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dirtyberd:

Just looking for someone to hang out in a sand hole w me

¡Feliz día de los enamorados!

Quizá a muchos de ustedes, la Física no les llame la atención, pero sin duda, el efecto Leidenfrost lo recordarán fácilmente, o al menos, podrán lucirse con sus amigos explicándoselos de una manera que incluye una cerveza.

El efecto Ledenfrost, es el fenómeno que ocurre al formarse una capa de vapor alrededor de un líquido, cuando este se vierte sobre una superficie caliente, y significativamente mayor al punto de ebullición de ese líquido, en este caso la cerveza, aunque también funciona con agua y otros líquidos.

Seguramente, alguna vez habrán notado que cuando colocamos un poco de agua sobre una bandeja caliente, el agua hace contacto y se evapora lentamente, y conforme subimos la temperatura, se evapora más rápidamente al tocar la superficie, incluso haciendo pequeños silbidos. Pero cuando la temperatura sobrepasa el llamado punto de Leidenfrost, cuando se vierte el líquido, se forman un montón de gotas de agua que se mueven por toda la sartén.

Este efecto, se debe a que la parte inferior de la gota de agua se vaporiza inmediatamente al contacto con la superficie caliente, elevando el resto de la gota del agua e impidiendo así el contacto.

En el video, puedes ver lo que ocurre cuando se añade cerveza a un sartén caliente, una forma bastante clara de observar este curioso efecto. Desde luego, hay que tener paciencia para lograr encontrar el punto Leidenfrost de la cerveza u otros líquidos, ya que es difícil de calcular. Pero si lo logras, disfruta el momento, pues el mismo tiene un inicio y un fin, ya que un exceso en la temperatura terminará por romper el hechizo y evaporando cualquier gota de cerveza.

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La noticia El efecto Leidenfrost, o lo que sucede cuando se añade cerveza a un sartén caliente fue publicada originalmente en Directo al Paladar México por Mary Soco.

Image via

If you're one of those depressed single people posting "Fuck Valentine's Day" statuses on Facebook, I've got great news for you: According to science, love doesn't exist, so there's nothing to get worked up about.

Scientific study into mating and pair bonding behaviors leaves little alternative. Granted, science isn't one monolithic entity that collectively agrees on things. Plus you supposedly can't prove a negative, but Bill Nye in particular seems to be into debating that things don't exist lately. So while there's not an open debate about love, I'd love to moderate one. Bill Nye would be on one side, vivisecting love. On the other side would be Zach Braff and Oprah.

Right now there's a meme going around in interviews with psychologists about this animal called the prairie vole that engages in perfect monogamy, almost without exception. Prairie voles are so totally monogamous that they pair bond instantly after mating. As Abby Marsh, psychology professor at Georgetown University, said to a documentary crew, "Compared to a lot of other mammals, the male doesn’t just disappear. He sticks around." When she says "other mammals," she probably means us.

So scientists cut open the vole's brain and found, according to Marsh, "really dense oxytocin receptors in regions like the nucleus accumbens." The nucleus accumbens is the reward center. "When they mate, it triggers a flood of oxytocin to be released. That triggers a flood of dopamine to be released to the nucleus accumbens which causes the female to find that particular male really rewarding to be around." This is an animal that, if its mate dies, won't choose another mate. Instead it'll just die alone. Imagine how this vole thinks about its little partner vole. Imagine that love feeling. Are you imagining it?

Voles in love via

Next, because scientists are assholes like that, they gave the voles a drug that cut off their oxytocin receptors. Sure enough, Marsh says the vole is now, "uninterested in forming pair bonds," and its behavior will be essentially the same as its cousin, the polygynous Montane vole, which fucks everything in sight because it favors quantity of litters over its offspring's having the protection of two parents, a perfectly valid position for a vole to take.

It's the same with humans, Marsh says. "Humans are probably built similarly. People who excite romantic feelings in us probably also trigger increases in oxytocin, which results in this increase in dopamine when we find that person." We're just not as good at it as the vole, even without a scientist fucking with our oxytocin receptors.

No one should be surprised that pair bonding has been linked to biology, but think of it this way: We knew a long time ago how chemistry was involved in the reproductive component of what we interpreted to be love, in our narrow definition, and we figured how to turn that off via castration or oophorectomy. But there was still the pair bonding. Now we can shut that off too.

Which capacity would you rather have permanently turned off, mating or pair bonding? You have to say mating, not bonding, or you're a monster, right? Someone who can mate but can't bond doesn't love, do they? Besides, bonding and mating can't be all there is to love, can they?

For the past few decades, scientists and philosophers armed with pop sensibilities and book deals have done a lot of work compiling arguments in layman's terms that each explain away some socially toxic aspect of love: heteronormativity (you have to be a man and a woman to be in love), gender binary (you have to be either a man or a woman to be in love), along with patriarchy, monogamy, and exclusivity—all the tattered legacy of our superstitious ancestors.

There's enough mainstream science literature that you can cherry-pick until the explanation gels with your worldview. Steven Pinker's The Blank Slate explains much of human behavior as part of our biological programming, but he arguably gets too infatuated with 1950s gender roles, and in some circles he has become a symbol of sexism in science. For a while, it was tough to find intelligent discourse about this, what with the term "evolutionary psychology" being hijacked by fedora-wearing men's rights activists who used it to justify their "biological imperative" to "spread their seed."

Sex at Dawn, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá, who were rightly critical of Pinker, came out in 2011 and became the go-to explanation for humans as a non-monogamous species. It's now used by people in poly marriages to explain how weird they aren't, or brought to the table when people have the "I want to open up this relationship" talk. The book very successfully rips apart the idea of monogamy as a set-in-stone human instinct, but it also tends to be a little saccharine about our species' supposed preference for peace over war, and a suppressed instinct for conflict resolution through blowjobs.

Christopher Ryan is now America's leading anti-monogamy pundit. He told this to CNN: 

"The human body tells the same story. Men's testicles are far larger than those of any monogamous or polygynous primate, hanging vulnerably outside the body where cooler temperatures help preserve standby sperm cells for multiple ejaculations. Men sport the longest, thickest primate penis, as well as an embarrassing tendency to reach orgasm when the woman is just getting warmed up. These are all strong indications of so-called sperm competition in our species' past." 

But science doesn't just hold that we're a non-monogamous species. We're also fickle. Rutgers University psychology professor Helen Fisher, who spends most of her public speaking time talking about the science of attraction, theorizes that there's a four-year cycle on passion for couples. She ties it to the idea that you meet someone, mate, and raise a child until it can at least run from predators, and then one partner gets bored and leaves. Here's Fisher in a much less controversial mode:

That's not to say, by the way, that men leave. Any member of any couple could well want to take off, male or female, gay or straight. Sarah Hrdy's Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species is a brutal, unsentimental take on female sexual and maternal instincts. Totally intuitive statements from Hrdy like "Wherever women have both control over their reproductive opportunities and a chance to better themselves, women opt for well-being and economic security over having more children," shouldn't blow anyone's mind, but they often do.

