nip dip originally appeared on MyConfinedSpace NSFW on July 28, 2014.

"Welcome to The Unbelievable Truth, the panel game show about incredible truths and barely credible lies. I am your host, David Mitchell. The rules are as follows: each panelist will present a short lecture that should be entirely false save for five pieces of true information which they should attempt to smuggle past their opponents – cunningly concealed amongst the lies. Points are scored by truths that go unnoticed while other panelists can win a point if they spot a truth or lose points if they mistake a lie for a truth."

Having recently concluded its 13th series, the show has amassed 81 episodes. For your listening pleasure:

Pilot: 19 October 2006

• Jeremy Hardy, Andy Hamilton, Neil Mullarkey, and Graeme Garden on Hair, Football, Cats, and Bees. episode

Series 1 (2007)

• Episode One: Marcus Brigstocke on coffee, Tony Hawks on cats, Frankie Boyle on Michael Jackson and Neil Mullarkey on beards. one two three
• Episode Two: Alan Davies on Coca-Cola, Clive Anderson on carrots, Jo Brand on Morris dancing and Jeremy Hardy on the human body. one two three
• Episode Three: Alan Davies on the London Underground, Clive Anderson on the Ancient Egyptians, Jo Brand on Queen Elizabeth I and Jeremy Hardy on chickens. one two three
• Episode Four: Sandi Toksvig on George W. Bush, Dara O'Briain on women, Jo Caulfield on ants and Graeme Garden on the Olympic Games. one two three
• Episode Five: Marcus Brigstocke on the Queen, Tony Hawks on bras, Frankie Boyle on hemp and Neil Mullarkey on barcodes. one two three
• Episode Six: Sandi Toksvig on her native Denmark, Dara O'Briain on rats, Jo Caulfield on Prince Philip and Graeme Garden on trousers. one two three

Series 2 (2008)

• Episode One: Phill Jupitus on bears, Tony Hawks on tennis, Alan Davies on bears and Simon Evans on Queen Victoria. episode
• Episode Two: Michael McIntyre on toilets, Fred MacAulay on cows, Graeme Garden on sandwiches and Lucy Porter on giraffes. episode
• Episode Three: Tim Vine on hedgehogs, Adam Buxton on hair, Ed Byrne on kissing and Lee Mack on potatoes. episode
• Episode Four: Phill Jupitus on bears, Tony Hawks on skateboards, Alan Davies on frogs and Simon Evans on William Shakespeare. episode
• Episode Five: Michael McIntyre on pigs, Fred MacAulay on beds, Graeme Garden on Sweden and Lucy Porter on Leonardo da Vinci. episode
• Episode Six: Tim Vine on Napoleon Bonaparte, Adam Buxton on marriage, Ed Byrne on left-handedness and Lee Mack on fleas. episode

The Unbelievable Truth Christmas Special: In this special Christmas edition Graeme Garden on Christmas tree, Jack Dee on Charles Dickens, Armando Iannucci on Father Christmas and Sean Lock on turkeys. episode

Series 3 (2009)

• Episode One: Graeme Garden on bicycles, Chris Addison on Albert Einstein, Clive Anderson on money and Lucy Porter on penguins. episode
• Episode Two: Tony Hawks on dogs, Simon Evans on Iceland, Johnny Vaughan on football and Milton Jones on Prince Charles. episode
• Episode Three: Graeme Garden on China, Chris Addison on the postal service, Clive Anderson on the Moon and Lucy Porter on moustaches. episode
• Episode Four: Jack Dee on smiling, Fred MacAulay on Charles Darwin, Will Smith on cucumbers and Jeremy Hardy on dolphins. episode
• Episode Five: Sue Perkins on Henry VIII, Arthur Smith on cockroaches, Sean Lock on dancing and Miranda Hart on cricket. one two three
• Episode Six: Jack Dee on umbrellas, Fred MacAulay on the brain, Will Smith on alcohol and Jeremy Hardy on cheese. one two three

Series 4 (2009)

• Episode One (Recorded at the 2009 Edinburgh Fringe Festival): Reginald D. Hunter on cats, Shappi Khorsandi on tea, Adam Hills on Adolf Hitler and Rhod Gilbert on golf. one two three
• Episode Two: Clive Anderson on baldness, Henning Wehn on Winston Churchill, Fi Glover on urine and Dom Joly on dwarves. one two three
• Episode Three: Tony Hawks on teeth, Arthur Smith on underpants, Phill Jupitus on the Vikings and Graeme Garden on Birmingham. one two three
• Episode Four (recorded at the 2009 Edinburgh Fringe Festival): Reginald D. Hunter on Julius Caesar, Shappi Khorsandi on kissing, Adam Hills on kangaroos and Rhod Gilbert on milk. one two three
• Episode Five: Clive Anderson on tobacco, Henning Wehn on sausages, Fi Glover on frogs and Dom Joly on Elvis Presley. one two three
• Episode Six: Tony Hawks on Ludwig van Beethoven, Arthur Smith on wigs, Phill Jupitus on honey and Graeme Garden on telephones. one two three

New Year's Special: Rob Brydon on snow, John Lloyd on tax, Stephen Fry on champagne and Alan Davies on tigers. [apparently not available online]

Series 5 (2010)

• Episode One: Lucy Porter, Henning Wehn, Marcus Brigstocke and Graeme Garden discuss Sleep, Beer, Childbirth and Sir Isaac Newton. one two
• Episode Two: Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Phill Jupitus and Catherine Tate talk about Hats, Pigeons, Hairdressers and Admiral Lord Nelson. one two
• Episode Three: Susan Calman, Liza Tarbuck, Fred MacAulay and Charlie Brooker talk about Skiing, Elephants, Chocolate and Cleopatra. episode
• Episode Four: Lucy Porter, Henning Wehn, Marcus Brigstocke and Graeme Garden about Soap, Pudding, Rabbits and the Taxi Cab. one two
• Episode Five: Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Phill Jupitus and Catherine Tate talk about ostriches, toast, spectacles and the colour red. one two
• Episode Six: Fred MacAulay on ducks; Liza Tarbuck lectures on Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; Susan Calman has researched make-up; and Charlie Brooker has the topic of Thomas Edison. one two

Series 6 (2010)

• Episode One: Chris Addison, Susan Calman, Rufus Hound and Armando Iannucci about Henry Ford, biscuits, rain and squirrels. episode
• Episode Two: Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Henning Wehn and Graeme Garden on cake, shoes, nudity and Walt Disney. episode
• Episode Three (Recorded at the 2010 Edinburgh Fringe): Rhod Gilbert, Kevin Bridges, Tom Wrigglesworth and Lucy Porter on spiders, mushrooms, eggs and Edinburgh. episode
• Episode Four: Chris Addison, Susan Calman, Rufus Hound and Armando Iannucci on clocks, funerals, goldfish and Joseph Stalin. episode
• Episode Five: Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Henning Wehn and Graeme Garden on noses, apples, fishing and Lord Byron. episode
• Episode Six (Recorded at the 2010 Edinburgh Fringe): Rhod Gilbert, Kevin Bridges, Tom Wrigglesworth and Lucy Porter discuss bells, donkeys, the police and Mrs Beeton. episode

Series 7 (2011)

• Episode One: Alan Davies, Jack Dee, Marcus Brigstocke and Lucy Porter on Enid Blyton, curry, flies and breasts. episode
• Episode Two: Clive Anderson, Sue Perkins, Henning Wehn and Graeme Garden on dogs, lobsters, Lewis Carroll and the Sun. episode
• Episode Three: Arthur Smith, Tony Hawks, Charlie Brooker and Rhod Gilbert on mice, soup, television and Sir Walter Raleigh. episode
• Episode Four: Alan Davies, Jack Dee, Marcus Brigstocke and Lucy Porter on eyes, snakes, cutlery and dieting. episode
• Episode Five: Clive Anderson, Sue Perkins, Henning Wehn and Graeme Garden on sheep, furniture, the ancient Greeks and Arthur Conan Doyle. episode
• Episode Six: Arthur Smith, Tony Hawks, Charlie Brooker and Rhod Gilbert on ears, divorce, badgers and ice cream. episode

Series 8 (2011)

