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Here's Breaking Bad antihero/chemistry teacher/drug lordWalter White's predictably funny/sad Facebook Look Back video.

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Amazon posted its list of "100 Books To Read In A Lifetime." Of course, no such list could ever please everyone, but there are quite a few surprising and "unpopular" picks included. They say: "We wanted the list to cover all stages of a life (which is why you'll find children's books in here), and we didn't want the list to feel like homework." "100 Books To Read In A Lifetime"

(CC image by Tom Murphy VII)

Etsy seller MonksHomefurnishings is a furniture builder who made this TARDIS Cat Condo for a friend who loves cats and Doctor Who. Figuring that there are other people who love both (duh), he offers to build more for anyone who wants one -and is willing to part with $695.00. The TARDIS is 47 inches high and contains three cat platforms and openings on all sides. The color and features can be customized. Shipping is free! This TARDIS is not guaranteed to turn your cat into a Time Lord, but that doesn't matter because your cat already thinks he is the ruler of time and space. See more pictures at the Etsy page. -via Geeks Are Sexy

(Photos: Raw Design)

They're called Nuzzles, but I thought of Koosh toys as soon as I saw them. Raw Design, a studio in Toronto, recently won a competition in Canada to design warming huts that people enjoying outdoor winter fun could use to warm themselves. All submissions had to be transportable and no higher than the trees in a recreation area by the Assiniboine River in Winnipeg.

Nuzzles consist of a geodesic dome with a heat source beneath them. Pool noodles radiate from the surface of the dome, carrying heat. People who want to warm themselves can nestle inside the warm tentacles.

A flowchart is a diagram that illustrates the steps of a process, such as the process a machine would use to make decisions and proceed with the necessary steps to complete a task. We also make flowcharts to illustrate the decision-making and procedural process of the simplest events in pop culture worlds or in human life, mainly for fun. And just like real life, they can go off into completely bizarre territory, while remaining familiar enough for us all to relate. Here are some of the most recently-discovered flowcharts that might help you out, or at least make you laugh.

1. Should You Call In Sick Today?

The decision to call your boss and tell him or her that you aren’t coming in today depends on many factors, such as how likely you are to lose your job over it, how much you’ll suffer financially for the day, and how much you care. Oh yeah, and whether you're sick. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to work with a contagious bug, endangering everyone else, because staying home would endanger my ability to pay the rent. Here’s a flowchart from Mandatory that will give you better advice than I could. Go to the website to see where it leads.

2. How Should You Treat Your Medical Emergency (If You're on a TV Show)?

Medical emergencies on television dramas are very different from real life. In real life, you will want to seek medical help, which may save your life. On TV, that only works when the series is set in a hospital, and you are a regular character. On this flowchart you can see in full at College Humor, there are no arrows that lead to that step at all! The best advice I can give you is, don't get shot. And make sure your character has a full name.

3. Time Travel in Movies Flowchart

This fascinating flowchart by Mr. Dalliard contains many time travel movies sorted by plot twists and temporal philosophy, color coded by genre, and has spoilers that you probably won't understand if you haven't seen the movie anyway. Remakes and originals are labeled by year. You can enlarge the chart by clicking on it at the site.

4. The Book Lover’s Dilemma

Book lovers may worry about this decision, but it’s really very simple. After all, you’re a book lover! We all have our priorities. This chart is from Rena MacGuire.

5. What to Read

If you really want someone to tell you which book to read, you might consult the Summer Reading Flowchart, which works pretty well in winter, too. This is only the beginning of a pretty involved chart at Teach.

6. Should I go to the movies?

Once upon a time, life’s decisions were easier to make. This chart is from a 1963 book about machine automation, and it was used to explain binary decision-making. Just a few binary decisions, and a teenager either went to a movie or didn’t. See, back then, there was one theater in town, with one movie screen, and the only alternative was possibly a drive-in theater that didn’t open until dark. It didn’t matter what was showing, because it was rated G and you didn’t have any other choice anyway. Things are different now.

7. What to Watch on Netflix

Today, you have multiplexes, on-demand TV, RedBox, a bookcase full of discs, and of course, Netflix. Once you’ve made the decision to watch a movie, the choices are endless. You can select a movie, a mini-series, or a television series. There are tons of genres, and if you are up for watching something you’ve never seen before, you can run your choices through internet reviews to see if it might be worth your time. Or you can consult the What to Watch on Netflix flowchart, which is pretty long and involved itself. Enlarge it here. 

8. How Dogs Make Decisions

Dogs don’t have as many choices to make as we do -they don’t have Netflix accounts, for one thing. But in a dog world, the decisions they make are important. The flowchart above from Doghouse Diaries is based on years of behavioral observation that any dog lover can understand. If only all our decisions were this simple.

9. Should You Confront Your Spouse?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen relationship advice about how to fight with your significant other. The older I get, the more I realize that fighting will solve nothing. If you have to fight about something, you’ve already lost. And most conflicts you encounter in a relationship, especially a committed, long-term relationship, are not that important. Alisa and Ari Bowman constructed a flowchart to help you see your conflict more clearly.

10. The Conspiracy Theory Flowchart "THEY" Don't Want You To See

The Conspiracy Theory Flowchart is recommended for those who are “new to the exciting world of conspiracy theories and just can't decide which paranoid delusion best suits you.” If you are the paranoid type, it will send you in a hundred directions to research new things to worry about. For everyone else, it only points out how weird these theories are. All I’ve shown you here is a small portion; the full flowchart is at The Reason Stick. It was built by Crispian Jago, who also gave us the Periodic Table of Irrational Nonsense, featured earlier on mental_floss. 

