye Bye Birdiewill come in December, just in time for J.Lo to help you celebrate the birth of Christ.
Martha Stewart, queen of Twitter, doesn’t use the site the way the rest of us do. When she needs a question answered or a mystery celebrity identified, she turns to the app’s denizens for an assist. “I can get a read on a question, on a problem, on a thing we’re doing pretty quickly and that’s really what I like about it,” she told BuzzFeed News. “It’s almost instantaneous.” That’s how she discovered Jonathan Cheban’s identity (Kim Kardashian’s friend/Foodgōd). Last June, Stewart asked the internet if Cheban was famous (the internet responded, “Well …”).
“I had no idea who he was,” Stewart told BuzzFeed. Now, she says the two are friends: “I didn’t know at all and he was so mad at me. But then he saw all the attention he got, so now he loves me. He calls me and he emails me. But I had no idea because I had never watched the Kardashian program … I didn’t know he was part of the coterie of people who hang out with her. Now I know — big time!”
As for her other viral thread about Jason Derulo stripping down during a performance on an especially hot night, Stewart said it makes use of Twitter’s other good feature: education.
And then:
“I’d never seen him perform live so it keeps me kind of interested in that kind of performance to photograph it and tweet about it,” Stewart recalled. “I’m learning something while I’m doing it, so that’s good for me.” Remember this: If you’re not shading someone on “the Kardashian program” or praising Jason Derulo’s artistry, that tweet you’re drafting is a waste of everyone’s time.
Between playing in Radiohead and trolling his fellow bandmates, Jonny Greenwood has long been Hollywood’s favorite Radiohead member. He’s scored every film Paul Thomas Anderson has made for the last ten years, including his upcoming mysterious fashion drama starring Daniel Day-Lewis. But he’ll soon have some company in the Best Original Score race — if the rules allow, anyway — because now Thom Yorke is getting into the movie-scoring business. Yorke has signed on to score Luca Guadagnino’s remake of Dario Argento’s 1977 Italian horror film Suspiria, which thrillingly stars Tilda Swinton (though you’ll never spot her), Dakota Johnson, Mia Goth, and Chloë Grace Moretz. (Guadagnino also recently enlisted Sufjan Stevens to score his Sundance hit Call Me By Your Name.) This is Yorke’s first feature-film score, but he’s had practice: He previously scored the documentary TheUK Goldwith Massive Attack’s 3D and did all the original compositions for the 2015 Broadway play Old Times, starring Clive Owen. He’s even scored a fashion show — the man’s talents are diverse. (Greenwood, by the way, is next scoring Lynne Ramsay’s You Were Never Really Here, starring Joaquin Phoenix.) Start placing your bets now for which creepy unused Radiohead tunes Yorke might unearth for this.
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In early March, a friend of mine texted me to ask if I wanted to be a talent producer for the Fyre Festival. I’d never heard of it, but the gig involved going to the Bahamas and being paid extremely well. So I said yes and packed my...More »
“All in all, I’d have to say they’re really... not bad!” —Lisa Luder
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion came out 20 years ago today (!!!!!). You’d think that the clothes in this iconic film about attending your high school reunion when your life seems lacking would have aged poorly, but quite the opposite. Not only have Romy and Michele’s 1997-era crop tops, chokers, and fruit prints remained relevant and stylish, but their looks from high school have also aged tremendously well, thanks to fashion’s never-ending infatuation with ‘80s style.
The titular subjects of the film, Romy (Mira Sorvino) and Michele (Lisa Kudrow), were total misfits in high school. During their formative years in Tucson, they took fashion cues from “Like a Prayer”-era Madonna, opting for goth-lite shoulder-padded blazers and crimped hair over the pastels and country-club cardigans preferred by the popular “A-Group.” In other words, Romy and Michele kept up with the trends, while the “cool kids” were dressing in their moms’ Ann Taylor hand-me-downs (remember, this was beforeLoft was kind of cool). Though they were tortured for being different, the two best friends had fabulous style — but no one in their high school was cool enough to realize it (except maybe Sandy Frink).
Photo: YouTube“Look, it’s the Madonna twins!” —Christy Masters
Cut to Los Angeles 10 years later: After hightailing it to a trendier town, Romy and Michele’s styles became more colorful, fun, and form-fitting. They never met a matching set or lace-up bodysuit they didn’t like. Truly, it’s almost spooky how Romy and Michele’s costumes foreshadowed current trends. The duo embraced athleisure long before Kate Hudson started hawking it. Romy’s prom dress preceded Carrie Bradshaw’s iconic Sex and the City tutu. Michele even wore a waist trainer at one point! If Instagram had been around in 1997, Romy and Michele would probably be influencers promoting teatoxes and vitamin gummies (which, by the way, are a healthy part of any fat-free, all-candy diet).