• Episode One (Special Christmas edition): Lee Mack, Jack Dee, Rufus Hound and Graeme Garden on reindeer, decorations, boxes and pantomime. episode
• Episode Two (Recorded at the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe): Mark Watson, Phill Jupitus, Ed Byrne and Henning Wehn on the Olympics, butter, bees and blood. episode
• Episode Three: Tom Wrigglesworth, Tony Hawks, Alan Davies and John Finnemore on hamburgers, snoring, pens and crocodiles. episode
• Episode Four: Lee Mack, Jack Dee, Rufus Hound and Graeme Garden on nuts, boy scouts, the circus and Florence Nightingale. episode
• Episode Five (recorded at the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe): Mark Watson, Roisin Conaty, Alex Horne and Henning Wehn on competitions, chickens, sweets and the Romans. episode
• Episode Six: Tom Wrigglesworth, Tony Hawks, Alan Davies and John Finnemore talk on subjects such as wool, flowers, the radio and pasta.[apparently not available online]

Series 9 (2012)

• Episode One: Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Lucy Porter and Graeme Garden on parrots, breakfast, insurance and Oliver Cromwell. episode
• Episode Two: John Finnemore, Henning Wehn, Danielle Ward and Tom Wrigglesworth on pandas, football, China and smoking. episode
• Episode Three: Marcus Brigstocke, Miles Jupp, Susan Calman and Alan Davies on swimming, bread, hotels and foxes. episode
• Episode Four: Tony Hawks, Arthur Smith, Lucy Porter and Graeme Garden on restaurants, Barbie dolls, feet and garlic. episode
• Episode Five: John Finnemore, Henning Wehn, Danielle Ward and Tom Wrigglesworth on bats, cars, oranges and Dr. Johnson. episode
• Episode Six: Marcus Brigstocke, Miles Jupp, Susan Calman and Alan Davies on goats, singing, glue and painting. episode

Series 10 (2012)

• Episode One: Tony Hawks, Lucy Porter, Ed Byrne and Charlie Higson lie about pies, worms, dancing and James Bond. episode
• Episode Two (Recorded at the 2012 Fringe Festival): Henning Wehn, Lloyd Langford, Celia Pacquola and Rhod Gilbert lie about wine, the Queen, baths and wind. episode
• Episode Three: Henning Wehn, Arthur Smith, Holly Walsh and John Finnemore on wasps, computers, Oscar Wilde and Boris Johnson. episode
• Episode Four: Tony Hawks, Lucy Porter, Ed Byrne and Charlie Higson lie about gambling, turtles, teeth and lemons. episode
• Episode Five (Recorded at the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe): Lloyd Langford, Celia Pacquola, Phill Jupitus and Marcus Brigstocke on Tomatoes, Koalas, Boats and Cheese. episode
• Episode Six: John Finnemore, Henning Wehn, Holly Walsh and Arthur Smith on Germany, Beards, Camels and Simon Cowell. episode

Series 11 (2013)

• Episode One: Lloyd Langford, Henning Wehn, Katherine Ryan and Graeme Garden on sharks, photography, sugar and Jeremy Clarkson. episode
• Episode Two: Rhod Gilbert, Richard Osman, Lucy Beaumont and John Finnemore on moles, cabbages, trains and the BBC. episode
• Episode Three: Ed Byrne, Mark Watson, Tony Hawks and Lucy Porter on monkeys, fingers, windows and horns. episode
• Episode Four: Lloyd Langford, Henning Wehn, Katherine Ryan and Graeme Garden on geese, horses, advertising and Madonna. episode
• Episode Five: Rhod Gilbert, Richard Osman, Lucy Beaumont and John Finnemore on octopuses, planes, armadillos and socks. episode
• Episode Six: Ed Byrne, Mark Watson, Tony Hawks and Lucy Porter on lions, pianos, grass and the French. episode

Series 12 (2013)

• Episode One (Recorded from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe): Arthur Smith, Henning Wehn, Bridget Christie and Ed Byrne on poison, etiquette, jelly and... David Mitchell. episode
• Episode Two: Marcus Brigstocke, Holly Walsh, John Finnemore and Rufus Hound lie about Eton, babies, Russia and hats. episode
• Episode Three: Henning Wehn, Graeme Garden, Jeremy Hardy and Victoria Coren Mitchell lie on the subjects of trees, doctors, newspapers and Spain. episode
• Episode Four: Lloyd Langford, Lucy Porter, Tom Wrigglesworth and Fred MacAulay lie on the subjects of women, Japan, owls and potatoes. episode
• Episode Five: Marcus Brigstocke, Holly Walsh, John Finnemore and Rufus Hound lie on the subjects of board games, salt, guinea pigs and actors. episode
• Episode Six: Henning Wehn, Graeme Garden, Jeremy Hardy and Victoria Coren Mitchell talk with deliberate inaccuracy on subjects as varied as the British, beetles, the clergy and novels. episode

Series 13

• Episode One: Alex Horne, Lucy Beaumont, John Finnemore and Jack Dee lie on subjects as varied as birds, witches, birds, pubs, birds, shoes and birds. episode
• Episode Two: Lloyd Langford, Jon Richardson, Katherine Ryan and Graeme Garden lie on the subjects of whales, pigs, Canada and buses. episode
• Episode Three: Alex Horne, Lucy Beaumont, John Finnemore and Jack Dee talk with deliberate inaccuracy on subjects as varied as legs, the Internet, dogs and the Middle Ages. episode
• Episode Four: Lloyd Langford, Jon Richardson, Katherine Ryan and Graeme Garden lie on the subjects of Wales, fish, mouths and perfume. episode
• Episode Five: Tony Hawks, Susan Calman, Phill Jupitus and Miles Jupp lie on the subjects of the brain, the Victorians, toads and cooking. episode
• Episode Six: Tony Hawks, Susan Calman, Phill Jupitus and Miles Jupp lie on the subjects of school, bears, underwear and bottles. episode

Where cats are more popular than dogs in the U.S.—and all over the world. We all know there are only two types of people in the world: cat people and dog people. But data from market research firm Euromonitor suggest that these differences extend beyond individual preferences and to the realm of geopolitics: it turns out there are cat countries and dog countries, too.

El festival organizado por Cidade Vella revela media docena de conciertos en vivo

Marvel se enorgullece en presentar la adaptación al cómic de la novela más famosa de Jane Austen (no confundir con la versión Orgullo y prejuicio y zombis).

Descubre el viaje a través de los complejos círculos sociales británicos de Lizzy Bennet y su adorable, a la par que excéntrica, familia.

Orgullo y prejuicio está considerada como una de las primeras comedias románticas, un delicioso relato que analiza a la sociedad británica en uno de los momentos más trascendentales de su historia.

Marvel Ilustrado es una colección de Marvel, de la cual ya hemos sacado varios en el blog: Moby Dick, El Ultimo Mohicano, Los Tres Mosqueteros, El Hombre de La Mascara de Hierro, La Iliada, El Maravilloso Mago de Oz, La Odisea, La Guerra de Troya, El Retrato de Dorian Grey , etc.

Idioma: Español.
Editorial: Marvel
Guion: Nancy Butler 
Dibujo: Hugo Petrus  
Tradumaquetadores: Carlos_ 1981 [CRG] 
Archivos: 1 Tomo de 125 Paginas. 
Formato: CBR 
Tamaño: 38 Mb



Descarga:

• Marvel Ilustrado - Orgullo y Prejuicio

Female 'Purity' Is Bullshit

Men can't actually care whether or not women are "pure," because there is no way for "purity" to be verified. It's just not a real thing, and chasing some phantom virtue for your entire life is a great way to ensure that you waste your goddamn life... This entire "conversation" is just an effort to rig a system in which men get to determine female worthlessness no matter the input. There is nothing you can do to be pure.

...Our culture deliberately socializes women to be taken in. We condition girls (explicitly! Not even covertly!) to believe that if they're not sexually attractive, they're nothing. They're garbage. They might as well not exist. We reinforce, over and over, that their attractiveness has an expiration date, so the only thing they can do is desperately leverage that attractiveness while they can. If they resist that conditioning, we sexualize them against their will, and if they give in to that conditioning—or worse, if they are raped by a predator—we reveal the trap: Now you're a slut, and it's your fault. Now you're tainted.

