Snob

Thanks Mike (from Spain)

 

The post The shortest rodeo ever appeared first on Bits and Pieces.

"A child's body is very easy to live in. An adult body isn't. The change is hard. And it's such a tremendous change that it's no wonder a lot of adolescents don't know who they are. They look in the mirror — that is me? Who's me?

And then it happens again, when you're sixty or seventy."
Ursula K. Le Guin on Aging and What Beauty Really Means

Extrato editado da entrevista que José Manuel Barbosa fai ao historiador Anselmo López Carreira no 2014, na que desvenda e repasa clarificadoramente os fundamentos da história galega. Os áudios forom extraidos de: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDXIW6MN0K8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AnrqA7xXEo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6mvq0AtJUY https://www.youtube.co/watch?v=QeWNuCkvNB8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLsIq6LwUvY

El Gran Wyoming regresó ayer a La Sexta Noche como invitado. Siempre comprometido con sus ideales, el presentador de El Intermedio lanzó dardos sobre la actualidad política con una contundencia apabullante. “Parece que es más cómodo no decir estas cosas y no meterte con nadie, pero yo ya era así antes de ser conocido”, sentenció.

La entrevista de Wyoming en 30 directos titulares. Así analiza el actor y presentador la situación de España, reflexionando sobre temas como las tarjetas ‘black’, la sanidad pública o incluso el Pequeño Nicolás.

1. “Lo sorprendente es que los propios consejeros y responsables de los bancos roben a los bancos”

2. “El delito no está en la propia existencia de las tarjetas ‘black’, el delito es que han robado la caja”

3. “En la historia de Mario Conde ya se hablaba de una tarjeta de este tipo para el Rey”

4.”La justicia está haciendo dejación de funciones en España”

5. “El Gobierno nombra quien va al Supremo, al Constitucional, todo y si no eres un juez afín, tu carrera va a ser peor”

6. “Muchas veces los casos prescriben y otras veces las fechorías son de tal magnitud que son inabarcables”

7. “El estafador se queda con el dinero de sus estafas y nosotros pagamos a través de la administración”

8. “En este país tiene que haber una separación de poderes real”

9: “El orden es el siguiente: legisla y trinca. Por eso la puerta giratoria es legal”

10. “Estos señores no pueden asesorar nada porque no saben. Lo llaman puerta giratoria, pero eso es trincar”

11. “Pujol ha tenido la llave de la gobernabilidad, lo que llevó a un pacto por el que podía trincar pero no dar el coñazo. Lo de Pujol lo sabían todos de siempre”

12.”Queremos gente que administre las cosas desde la decencia y a mayor gloria y servicio de los ciudadanos”

13. “Parece que es más cómodo no decir estas cosas y no meterte con nadie, pero yo ya era así antes de ser conocido”

14. “Estos señores están cogiendo nuestra salud y la están poniendo en manos de sus colegas para que se forren”

15. “Yo invierto mi dinero en España, es más fácil llevarse el dinero a un paraíso fiscal como hacen estos señores”

16. “Yo no he defraudo, he pagado todos los impuestos que me han dicho, incluso más de lo que debía”

17. “Hay una diferencia muy grande entre lo que ocurre en la calle y lo que se habla en el Congreso”

18. “Tendrían que hacer una revisión de por qué hay tanto delincuente en la cúpula de la CEOE”

19. “La clase política trinca la pasta de la clase empresarial, de aquellos que les pagan”

20. “Los empresarios de este país creen que por el hecho de que les presenten a un político ya se han forrado”

21. “Lo del Pequeño Nicolás es un índice del país en el que vivimos, veo al chaval y no parece que tenga cara de Premio Nobel”

22. “Los únicos que hacen propaganda a los de Podemos son aquellos que les desprestigian”

23. “Pobre de aquel que se creyera el programa del PP. Rajoy conocía perfectamente la situación y aun así se presentó con un programa político falso”

24. “La imagen de los periodistas sacando al presidente en plasma es lo más humillante desde Guillermo Tell”

25 “Las palabras del Consejero de Sanidad fueron una milonga para desprestigiar a Teresa Romero”

26. “Quieren demostrar que la sanidad pública no se sostiene, pero todo se debe a una mala gestión”

27: “Antes los hospitales tenían sus laboratorios, ahora las pruebas están centralizadas en una única empresa privada”

28. “Las instituciones han tratado siempre con el mayor de los desprecios a los profesionales de la sanidad”

29: “Estoy absolutamente de acuerdo en que a los catalanes y a todos los ciudadanos se les consulte qué quieren”

30: “Jamás he dicho que haya que quemar ninguna institución ni fomentar la violencia contra nadie”

