Shared posts

21 Jan 13:53

Since I was born?

by John Allison

Christmas comes early for Charlotte, she’s found her perfect problem person. And Christmas will come early for you too, dear reader, as due to a terrible accident of scheduling, the Solver Christmas story will run in the early summer. If I hadn’t done Savage Sword of Susan and two lots of NEMS, it would have neatly landed in December 2025. In my defence (and this may not be mitigation), I hadn’t started thinking about what was in it until about October last year. But keep a bit of tinsel handy for June.

The post Since I was born? appeared first on Bad Machinery.

21 Jan 03:15

Emboldened Mark Carney delivers encore WEF speech about TFSA planning

by Ian MacIntyre

DAVOS, SWITZERLAND – Following a headline-making address about middle powers of the world uniting against hegemonic power, an amped up Mark Carney returned to the stage for a fiery encore speech about maximizing tax free savings accounts. “TFSAs offer the flexibility to save for many goals in one account! Throw ya hands in the air!” […]

The post Emboldened Mark Carney delivers encore WEF speech about TFSA planning appeared first on The Beaverton.

21 Jan 03:14

#Ryo #RoninWarriors

21 Jan 03:14

Nature’s Sour Candy! 🍬 (Lemonade Berry)

by BlackForager
21 Jan 02:36

am I wrong to be put off that my former employee didn’t tell me she was listing me as a reference?

by Ask a Manager

A reader writes:

Twice in the past year, I’ve been asked to provide a reference for a former report, “Enid.” I hired Enid in mid-2019 and she reported to me until mid-2021 when my role changed. I think she left the organization at the end of 2022. She was an incredible employee: shining in the position and tapped on the shoulder for extra projects that highlighted her skills. Absolute pleasure to work with in every way.

In February 2024, Enid asked if I could be a reference for her, and I was happy to oblige. I did so, provided a positive reference, and let her know afterwards. We’ve not had contact since.

Just last month, I received a voicemail saying that Enid has listed me as a reference, and could we arrange a time to talk. Different organization, different position. This one had an added layer of security questions, as well as standard interview questions. As Enid was a great employee, I was happy to oblige, but … she never asked me about this. I’ve had zero contact with her since she asked for the reference in 2024 and I confirmed it had happened. This new reference had a very high security clearance attached to it, and one of the first comments the interviewer made was to please keep this confidential from Enid. I should have asked if it was the content or the entire discussion, but I am erring on the side of caution and not reaching out to her at all. I did not tell them that she had not contacted me about this; they may have been able to read between the lines, however (“I am on medical leave, so I don’t have access to specific dates …” “I haven’t connected with Enid very recently …” “My leave started before Enid left so I don’t know her exact reason for leaving …”).

So, now to my questions.

• Am I wrong to expect a courtesy heads-up before being used as a potential reference for each round of job applications? Enid has shared my personal phone and email, as I am on medical leave — I told her this in February 2024. My medical situation could have worsened in the interim and made it impossible for me to provide a reference now. However, ignoring that, I am still a little put out that I had no warning.

• Just to sound incredibly old, “in my day” we would have sent a quick thank-you after somebody told us “I gave you a positive reference” and I was mildly put out when Enid didn’t do that in February 2024. Do I need to update my etiquette expectations to this century?

• Is it appropriate to reach out to Enid about this? And if so, how should I word it, considering how infrequently this occurs, and that the most recent occurrence was confidential for security reasons? She was an amazing employee and I will always be able to give that reference positively, but to me this gap in alerting me to the possibility of somebody reaching out feels like a misstep she should know about.

It’s happened a few times over the years where I’ve been used as a reference without being asked. It surprises me each time, and I guess I would appreciate some general guidance around if it’s ever appropriate to bring that fact to the attention of the caller. If it matches the working patterns of the individual, I have less qualms mentioning it.

Yes, ideally people would give you a heads-up when they’re offering you as a reference — but there are reference checks that go outside of the list provided by the candidate and contact previous managers whether they were suggested as an “official” reference or not. That’s especially true of jobs with a heavy security clearance component. So first and foremost, Enid may not have had any idea that this job was going to contact you, and you should not penalize her for it. If she was amazing employee, you should give her an amazing reference and be happy to do it, end of story.