Virginity Fetish: How Our Obsession With "Sexual Purity" Hurts Women
(an excerpt from Jessica Valenti's book "The Purity Myth")

There is a moral panic in America over young women's sexuality -- and it's entirely misplaced. Girls "going wild" aren't damaging a generation of women, the myth of sexual purity is. The lie of virginity -- the idea that such a thing even exists -- is ensuring that young women's perception of themselves is inextricable from their bodies, and that their ability to be moral actors is absolutely dependent on their sexuality. It's time to teach our daughters that their ability to be good people depends on their being good people, not on whether or not they're sexually active.

A combination of forces -- our media- and society-driven virginity fetish, an increase in abstinence-only education, and the strategic political rollback of women's rights among the primary culprits -- has created a juggernaut of unrealistic sexual expectations for young women.

The Vulgar Face of Purity Culture:

Friends recently drew my attention to this piece, written by a mother to her sons' female friends on Facebook. She clearly loves her sons enormously, and wants to see them happy, healthy, and in fulfilling relationships. I applaud her for that.

Growing up, however, I had first-hand experience with the sort of modesty teaching Mrs. Hall doles out in her post. In my community, it was called "purity teaching," but in hindsight, I can only see the flaws in this approach...

What purity teaching did for me, and for many of the women I know who were raised in similar environments, was distill me down to my body. Sure, leaders paid lip service to concepts like, you know, women having brains and personalities. But the core of purity culture was that my mind didn't matter, my personality didn't matter, my dreams and desires and goals didn't matter -- if my shorts were too short. Or if I wore a bikini, if I kissed a boy, if I kissed a GIRL, if I shook my bootie when I danced, if I ever-ever-ever had sex for any reason whatsoever before I was married. Because my REAL value, my ultimate worth, came from my body. I learned that the assumed, innate "impurity" of my body would overshadow any other valuable trait I may possess; but my intelligence, wit, creativity, kindness... those could never supersede my too-short shorts or bare shoulders.

10 Bloggers Respond to Mrs. Hall's Letter with Thoughts on Slut-Shaming, Respect, and Selfies: "...my gut-reaction to the now viral letter that Mrs. Hall wrote to teenage girls posting "seductive" selfies on Instagram and thus tempting her precious sons... well... I'm having a hard time with the general concept. [...] Obviously, the Internet is abuzz with posts on the letter that Mrs. Hall shared -- some in support, some with further questions, some with advice, and a lot with a bone to pick."

How the Purity Myth Perpetuates Rape Culture: "I was thinking about the source of all the problematic ways in which our society views and responds to sexual assault–the victim-blaming, the simplistic construction of "real" victims and "legitimate" rape, the erasure of certain social groups of victims–and I realized that much of it comes down to antiquated views of female sexual purity. I don't doubt that there's much more to it, obviously, but this is a piece of the puzzle that isn't discussed as often as it should be."

'Purity' culture: bad for women, worse for survivors of sexual assault: "Where does a woman's value lie? In her brain? Her heart? Her spirit? According to right-wing culture warriors, "between her legs". That's what underlies the emphasis on virginity as "purity", and the push for abstinence-only education. And it has very real consequences, most recently articulated by Elizabeth Smart. Smart, who was kidnapped and held for months while her captor repeatedly raped her, recently discussed how her religious background made her feel worthless after the first rape – how she understands why others wouldn't even try to escape, if, like her, they were taught that a sexually "impure" woman had nothing to offer. Smart's speech is largely being interpreted as a critique of abstinence-only education, but she's pointing to an entire culture that fetishizes purity."

4 Myths About Virginity:
1. It's an Actual Thing: "Let's start with the biggest myth of all – that virginity is something quantifiable. Let's bust this myth once and for all (and you can trust me on this one): There is no medical or biological definition of virginity."
2. But Duhh, the Hymen!
3. It Has the Power to Change Your Genitals
4. It Changes Who You Are As a Person

previously:
*You Can't POP Your Cherry (HYMEN 101)
*17 Lies We Need to Stop Teaching Girls About Sex

Screenshots taken from The Simpsons/Family Guy Crossover - Comic-Con 2014

For most people nowadays, the continued existence of The Simpsons is a bit like the continued existence of vacuum cleaner repair shops: It’s something that seems to sustain itself on the basis of people you hardly-never meet.

These people are a phantom army who diligently record season 24, giggling along at Gramps’ latest gripe, Krusty’s latest wife, Homer’s latest hobby or Wiggum’s latest Deputy, completely unaware that everyone else is watching the internet. In fact, those of us who don’t breathe through a cable box only really perceive it as a series of headlines in newspapers about celebrity cameos: “Russell Brand to Star in Simpsons Episode”; “Simpsons Parody Game of Thrones Opening Sequence”; “Jeremy Irons to Star as a Talking Dishrag in The Simpsons”; “Lady Gaga Simpsons Episode Lowest-Ranked for Quality in Show’s History”. Etc etc etc.

This week, the Simpsons headline everyone is talking about is: “The Simpsons Characters Feature in Family Guy.” If ever there was a sign of just how far from its creative peak the show is, this is it. This year, The Simpsons turned in all-time low ratings at 3.5 million viewers. By comparison, Family Guy is still pootelling along with a remarkably consistent 7 million. Whereas once Family Guy was the upstart/rip-off, now, it is the one holding out a life buoy to its drowning dad.

Sadly but inevitably, as a cultural product, The Simpsons just belongs to a different age. To me, it always feels strange when The Simpsons do gags about modern pop culture. It’s like a more fleshed out version of that "Modern Seinfeld" Twitter account. At its core, the show exists in that world before we all lost our tiny minds. In Springfield, it is always nearly time for Lollapalooza. Bill Clinton is always a handsome young President leading an optimistic nation that has just won the Cold War. The Exxon Valdez is always one punchline away.

Family Guy—popular as it is—has never really meant anything to anyone in the way that The Simpsons did, and as such it can continue undimmed forever. While The Simpsons holds a rarified, Beatles-esque grip on pop cultural history, Family Guy is more like Kiss—just another noisy derivative which can continue for an eternity, happy in the knowledge that when all one’s audience wants is stupidity, it’s never going to be hard to keep them happy.

The writers seem to understand the general perception that, at it’s best,The Simpsons is the best and at its best Family Guy is fart jokes. Judging from the trailer premiered at Comic-Con, once we get past the easier post-modern jokes (Stewie: “What state are we in?” Brian The Talking Dog replies: “I can’t imagine we’re allowed to say” or a Stewie take on the Bart phone prank trope, which ends in a rape joke) it revels in this class difference. The real meat of the matter comes when Homer and Peter Griffin talk about their respective local beers and whether one is a rip-off of the other. Griffin: “It may have been INSPIRED by Duff, but I like to think it goes in a different direction...”. We can tell where it’s going—a kind of polite, lame mash-up of two South Park episodes ('The Simpsons Already Did It' and 'Cartoon Wars').

The Comic-Con package climaxes with Peter Griffin and Homer having a fight. They fall into the cooling tower of Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Then they emerge glowing-green with Marvel-style superpowers, and shoot up into space, where they collide with an incoming alien spacecraft and tumble across the Springfield Canyon made famous by Homer on a skateboard. The Simpsons has been a world with its own rules—a place where the entire town could riot over a single cheese-puff, but it has never been a world where people jump into nuclear reactor cores and then come out with superpowers – because that’s just silly, the sight of cowed writers who’ve lost touch with the characters, the world, the tone, just mashing the keys in pursuit of spectacle while an angry executive stands behind them with a gun at their head demanding more and more episodes.

Many people bitched about the last episode of Seinfeld being a piece of self-obsessed twaddle which treated its viewers with contempt for swallowing the same level of character-driven, predictable farce every week. It feels like The Simpsons has been running that episode for over a decade now, but what do you expect? How can any TV show sustain itself over a lifespan longer than Buddy Holly’s? There are people out there having sex today who weren’t born during Legendary Vintage Season Nine, and if he weren’t animated, Bart would be older than Macaulay Culkin, and apparently you’re supposed to sneer at that guy as a tragic has-been now.

The four-and-a-half minute promo doesn’t reveal how this episode is going to end. But here’s a suggestion: no-one wins the fight. In fact, it continues for so long that eventually everyone in Springfield dies of boredom and The Simpsons’ house sits there quietly for years as the corpses rot. Eventually, decades later, the Prophet Muhammad and a manatee squat the building and a new series of satirical adventures begin. Has a certain swagger, no?