ENTREVISTA A WYOMING

El Gran Wyoming: “La felicidad de la gente debería ser una exigencia de cualquier gobierno”

Y ADEMÁS…

La política de La Sexta para ganar audiencia… y rentabilidad

La televisión Ni-Ni, el triunfo de la audiencia que no exige

Razones por las que no podríamos hacer ‘Juego de Tronos’ en España

Cuando la política no entiende la verdadera esencia de una televisión pública

13 cosas que todavía se pueden hacer gracias al Teletexto

El obstáculo de las series españolas

Current medications for depression, like SSRIs, do little to address a patient's inability to experience pleasure, a symptom known as "anhedonia." But ketamine – a recreational drug and common veterinary anesthetic – seems to offer sufferers of depression a renewed capacity for enjoyment .

Read more...

Jenna Jameson during the 2006 AVN Awards at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic.

Over the past 15 years, Jenna Jameson has gone from being the world’s most famous porn star to being a best-selling author and a mother of two. Her first memoir, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, topped the New York Times best-seller list for six weeks, and she followed that up with an erotica trilogy, the conclusion to which, Spice, comes out November 18.

Although Jameson spends her time promoting books and raising kids, she continues to prompt controversy. Last year, her messy breakup from Tito Ortiz, the father of her children, dominated headlines. While discussing the breakup and 50 Shades of Grey on Good Day New York, she infamously slurred her words. Around the same time, she said she was returning to porn via webcam to support her kids even though she had previously announced she would “never ever, ever spread my legs again in this industry.”

In the last few months, though, Jameson has made news for her advocacy work. After War Machine assaulted his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack, Jameson appeared on Dr. Drew on Call to advocate for domestic-violence victims and discuss victim blaming. “[Men] shouldn’t be taught to kill,” Jameson said. “If you’re out there on social media, support [Mack] and tell her she's a hero and a survivor.”

After reading Jameson’s erotica novel Honey, I called Jameson to discuss writing, domestic violence, and why girls refer to How to Make Love Like a Porn Star as the Bible.

VICE: What inspired your new erotica series?
Jenna Jameson: It’s a fictional book, but there’s no way that I can’t possibly derive some of the story from who I am and my experiences. At 18, I went to London to model—all by myself, scared shitless—and when I came back, I felt like a woman. I told myself, “One day, I’m gonna move to New York, even if it’s just for one year, all by myself, and just reinvent myself, and be someone else, and [learn] how that feels.” So I started this story with this girl who had that kind of a dream, and everything just kind of fell into place. I had read the whole 50 Shades of Grey deal, and you know me—I’m Jenna—so to me that was like a fluff story. It was interesting—it was sexy—but it was a fluff story. It’s kind of like watching soft porn as opposed to watching [real sex].

What will you write next?
Right now I’m working on my follow-up to How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, and I am—like always—scared shitless. [When you write] those kind of books, you’re just so raw. It’s weird because my life at the end of How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, you thought it was a fairytale ending, and my life started over again. It was so weird.

Girls love that book.
Everywhere I go, girls are like, “Jenna, come on. We need the second half of the Bible!” They call it the Bible. It’s very flattering.

Do you think girls relate to your books?
I’ve had a lot happen to me in my life, so I parallel with a lot of women. They get it—they understand the pain. They understand some of the hilarity of things like my ten commandments, deal breakers, stuff like that.

You’ve experienced drug addiction and severe trauma. Is writing therapeutic for you?
It’s a good outlet. Let me tell you—you know me, 100 percent honest—it took me about four years to write [How to Make Love Like a Porn Star]. I knew that if I was gonna write this book, I wanted it to be so real and so raw. I just wanted everything to pour out because therapy just doesn’t do it. It doesn’t do it for me because I end up debating the therapist.

Why did you decide to go public with your drug problems and about being sexually assaulted?
I can’t explain my life without the drugs. I can’t explain my life without the fact that I got raped or all those things—it’s part of me. It made me this strong girl who can get knocked down and get back up every time. I think it’s a good message to girls out there that you can get knocked down, but just get the fuck back up.

Why did you decide to start advocating for domestic-violence victims?
I have been speaking out lately about domestic violence because one of my best friends [Christy Mack] was nearly killed about a month ago. It’s sad that you have to have fame in order to get national media attention, but the same thing is happening to her that happened to other women—she’s being victimized all over again. A quick message to people out there on social media: Think before you say stuff. Because no matter how funny you might think it is, people feel those things. I remember Christy calling me from the hospital saying, “Why are they saying I deserved it because I’m a porn star?” I just couldn’t believe it. I think people really need to start changing their minds. Let’s move forward. Let’s be evolved.