It’s also true that people do sometimes offer references without alerting the reference that it’s coming … and honestly, that’s not something to hold against them either! It’s in the candidate’s best interests to alert you — so they know you’re available, and so you have time to organize and refresh your thoughts and don’t sound confused or taken off-guard when you get the call — but that doesn’t mean that they’re wronging you if they don’t do it. It is considered a professional nicety to give references a heads-up — but many people job-search so infrequently or don’t go delving deeply into job-search advice that they don’t even realize that’s expected. Or they think that the initial “yes, of course you can put my name down” covers them permanently. The convention that it’s best to alert references on every fresh round of job-searching is just a convention, and it’s not one everyone is aware of. So it’s a really mild faux pas at most, not a significant misstep.

If you prefer that people handle it differently, you can of course tell them that! It’s fine to say, “By the way, I wasn’t expecting the call — I’m always happy to give you a reference, but I can do a better job if you let me know if might be coming so I have time to organize my thoughts.” (You can’t say that in this case because you were asked to keep the reference check confidential — although frankly you may or may not truly be bound by that — but you can say it generally.)

And yes, Enid should have thanked you for the earlier positive reference — it’s smart for her to do that just from a basic relationship maintenance perspective — but I don’t think that’s a huge misstep either. It’s a social/business nicety that she skipped — but ultimately, she was an excellent employee and part of your job as the manager of an excellent employee is to continue to attest to that even if she forgets to thank you.

I think something that’s muddling your thinking here is that you’re conflating “things that are smart for a candidate to do” with “things that a candidate must do.” It’s smart for Enid to check in with you before listing you as a reference, and it’s smart for her to thank you when you tell her you gave her a glowing reference (because relationship maintenance with people who give her glowing references is beneficial to her) … but her not doing those things just means she’s skipping some relatively minor stuff that would be in her best interests, not that she’s slighting you in any way.

The post am I wrong to be put off that my former employee didn’t tell me she was listing me as a reference? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

21 Jan 02:35

A secret laboratory that makes bowling pins.

A secret laboratory that makes bowling pins.

21 Jan 02:35

Sure!

Sure!

21 Jan 02:32

Victoria Beckham Asks Reddit To Explain Beckham Family Feud To Her

by The Onion Staff

LONDON—Determined to get to the bottom of the highly publicized estrangement, fashion designer Victoria Beckham reportedly took to Reddit Tuesday to anonymously ask for someone to explain the Beckham family feud to her. “Sorry, I’m feeling kind of out of the loop here, could someone explain what’s going on with the son?” the 51-year-old Beckham wrote in a thread on the r/popculturechat forum, refreshing the page as she waited for another user to help fill her in on the details. “If you ask me, it kind of just seems like the son Brooklyn is acting like a spoiled brat, but am I wrong? Is there part of the drama I missed? And what’s up with his wife? Nichola? Nikola? Is she famous or something, because I really don’t get her deal at all.” At press time, sources confirmed Beckham was no closer to understanding the family feud.

The post Victoria Beckham Asks Reddit To Explain Beckham Family Feud To Her appeared first on The Onion.

21 Jan 02:31

Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle

by The Onion Staff

WASHINGTON—Expressing deep fondness for those long-gone halcyon days, the U.S. population collectively yearned Tuesday for the relative calm of the “president is a giant pedophile” news cycle. “It was a simpler time then, back when all people wanted to talk about was the leader of the country molesting underage girls,” said Denver resident Scott Munoz, one of millions of Americans who noted the comparative peacefulness of the public discourse that surrounded Donald Trump possibly using his friendship with the late sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein to prey on helpless minors and contrasted it with the current tumult marked by the president undermining global alliances in pursuit of Greenland, unlawfully capturing Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, and encouraging the violence of ICE agents. “I’m not saying everything was perfect when all the country cared about was the commander-in-chief groping prepubescent girls, but nowadays it’s almost quaint to think that we were once so concerned that the president had signed an incriminating letter about secretly being attracted to children, and that his signature was intended to double as the pubes on a lewd drawing. Lately, when I hear about ICE murdering people in the streets, I know I shouldn’t have taken that time for granted.” Munoz added that if he had to choose an island, he would choose Pedophile over Greenland any day.

The post Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle appeared first on The Onion.

21 Jan 02:31

Two-Star Michelin Restaurant Given One-Star Hygiene Rating

by The Onion Staff

Ynyshir, a Welsh restaurant with two Michelin stars, has been given a one star hygiene rating by food standards inspectors, with the chef responding to the score by claiming he has “the highest standards in the world.” What do you think?

“That’s why I only eat at restaurants with three Michelin stars.”

Katherine Bontemps, Microwave Chef

“Hygiene is just as subjective as taste.”