The takeaway from this group of flowcharts is that even simple charts can contain difficult decisions, and simple decisions can lead to very large flowcharts, if there are a large number of decisions that make up an activity. I bet you already knew that. See our previous lists of flowcharts for more of this kind of silliness.

Talking in the third person, the singular they, and gender-neutral pronouns.

Charlotte, who is seven, wrote this devastating letter to the Lego company over the way that girl characters and boy characters are handled in its increasingly gendered toys: "All the girls did was sit at home, go to the beach, and shop, and they had no jobs but the boys went on adventures, worked, saved people, and had jobs, even swam with sharks."

She calls on Lego "to make more Lego girl people and let them go on adventures and have fun ok!?!"

That's a pretty unassailable request. Thank you, Charlotte, for putting it so well.

7yo Charlotte writes an adorable and strongly worded letter to LEGO regarding the lack of adventures for girls.

Stephen McLaughlin and his wife are expecting a baby girl this spring. He put up a website to let internet users suggest and vote on names for the poor little girl. The front-runner so far is Cthulhu All-Spark McLaughlin. Do you have a better idea? Let’s all be thankful that the parents reserve the right to reject what the internet decides and go with their own choice in the end. Suggest a name or vote on an existing name at Name My Daughter. -via Geeks Are Sexy

First, you curse.

Then you ask, “Why?” and, absent a good answer (there is never a good answer), you think about what made Philip Seymour Hoffman great—and wonder if a key to understanding his absurd death at the age of 46 from a drug overdose can be located somewhere in that greatness.

Eight years ago, I ate lunch with Hoffman in the East Village for a New York Times profile and had a small inkling of his demons. Capote had just come out and he was the favorite to win an Oscar. (He did.) He talked about what it had taken for a man with a big head, big body, and big deep voice to embody a man with a small head, small body, and bizarre baby voice—about the training that wasn’t unlike what he’d done as a high school jock (yes, he was a jock!), pushing his body and voice to places he wasn't even sure were in reach. And then he talked about the editing fights he’d had with his old friend, the first-time director, Bennett Miller.

When you hear about cutting-room fights, it almost always means the star thinks he or she is coming off as too unlikable and wants the director to ratchet up the vulnerability quotient. But Hoffman was arguing to make Capote less attractive—to make him, in fact, thoroughly reprehensible. He said he told Miller, “The way toward empathy is actually to be as hard as possible on this character.”

I said I had no idea what he was talking about.

“I think deep down inside, people understand how flawed they are,” he said. “I think the more benign you make somebody, the less truthful it is.”

Yes… if you think that who we are at our worst is who we really are. And I’m pretty sure Hoffman did think that.

Ever since then, I’ve been conscious of how much he went out of his way to make his characters un-benign. It was central to his power as an actor, though I wonder if at times he didn’t confuse self-hatred for integrity.

His delivery could seem groggy, as if he couldn’t be bothered to clear his throat or gargle or expend any effort to be more attractive than he thought he was—which was not attractive at all. You can feel how far inside his comfort zone he is in The Talented Mr. Ripley as a through-and-through snob who barely acknowledges the title character’s existence or in Charlie Wilson’s War as a spy described as the “anti-James Bond” who refuses to suck up to his superiors (or the audience).

A few years after our interview, I complimented him on what might be my favorite of his performances, the brother of the playwright protagonist (Laura Linney) in The Savages—a funny, likable, normal guy.

“He’s probably one of the characters closer to me than most,” Hoffman said.

“He’s not grotesque,” I said.

“Well, everyone’s life is grotesque if you look close enough. I don’t shy away from that side.”

“No, you go in the other direction.”

“Right.”

Hoffman was famous for beating himself up on sets. He hated the ease with which his body put on weight. He also talked openly about his various addictions. (He was last in rehab for substance abuse in the spring of 2013.) Several years ago on NPR’s Fresh Air, Terry Gross asked him about his alcoholism and why he couldn’t just limit himself to, say, one or two drinks at dinner. He said he never wanted one or two drinks. He wanted the whole bottle. The point, he said, was to drink and keep drinking. He wanted to be liberated from self-disgust. He sought out oblivion.

I have no good excuse for missing his Willie Loman onstage (except I couldn’t get a ticket), but I saw his Jamie Tyrone in A Long Day’s Journey into Night and was ever so slightly disappointed. He was superb, of course: Tyrone Jr. is riddled with self-hatred and guilt, and Hoffman was poignantly credible telling his younger brother not to trust him. What he didn’t have was the boozy Irish bravura that made Jason Robards’s O’Neill performances so transporting. Hoffman could never see himself as a romantic figure—not for an instant.

His onscreen legacy? I put The Savages above even Capote, but the latter is certainly an Olympian feat, a triumph of sympathetic (and unsympathetic) imagination. Charlie Wilson’s War should be seen because he’s so palpably happy in the role. His Father Flynn is Doubt is one of his best performances, largely because he plays the (probably pedophilic) priest as a man who doesn’t believe he’s a sexual predator and is therefore at ease with himself. (The only Hoffman characters at ease with themselves are the bad ones.) His L. Ron Hubbard stand-in in The Master is in the tradition of flimflam visionaries so in love with their own spiels they forget they’re frauds. Further back, he’s a howl in Along Came Polly in a Chris Farley-like part, a guy with a vast appetite and zero shame.