You’re a big advocate for women. Does it bother you when feminists criticize you?
Feminism doesn’t have one definition. There are many, many definitions of feminism. At 18 years old, [I noticed] that this industry—the adult industry—is incredibly misogynistic, all run by men who are making the shots, telling the women what to do, and paying them next to nothing. So, I said, “As a feminist, I’m gonna go in there, and I’m gonna crack skulls, and I’ll show them how to do business.” I thought that that would empower women. I’m doing what I want, and I’m getting paid what I want, and I’m changing the industry so [men] no longer have the power—I do.

Is there a double standard when it comes to female nudity? I’ve seen people give me funny looks when I breastfeed in public.
It makes you want to get a brick and smash those people. It makes no sense to me. Why can a man go to the beach and take off his shirt and we have to worry about, “Oh my gosh, too much leg, too much this. Gotta wear pantyhose!” You know what? I’ll shove these pantyhose in your mouth and duct tape them. 

Besides advocating for women’s rights and working on your next book, what else are you working on right now?
I am actually working on an art gallery opening, so I’m painting. I’m so excited about it. I’ve always been able to draw. My dad drew, and my brother's a tattoo artist. I just never really thought about it, but when I found my sobriety, I found that painting and writing really, really helped. It calms you and lets the creative juices flow.

I’m also working on a documentary, and I’m doing it all myself. I’m shooting the whole thing myself in mixed media. I just want people to know the real deal. I really just want people to see the raw, real stuff that us girls go through, because trust me, just because I’m “Jenna Jameson the porn star” does not mean I don’t have the exact same shit: the insecurity, the worries. I haven’t got laid in nine months, you know?

Your life is way different than what people imagine.
I have hours [of footage] of me just looking into the computer crying and going, “What am I doing?” This is the stuff that girls need to see; it’s not all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. I’m scared of it, but I’m proud of it, and I’m already thinking of my next book after that. Now that I’m older, writing is so important to me. I think every girl and every guy out there should keep a journal next to their bed. It’s so important.

Check out Jenna Jameson's erotica trilogy here. 

Follow Alexis Neiers on Twitter. 

Jeff Quitney has curated hundreds and hundreds* of YouTube playlists with thousands and thousands of vintage educational, training and institutional films and documentaries. If you hate multi-link posts you can jump right in because the playlists aren't organized. In addition to including extensive background information and links to other resources in the video descriptions, he has restored or improved the video and audio in most of the films. Space, the military, and biology are well represented, but so are pets, food, and outdoor recreation and survival. Armchair travelers will be able to travel around the world, but you can also stay at home and watch cartoons. Travel back in time for the latest breaking newsreels, and add your own weather reports from vintage USAF meteorology films. And if you like women's tennis, then you've just hit the motherlode.*I stopped counting at 480

Here's a very, very, very brief overview:

• Maps, Cartography, Arial Photography (27 videos), including Caught Mapping (1940 - General Motors)

• Movies - Classic Film Bloopers, Etc. (22 videos), including Breakdowns of 1941 (1941 - Warner Bros.)

• Education, School, Students, Study, Tests (20 videos), including Education Is Good Business (1947 - United States Chamber of Commerce)

• Kitchen, Dining, Appliances, etc. (36 videos), including Microwave Ovens: Preparation of Foods Stone Age to Space Age (1965 - Litton Industries)

• Worlds Fairs, Expositions, Circuses (20 videos), including New York World's Fair: Sinclair at the World's Fair (1965 - Sinclair Refining Company)

• Bioastronautics/Space Medicine, including Chimp Astronauts Pioneers of the Vertical Frontier (1967 - USAF Aeromedical Research Lab)

• Technologies, Misc. (74 videos), including Rube Goldberg: Something for Nothing (1940 - GM How Gasoline is Converted to Engine Power)

• Flying: Air Travel (30 videos), including The Airport in the Jet Age (1962 - Encyclopaedia Britannica Films)

• Industrial Design and Engineering (6 videos), including Chevrolet Presents: American Look (1958 - General Motors Populuxe)

• Safety and Accident Prevention (19 videos), including Safety for Children: Live and Learn (1951 - Sid Davis Productions)

• Travel Roads to Romance Chevrolet Travelogues 1949-1951 (14 videos), including Coral Gables Florida Travel: Roads to Romance (1950 - Chevrolet)

*I stopped counting at 480

(There's obviously a lot of problematic stuff in here, especially in the mysogny department, so I tried not to link to anything that appeared to be overtly awful. In other words, there's a ton of "homemaking" type of videos that aren't represented in this post that are interesting and worth watching.)