Follow Gavin Haynes on Twitter

Photos and images provided by the author

Lucy was starting to hold back tears. We sat in her living room, my iPhone working overtime as my tape recorder, and she was so pissed off it looked like she might cry. She was telling me about our former Dungeon Master, who had exploited our Dungeons & Dragons game to live out his sad-sack fantasy after she'd already flatly rejected his advances just weeks before. "I really didn't want my character to go down that route and have fake sex with this character," Lucy explained to me on that sunny afternoon. But the adventure "didn't get anywhere else unless I let it get more and more sexualized. Once we went down that path that was the only thing that got me rewards in the game, if I kept doing those things. Or at least allowing it to happen to my character and not being like, 'Fuck that shit' and walking away." 

"Lucy" is an alias, by the way. 

Sporting a mousy face and thick-rimmed glasses, Lucy is the kind of woman simultaneously ignored, marginalized, and fetishized by the prototypical geek. She's attractive but doesn't seem unattainable, possessing that "approachable" look that seems almost tailor-made to appeal to dorky guys with gutter-dwelling self-esteems. Lucy's been a dork for most of her life: She was first introduced to D&D by friends in high school, and in college she was an officer in a video game club where she coordinated events.

"Lucy"

I first met Lucy when we both responded to a Reddit advertisement looking for players for a new D&D campaign in Williamsburg at the beginning of this year. Besides my wife, Lucy was the only woman in the party, and I was glad to see her there. I'd braced myself for the worst stereotypes of other players—a bunch of neckbeards with glandular problems. I was happy that I wouldn't be playing in a group like that.

At its best, Dungeons & Dragons is a game without limits, a game in which even the rules themselves can be subsumed by the logic and necessity of shared storytelling. D&D lets players take on different identities, different roles—even wildly different moral systems. It is an elaborate system of wish fulfillment, in which scrawny, socially awkward teenagers can become bruising hulks who wield massive great axes and slay dragons singe-handedly. The game's boundaries are limited only by the players—what they want to accomplish and what they are willing to attempt. And like any game that encourages the wish fulfillment of (primarily) teenage boys, sometimes these impulses will take a dark and ugly turn.

The leader of our group—let's call him Jason (because, well, that's his name)—had a thing for Lucy from the start, as he confessed to my wife and me soon after we first met him. Months later he finally gathered the courage to ask her out, but she firmly rejected him. And that should have been the end of it. 

My wife and I missed a session for the first time, and Jason made his move. He introduced a new character that he would get to control. The character, "Mercurios," was rugged and handsome, with "red wavy hair that seems to move like a flame covers a slightly tan face of man," as Jason would later write. All the "ladies" in the "town" fawned over Mercurios relentlessly, a weird piece of auto-erotic exhibitionism when one considers the fact that both the ladies and the man depicted were being controlled by Jason himself. In any case—the party needed this character's help, and Jason made it very clear that the only way to get it would be if Lucy's character made like she wanted to do the nasty. Lucy didn't like this idea. But when she tried other techniques to advance the story, they invariably failed. Eventually Jason—er, the character—suggested that they go somewhere more comfortable, somewhere more private. 

"It was just kind of guided in that direction."

Nothing else explicitly happened between these two quasi-fictional people, but that was Lucy's last session with our group all the same. For myself, it would be months before the real story of what had happened became fully clear.

And now that it is, I need to find a new D&D group.

Is this a problem, though, or just one ugly circumstance? When the question of harassment in role-playing games comes up in online communities, stories abound. But no form of harassment or exploitation is more controversial than fictional rape, particularly as it is always at the hands of either another party member or a character controlled by the Dungeon Master. In a game in which the character is of your own invention, in which you play-act what the character sees, how he or she acts, and what he or she desires, it can be a truly traumatic experience. "I have had characters raped," one poster noted on an internet forum that discussed the topic at some length all the way back in 1999. "I can say from experience that even though I know I am not my character, it is very traumatic. The GM in question did not give me an out."

One woman I spoke with online (who asked not to be quoted) recently had her character put into a "gimp suit" by her Dungeon Master—against her strong protestations, and in front of her younger sister. She left the game in disgust. Fortunately, the rest of the party was similarly offended and never invited that player back. (#NotAllRoleplayers, after all.)

According to a dissertation on gender in role-playing games from 2006, more than 55 percent of female gamers had been "made to feel uncomfortable, judged or harassed because of their gender," compared with 5.4 percent of male players. Similarly, 40 percent of women witnessed such an incident, as did 32 percent of men. Not all of these instances signify something as egregious as fictional rape, but the numbers are disappointing all the same.

Dungeons & Dragons bubbles up in our cultural consciousness every decade or two before receding back to the depths of niche weirdness, and it seems to be having one of its signature moments once again. A recent New York Times article highlighted the game's incredible influence on a generation of writers and artists, while other mainstream outlets have noted the admirable efforts made in this new edition toward inclusiveness of all races, genders, and sexual identities.

This year, Dungeons & Dragons celebrates its 40th birthday with the release of a fifth edition, which will take the game fully into the 21st century. Early in the new edition's rulebook, the authors suggest that players need not "be confined to binary notions of sexuality and gender." Dungeons & Dragons is a game arguably most famous as a shorthand for the deepest depths of geek culture. That it added this stipulation to its newest rules is refreshing—and more than a little surprising. An uncomfortable legacy remains deeply ingrained in the DNA of Dungeons & Dragons, a legacy that stretches all the way back to the origins of the game itself.

Originally created by Gary Gygax, an insurance underwriter, high school dropout, and avid gun collector, D&D is the child of a self-described "biological determinist." Gygax believed that while "it isn't that gaming is designed to exclude women," there's "no question that male and female brains are different" and that "females do not derive the same inner satisfaction from playing games" as men do. This, explained Gygax, was why "everybody who's tried to design a game to interest a large female audience has failed." These opinions, while fairly in line with the overwhelmingly male niche culture of war games that laid the groundwork for D&D in the early 1970s, have helped enshrine a legacy that the game has had difficulty leaving behind. 

In the first edition of the Dungeon Master's Guide from 1979, Gygax provided Dungeon Masters with a "Random Harlot Encounter Table." 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, surveys at the time pegged the number of female players somewhere between 0.4 and 2.3 percent. Still, it's impossible to say how much the attitudes displayed by the game's creator were a function of this gender gap rather than its cause. Regardless, it would be decades before the game's publisher—or its players—made serious efforts to recruit outside this cloistered circle.

In 1983, not ten years after the game's creation, the first truly comprehensive study of tabletop role-playing games was conducted. Shared Fantasy: Role Playing Games As Social Worlds by Gary Alan Fine was a study on the habits, attitudes, and demographic breakdowns of the practitioners of this new, weird hobby called "role-playing." And Fine's results were far from flattering. The book painted the picture of an insular boy's club consisting of social cast-offs and introverts, entrenching a perception that largely remains intact to this day. According to Fine, only between 5 and 10 percent of players at the time were women. But beyond noting this massive gender gap, Fine asked what accounted for this disparity.

"Girls don't have enough imagination," one woman quoted in the study explained. The games were just "too complicated." Some men surveyed for the study helpfully suggested that "females' greater commitment to social reality" was to blame for their lack of representation. The report also highlights a deep anxiety and violence toward women in the men he surveyed and observed. "It is striking," Fine notes at one point, "that players consider inhibitions that prevent characters from engaging in fantasy rape to be a problem, but such is male informal interaction." He also writes, "While it is not inevitable that the games will express male sexual fears and fantasies, they are structured so that these expressions are legitimate."

A number of the players he surveyed agreed. When Fine asked one individual whether women were accepted in his group, his answer was more than a little revealing: "Yeah, they're accepted. They're accepted and they're sort of treated special. I mean people make a little joke about them, or talk to them in kind of a kidding way... You know, they're making sexual remarks to the girls and teasing her about sex and so on. It's considered standard, no big deal."

Fine cautions, "The absence of females is not an accident of fate, nor is it something that will likely change rapidly." He also writes, "Females will not constitute a large percentage of the gaming world in the near future." When D&D's publisher, Wizards of the Coast, conducted a market research survey in 2000, they found that 20 percent of all players were women—a paltry number, but an appreciable rise from the early 80s. 