Despite their awesome beachside apartment, massive closet, and weekly Pretty Woman viewing parties, however, Romy and Michele still aren’t content with their postgrad lives. They don’t have boyfriends, and Michele is unemployed. Still determined to make it to their high school reunion, Romy and Michele come up with a cover story: They invented Post-Its and are now rich and successful entrepreneurs. (By the way, their sharp-shouldered “businesswoman special” outfits couldn’t be more modern; I could see Audrey Gelman wearing them to stump for Liz Warren in 2020.)
Photo: Touchstone/Getty Images
“They have nice lines, a fun, frisky use of color — all in all, I'd have to say they're really... not bad!” —Lisa Luder
After eventually realizing that, duh, their actual lives are pretty awesome, Romy and Michele strut into their reunion wearing self-designed dresses (DIY, so 2017!) that perfectly reflect their style. They’re short, sparkly, and low-cut; Michele’s is millennial pink and trimmed with maribou. Both look like the sort of thing you could find at Reformation today. They’re even wearing chokers!
The A-Group, the members of which are still clinging to their drab pastels and pearls, scoff at Romy and Michele’s dresses. That is, until Lisa Luder, former mean girl-turned-Vogue editor, shows up in a minimalist cream pantsuit and pixie cut. She asserts that yes, Romy and Michele are indeed fabulous, and have always been — so stick it up your tailpipe, Christy Masters!
Romy and Michele aren’t the only characters whose costumes have aged beautifully, though. Take the wise-beyond-her-years Heather Mooney (Janeane Garofalo). Heather’s all-black uniform is as representative of her character in 1997 as it is of the 2017 political climate. Even though Heather wasn’t exactly fashion-conscious, look at the details of her reunion look: the sheer sleeves, the jeweled cufflinks, the defiant stance that says #ImStillWithHer. Heather was, and still is, the epitome of minimalist goth chic.
And while Justin Theroux’s character, Clarence, had a cowboy-casual look isn’t really my thing, there’s no denying that he has aged spectacularly. Those cheekbones? Timeless.
Photo: Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion“You know what, Michele? I think you are, like, the funnest person I know.” —Romy White
At the end of the film, Romy and Michele open their own clothing store on Rodeo Drive and stock it with their signature peppy prints and adorable mini dresses. Not only do I believe this store would still be in business if it were real, but I’m confident it would be turning a profit like never before, snagging celebrity ambassadors like Charli XCX and any number of Hadids or Jenners. So why doesn’t it exist? Now more than ever, America needs a Romy and Michele pop-up shop. After all, who wouldn’t want to have a Romy and Michele day?
The other day, I was transporting three cartons of marigolds on my basket-less bike’s handlebars when one carton capsized and cruel gravity brought my flowers out of their dirt. There is no disconnect quite like the one that exists between what I think I can do while riding my bike vs. my actual cycling reality. I blame my hubris and resulting failure on, if you can believe it, music videos. I am perpetually trying to carry a trumpet or wear a dress on a bike, as I have previously seen set to my favorite music, only to have my hopes dashed when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirrored surface or make eye contact with someone who I have horrified. Here are some of the videos, if you will have them, that haunt me with a brazen misunderstanding of bikes and unreasonable aspirations as to my appearance while riding.
Riding with a large group that generally maintains the same pace as you
Biking in the dark of night with no lights and no apparent fear of law enforcement enforcing the law against not using lights in the dark of night
Cycling without a helmet
These are the feelings and aptitudes I seek when I am cutting through an unlit Prospect Park at 10pm, filled with fear after watching 2/3 of Lifetime’s Who Killed JonBenét but then deciding to leave to go to an acquaintance’s party.
“Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae (2006)
Not needing to lock your bike when you gets off of it to put ribbons in trees(?)
Being dressy on a bike with no additional gear, not even a helmet
In my mind, I am CBR, but in reality, I am riding my bike through Industrial Maspeth, Queens, sweating through a bra I unfairly promised myself I would never wear on a day I am going to sweat (every day).
The roller skater high five at 0:45 expresses an unspoken camaraderie with other wheeled beings
When he drums on the handlebars…!
No helmets still
Once, I saw a cyclist whiz down Metropolitan Avenue, throw his head back, and scream-sing, “Today is the greatest,” from the Smashing Pumpkins song “Today” (1993), and even this moment wasn’t all that enjoyable in the end because I know it sounds made up when I try to tell other people.
Siri search “how to look sexy while riding bike????”