Renunciará a su acta de concejal en Santiago para ocupar el cargo que dejó César Aja, exalcalde de Viveiro, destinado en la embajada en Bulgaria

• Reyes Leis se disculpa ante Agustín Hernández por la multa de la ORA

Alfonso Rueda sostiene que no entiende como un premio al ex alcalde su incorporación como delegado de Tragsa en Galicia, sino como el cierre de su etapa en el Ayuntamiento

• AGE ve «impresentable en democracia» las recolocaciones de Currás y Juárez

Vaixela fina importada de A Rioxa ou Turquía, ánforas de Grecia, viños de Siria, olivas en conserva ou aceites de Italia... Todos produtos caros e de luxo que eran consumidos habitualmente na vila romana de Currás e que demostran non só un considerable poder económico, senón tamén a existencia dunha importante rede comercial a longa distancia, fundamentalmente marítima e fluvial, que “conectaba directamente o asentamento co resto do mundo mediterráneo”.

O cambio de hora mantén a Galicia cun retraso sobre o sol, pero o peor son os horarios diarios, únicos no mundo e con xornadas de traballo interminables

Horarios para tolear en GCiencia.

O ex rexedor compostelán, imputado por tráfico de influencias no caso Pokemon, deixará a súa acta de concelleiro para dirixir en Galicia esta empresa pública, cun soldo mesmo superior ao que recibía como alcalde. Coa súa marcha, 8 dos 13 edís do PP non terán sido elixidos pola cidadanía.

La cultura recorta cultura cuando las cuentas no salen. En 2013, el Instituto Cervantes tomó la decisión de recortar drásticamente las actividades destinadas a la difusión de la cultura: menos proyecciones de cine, menos ciclos de conferencias, mesas redondas y coloquios, menos exposiciones de arte, menos conciertos y teatro, menos congresos, festivales ferias, semanas culturales, cursos, talleres y concursos.

La institución, creada en 1991 para velar por “la promoción y la enseñanza de la lengua española” y “realizar actividades de difusión cultural”, ha quedado a un paso de la congelación. Nunca hasta el momento había incumplido con sus propias previsiones para el año, tal y como queda reflejado en el BOE en el que se especifican los balances de la casa dirigida por Víctor García de la Concha.

“Para ahorrar 14 millones hemos tenido que recortar en actividades”, explican desde la institución a este periódico. “Cómo vamos a mantener toda esa actividad con un recorte en las aportaciones del Estado como la que hemos sufrido en 2013 y la difusión de la cultura, lógicamente, nos cuesta dinero”. El Ministerio de Asuntos Exteriores y Cooperación ha recortado 28,1 millones de euros en transferencias, de 79,5 ha pasado a ingresar 51,4 millones de euros.

Caída de ingresos

El año anterior el recorte no fue tan duro (7,6 millones de euros) y se mantuvieron las previsiones de difusión de la cultura en español. Tampoco hubo una pérdida de 19 millones como éste, apenas llegó al millón. Por si fuera poco, en 2012 se ingresaron 36,9 millones de euros en actividad comercial. En 2013, las cuentas, para redondear el drama de la financiación y el colapso, caen en 3,7 millones de euros en este capítulo. Otra consecuencia: los profesores, paradójicamente, son los que peor parte se han llevado en el recorte de la plantilla. El español ha perdido demanda.

“Estamos en los mínimos funcionariales”, explican fuentes del Cervantes, “a las cinco apagamos el aire acondicionado y ya no viajamos como antes, ahora, vídeo conferencia”. El ahorro también ha sido inédito: de 56,4 millones de gastos de gestión ordinaria ha pasado a 42,4 millones de euros. Sin embargo, todavía hay aspectos de otros tiempos, como los cinco conductores en plantilla de la sede de Madrid. “El director tiene categoría de Secretario de Estado”, justifican. Y el secretario general, también tiene coche oficial.    

De esta manera, se habían previsto 3.070 proyecciones de cine, pero sólo se consumaron 2.251, algo más de 800 menos. El año anterior se preveía proyectar 2.661 y se llegaron a las 2.882. En 2011, lo mismo: menos ambiciosos en sus planes (2.475) y más eficaces (3.067). La dirección había previsto también realizar 1.200 conferencias, que se quedaron en 1.022; pensaron que harían 390 exposiciones y fueron 78 menos; apuntaron a 650 conciertos de música, pero realizaron 274 menos; en teatro, en vez de 400 fueron 296; lo mismo para congresos, festivales, ferias, semanas culturales, que se quedaron en 201 a pesar de tener previstas 300.