As countless players and industry professionals I spoke with—both male and female—were eager to note, Anna Kreider, who runs the blog "Go Make Me a Sandwich," is a vocal critic of much of the artwork and outreach that the industry attempts (or fails to attempt). Yet she noted over email that, "As much as I write about the ugly side of game culture, I am lucky to be part of a community of game designers who are some of the best, most amazing human beings I know. Games are an amazing medium and can be a powerful tool of self-examination and social change... Overall I'm very hopeful for the future of the hobby."

Follow Tim Donovan on Twitter.

All photos courtesy of Guillermo Cervera, from his series Sex Club

I can't say I've ever been particularly interested in swingers' clubs, mostly because in my mind they are the haunts of the old, desperate, and flaccid, the playgrounds of gold-toothed Russian mobsters and characters out of Michel Houellebecq novels.

But then came an offer from my girlfriend. She had been to a swingers' club a few years before we met and found it quite fun. I said nothing at the time, mulling over it instead. A few days later, on a weekend, we were in a club drinking with some of my friends till the early hours. Around three in the morning, I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I think now's the right time. Let's go swinging."

We left our group without much explanation and hopped in the car. Twelve miles later, we were up in the mountains on the outskirts of Barcelona, looking for parking outside a mansion. As we walked through the gates, a well-attired man in his 40s came out of the door in the company of two women. My doubts about my own outfit were confirmed as soon as we walked in. Compared with everyone else in the club, I was dressed like a fucking dog. The glamorous woman that greeted us explained politely that my shorts were totally against the dress code, but since it was my first time, just this once, they were willing to let it go.

Entrance cost about $70 and included four drinks. Men could enter only if accompanied by a woman, while women were allowed in either way. We were given a tour of all the different rooms—these included a disco (full of naked people), a pool (also full of naked people but which we did not try because my girlfriend hated the idea of all the sperm swimming around in the water), several king-size bedrooms, a cinema (which only showed porn, of course), and a terrace (which I guessed would be the equivalent of a night club's chill-out zone. The rules were made clear: Our belongings had to be left at the entrance, where we were given a towel and a pair of slippers. The couple should not at any point separate.

After going through these first steps, we drank some whiskey and walked around, taking in everything that was happening around us in an attempt to acclimate to the people and environment. Finally, we decided to go into one of the rooms. We moved into semi-darkness, while some 20 people engaged in various sexual activities in the space around us. We found a corner and started getting it on. It did not take long for others to join us, and within a few minutes our couple had turned into a handful.

The rules had been clear form the start: You must always ask for the couple's permission to participate, whether that is expressed or implied, keeping in mind that "no" very definitely means no. But of course, once you get into it, "no" isn't going to be in very many people's vocabulary. With an unmistakable gesture, a guy asked for my permission to get closer to my girlfriend. Before I could remind him of the obligation to use a condom, he showed me he already had one in his hand. He put it on and as he penetrated her, I pushed her head southward, asking her to give me a blowjob.

Shortly after that I lost her for a while. I ended up in another corner with two women while my girlfriend was his. I found her much later in another room—she was giving some other guy a blowjob, so I started licking her pussy while different sets of hands touched her everywhere. After a powerful orgasm, she got up, drank more whiskey, and started talking to a guy who told her that he was trying to hold back ejaculating for as long as possible but that having sex with her made that very difficult. I listened as I received oral sex from another complete stranger.

We took a break on the terrace. We smoked and talked with a guy from Seville, who spoke passionately against Catalan nationalism. That was a little boring, so we left—this time for the cinema, where we had sex with another couple. We never exchanged a word with them, but we understood one another quite easily. You see, part of the fun is looking, but also showing off.

After we were done with them, we went on a final tour of the house and decided to leave. We returned home satisfied—a new day was just beginning. Still excited, we smoked a last spliff and fucked while discussing the experience.

Maybe in a different context I would not have felt any attraction to the people I met that night, but I don't think I would have found anyone repugnant either. There were young people there but also older people—smaller and other larger, athletic bodies as well as bodies that clearly had not been taken good care of. But in the context of a swingers' club, that was unimportant.

The really interesting thing about the experience was the purely sexual connection established between complete strangers. It is also a great way for a couple to get over jealousy. You have to turn the tables and use others' sexual desire to your advantage. And if you cannot get over jealousy, you should just join in.

More about sex:

I Went to the Closing Night at London's Last Porn Cinema

NSFW Quiz: Can You Tell Which of These Porn Star Orgasms Are Fake?

A Big Night Out... in a Fetish Club Dance Cage!

WATCH – The Last Peep Show in Amsterdam

BuzzFeed LGBT editor Saeed Jones joins journalists Steven Thrasher and Dave Tuller to discuss sex, gay men, and what we are (and aren’t) doing. “Marriage and wedding registries are much easier to talk about than fucking.”

John Gara for BuzzFeed

Saeed Jones: OK, let's be real: We have to start with Truvada if we're going to have a candid discussion about gay men and sex in 2014. The drug has sparked a heated debate about the past and future of the HIV/AIDS crisis as well as necessary and complicated questions about everything from bareback sex in our bedrooms and in porn to disclosure, serosorting, and relationships between HIV-positive and HIV-negative gay men.

If HIV-negative gay men take Truvada once a day, they drastically reduce their chances of acquiring HIV. (Antiretrovirals can also be taken up to 72 hours after an unsafe sexual encounter — this is known post-exposure prophylaxis, or PEP — but people should be aware that the evidence for whether this kind of HIV "morning-after pill" works is much less solid.) Personally, I'm still learning and making up my mind about whether or not Truvada is an option I'd like to act upon. But it is great to know that I at least have a new option. Still, though, I was a bit taken aback when Larry Kramer told the New York Times: "There's something to me cowardly about taking Truvada instead of using a condom." Steven, what did you think about Kramer's comments?

Steven Thrasher: I was kind of stunned by Larry Kramer's comments initially, though not entirely surprised after thinking about them a bit. In Tim Murphy's outstanding New York Magazine article, you can see how it is easy to imagine a young Larry Kramer — the author of The Normal Heart and basis for its protagonist — as very at odds with the elderly Larry Kramer who made those comments. The second (and last) time I interacted with Larry Kramer, I found him to be almost entirely against a position he was haranguing me to be for the first time I'd met him. (Of course, like any of us, Kramer has certainly earned the right to change his mind over time.)

But I've certainly seen a big generational difference in how people respond to HIV, especially in reporting the story about Michael Johnson. (Johnson, a former college wrestler, is awaiting trial on one count of "recklessly infecting another with HIV" and four counts of "attempting to recklessly infect another with HIV," felonies in the state of Missouri.) Some young activists asked me after reading the story why I hadn't written about Truvada, or PrEP. However, the truth is that this is all very new to the public. The men I wrote about having bareback sex in St. Louis did not know about Truvada in early 2013. Most probably don't still. Safe sex to them was simply a matter of using condoms. I questioned the school in that story, Lindenwood University, about why it didn't have condoms available for free or for sale on campus. A year and a half later, Truvada is only barely starting to register as an option for people who are highly informed about HIV/AIDS in major metropolitan areas. I think this summer will be looked back upon as a turning point in using Truvada as a major tool for HIV prevention, especially considering the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's recent endorsement for all sexually active gay men to take it and a study presented last week at the International AIDS Conference that showed how effective taking the drug can be. But we're not there yet. I mean, while working on the story, I met someone in St. Louis who said his doctor refused to prescribe Truvada because it was a "whore's drug."

Sarah Karlan for BuzzFeed

David Tuller: I think the introduction of Truvada for HIV prevention has definitely been really challenging for guys of my generation, and Larry's — I'm 57, so I'm quite a bit younger than him. It's upended the basic assumptions we've lived with for 30-plus years. (Can it really be 30 years?) I had my first sexual experience with a guy when I was 21, in 1978. I didn't feel comfortable having sex at all at first, but by the time I was starting to, the epidemic was already getting underway. In those days — the early '80s — I pretty quickly became terrified to have sex at all. Could you kiss? What about blow jobs? Fucking felt too fraught to think about. What could you do? It really froze my budding sex life in place. I'd missed the wild days of the 1970s, or rather, I just caught the very end of it. And that terror stayed with me for years. And now, it's a completely different world. We were, basically, terrorized into using condoms. You were a bad community citizen if you didn't. And of course, those of us who adhered to the "condom code" did not get infected, thankfully. But the price we paid was that sex was always — always — accompanied by great fear and second-guessing. I think many men of my age cohort think, If we could use condoms faithfully, why can't you?