Blake Orr, Systems Analyst

“If people can drop $650 on a dining experience, they can definitely pay for an ER visit.”

Otto Holman, Nautical Consultant

The post Two-Star Michelin Restaurant Given One-Star Hygiene Rating appeared first on The Onion.

21 Jan 02:30

Trump tells everyone not to worry about his large box labeled “Plans to Take Over the World”

by Jacob McArthur Mooney

WASHINGTON, D.C. – With President Trump sharing an image of Canada, Venezuela, and Greenland as captured U.S. territory, journalists are starting to ask follow up questions about his large, ominous box on which “Plans to Take Over the World” had been written in sharpie. The curious box appeared sometime overnight, along with a new map […]

The post Trump tells everyone not to worry about his large box labeled “Plans to Take Over the World” appeared first on The Beaverton.

21 Jan 02:30

The Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms

by Jack Loftus

“As support for abolishing ICE grows among Democratic voters, party leadership continues to argue for reform instead.” —Salon

- - -

The Delegation to the Wall

When word reached King’s Landing that the dead were stirring beyond the Wall, the brave Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms sent a delegation north. They did not bring dragonglass, nor men for the Night’s Watch, nor coin to repair the Wall where it wept with meltwater. They brought parchment marked with sternly written words.

The Lord Commander thanked them while a savage wind cut through his heavy cloak and the dead moaned incessantly down below. The letters expressed concern about the White Walkers, but urged restraint. They reminded the Wildlings, should they be listening, that their murderous behavior did not represent who the Realm was. The delegation stayed long enough to be seen shivering as they glanced briefly northward, then rode south, satisfied that the issue had been thoroughly acknowledged.

The Edict on Names

As the dead marched inexorably south, nearly 90 percent of the Realm insisted on calling them monsters, abominations, and evil incarnate. The Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms cautioned against such language.

They proposed referring to the White Walkers as “nontraditional state actors” and urged all to consider how such incendiary labels might escalate tensions.

A Listening Tour in the Riverlands

Deep in the Riverlands, smallfolk had begun to vanish. Some were taken by raiders, some by famine, some by dark creatures in the dead of night that no one dared name aloud. The Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms arrived with colorful tents and an ancient octogenarian septon to advise them, and asked the people to speak freely.

The people did. They spoke of burned fields and stolen children and soldiers who took innocence first and paid for their crimes never. One man said his wife had been dragged into the river at dusk and came back wrong. A woman said the gods had turned their faces away.

The Democrats nodded gravely while promising nothing concrete, as was their way. A framework for a peace plan was developed. Later, in a warm hall with wine, crisp capons, and steaming boar that fell easily from the bone, the Democrats agreed the suffering was real, but the language around it needed softening.

The Brief Matter of the Wildlings

Many in Westeros demanded that the Free Folk beyond the Wall be welcomed south, if only to swell the ranks against greater threats. A small minority warned that this would upset affluent bannermen with deep coffers, who disliked the look of their shaggy, unkempt beards.

The Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms proposed a compromise: The Free Folk could be acknowledged as people, in principle, while remaining north of the Wall, in practice.

The Roundtable at White Harbor

A meeting was convened between a flesh-hungry wight and a Stark of Winterfell, the kingdom most at risk of the Night King’s wrath.

Maesters were appointed to moderate. Debate rules were read aloud. Each side was encouraged to share their essential truths. By the end of the discussion, there was very little of the Stark left.

Afterward, the Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms celebrated the robust exchange of ideas.

A Journey to the Iron Islands

Seeking unity, the Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms sailed west to reason with the Ironborn, who were actively raiding the coast. They brought proposals of mutual respect, economic incentives, and a shared vision of peace.

The Ironborn took their ships, their silver, and several delegates. Later, the Democrats who lived praised the “frank dialogue” and vowed to continue civic engagement.

The Flickering Fire

As the snows deepened and the dead marched on King’s Landing, the Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms issued one final statement. It acknowledged the living’s fears in the face of absolute evil, yet urged them not to overreact.

Somewhere on the Kingsroad, a hedge knight and his young squire used the note to create a fire that fought the creeping cold and kept them alive till morning.

It was not much—nearly nothing, in fact—but the meager warmth it afforded was still slightly more than anything proposed by the Democrats of the Seven Kingdoms. The donors were happy, however, and that’s really all one could ask for these days.

