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An 11-bedroom dream on Franklin comes true

Not all homes are created equal.

In the case of 1701 Franklin, it’s difficult to find any Pacific Heights house with more intricate, antique beauty or any greater atmosphere of refinement, even among the ranks of similarly storied Queen Annes.

Dubbed the Edward Coleman house, Noe Hill reports that architect W.H. Lille conceived of this home in 1895 for Coleman, a Grass Valley gold-mining magnate.

By way of contrast, Coleman built his longtime home in Grass Valley in 1866, living there for more than 25 years. It’s a charming piece of work in its own right, sure. But by comparison, his San Francisco home makes it look like a shack.

The sumptuous 11-bed, five-and-a-half-bath, roughly 7,125-square-foot, Victorian listed this week for more than $6.99 million, which, strange as it sounds, feels like a conservative figure.

“The home has been lovingly maintained by its current owners” for 18 years realtor, says Robert Callan. (Callan tells Curbed SF the last sale was in 2000 for roughly $3 million.) “It is suspected that the current owners are the second family to have lived in this one of a kind property,” he adds.

Highlights include a stained glass window so beautiful people would sell their condos in order to see each morning, gorgeous archways, and loads of wood detailing.

The ad also mentions “plans to add a garage with interior access as well as a deck,” and “approved plans to add an elevator are available for the new owner,” in case anybody wants to add complement to perfection.

Although whoever eventually buys this place could hardly be blamed if they chose to leave more than well enough alone.

• Edward Coleman House [Noe Hill]
• Edward Coleman House, Grass Valley [HMDB]
• 1701 Franklin Street [Robert Callan]

imagine-the-fanfiction:

I give you: a lot of love from the Twin Peaks cast and crew.

Other than not to drink it yourself

According to a recent New York Times trend-watching article, at least some rich, gullible health nuts in the San Francisco Bay Area are purchasing and consuming “raw,” untreated water, and honestly, good for them. It’s just the latest fashion in an area known for chugging Soylent and following Ketosis diets, and it’s a very natural, organic culmination of that obstinate libertarian streak running through Silicon Valley: Clean water that’s rigorously tested and delivered by pipes isn’t a human right and a cool technology, some seem to think it’s a state-sanctioned burden.

So: Should you drink raw water? Of course not. But here are four things to know about this whole silly business, which just might make some very annoying people very sick. That is their right, as they seem to feel very strongly.

It’s popular with Doug Evans, the guy behind the $400 juicer company Juicero

For his next act, Doug Evans, the founder of the failed juicer company Juicero, has been hyping raw water, telling the Times that he hasn’t consumed tap water in years. This fall, Evans was on a “raw water” cleanse in Mill Valley, drinking only raw water from the brand Live Water, which sells its perishable water from an Oregon Spring in glass jugs.

It’s sold at Rainbow Grocery, but it’s currently out of stock

As the Times article points out, raw water is sold at the (otherwise reputable) Rainbow Grocery, a worker-owned cooperative in San Francisco. But as representative Paul Knowles tells Eater SF, the store’s supply of raw water, which is from Live Water, has been depleted. “We’ve had it for about six months, and demand has been growing steadily,” Knowles says. But it’s not due to interest following the Times article that it’s out of stock. “The delivery is kind of... well, what they’re able to provide has fluctuated. That also increases the demand, and we haven’t had any in stock for a week.”

It turns green after “one lunar cycle”

Live Water claims that it’s full of natural probiotics and free from additives like fluoride, which is beneficial to dental health. Live Water’s founder, Mukhande Singh (born Christopher Sanborn), disagrees: He believes fluoride is a mind-control drug with no dental health benefits to speak of. While his website claims that “no one has ever gotten sick from drinking the water we bottle,” because the water’s untreated, he does encourage it to be kept cold and consumed within one lunar cycle, before it turns green. Cool!

It’s expensive

At least at Rainbow, Live Water will cost you. The bottle deposit is $22, and the water itself, 2.5 gallons of it, is now $16.49, up from $14.99. That doesn’t include health bills you might incur from bacteria and disease found in untreated water, like Hepatitis A, E. coli, carcinogenic compounds, metals, and parasites like Giardia.