SJ: I'm 28 years old. When I started realizing I was attracted to men, one of the assumptions I made was that HIV/AIDS and being a gay man were inextricably linked. I did a lot of reading and learning (and mis-learning) on my own because I didn't feel comfortable asking questions about sex and, obviously, my high school sex education course didn't address LGBT sexuality, HIV/AIDS, etc. America is still "debating" whether or not we should teach middle school students about birth control; imagine how far we have to go toward teaching teens and pre-teens about LGBT-relevant sex. Kids are coming out (across the LGBT spectrum) at earlier and earlier ages, but sex education is playing catch-up.

So, though I didn't live through the AIDS plague years, that terror you mention was definitely a part of my sexual coming-of-age. I remember going to the public library in my hometown and looking for nonfiction books about gay people. The only books available were either about HIV/AIDS or "coping with" your gay child. My sophomore year of high school, I stole a copy of The New Joy of Gay Sex from a Barnes & Noble! Though I didn't fully understand the politics of why I wasn't being educated in a useful way about gay sex, I knew I wanted and needed to understand my body and how I felt about guys. I shoved that book into the front of my jeans and walked, quite awkwardly, out of the bookstore — nervous but incredibly proud. It was like, Fuck you! I'm going to figure this out one way or another. At summer camp that year, the boy I was hooking up with would page through the book with me and then we'd try things out. (We even snuck away from the camp to buy condoms and lube at Walmart.) Having someone just as audacious, horny, and determined as I was helped me feel sane. It was the only time I had sex before my twenties that I wasn't terrified that the world wasn't going to collapse in on itself immediately after my orgasm.

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Yeah, there was some! I know, it's easy to miss among all the movie panels and cosplayers and hoopla, but comics publishers did show up and announce a bevy of new titles — including a ton of great comics from the non-spandex crowd. Here's what you need to know!

Read more...

Cock-a-doodle-oo-la-la.

Onagadori

This Japanese breed of chicken was selectively bred to have tail feathers that grow up to 5 meters in length.

Diandra Dills / Creative Commons / Via commons.wikimedia.org

Golden Polish

These birds are notable for their large bouffant crest of feathers, which sometimes impedes their vision.

Robyn Anderson / Flickr: robynanderson

Silver Laced Polish

Another variety of Polish chickens, these guys can be used as egg-layers, but they're better suited to be exhibition birds.

Flickr: jety

Silkie Bantam

This Chinese breed is "the lap-dog of the chicken world," and they have five toes instead of four like most chickens.

I do not understand this license? / Via commons.wikimedia.org

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1. Seizing the moment.

I was having sex with a new boyfriend for the first time. I had a seizure.

He didn’t realize what was happening at first and finished.

To be fair, I hadn’t had a seizure in years and he didn’t know I had epilepsy.

2. Two full inches.

This guy I worked with was always bragging about how good he was and how big his dick was.

We were getting naked and no joke, it was maybe 2 inches fully erect.

To top it off, he broke down crying because he apparently had a girlfriend and couldn’t believe he just cheated on her…

I ended up having to call her to come get him.

3. “I’M RICK JAMES, BITCH!!”

He confessed eternal love to my vagina and then yelled “YEAH! I’M RICK JAMES BITCH!!” when he climaxed. He’s a white guy who dresses like slim shady and thinks he’s a cowboy. It was also jack rabbit sex so it was extra terrible and hard on my back.

4. Done before starting.

Reached into his pants while making out and he came on my arm as soon as I made contact.

5. He purposely stung his dick with bees.

I dunno if it counts because we did not even get to the sex. But he brought … bees … into foreplay.

Yes, bees. He kept honeybees in the backyard. I’m sure they made delicious honey but he had them sting his dick for harder long-lasting super-erections. He said he got the idea from the Kama Sutra. His penis looked like a red cucumber and I think my vagina shriveled like a prune.

I am allergic to bee stings anyway so I swallowed my horror down that I nearly fucked my allergy and politely let him know it wouldn’t work out. But he was a nice guy otherwise!

6. He yelled at his dick.

I had been dating this guy I worked with for about a month, and we were really hitting it off. … He had been working me up, talking about how amazing he was going to make it that night, and I was seriously creaming my pants just waiting for it all to go down.

We go to his room, where I had never been. He’s obviously still wasted and mumbles something about not having much time to clean lately as he’s opening the door. He turned on his light and I literally gasped. His room was fucking FILTHY. He had no bed, just a mattress on the floor. Dirty laundry everywhere. Empty beer cans and DVDs and dishes on the floor and it smelled like rotting food.

I have no logical reason for why that was not a deal-breaker. It should have been, but oh, I really really like him, and well it’s his birthday, and hey my room gets messy sometimes too, and he isn’t acting like it’s a big deal so maybe I’m just being squeamish. …

So after I had snagged a few clean sheets to cover up the mattress, and Febrezed, and the rotten food was removed and taken a few more shots, and the lights were turned down enough that I could almost ignore my surroundings and pretend this situation was something approaching normal, we started getting down to business. So we’re making out. And making out. And making out some more, and that’s all we are doing. And then I notice he is fucking crying.

He jumps up, naked, and flips on the lights. And points to his flaccid penis and gestures ¯(ツ)/¯ like he’s the announcer at the circus says “and here, ladies and gentleman, is the star of the show!”

I beg him to please calm down, but he completely ignores me like I’m not even in the room. It is just him and his penis, and now they are having an argument. He is mad at his penis. He scolds his penis for ALWAYS FUCKING EVERYTHING UP! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME! EVERY TIME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS??

I’m just sitting there, frozen, on the verge of tears. Scared out of my fucking mind because this is literally the craziest shit I have ever witnessed in my life, and I have no idea where he’s going with this. I try talking to him—it’s fine, you are just drunk, it happens, I don’t care, really. Again, it’s like I’m not even in the room. Then finally, he turns his back, and lets out this horrible half-groan/half-whimper. I see my way out, grab my shit and hightail it out of there (my escape was complicated due to the lack of a clear path across the floor). As I’m hopping my way out, he’s banging his fucking head against the wall slowly and methodically and slapping his penis. Or maybe giving it a spanking. In any case it’s apparently being punished.

The kicker—I’m literally walking through the door and he screams at me “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Like yeah, dude…way ahead of you.

TL;DR After month-long build-up of sexual tension, I find out the dude I’m dating lives like a barn animal and gets into fights with his flaccid penis.

7. Hour-long BJ.

The first blowjob I ever gave was an hour long. Why he didn’t stop me sooner I don’t know, I was a naive clueless virgin back then… anyways being on my knees for an hour long caused my legs to go completely numb and faceplant right into the wall.

8. Clit-biting crybaby.

He insisted on biting my clit during oral. Not just once, he kept doing it even after I told (well, screamed at) him to stop. I had to literally shove his head away from my poor bleeding vagina. Then he was pissed that I didn’t want to keep going and didn’t want to have sex anymore. He told me that I actually liked it and was being a bitch, because his previous girlfriend liked having her clit bitten during oral. He kept trying to guilt trip me into having sex with him while I had an ice pack on my vag. And no, he wouldn’t leave when I told him to. He didn’t force himself on me or anything like that afterwards, he just sat around and pouted for the rest of the night and called me an ungrateful prude while telling me all about his wonderful ex.

So yeah, I got a wonderful combination of pain, being insulted, and compared to an ex that he hadn’t gotten over yet.

9. “I AM THE FUCKING CHAMPION.”

Was giving this really attractive, well-endowed guy a blowjob this one time. As he nears climax, he says, “Am I… Am… Yes.. YES! I’m cumming! I AM THE FUCKING CHAMPION.”

And then he proceeded to just sort of lay there, eyes closed, randomly shaking every few seconds. I said his name a few times and he was just blacked out, or something. I was so embarrassed.

10. It’s known as “bagpiping.”

Once had a guy ask to fuck my armpit.

