I’m sure you’ve heard the latest scare headline: “I.S.I.S. Has Now Infiltrated the Gaza Strip”!

Yes indeed, this is a huge breakthrough. You know why? Because it’s the stupidest, most fake headline involving I.S.I.S. in all the years that I.S.I.S. has been featuring in fake scare headlines. I’m about ready to suggest that everybody who doesn’t have a clue about the Middle East just STFU for the duration — but then, I do take a mean-hearted pleasure in working out on these dorks. So let’s get the workout started and bruise a few knuckles on the knuckleheads pushing this I.S.I.S. in Gaza scare.

The most obvious absurdity of the headline, for anyone who’s been following I.S.I.S., is the notion that they would ever want to “infiltrate” anything. , I.S.I.S. is a hype-monster, a publicity machine, way more interested in fund-raising and online profiles than military success.

So it’s about as likely to “infiltrate” Gaza as Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian are to show up incognito at a club, asking the paparazzi to respect their privacy. It just doesn’t happen that way.

I’ve talked about this in my last article, tracing the pattern I.S.I.S. established long ago in Syria, where every time they managed to take some insignificant hamlet in the desert, they announced a new “Emirate” and did the chicken dance like “Genghis, eat yer heart out!” Infiltrate? Please. These guys don’t do infiltration.

In fact, how did anyone find out that I.S.I.S. has a “presence” in Gaza at all? Because I.S.I.S. supporters have been staging demonstrations in Gaza, getting themselves photographed in the standard Syrian-jihadi outfit of ninja PJs and basketball shoes, with prop suicide vests and automatic rifles.

That’s not infiltration, that’s a protest vote by local hotheads who are upset that Hamas, the Gaza-based Islamist militia, hasn’t been aggressive enough in fighting the IDF. It’s an inevitable expression of frustration — and Gazans have plenty of reason to be frustrated, as they watch Hamas throw harmless backyard DIY rockets into Israel to be intercepted, or land on waste ground, and then see Israel responding with precision air-to-ground munitions that kill hundreds of Gazans. You’d be pissed off too if you lived in that miserable strip of dirty shoreline, and if you were one of the tens of thousands of young men watching your neighborhood blasted to rubble with no effective retaliation, you’d damn well think fondly of a group like I.S.I.S., which has a genius for making itself look more powerful and victorious than it’s ever really been.

So there’s nothing surprising, or secret, or significant about the fact that some Gazan kids have been expressing their rage against this one-sided war by waving the black flag of I.S.I.S., the one seemingly effective Sunni military force in the world at the moment.  It’s just the result of a very effective propaganda campaign I.S.I.S. has been conducting for years — and, as usual, I.S.I.S.’s best friends and secret allies in this campaign is none other than the propaganda wing of the Israeli Army itself.

Yes, I’ll say it plain: Israel and the Sunni jihadis in Syria are allies. If anybody had the sense to look carefully at how the IDF has reacted to the Syrian Civil War, god damn it, they’d have seen this years ago. Every time Israel has used its air power against any military force in Syria, it’s been against the Alawites and their Shia allies, Hezbollah. Especially Hezbollah. Never, never once, against these supposedly fearsome Sunni jihadis overrunning Syria. You know why? Because (a) they ain’t that fearsome, just a handful of undisciplined assholes; and (b) more importantly, by being undisciplined thug assholes, they make for wonderful Israeli propaganda, while also (c) bleeding Hezbollah and Assad, who are organized enough to really worry Israel in a way the grab-bag of Sunni militias never could. There’s no moral distinction between Assad and his Sunni enemies. Assad is a mass murderer many times over — but he happens to be an Iranian client and an ally of Hezbollah and those are the only two forces that really worry Israel.

There, that’s Syria for you in thirty seconds, as seen from Israel. If you want it confirmed, just look at a map — I don’t know why nobody ever looks hard at a map! Look at the Golan Heights, occupied by Israel. Look east, and notice that right under the heavy artillery of the IDF lie the lowlands occupied by Sunni jihadis — sitting ducks for air or art’y strikes — yet who have never once been hit by the IDF. All this time, as the IDF’s planes and tubes blasted Hezbollah every chance they got, they’ve looked down onto the plains east of Golan and gazed upon a patchwork quilt of Sunni thug militias with the fond eye of a poisoner watching his petri dishes of Ricin bubble and fizz.

Israeli military intelligence has a thousand and one uses for a group like I.S.I.S., and now that Gaza has exploded again, they’ve found a new way to use their little Sunni thug buddies: As a way to smear Hamas, a more serious, sane Sunni militia. And that — Jeez, I can’t believe I even have to explain this it’s so fucking obvious — that, friends, is why you’re getting all this “I.S.I.S. in Gaza!” crap.

There was a time when the IDF didn’t even have to justify its occasional kill sprees in Gaza. For most of my lifetime, and the lifetime of all Americans, Israel was always right, period. If Gazans threw rocks and got bullets, rubber or steel-jacketed, in response, the US headlines would read “Arabs Attack Israeli Security.” And if the casualties of that encounter were 12 dead Palestinian kids and an Israeli soldier with arthritis in his trigger finger, the first sentence of the news story would be, “An Israeli serviceman was injured today by Arab rioters.”

That began to change, very slowly, in the new millennium. The reasons for the shift are too complex for me to go through here; the point is that Israeli military PR can’t count on that kind of automatic indulgence these days, not even from the American press.

So they’ve had to become more creative, as nations at war always do. And that’s where I.S.I.S. has come in so very, very handy. I.S.I.S. is insane and reckless enough to slot nicely into the space in the Western press’s group mind labeled “Crazy Arabs with Guns.” That space used to be occupied by the Palestinians, until the world noticed that the Palestinians seemed to be doing a lot more takin’ it than dishin’ it out. They started to seem more pitiable than scary.

Ever since the world press — including, for the first time, the US press — had a collective retching fit at the images of mangled Palestinian kids produced by “Operation Cast Lead,” Israel’s 2009 attempt to make up for its 2006 wimp-out against Hezbollah by killing as many civilians as possible in Gaza, Israel has had to find new ways to scare the US public into accepting its latest raids on Gaza.

Imagine you’re an Israeli Army press officer, in charge of finding a new PR strategy; what do you do when you’ve got the urge to blast Gaza again, but want to avoid tapping into that “Palestinians as pitiable victims” meme going around?

Thanks to the dumb-ass thugs in I.S.I.S., it’s simple: You just replace “Palestinians” with “I.S.I.S.” Now you can tell the world press your F-16s aren’t blasting Palestinians — kids with faces and families — but eeeevul I.S.I.S. jihadis in black masks, kind of like two-legged viruses that somehow jumped across miles of desert from I.S.I.S.’s actual turf in eastern Syrian and Western Iraq to the shore of the Mediterranean Sea.

And voila! You can blast Gaza without upsetting your American backers, just like the good old days.

But maybe you feel like asking, “I don’t know, Brecher, aren’t you being a little paranoid here? Aren’t you just guessing about all this?” (see I’m doing the Little Bighorn thing here, fluttering around in a show of weakness in order to draw you into a misguided attack).

Nope. If the online news sites passing on this crap about I.S.I.S. had bothered to spend five friggin’ minutes researching the sources who fed them the nonsense about I.S.I.S. in Gaza, they’d have realized they were being fed a line by Gatestone Institute, which happens to be one of the oldest and sleaziest IDF PR outlets around. (And yeah, Inquistr, I’m talking to you here.)

These sites didn’t do anything as boring as check out their source. They just jumped like puppies at the I.S.I.S. angle, barely mentioning in passing that the original source was Gatestone. Gatestone’s story on I.S.I.S. in Gaza is the fountainhead of this flood of BS, the source of the whole fake meme.

And — what a surprise, huh? — Gatestone is a notorious Likud front, created and financed by a bigoted heiress named Nina Rosenwald:

Nina Rosenwald is founder of the Gatestone Institute—a New York-based offshoot of the neoconservative Hudson Institute—and an important funder of a panoply of right-wing “pro-Israel” and anti-Islamic organizations. Dubbed the “Sugar Mama of Anti-Muslim Hate” by journalist Max Blumenthal, Rosenwald is an heir to the Sears Roebuck fortune…

Rosenwald has helped funnel millions of dollars to rightwing “pro-Israel” causes. In its 2011 report on the U.S. “Islamophobia network,” the Center for American Progress identified the Anchorage and Rosenwald foundations as key financial backers of anti-Islamic messaging in the United States…

So there’s your source, a hate site that’s been funding scum like Daniel Pipes and David Horowitz for years. Gatestone even “rolled out the red carpet” for far-right Dutch loon Geert Wilders. I’m not one of the “Islam is always right” doormats, but these people are genuine, old-school bigots who just plain hate all Muslims. You should think twice, and then a few more times, before you take any story on faith from a source like that, even if the story is that the sun shines in the day time.

When you look at how the BS story of I.S.I.S. in Gaza spread from Gatestone to the online press, you see two lines: One, the sources like Inquistr who just seem gullible and hasty; and the other, more sinister one, consisting of sources that actually share Gateway’s very sleazy ties to the Israeli right and its propaganda wing.

The most interesting — not to say suspect—media outlet involved in this effort is something called Vocativ. What got me involved in this story in the first place is that my editor at PandoDaily got an email from a reader asking me to look into a Vocativ story headlined, “ISIS: We Are Operating in Gaza: The extremist terror organization is establishing a toehold inside Gaza, despite Hamas’ claims to the contrary”

Notice the way Vocativ is pushing the idea that there’s something secret about I.S.I.S.’s franchise startup in Gaza, despite the fact that I.S.I.S. is as publicity-shy as Donald Trump? Vocativ’s whole article is full of absurd claims to have uncovered something hidden, thanks to its Sherlock-Holmes like skill in navigating “the Deep Web.”