• Unfiltered Fervor: The Rush to Get Off the Water Grid [NYT]
• What Is Raw Water? [Eater National]

If Julia Child was still kicking today and cooking her French ways on TV, she’d start each show going to her local fish market for some tobiko and salmon skin since sushi is apparently now penetrating croissants in the year’s first food trend. Quelle horreur!

Wanna get baked? Check out this fatty: a flaky croissant topped with sesame seeds and stuffed with a piece of smoked salmon sushi with pickled ginger, wasabi and nori, served with soy sauce from @mrholmesbakehouse. This @dailyfoodfeed original comes from our NEW #SanFrancisco contributor @cyneats. Follow @cyneats for great eats throughout SF and beyond! : @dailyfoodfeed @cyneats : @mrholmesbakehouse #⃣: #dailyfoodfeed TAG YOUR FRIENDS

A post shared by Jed's #DailyFoodFeed (@dailyfoodfeed) on Jun 1, 2015 at 3:39pm PDT

The Los Angeles Times reports that Mr. Holmes Bakehouse, which has restaurants in California and Seoul, is serving the “California Croissant.” What, daresay, is a California Croissaint, you ask? Everything nobody in their right mind ever asked for! It’s a croissant topped with sesame seeds and stuffed with smoked salmon, ginger, wasabi, and seaweed. Mmm mmm good? Sushi is one of those things I love to order when I want to lie to myself and trick my brain into thinking I’m eating healthy during a night out. But the thought of eating it alongside my morning hangover sauce, er, I mean espresso makes me wanna heave. Apparently, I’m not the only one.

Barf!

— Mischa Moselle (@MischaMoselle) March 4, 2017

I don’t know if the sushi gods are hard up or if sushi sales are down, but they’ve been trying to shove the raw stuff down our throats, and not in the way some of us like! (Teehee!) There has been sushi burritos, sushi tacos, sushi burgers, and sushi cakes. Stop trying to make sushi happen, Gretchen! An owner of a Mr. Holmes branch in San Francisco says the things are actually selling well.

CALIFORNIA CROISSANT @mrholmesbakehouse. Think of a California Sushi Roll: Salmon, Seaweed, wasabi & ginger rolled in CROISSANT DOUGH, baked and served with Kikkoman Soy. #mrholmesbakehouse #californiacroissant #bakery

A post shared by Aron Tzimas (@arontzimas) on Nov 24, 2014 at 9:35am PST

He says the thing sells out “super fast,” which would actually be impressive if we were talking about crossushi in Topeka. Fancy Californians would buy up all my Beanie Babies in the attic if you marketed them with the whiff of exclusivity! Actually, that’s not a bad idea… In the meantime, brace yourselves! Your newsfeed is about to get clogged in the coming months with #postpilatescrossushi with #justtheladies!

Pic: Wenn.com

Here’s a good news/bad news situation: a 41-year-old U.K. woman recently discovered she did not have the gastrointestinal disease Crohn’s (yay!) but that she did have bits of Heinz ketchup packs perforating her small intestine (yikes!).

According to a case report in the British Medical Journal titled, amazingly, “More »

If by some miracle I’m still alive at 85, the last thing I’m going to want to do is be tortured by some infernal piece of technology. I’ll happily live out my golden years listening to my favorite songs on the old iPod mini I’ve been holding onto since 1999. I’ll take a pass on your futuristic brain implants, your robot DJs, your pulsating holograms or whatever new-fangled technology they’ll have by then. I will not get played like this Italian Granny did by her ungrateful children who’ve filmed her giving a new Google Home the old college try.

I really want hear “Hey Goo Goo” as a club hit. If the internet can make that happen for me, 2017 will have been worth all the pain.

She’s developing quite a complicated relationship with this thing! Yes, she’s scared when it correctly tells her the weather, but she’s also not putting up with any of its bullshit. She raps her fingers on that thing like I’m sure she’s rapped on some naughty grand kid’s forehead. And what happens when Goo Goo won’t play your favorite song? Well technology is dumb and sometimes it’s just easier to do the damn thing yourself! Nonna doesn’t have time for your games, Goo Goo. By the end this is clear. No more polite “Hey“s, no more laborious “OK“s. Just “do it!“.

