Kate

You might’ve heard murmurs about Memphis Milano. Maybe you read that it inspired Millennial Pink, have seen hints of its brash style on Pinterest, or you’ve noticed all your cool friends started following @ettoresottsass on Instagram. However you might’ve first come upon it, or even if you haven’t learned how to classify it just yet, the clashing colors, blocky shapes, and loud patterns of Memphis Milano are back.

The movement began in 1981 in Milan with a group of designers led by Ettore Sottsass (who died in 2007 and does not run that Instagram page, although his associates have approved the 25-year-old who does). It was a reaction to what he found as the staid, structured straight lines of mid-century-modern furniture, so he and his group disregarded “good taste” in favor of the radical, funny, and outrageous. It was a philosophy more than a design imperative. For the Memphis group, form did not need to follow function.

The legend is that they’re called Memphis because the group listened to Bob Dylan’s “Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues” on repeat for their entire first meeting. They debuted their first collection at the world’s premiere design show, Salone de Mobile, in 1981, using cheap materials like laminate, bright primary colors, and weird, surprising shapes like spheres for couch legs. Almost all of the pieces in that very first show were prototypes, which is common for design shows now only because of Memphis. Before, every piece of furniture presented needed to be ready for mass production, which is why manufacturers wouldn’t take risks on new designers. Memphis, again, was a reaction to that. “Memphis broke everything,” says Dr. Alberto Bianchi Albrici, who has owned the Memphis brand since the 1990s.

Although its wacky look subtly influenced the late-’80s (think Saved by the Bell) the furniture was for the most part commercially rejected. Instead it managed to attract a small, loyal group of obsessives before breaking up for good when Sottsass left the group, in 1986. It’s the type of style you either love or find completely bewildering. Karl Lagerfeld bought Sottsass’s entire first collection (and eventually sold it at auction in 1991). There’s a wedding photographer in Tennessee who will only decorate his home with original 1980s Memphis.

But it mostly disappeared from attention until 2007, when Sottsass died and Memphis began creeping back into the mainstream design world. By 2014, American Apparel had asked Nathalie du Pasquier, an original Memphis artist, to design a collection. That same year, Sofia Coppola wrote in W about how she’s been obsessed with Memphis since she was a young girl. Last November, David Bowie’s estate auctioned his art collection at Sotheby’s where it was revealed that he had collected more than 400 pieces since he first met Sottsass in the ’80s.

Now the Met Breuer is planning an Sottsass show for July and museums in Amsterdam, Pittsburgh, and Minneapolis are all working on Memphis-related exhibitions for next year. “I think we keep reexamining it because there’s a part of it that’s still very irreverent and jarring,” says Lorry Dudley, president of the Modern Archive. “It still has that shock value that it did so many years ago.”

Lots of young designers, sick of mid-century-modern everything, are riffing on Memphis designs these days. But while they’re using a lot of the same patterns and shapes, the colors are generally a little less intense; whites and grays instead of primary reds, yellows, and blues. And though original Memphis designs are still available for purchase, we’ve collected some more affordable and surprising takes below.

In 2013, the London design store Darkroom launched a Memphis-inspired collection called “So Sottsass.” This colorful plate is so Sottsass.

So Sottsass decorative plate

So Sottsass decorative plate $151, yoox

Another Darkroom piece. Still so Sottsass.

Darkroom London Vase

Darkroom London Vase $85, Yoox

This swooping design lives in the Memphis spirit, as does this other option from the design team called Menu that takes inspiration from Memphis’s love of big round spheres.

Candelabrum

Candelabrum $234, Yoox

Curvaceous and kind of alien, but in a good way.

Nappula Candelabra

Nappula Candelabra $222, Need Supply Co.

A light Memphis touch for parties to teach everyone where Millennial Pink comes from.

Memphis Grid Plates

Memphis Grid Plates $10, Etsy

Opening Ceremony’s collaboration with ’80s cool-kid brand Esprit is full of Memphis pops of color. They also have this dress that’s a lot like Sottsass’s bacteria print.

Opening Ceremony x Espirit multicolor patterned scarf

Opening Ceremony x Espirit multicolor patterned scarf $70, The Real Real

Brooklyn designer Dusen Dusen’s entire collection gleefully nods to Memphis. West Elm paired her squiggly cushion on top of designer Eric Trine’s mint-green base, and although it’s meant for outdoors, I can easily see this in the living room.

Eric Trine + Dusen Dusen Outdoor Lounge Chair

Eric Trine + Dusen Dusen Outdoor Lounge Chair $419, West Elm

Add Memphis to any outfit.

Camille Walala Cotton Tote Bag

Camille Walala Cotton Tote Bag $8, Etsy

Add Memphis to anything.

Memphis-Inspired Fabric With Spoonflower

Memphis-Inspired Fabric With Spoonflower $27, Amazon

Memphis for the bedroom.

Society6 Memphis-Inspired Pattern 3 Duvet Covers

Society6 Memphis-Inspired Pattern 3 Duvet Covers $100, Amazon

A starter piece for the couch.

Fjfz Cotton Linen Home Decorative Throw Pillow Case Cushion Cover

Fjfz Cotton Linen Home Decorative Throw Pillow Case Cushion Cover $8, Amazon

This one from Darkroom London stays quiet on the color side, but goes full pattern.

So Sottsass pillow

So Sottsass pillow $132, Yoox

This one reminds me of The Rugrats, which I’m now realizing was probably Memphis-inspired too.

Afro80’s T-shirt

Afro80’s T-shirt $44, Etsy

Memphis for the neckline.