Vocativ analysis of deep web chatter in ISIS forums suggests that the extremist Sunni organization, which has taken over roughly half of Iraq and threatens Assad in Syria, has ties with militant groups operating in Gaza.

This “Deep Web” stuff is Vocativ’s big selling point. Well, its official one anyway. Its real selling point, from what I can see, is a whole lotta photos and videos of nekkid ladies, always with some kind of nano-millimeter deep justification, like “Four Questions for Nude Artist Milo Moire” and “Naked Ambition: The Queen of Nudist Real Estate.”

Seriously, those are Vocativ headlines. And when you realize that Vocativ is also a mouthpiece for Israel’s armed forces, you have to stop and have a moment of silent appreciation for the sheer sleazy hilarity of this world. I mean, a site that’s half soft porn and half IDF press releases, with a side bet on a fake occult skill in Deep Web summoning…that’s just amazing. Darwin, baby, you made us an interesting world. Not a very nice one, maybe, but interesting as all Hell.

Vocativ’s claim to have uncovered I.S.I.S.’s Gaza presence via “chatter” on the “Deep Web” is nonsense, of course. Like I said, these are not shy people, I.S.I.S. Every time they do something, they publicize it til their throats are sore. If they run some poor guy off the road and fill his truck with bullets, they’re not gonna try to hide it, they’re gonna post the video all over the net and brag about it over and over like the mean kids you remember from ninth-grade PE.

If they manage to recruit a few teen hotheads in Gaza, they’re gonna get all ten of them dressed up in the team uniform and blast the group photo all over the world. So using the “Deep Web” to find I.S.I.S. in Gaza is a lot like the old Gary Larson cartoon of a Neanderthal sitting on a giant microscope looking into the fur of a huge hairy pachyderm and announcing like Mister Science, “It’s a mammoth.”

Except, when you’re talking about I.S.I.S. in Gaza, it’s more like a little mouse in a Mammoth suit. So why would Vocativ make such a fuss about this fake story? Well, a look at its staff and funding gives kind of an interesting answer. The first thing you notice about Vocativ when you look into its origins is the prevalence of the name “Kochavi.” Mati Kochavi is “the company’s founder and primary financial backer”

And Mati Kochavi also happens to be well connected to Israel’s very big and lucrative spying industry. From Haaretz:

Mati Kochavi, the Israeli businessman behind the Zurich-based AGT International, whose safety and security control systems are sold worldwide, as well as the Israel-based high-tech company Logic, came up with the idea of bringing together experienced American journalists, Israeli technology and intelligence analysts to generate original and genuinely exclusive content. His online news site, Vocativ.com, launched last month…

As befitting someone coming from the field of computer systems and security services, Kochavi often hires analysts – he calls them “ninjas” with a background in Israeli intelligence. We met former Google analysts, people with multi-language fluency and people who served in the Israel Defense Forces’ signal intelligence unit, Unit 8200.

Kochavi is actually quite a lot like I.S.I.S. in his media strategy, bragging about his darker accomplishments instead of hiding them. He also seems to have found a place at Vocativ for every other Kochavi he knows; Vocativ’s story puffing I.S.I.S.’s role in Gaza was co-authored by one Adi Kochavi.

All those Kochavis! It’s a name I happen to know pretty well, because I naturally follow the career of General Aviv Kochavi, one of the most important strategic minds in the Middle East. General Kochavi has had an interesting career. He commanded the Gaza Division before being promoted to head of Military Intelligence.

Kochavi is a man who understands the importance of the world press in the sort of war being carried out in Gaza. In fact, he’s on record as saying the IDF’s most important battlefield is online:

Major General Aviv Kochavi, speaking at the annual conference of the Institute for National Security Studies in Tel Aviv, went on record as saying “cyber, in my modest opinion, will soon be revealed to be the biggest revolution in warfare, more than gunpowder and the utilization of air power in the last century.”

And when General Kochavi talks about “cyber,” it’s naïve to think he only meant the stuff that hackers do. Cyber-warfare means controlling the online narrative and using it to keep the world press on your side, or at the very least, off your case, while you kill the people you want to kill. That’s a fact of war in the new millennium.

So, though I don’t know if Mati and Adi Kochavi are genetically related to General Aviv Kochavi (Pando contacted Vocativ for comment but had not received a response by press time. A later statement said there is “no connection” between Adi Kochavi and Gen Aviv Kochavi.) the IDF’s new cyber-intel boss, it seems pretty safe to say they’re his descendents in ideological terms. He runs IDF propaganda, and this ridiculous meme, “I.S.I.S. in Gaza,” has all the marks of an IDF experiment in finding a new solution to the old problem of maintaining press supremacy, with Vocativ as the new vehicle for experimentation. The weird cynicism of all those naked women mixed in with BS techie boasts about “Deep Web” occult skills makes for a perfect platform to mess with the heads of Western, and especially US, tech nerds, whose money and words have a wildly disproportionate influence in contemporary politics, and thus warfare.

So the I.S.I.S./Gaza meme turns out to have two parents: One, the dull, old-school Beltway “Institute,” Gatestone, pushing out the claim in its stolid way — and the other, the zippy little Vice-wannabe site Vocativ, drawing clicks with naked women and using tech-geek claims to occult Deep-Webbery, Harry-Potter style, to try out the IDF’s fallback position — that the harmless ol’ Palestinian groups are being replaced by a new, less-human I.S.I.S., much less sympathetic, much easier on the conscience when it’s time to bomb them.

Update II: Story updated to include quotes from Haaretz.

Update: A spokesperson for Vocativ sent Pando the following statement:

Your headline is incorrect — Vocativ has no ties to intelligence, and nothing in your story demonstrates otherwise.

[Editor's note: Haaretz says "Kochavi often hires analysts - he calls them “ninjas” with a background in Israeli intelligence. We met former Google analysts, people with multi-language fluency and people who served in the Israel Defense Forces’ signal intelligence unit, Unit 8200."]

Brecher’s only “proof” is an insinuation that there’s a connection between Major General Aviv Kochavi and Vocativ founder Mati Kochavi — which there is not — and a comment made by a former employee from one of Mati’s other companies, who left his employ seven ago — roughly four years before Vocativ was even an idea. Of course the Israelis Mati employs have military backgrounds, as all Israeli citizens must must serve in the military, other than ultra orthodox. A McDonald’s in Tel Aviv has employees with military backgrounds.

It’s also important to note that Vocativ is a NY-based company whose newsroom operates independently. Regarding Vocativ’s ISIS story, it clearly states that the information was found on open, official forums and social media – and with full transparency, included links to the sources in the piece. Using its deep web technology, Vocativ surfaced facts — not an unhinged rant.

Lastly, nowhere did we use the word “infiltrate”, per your erroneous and irresponsible headline.

[Editor's note: Our headline also doesn't use the word "infiltrate."]

[illustration by Brad Jonas for Pando]

Pic @ Jonthan Leder… yum

The title of this one kind of sums it up, lol. Read my latest Breathless column for Vogue HERE :)

Being abroad is fun until OMYLORD WHERE IS THE PEANUT BUTTER.

Peanut Butter

Thinkstock

The average European eats less than 1 tablespoon of peanut butter a year. Because apparently they're insane. PB is extremely difficult to find in Europe, and when you finally do, the store will probably have neither your preferred brand nor both crunchy and smooth options. Heartbreaking.

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If you’re dreaming of a sequel to the cult hit movie Napoleon Dynamite you’ll just have to go on dreaming, because chances are Napoleon, and his little politician pal Pedro, aren’t coming back to the big screen anytime soon.

However, if you're wondering what Pedro and Napoleon will look like when they're all grown up wonder no more:

It looks like our unlikely heroes are still best buds, and their unique taste in fashion hasn't changed much either, but how did the future incarnations of two fictional characters find themselves waiting in line at a Subway restaurant, circa 2014?

It probably has something to do with extraterrestrial ligers....

-Via Cheezburger

There’s been a bit of internet chatter lately about the seemingly never-going-away songs about women who are “beautiful but don’t know it.” I highly recommend Arianna Rebolini’s essay on the subject over at BuzzFeed, as well as Rebecca Traister’s latest at The New Republic, which also addresses it in part.

The general consensus is that songs like John Legend’s “You and I,” or Bruno Mars’s “The Way You Are” or One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful”–all songs about telling women “who don’t know how beautiful they are” about how beautiful they are–are, as Rebolini puts it, “the equivalent of a paternalistic pat on the head, and it assumes, requires, and reinforces the idea that those women don’t know this already.”

The idea that a beautiful woman’s best quality is her obliviousness to the fact that she is beautiful is pretty insulting. If anything, we should be cheering women who continue to believe that they are beautiful despite a long-running campaign to make us feel like we look like monsters in order to sell us more shit.

As much as it seems as though these men are writing these songs in order to undo the damage done by our media and advertising industry, as much as the man writing that idiot article in Esquire about how 42-year-old women are OK to bang now may think they’re doing us a favor, they’re also setting us up in another trap.

They are not talking about women whom they would actually consider physically unattractive. They are talking about women who meet impossible beauty standards while making it look like they’re not trying, and ideally, having an unhealthy dose of low self-esteem to keep her in line.

Personally, I think this is more about male self-esteem than female self-esteem. When a man talks about wanting a woman who is “beautiful but doesn’t know it”–what they are saying, essentially, is that they want a woman who is really hot, but is so oblivious to this fact that she won’t consider herself out of his league, or cheat on him. It’s about him having possession over her. The only one who can see her as she wants to be seen, and for that, she will remain grateful.