21 Jan 02:30

Trump’s Letter to Mayor McCheese Demanding the Sale of McDonaldland

by Cezary Jan Strusiewicz

“In a text message over the weekend, President Trump told Jonas Gahr Store, Norway’s prime minister, that since being denied the Nobel Peace Prize, he no longer felt obliged to ‘think purely of Peace.’”New York Times

- - -

Mayor McCheese,

Sad to write this, very sad, but after what happened with the McDonald’s Monopoly game (TOTAL ROBBERY! Everyone knows I should have won), I no longer feel bound by the outdated, very weak concept of “lovin’ it.” Peace is still on the table, always has been, I INVENTED peace, but now I’m allowed to think about what’s good, what’s strong, and what’s DELICIOUS for the United States of America.

And what’s good is McDonaldland.

People are asking, many people, strong people with great cholesterol: “Why doesn’t Trump own McDonaldland already?” I ask the same question. You, Mayor, are doing a very poor job of protecting it. I look at McDonaldland, and what do I see? Wide open spaces. Soft borders. Playgrounds. Slides. Grimace just standing around. Is he even a legal resident? Have you checked his birth certificate? You think the Burger King isn’t looking at that? You think that low-IQ nasty girl Wendy doesn’t see a land full of fry grease reserves and say, “Wow, that definitely should be ours”? Believe me, they’re looking. They’re ALWAYS looking.

And why do you even have the right to own McDonaldland? No one can explain it. There are no documents. Just a story about a clown who showed up decades ago in a little car. A car, Mayor. We had cars too. Better cars. Tremendous cars. The biggest cars in the world that eat up the most gas. So that argument is OVER.

Let’s be honest: You can’t protect McDonaldland. You don’t have the military power. You don’t have the fry power. You don’t even have a real air force, just that weird bird lady who promotes Sausage McMuffins. Sad! McDonaldland is not safe unless we have Complete and Total Control. People say, “Donald, this is ridiculous.” Same people said that when I said that I’d win and Make America Great Again. Same people said that when I said that Grimace helped get his “Uncle” O’Grimacey into McDonaldland on a falsified family visa. Have you seen O’Grimacey around lately? Think about that.

Some people are saying this is about fries. It’s not just fries. It’s also about the Big Macs. And about security. It’s about strength. It’s about making sure hostile actors don’t weaponize the milkshake machine, which leftist terrorists have already used in the past against brave American patriots who now have permanent brain damage!

Here’s the very fair deal: You sell McDonaldland to me, to the United States, and we make it incredible. The golden arches will be made from actual gold! Or you keep pretending you’re in charge while foreign powers circle your fries like seagulls. I don’t want to do this the hard way. But I will if I have to. Very politely, but also very manly and sanely.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

— President DJT

21 Jan 02:29

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Rare

by Zach Weinersmith


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
It works when you bang humans together the right way!


Today's News:
20 Jan 15:57

THIS WEDNESDAY: Three Ways to Celebrate the Public Domain

by Chris Freeland

Join us THIS WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 21 for three different ways to celebrate the creative works from 1930 and the sounds recordings from 1925 that have entered the public domain in the US:

10am PT – VIRTUAL party: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1977502652667

6pm PT – IN PERSON film screening & party at the Internet Archive: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1977503818153

7pm PT – LIVESTREAM film screening: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1980757251259

20 Jan 15:36

Aye, you know you can make it! #CowboyWho

20 Jan 15:34

Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement

by The Onion Staff

ARLINGTON, VA—In an apparent attempt to guilt his children into eating their vegetables Monday, White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller reportedly reminded one of his sons, a picky eater, that there were starving boys and girls in the basement who didn’t get to have any food at all. “Think of the poor, famished children beneath these very floorboards who are forced to go days on end without food or water, and then see if you still don’t want to eat your broccoli,” said Miller, encouraging his son to listen to the cries of hunger emanating from the floor vents and imagine himself shackled in the dark alongside the malnourished children in the cellar. “Some kids from other countries, whom I have captured, are lucky to be fed one measly table scrap a day. You’re very lucky to live on the floor of the house that you do, rather than down below among Daddy’s prey. You could just as easily have been born in a much poorer place, in which case I’d only be feeding you to prolong the suffering. Now open up for the airplane.” At press time, sources confirmed Miller’s picky-eater son had been sent to the torture room without dessert. 

The post Stephen Miller Reminds Picky-Eater Son That There Starving Kids In Basement appeared first on The Onion.

20 Jan 15:33

this fall cannot front

20 Jan 15:27

Anxiety Experts Recommend Sneaking Off To Do Drugs In Bathroom

by The Onion Staff

GENEVA—In a recommendation of the time-honored method for relieving stress in overwhelming social situations, the World Health Organization released new guidelines Tuesday for the treatment of anxiety by sneaking off to do drugs in the bathroom. “Whether you’re feeling uncomfortable while out in public or in the home of a friend or relative, you can significantly mitigate symptoms by getting yourself to a quiet space, taking a deep breath, and blocking your emotions with pills, marijuana, or cocaine,” said WHO behavioral health epidemiologist Jen Pacheco, who explained that patients could further reduce anxiety by locating a restroom and planning which drugs to binge ahead of time. “We find that the majority of patients feel relief after just a couple lines of blow. Additionally, years of research has shown that it’s impossible to embarrass yourself during small talk if you’re smoking weed alone on the toilet. Just turn the fan on and focus on getting so fucking high that you forget about how everyone out there probably hates you.” The guidelines also advised anxiety sufferers to deal with the shame of their substance use by doing more drugs.

The post Anxiety Experts Recommend Sneaking Off To Do Drugs In Bathroom appeared first on The Onion.

20 Jan 15:26

Travis Kelce Asks Taylor Swift If Jason Can Also Get Married With Them

by The Onion Staff

LEAWOOD, KS—Stressing that he wouldn’t want his best bud to feel left out on such a special day, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce reportedly asked fiancée Taylor Swift this week if, during their upcoming wedding, his brother Jason could get married with them too. “It wouldn’t feel right if Jason wasn’t up there with us—maybe we can just, like, scooch over and let him say some vows,” said Kelce, assuring Swift that his sibling would comb his hair, wear a nice shirt, and not cause any problems. “When people get married, they become part of each other’s families, so this would be a nice way to show we’re all a family now. Also, he would do great at the part where you throw the flowers in the air. He’s really good at throwing! So what do you think? Can he get married with us, please?” According to sources, Swift agreed to think about it, eliciting a joyful yelp from behind a nearby curtain, where Jason then emerged, arms wide, yelling, “Pack your bags—we’re all getting married!” 

The post Travis Kelce Asks Taylor Swift If Jason Can Also Get Married With Them appeared first on The Onion.

20 Jan 15:25

Kimberly Cunningham

by The Onion Staff

It turns out Kimberly Cunningham, 45, did forget her EpiPen at home.

The post Kimberly Cunningham appeared first on The Onion.

20 Jan 15:24

Serial killer’s cat insists on lying right across the warm corpse he’s working on

by Mark Hill

CALGARY – Once again, the murderous work of the serial killer known as the Marlborough Mauler has been interrupted by his 4-year-old house cat, Ruffles. “Aw, jeez, Ruffles, not there,” the Mauler said, as he attempted to gut and dismember his latest victim so he could leave the body parts around town in a taunting […]

The post Serial killer’s cat insists on lying right across the warm corpse he’s working on appeared first on The Beaverton.

20 Jan 15:23

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Fuzz

by Zach Weinersmith
Cowboy Who?

To Serve Mankind?



Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
We're still okay for making sauce.


Today's News:
20 Jan 15:22

Aurora Coolness

I've had countless nights where the line never left the bottom zone of the graph, but the few moments where it's climbed all the way to the top have made up for them all.
20 Jan 12:27

The Wizard of UX

by Alvaro Montoro

Minimalistic cartoon with the main character from the Wonderful Wizard of Oz stating what they want from the wizard: a lion wants courage, a scarecrow wants a brain, a tin woodman wants a brain, and the girl Dorothy wants 'web developers who care about accessibility'

20 Jan 12:27

ALT

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, the first panel shows little baby Green, sitting alone in an empty void, looking disappointed but not surprised.
Green, narrating: When I was little, life was bad. I thought it would be bad forever.

Next, adult Green is floating through an empty void, not attached to anything.
Green, continuing to narrate: But that passed, and I learned that nothing is forever. Everything is only temporary.

Blue, appearing out of nowhere, grabs Green by the tail, gently holding on to stop him from drifting away.
Green, still narrating: And then you were there. For good.

The foxes settle down to play some kind of a board game. It's unclear which one of them is winning.
Green, narrating: You make me want to believe in "forever".ALT
20 Jan 12:26

last of the fish

20 Jan 12:26

strlcpy(3)

20 Jan 12:24

#Kento #RoninWarriors

20 Jan 00:06

Groundskeeper Unsure What To Do With Unconscious Player Left In Medical Tent

by The Onion Staff