I suspect Philip Seymour Hoffman had a lot of shame in his life and dealt with it by making himself as odious as possible in other arenas. Sometimes he went too far, but even then his performances could be revelatory. The only thing ordinary about this extraordinary actor was how he died.

For that, you curse.

Read more posts by David Edelstein

Filed Under: philip seymour hoffman ,movies ,obits ,r.i.p.

Tim Tebow is all smiles while attending the DirecTV Super Saturday Night at Pier 40 on Saturday (February 1) in New York City.

The 26-year-old former football player was joined by Eli Manning, Drew Brees, and skier Lindsey Vonn.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Tim Tebow

It was just announced that Drew and his wife Brittany are expecting their fourth child together, according to E! News.

FYI: Eli is the younger brother of Peyton Manning, who is leading his Denver Broncos in the 2014 Super Bowl today (February 2) against the Seattle Seahawks. Make sure to tune into Fox at 3:30 pm PST for the game!

10+ pictures inside of Tim Tebow and Eli Manning attending the DirecTV Super Saturday Night…

What's better than one bearded Jake Gyllenhaal? Two bearded Jake Gyllenhaals! Actually, maybe not, as this movie seems super intense. Directed by Prisoners' Denis Villeneuve, Gyllenhaal plays a professor who has found an exact doppelgänger of himself. The synopsis calls it a "haunting and provocative psychosexual thriller about duality and identity, where in the end only one man will survive," so you'll have to decide if you're #TeamJakeGyllenhaal or #TeamJakeGyllenhaal. The film opens in limited theaters on March 14 and on DirectTV on February 6. What says St. Patrick's Day or Valentine's Day better than two bearded Jake Gyllenhaals?

Read more posts by Jesse David Fox

Filed Under: trailer mix ,enemy ,jake gyllenhaal ,denis villeneuve ,movies

Veronica Mars makes its triumphant return on March 14, when its Kickstarter-ed movie arrives in theaters. The date is rapidly approaching but never fear: You still have time to watch (or rewatch, or re-re-re-re-rewatch, as the case may be) the entire series before the blessed event. Like we've done for Mad Men and Breaking Bad, we've put together a training schedule for you to get caught up on the joys of all things Veronica Mars. (Amazon Prime members can currently stream all three seasons at no extra charge; the series is also available on DVD and via iTunes.) This guide is for newbies, so it does not contain any significant spoilers.

January 28
Episode 1, "Pilot "
Don't be fooled by the high-school setting and an elfin blonde lead (Kristen Bell, who is perfect on the show): Veronica Mars is no fluffy teen fare. In fact, it's a dark and often very twisted murder mystery, and it also deals pretty frankly — and pretty often — with rape. We meet our heroine Veronica at the beginning of her junior year of high school, and things couldn't be more different than they'd been a year before: Veronica's best friend, Lilly Kane (Amanda Seyfried), has been murdered, and her dad, Keith Mars (Enrico Colantoni), is the sheriff people blame for botching the investigation. Her mom has left them in the wake of the scandal, and Keith has been reduced to working as a private investigator — a business Veronica winds up helping out with. She's committed to finding out who really killed Lilly (even if it turns out it's Lilly's brother, Duncan, who is also Veronica's boyfriend), and she's also trying to figure out who drugged and raped her at a blowout party at the end of the last school year. There's a lot in this pilot, and it is great.

January 29
Episodes 2 and 3, "Credit Where It's Due" and "Meet John Smith"
Don't be put off by Paris Hilton's brief appearance in these episodes: It was 2004, and the now defunct UPN — UPN!— was willing to do anything. Instead, use these episodes to get to know Eli "Weevil" Navarro (Francis Capra), Veronica's motorcycle-riding bad boyfriend. Note also that Keith only ever refers to him as Eli.

January 30
Episodes 4 and 5, "The Wrath of Con" and "You Think You Know Somebody"
Part of what makes the first season of VM so engrossing is the gap we see between present-day Veronica, who's a social pariah, and flashback Veronica, who's at the top of the social totem pole. She's lost her best friend, her mom, her reputation — and a lot of her ability to trust people. Luckily, by this point, she's found a new close friend in Wallace (Percy Daggs III).

January 31
Episode 6, "Return of the Kane"
One theme that VM deals with over and over is loss. Another, though, is that images of perfection usually hide dark secrets: That lucky rich kid Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring), a.k.a. Lilly's former boyfriend, who gets anything he wants? Yeah, his dad (Harry Hamlin [!]), is an abusive monster. The most perfect girls in school are hiding more than Veronica usually thinks, and rare is the person who won't betray you. You have to find your friends carefully.

February 1
Episodes 7, 8, and 9, "The Girl Next Door," "Like a Virgin," and "Drinking the Kool-Aid"
Three episodes is nothing! It's a Saturday! And yes, that's Jessica Chastain as Veronica's down-on-her-luck neighbor in episode seven. Episode eight introduces us to one of the show's best characters, Mac (Tina Majorino), and episode nine digs deeper into what Veronica thinks is a Kane family cover-up of who really killed Lilly.

February 2
Episodes 10, 11, and 12, "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Silence of the Lamb," "Clash of the Tritons"
Veronica Mars is known for its snappy dialogue, and "Echolls Family Christmas" has some of the best, thanks in part to writer Diane Ruggiero, who is responsible for many of the show's best moments of banter. "Lamb" introduces us to Deputy Leo, played by a much-mumblier Max Greenfield, and Aaron Paul has a small role, too. Finally, in "Tritons," start thinking about Veronica's mission to know everyone's business, Kane-related or not. Is it really helping her — like, on a spiritual level — to know how bleak life is?

February 3
Episodes 13 and 14, "Lord of the Bling" and "Mars vs. Mars"
"Bling" is sort of a placeholder, but "Mars vs. Mars" brings us Leighton Meester and Adam Scott. The future Blair Waldorf plays a student who accuses the "cool" teacher (Scott) of having an affair with her. Again, another episode where Veronica learns many scuzzy people are trying to do the right thing, and many seemingly good people are actually scuzz monsters.

February 4
Episodes 15 and 16, "Ruskie Business" and "Betty and Veronica"
Every teen show needs a dance episode. "Ruskie" ups the ante and makes it an eighties dance, and it's great. "Betty" kicks the murder-mystery arc into its final phases, so pay close attention.

February 5
Episode 17, "Kane and Abel's"
This episode moves the murder story along, but it's even more important for introducing Vinnie Van Lowe (Ken Marino), a lowlife rival private investigator. The guy can really sing a Hall and Oates cover.

February 6
Episodes 18 and 19, "Weapons of Class Destruction" and "Hot Dogs"
Enjoy! These are two of the best damn episodes of TV ever. And Jonathan Taylor Thomas is in "Class"! The fun never ends on this show.

February 7
Rest day. Spend this time carbo-loading. Your journey is nowhere near complete.

February 8
Episode 20, "M.A.D."
This episode closes with "Crimson and Clover," and if you can ever hear that song again without seeing Logan on his boat, well, you weren't really watching this show. Go back and redo this episode.

February 9
Episodes 21 and 22, "A Trip to the Dentist" and "Leave It to Beaver"
This is it! The end of season one. If you're not completely ensorcelled by this show now, just stop. (Also, go to a hospital; you are deceased.) Note: These two episodes are very intense, so don't watch right before you go to bed.

February 10
Rest day. Spend this time watching Kristen Bell's sloth video over and over.

February 11
Episodes 23 and 24, "Normal is the Watch Word" and "Driver Ed"
Season two! Fair warning: It's not as good as season one. It's still good, though. Things kick off with the major crime of the year: A bus carrying several Neptune high students drives off a cliff. How? Why? Who managed not to be on the bus just at the right time? Other than Veronica? Breaking Bad's Krysten Ritter joins the cast as Gia.

February 12
Episodes 25 and 26, "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang" and "Green-Eyed Monster"
Somehow we've made it this far without talking about Dick (Ryan Hansen) and Cassidy "Beaver" (Kyle Gallner) Casablancas, two of Veronica's major antagonists. While Dick remains a surfer douche for the run of the series, we start to see a different side of Cassidy when he hires Veronica to spy on his stepmother.

February 13
Episodes 27 and 28, "Blast from the Past" and "Rat Saw God"
We've covered loss and image as themes for Veronica Mars, so let's add one more: parenting. In general, the parenting on the show is not so great (except for super-dad Keith), and we see different characters come to realize that in different ways. In "Blast" and "Rat," we see people either become their parents or try assiduously not to — though children on this show frequently pay the price for their parents' mistakes no matter what. Keep an eye out for cameos from Joss Whedon and America's Next Top Model contestant Kim Stoltz.

February 14
Episodes 29 and 30, "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner" and "Ahoy, Mateys!"
Hard truth time: Duncan (Teddy Dunn) is the worst character on this show. He's supposed to seem solid and decent, but compared to the sardonic thrills of Logan or the goofy affability of Wallace, he's just a drag. These two eps are very Duncan-heavy, so in a pinch … skip.

February 15
Rest day! Make shrines to Mac and Logan (individually).

February 16
Episodes 31, 32, 33, and 34, "My Mother, the Fiend," "One Angry Veronica," "Donut Run," and "Rashard and Wallace Go to White Castle"
These four episodes point to what's tough about season two: It starts and stops for no real reason. "Fiend" is great and propulsive, but "One Angry Veronica" stalls out with our plucky heroine at jury duty, with the action merely happening around her. "Donut" is a tough one if you believe Duncan and Veronica are OTP (if so, you are wrong), but "White Castle" gets back to solving the bus-crash mystery.

February 17
Episode 35, "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough"
It's another Diane Ruggiero episode. Nothing too major happens, but the banter is A+.

February 18
Episodes 36 and 37, "Versatile Toppings" and "The Quick and the Wed"
"Versatile" is most notable for having Kristin Cavallari play a lesbian cheerleader, though it's a solid episode beyond that, and "Quick" at least has another appearance from Vinnie Van Lowe.

February 19
Episodes 38 and 39, "The Rapes of Graff" and "Plan B"
Just when you thought VM was backing off the rape stories, think again! Veronica's off to college visits at the fictional Hearst College, and of course where she goes, trouble follows. Michael Cera and Alia Shawkat guest-star as Hearst students, which back in 2006, when this episode originally aired, felt like a very cool shout-out.

February 20
Episode 40, "I Am God"
There are so many great characters on Veronica Mars, which is why it's frustrating that so much of season two is spent talking about Meg. Meg is the worst! Not quite Duncan-level, but definitely not worthy of this much attention.

February 21
Episode 41, "Never Mind the Buttocks"
Okay, now we're talking. The Lilly Kane murder resurfaces briefly, the leads for the bus crash start to come together, and this episodes includes one of the best Veronica lines of all time. "Prepare to have your mind blown. Are you ready?" Keith asks. Says Veronica, "Think back eighteen years: small, blonde, baby. Born ready."