If you’ve ever heard an exchange between some fellas along the lines of “She’s hot”…”Yeah, but she knows it.” You can see where I’m getting this from. Because not only are women supposed to drive themselves bonkers adhering to impossible beauty standards, they are supposed to make it look effortless. They are supposed to hide all these things away from you, and assure you that no matter how hard she tries, she never feels like she succeeds. She will be grateful, so grateful to you, for making her feel beautiful.

It’s worth it to note how many of these songs push the “Oh, stop wearing make-up!” line. Have you ever had a friend whose boyfriend pushed her to stop wearing make-up and stop getting dressed up? Surely there was a part of you that thought “Well, this is his way of making sure she’s taken off the market!” And it is. It’s a way of exerting power and possession.

Most female stereotypes are fairly damaging to begin with. I’ve always been least fond the “Girl Next Door” thing–because fuck you, who are you to say I don’t have neighbors just because I’m glamorous? I totally have neighbors. The girl-next-door is wholesome, like Mary Ann or Betty, and oh, how she would blush if she had any idea her cut-off shorts and gingham shirt were giving you a boner!

A “lady on the streets, freak in the sheets” is for the man who wants to have his virgin-whore dichotomy cake and eat it too. Someone who will make him look good out in public, and also indulge his cake-sitting fetish.

Then, of course, there’s the vamp, the femme fatale. While a woman who is made beautiful by a man’s loving gaze is of course acceptable and wholesome, the most evil women throughout the history of media have always been the ones who knew they were beautiful without having been given a man’s permission.

There is a long and storied media history of “evil” women using their beauty to exert power over men, manipulate them or to destroy their lives. Stories of women with fabulous self-confidence who are not either evil or self-destructive in some way are few and far between. In fact, the only ones I can think of are in films and books without major romantic plots.

There is a major difference between “beautiful but doesn’t know it” and “beautiful but has things going on otherwise and doesn’t make the pursuit of beauty her entire life” and the difference is that in the latter, we are not cherishing a woman’s ignorance, and we are not suggesting that her beauty is fully reliant on a man’s perception of her.

Like I said before, like everything else, it’s a trap. A trap designed to confuse women by requiring that they must be beautiful, but not vain, sexy but not a slut, that they must always carefully walk a tightrope of elusive perfection. You know what though? Women have enough freaking traps as it is, and we don’t need another one, please and thank you.

Take a look at several domesticated mammal species and you might spot a number of similarities between them, including those cute floppy ears.

Read more...

The Case for CDs -- as CD sales continue to plummet, Grantland's Steven Hyden takes a "glass-half-full perspective" on those numbers, discusses format nostalgia, and the five types of albums that justify the continued existence of CDs.

Just last week, it was reported that CD sales in the first half of 2014 fell 19.6 percent from the first half of 2013.2 Last year, CD sales represented 57.2 percent of total album sales, which was 10.4 percentage points lower than 2011, when CDs were already in steep decline.

This may sound like the death rattle of a medium, but I prefer taking a glass-half-full perspective: Can you believe that CDs still account for even that many album sales? It's like discovering that Hollywood is secretly subsidized by VHS hoarders. Apparently there are at least a few people like me still out there: In the past six months, 62.9 million CDs were sold, nearly 10 million more than the 53.8 million downloaded albums. It might be a far cry from the 70.3 billion songs that were streamed during the period, but it's also a hell of a lot more than "nobody."

Music sales, in context: Business Insider provided some corrected charts in 2011 (previously), as the original eye-catching chart was not adjusted for inflation or population, and some other were corrected or clarified. Unfortunately, this is the hopeful period before digital music sales started to decline in 2013. And as Tiny Mix Tapes noted, the sales numbers for physical albums are taken from a few major retailers, while digital numbers are carried by and large by iTunes and Amazon, so there's not a solid 1:1 correlation between the charts.

The return of cassettes: In January 2012, All Music Guide writer Fred Thomas posted the first All Tape Guide blog post to AMG, focusing on an individual tape-focused label with each post. The first was Teen River, and the second blog post was on Burger Records (Bandcamp), who were mentioned in Hyden's article, and are notable for having sold over 80,000 tapes between 2007 and 2012.

The sounds from the article: individual songs, or complete albums on YouTube, no playlists for easy jumping around between tracks.

"... hearing "Lodi" with pops and crackles feels appropriate"

• CCR - "Lodi" on vinyl

"Those records demand to be played on tape, preferably on a boom box that was purchased in the electronics section of a department store that went out of business in 1993"

• Young MC's Stone Cold Rhymin (Wikipedia; not on YouTube in full)
• Fine Young Cannibals' The Raw & The Cooked (full vinyl album)
• Adam Sandler's They're All Gonna Laugh At You!

The albums that will always be remembered on CD, like "a lost piece of data tucked inside scarcely used multidisc changers and laundry baskets full of shit leftover from collegiate apartments"

• Green Day's Dookie
• The Beastie Boys' Check Your Head
• Beck's Odelay
• Smashing Pumpkins' Siamese Dream
• Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville
• Slayer's Seasons in the Abyss

The kinds of albums that still make sense on CD:
1. Albums that make 79 minutes feel like a (mostly enjoyable) eternity - example: Tool's Lateralus, which "must be played on a CD player located on the opposite side of the room from where you are seated, presumably after you have been immobilized by an oversize turkey sandwich or horse tranquilizers. Only then can the greatness of this record be revealed."

Anti-example: Wilco's Being There, which would have fit onto one CD, but was split into two, "consciously presented as a CD that wants to be a vinyl record"

2. Albums that utilize sketches, between-song musical interludes, or other interstitial material -- "A good case study in how changing formats have affected the way that art is not only packaged but also actually conceived and created is Kanye West's discography"
2004: The College Dropout (75 minutes long, with an intro track and three skits)
2005: Late Registration (70+ minutes long, with an intro, four skits, and a hidden track)
...
2010: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (~70 minutes long, an exception to the trend to drop skits with its one interlude, "arguably his best album-length statement and worst album to play in a bar")
...
2013: Yeezus (a hair over 40 minutes long, "a record largely experienced by listeners online")

See also: Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle, De La Soul's 3 Feet High and Rising, or any Public Enemy album (example: It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back)

3. Albums with hidden tracks -- examples: Nirvana's Nevermind and Dr. Dre's The Chronic

The CD listening experience exists at the happy medium between these extremes — there's the ritual of putting on a physical disc, but sometimes after having the same album on for more than an hour, your brain needs something to shock it back into consciousness. This is why hidden tracks were invented.

4. Albums that go meta and reference being played on CD -- examples include Jay Z's Hova Song for the lyrics and Tom Petty's Hello, CD Listeners, where Petty pauses the music for a moment in fairness to vinyl and cassette listener.

5. Albums that are Zaireeka -- "I guess it's possible to make a record that can only be wholly heard by playing four audio streams at once. I suppose you could do that with four different vinyl records, too." Zaireeka is the four-CD album from The Flaming Lips that is designed to be played on four stereos at the same time. And of course, someone made a synchronized album and put it on YouTube, and the Flaming Lips did indeed release Zaireeka on vinyl, too, which is also on YouTube. And to go further down the rabbit hole, the Flaming Lips actually made a multi-track spectacular specifically for the digital age, embracing YouTube fully.

"What if Mos Eisley wasn't really that wretched and it was just Obi Wan being racist again?"

Un aportazo de Wotan, que debo confesar que me parece muy raro no haber traído hasta ahora. Antes de empezar con el blog, este comic (al menos el primer volúmen) fue de las primeras cosas que subí para colaborar con una web, pero luego en el blog mismo nunca lo subí… hoy estan los 3 tomos completos. Muy recomendable.

Platón, Sócrates, Epícuro, Diógenes, Alejandrito de Macedonia, Artemisa y el resto del pesamiento y la mitología griega en tres tomos cargados de aventuras, razonamientos brillantes, humor y, por supuesto, drama. Un guión que se explica sin dificultad, acompañado de un dibujo fluído y tres tomos que te dejan con ganas de más. Entretenido y Fácil de leer. Guión: William Messner-Loebs (ha trabajado en Flash, Necronomicon, Wonder Woman, DC One Million, Flinch, Superman...) y Dibujo: Sam Kieth (en Aliens, Marvel Heroes, The Maxx, The Sandman, Lobezno, Superman, Batman, 30 días de noche...).

Epicurus El Sabio, son tres volúmenes pergeñados por Messner-Loebs y Kieth. En ellos se nos narran los problemas que encuentra Epicuro, sabio y filósofo de la edad de oro de la antigua Grecia, para poder crear una escuela propia de pensamiento. Esto, que dicho así suena a todo menos a interesante, se ve salpicado por un par de encargos que le realizan los dioses, ya que el comic asume que dioses y humanos llegamos a compartir territorio e intereses.

Con un dibujo alejado de los cánones habituales de belleza pero tremendamente simpático y un guión ágil y entretenido, vemos un desfile de personajes históricos y no tanto, como un nervioso y recurrente Platón, un sobrado y pasota Sócrates, al altivo Aristóteles, un jovencísimo Alejandro Magno que apunta maneras, al sátiro Zeus que fecunda todo lo que se pone a tiro y una interesante colección de figuras mitológicas y subtramas que configuran un comic interesantísimo..