But even while we keep redefining it, love remains this enduring literary concept that consoles us when we try to tackle the cosmic void. Carl Sagan pulled readers out of the darkest, most despairing chapters of his books about the infinite abyss with famous quotes like, "For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love," but what's really left of love after some time in the cold hard light of science?

While writers of bestsellers usually won't explain away love completely, the philosopher Judith Butler seems willing to go there but stops just shy. In a letter that was published in 2007 she wrote about grappling with the concept of love. She frames it as a series of transactions: "One finds that love is not a state, a feeling, a disposition, but an exchange, uneven, fraught with history, with ghosts, with longings that are more or less legible to those who try to see one another with their own faulty vision."

At the end of my aforementioned hypothetical debate, Bill Nye would force Zach and Oprah to agree to something like the conclusion Judith Butler came to. Love is just a behavior acted out by choice, because of forces within society. It means something to us not because it's a tangible thing that exists but because we've agreed to pretend it exists, like money, or Christmas.

@MikeLeePearl

Going to the gym is hard. It requires a lot of effort, and your 45-minute workout is the caloric equivalent of two pints of beer. It’s just a shitty and exhausting way to lose weight, and that’s why some are turning to the “tongue mesh,” the newest quick fix in weight-loss alternatives. It’s mainly practiced in South America, where plastic surgeons will sew a piece of plastic mesh to patients’ tongues with six stitches. The patient keeps it in their mouth for a month. From day one, it becomes incredibly painful to eat any solid food, so they stick to a strict liquid diet. All they can drink is broth, smoothies, juice, and soup. It costs as low as $600 to get the mesh sewn to your tongue for a month. The results? Shed 30 pounds in 30 days.

Dr. Raúl Góngora is the inventor of the tongue mesh technique. The Tijuana-based doctor came up with the idea 16 years ago and has been practicing it on thousands of patients every year, he said, with no problems. His friend and colleague Dr. Leonel González in Bogotá also practices the tongue mesh, but only after testing it out himself—he told us that he lost 40 pounds as a result. The technique is new to North America, and is hugely controversial. Some patients have been reported to have speech and sleep difficulty, while other doctors claim it is a massively unhealthy way to lose weight. We spoke with both doctors, the tongue mesh inventor Dr. Góngora and fellow colleague Dr. González, who defended the tongue-mesh surgery. 

VICE: How did this process begin?
Dr. Raul Góngora: Mexican cares more about the present. Obesity is a very serious problem, which is due to poor discipline. This method is considered a physical and psychological brake.

This recently reached North America—performed by Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Nikolas Chugay—but seems to have deeper roots in South America. 
Dr. Chugay is threatening the health of the American population, as my method hasn’t been approved by the FDA yet.

What are the demographics of your patients?
Our patients are 12 years to 80 years old; 80 percent of them are women, and 20 percent are men.

How much does the procedure cost?
The procedure is very cheap, $600 to $900, so it's accessible to all people. I do not know how doctors like Dr. Chugay profit from our invention by charging up to $3,000.

It is the controversial procedure? Are there long-term consequences or pain caused while eating?
No. To the contrary, the patient is detoxified and thus carries the diet we recommend. They do not develop malnutrition or have complications. 

How do you feel about disciplined exercise at the gym and going on a steady diet, as against this approach?
I think it's less effort to lose weight with methods like this. They help you to properly take the diet without cheating. 

Do you have something to say to people who think this is wrong?
If our method did not work or had no results, I would have abandoned it many years ago.

VICE: What is the mesh made of?
Dr. Leonel González: The lingual mesh is made of a synthetic material that is hypoallergenic, bioinert, and bio-compatible with no reaction to anatomic structures

Are there side effects?
The side effects depend on three main factors:

First: The physician must find out allergies and obstructive pathologies. Second: Fully explaining [to the patients] what the lingual mesh is what to do or not do, what the lingual mesh consists of, and what the results could be in every particular patient. Third: A strict weekly follow-up during the time the patient carries the device on and two additional months after procedure

The patient must eat at least five times a day, but some patients who are not hungry omit this rule, and as a consequence, in a few instances, a patient will show low blood sugar.

A liquid diet must be integrated with this procedure, to obtain the best possible benefits. Liquid diet is based on high-protein, vitamin-C-rich, low-calorie, natural-mineral smoothies with a maximum of 1,100 calories a day. Patients also receive natural supplements to regulate the metabolism in general.

It is a controversial procedure? Are there long-term consequences or pain caused while eating? 

Anything innovative is undoubtedly controversial, and more so when it comes to health. If the mesh is not placed properly by a trained doctor, it can cause pain and even problems after removing the device, so it is essential that the patient selects a physician carefully. Do not forget that the tongue is one of the strongest muscles in our body, besides being the organ of taste and swallowing.

What happens when the patch is removed from the patient? Are there any additional procedures?

After four to six weeks—maximum—the mesh is removed, and a nutritional monitoring starts for eight weeks, when we slowly correct the patient's eating habits. We must not forget that the patient needs motivation and interest, but also the doctor must keep track; that's fundamental.



Do you have something to say to people who think this is wrong?
I have much to say, because four years ago I lost 40 pounds with the lingual mesh. After losing those 40 pounds my health recovered and so did my self-esteem. It lasted four years. I am the strongest advocate of the procedure, after the creator. No doubt that, after over 1,000 patients treated, it is the best method for healthy weight-loss without surgery.

@nadjasayej

On Valentine’s Day in 1884, when Teddy Roosevelt was only 25, his mother died from Typhoid. She was only 48. Then, only a few hours later, he held his wife for several hours as she died in his arms, suffering from undiagnosed Bright’s disease. This all happened 36 hours after his first child Alice was born.

Reeling from both loses, he wrote the following in his journal:

He was so upset that, other than the above journal entry, he rarely spoke of her again.

So maybe it’s not so bad that you’re just spending the night alone, stuffing greasy takeout food into your maw while watching Netflix. At least the flickering glow from your TV sort of counts as a light in your life. Happy Valentine’s Day!

H/t Letters of Note

Esta no es una tradumaquetación del blog, pero es algo muy pedido y quisimos sacarlo antes, estoy seguro que lo van a disfrutar.

La colección Joyas Literarias Juveniles serie Verde, ha sido una de las más populares adaptaciones al cómic de clásicos literarios en España y algunos países hispanoamericanos y uno de los grandes éxitos de la Editorial Bruguera. Los títulos de esta colección son los considerados de literatura juvenil, apta para todos los públicos.