The Ariana-style hi-pony (unattainable at all times but especially would be impossible…
…if she were wearing a helmet and not a custom hat!)
The one time I went to SoulCycle, the instructor had me sit in the front so she could guide me, and at one point she thanked me for giving 100% and then said “…SIKE!”
Having almost no issues shooting stuff into the air while biking
Having enough money that shooting it into the air is a viable option
Again, using a hat as a helmet
Last fourth of July, I rode my bike around Governor’s Island and threw grapes, one at a time, into the air for my friend who was riding behind me to catch in her mouth, but she didn’t catch a single one because “I” was “bad” “at throwing???” Then, when we were back, we rode through residential Brooklyn and passed a girl who was doing braids like a lemonade stand but for hair and she gave me a braid crown for only $6, and okay, okay, yeah, that’s pretty cinematic I see your point. :)
Jenny Nelson lives, writes, and performs in Brooklyn.
Chris Soules, aka Prince Farming from the 19th season of The Bachelor, contestant on The Bachelorette, and fourth runner up on the 20th season of Dancing with the Stars, is currently in trouble with the law for allegedly fucking up real bad in Buchanan County, Iowa. According to TMZ, Chris Soules rear-ended a John Deere tractor trailer with his pick-up truck on a road last night at around 8:20, sending the tractor and driver into the ditch. Instead of sticking around, he reportedly fled the scene in a panic; state patrol tells KWWL Iowa 7 that he left his truck behind. An ambulance arrived and took the tractor driver to the hospital, where he died.
Chris Soules was apprehended after a witness at the scene identified who the hit-and-run driver was. Not that there was any doubt who he was; he was arrested wearing a shirt with his name on it.
He was charged with leaving the scene with a death. He also reportedly received medical attention. As of 7:45am, he was being arraigned in court. TMZ got their hands on his arrest documents, and police claim Chris Soules was in possession of booze containers at the time of the crash. He is currently being held on a $10,000 cash bond.
Today is bound to be a rude awakening for Chris Soules. He was so used to having women fight for the chance to hear him say the words “Will you accept this rose?“. I highly doubt any of them will be answering his collect call from jail asking “Will you loan me a couple thousand dollars for bail?“.
We normally think of Bunnies at Easter and Reindeer at Christmas. But on April 12, a Reindeer named Bunny at the Brookfield Zoo delivered a fawn just a few days before Easter.
This is the first Reindeer birth at the zoo since 1980. Bunny and the sire, Karl, arrived at the Brookfield Zoo in 2015 and 2016, respectively.
Photo Credit: Brookfield Zoo
The male fawn weighed about seven pounds at birth, but is expected to grow rapidly, fueled by his mothers’ rich milk. Within just one hour of birth, the fawn was up and walking. A one-day-old Reindeer fawn can outrun a human.
Reindeer are pregnant for six-and-a-half to eight months. Fawns are born with dark fur that acts as camouflage and absorbs heat from the sun, an important feature for a species that lives in cold climates. By the time the fawn is a few months old, it will shed its dark fur as lighter-colored fur grows in. Little antler buds will also begin to develop in a few months. In most Reindeer populations, both sexes grow antlers.
Reindeer, called Caribou in North America, live in Norway, Finland, Siberia, Greenland, Alaska, Canada, and a few other locations. However, herds have been reported to be smaller in size than usual. This apparent decline has been linked to climate change. There are 14 subspecies of Reindeer, including two that have gone extinct. Reindeer are listed as Vulnerable by the International Union for Conservation of Nature.
Ceiling Eyes, Kristin Cavallari, Holly Montag andStacie the Bartender already have kids. Lauren Conrad currently has a baby in her womb. So does the unseasoned sliver of soggy celery stalk who worked at Teen Vogue. And now it’s Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag’s turn to spawn! The Hills are alive with the sound of pregnancy farts. It’s as if MTV paid them all to have children around the same time, because in 20 years, all of those kids can be cast members on The Hills reboot called The Flats. MTV will have to call it The Flats since erosion will eat the Hollywood Hills by then.
Every money-grubbing fame whore is shaking their heads in embarrassment at Spencer and Heidi today. If they did this ten years ago, their UsWeekly cover would be worth so much more money and they’d get at least one spin-off from MTV. But, it’s better late than never to sell the news of your fetus. Online crystal mogul Spencer and silicone robot Heidi tell UsWeekly that she’s 12 weeks pregnant and is due on October 19.