Los ejercicios se diseñan con las cantidades de los Presupuestos Generales sobre la mesa, el Instituto Cervantes sabía que tenía 28,1 millones de euros menos para su actividad. A pesar de los datos que señalan que no han cumplido ninguno de los objetivos que se habían marcado, desde la entidad contradicen los números: “No hemos echado el freno, lo que pasa es que la demanda es menor. Cuando se formularon los presupuestos de 2012 y 2013 no consideraron la crisis en algunos de nuestros mercados más importantes, como Grecia, donde hemos sufrido una pérdida de negocio de 1.000 alumnos de DELE menos. Esto ocurre, sobre todo, en países del sur”.  

Una gran academia de idioma

Desde 2012 no se han cerrado sedes y se han abierto algunas aulas en Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta y Seúl. Para invertir el orden de la financiación y consumar la autofinanciación, y mantener las actividades que eviten que el Instituto Cervantes se convierta, exclusivamente, en una gran cadena de academias de idioma español repartida por todo el mundo, es imprescindible la atracción de empresas patrocinadoras. Los datos de 2013 son ridículos: Telefónica aportó la cantidad 300.000 euros, la Fundación Repsol 15.000 euros, Fundación Iberdrola 70.000 euros y el Grupo Mahou 12.500 euros. Curiosamente, el centro de Manila recibió una subvención del Ministerio de Educación, Cultura y Deporte por 65.000 euros.

“Cuando en el año 2013 sufrimos un recorte presupuestario del 37% nos planteamos qué es lo que podíamos hacer, puesto que, por ejemplo, en el año 1997 el Cervantes tenía 90 millones de subvención”, explicó García de la Concha en el Congreso de los Diputados, el pasado día 7 de octubre. Entonces reconoció el hecho: “Yo pido que los señores diputados comprendan que hemos tenido que afrontar una rebaja muy importante, que lo hemos hecho recortando ciertamente actividades”, y añadió que el 65% de las actividades corrieron a cargo de “los países iberoamericanos”. El rescate viene de México.

También apuntó otra carencia que debe asumir la entidad: “La formación presencial, la enseñanza de una lengua de manera presencial, está decreciendo en todas las lenguas”. Otros motivos para la pérdida de alumnos -de ingresos- es que, dice, la oferta gratuita en la red ha crecido. Y otra razón más: “A la sombra del Cervantes, en cuanto este se instala en una ciudad, empiezan a surgir centros de iniciativa privada, porque encuentran allí un campo abonado para su desarrollo”.

Descapitalizar el Instituto

El director de la entidad avanzaba que para 2015 el Estado ha incrementado en 4 millones de euros las transferencias (54,2 en total). “Ello nos permitirá incrementar la dotación de personal en casi 3 millones de euros”, anunciaba. También aseguró que se cubriría 43 plazas vacantes y, por último, que incrementaría los ingresos en un 2,6% gracias al proyecto que tiene con el Ministerio de Justicia para “la puesta en marcha y la gestión de las pruebas de lengua e integración cultural requeridas para la obtención de la nacionalidad española”. Sin embargo, los planes de austeridad continúan por la plantilla: si en 2012 era de 1.126, De la Concha anuncia ante los diputados que la va a dejar el próximo año en 1.061.

Y señaló la gran partida con la que saneará las maltrechas cuentas: “Por último, incluimos los ingresos procedentes de la venta de edificios en 2015, por importe de 4,3 millones de euros”. “En Londres, el Cervantes tenía un contrato enfitéutico para utilizar un edificio propiedad del duque de Westminster. La embajada de Bélgica entregó a la institución 16 millones de libras por la cesión de ese contrato con validez hasta 2045. “Para el próximo ejercicio hemos incluido en el presupuesto la venta del centro de Bruselas, que ha sido tasado en 3,2 millones de euros. Lo habíamos adquirido por 2,2 millones”. En Sao Paulo tienen varios pisos de un edificio del que venderían uno de ellos para sacar 1,8 millones de euros. En Varsovia tienen en venta el edificio por 3,7 millones de euros. El español crece, el Cervantes mengua.

Este hecho genera periódicamente un intenso debate sobre sus repercusiones tanto biológicas como económicas

Los campos de fútbol emergen como una alternativa a todo tipo de celebraciones: bodas, bautizos, cumpleaños, y hasta puedes depositar tus cenizas. Te lo cuenta YES, la revista gallega de Gente, Creatividad y Tendencias

En Brasil es mucho más frecuente en el cáncer de pene que en Europa. Pero ¿qué tiene que ver esto con la zoofilia? Para los veinte médicos que firmaron una investigación en The Journal of Sexual Medicine en octubre de 2011 podría haber cierta relación.