Pic: YouTube

Linus x Snapchat terror: distortion edition

Hope you filled up on thankfulness and gratitude yesterday, because you’re about to be stuffed with bitterness and resentment. In a new interview with FACT, Björk discusses her late ’90s collaboration with the Wu-Tang Clan, specifically how you will never, ever, hear it because she doesn’t remember what happened to it. “Ha! You know … I don’t know!” the singer laughed when asked about the tracks. According to Björk, she contacted the group to commission some beats for her then-upcoming album, 1997’s Homogenic. Unfortunately for music history (not really, Homogenic is still a gem), it was not to be. Explains the singer, “So, I was in Spain, and Wu-Tang Clan were supposed to come to Spain. RZA was supposed to come. But then months passed. Then the album got finished and I delivered it. Then RZA was like, ‘I’m ready! Shall I come to Spain?’”

Later in New York, Wu-Tang and Björk tried again to partner up, this time with slightly more success. “We wrote a couple of songs together. And I just felt … sometimes when you do things and you don’t plan them it’s magic. And I really think what we made was magic,” the singer recalls. “But I think because it wasn’t part of the whole Homogenic thing and it wasn’t part of what Wu-Tang were doing at the time, it was better as an idea, if that makes any sense?” It 100 percent does.

In the end, Björk enjoyed something even more magical than music: the chance to have Wu-Tang show her around NYC. “In my eyes, they’re punk. We are definitely [similar] — we do things in, like, a ritual way. The good thing was that I got to hang out with them. I got to see Wu-Tang’s version of New York,” she says. “Which was pretty cool. A very specific angle on that city that I feel very blessed to have experienced.” Oh, and don’t get too excited about any Jay-Z/Björk rumors either: “He asked me to write for one of his albums. It was a section for a song,” Björk says. “But it just didn’t happen in the end. Wasn’t meant to be.”

There’s something that’s been bothering me for a few months now, and I was hoping it would just resolve itself with the changing of the seasons, but it looks like that’s not happening anytime soon. (Indeed, the high today in New York City is a positively balmy 73ºF.) So please, have a seat, and hear me out. This is the primary fashion issue of my current personal time and I know it’s affecting you too. It’s the length of our pants, but more specifically our jeans. They don’t go all the way down to the floor anymore! Why??? In part, because we are rolling them up, because they are vintage Levi’s 501s (or whatever Madewell’s or Gap’s or Reformation’s or Urban Outfitters’ impression of a vintage jean is), which take on a more “relaxed,” “boyfriend” look when we roll them up and expose our dainty ankles. But it’s not just the vintage boyfriend jean look. It’s all the jeans. That’s the style of all the jeans now. When did this happen?

Call me old-fashioned, but I like a sock. pic.twitter.com/JpHyrgSobl

— Lauren Collins (@laurenzcollins) October 30, 2017

Let me back up. Remember the early aughts? Remember capris? Remember the J. Crew Minnie pant? This is not that. Those were three-quarter length pants. According to Lululemon, 2017 is the year of seven-eighths. I know it sounds silly, but that one eighth really makes a difference! At some point between skinny jeans and now, it’s like we all had a middle-school growth spurt combined with our dad accidentally tumble-drying the jeans we expressly said must be line dried so that they would drape just so over our Adidas shell-toes, and now all of our inseams have shrunk and we look stupid. It’s just enough to look accidental. It almost looks right, but is definitely wrong. We’re in an uncanny valley of inseam lengths, and you have to wonder if you’re being short-changed on fabric for cost-cutting purposes.

When Everlane (speaking of cost-cutting!) came out with their much-ballyhooed denim line, I was cautiously excited, if only by the price point (jeans are too damn expensive will be my platform in 2024). But I was a bit disappointed when I logged on to find that none of the jeans were full length. Please, tell me if you see a difference between The High-Rise Skinny Jean (Regular), at left, and The High-Rise Skinny Jean (Ankle)?