Idioma: Español.
Editorial: Piranha Press, Norma, Zinco
Guion: William Messner-Loebs
Dibujo: Sam Kieth
Escaneadores: Hellboy2001, Jiman (CRG)
Archivos: 3
Formato: CBR.
Tamaño: 55.4 MB



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• Epicurus El Sabio

«Que a concesionaria da AP-9 provoque os atascos é algo que non podemos aceptar», sentencia el presidente de la Xunta ante las colas veraniegas en la autopista del Atlántico, por las que también se queja a Fomento

• Desoye las demandas de la oposición y critica que esta no hiciese nada gobernando
• La privatización dejó al Gobierno sin bazas ante la concesionaria
• Autopista
• La AP-9 baja de los 20.000 usuarios al día por vez primera desde el 2003

O escritor e xornalista gaña o premio literario convocado polo Concello da Estrada con 'Máscaras rotas para Sebastian Nell', unha "narración dialogada" que a partir do seu protagonista, curtido no Hollywood dos 70 e 80, percorre boa parte da historia recente

Raise a glass to Greg G

Side one

Side two

Pelirroja

por Sabela González

 

ja chega a universidade popular!!!!!….preprara o teu horário, tes moito onde escolher!!!!

do 28 de julho ao 1 de agosto

-programa

Do 28 de julho – 1 de agosto

Segunda 28 julho

18h00 teoria do futebol gaélico. Alexandre Costa

18h30 iniciaçom ao amigurumi . Tareixa  Martinez

19h30 english as a melting pot:outras falas e sotaques. Alfonso Barata

20h00 cozinhar com prantas .Anxo Otero

20h00 Que me acontece nos dedos? Ferramentas para melhorar um tema na gaita
Xan Xove

20h00 práctica do futebol gaélico. Alexandre Costa

Terça 29 julho

18h00 luita galega:da tradiçom à práctica. Severino Gómez

18h00 recomendaçons e primeiras actuaçons de auxílio na infáncia. Berta Alvarez

18h30 falar de comer em francés. Raquel Paz

20h00 elaboraçom de cremes de reposteria. Tareixa Martinez

20h30 direitos laboráis no dia a dia. Rita Giraldez

21h00 iniciaçom aos sistemas de som. Vitor Lourenço

Quarta 30 julho

18h00 história da banda desenhada galega. German Hermida

18h00 vidas sexuadas: a infáncia. Noa Tilve

19h00 cultura e cozinha croata. Natalia Veiga

19h30 linguagem gestual. Tareixa Martinez

20h00 nem ponta,nem tacom!vamos bailar na foliada. Carme Campo

21h00 acçom sindical para dummies. Martin Paradelo

Quinta 31 julho

11h00 como fazer um forno solar. Maria R. Lafuente

18h00 gestom de parelha:como chegar a acordos familiares. Paula Rico

19h00 ajudar a andar:como acompanhar  umha criança nos primeiros passos. Marta Santos

19h00 dicas para desenvolver-se em feiras e circuitos musicais. Aitana Cuétara

20h00 cozinha grega. Dimitra

20h00 como atravesar as ondas sem afogar na técnica . radio kalimera

20h30 comunica o teu colectivo. Aaron L. Rivas e Xoán R.Sampedro

 

Sexta 1 agosto

18h00 iniciaçom a técnica do porteo com pano. Mercedes Martinez

18h30 encadernaçom manual. Helena Sabell

19h30 posturas de ioga para fazer na casa. Ana Caulonga

19h30 como ser reintegracionista sem que a familia saiba. Eduardo Maragoto

20h30 iniciaçom à astronomia sem telescópio. Irene Baspino

 

Conhecendo às arvores de Compostela. Bruno Vilela (data sem confirmar)

 

Preço 2€ curso(3€ nom sócia) ou 10€ bono todos os cursos (12€ nom sócias)

Mais info  gentalha.org

La mujer rebelde: La historia de Margaret Sanger
Autor: Peter Bagge
Editorial: Ediciones La Cúpula
Precio: 16,90 € COMPRAR
108 pgs color, tapa blanda con solapas, 17x22,5 cm.

Edición española de "Woman Rebel: The Margaret Sanger Story" (Drawn & Quarterly)

La mujer rebelde: la historia de Margaret Sanger es la brillante y accesible biografía desbordante de datos y diversión de una inconformista social y política. Con el estilo caricaturesco y elástico al que nos tiene acostumbrados, Bagge nos acerca la vida de esta activista por el control de la natalidad, al tiempo que educadora, enfermera, madre y protofeminista, desde su nacimiento a finales del siglo XIX hasta su muerte, después de la invención de la píldora anticonceptiva. Con un perfecto equilibrio de humor y respeto, Bagge nos presenta a la Sanger más humana, mostrando cómo su causa alimentó un activismo feroz pero también una naturaleza compasiva. La vida de Sanger adquiere una nueva vivacidad a través del vertiginoso retrato creado por Bagge de esta pionera cuyo legado como fundadora de Planificación Familiar es todavía increíblemente relevante, inspirador y significativo.
  

Wotan nos trae algunas obras de Régis Loisel, quien es el autor de la hermosa obra: Peter Pan.
Régis Loisel (4 de diciembre de 1951) es un historietista y dibujante de cómics francés, conocido por ilustrar la serie La búsqueda del pájaro del tiempo (La Quete de l'Oiseau du Temps), guionizada por Serge Le Tendre, y por su versión del clásico de James Matthew Barrie, Peter Pan [wikipedia].

El gran muerto (Integral): ¡Todo estaba previsto para una semana de estudio! ¡Pobre Pauline! Contaba con descansar en el campo y preparar su master en económicas...

Pero la noche cubre el bosque bretón y el "dos caballos" que conduce se queda sin gasolina justo en frente de la casa de Erwan. A veinte kilómetros del pueblo mas cercano.

Erwan le propone compartir su cena y albergarle esa noche bajo su techo. Forzada por las circunstancias, acaba por aceptar.

Erwan es del tipo rural y solitario, y vive rodeado de extraños objetos. Mientras come, lee un viejo libro de magia que trata sobre el "Pequeño Pueblo".

Cínica y ácida, Pauline se rie burlonamente de "esos cuentos" en los que cree Erwan. Pues ignora que ese libro será para ella, el punto de partida hacia otro universo, y que tendrá damáticas consecuencias sobre el suyo. Que nada más será igual para ella después, se va a redescubrir a si misma. Otros dos "ella misma" de hecho...


Fiestas profanas: del monstruo francés Régis Loisel. Dado que dicho libro abunda en pechos y culos ecologistas (o sea, amantes del aire libre), mujeres impúdicas, fornicaciones sin preservativo ni fines reproductivos entre personas cuya unión no ha sido bendecida previamente por cura alguno, y otros actos licenciosos y reprobables, su lectura es altamente recomendable para purpurados, opusdeístas, talibanes, hare-krishnas, mormones, Testigos de Jehová, y, por qué no?, también niñitos avispados de índole inquisitiva [boopogiepe].


Pirinea: Historia sencilla y deliciosa en la que se nos narra la relación entre un oso que se ha escapado de un circo y una niña que quedó huérfana tras un terremoto. La niña será educada por el oso y por un zorro. Pero llegará el día en que tendrá preguntas para las que ellos no tendrán respuesta. Será entonces el momento de que visite al anciano.

Se la ha llegado a comparar con El libro de la selva pero... en los Pirineos.

Idioma: Español.
Editorial: Planeta De Agostini, Norma
Guion: Régis Loisel, Jean-Blaise Djian
Dibujo: Vincent Mallié, Régis Loisel, Sternis
Escaneador: Umbriel (El gran muerto), boopogiepe (Fiestas profanas) (CRG)
Tradumaquetador: nachof, con correcciones de Rickstein (Pirinea) (CRG)
Archivos: 3
Formato: CBR.
Tamaño: 76.8 Mb



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• Loisel - Varios

Santiago acoge 14 días de fiesta con diversas propuestas musicales, escénicas o infantiles

Barbacoa, parrillada y asado son sinónimos de carne a la parrilla. Dependiendo del lugar, pueden ser diferente tipos de carne (pollo, ternera, cordero, cerdo...) e incluso alguna verdura, pero es difícil encontrar una que se salga de la norma. Pero si estas buscando preparar una diferente, aquí tienes siete ideas originales para sorprender en tu barbacoa.

Como adelanto, os puedo contar que vamos a ver una forma muy especial de cocinar la carne, descubriremos también lo que es un matambre al libro y, sobre todo, la cantidad de cosas que podemos cocinar a la parrilla, y que nunca imaginaríamos.

Carne al carbón, para no esperar a las brasas

El otro día, revisando los 11 errores que debíamos evitar a la hora de preparar una barbacoa, dejamos claro que era muy importante esperar a que las brasas estuvieran listas para empezar a asar la carne pero, ¿y si no tenemos ese tiempo o simplemente queremos ir sacando algo de picar? Pues entonces la solución es esta carne al carbón.

La receta y el video son de Alton Brown, ambas en inglés, pero como la receta es extremadamente sencilla, os la cuento:

1. Primero salamos la carne y la dejamos que se temple a temperatura ambiente durante 60 minutos. En el vídeo utiliza un corte, el stirk steak, cuyo equivalente en nuestro despiece es la entraña (gracias a Chus51 por el aporte en los comentarios). Está situado entre la falda y la parte baja de la costilla, correspondiendo a la zona bajo el diafragma del animal.
2. El segundo paso es encender el carbón y, atención, poner la carne directamente sobre el carbón caliente, entre 30 y 45 segundos en cada cara. Como dice Alton en el vídeo, sí, se pegará algo de ceniza, pero nadie ha muerto por comer un poco de vez en cuando.
3. Tras pasar por el carbón, envolvemos la carne en abundante papel de aluminio, y dejamos que se acabe de cocinar en su propio calor durante unos 15 minutos antes de cortarla en tiras (recomienda cortar a contrario de veta) y servirla.

Matambre al libro, para los más famélicos

Creo que nunca he ido a una barbacoa en la que me haya quedado con hambre y no haya sobrado comida, pero si tenéis invitados de esos que cuyo estómago parece no tener fondo, mi recomendación es que preparéis este Matambre al libro, perfectamente explicado por los chicos de Locos por el Asado.

El matambre es una pieza del cerdo que es muy parecida a nuestro secreto, con su abundante grasa entreverada. Esto es una ventaja al cocinarlo a la parrilla, porque hará que quede jugoso. En el vídeo se explica el paso a paso con detalle, pero os lo resumo brevemente:

1. Disponemos la pieza de carne extendida sobre la mesa, con la grasa hacia abajo (para que quede en la cara de fuera del libro)
2. Sobre la carne, colocamos queso mozzarella, pimientos asados, aceitunas, cebolla, tomates secos y albahaca fresca.
3. Doblamos la carne para formar un libro y la cosemos con hilo grueso
4. Asamos la carne a la parrilla con un chorrito de limón, sal y pimienta

Para picar, pepino a la parrilla

El pepino es perfecto para picar en una barbacoa: es fresco, nos entretiene mientras esperamos la carne y no llena. Prepararlo a la parrilla es sencillo, cortamos en gajos (mejor que sean pepinos pequeños), salpimentamos y los pintamos con aceite antes de pasarlos por la parrilla durante 45 segundos.

Después, si queremos que tengan el toque de vinagre de los pepinillos, podemos ponerlos en un bote con vinagre blanco y especias, tapado durante una hora.

La ensalada, también a la parrilla

¿Alguien se come las ensaladas en las barbacoas? Bueno, alguien habrá, pero normalmente se quedan ahí tristes, esperando que alguien les haga caso. Pues bien, si no queréis que esto ocurra, podéis hacer la ensalada también a la parrilla.

La clave está en cortar la lechuga romana por la mitad (a lo largo) y pasarla por la parrilla hasta que queda crujiente por fuera, y tierna por dentro. Luego podemos cortarla y montar una ensalada normal o rellenarla. El resto de ingredientes que queráis poner también podéis probar pasarlos por la parrilla: espárragos, tomates, calabacín... aunque tampoco es necesario.

Bombas de ternera y bacon

Su nombre en inglés es Moink, que responde a la combinación de los sonidos que hacen la ternera (Moo) y el cerdo (Oink), y se trata de albóndigas de ternera recubiertas de bacon y hechas a la parrilla, a menudo regadas luego con salsa barbacoa. Entenderéis por qué las he llamado bombas de ternera y bacon

Limonada a la parrilla

Si, habéis leído bien, limonada la parrilla. ¿Cómo? Bueno pues preparando una limonada con limones que hayamos pasado por la parrilla, lo que hará que se caramelicen y le den un sabor espectacular. Simplemente cortamos los limones por la mitad, los impregnamos de azúcar y los pasamos por la parrilla unos 10 minutos, hasta que empiecen a caramelizar. Luego preparamos la limonada siguiendo la receta habitual.

Cómo no, el postre también a la parrilla

¿Ya hemos hecho toda la carne y aún nos quedan brasas? ¡Genial! Porque también podemos preparar el postre a la parrilla. Y es que a casi cualquier fruta le sienta bien pasar un rato por las brasas. Plátanos, melocotones, sandía... podemos cocinarlos tal cual o añadir un toque de aceite y pimentón, que potenciará el sabor.

Bueno, hasta aquí las siete ideas originales para sorprender en tu barbacoa. Seguro que hay más, porque las posibilidades de este tipo de cocción son muchas, pero estas son las más originales, sabrosas y sorprendentes.

Imágenes | Susy Morris, Mike, Julian y Beatrice A
En Directo al Paladar | Los 9 trucos imprescindibles para convertirte en el maestro de las barbacoas En Directo al Paladar | Las 5 salsas perfectas para sorprender a todos con tu barbacoa

-
La noticia Siete ideas originales para sorprender en tu barbacoa fue publicada originalmente en Directo al Paladar por minue.

“Deja que se te acerque, solo quiere olerte”, insiste el dueño de un tiburón blanco de más de cinco metros de longitud que no entiende la agitación de los vecinos de la localidad de Santa Bárbara, inquietos por la presencia del animal. “Mueve la cola porque está contento”, añade este...... Leer más

Backpacking and hiking can be a fun, relaxing way to spend some quality time outdoors, and every nature lover knows it’s the best way to see critters up close and personal like.

That’s where the trouble begins- getting close to animals that see your presence in their neck of the woods as an intrusion, or a threat.

Bears, snakes, and mountain lions sometimes lash out at uninvited human visitors, and the little guys just love to bite too- spiders, ticks and scorpions are by far the biggest biters of the bunch.

Prepare for what may try to chomp down on you with this fully illustrated infographic created by Backpacker magazine, it’s handy to have around when you’re exploring the great outdoors, and it serves as a colorful reminder of why homebodies like to stay indoors…

-Via Lifehacker

by Bradford Evans

To coincide with the release of his new album Mandatory Fun, "Weird Al" Yankovic did a question and answer session on Reddit, which was full of funny and interesting responses. Yankovic delves into a whole slew of different topics about his career, like how making song parodies is different now than it was 30 years ago, a studio's plans to "make him their new Woody Allen" in the '80s, and why Mandatory Fun might be his final album.

Click through to read some of Yankovic's best responses from yesterday's AMA:

On whether this is his last album or not:

I haven't made any real plans beyond the release of my current album, but since everybody's asking… I'll probably just be releasing singles (possibly EPs) going forward – I really don't think the album format is the most efficient or intelligent way for me to distribute my music anymore. I highly doubt that I would sign with another label. I guess I might be open to a distribution deal, but… we'll see. Anyway, I certainly wouldn't want to have my releases on any kind of a schedule – that would be too much pressure, and it might actually start to feel like a JOB!

On whether musicians have asked him to parody their songs:

That happens sometimes in social settings – an artist will make a comment at a party or awards show like, "Hey Al, when are you going to do a parody of one of MY songs?" I don't know if they're being polite or making conversation, but that's always nice to hear. Actually, last year I was in New York doing a satellite radio tour, and Graham Nash was in the very next room… and it just so happens I had just recorded my CSN pastiche "Mission Statement" (which is on the new album). So I walked over to say hi… he sees me, and the first words out of his mouth are, "So, when are you gonna do a parody of 'Suite: Judy Blue Eyes'??" I whipped out my iPhone and played "Mission Statement" for him. Instant request! (He loved it, BTW.)

On whether he ever worked on another movie script after UHF:

You mean, besides UHF 2 through 8? Hmm… from what I recall, I was just starting to tinker around with another screenplay idea, but I stopped working on it after it became painfully clear that Orion wasn't going to follow through on their promise to "make me their new Woody Allen."

On whether there are any edits in his music video "Tacky":

While it looks like there MIGHT have been an edit somewhere, I absolutely guarantee you, that was all done in ONE CONTINUOUS SHOT. That was a bit of a challenge for me, because I start the video on a 5th floor fire escape, and I reappear on street level wearing completely different clothes. That means – for EVERY TAKE – as soon as the camera was off me I had to run down 5 flights of stairs WHILE CHANGING MY CLOTHES so I could be on camera again at the end. Definitely got my workout THAT day!

On how different his life would have been if his parents got him guitar lessons instead of accordion lessons:

I probably wouldn't have a music career right now. The reason Dr. Demento played my material on the radio when I was a teenager wasn't because it was so GOOD, it was because it was such a novelty hearing a kid rocking the accordion. Dr. D. probably wouldn't have given my tape a second listen if I had been playing acoustic guitar. And if I hadn't gotten that early encouragement, I highly doubt that I'd be doing a Reddit AMA right now.

On how doing song parodies now is different from the '80s/'90s:

The mechanics are pretty much the same, and in fact, because I've been doing it for so long I like to think that I've gotten better at it. The synapses in my brain are hard-wired that way now. The challenge for me is in finding new ways to be funny (i.e. not repeating myself too much), as well as finding ways to differentiate myself from the millions of other people now doing parody videos on YouTube.

On musicians reacting to him asking to parody their songs:

One of my favorite reactions was from Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits. I did a parody of "Money For Nothing" in my movie UHF, and when I asked him for permission, he said, "Well, yeah… but you have to let me play GUITAR on it!!" So…. he did!

I was tickled by Chamillionaire's reaction to "White & Nerdy." I ran into him on the Grammy red carpet a few years ago, right after he had won the award for Rap Song of the Year. He thanked me, because he said my parody made it undeniable that his song ("Ridin'") was, in fact, the Rap Song of the Year!

On doing a parody of Frozen's "Let It Go":

You know what, I was very close to doing a parody called "Make It So" about Star Trek: The Next Generation… but then I checked online, and of course, somebody had done that already. And apparently it had gotten enough attention online to make the Disney legal department ask them to take it down! I couldn't think of an idea that I liked as much as "Make It So," so… I gave up!

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Jon Snow knows nothing, but you can learn everything about the potential secrets of everybody's favorite Stark bastard by watching this fantastic video, which happens to be the best explanation of the "R+L=J" fan theory I've ever seen. Probable spoilers ahead (especially if you're only watching the show)!

Read more...

1. Stop dropping hints

“I have always found it stupid that someone can’t just come out and say what they’re wanting.” You have an important event planned for the 18th? Don’t circle a calendar date on the wall and say you’re going out to buy a dress, then expect him to know. I don’t know many people who actually look at a calendar. He could think you’re just buying a dress because you want a dress. He doesn’t know a dress is for a special occasion. If you want something or you want him to know something, just say “Hey, the event is on the 18th.” Being straightforward is nothing to be afraid of. As a side note, don’t assume he’s going with you and don’t tell him he’s going with you. He’s his own man, he can decide if he wants to go or not.