A pesar de que las encuestas sexuales distan de ser un método fiable para introducirse en la alcoba, en una encuesta a 492 hombres de entre 18 y 80 años que procedían de regiones rurales y pobres de Brasil, casi el 35 % admitió haber mantenido penetrado a un animal o varios. De esos 492 hombres, 18 sufrían cáncer de pene.

En el estudio se correlaciona que los hombres que habían mantenido más relaciones sexuales con animales sufrían cáncer de pene.

Los animales predilectos para fornicar, por orden de preferencia, son las yeguas, las burras, los mulos, las cabras, las gallinas, las terneras, las vacas, los perros y las perras, los corderos y las ovejas, los cerdos y las gorrinas. Casi el 40 % de los hombres que confiesan haber fornicado con animales lo hacen a menudo, al menos una vez a la semana.

Pero ¿qué relación podría haber entre cáncer de pene y cáncer de pene? Lo explica así Pierre Barthélémy en su libro Crónicas de ciencia improbable:

En primer lugar, el contacto frecuente con las mucosas animales y los microbios que las pueblan, y en segundo lugar, al empezar su vida sexual introduciendo el miembro viril en orificios que no están realmente adaptados a él, los zoófitos pueden multiplicar los microtraumatismos, le que les expondrá más a la enfermedad. Los amores bestiales se revelan, pues, como amistades peligrosas. En la mayoría de los casos, el tratamiento de la enfermedad implica una amputación parcial o total de la verga.

Imagen | The Pug Father

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La noticia Advertencias para los que practican la zoofilia fue publicada originalmente en Xataka Ciencia por Sergio Parra .

La semana que viene es una fecha especialmente señalada en las frikiagendas de todos los otakus ibéricos: se celebra el XX Salón del Manga de Barcelona


Pero este no es un blog de noticias, así que no esperéis un anarroseo de la programación o del listado de invitados. Preferimos aprovechar la ocasión para volver la vista atrás y retroceder hasta 1995, cuando se celebró la primera edición de este evento, entre la incomprensión del fandom más madurito, que clamaba que, ya habiendo un Salón del Cómic, pa qué. Cels Piñol lo vio y lo contó así:

TLC has cancelled “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo” in the wake of TMZ’s revealing that “Mama June” is currently dating a convicted child molester, Mark McDaniel, who, ugh, just got out of prison in March– where he served 10 years for having forced oral sex on one of her relatives, a 8-year-old girl. Which is just about the grossest thing I have ever heard in my life. Ugh.

The network basically decided that by continuing the show–which the family is paid for–they would be complicit in child endangerment. Although they have filmed several episodes already for the new season, those episodes will not air.

They are not, however, abandoning the children. Which is cool as hell of them, honestly. TLC states that they will continue paying for tutors and counselors for the children, stating “Supporting the health and welfare of these remarkable children is our only priority.  TLC is faithfully committed to the children’s ongoing comfort and well-being.”

Mama June maintains that she is not dating McDaniel. TLC clearly didn’t believe her, but holy shit, I truly hope she isn’t. I truly hope that this man will not be allowed anywhere near her daughters.

This whole thing is deeply sad. I admit I’ve only seen one season of “Honey Boo-Boo”–and as gross as I think child pageants are, I honestly felt like they were basically nice people who happened to have an interest I did not share. I actually kind of dug Mama June as a person. I feel gross about that now. And sad.

I hope the kids are OK, and that social services will be checking up on them and following through on this.

 

All photos by Julian Lucas

As much as we enjoy it, we take porn for granted. Most of us use it often enough, but we never think about the work that goes into making a good piece of pornography—the camera angles, the lighting, the acting, and yes, even the script. But there is an art to writing a porn screenplay, as I learned when Kayden Kross and her fiancé, Manuel Ferrara, invited me along to shadow and observe the porn script-writing and production process from start to finish.

I met Kayden and Manuel at a hookah bar in Los Angeles, their location of choice for brainstorming. Porn is the family business, and it was easy to see why they’ve had such continued success: They bounced off each other with a mixture of shared ideas and compromise, and their adoration for one another was evident.

On this particular evening they were working on an assignment for Jules Jordan Video: Manuel was set to direct and star in a DP film, a co-production with Manuel Ferrara Productions. That stands for “double penetration,” in case you didn't already know, which means a single female performer would be getting simultaneously anally and vaginally penetrated. (It doesn't sound sexy when you say it like that, I know.) A whole lot of coordination is required to execute a DP scene, and Manuel is known for having done a lot of them with a 53-year-old German porn star called Steve Holmes (who, in his own words, is best known "for being old and creepy and having a big dick"). The choreography is complicated, Kayden explained—the guy on top is responsible for working around the “anchor” on the bottom. But Manuel and Steve have a good handle on it, which is why they’d been invited to do another, three years after their last movie together.