I regret to inform you that Everlane is straight-up lying once again. The nomenclature here is all wrong: I can see ankle in both images!! Whatever those are on the left is not “Regular.” Did that stop me from buying them? No, absolutely not. And I must say, they fit great at the waist (I bought the Mid-Rise because my hips are evident enough, thank you). But what they do not do is go anywhere near the floor or my shoe. Which is fine during “Hotumn” or “Hotober” or “Hotvember,” but will they last into December?

What happens when the temperature drops below 55ºF and you have to walk ten blocks out of your way to get to work because the train is doing that thing again? Will you just wear socks and have an Urkelesque gray area of too-much-sock, not-enough-pant? Or will you think cleverly of a high-top sneaker or a heeled bootie, but not realize until you get to work and sit down that everyone can see your unshorn shins?

No one needs or wants to see this.

I’m afraid there is no right answer, and we’re all going to look quite foolish in a few weeks.

Why isn’t anyone calling these cropped jeans what they are: “cropped”? Some of us know these as “floods.” Close, but not quite. I’ve also seen a lot of what they (the all-powerful fashion “they”) are calling “step-hem,” whose overall effect can be described as, “You Ran Out Of The Tailor’s Mid-Alteration To Chase Down Your Ex And His New Girlfriend To See How Hot She Is From The Back” and just left it hanging that way (crying all the way home). Hot off the Cold Shoulder trend of this spring, perhaps we should call this the Cold Ankle? Whatever it is it’s unsustainable.

Where did this trend come from?  In some ways, this feels like a bit of a hangover from this summer’s awful trendlet, The High-Rise Wide-Leg Crop, AKA the sailor pant. It’s also a bit of a band-aid solution for how to deal with jeans that were originally tailored to fit men (Do something fun with the ends! Roll them up so they know you have a boyfriend!), because while they might fit you at the waist, wherever you decide that is, they look like balloons over your shoes if you don’t scrunch the ends up. And no, I’m not going to pay for a full-scale alteration of the nice vintage jeans just so I can have a twisted outer seam in that nice heavyweight ’90s selvedge. Like I said above with the price of jeans.

But in most ways, it appears to be a last-ditch attempt to stave off what is surely coming up next, the return of the bell-bottom flare. We’ve exhausted the skinny jean and poked enough fun at ourselves and hipster millennials in jeggings and have swung completely the other way into some kind of awful wide-leg territory. Do not be fooled, this is a temporary respite. We are living in ignorance of the inevitable fact that at some point, for our own health and safety, our pants will have to touch our shoes. Maybe on the way to full flare we’ll pause again briefly to salute the boot cut? Maybe some radical designer will invent the ankle peplum? Or perhaps—as I know 1990s permateen Katie Notopoulos longs for—we will enter a very dark period of flared pants with inseams so long they brush the floor in the back, and get all dirty and ragged.

All I know is that no one wants to deal with What’s Happening Down There, and it’s a big problem.

A General Change in the Time Tables of the Pennsylvania Railroad will be made April 19, 1934.

R.M. Flocker, General Passenger Agent

In great news, the movie adaptation of Crazy Rich Asians looks like it fully satisfies those first two adjectives. EW has a collection of first looks at the movie, an adaptation of Kevin Kwan’s novel, which features an all-Asian cast led by Constance Wu — and boy howdy, these characters are living it up. In terrible news, Crazy Rich Asians doesn’t premiere until August 17, 2018. How dare you tease us for this long!

Sure, it’s more than that. In fact, you should watch the trailer, because this flick looks …

FLAMAZING.

And we don’t just mean the eye-popping costume and art direction. The performances look fantastic and we’d bet on the trailer alone that Allison Janey will be snatching up all kinds of awards in the months to come. Oscar nom practically guaranteed.

But Jesus take the wheel, is this ever giving us bad hair flashbacks:

For all you kids out there too young to remember: YES. THE WORLD REALLY LOOKED LIKE THAT.

It’s truly a wonder we ever survived it all. Bad perms and stone-washed denim as far as the eye could see, you guys. It was hell for baby T Lo. HELL.