2. Don’t ask him questions if you don’t want the truth

“You can’t win with these things!” I don’t know how often this happens but I hear women on my campus crying that her boyfriend told her she looked a little chubby in that outfit when SHE ASKED HIM. Don’t ask a question you do not want the answer to. You’ll leave him if he lies about it and you go out looking horrible, but you’ll go insane about the truthful answer, cry, and then leave him, telling him he’s a jerk. Basic rule: Don’t ask the question, if you would not be able to handle the possible negative response.

3. Stop expecting him to know you

I see this issue a lot. “I’m not a ******* mind reader!” You can be with someone for years and not truly know them. Do you really want to be with someone, if you know every move they will make, every thought they will ever think, or every word they will say? That is what they mean by don’t expect them to know you. So when it comes time for an argument and he doesn’t know what he did wrong, don’t expect him to know just because he knows you. Nine times out of ten, once you explain what’s wrong, he’ll realize it and say he’s sorry. Don’t expect him to know that you’re tired and you want him to rub your feet. Don’t expect him to know that you need something in particular. If you need it then say it.

4. Stop feeling like you don’t have to look decent

“I’m not saying sleep in lingerie, wear makeup, dress sexy, and put on a show for me every day.” Here is what I think he was trying to say. Take the hair rollers out when you get up. Let your hair down. Brush it for a grand total of five seconds and wash your face. Put on clothes that you would wear in public once you’re out of bed. Simple. It’s nothing fancy but at least he gets to see you underneath all the hair accessories and large clothing. It is perfectly fine to get comfortable around him because he got comfortable around you, but don’t expect someone not to feel betrayed when you dress up to go out but at home you look like a homeless person.

5. Don’t tell him what he can or cannot do

“As soon as she says ‘vegetarian’ I walk away!” Many, many, many men love meat but say this man gets this girlfriend that he really likes and she is a vegetarian. Suddenly, what he likes doesn’t matter. She forces him to change his whole life to fit hers. He has to start running with her every morning, eating food he doesn’t like, go to the gym with her, and hear lectures about what the food he loves does to his body. It is great if you want your boyfriend to be healthy but don’t force it on him! He’s a grown man, he knows whether he’s unhealthy or not. Do any women like the idea of their boyfriend forcing them to stop running in the morning, stop going to the gym, stop eating their healthy food, and sit with him on the couch, eating meat? So if he can’t force you to change, don’t force him to change.

6. Waiting on them to break up with you

“I’m not in high school anymore.” I can’t begin to tell you how immature it is to wait for someone to break up with you. If you want the relationship to end then just end it. He may not know that anything is wrong. Don’t make someone think something is still going on when it’s really over.

7. Waiting to be asked out

“I didn’t know you was interested. Don’t get mad at me because you were sitting there twiddling your thumbs!” We’re not living in the old times and you can’t sit around because you’re waiting to be asked out anymore. If you really like that guy and he hasn’t asked you out yet, then ask him out. He might have thought he was in the friend zone so he didn’t bother asking. There could be many reasons why he didn’t ask you out. Get out of the 40s and step into the present.

8. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”

“Bull ******* ****!” The second you say that, the friendship is ruined. You may think that’s a nice way to let him down gently but it isn’t. The friend zone is considered cruel and unusual punishment. If he asks you out, just say no. It’ll crush him a little bit, but he’ll get over it. He’ll have a harder time getting over being told that being friends with you for so long is the only reason he can’t be with you. When you say no, don’t say, “I see you as a brother,” don’t say ‘I only see you as a friend,” and don’t say “I don’t want everything to change.” Just say no and that you don’t feel that way towards him.

9. Don’t claim to be something you’re not

“It’s like getting a grapefruit when I wanted an orange.” A guy doesn’t like a girl who claims she likes sports and then while he’s watching the game, she’s waiting for it to be over. A guy doesn’t like a girl who claims she can game but as soon as he gives her a controller, she acts like it’s a foreign sex machine and is waiting for him to be done playing. Guys understand that girls don’t always like those kind of things and they tend to be fine with it. While he’s playing his game, you can do whatever you want. While he’s watching the game, you can do something you like. You can’t be perfect for him. You can’t share in absolutely every aspect of his life. Accept that, and move forward.

10. Don’t try to too hard to take an interest in his hobbies

“I hate to say it but, back off my stuff. This is guy time.” He may like things and you’ll try to like it too. The problem is you’re bored out of your mind with it. Still you try to stick through it to make him happy. That’s nice of you but just drop the act. Most men will just appreciate that you tried to do something he liked. Sometimes, they want their hobbies to just be their hobbies. You say you want to try to do that with him and he might dread what’s to come. Sometimes that hobby is a way for them to some form of space. Let him have it. If he wants you involved, he’ll most likely ask you. Don’t take it personally. It’s just nice to have something that’s just your own.

11. For the love of God, stop texting and calling him all the time!

“Obsessive much?” When you send a text message and he doesn’t respond, he might be busy. Sixteen more messages does not change that he’s busy. If he’s texting you back and you’re having a conversation, don’t send him four more texts before he can reply to your first one. It comes off as beyond needy and desperate. You text him fifteen times before he replies, call him fifty times a day, and say he’s ignoring you constantly, then you’re just asking to get dumped. You just became the psycho girlfriend that hides in the tree next to his house to see what he’s doing.

12. Stop saying “But I love him!” to justify your relationship

“They always go for jerks then cry on my damn shoulder!” Sometimes the guy is just a jerk. When you send him a message and he takes a few days to respond with only a few words and doesn’t even apologize for it, then he’s a jerk. If you have to ask if he’s using you for sex, then he’s probably using you for sex. If you cry because he’s constantly insulting you then he’s no good. If he cheats on you and crushes the very essence of your soul, he’s no good. Even if you love this man, it doesn’t mean you need him. Loving someone doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Loving someone doesn’t obligate you to stay with him.

13. Stop spreading your legs and then expect people to not say you’re easy

“If you’re gonna give it up easy then I’m gonna expect it easy.” If you’re the type of person to sleep with someone on the first date, have a one night stand on the regular basis, or just have sex with some guy you hardly know, don’t expect him to see you as a classy lady. He sees you as free and easy sex. You don’t start with sex and expect the serious and loving relationship to come up after it. You start with sex, you end with sex. That is all you will be them. If you’re extremely lucky, you’ll meet the guy who actually does want something more. Good luck with that. When this man comes up to you again, don’t get upset that he’s only there for more sex because a woman who wants a meaningful relationship actually strays from sex in the beginning.

14. Slapping

“If that bitch puts her hands on me one more time!” You’re out meeting his friends and you’re all having a good time. Your boyfriend says something that is absolutely hilarious, so you laugh then you turn around and slap him. He says something a little naughty so you slap him for being a bad boy. Maybe he flirts with you and you slap him to be playful. This is unacceptable. Unless the guy likes the whole S&M/dominatrix thing, he doesn’t like being slapped in the face all the time. He’s a grown man in an abusive relationship and like it or not, it’s abuse. If a man did the same thing, he’d be in jail. People tend to hate being slapped around so keep your hands off him.

15. Don’t hold something against him that you already talked to him about

“What is this? The Grudge?” Let’s say he’s doing something that really upsets you. You talk it out with him and work it all out, but you’re still upset about something. You still have some issues. If you have issues, you talk to him about it when you’re talking it out with him. The point of talking it out is to get it all out in the open. So when you hold back something and you’re upset that he’s doing something, he doesn’t understand what’s wrong! He thought you worked it out and everything was fine! A year later you bring it up in an argument that has nothing to do with it and he’s just baffled! If you have a problem, get it out in the open. Don’t sit on it and let it brew.

16. Stop being so insecure

“I’m here aren’t I?” If you don’t like yourself, take comfort in the fact that he likes you. If you have a great guy, don’t bring him down by constantly questioning every aspect of your body and personality. If he tells you that you’re beautiful then accept it. He tells you that you’re a great person then accept it. He obviously likes something about you for him to stay around. Knowing this, don’t sit there and cry that he’s going to leave you for someone better all the time because if you keep it up, he just might. At that point, he may care for you dearly but good lord you’re depressing.

17. Stop being suspicious of him

“I thought about changing my mom’s name to Roxanne in my phone.” Stop constantly telling him that you know he’s cheating on you. Stop going through his phone, smelling his clothes, hiding in his trunk, following him, and sending people to spy on him for you. Don’t demand the password for all of his accounts or check his email when he’s gone. If your relationship has gotten to that stage then go ahead and leave. If you are really that positive that he is cheating on you then why the hell are you still with him? What I’d like to know is, what do you do if you catch him? Do you leave? The worst part about all that suspicion that the guy may be innocent and you ruined your relationship for your insecure reasons. Some very stupid guys will cheat just because you give them a reason to.

18. Stop finding every excuse to avoid sex

“You’re obviously not interested in me anymore.” A guy may understand that you don’t always want to have sex but is it really so bad for you to at least try to do it for them once a week? Don’t watch a show with him and as soon as a sex scene comes up, try to imply that you’re not in the mood. Don’t complain about a horrible headache ten minutes before you normally go to bed to avoid it. Don’t reject every advance he makes then get mad when he gets frustrated. Yes, it is true that men do not need sex, but don’t expect him not to wonder what he could have if he strayed away. No, I am not justifying cheating, I am justifying him feeling that he may need to find another woman. You cut him off of sex and expect him to be perfectly fine? No, that will not happen. They are going to want it and they are going to try to get it. You keep rejecting them, they’ll wonder why they should even stay. It is true that a relationship should not revolve around sex but sex should be at least a part of it.

19. Stop thinking that sex is the answer to everything

“I have a ******* brain! You think I’m gonna forget because you’re sexy?” Despite popular belief, a man is not a mountain of sexual energy. He is not a meat head that will forget everything that is wrong in the world when a pair of boobs is flashed in front of him. When you do something wrong, don’t just think that you can spread your legs and he’ll forget all about it. Don’t think that he’s always going to be in the mood when you are. Don’t treat him like a mindless sex crazed puppet. They’re not stupid.