Kayden and Manuel began the writing process by setting “parameters,” or outlining the type of sex they'd have to include. In this instance, they were tasked with plotting out four DP scenes with four different girls, which would take place over the course of two and a half or three hours. They mentioned that the story is not normally of consequence, nor is the dialogue. As Kayden told me, “At the end of the day they want what makes them aroused—so if the dialogue contributes to that, great, but 70 percent fast-forward through it.”

But viewers do want some backbone of a story. “It’s important that they can jerk off with what’s around the sex, as well as just the act itself,” Manuel said.

For the DP project with Manuel and Steve, they wanted something lighthearted. “I’m thinking Dude, Where’s My Car? meets Cinderella,” Kayden suggested. Basically, two guys wake up after a big night of DPing a really hot girl. Eager to track her down for a repeat, they head out and trial-DP a couple of other girls. Unable to pinpoint who the elusive girl is, they return home only to find she’s been at home fucking their roommate the whole time.

“A twist!” I shouted, prompting Manuel to make a joke about being “the M. Night Shyamalan of porn.”

But Manuel ultimately didn't like the idea, so the brainstorming continued—they wanted a decent storyline, but needed to take into account the average porn consumer's relative disinterest in the plot. Then this conversation happened:

Manuel: What about Cinderella meets Unbreakable?
Kayden: So, you and Steve are superheroes?
Manuel: Yeah, but every time he does it, he breaks his penis.
Kayden: How about we do Groundhog Day meets—
Manuel: No, no.
Kayden: Let’s do The Taming of the Shrew, where there are four shrews!

They were in hysterics at this point.

“The thing is that every story has already been told," Kayden said to me. "There are only so many archetypes—everything kicks back to another previously told story.” She rattled off a few narratives she’d like to bring in, including a porn rendition of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. Adapting a classic wouldn’t be simple, though, since you usually have just four weeks from a film's conception to its completion—spending any more time on production is simply a waste of money thanks to the economics of the porn industry.

“The moment your content hits the internet, it’s stolen,” she told me, referencing the various free tube sites that pilfer their work. “There’s such high consumption. We’re dealing with tiny budgets largely because of this.”

Perhaps it’s because of this that Manuel’s idea of pulling it back to realism ended up winning out. “I’d like to come up with our own stuff," he said. "It’s not supposed to be this hugely complex thing where people get to the end and go, Oh, I didn’t see that coming.” And with that, they landed on a simple idea: a celebratory DP to welcome Steve Holmes (who is based in Europe) back to America.

The story wasn't far from what would have been a reality for Manuel and Steve some 15 years ago.

“It makes it more lively and more realistic,” he said, going off of an earlier suggestion of Kayden’s that they make something that doesn't seem overly acted. ("Realistic" for porn actors may not be realistic to you and me, however—like the time when Steve had just finished shooting a DP scene and walked outside to find Manuel recreationally DPing his makeup artist.)

Having settled on the idea, Kayden and Manuel scribbled down a few ideas for DP sequences and a scene that would serve as "the tease," a necessary element in every porn movie, where the girl instigates the arousal by stripping, flirting with the camera, playing with herself, and whatever else works. “It’s an art to build a tease in there without looking like we just slapped it on,” Manuel explained.

Just hours later, Manuel DPs Them All was written. They planned to shoot this in a matter of days; pre-production was already almost done. 

“What’s backwards about porn versus Hollywood is that we already have our locations booked for three out of the four days,” Kayden said. “We have a really nice house booked, then another one with eighties furniture. We know for the most part that we can only really shoot in a studio or a house. We can’t exactly shut down Hollywood Boulevard.”

They'd booked ahead of time in order to snag the best locations. These spots would set a production company back around $100 to $300 per hour. For the homeowner, it’s not a bad way to simultaneously pay off a mortgage and have something fun to talk about at your next dinner party.

A few days later, I met up with them on set, where Manuel DPs Them All would come to life. The script was basically what they'd come up with at the hookah spot, with just one scene tweaked. When Manuel wasn't on screen, he was operating the camera because (a) he’s very good at it and (b) this was a gonzo film—a style that attempts to situate the viewer in the scene with the performers. In lieu of formally constructed dialogue and direction, the performers largely improvised—sort of like a Christopher Guest film, only not quite as funny and with a lot of sex. 

As far as the actual DPing goes, there was a vague plan—they knew which positions they wanted to showcase, and in which order—but the actual fucking is an art. It's difficult when you have two penises attempting to penetrate two orifices in one girl with limited space for the attached bodies to maneuver. I pressed Manuel on the logistics.