33-year-old Spencer and 30-year-old Heidi have been married for 8 years, which is a fact that should go down as the most surprising thing to happen in history. Spencer and Heidi did a full interview with UsWeekly and it’s about as riveting as watching piss dry on a toilet seat. But here’s a piece of it:
Us: Why wait until now for a baby? HM: I wanted a baby three years ago. Spencer was a little hesitant. Then one thing after another came up. We had work obligations, like Celebrity Big Brother in the U.K., which I did not want to be pregnant for. I’m actually really thankful we waited. I thought I was ready in my twenties, but with everything we had going on, it just wouldn’t have been a good situation for us. SP: Agreed. I think I’m ready. I know Heidi is ready! HM: It might never be the perfect time, so we said, Let’s move forward. We had all these conversations. We’re older, we have more life experience. Nothing is holding us back.
Us: What made you think you were pregnant? HM: I felt nauseous and I wanted to know, so I took a pregnancy test. I was so shocked; Spencer wasn’t. He was so sure it would happen right away. He was like, “You’re going to get pregnant the first time we try.”
Us: Had you been trying long? HM: It happened the first month!
Congratulations to these two messes! I, for one, can’t wait to see what kind of hilariously desperate pap photo shoots they’re going to make little UsWeekly Montag-Pratt pose in. Yes, they’re totally going to name their child UsWeekly Montag-Pratt. Gone are the days when a fame whore could get a big check just for giving the exclusive details of their newborn to a tabloid. They gotta name the baby after the tabloid now.
Small envelope, measuring 3.5 inches by 2.25 inches. There's a ribbon looped around and tied in a bow along with a hand-drawn rose. "Blest Rose" is written at the top. The envelope is sealed, but I can see that there's something inside, my best guess is a dried flower, likely a rose based on the decorations.
Found in "James Shore's Daughter" by Stephen Vincent Benet. Published by Doubleday, Doran & Company, 1934.
Our Father
Who art in bottles
Dissolved be thy teeth
Thy cavities come
Thy caffeine be done
In Walmart as it is in Wawa
Give us this day our daily beverage
And forgive us our arteries
As we forgive those who increase our risk of diabetes
And lead us not into protest lines
But deliver us from Kendall Jenner
For thine is the pop
And the soda
And the fizzy forever and ever
this blogger just makes me so happy and i wish i could take her class
You know what else is great about my job? The fact that teaching actually teaches people stuff. It’s incredible! We’re at Day 15 in my pop music class and the students, who began the semester with basically zero knowledge of specific styles and cultural histories, are now hearing stuff and confidently being all “oh yeah that’s a classic R&B horn section but the horns are being played as percussive instruments, verily this must be funk” and “hmmm this sounds like honky tonk but with way better production values I wonder if these are white dudes from San Francisco who hate progressive rock” and “ah yes the classic Phil Spector ‘wall of sound,’ I surely would know it anywhere and would never mistake it for a Motown recording as I did in my youth 15 class days ago.” Discoursing upon the Great Migration and different urban blues styles. Asking smart questions about record label consolidation and marketing demographics. THEY LEARNED. I laugh with glee as I grade these damn quizzes! The last quiz I gave they pronounced “too easy.” Gonna have to bring my A game to the writing of the final. “NAME EVERY MEMBER OF SLY AND THE FAMILY STONE IN ORDER OF BIRTHDATE”
Similarly with grad students. To give somebody a reading list and then six months later they come see you all jazzed about how their topic has changed now that they’ve read everything on the list! When they begin they’re like “yeah, I think trombones are cool” and then a year later they’re all “branding” this and “immaterial labor” that and “as David Harvey demonstrates” this and “confidently quoting Bourdieu” that. It’s so cool that if you put your shoulder to it you can learn stuff. And the labor shall never cease but lo what a joy it is
I also am learning and enjoying it. The other day I read a book I’ve tried to read three times over the past several years, and this time it finally clicked, I had finally read enough and built enough of an intellectual scaffolding to understand it, and it all came clear to me and I was just like, oh yeah, duh, what a great argument. I always think of these moments the way math problems reveal themselves to Russell Crowe in “A Beautiful Mind,” lighting up and rising into the air before his eyes. AHA!
It’s crazy that then you die and your brain just rots away and everything you learned just disappears
The best part of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is about to become a bigger part of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. David Hull, who plays the wonderful, if judgmental, White Josh — WhiJo to those of us who know and love him — has been made a series regular for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s upcoming third season, to Daryl’s perpetual delight. Deadline reported the news, adding that Scott Michael Foster, who joined the show in season two as lawyer Nathaniel, also got the same bump. Meanwhile our denial about Santino Fontana’s Greg not being a regular presence on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend for some time continues apace.
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Photo: Touchstone/Getty Images
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Photo: Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion
