Greendinos

“This is my son.  That’s me next to him.  Apparently, enchiladas make you tired.”

(submitted by Betsy)

The post Food Coma appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

“We were all watching my youngest daughter play on her slip & slide.  When she was finished, I sent her inside (I thought) and I stayed out to drain the slide.”

(submitted by Emma)

The post Door Jammed appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

“We didn’t celebrate Halloween at our house. We begged to go trick-or-treating, so this was the compromise. Dad went with us door to door as the Prophet of Doom.”

(submitted by Chelsea)

(submitted by Nicole)

…is worth two in the OMFG NO!

“It was supposed to be a cap.”

(submitted by Laura)

Parental Note: In case the title didn't give it away, today's post is not appropriate for children. It's still safe for work, though.

Hallo, my succulent little cyber love bunnies. I... am Carlos Danger. And I have something to show you.

It's my wiener, doing a little dance. IF you know what I mean. [winkwink]

Oh, were you expecting something else? Something more... personal? Well, I'm sorry, my virtual vixens of viscosity, but I don't do that anymore.

That's right, I have changed my nasty, exhibitionist ways! Again! So, no more texted photos of Mr. Nozzle Nose - no sir! Now I will only be sending photos of pure, innocent, everyday smiley things.

Like these turtles:

Or these carrots:

Or the occasional attentive butterfly:

Or Thanksgiving turkey:

Or Christmas stocking:

Yes, instead of sharing my groinal glory with the world, I've come to appreciate travel:

And shooting hoops with the boys:

Fishing:

And even a little outdoor grilling:

Plus I've taken up baseball again:

 Have I mentioned I'm a big Star Wars fan?

I tell you all this, my comely constituents, because I want you all to know that, first and foremost, I am a patriot. A huge, upstanding, balls-to-the-wall, letting-it-all-hang-out, PATRIOT.

So, on behalf of both myself and my talented staff, allow me to end with this:

Oh, and if you could all just slip me your phone numbers on the way out, that'd be swell. Thx.

Thanks to Annette P., Courtney M., Jimmy L., Bijan P., Heather K., Alison L., C., Shelley C., Anony M., Peace, Trish, Gina S., & Jana C. for sharing phone pics we actually want to see. Mostly.

Ok, guys, I think it's time to go over the "guidelines" again for wishing someone good luck. Sooo...

Well? Are ya, punk?

EXCELLENT.

Now,

Rule The First: Pick ONE sentiment and go with it.

It's either "Good Luck" or possibly "Get Lucky." Or, in this case, maybe "Get Lumpy." Heh.

(Anyone else want to stab that giant bump before it scurries away?)

Rule The Second: Watch your handwriting.

Believe it or not, a cursive capital L is the single most difficult letter in the entire known universe to write:

Which is probably why this baker tried for a cursive capital Q instead; sure, it looks bad, but at least it doesn't spell anything embarrassing:

Gentlemen, start your engines.

Of course, even if you nail the L, there's still that pesky U to contend with:

o.0

Yowza, "best of suck" and "good lick?" How much dirtier can an innocuous "good luck" cake get?!

I had to ask, didn't I.

Which brings us to:

Rule The Third: Mixing botched cursive letters with printed ones is a sure-fire recipe for disaster.

Hilarious, awkward disaster:

Yeah, Christina. Try not to screw that up.

Thanks to Bethany P., Gail K., Jodee R., Kristine W., Amy S., Tracy M., & Christina W., who would not believe how often I see dirty good luck cakes. Or, ok, maybe you would.

It’s time to consider a new barber.

(submitted by Deboarah in the UK)

For those who don’t want to carry a photo in their wallet.

(submitted by Peter)

(via the genius Irina Werning)