20. Don’t tell him not to do something then do it yourself

“How come you can do it?” This can be something simple or something big. If you tell a guy that he can’t tickle you but then you turn around a tickle him, you come off as a hypocrite. If you tell him not to do something and then you do it, it’s almost like a slap to the face. It’s one of those, “I can do it but you can’t,” things. Just have the courtesy not to do something if you don’t want him to do it either. It’s the classic “Threat others how you want to be treated” rule.

21. STOP TRYING TO FIX HIM

“Get a job if you wanna fix something!” You don’t jump into a relationship and expect to be able to fix the man. Oh does he have no job, no high school diploma, no GED, no work experience, no license, no place to live, no money, and to top it off he doesn’t care that he has none of those things? Ok don’t get into the relationship just so you can change all of that about him. A man is not a project to be worked on. He can work on fixing those things himself. If he doesn’t want to fix those things about himself then ditch him. If you have this absolute jerk that is abusive, trifling, and all around one of the worst men in the world, don’t stay with him because you want to change him into a better person. If you think you can save the relationship because you have hopes that you can change him then why be with him? What’s the point of being with someone you have to change when you can be with someone you don’t need to change at all? Men are not moldable pieces of clay so don’t feel like you have the right to force them to change. Would you stay if they were trying to change you? Would you want them to try to change you? No. You get sassy and say “I’m never going to let a man change who I am!” So why are you trying to do it to him?

22. Get off his Facebook

“What are the repercussions for blocking my girlfriend?” A guy doesn’t mind if you comment on a post of his or two. You can even comment on a picture of him but don’t post “I love you” and mushy love crap on his wall all the time. Don’t comment on every thread that has anything to do with him with how much you love him. Don’t mention him in every post you make so it tags him. Once again, this makes you out to be the stalker that’s hiding underneath his car to get a look at him. Great, you love him but seriously do you have to make yourself out to be overly obsessive? Do you do it just so other people will know that you love him? There’s no point in that. You have nothing to prove to anyone else.

23. Don’t give the silent treatment

“I’m not going to talk about it later if you give me the cold shoulder now.” First of all, ANYONE who gives the silent treatment is extremely immature. If you’re mad at him about something, fine, but don’t sit there and ignore him because of some disagreement. You don’t care to talk to him then maybe he doesn’t care to stay with you. Ignoring someone is the most childish way to handle a situation. Talk to him about it, don’t yell at him about it, and don’t just ignore him until he leaves you alone.

24. Don’t continue with an argument when he doesn’t want to talk about it

“Just let it go!” If you’re having a disagreement and he just says, “Let’s not talk about this, it’s getting out of hand,” don’t keep bring it up. Unless this argument is something that will make or break the relationship, don’t keep throwing it in his face. This makes you look like you enjoy the drama. It makes you look like you can’t handle him having the last word. Some arguments are just not worth it and can easily be resolved if you just drop it. Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with just dropping something.

25. Don’t hold his past wrong doings over his head

“Do you understand what the word ‘forgive’ means or did you just say it and thought it would work later?” Did he do something in the past and you can’t let it go? If you can’t let it go then let go of the relationship. Personally, I don’t understand women who forgive men who cheat, but if you do forgive him, don’t hold it over his head. Holding it over his head is not forgiving him. So when you’re having a fight and you yell that he cheated on you so you can win, who’s the real loser there? Is it the man who thought the situation had been worked through or the woman who won’t let it go because now she has leverage? When you yell out of nowhere that he cheated on you, doesn’t that mean you can’t accept anything he does because at one point in time, he cheated on you? If it still bothers you, you’re not over it so don’t tell him you forgive him and then later on you’re crying on the ground because of something he did in the past.

26. Don’t ask him to do things that you wouldn’t do for him

“Screw you bitch!” This can have to do with sex or just favors in general. If you ask him to get you some water while he’s up but when he asks the same you tell him to get it himself, you’re being irrational. If you want oral sex performed on you but you won’t do it for him, you’re being a hypocrite. When you want him to make you something to eat but if he asks you to heat something up for him and you won’t do it, you’re being a hypocrite. If you won’t do it for him, don’t expect him to do it for you.

27. Don’t complain about him to your friends/family

“Now I look like the guy who throws kittens in the lake!” If you have a problem with him, the last thing you need to do is cry to your friends and family about it. Yes, it’s good to talk to someone on the outside to get feedback but you have to realize that they’re YOUR friends and family. They’re going to be biased and so are you. You’re going to make him out to be a bad guy when he isn’t. You want to talk to someone on the outside about it? Ok, bring him with you so he can give his side. Don’t run hysterically to a friend and make him out to be this bastard when you could very well be the one wrong here. It causes more drama than it needs to. Yes, I get it, they’re close to you but they don’t have to know everything about your relationship. Some things you can just work out on your own without having other people involved.

28. Don’t expect him to lose his friends

“I don’t deal with no controlling bitch.” If he had friends before he even met you, you have no business telling him he can’t have those friends anymore. Even if he gets new friends that you don’t like, don’t try to force him to get rid of them. You don’t have to like his friends and he doesn’t have to like your friends. He also doesn’t have to be approved by your “bestie.” If you don’t like his friends, the situation is as simple as don’t bother with them. If he has women that are friends, don’t constantly try to pry your way into his conversations with her because that’s you being insecure. If you don’t like a man having women as friends then don’t be with the man who has women as friends. If you have a real man, it will be nothing to worry about.

29. There isn’t always a hidden message

I mean what I ******* said. How the hell did you twist it into that?” Let’s say you do your hair and he comes in and says, “Your hair looks pretty today.” That doesn’t mean your hair isn’t pretty every other day. It just means that he noticed you changed your hair today and it looks pretty. Don’t pull messages out of what he says and say that’s what he meant. Men tend to be very straight forward and don’t hide behind certain phrases. When he asks if you need a new pair of shoes, he’s not saying your shoes are ugly and you need new ones. When he says that something you wear looks strange, it doesn’t mean that you yourself look strange. Here’s a general rule. If you have to ask,” Are you saying that I’m ____?” or “You meant to say that I’m ____ didn’t you?” then you are pulling hidden messages out of what he said. When he says you’re cute, adorable, sensitive, or kind, you don’t have to go ask people what it means. It doesn’t have a hidden meaning. It means what the words mean.

30. Stop wanting him to beg for you back

“Bitch, you aren’t that great.” Many women seem to love it when a guy wants them back. It makes them feel so special and important. If you are using another man to make him jealous, you’re being a childish brat. If you’re flirting with him but reject him when he tries to ask you out, you’re being childish. When you are intentionally trying to make him want you just so you can feel good about yourself, you’re being a child. Get over yourself. You’re not such a prize and stop using men to make yourself feel like one!

31. Stop breaking up with him every time there’s an argument

“You get mad if we argue, you get mad if we just say you’re right so you’ll shut it. Make up your mind!” No relationship is perfect. You will have an argument no matter how happy you are. So if you break up every single time there’s an argument, maybe you aren’t old enough to be in a relationship. Your relationship is not going to be perfect like in the romance novels or romantic movies you watch. You aren’t going to have a picture perfect relationship where you never fight or have a disagreement. If you aren’t ready to have disagreements, then stay single.

32. Don’t play hard to get

“I don’t have time for games. I’m looking for something real.” I find it immature to play hard to get because you’re just playing around with his feelings. Don’t expect men to chase you all the time. You’re not that great of a catch. At some point, he’s going to give up the chase and find a woman who isn’t acting like a little girl. I’m not saying go out there and be easy. I’m saying don’t expect him to chase you because you’re the woman. Nowadays, there’s no guarantee that the chase will be worth it so guys tend to learn when they need to give up and move on.

33. Don’t leave him hanging

“I don’t know what those girls would have you doing.” If you’re going out with the girls and you say you’ll call him, actually do it. Don’t leave him sitting there wondering where you are and if you’re ok. If you say you’re going to be home at a certain time, actually make the effort to be home at that time. Anyone can understand forgetting but at a certain point, he’s going to try to contact you. If he does, answer him. Also, make the effort to just keep in contact with him. Don’t ignore his messages or his attempts to contact you. If you’re one of those girls who is attached to her phone, do you realize how insulted he will be when he texts you and you don’t text back. How about when he messages you on Facebook and it says you read it but you do not reply. If he’s your boyfriend, try to pay some attention to him.

34. Don’t expect him to like what you like

“You do realize I’m not a male version of you right?” He is his own person. He isn’t going to like everything that you like. Don’t expect him to want to be involved in every aspect of your life. Don’t expect him to know about everything you’re involved with. People forget and people can get things mixed up. Even if he does know what you do, that doesn’t mean he’s going to love it. Don’t expect him to have a desire to be involved in your book club or your debate. If you talked to a random person, they may not be interested in those things. Maybe he isn’t quite interested in them either. He has no obligation to be interested just because you’re in a relationship.

35. Defend him like you want him to defend you

“If I made your little friend cry you would bitch me out.” Have you ever been out and someone was being an ass to you? One of his friends offended you or said something slightly inappropriate about you? When he jumped in to defend your honor and made those guys leave you alone, didn’t you feel loved? Do the same for him. If your friends are bad mouthing him, defend him. Don’t let people insult him because if he says something back to your friends, he’s the asshole that’s mean to women. You shouldn’t want anyone being mean to your boyfriend. You love him so make sure he knows you don’t think the way they do of him.