Entre los autores originales se pueden citar: Julio Verne, Salgari, Karl May, Walter Scott, Mark Twain o Mayne Reid o Stevenson (lista completa en la tabla de más abajo), en otras ocasiones los autores originales eran anónimosEn cuanto a los autores que se ocuparon de adaptar los guiones o realizar los dibujos, merecen capítulo aparte. Los guionistas eran autores o colaboradores de la casa, que firmaban bajo seudónimos y, con frecuencia, distintos, como Enrique Martínez Fariñas que firmó como Enrico Farinacci o Elliot Doole, nombres evocadores.

El guionista más prolífico fue José Antonio Vidal Sales (como Cassarel) y otro destacado, Victor Mora. Además de adaptar obras existentes, "adaptaron" otras supuestas, de Howard Stanley o del ficiticio Vincent Mulberry (VM). Más riguroso fue Andreu Martin con sus trabajos de Emilio Salgari y Enrique Sienkiewicz.

Algunos de los dibujantes habían dado anteriormente vida al Capitán Trueno, como Fuentes Man o Ángel Pardo. Porto o Cerón realizaron muchos de los títulos. El resultado de los dibujos es muy variable, desde trabajos de gran calidad a otros realizados para salir a tiempo y seguir vendiendo.

Las Joyas Literarias Juveniles se editaron de 1970 a 1983, en varias reediciones parciales, en las que algunos títulos se hicieron hasta 4 veces mientras que otros sólo dos, en función de las ventas de los mismos. El diseño secundario de portadas y contraportadas varió en estas reediciones.

Contenido:

• 001 - Miguel Strogoff - Julio Verne
• 002 - La Isla del Tesoro - Robert Louis Stevenson
• 003 - Historia de dos ciudades - Charles Dickens
• 004 - 20000 leguas de viaje submarino - Julio Verne
• 005 - Un yanqui en la corte del Rey Arturo - Mark Twain
• 006 - El pirata - Walter Scott
• 007 - Ben Hur - Lewis Wallace
• 008 - David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
• 009 - Los hijos del Capitán Grant - Julio Verne
• 010 - Aventuras del Capitán Singleton - Daniel Deföe
• 011 - Rob Roy - Walter Scott
• 012 - El último mohicano - Fenimore Cooper
• 013 - La isla misteriosa - Julio verne
• 014 - Quo Vadis - Enrique Sienkiewicz
• 015 - Aventuras de un soldado de Napoleón - Erckmann-Chatrian
• 016 - Ivanhoe - Walter Scott
• 017 - La vuelta al mundo en 80 días - Julio Verne
• 018 - La cabaña del Tío Tom - Harriet Beecher Stowe
• 019 - Ricardo Corazón de León - Joseph Lacie
• 020 - El señor de Balantry - Robert Louis Stevenson
• 021 - Viaje al centro de la Tierra - Julio Verne
• 022 - A través del desierto - Enrique Sienkiewicz
• 023 - El Robinson suizo - Johann Rudolf Wyss
• 024 - Tom Sawyer a través del mundo - Mark Twain
• 025 - Los últimos días de Pompeya - E. Bulwe Lytton
• 026 - El buque fantasma - Capitán Marryat
• 027 - Enrique de Lagardere - Paul Feval
• 028 - Aventuras de tres rusos y tres ingleses en el África austral - Julio Verne
• 029 - Buffalo Bill - W. O'Connor
• 030 - El talismán - Walter Scott
• 031 - Sin familia - Héctor Malot
• 032 - Príncipe y Mendigo - Mark Twain
• 033 - La estrella del sur - Julio Verne
• 034 - Robin Hood - Norman R. Stinnet
• 035 - La Cruz y la Espada - George Witting
• 036 - Entre apaches y comanches - Karl May
• 037 - Ruta al infierno - Howard Stanley
• 038 - Dick Turpin - C. Harrison
• 039 - La Isla de la Aventura - Robert Louis Stevenson
• 040 - Aventuras de Huck Finn - Mark Twain
• 041 - Davy Crockett - Elliot Dooley
• 042 - La Isla de Coral - R. M. Ballantyne
• 043 - La montaña de oro - Kark May
• 044 - Lawrence de Arabia - Elliot Dooley
• 045 - Entre chacales - Kark May
• 046 - Ojo de halcón - Fenimore Cooper
• 047 - Julio César - Enrico Farinaci
• 048 - La flecha negra - Robert Louis Stevenson
• 049 - Hacia el Zambesi - Vicent Mulberry
• 050 - De grumete a almirante - Capitán Marryat
• 051 - Agua de fuego - Elliot Dooley
• 052 - Sandokan - Emilio Salgari
• 053 - Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Deföe
• 054 - Claudio y la tabla redonda - Vicent Mulberry
• 055 - El tesoro del lago de La Plata - Kark May
• 056 - Norte contra Sur - Julio Verne
• 057 - El piloto - Fenimore Cooper
• 058 - Aventura en el Oeste - Mark Twain
• 059 - La Isla de Nunca Jamás - Vicent Mulberry
• 060 - Tom Sawyer detective - Mark Twain
• 061 - La Reina de los Lagos - Nayne Reid
• 062 - Cinco semanas en globo - Julio Verne
• 063 - Los caballeros teutones - E. Sienkiewicz
• 064 - Un viaje interplanetario - M. M. Astrain
• 065 - La esfinge de los hielos - Julio Verne
• 066 - Los cazadores de caballeras - Mayne Reid
• 067 - Quintin Durward - Walter Scott
• 068 - El León de Damasco - Emilio Salgari
• 069 - Tartarín de Tarascón - Alphonse Daudet
• 070 - Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
• 071 - Aventuras del Capitán Hatteras - Julio Verne
• 072 - Viaje a la Luna - Julio Verne
• 073 - Taras Bulba - Nicolas Gogol
• 074 - El capitán aventurero - Walter Scott
• 075 - De los Apeninos a los Andes - Edmundo D'Amicis
• 076 - El Rey del mar - Emilio Salgari
• 077 - Aventuras de John Davys - Alejandro Dumas
• 078 - Por un billete de lotería - Julio Verne
• 079 - El volcán de oro - Julio Verne
• 080 - Aventuras del Capitán Corcoran - Alfred Assollan
• 081 - Dos tigres - Emilio Salgari
• 082 - Aventuras de David Balfour - Robert Louis Stevenson
• 083 - El hijo del Sol - Emilio Salgari
• 084 - Sangre romañola - Edmundo D'Amicis
• 085 - Los pescadores de Trepang - Emilio Salgari
• 086 - Los mercaderes de pieles - R. M. Ballantyne
• 087 - Botín de saqueo - Karl May
• 088 - El Escarabajo de Oro - Edgar Allan Poe
• 089 - Aventuras de Jack - Alphonse Daudet
• 090 - Cuento de Navidad - Charles Dickens
• 091 - El faro del fin del mundo - Julio Verne
• 092 - Nuevas aventuras de Dick Turpin - Charles Harrison
• 093 - El correo Rolando - Paul Fevat
• 094 - El tamborcillo sardo - Edmundo D'Amicis
• 095 - El Corsario Negro - Emilio Salgari
• 096 - Los tres mosqueteros - Alejandro Dumas
• 097 - Veinte años después - Alejandro Dumas
• 098 - Don Quijote de la Mancha - Miguel de Cervantes
• 099 - Los buscadores de oro - Enrique Conscience
• 100 - Genoveva de Brabante - Canog Schimid
• 101 - Un capitán de quince años - Julio Verne
• 102 - Guillermo Tell - Johan Schiller
• 103 - Heidi - Juana Spyri
• 104 - Aventuras de César Cascabel - Julio Verne
• 105 - Viajes de Gulliver - Jonathan Swift
• 106 - Bernadette - Cassarel
• 107 - Moby Dick - Herman Melville
• 108 - Escuela de Robinsones - Julio Verne
• 109 - Juana de Arco - Aldo Bruneti
• 110 - Los náufragos de Borneo - T. Mayne Reid
• 111 - Rienzi - E. Bulwer Lytton
• 112 - Corazón de Oro - Lois May Alcott
• 113 - Robur el Conquistador - Julio Verne
• 114 - Dueño del mundo - Julio Verne
• 115 - La pequeña Dorrit - Charles Dickens
• 116 - A través de la estepa - Julio Verne
• 117 - Dos años de vacaciones - Julio Verne
• 118 - El duque de Van Guld - Emilio Salgari
• 119 - Nuevas aventuras de Robin de los Bosques - Cassarel
• 120 - Mujercitas - Lois May Alcott
• 121 - La montaña de luz - Emilio Salgari
• 122 - Trampa de cactus - Karl May
• 123 - Aquellas mujercitas - Lois May Alcott
• 124 - La capitana del Yucatán - Emilio Salgari
• 125 - Tartarín en los Alpes - Alpohonse Daude
• 126 - Aventuras de un niño irlandés - Julio Verne
• 127 - Hombrecitos - Lois May Alcott
• 128 - El Castillo de los Cárpatos - Julio Verne
• 129 - El soberbio Orinoco - Julio Verne
• 130 - Aventura en los Andes - T. Mayne Reid
• 131 - Las indias negras - Julio Verne
• 132 - Los cautivos del bosque - Capitán Marryat
• 133 - Los piratas del Halifax - Julio Verne
• 134 - La casa de vapor - Julio Verne
• 135 - El archipiélago en llamas - Julio Verne
• 136 - El buque pirata - Karl May
• 137 - Los mineros de Alaska - Emilio Salgari
• 138 - Alicia en el País de las Maravillas - Lewis Carrol
• 139 - El diablo de la pradera - Karl May
• 140 - Otra vez Heidi - Juana Spyri
• 141 - El valle de los osos - Karl May
• 142 - El rayo verde - Julio Verne
• 143 - Combate en los pantanos - T. Mayne Reid
• 144 - La estampida - Karl May
• 145 - Safari en el País de las Sombras - T. Mayne Reid
• 146 - Aventuras del Barón Munchhausen - K. F. Munchhausen
• 147 - En el País de las Pieles - Julio Verne
• 148 - Vida y aventuras de Nicolás Nickleby - Charles Dickens
• 149 - Los misterios de la Jungla Negra - Emilio Salgari
• 150 - Grandes esperanzas - Charles Dickens
• 151 - Ella - H. Rider Haggard
• 152 - Tiempos difíciles - Charles Dickens
• 153 - La Soberana del Campo de Oro - Emilio Salgari
• 154 - La tienda de antigüedades - Charles Dickens
• 155 - El lobo de mar - Jack London
• 156 - Las minas del Rey Salomón - H. Rider Haggard
• 157 - Aventuras de un grumete - T. Mayne Reid
• 158 - Los hermanos Kip - Julio Verne
• 159 - Aventura en el Mississippi - T. Mayne Reid
• 160 - Aventuras de Allan Quatermain - H. Rider Haggard
• 161 - Un drama en Livonia - Julio Verne
• 162 - Drama en el Pacifico - Emilio Salgari
• 163 - Prisionero de los Ogallalas - Karl May
• 164 - La vuelta al mundo de dos pilletes - H. Vautz-Galopin
• 165 - Nuevas aventuras de Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe
• 166 - Los viajes de Marco Polo - Marco Polo
• 167 - Hector Servadac - Julio Verne
• 168 - Los primos - Lois May Alcott
• 169 - Bajo las lilas - Lois May Alcott
• 170 - Heidi en la gran ciudad - Cassarel
• 171 - Los piratas del Caribe - Emilio Salgari
• 172- El espíritu de Llano Estacado - Karl May
• 173 - El continente misterioso - Emilio Salgari
• 174 - El lago de los ensueños - Juana Spyri
• 175 - La venganza de Winnetou - Karl May
• 176 - En la boca del lobo - Karl May
• 177 - Historia de un guerrero - Karl May
• 178 - La última batalla - Karl May
• 179 - A través del Oeste - Karl May
• 180 - A merced de un pistolero - Karl May
• 181 - En las montañas de África - Emilio Salgari
• 182 - Aventuras de Tom Sawyer - Mark Twain
• 183 - La promesa del Corsario Negro - Emilio Salgari
• 184 - Corsario Negro en pos de una venganza - Cassarel
• 185 - El triunfo del Corsario Negro - Cassarel
• 186 - Las tribulaciones de un chino en China - Julio Verne
• 187 - Familia sin nombre - Julio Verne
• 188 - La ciudad del rey leproso - Emilio Salgari
• 189 - Los pescadores de ballenas - Emilio Salgari
• 190 - Los exploradores del Meloria - Emilio Salgari
• 191 - La perla del Río Rojo - Emilio Salgari
• 192 - El pueblo aéreo - Julio Verne
• 193 - La caza del meteorito - Julio Verne
• 194 - Un descubrimiento prodigioso - Julio Verne
• 195 - La jangada - Julio Verne
• 196 - Ante la bandera - Julio Verne
• 197 - A sangre y fuego - Emilio Salgari
• 198 - Corazón - Edmundo D'Amicis
• 199 - Los papeles póstumos del Club Pickwick I - Charles Dickens
• 200 - Los papeles póstumos del Club Pickwick II - Charles Dickens
• 201 - Las aventuras de Simbad el Marino - Anónimo
• 202 - Simbad en el Reino de Ahmin - Anónimo
• 203 - Simbad contra el Reino de las Tinieblas - Anónimo
• 204 - La jirafa blanca - Emilio Salgari
• 205 - Yolanda - Emilio Salgari
• 206 - La cazadora de cabelleras - Julio Verne
• 207 - Las dos pruebas de Sandokan - Emilio Salgari
• 208 - El Conde de Chanteleine - Julio Verne
• 209 - Cabezahueca Wilson - Mark Twain
• 210 - Keraban el Testarudo - Julio Verne
• 211 - Los 500 millones de la princesa india - Julio Verne
• 212 - Clovis Dardentor - Julio Verne
• 213 - El piloto del Danubio - Julio Verne
• 214 - El secreto de Storitz - Julio Verne
• 215 - Novela de vacaciones - Charles Dickens
• 216 - El reloj de Maese Humphrey - Charles Dickens
• 217 - El grillo del hogar - Charles Dickens
• 218 - El abismo - Charles Dickens
• 219 - La tierra de Tom Tiddler - Charles Dickens
• 220 - Los piratas del estrecho - Emilio Salgari
• 221 - El hijo del León de Damasco - Emilio Salgari
• 222 - La galera del bajá - Emilio Salgari
• 223 - El desierto de fuego - Emilio Salgari
• 224 - La campana de plata - Emilio Salgari
• 225 - La cimitarra de buda - Emilio Salgari
• 226 - El buque maldito - Emilio Salgari
• 227 - El anticuario - Walter Scott
• 228 - El enano negro - Walter Scott
• 229 - Guy Mannering - Walter Scott
• 230 - Woodstock - Walter Scott
• 231 - Rokeby - Walter Scott
• 232 - Vieja mortalidad - Walter Scott
• 233- La doncella de Pert - Walter Scott
• 234 - La Dama del Lago - Walter Scott
• 235 - El rey de los cangrejos - Emilio Salgari
• 236 - La heroína de Puerto Arturo - Emilio Salgari
• 237 - El fin de un imperio - Emilio Salgari
• 238 - Un experimento del doctor Ox - Julio Verne
• 239 - El Capitán Tormenta - Emilio Salgari
• 240 - El capitán de la D'Jumna - Emilio Salgari
• 241 - El gran cazador de las praderas - Emilio Salgari
• 242 - Morgan - Emilio Salgari
• 243 - La hija del jeque - Karl May
• 244 - La cristiana de la torre - Karl May
• 245 - Los ladrones del desierto - Karl May
• 246 - La llamada de la selva - Jack London
• 247 - El perro de los Baskerville - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 248 - La mina - Karl May
• 249 - Tres corazones - Jack London
• 250 - Aventuras entre los pieles rojas - Emilio Salgari
• 251 - La expedición del pirata Trachsel - Jack London
• 252 - Martín Edén - Jack London
• 253 - Drubovsky el bandido - A. Pushkin
• 254 - La hija del capitán - A. Pushkin
• 255 - Ruslan y Ludmila - A. Pushkin
• 256 - Colmillo Blanco - Jack London
• 257 - El mundo perdido - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 258 - El signo de los cuatro - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 259 - Nuestra Señora de París - Víctor Hugo
• 260 - Lord Jim - Joseph Conrad
• 261 - Trafalgar - Benito Pérez Galdós
• 262 - Bug Jargal - Víctor Hugo
• 263 - Los miserables - Víctor Hugo
• 264 - Estudio en escarlata - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 265 - Sir Nigel - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 266 - Aventuras de Sherlock Holmes I - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 267 - Hazañas del Brigadier Gerard - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 268 - Aventuras de Sherlock Holmes II - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 269 - La Compañía Blanca - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 270 - El fin de Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
• 271 - Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
• 272 - Gaspar Ruiz - Joseph Conrad

Idioma: Español.
Editorial: Bruguera
Guion: Varios.
Dibujo: Varios. 
Tradumaquetadores: Barbarian, Jargimen, MrIMG, Crom, Trachsal, mInIna, Legard, Lukesky, Kiliam, Hluotwig, Tla, Ryderark, Hispanomic, Catayo1, Blake22, Ondes, Glaxbyl, Yan, Roverandom, Batarxi, Corbato, ZxS, Crust, Emejota (CRG)
Archivos: 272
Formato: CBR.
Tamaño: 3.22 Gb

 

The Valentine’s Day cards you find at the store have to be broad and generic in order to sell as many as possible. That’s great for their bottom line, but not so good for you if you need something very specific. I put together some crudely designed cards just for those moments when you need to be very specific. Feel free to share them with your special someone! 

Ese é o triste final de Pezuñas, o boi raza rubia galega Record Guinnes coas súas 2,2 toneladas.

In fantasy art, women's body armor is often depicted in ways that may appear unrealistic. This may come as a shock to some of you, but in the opinion of some critics, the popular chainmail bikini is designed to appeal to male visual taste, not practical protective abilities.

This is, of course, a great misunderstanding. Artist Stjepan Sejic explains the science behind this popular trope. Read the whole piece here and get educated.

-via Geek Art Gallery

Las librerías especializadas en cómic integradas en ZONA CÓMIC CEGAL hemos elegido la obra Los surcos del azar de Paco Roca, editada por Astiberri, como el mejor cómic nacional publicado durante 2013.

Sam, 28

My girlfriend constantly says “I gave you sex.” As in, she had sex with me so I should do the dishes, or I should clean her car out because she “gave” me sex. It makes me feel like she doesn’t love or care about me, that sex is just a think she puts up with so I can do favors for her.

Jeff, 35

My girlfriend is really spacey, I get it, but she’ll wonder aloud whether she turned the oven off in the middle of sex! It makes me feel bad, like she isn’t into it.

Andy, 27

Girls who act like a dead fish. If you just lay there, it’s not fun.

Tommy, 24

Girls with poor hygiene. If you want me to go down on you, fine, but please shower first.

Reed, 30

My ex used to tell me to cum. I can’t do it on command!

Nate, 33

When a girl is really grossed out by semen. It really ruins the mood. We’re adults, this is a part of sex.

Matthew, 29

Calling me “daddy.” It’s creepy.

Josh, 30

When a girl is completely silent during sex. No moans, no talking, nothing. It’s like fucking a ghost.

John, 33

Not mine but I hate that dudes think its okay for a girl to not have an orgasm! Make her cum first, then get off.

Mike, 30

Baby talk. WTF?

Rory, 25

DTRs immediately following sex. I just want to relax and enjoy what we just did, not talk about what it means for our relationship.