11. He asked for scrotal hickeys.

Ugh. … Fucking a dude who informs me that he’s not going to be able to come with the condom on, and I’m not about to let this guy nut in me so I take the condom off and begin sucking his dick in the hopes that he finishes. He then tells me that he likes having his balls bitten. Oh boy. So here I am on this stupid couch trying to pleasure a lunatic who gets off on ball biting. I give it a college try, sucking his sack and scraping my teeth against his testes, but I really just cannot commit to this shit. I’m kind of like, giving his scrote hickeys? Sucking forcefully and nibbling? But I think he really wanted me to take a gonad between my molars. Finally he jerked himself off with me sucking his balls and came on his stomach. God. Oh and the cat was watching us the entire time. This might not be my worst experience ever, but it’s still very fresh in my memory and I just need to tell the Internet.

12. Mom saw my strap-on.

I was 16 and in a relationship with another woman at the time. Was wearing a vibrating strap on, fucking my GF doggie style. We kept edging closer to the end of the bed and she kept saying to go harder go harder, so I’m slamming it and I guess I thrusted too hard and her elbows slipped out from under her and next thing I know she smashes her face into the edge of the headboard (it was one of those Ikea Malm ones with super sharp corners) then goes rolling off the bed head first and is in a naked fuckpile on my bedroom floor not answering me. So I panic thinking I fucking killed her or something and immediately go running thru the house naked at 3 am, burst open my mom’s door wearing nothing but a strap on dildo that’s still vibrating, yelling MOM! MOMHELP. She shoots up out of bed like a deer in headlights asking me what the fuck is the matter with me and runs into my bedroom with me (mind you she’s in nothing but mom panties) and by the time we both run back in there my GF is back awake, sitting naked on my bedroom floor just staring back at my panicked mother in underpants and me with my cock still all BZZZBBZZZBZZBZZZZZZZ.

13. Is it in?

Went home with a guy I’d had a crush on forever and things got hot and heavy (lights off, he was shy?). I actually asked, “Is it in?”… It was in. I faked it, he fell asleep, I caught a cab back to the club and continued with my night.

14. Smelly, hairy, queefing squirter.

I’m hoping that this applies to lesbian sex too, because boy oh boy do I have a train wreck of a story. Soooo. I went down on this girl one night and immediately noticed that the scent wasn’t great as my face neared her belly button. It wasn’t quite enough to deter me, as it wasn’t THAT offensive (but I wish that I had heeded my nose’s warning). So, that was the first strike. And then I found out that she had a bush. I’ve never been intimate with a girl that has one and it certainly wouldn’t be my first choice, but I was willing to get over it and again it wasn’t enough to deter me. And then she started queefing the second I started. Not slight queefing either.. Loud, offensive, over the top queefing that didn’t subside and only grew more intense as the experience continued. I understand that queefing cannot be controlled and I did my very best to ignore it even though at this point I was just so so appalled by the situation. To top it off, she squirted all over me. She then tried to return the favor, but I was so turned off that I had to leave.

15. Mid-BJ puke-fest.

I threw up everywhere mid-blowjob. It was kind of funny.

16. Mid-fellatio flatulence.

He farted while I was going down on him. No acknowledgement, no apologies, and therefore no more dates.

17. He spat on my vagina.

Guy spat on my vagina. Like leaned back and spat on it.

18. He got his chewing gum stuck in my bush.

I guess the worst was when my first boyfriend went down on me and got his gum stuck in my pubes.

FOREWORD

The United States ranks 23rd in the world for alcohol consumption per capita. This is disconcerting considering we are falling behind in education and health care, along with the fact that the dollar is down. America should expect more of its alcoholism, especially since we completely and utterly dominate the other vice ridden endeavors. Tobacco production, gun ownership, cocaine use, and fast food face stuffing are past times where America thrives. Why let our drinking game suffer?

It comes as no surprise that Old World drunks such as France, Ireland and Poland would defeat us at their own game, but shockingly, even Korea is outdrinking us Yanks. We know they’re better at math, but how are we going to let them take arithmetics and boozing? It’s a little disappointing we can’t muster the gumption to throw down a few extra drinks to crack the top twenty. Sure, Utah and the abstinence crusading dry counties of the South are skewing the score for the rest of us, but corporate America could try a little harder when they go to Vegas on the company dime. Less surf n’ turf, more sazerac and tequila. We need to take responsibility and make Lady Liberty proud. Triumphing in the Olympics every four years isn’t enough. That’s why I’m here to encourage your drinking habit, and since we all need to go the extra mile, I’m going to help you drink like a bona fide citizen of this fine nation.

Without further ado, here is a guide to drinking like a respectable American.

THE GUIDE

1. Absinthe

This green goodness is often portrayed as a dangerous hallucinogenic and was banned in the States and much of Europe in the early 20th century. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to ban a hypnotic combo of tripping and drunkenness, but some people like to kill the fun. In reality, Absinthe is no more dangerous than any other spirit. A renaissance began in the 1990s and now it’s back on the shelves. While I don’t recommend this being your weapon of choice, if you should decide to go on a marvelous drunken adventure, this fuel will turn you into a true Teddy Roosevelt.

2. Appletini

Few things are funnier than a bartender punching a patron in the face, but unless you want to be said patron taking knuckles to the dome, don’t order this drink. As a concerned citizen, I’m ashamed you even considered it.

3. Bourbon

America’s pride and joy! Originally whiskey from Kentucky, now any US distillery can call its whiskey Bourbon if it’s made from at least 51% corn and aged in new, charred oak barrels. There are other criteria, but the important thing is knowing Jack Daniels is not bourbon. JD is Tennessee whiskey. Also an acceptable choice. Anyway, if you have any trace of American jingoism, you will, at least once in your life, experience alcohol poisoning from drinking the sweet nectar we call Bourbon.

4. Bud Light

If you’re into drinking a gallon of fermented urine that’s been carbonated to make a mildly palatable beverage, this Bud’s for you. It’s cheap, relatively patriotic (see InBev), and it only takes twenty cans to put on a buzz. On top of all that, it’s the world’s most popular beer, making it the Justin Beiber of drinking.

5. Bloody Mary

Drink this early and often. If you decide to pursue a life of chronic alcoholism, this infamous brunch cocktail should be your signature drink. The vitamins and minerals in the tomato juice will help power you through the day. It’s recommended to have a premixed bloody concoction for time efficiency. Don’t be a novice by using store bought bloody mix. A delicious recipe is quite simple: tomato juice, lime juice, Worcestershire sauce, horseradish, and hot sauce. Sprinkle a little S&P, maybe some onion powder. Feel free to experiment. Go wild. Add a minimum of two ounces of vodka and you’re ready to spearhead the day.

*Substitute vodka with tequila to make a Bloody Maria.

6. Champagne

Ah, what rappers affectionately refer to as bubbly and can be better described as adult Sprite, champagne has become the colloquial term for sparkling wine. Originally from the Champagne region of France (who knew?), variations of this libation are produced from the hillbillies of Missouri to the Boers of South Africa. It can be cheap or expensive, but most of all it’s fun to drink. Go now and buy a cheap bottle of brut, shake it up, pop the cork, and spray the contents all over some strippers. You will feel great, no matter your gender. Remember to bring ones, strip club ATMs are taxing.

7. Cosmopolitan

Vodka, triple sec, cranberry, and lime juice. Women, have a field day. Fellas, you should know better. LBGTQ, do as you please.

8. Flaming Doctor Pepper

Despite its name, there is no Dr Pepper involved in the creation of this let­me­prove­to­you­how­badass­I­am­but­not­really­that­badass cocktail. It’s made by filling a shot glass with mostly Amaretto and topped with a high­proof liquor like Everclear. The liquors are layered, not mixed. The shot is then set a flame and dropped into a half pint of beer. The beer kills the flame, hence the not really badass part. Though, it does taste a lot like Dr Pepper. You Southerners feel me.

9. Hennessy

If this is your jam, I assume you’re dropping a filthy mixtape soon. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I mean rap music, you big dumb dinosaur.

*Cognac is distilled white wine. I know, right?

10. IPA

A strong and hoppy beer, IPA is an acronym for India Pale Ale. It’s not actually made in India, but it is a product of British occupation in India. What’s important is knowing that you should drink this instead of Bud Light. There are a bajillion craft breweries across America making quality IPAs and you should be supporting small business anyway.