We are so watching this on opening day.

[Stills: Neon via Tom and Lorenzo – Video Credit: Neon via YouTube.com]

• I
• Margot Robbie
• Movie Previews
• Tonya

The post “I, Tonya” is a Salute to the Worst Hairstyles at the End of the 20th Century appeared first on Tom + Lorenzo.

Quick! Click off this post, grab those glasses you wore to protect your eyes from melting while looking at the eclipse. You’re going to need them to keep your retinas from bouncing like my retina while looking at these blinding pictures of the sun (which feels like an understatement since she’s way more glorious than the real sun) becoming one with the moon (which again feels like an understatement since the moon only wishes it was as stunning as him).

Harald Glööckler, the earth-shatteringly gorgeous being who was born after a diamond and an orchid fucked each other raw, launched his new line of home furnishings with German reality star Sarah Knappik in Berlin yesterday. On one hand, letting photographers into the launch for his home furnishings line and sharing the pics with the public is really cruel. Only billionaires can afford Harald’s luxurious goods and so it’s kind of mean that he’s teasing us poors by showing us an opulent bathtub we’ll never be able to afford (but can make ourselves using an old tub from the junkyard, paint and stencils from Michael’s). But on the other hand, it was very generous and saintly for Harald to share these pictures with the public. Because these pictures of Sarah (looking like Cleopatra after she got captured by The Beast) and Harald (looking like a gorgeous cholita skunk in Liberace’s garden) reminds us that there is still beauty in this world.

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Pics: Wenn.com

’Sup, fam? So, you’re a 22-to-34-year-old unmarried or recently married urban professional, and you need a sick pad to do your thang in. Peep the new luxury apartment building 247 Ball, named for its street address but also because, hey, that’s just how we roll: everyone around here is a badass 24/7 baller, except for the crust punks squatting in the derelict warehouse next door and the pesky methadone clinic inpatients across the street who suppress property values!

Prices range from $4,150 studios to $12,750 three-bedroom suites when you and your college buds want to live the adult dream together (rent bills are payable by Venmo and can be sent directly to your parents). Hella discounted units are also available to residents willing to directly face the superfund site, pending the verdict of Department of Health v. 247 Ball.

Our elegant 38-story building seamlessly blends into the neighborhood’s historic aesthetic, with three honorary bricks that come from the youth center we razed in order to build. (The rest of the bricks are sourced from Finland.) In between the Bank of America and Pfizer billboards, commissioned graffiti on the water tower lends an authentic “woke” feel, yo, and recycled barbed wire and reclaimed-steel fencing keep out undesirable visitors in a bespoke and environmentally friendly fashion.

The amenities are lit AF: 24-hour attended doorman, concierge, and paramilitary security team; a library to study in for the LSATs so you can help eradicate unjust zoning laws someday; a rooftop for you and your homies to get your ’cue-and-brew on, check out the dope city views, and track the movements of external non-residents to safely time your Uber pickup; and a state-of-the-art wellness center, when you just need to chillax and forget about the socioeconomic misery of the surrounding environment for which your habitation is partly responsible.

We host monthly “Margarita Mixers” in the residents’ lounge so you can hang with neighbors in a casual setting to grow your LinkedIn network of digital-content strategists and ask if they know Brian Fadden from Cornell, who you’re pretty sure was their year.

The subway is a convenient eight minutes away on our bulletproof-glass shuttle van, which also makes stops at the Whole Foods, yarn-supply shop, mid-century modern furniture maker, fromagerie, and the other yarn-supply place that spells it “shoppe,” while speeding past the boarded-up apartment buildings (reopening under our management in 2020!), abandoned psychiatric hospital, and “Muggers’ Alley.” (Don’t worry, the name is misleading: it’s more of a dead-end street.)

Five percent off your first year of rent if you are generically attractive and consent to be featured in our promotional campaign depicting groups of young people laughing while holding pints of beer in an upscale bar.

Apply today — units are going fast, especially since the 17th floor has been taken over by the crust punks, and they’re apparently studying for the LSATs.