36. Just accept that he won’t always put the seat down

“Just kick it.” I know it is an issue for us when we go into the bathroom and we fall into the toilet. He may not want to admit it, but when he goes in there to take a dump, he might fall in too. I know it’s simple for them to put it back down when they’re done but it’s also simple for us to look before we sit. I only put this on the list because I’ve dealt with this for years and it is much easier to just ask him to try to remember to put it down but if he forgets, I’ll put it down myself.

37. Don’t bring something up then say “nothing”

“I bet if I did it, she’d never get to sleep.” There aren’t many things that will drive him crazy as much as when you say something and if he didn’t hear you the first time, you say “nothing.” The only time they might not be annoyed by that is when you say it four or five times and they still don’t hear you. Just repeat it at least once or twice so they can hear it.

38. After a while the joke isn’t funny anymore

“She tried.” This applies to a few situations. If one of you tells a joke and it becomes an inside joke with you two, after a while, it isn’t as funny as it used to be. If he says something funny and you don’t hear it the first time, after he repeats it so many times, it isn’t funny anymore. Don’t become psychotic and try to make him tell you. If he has to explain the joke to you multiple times, it isn’t funny and he’s not going to want to say it anymore. When he’s irritated while he’s explaining it to you, you aren’t going to laugh when you understand it. You’re both pretty much going to sit there in silence.

39. Try to tone down being cute

“I feel like a child molester.” It’s one thing to be a cute girlfriend but it’s another thing when you’re trying to be cute all the time. It gets old really fast. If you want to do something cute, do it every once in a while. Don’t make him feel like he’s raising a child instead of having a lovely companion.

40. Explore new areas in sex, don’t get dull

“I know they say that good relationships don’t need spice but there’s nothing wrong with something new.” Sometimes a guy doesn’t want to have sex because it’s just going to be another night of missionary. Do something exciting every once in a while. Talk to him so he can do the same. Don’t completely rule out anything if you haven’t tried it. Haven’t tried a new position? Try it tonight. Haven’t tried foreplay? Try it tonight. Haven’t tried a little tease? Try it now. I’m not saying make yourself open for a threesome. Keep it reasonable.

41. Your ex is your ex, so don’t talk about him

“Thank you for letting me know where I stand.” No one wants to sit there and hear about the man that you used to wrap your legs around. Don’t talk about what he would do for you and don’t compare your current boyfriend to your ex. If you do that then you aren’t over your ex and you need to step out of any relationship until you can get over him. You’d feel inadequate if he was comparing you to his ex or talking about her all the time.

42. It’s his money, don’t expect him to spend it all on you

“I got stuff to buy too. It’s not all about you!” Just because you’re a woman, doesn’t mean he has to buy you things. Can you say gold digger? Women can work in this century so get a job and buy your own things. If he wants to get you something, let him get it. If not, don’t expect him to get you anything you want. If he already tells you that he doesn’t have much money, don’t expect him to spend what little he has on you. Don’t ask him if he’ll get you something once he gets the money. This will make you come off as materialistic and money grubbing.

43. Don’t stereotype him as the stupid man

“Guess that Dr. in front of my name means nothing to you.” Men are very often stereotyped as idiots that cannot work a stove without blowing up the house. We treat the men like we have things going on that their tiny minds cannot understand. We treat them like they’d live off frozen dinners if we weren’t around to cook for them. This isn’t true. I’m not saying there aren’t men like that but don’t you think it’s insulting to be thought of that way? You don’t want to be thought of as the weak and frail woman that can’t survive unless he’s there to protect you so don’t think of him as the dumb man that can’t cook without burning down the home.

44. It was just a dream, get over it!

“You mean to tell me I get **** because you went to sleep!” Whether the dream was about your wedding or him cheating, realize that it was just a dream. If you get mad at him because you had a dream that he was cheating on you then you are one of the stupidest women in this world. He can’t control what you have a dream about. I had a dream my boyfriend ate a doorknob but I don’t think he actually did it! Having a dream that you got married to him is nice but don’t think it means your relationship is ready for that step. Dreams are dreams. They can express a desire or just be extremely weird. Don’t think your dreams have this cosmic meaning that predict the future.

45. Don’t give ultimatums

“Or else? I’d like to see your face when I don’t give in.” If you give an ultimatum, you’re saying “If I don’t get what I want, I’m leaving. What I want is the only thing that matters. This relationship is only about what I want.” If you would dangle your relationship over his head then how seriously do you take it? Most of the time, ultimatums are about marriage. Marriage is a big step so if you’re ready then great but that doesn’t mean you have to force him to be ready as well. Do you want to marry someone who was forced into it? Do you want to marry someone who isn’t ready to be married but he’s only doing it because his controlling girlfriend threatened to leave if she didn’t get what she wanted? Instead of giving ultimatums, talk it out. If a compromise can’t be reached, maybe it’s time to leave.

46. If he has something planned, don’t interrupt it

“You knew about this for a week and suddenly you’re needy?” If your boyfriend has this big game night planned with his friends, don’t try to push your way into it. You don’t always have to be included. Unless you’re invited to it, don’t get involved and don’t get mad that you’re not invited. Not everything is about you and he doesn’t have to make everything about you. Don’t call in the middle of it just because you want to chat or see what he’s doing. If he plans something then you go plan something.

47. Try not to demand too much attention

“It feels like there’s a leech on me 24/7.” I understand he may be busy sometimes and you want to see him but when you’re constantly whining that he isn’t spending enough time with you, you’re just making him not want to spend any time with you. Some people have lifestyles that are busier than others. Unless he’s going out with his friends every night and ignoring you, you really don’t need to cry that you don’t get enough attention. Take what you can get, talk to him about it, or move on. Don’t have this false sense of deserving attention. Yes, you’re his girlfriend and if the time he has isn’t enough for you then move on. You see this a lot when people have jobs as surgeons or cops. They have busy jobs that cannot be put on hold because their significant other is whining.

48. There’s no such thing as a two week anniversary

“Wow a whole week! Wait. Is it a business week or a regular week?” The word anniversary means once a year. It is from the word annual which literally means once every year! So when you’re crying that he forgot your two week anniversary or two month anniversary, he’s probably going to be sitting there thinking you’re an idiot. The worst part is, if you’re upset about that then you are an idiot. Celebrating being together for two weeks makes it seem like your relationships don’t last long so every week is a milestone. When he doesn’t remember the two week, the one month, or the eight month anniversary, don’t get upset as it was a stupid thing to celebrate anyway.

49. Get over your ex

“Don’t worry, I’m fine. I’ll just pick up my soul on the way out.” This is a constant issue now. People will claim their over their ex and they don’t care what they do but as soon as their ex moves on, they flip out. You’re over your ex as long as he’s single and still wants you. Grow up. You’re over your ex as long as he doesn’t find someone before you find someone. Grow up. You’re over your ex as long as he’s not as happy as you are. Grow up. Don’t yell you’re over him when he’s the first thing you think about in the morning or if you’re constantly checking in on him. You can’t move on if you’re checking his Facebook or asking his friends questions.

50. When a breakup happens, be mature about it

“I have to change my number after every breakup. No joke. This is my sixth phone number.” It happens. Relationships don’t work sometimes and it ends in a breakup. When that happens, don’t be childish and go for low blows. Don’t ask why, don’t ask his friends why, don’t ask your friends why. Just accept it. Don’t have your friends call him and don’t call him from restricted numbers. Don’t throw how your ex was better in his face or how he could never satisfy you. No matter how immature he’s being to you, you don’t need to do the same because when you’re going back and forth with him, you’re just creating a bad break up when it could have just been a breakup.

51. You won’t always get closure

“I’m not going to kiss your booboos.” This one drives me insane. I see women trying to contact their ex because they want him to know how much he hurt her. He doesn’t care! Sometimes they’ll call and try to get in contact with him because they still want to know why he left her. Here’s the reason he left you. You’re obsessive! Sometimes you can’t get the closure you want and you need to learn to accept that. When you’re hurt by someone, you cut them from your life and try to move on. Stop going back to find out why he did what he did or what went wrong.

Sexo en Nueva York es una serie que creó tendencia. De ahí que aún sigue siendo repuesta en canales de todo el mundo y recordada con pasión por sus millones de fans. De la misma forma, claro, sigue siendo odiada por sus abundantes detractores, quienes solo ven en ella un enorme monumento a la más absurda superficialidad (conclusión a la que han ayudado las dos películas que se rodaron tras el final de la serie).

Superficial o no, lo que es innegable es que Sexo en Nueva York resultó la plataforma perfecta para ayudar a vender todo tipo de productos como si tal cosa a un perfil de público consumista y deseoso de ser definido por lo que consume. Y es que el canal productor de esta ficción, HBO, sabe rentabilizar al máximo sus producciones con ventas internacionales, creando iconos constantes y, también, pensando en las marcas comerciales.

Sexo en Nueva york fue un traje a medida para conectar con una audiencia que soñaba con ser Carrie y vivir como Carrie. Y, por supuesto, las marcas se pirraban por estar en boca de Carrie. El efecto de aparecer en la serie multiplicaba en ventas… y potenciaba la aureola de éxito del producto (que se lo digan si no a los zapatos de Manolo Blahnik, por poner un ejemplo). Y la serie lo aprovechaba como seña de identidad. Una sobreexposición comercial que, por cierto, si fuera realizada de igual forma en nuestro país sería criticada a mansalva. Pero no, si lo hace HBO, mola.

¿Cuántas marcas aprovecharon el tirón de Sexo en nueva York? Miles, aunque en realidad también los propios guionistas se aprovecharon de estas marcas para crear ese inconfundible sello de la serie, cuyas cuatro protagonistas también se definían por lo que consumían.

Este vídeo resume, de forma frenética, la telepromoción constante en la que estaba sumida una icónica serie que fue toda una oda al dispendio. Sobredosis de marcas en boca de los protagonistas:

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