“It can be very easy or very difficult, depending on who you work with,” he told me. “Steve and I have been doing this for so many years that it’s almost natural. Usually it works better to put him underneath, and he likes to be underneath. But if you work with inexperienced guys it can be a nightmare.” Later, when I was sitting with the editor (whom we’ll call “Tom”), he pointed out the imperative of “creating the piston motion” and praised Manuel and Steve for their perfect execution.

I sat for a while with Tom, staring at a screen filled with Manuel, Steve, a bunch of girls, and a whole lot of sex. My mind was fuzzy and full of genitals, but Tom walked me through his process like he was showing me different tiles I could use to line my kitchen. “I mean, I’ve done around a thousand of these,” he said. “I’m very detached. I have to be.”

Manuel DPs Them All is now on JulesJordan.com, so go ahead and buy it if you like.

Follow Shanrah Wakefield on Twitter.

Today in things that need to get off my lawn: The Collins English Dictionary, published by Harper-Collins, after conducting a vote on Twitter has announced that it will add the word “adorkable” to the dictionary, in addition to 50,000 other words. Including “al desko”–which I have never heard of, and which apparently means to eat at one’s desk at work. Huh.

Although the word, which they define as “socially inept or unfashionable in a charming or endearing way” was popularized by the television show “The New Girl” for the purposes of describing 34 year-old adult woman Zooey Deschanel, Collins researchers say that it has been in use—-on Twitter—since 2007.

I am not a linguistic prescriptivist. Language changes and evolves over time and I think that is a wonderful and fascinating and beautiful thing. I mean, Middle English is fine for Chaucer and certain Child Ballads, but it would be weird if we were all still talking like that after hundreds of years.

Besides, I don’t think you can say that something is simply a “made-up word”–I mean, all words are made up words. They were all made up by somebody. I once thought I made up the word “sarcaustic” and was terribly sad when I Googled and realized several people had come up with it before me.

However, “adorkable” is maybe the grossest word I have ever come across. I would venture to say that it is grosser than “moist,” “hubby” and “baby bump” put together. It is insidious. There is nothing more vulgar than an adult who finds themselves adorable. Except, perhaps, an adult who finds themselves “adorkable.” Unless the former involves speaking in baby-talk, of course, then all bets are off the table.

It’s mostly just kind of depressing that the people voted, and they voted for “adorkable.”

To be fair, this may also have something to do with the fact that I cannot stand Zooey Deschanel, primarily for hair-related reasons. I have had this haircut and color for far longer than she has (and have pictures of me at age five to prove it), and I will not be ceding it to her no matter how many douchey guys in bars try to tell me I look like her, which I do not. I played the ukulele for about ten years before she took it up, and I had to cede that on the grounds that she made it cutesy, but my haircut stays. And it is not fucking “adorkable.”

YouTube Link

George Dvorsky at i09 compiled a list of his suggestions for the top 100 songs having to do with science fiction.This comes after their prior list of the top 100 essential albums for science fiction fans. Do you own any of the songs and/or albums listed? I have a fair amount. Porno for Pyros is part of my music collection — I've worn that CD out over the years, as well as Jane's Addiction's stuff. Beasties too.(Video/song above NSFW, language.) 

YouTube Link

10 days ago, Twitter user ryooneokrock1 sent out this image of his pet rabbit serving as a smartphone case. That triggered a wave of similar images across Japan and China. Brian Ashcraft of Kotaku has a roundup of some of the cutest photos in the meme. He denies that the rabbits' ears improve the signal strength, but that claim should be subjected to empirical testing.

La feria internacional de música, con sede en Santiago, llega a su ecuador

Today at Underwhelming Lovecraft Comic Synopses is one of Lovecraft’s earliest stories. “Dagon” was first published in the November, 1919 issue of The Vagrant. 

Hola, ¿somos todos católicos cuando el avión se va a estrellar? creo que sí, no importa que creas o no, has crecido con esa realidad, en una cultura donde no te obligan a creer en Dios pero en donde se habla de Dios constantemente, ya sea mediante expresiones cotidianas que poco tienen que ver con la fe o con ser creyente o con doctrinas de fe.

Yo no estoy bautizada pero eso no ha evitado que en mi casa se oyera “si Dios quiere”, “está en manos de Dios” o cosas así. Pues con el machismo pasa un pocomucho lo mismo, no me considero para nada machista pero repito expresiones, pensamientos e incluso actos machistas. No me siento orgullosa de ello y quiero cambiarlo, no sé si habrá más tías como yo pero os dejo algunas perlas mías por si sirve de algo.

Carlos Javier de Borbón Parma, hijo del histórico líder del Partido Carlista, inicia una visita de dos días a la capital gallega