February 22
Episode 42, "Look Who's Stalking"
Prepare for heartbreak! The Mike Doughty song "I Hear the Bells" is perfectly placed here, and this episode alone is enough to redeem all of season two. Agh, this one hurts so good.

February 23
Episodes 43 and 44, "Happy Go Lucky" and "Not Pictured"
Prepare for more heartbreak. While the season-ender is not what most of us would have rooted for, it is deeply shocking and intense. Season two, you have your flaws, but at least you go out with a bang. And a crash. And a cry.

February 24
Rest! Think about how different Veronica is than, say, Rory Gilmore.

February 25
Episode 45, "Welcome Wagon"
College! It's time for college, though of course Veronica can't stray too far from Neptune. The season introduces us to Piz (Chris Lowell), who is named for Mark Piznarski, who directed the VM pilot. He's a good character in many ways, but it's hard to buy him as a romantic interest for the tough and salty Veronica. She and all her pals are now students at Hearst, where last year's rape turns out to be the first of many serial rapes on campus. Veronica's on the case!

February 26
Episode 46, "My Big Fat Greek Rush Week"
So season two is not as good as season one. Unfortunately, season three is not as good as season two. At this point in the show's run, the UPN was no more and VM had moved to the CW — which requested that the show break down small mysteries over shorter chunks of the season, rather than one major mystery for the year. It … sorta works? Sorta not? That said, the worst Veronica Mars episode is still better than most of the best episodes of other shows.

February 27
Episode 47, "Witchita Linebacker"
Now that she's in college, Veronica has a whole new set of people asking for help. Like a football player, played by Armie Hammer.

February 28
Rest! Think about the lessons of parenting you will take from Keith Mars.

March 1
Episode 48, "Charlie Don't Surf"
Behold, the Just Shoot Me reunion you didn't know you wanted! Lauren San Giacomo and Enrico Colantoni are really delightful together.

March 2
Episodes 49 and 50, "President Evil" and "Hi, Infidelity"
Veronica Mars loves an eighties guest star, and here it's Richard Grieco. Veronica continues to find out horrible things about the adults in her life, and at this point, we're starting to see Veronica's rapid sarcasm not just as a humorous joke mechanism but also as a real reflection of how hardened she's become, how jaded she is for an 18-year-old. Sometimes viewers have a hard time with how mean Veronica can sometimes be to people who are asking her for help, but the real shock is that she's not meaner. Girl has seen some things and has no reason to think kindness gets anyone anywhere.

March 3
Episode 51, "Of Vice and Men"
Eek, it's an episode where Veronica herself is in danger. Guess who comes to her rescue? It's who you hope.

March 4
Episode 52, "Lord of the Pi's"
Patty Hearst herself guest-stars not as Patty Hearst but … well, basically as Patty Hearst. She even gets kidnapped.

March 5
Episodes 53 and 54, "Spit & Eggs" and "Show Me the Monkey"
"Spit" wraps up the Hearst rapist arc, and it does so effectively, if not richly. This season, everyone is largely who they seem — which is a big contrast and a big letdown from previous seasons. The episode also introduces the new mystery: Who killed Dean O'Dell (Ed Begley Jr.)?

March 6
Episode 55, "Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves"
VM has a rich tradition of wonderful episode titles, but this is probably the best one.

March 7
Rest! If you could send Veronica to any college in America, where would you send her rather than Hearst?

March 8
Episodes 56 and 57, "There's Got To be A Morning After Pill" and "Postgame Mortem"
Two solid episodes that make much more out of the personal relationships on the show (is there any richer soil than Logan and Veronica?) than out of Dean O'Dell's murder. We get why people loved Lilly Kane, and Veronica was supposed to be on the bus that crashed, but Dean O'Dell always felt like someone introduced just so he could be murdered.

March 9
Episodes 58, 59, and 60, "Mars, Bars," "Papa's Cabin," "Un-American Graffiti"
And now things really get going in the final gasps of this wonderful show. Turns out Veronica Mars knows a lot of people who are capable of murder! Also listen for a mention of The Room in "Un-American Graffiti."

March 10
Episodes 61 and 62, "Debasement Tapes" and "I Know What You'll Do Next Summer"
Hey, it's Paul Rudd as a washed-up nineties rocker! And another episode.

March 11
Rest day! Almost done!

March 12
Episodes 63 and 64, "Weevils Wobble But They Don't Fall Down" and "The Bitch is Back"
When VM ended, it wasn't clear whether this was going to serve as a series finale or as a season finale, so these two episodes work as both. That said, there's definitely enough left unresolved to warrant a movie to wrap things up. The people demand closure.

March 13
Bonus episode from the season-three DVD
You weren't quite done! Before the CW pulled the plug on the series, it seemed like there was a chance that VM would have one more season — with a time-jump forward to when she's working as an FBI agent. Creator Rob Thomas put together a twelve-minute proof of concept, and it's heartbreakingly promising. At the time, it felt like another blow — the show's canceled, and we have to know how great it would be if it kept going? But now it's like a sweet reminder that there was always going to be more Veronica Mars, one way or another.

March 14
Go see the movie! You earned it.

Read more posts by Margaret Lyons

Filed Under: veronica mars ,private eyes are watching you ,tv ,tv marathons

On the heels of its bananatown season finale, Sleepy Hollow has promoted two of its cast members. According to THR, John Noble and Lyndie Greenwood will both be series regulars next season. Noble plays — spoiler alert — Jeremy Crane, a.k.a. Henry Parish, a.k.a. the Horseman of War (one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse), whose role had already increased over the course of the season. Greenwood plays Jenny Mills, sister of our heroine Abbie Mills, and recent resident of an inpatient mental-health facility. Aw, man, Sleepy Hollow season two feels like a long way away.

Read more posts by Margaret Lyons

Filed Under: sleepy hollow ,returning favorites ,tv ,john noble ,lyndie greenwood

Possible centaur and professional rich sports person Alex Rodriguez has been suspended for the entire 2014 baseball season, including any postseason games. Arbitrator Fredric Horowitz actually cut 38-year-old A-Rod's suspension, which was handed down last summer due to his alleged use of performance-enhancing drugs, from 211 games to 162. But it is still the longest doping suspension in Major League Baseball history, and guarantees A-Rod won't get in a batter's box this year. [ more › ]

Kelly Osbourne rocks her Black Sabbath inspired look on the red carpet at the 2014 Grammy Awards held at the Staples Center on Sunday (January 26) in Los Angeles.

The 29-year-old Fashion Police correspondent posed for photos before starting her hosting gigs with her E! News team.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pics of Kelly Osbourne

“There will never be any man in this world that I love more than my dad!” Kelly tweeted the night before about her dad Ozzy Osbourne, who is a nominee this evening!

Make sure to watch the 2014 Grammys, hosted by LL Cool J, airing TONIGHT at 8/7c on CBS!

FYI: Kelly is wearing a Badgley Mischka dress, Loree Rodkin jewels, her dad Ozzy‘s cross, and Brian Atwood shoes.

15+ pictures inside of Kelly Osbourne at the 2014 Grammy Awards…

Bonnie McKee arrives in style looking gorgeous on the red carpet at the 2014 Grammy Awards held at the Staples Center on Sunday (January 26) in Los Angeles.

“#Grammys eve look. Dress by #RandaSalamoun hair @lightaaron styling @chercoulter” the 30-year-old singer tweeted that day. She looks great!

Bonnie is nominated tonight as a writer for Song of the Year for Katy Perry‘s “Roar” alongside Lukasz Gottwald, Max Martin, Katy, and Henry Walter. Good luck tonight!!!

Make sure to watch the 2014 Grammys, hosted by LL Cool J, airing TONIGHT at 8/7c on CBS!

When news of Sleepy Hollow first broke last summer, I thought it was the most hilariously stupid idea I’d ever heard. Here, I was sure, was the next spiritual successor to The Cape, a show so ill-conceived, so fundamentally awkward in its design and strenuously, woefully inept in its execution, that it would implode almost immediately. A fan-fiction-esque retelling of “The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow” that turned Ichabod Crane into an action hero, and had the Headless Horseman wielding a machine gun? Oh, it was like stupid Christmas was coming early. When the trailers came out, I fixated on the line “The answers are in George Washington’s Bible!” No matter how many times I repeated it, it never stopping being funny. And the truth of it is, it’s still a pretty funny line. The twists and turns of the first season of this marvelous, unexpected, and thoroughly entertaining ...

Although NBC announced plans last October to reboot the hit series "Murder, She Wrote," Deadline is now reporting that the network will not move forward with the new series. Instead, NBC is said to be looking at an alternate take to relaunch the franchise sometime further down the road. The original series, which ran for 12 seasons beginning in 1984, starred Angela Lansbury as Jessica Fletcher, a retired-schoolteacher-turned-mystery-novelist who made use of her detective skills to combat the surprisingly high murder rate in her hometown of Cabot Cove, Maine. Alexandra Cunningham ("Desperate Housewives") was writing and producing the new take alongside David Janollari. It was to star Octavia Spencer as a...

The Golden Globes! So many drunk winners and so many more drunk losers! Tight-lipped smiles. Barely-contained grimaces on beautiful Hollywood faces. The losers are the true heroes of the night! Here are the ones who gave this year's best performances.

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Following a new photo earlier this weekend, Starz has released the first trailer for "Outlander," based on the internationally best-selling book series by Diana Gabaldon. Premiering this summer, "Outlander" stars Caitriona Balfe, Sam Heughan, Tobias Menzies, Gary Lewis, Graham McTavish, Duncan Lacroix, Lotte Verbeek and Nell Hudson, and is executive produced by Ronald D. Moore. The "Outlander" series spans the genres of romance, science fiction, history and adventure in one epic tale. It follows the story of Claire Randall, a married combat nurse from 1945 who is mysteriously swept back in time to 1743, where she is immediately thrown into an unknown world where her life is threatened. When she is forced to marry Jamie Fraser, a chivalrous and...

(If the CSA won World War I by Jordan)

Alternate history is a genre of speculative fiction which alters historical events and sets stories within the worlds created by those changes. It differs from historical fiction, which mostly sticks to real history. Herman Wouk's The Caine Mutiny is set in our own historical timeline for World War II and is thus historical fiction. Harry Turtledove's In the Presence of Mine Enemies imagines a world in which the Axis powers prevailed in that war and is thus alternate history.

Alternate history may be divided into two subgenres: alternate events and alternate settings. The alternate events subgenre focuses on the changing events themselves. Robert Conroy's Red Inferno, for example, is a novel in form but addresses primarily a war between the Soviet Union and the western Allies in 1945. Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policeman's Union takes place in a world in which Israel lost its war for independence. But that alternate event provides the background setting for what is essentially a murder mystery.

I love alternate history. Here are some of my favorite text works from that genre.

1. Britannia's Fist: From Civil War to World War by Peter G. Tsouras. This novel and its sequel A Rainbow of Blood are, in my opinion, the finest works of alternate history ever written.

Among the two subgenres of alternate history (alternate events and alternate settings) my strong preference is for alternate events. Although these books are novels, there is little in the way of distracting dialogue or character development. They read like fast-paced history books.

The first rule of alternate history is that the changes must be reasonable and the outcomes plausible. The author, Peter G. Tsouras, is a retired US Army officer and professional military historian. He has genuine expertise on the subjects about which he writes.

As a result, his alternate histories are thoroughly realistic--a feat that not all novels in the genre can attain. Lengthy endnotes for his sources (some of which are, amusingly, imaginary) support his changes and outcomes.

In these two novels, Britain enters the American Civil War on the side of the South--something that nearly happened in real history.

2. Redcoats' Revenge by David Fitz-Enz. Britain offered her greatest general of the Napoleonic Wars, the Duke of Wellington (right), command of its forces against the United States during the War of 1812. Wellington declined the offer. This novel by retired US Army officer and military historian David G. Fitz-Enz speculates about the outcome of Wellington accepting the offer and coming to North America.

Fitz-Enz focuses on the Lake Champlain campaign, on which he also published a non-fiction history. Like Tsouras's works, Redcoats' Revenge is realistic and written more like a straightforward history than a novel. It's a first-rate work of alternate history.

Highlight the following text for a spoiler: As an American, I found this novel deeply disturbing. It left me unsettled for days. In short, America loses--badly. Redcoats' Revenge was a completely plausible and horrifying demonstration of how close my country came to losing the War of 1812 and the terrible consequences that would have resulted. As a work of alternate history, it's perfect. But I wouldn't read it again.

3. The Greenhill Books alternate history series. The British publishing company Greenhill Books has published a series of anthologies of short alternate history scenarios on many different subjects. Most are written by historians or other people fairly knowledgeable on historical topics. All of them address military history, such as winning scenarios for Imperial Japan and Nazi Germany during World War II or different outcomes for the Napoleonic Wars or the Cold War.

4. Custer at the Alamo by Gregory Urbach. This work is both an alternate history and a time travel novel. Purists may understandably reject the novel entirely.

When a scenario is completely implausible, alternate history fans often refer to it as ASB--alien space bats. Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer and elements of the Seventh Cavalry, on the eve of the Battle of Little Big Horn, are transported back in time and space to Texas during the Texas Revolution. It is therefore inherently implausible. But once you accept time travel, then Urbach's carefully researched novel makes sense. The historical figures behave in completely reasonable ways.

The novel is written in the first person perspective from Custer's point of view. I perceived that Custer is an unreliable narrator--a sophisticated narrative technique normally not seen in alternate history.

5. In the Balance by Harry Turtledove. It's the summer of 1942. The world is embroiled in war. At this point, aliens invade the Earth.

Okay, this series is definitely alien space bats, but it's good ASB.

No list of alternate history novels can fail to include Harry Turtledove. The PhD-trained Byzantine historian is often billed as "the master of alternate history." I wouldn't elevate him that high, but Turtledove is defintely the most prolific published author in the genre.

He is perhaps best known for an alternate timeline that begins with the South winning the American Civil War and ends with the USA and the CSA battling for a final time during World War II. It's a fine series, but if I had to choose, I'd say that his earlier Worldwar series is superior.

(Illustration by John Jude Palencar)

6. Lee at the Alamo by Harry Turtledove. My interest in Turtledove has decreased over time. His recent works are excessively verbose and stretch out story arcs far too long. A more compact and excellent work by Turtledove is his novella Lee at the Alamo.

Don't worry! There's no time travel here. A minor change to real history delays Robert E. Lee's exit from Texas prior to the outbreak of the American Civil War.

7. Gettysburg: A Novel of the Civil War by Newt Gingrich and William R. Forstchen. This is the first novel in a trilogy that imagines the immediate results of a Confederate victory at the Battle of Gettysburg. If you love alternate history or military fiction, this series will keep you on the edge of your seat with excitement.

These two authors also wrote 1945, a fairly strong alternate history in which the US went to war with Japan, but not Germany, during World War II.

(Map of North America in Bring the Jubilee by Federation X)

8. Bring the Jubilee by Ward Moore. This 1953 novel helped popularize the genre of alternate history. It takes place during the Twentieth Century after a Southern victory at Gettysburg and the Civil War. The main character, Hodge McCormick Backmaker, is a historian living in an impoverished and greatly reduced USA. During his life, scientists develop a method for time travel.

9. The Plot Against America by Philip Roth. Philip Roth is a highly respected author of literary fiction--the hoity-toity stuff intellectuals read. He published his own foray into the alternate history genre in 2004. The Plot Against America describes the experiences of his own American Jewish family when President Charles Lindbergh, an anti-Semite who flirted with Nazi Germany, keeps America out of the European War.

The Plot Against America is both good alternate history and solid literary fiction.

10. The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick. The Axis powers are totally victorious in World War II. They conquer and partition America among them. This terrifying vision of a world that never was is often the first introduction that readers have to alternate history.

The work secured Dick a Hugo Award in 1963. I've never found it particularly interesting, but I can't deny that it is a sophisticated work of fiction. Philip K. Dick definitely deserves all of the acclaim that the novel has earned him.