11. Irish Car Bomb

A controversially begotten concoction, an Irish Car Bomb might be the most offensive bomb shot you can order. It’s made with an Irish stout (typically Guinness), Irish cream (Bailey’s), and Irish whisky (Jameson). I’ll let you deduce where the Irish part comes from and I’ll let you guess why it’s rude to order this at any and all Irish pubs. To make the drink, pour whisky over cream in a shot glass. Drop the shot glass into the half pint of stout and chug. Again, don’t order this at an Irish establishment.

12. Jager Bomb

Unless you’re a cloned stereotype of the person I don’t even need to describe because you know exactly who I’m talking about, don’t order this. Everyone is going to hate you. And if you are a cloned stereotype of the person I decided not to describe because everyone knows who I’m talking about, please surprise us and get something different. Like, anything.

13. Lemondrop

Except for this. No one should order this.

14. Long Island Iced Tea

The only good thing to come from Long Island; with exception to Lou Reed. This cocktail is a superb choice for anyone looking to make a fool of themselves. Make sure you give your keys to someone you trust, then have them give your keys to a random person, because if you’re irresponsible enough to be drinking Long Islands, no one you know is trustworthy enough to prevent your imminent vehicular homicide. If you’re unfamiliar with the chemical compounds of this orgy of booze, it goes as such: vodka, gin, white rum, tequila, triple sec, dash of lemon and lime, splash of cola. It’s a blackout in a collins glass.

Ladies: If you’re on a date and the guy (whom you thought was a nice guy because he wants to get in your pants) buys you this drink, leave immediately. He is trying to take advantage of you.

Actually, just don’t go on a date with any guy. They are all terrible. The only way you’ll ever be happy is by entering into a union with another female.

15. Manhattan

Order this. Unless you’re broke. It is generally expensive. Especially in Manhattan. A simple and sophisticated cocktail, the Manhattan is traditionally rye whiskey, sweet red vermouth, a dash of angostura bitters, and a maraschino cherry as garnish. Most importantly, it’s a product of American intellect and Frank Sinatra approved.

16. Martini

Gin is the spirit used in making a martini. If someone asks you if you’d like a martini and you answer “no, I don’t like vodka,” you basically just said you don’t enjoy sex with a woman because you don’t like buttholes. While sex with a woman can involve anal penetration, it’s not the original mode of operation. Gin is to a martini as vaginal penetration is to sex with a woman. If you’re into anal sex, that’s your vodka martini. I apologize for the graphic hetero­male analogy, but it’s critical you know the distinction. Now onto the specifics. The martini is another quintessential pretentious cocktail, much like the Manhattan. Made with gin and dry vermouth, it’s garnished with an olive. If you’re an amateur, you’ll substitute the olive with a lemon twist. If you ask for a pearl onion as a garnish, you just ordered a Gibson. Again, amateur.

17. Negroni

Gin, sweet red vermouth, and Campari, garnished with an orange peel. It’s an Italian creation. Not an export on par with Sophia Loren, but what is? It’s rumored to be invented by a man named Count Camillo Negroni who wanted a stronger version of the Americano. Don’t order drinks invented by someone who refers to themselves as “Count.”

18. Old Fashioned

Alright, I’ll give you a moment… An old fashioned is simply the kid’s version of a Manhattan. Instead of sweet vermouth, you get a muddled sugar cube. Just add an orange peel and voila! Now stop your womanizing, Don Draper.

19. Pimm’s Cup

It’s a whimpy British drink that you, as an American, should never drink. I won’t even list the one thousand stupid ingredients because it’s a stupid drink and it’s just too many ingredients to list even if it wasn’t a stupid drink.

20. Purple Drank

Also known as lean, sizzurp, and Texas tea, this nonsense will mess you up. There’s zero alcohol involved in this. It’s just prescription cough syrup (codeine and promethazine) mixed with Sprite or Mountain Dew, but Three 6 Mafia loves this shit and that’s enough to make the list.

21. Scotch

Whisky from Scotland. Much more badass than the British Pimm’s Cup. Scotland is technically a part of Great Britain, but whatever, I’m distinguishing the two for the sake of booze. It’s fine if you want to drink Scotch, but I highly recommend you choose Bourbon instead because duh. Also, Scotland is the only country that puts more South American snow in their nasal cavity than the States and we should be a little bitter about that.

*Also a brand of tape.

22. Sea Breeze

Eh.

23. White Russian

If you haven’t seen The Big Lebowski, then you’re out of element (if you have seen The Big Lebowski, I apologize for what I just did there). The White Russian is simply a great drink. It looks great, it tastes great, and it feels great to order. Be warned, you should only drink a maximum of two White Russians. Even the hardiest of stomachs will reject the love affair between dairy and vodka. If you get headstrong and go for the third, I feel terrible for whatever venue you’re about to ruin. Please abide (again, sorry).

WHAT WE LEARNED

• Koreans are the smartest drunks.
• You shouldn’t drink Bud Light. It’s not very good and the Anheuser ­Busch family sold it to Belgium anyway.
• If you’re going to drink whiskey, drink American whiskey. Preferably Bourbon.
• Rap is cool and American.
• Scotland must be doing a lot of cocaine.

Are you physically ready to take the levels of dimpled perfection here?

Jamie Dornan.

The simultaneous wink and dimple-flashing is doing weird things to us.

amusedeasily113.tumblr.com

Josh Holloway.

Oh we'll just admire you as you smile coyly with your dimples.

thats-bad-for-you.tumblr.com

Kellan Lutz.

Hey Kellan Lutz. Hey Kellan Lutz's dimples.

freakystuffinhere.tumblr.com

Harry Styles.

So beautiful and angelic.

vas-sappnin-babe.tumblr.com

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Walking is SO overrated.

Tui is a healthy french bulldog that has just one problem: She hates walking when it's hot outside...

Nick Murray / Via youtube.com

And prefers to be dragged instead...

Nick Murray / Via youtube.com

Life must be ruff, huh?

Nick Murray / Via youtube.com

I’ve been man-free on Twitter for six months and you can be too. I mean, it can’t make Twitter any worse at this point, right?

Ugh, amirite?

NBC

#UnfollowAMan is the hottest new movement on Twitter. Everyone loves it and is really happy about it. The idea is to empower you to find a man on your Twitter feed who has been kind of driving you nuts with his bad opinions, and unfollow his ass.

Many people have found that unfollowing men is like Pringles — you can't unfollow just one!

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Avoid using the word very. It’s probably the most abused word in the English language, because it’s simple to use very to magnify verbs, adverbs and adjectives. Rather use single words which clearly express your thoughts and make you appear smarter at the same time!

via

Lonnng overdue. Thanks Oliver.

Huff Post

Mobiliario e interiorismo también están interesados en el erotismo y lanzan sus creativas propuestas para vivirlo placenteramente.

What do you get when you take Mexico's greatest sandwich and combine it with a good ol' all-beef burger from the U.S. of A.? Why, the cemita burger, claro! Refrieds, chipotle, avocado, shredded cheese, lettuce, tomato, and more come together for this extravaganza of burger toppings. Get Recipe!

We can’t all be 5-star chefs.

Anyone whose pot is overflowing with whatever this is.

thedoctorwhorunsalone.tumblr.com

The person who is American as apple pie. Really, really messed up apple pie.

lolbrary.com

Anyone who thinks this is a valid attempt at mac and cheese.

reddit.com

The person who managed to explode an egg.

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En Historias GC recordamos a "febre do caruncho" en Galicia, da que xurdiron o Laboratorio Miguel Servet e a xigante química Zeltia.

O alucinóxeno co que prosperou a industria farmacéutica en Galicia en GCiencia.

El programa, que arranca hoy y se prolongará hasta el 29 de agosto, incluye números de música, malabares, magia, cuentacuentos, teatro o circo

• Programa completo de «Verán na Rúa»

Trátase da antiga ermida de Santo Estevo de Augas Santas ou Santo Estevo do Ermo, do século IX. A última ermitá enterrouse o 25 de febreiro de 1699.

A CIG reclama que se aumente o cadro de persoal na Coruña e sospeita que alguén na empresa pública está intentando perxudicar á propia compañía.