Jon, 23

Scrapping your teeth during a blow job. I would never hit a woman, but come on.

Christopher, 30

A girl once said to me, “are you almost done?” We actually broke up in part because of that, it wasn’t the whole cause, but it was the catalyst.

Jason, 35

Ha. If only I had a pet peeve. My wife never wants it at all so if she did I wouldn’t complain about anything.

Aaron, 28

Girls who are too insecure to try anything other than missionary with the lights off. I used to be okay with it but now that I’m getting older I’m realizing that it’s just immature.

Mike, 23

None!!!!!!!!

Luke, 29

Girls who are completely passive.

Andrew, 31

I hate that I have to be on top 99% of the time. I want to see her riding me too.

Brian, 30

Faking orgasms.

Eric, 27

I just hate cleaning up afterwards.

Lee, 26

I’m not sure if this counts, but I hate how girls tell their friends everything. I want some stuff to stay private. I don’t like thinking that when her friends come over they are looking at me and judging me because I like butt plugs.

Peter, 32

Okay this is graphic, but when we are in doggy style you can kind of see everything so… um…. wipe really well and then make sure there aren’t bits of toilet paper stuck up there.

Neil, 28

Girls who couldn’t care less about sex. Or act like its a chore as soon as we’re exclusive.

Andy, 33

My only pet peeve is lack of it.

Michael, 31

Lack of imagination.

Chris, 29

NEVER talk about your ex in bed or compare my penis to another guy’s dick. This really happens. Stop.

Jason, 27

Honestly, if a girl doesn’t like to have fun in bed, she doesn’t like to have fun in life and we’re not going to be a fit in either place.

Rob, 29

I don’t like it when a girl is too rough, like biting or nail-scratching.

Brad, 32

If I saw something I want and the girl I’m dating says “gross.” You don’t have to love every sexual thing I love, but idk, don’t say it’s gross.

James, 34

Vanilla sex.

Ben, 31

When I never get it.

Tim, 29

When a girl isn’t clean enough with her self-care.

Brandon, 24

Condoms.

John, 25

Constantly doing all the work.

D, 26

Sigh. I am uncircumsized and women always make a big deal about it. It’s embarrassing and kills my mood. I’m not American! Sue me.

Will, 30

The wet spot.

Kyle, 28

There isn’t anything I would say I HATE that can’t be talked through.

David, 34

Why does it always go from hot to nonexistent immediately after we make it official?

Dan, 23

A girl who thinks your penis is soooo sensitive that she’ll barely touch it even when I say they can use more pressure.

Ian, 28

Squeaky beds, girls with roommates, girls who insist their animal sleeps in the bed.

James, 29

I hate worrying about pregnancy.

Mike, 28

I want to get my girl off, but my tongue gets tired during oral and she doesn’t ever get off from regular sex. It’s frustrating.

Carson, 24

Girls think I want it all the time because I’m a dude. I’m not always feeling it.

Adam, 31

She never takes her shirt off anymore.

Jake, 28

Talking too much.

Rob, 34

Sometimes I think she’s asleep but she’s awake… just laying there.

Joshua, 30

I don’t like when a girl wants to use sex toys while we’re having sex. Those are for whem I’m gone.

Ryan, 29

Being excited to do the deed and then finding a giant bush.

Jason, 28

When it’s “that time of the month.”

Paul, 27

I don’t like it when it seems like the girl isn’t enjoying herself. Sex should be fun for both of us.

Americans Try To Place European Countries On A Map, Brits have similar results attempting to place US States on a map.

Un técnico de Santiago admite el amaño de la guardería a Vendex

• Los papeles de la Pokémon: Regalos a políticos en el sumario
• PP y oposición dicen ahora que los regalos deben eliminarse
• El jefe de gabinete de Currás lo contradice y alega que no hacía nada sin que lo supiera
• Currás dice, «y no me da rubor», que Vendex le regaló unas botellas de vino

Fotos: Sole

Na rúa San Francisco do Ferrol atópase O Camiño do Inglés (981352090), un interesantísimo local gastronómico que atopou unha interesante fórmula para facerse un oco na cidade, aínda que non é moi coñecido fóra do departamento. Daniel López, o cociñeiro, pasou antes polos fogóns de Casa Marcelo e Casa Pendás e iso nótase. E moito. Aquí a fórmula é a sinxeleza e a informalidade. Hai unicamente un taboleiro no que o cociñeiro escribe a diario con xis os pratos que se lle ocorren do mercado. Todo pensado como para racións para compartir, aínda que o taboleiro é abondo amplo como para poder escoller entre varias e diversas opcións ao facer un menú.

Na casa hai platos clásicos (as aliñas de pólo desosadas, que son a estrela da casa) ou eses guisos do norte do país que tanto se agradecen. En xeral, todo moi fresco, divertido, con platos sinxelos que teñen un tratamento técnico moderno que os alixeira e, ao mesmo tempo, potencia os seus sabores. Cociña ben resolta, doada, destinada a un público que quere disfrutar coa comida, que non é moi dado a experimentos pero agradece pequenas innovacións nas súas rutinas gastronómicas.

Chamoume ben a atención o servizo do viño. Non hai carta como tal. Digamos que o servizo é a propia barra e o que ten por riba. Botellas aliñadas que teñen posto o seu prezo con xis, e as permiten ter sempre unha visión “actualizada” dos viños que se ofrecen no Camiño do Inglés. Economía de guerrilla hosteleira, pero tamén un punto informal e orixinal que te fai sentir moi cómodo. O restaurante, por certo, fai un curioso xogo de conceptos entre o Camiño Inglés, que pasa pola porta do restaurante, e as orixes familiares de Daniel, cuxo pai estivo emigrado en Gran Bretaña.

Daniel preparounos unha selección de pratos do restaurante servidos en medias racións -cinco ou seis. Acompañámolo, creo, cun branco de Valdeorras. Pagamos polo asunto vinte e algo euros por cabeza, máis que satisfactorio por un excelente nivel de cociña: sabrosa, ben pensada e cunha gran paixón polo mercado. Un bo motivo para visitar Ferrol!

Opening thought: I write about oral sex too much on the internet.

As a proud bisexual woman I get many inquisitive individuals asking things such as “is it more fun to give head to girls or guys?” and I absolutely love answering because there are pros and cons to each. I have, proudly, fucked my fair share of men and women. More accurately: I was a little wild in high school and went through a breakup that did a number on me a few years ago and fucked my way numb to cope. So here you go, the empirical evidence I have gathered from such ventures. Apologies for the generalizations, I’m pulling from my own experiences, so of course they won’t be universally applicable. Just sayin’ so you can keep the butthurt comments to a minimum (lol yeah right).