Bonus Item: there is no novel or short story here. Only a question. But it's the most original alternate history scenario that I've ever encountered.

What if you remade Chuck, but with absolutely no sense of humor? What if the only direction you gave actors was to scowl more? What if you threw in hilarious non-jargon like "cyber-rendering" and acted like it made a show seem cool and futuristic? What if I told you this show had already been built?

Here comes Intelligence, CBS's latest procedural, which debuts tonight at 9 p.m. It's scheduled as a miniseries, taking over Hostages' spot starting on Monday, but it plays like every other tech-tinged procedural that seems to run in perpetuity. Lost's Josh Holloway stars as a high-level intelligence operative who has a microchip implanted in his brain — so instead of using a computer or his phone or Google Glass or something, he can just call up that information right from his brain. Is it much faster? Certainly not! It is perhaps more convenient, but he still has to explain out loud to his co-workers what he's doing. "Let's see, there are two models of white vans that fit that description, and only five are in this city … and only one is registered to a suspect. Bingo!" It's a scene that has played out on infinity episodes of Law & Order, with cops crowded around a computer as one person puts search criteria into a database. On Intelligence, Holloway simply narrates this process. If possible, it is more boring this way.

Because this is television and America, Holloway's Gabriel is of course flanked by women doomed to begrudgingly appreciate his roguish ways. CSI alum Marg Helgenberger plays his put-upon boss (do things her way, or don't do 'em at all) and Once Upon a Time's Meghan Ory plays his young, tough new partner, who has to protect him. (Would you believe she has a dark past? Well, she does.) Gabriel is of course a tremendous asset to the American intelligence-gathering world, but his unique skills also make him a target. The doctor who created the chip that's implanted? He's a target too. Everyone's a target! Such is the high-stakes world of Intelligence. Punch punch punch, shoot shoot shoot, computer computer computer. [Fin.]

Let's just call Intelligence competently made. It's fine. There's a guy, he's like a Robocop, his wife is a spy who maybe got turned — it's all perfectly sound on a functional level. It's just fundamentally impossible to care about. He's a super-spy weapon for the United States of America! So? The guy who made his brain chip is like a father to him! O…kay. He might be able to think like a computer, but he has feelings like a human being! Right. I know. It just don't matter. Sci-fi twists should tell us something about the moral conditions of the universe. So he has a chip in his brain. Is that good? Or bad? Does that represent anything grander? There's no "so what" to Intelligence, no interesting or unexpected consequences. It doesn't even have the decency to be snappy or charming. The most notable aspect of the show is how fully it has embraced the current trend of full eyebrows on both its male and female characters.

CBS has eleven hour-long scripted dramas airing now. Ten of them, including Intelligence, are cop shows; the eleventh is The Good Wife, which is a lawyer show. It's going to take a lot more than being really good at using the Internet to stand out.

Read more posts by Margaret Lyons

Filed Under: intelligence ,tv ,tv review ,josh holloway

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nickelodeon:

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake… unless he’s facing the other direction, in which case he doesn’t see you at all.

HOW DID I MISS THIS!? I don’t even care that it is January. 

I find it a little uncomfortable having my first post of a new year be about something I don't completely understand, but I have no problem embracing ambiguity - especially to further the cause of humor.

So, have you every played Cards Against Humanity? I have, twice, and I still don't really understand it. I mean, I laugh at the funny words, but I just don't get it. But I do get that Emily at Shelf Check is working on a Cards Against Librarianship version:

Emily also says that she hopes to have a printable version available in a week or so, before ALA Midwinter, so keep an eye on Shelf Check.

And in case you are a Cards Against Humanity fan, they also have a research lab that lets you test out and rate new cards by playing an online version.

Thanks Sharon for sending me these links.

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, LURKING IN THE DARK AREAS AT THE CORNERS OF YOUR VISION, WAITING FOR THE TIME TO BE RIPE, FOR YOU TO BE RIPE

— Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) December 30, 2013

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, CROONING A DIRGE OF KNIVES, HEARTS BEATING IN A TERRIFYINGLY UNIFIED RYTHM, HEARTS THEY HOLD TOWARDS YOU, DRIPPING

— Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) December 28, 2013

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, WAKING FROM FITFUL SLEEP, PALE TONGUES TASTING THE AIR, RESTLESS BENEATH BORROWED SKIN, WAITING FOR THEIR SUMMONS

— Dread Singles (@hottestsingles) November 21, 2013

Romance is a captivating attraction that drags you into the bowels of a madness that will destroy you before you can ever understand it. And hot singles in your area want to give it to you tonight!

Dread Singles is a Twitter feed that mixes up the words of the horror writer H.P. Lovecraft with dating websites spam advertisements. Sign up now to destroy your soul!

-via Nerdcore

SMBC Comics

A post on Slate today claims that women with red hair are sexualized and men with red hair are reviled. We're here to say LONG LIVE RED-HEADED MEN.

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Are you slowly killing your houseplants? Probably. But there might be a reason other than neglect that they’re all yellow and wilting: your Wi-Fi router.

An experiment by a handful of high school students in Denmark has sparked some serious international interest in the scientific community.

Five ninth-grade girls at Hjallerup School in North Jutland, Denmark, noticed they had trouble concentrating after sleeping with their mobile phones at their bedsides. They tried to figure out why. The school obviously doesn’t have the equipment to test human brain waves, so the girls decided to do a more rudimentary experiment. Read more...

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