Going down on guys, the pros:

• It’s pretty simple, honestly. There are a few techniques one can employ if so they choose but more or less, slide it down the back of your throat, focus on suction and tongue maneuvering, there you go. It’s easy.
• They don’t take as long to orgasm.
• They are usually really grateful about receiving head. They don’t really complain about anything, maybe a “faster” here or there, but more or less, they let you do your thing.
• Once they’re done, they’re done, and you’ll know.
• There’s no confusion as to whether or not they’re getting off.
• It’s usually a lot easier to get them off too.

Going down on guys, the cons:

• I am a very sexually open person, I can handle most things. I struggle with having god damn semen in my mouth. I literally struggle to not make visible gagging motions. I can’t imagine it’s a flattering thing for the guy. But it’s not about them, it’s about the fact that it is a salty, weirdly textured nightmare and I am not an advanced enough human to handle it.
• That sensation of, you know, choking and dying and not being able to breathe if you have a gag reflex/a man with a big enough dick.
• You probably don’t look sexy bobbing your head up and down like that.
• Pre-cum is weird.
• Not all of them understand the concept of reciprocation, and they tend to just fall asleep once they’re done, or at least just be really tired.
• Messier.
• You have to clean up their shit/risk it getting on your bed/person and like, sometimes it’s hot but most times it’s like ok can we not.
• Some are really into the person swallowing once they’re done and when these kinds of men are that way they tend to be forward about wanting to “come in your mouth.”

Going down on girls, the pros:

• Especially in comparison to most men, girl orgasms make you feel really accomplished. They gasp and thrust a lot and it goes on for a while and as they’re like screaming and moaning you feel like a goddess of the vag.
• Not as physically demanding in terms of things your mouth needs to be able to handle.
• So much room for possibility for number of fingers, toys, motions, vibrations, tongue placement, etc.
• Multiple orgasms are easily attained.
• It’s fun to find that “spot” inside them (not even just the g-spot, just whatever thing really works for them) and watch them contract their whole body and like, freak out.
• “Straight” girls having lesbian sex for the first time is like, the funnest thing. “I really didn’t question before this, but like, a man has never made me feel this way.”
• Again, it’s mostly that girl orgasms are these big long to-dos that are akin to like, getting an A on an assignment you weren’t sure about and your teacher writes “You are absolutely amazing, this was the best thing I’ve ever read.” (Replace read with felt and there you go).

Going down on girls, the cons:

• They get periods and you have the passing thought of “hope that shit doesn’t surprise me one day.”
• They take longer, and your tongue can only take so much.
• They can be more particular about what they want and don’t want.
• They’re always more vocal about what they want and don’t want.
• They’re physically more sensitive and you can’t just go terribly rough on them without prior discussion.
• Them not having an orgasm feels like the biggest failure (I have never let it come to this, I will go down with that ship before I don’t see that my girl comes repeatedly). 

Love Kate Bailey? Check out her new Thought Catalog Book here.

All photos by Kirsten Stamn

Dim the lights, crank the D’Angelo, pop the champagne, and fill your sockets with vanilla-scented Glade PlugIns—we’re mere hours away from the year’s most revered greeting-card-company holiday of true love and palpable loneliness known as Valentine’s Day. After somewhere between two weeks and half a century of dating, it becomes your obligation to bestow upon your sweetheart not only an enchanting and dignified evening of wining and dining but also a heavenly round of mutually orgasmic boning. Should your desire for your beloved be insufficient even after a half-dozen chocolate-covered strawberries and three glasses of bodega-bought Shiraz, I’ve gathered and tested five powerful aphrodisiacs from around the world that are alleged to inspire stirrings in even the most frigid pair of panties or boxer briefs. Try surprising your boo by feeding these love foods to him or her blindfolded, and watch your heartthrob melt into a humanoid puddle of sexual ecstasy on the spot. 

Oysters
Well, we’ve all heard this one. Slurp down a dozen or so of these mucousy little dudes, and Cupid’s arrow will get your briny blood yearning. Most would assume that this is because of oysters’ cunnilingual attributes; indeed, they do look, smell, and taste not unlike spread-eagle, aroused, but mysteriously cold and graying vaginas. It may shock you, but you are not the first person to notice this.

Yet there's actually some legitimacy beyond the fact that they look like a Lindsay Lohan crotch shot. They’ve got tons of zinc and amino acids that scientists say actually increase blood flow, testosterone, and sperm count. If this is true, it’s curious that the Grand Central Oyster Bar doesn’t have more fistfights and public handjobs.

Visual Appeal 
Basically a refrigerated rock with a particularly rubbery loogie on it, like when you cough up some creepy green stuff and know you’re about to get the flu. 

How Horny? 
Kind of horny. No physical awareness of stirrings on our end, but anyone who has worked in a restaurant has witnessed a weird date between middle-aged divorcées in which they’re getting super turned-on just by slurping these while gazing into each other’s eyes.

Truffles
Not the chocolate ones, the black spongy fungus (a.k.a. Burgundy truffles) that disciplined beagles sniff out in hollowed-out tree trunks in Western Europe. A seventh-grader could tell you that a heart-shaped box of Godiva truffles will take you pretty far, but these love foods are for those whose will to sexually perform goes above and beyond the proletarian chocolate-assortment buyer. There are two significant reasons why black truffles are a food of love. The first is that they’re super fucking expensive ($400 a pound on a good day). Most people wouldn’t know the difference in flavor between the world’s rarest black truffle and a cremini mushroom, but it’s the mental association with a Scrooge McDuck–inspired indoor swimming pool of gold coins that puts a glimmer in your date’s eyes. The second and more legit reason is that they actually emit a musky pheromone similar to that of the invisible, panty-dropping armpit juice that wafts out of men’s locker rooms at Crunch gyms. This also explains why putting even slightly too much truffle oil on something makes it taste like a crotch. So that’s fun! 

Visual Appeal
Remember hearing those stories about how airplanes used to have their toilets connected to the outside air so that, on occasion, frozen chunks of shit would just land in people’s yards in, like, Kansas?  Alternatively, maybe a small brain soaked in espresso.

How Horny?
Maybe a little horny, if you can look past the overwhelming associations with self-congratulatory foods like “truffle mac-‘n’-cheese” and just meditate on them in a red-high-heels, Skinemax kind of way. 

Spanish Fly
Despite its contemporary associations with fedora-wearing pick-up artists and tacky sex shops that also sell edible panties made out of Fruit Roll-Ups, Spanish fly is actually a semi-legit aphrodisiac that dates back centuries and was even allegedly used by Hippocrates. Traditionally made from pulverized blister beetles, it was typically found in the form of a powder that would irritate your junk and increase genital blood flow, inducing a sort of artificial boner, or at least a sense of agitation that some might confuse with horniness. The downside: It’s poisonous, and a bunch of people who ate it and thought that they’d wildly improve their “performance” just ended up ODing and dying. Thus, these days the “Spanish fly” that you’ll find at your local sleazemonger is made out of far more boring Red Bull-esque ingredients like vitamin B3, ginseng, and guarana. Some have horny goat weed (actual name of herb), which is actually supposed to relax muscles and increase penile blood pressure. Kind of like a less fun, holistic version of poppers.

Visual Appeal
The bikini-heavy packaging with faux-Latin flair is significantly more exciting than the actual product. Sometimes looks like Red 5–laced vitamins, sometimes looks like those mini packets of flavored lube that they give out in sex ed. 

How Horny? 
No one I knew was willing to take this, likely because the real version is illegal and kills you and the fake version is probably cut with baby aspirin and/or lighter fluid.  The thought of people buying this for themselves in earnest is so sad that it’s actually kind of boner-killing. 

Sea Cucumber
Remember sea cucumbers, those cute, giant, underwater caterpillars that you got to touch in the tide pool at the aquarium? Well, you can also boil them and eat them as a nutritious delicacy. Usually you’ll find them dried in Chinatown, but once you reconstitute them by a soaking and boiling process that takes at least three days, they look pretty much exactly as they did in the tide pool. They share calamari’s quality of tasting almost like nothing, or in the words of my friend Charley, “like a dick made out of wet travel pillows.” But in spite of their flaccidity, they are supposed to prevent blood clotting, are an anti-inflammatory, prevent cancer, and even make your wounds heal faster. They definitely possess some magical qualities, but it’s at the cost of eating something that looks like a dildo (thus the “aphrodisiac” aspect) and feels like a wet zucchini that you left in the back of your fridge until it turned into mush. Another reason that sea cukes make people horny is that their defense mechanism is to stiffen and puke a stream of gut water when provoked. Sound familiar? 

Visual Appeal
Really looks like a large, petrified phallus excavated from an Egyptian tomb.

How Horny?
If you want to eat a dick, just eat a dick. There’s no need for a proxy. But it’s pretty cool that it makes your wounds heal faster. 

Balut
Ah, good old balut. For those of you unfamiliar with this Filipino delicacy, don’t worry—it’s just a duck egg! Well, it’s a boiled duck egg with a heavily-developed, beaked and feathered fetus inside. In Filipino culture, it’s pretty popular and largely considered a masculine food, and pregnant women are often advised against consuming it lest they have “hairy babies.” But it’s densely nutritious, super high-protein, and tastes like chicken. 

Visual Appeal
From the outside, a boring, totally normal egg. Once you crack it open, it’s a deflated duck fetus nestled up against a veiny yellow placenta, pleading through its white, vacant eyes for you to have mercy on its soul.  

How Horny? 
Mixed reports. My friend Kevin claims that he lost his virginity after first eating balut with his older Filipino girlfriend when he was 16, so that’s something. For perspective, a lot of non-Americans think gravy and peanut butter are disgusting. Whatever tickles your fancy; we’re not here to judge.

@jaggedlittlehil

When British forces pull down the union jack for the last time in Afghanistan this year, it will be a hugely symbolic moment. It is not just that the departure marks the end of 13 years of British involvement in combat in that troubled country. The surprise is that it could also signal the end of a century or more of unbroken warfare by British forces. Next year may be the first since at least 1914 that British soldiers, sailors and air crews will not be engaged in fighting somewhere.

An interactive timeline of Britain's 100 years of conflict

"There is no guarantee there will not be any action in 2015."

For years now, Barbie has been criticized by feminists and body-acceptance advocates for giving young girls unrealistic expectations of what their bodies should look like. Studies show that girls who play with Barbies are more likely to feel dissatisfied with their own bodies as they grow older.

Recently, this has started affecting Mattel’s bottom line, as more parents prefer to buy their daughters dolls with slightly more realistic proportions in the hopes of not giving them body dysmorphia. Sales went down about 13% last holiday quarter–a huge drop for the iconic brand.

In order to combat this, Mattel is now cynically adopting the language of the body-acceptance movement to their own ends. In discussing the fact that the doll will be “posing” on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, a representative from Mattel explains that Barbie is “unapologetic” about her impossibly perfect figure, and will not be listening to any of your silly criticism.

Via AdAge:

“Barbie is a legend in her own right, with more than 150 careers and a brand valued at $3 billion,” a Mattel spokeswoman said. “She is in great company with the other legends such as Heidi Klum and Christie Brinkley, to name a few.”

“As a legend herself, and under criticism about her body and how she looks, posing in ‘Sports Illustrated Swimsuit’ gives Barbie and her fellow legends an opportunity to own who they are, celebrate what they have done, and be unapologetic,” the spokeswoman added.

Sports Illustrated also argues that the Swimsuit Issue celebrates women in a positive way. “From its earliest days, Swimsuit has delivered a message of empowerment, strength and beauty,” Swimsuit Editor M. J. Day said in a statement, “and we are delighted that Barbie is celebrating those core values in such a unique manner.”

First of all, of course Barbie is “unapologetic” about the way she looks. So is the box of Kleenex on my dresser. Barbie is a plastic doll. If she were a real woman, she’d probably have some pretty serious body issues, the least of which would be the fact that she would have no room for her organs, she’d have to crawl around on all fours and would not even be able to menstruate.

Second? Please do not compare the very real and constant policing of actual women’s bodies with legitimate criticism of an absurdly impossible and pretend body ideal that has been proven to be psychologically damaging.

Third: This will perhaps be controversial, but I believe the term “empowered” just needs to go away now. When it is being applied to Barbie and to posing in a bikini in Sports Illustrated, it has lost all meaning and relevance. I can’t remember the last time I heard the word “empowered” to describe anything other than kowtowing to patriarchal bullshit. Can you? You never hear “Getting a law degree is so empowering.” You hear “getting a bikini wax” or “posing for Playboy” or “taking pole dancing lessons” is so empowering. While I’m definitely sex-positive as hell and see nothing wrong with any of those things, I find it a little annoying and get a little suspicious when these are the only things we hear being described as “empowering.”

I also am not buying that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is celebrating real “empowerment, strength and beauty” when the models in these things are photoshopped into oblivion. Not that I think “celebrating beauty” is any kind of radical act, by far–I am pretty sure that’s kind of the entire point of “swimsuit modeling” to begin with. But don’t say you’re celebrating a woman’s beauty when what you’re really celebrating is pretty much a computer generated image of a woman’s beauty that even that model–a person who is “beautiful” for an actual living–cannot achieve on her own.

Para la formación el PP demuestra con esta medida «até que punto menospreza a intelixencia dos composteláns»