Bib pendant, Rick Rack

Bib pendant, Rick Rack $65, Etsy

My favorite of them all, a standing work of art from French mobile designers VOLTA Paris.

Standing mobile/colorful stabile in metal inspired by Memphis Milano design

Standing mobile/colorful stabile in metal inspired by Memphis Milano design $155, Etsy

New York City jewelry designer Susan Alexandra adds Memphis squiggles and shapes to her brass cuff.

Memphis Painted Cuff

Memphis Painted Cuff $158, Anthropologie

With polka dots!

Lotta spot plates

Lotta spot plates $3, Spring

Memphis on the go.

Abstract phone case

Abstract phone case $40, Spring

This one’s fittingly titled Memphis Boobs. There’s also a PG-rated print of Memphis lipstick.

Memphis Boobs

Memphis Boobs $28, Spring

A colorful hair piece by Dream Collective, whose entire brand is pretty much inspired by Memphis.

Mykonos barette

Mykonos barette $66, Spring

Another Dream Collective original.

Zeppelin brooch

Zeppelin brooch $30, Spring

This Japanese “face bank” is just the right amount of weird.

Takada Collection Face Bank 2 Light Pink (japan import) by Banpresto

Takada Collection Face Bank 2 Light Pink (japan import) by Banpresto $30, Amazon

A bright blue that’s very Memphis.

Nora Wooden Folding Chair

Nora Wooden Folding Chair $79, Urban Outfitters

The confetti design (mixed into recycled plastic) is similar to Sottsass’s bacteria print. The pattern also comes in salad plates.

Zak Rainbow Confetti Nesting Bowl Set

Zak Rainbow Confetti Nesting Bowl Set $40, Urban Outfitters

Those black-and-white lines are perfect to lay out on.

Slowtide Visions Beach Towel

Slowtide Visions Beach Towel $60, Urban Outfitters

The copper is very current, the circle is very Memphis.

Blair Circle Table Lamp

Blair Circle Table Lamp $29, Urban Outfitters

A pop of color for the coats and bags.

Gillian Wall Hook

Gillian Wall Hook $29, Urban Outfitters

Can’t you just imagine these all over 1980s Milan?

Ball Drop Earrings in Chartreuse

Ball Drop Earrings in Chartreuse $78, Need Supply Co.

Studs with a little something extra.

Multistone Pebble Earrings

Multistone Pebble Earrings $550, Need Supply Co.

Memphis was wavy before everyone else.

Wave Collar

Wave Collar $28, Need Supply Co.

It’s time to embrace soft curves.

Modern Coffee Table I

Modern Coffee Table I $640, All Modern

Stick on these nail wraps because it’s easier than getting a tattoo.

Post Modern

Post Modern $16, Spring

This shape is just so ’80s.

Post Modern Black & White Tea Pot

Post Modern Black & White Tea Pot $45, Amazon

Memphis for babies.

Inchworm Alley — “Memphis Milano Heads” Unisex, 100% Organic Cotton Bodysuit Onesie

Inchworm Alley — “Memphis Milano Heads” Unisex, 100% Organic Cotton Bodysuit Onesie $33, Amazon

Hang this one on a white wall to add some life to any room.

ModMade Spoke Wall Clock, Red

ModMade Spoke Wall Clock, Red $70, Amazon

Land of Nod’s Lo-Res rug is technically for a kid’s room, but can add a colorful Memphis touch anywhere around the house.

Lo-Res rug

Lo-Res rug $299, Spring

Memphis is perhaps most known for the Carlton bookshelf, and this one is slanted too.

X Marks the Red Book Caddy

X Marks the Red Book Caddy $99, Land of Nod

There’s that pattern again.

Raw mark pitcher

Raw mark pitcher $125, Recreational Center

Even if we leave alone that stripe, just the idea of a stool specifically for milking is very Memphis.

Blue Milking Stool

Blue Milking Stool $1,100, Coming Soon New York

It’s a chair, but it’s also a domino.

Domino Chair

Domino Chair $650, Spadone Home

This one’s supposed to feel like you’re grabbing onto an industrial door handle.

Heavy Metal mug

Heavy Metal mug $50, Spadone Home

This Kartell stool was first released in 2015 as a tribute to Ettore Sottsass and Memphis.

Pilastro stool

Pilastro stool $390, Y Living

And this Kartell table lamp was part of the same collection.

Take table lamp

Take table lamp $140, Y Living

A very Memphis tray.

Parana

Parana $682, Yoox

The Strategist is designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best women’s jeans, rolling luggage, bed sheets, coffee makers, and bath towels. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.

Every editorial product is independently selected. If you buy something through our links, New York may earn an affiliate commission.

josephscrimshaw:

This Target display asks the provocative question: What if Batman and Superman had a baby?

The story of the greatest pet brush of all time begins in a Missouri pet salon named Groomingdale’s, where Angie Porter was perfecting the art of combing canines. By holding a turned-off clipper blade in her hand and dragging it lightly through the dog’s coat, she could remove vast quantities of loose fur otherwise destined to be shed all over the backseat of someone’s car. Using just the blade was cumbersome, though, so Porter and her husband hit upon the idea of attaching a handle to the blade, and invented the FURminator in 2002. The brand now encompasses shampoos, sprays, and nail clippers, but the standout is still the comb (you can get one for dogs, too).

The FURminator sounds simple, and it is: a metal comb, whose teeth are long enough that they can reach through your pet’s topcoat to any fur trapped or matted beneath it, attached to a plastic handle with a rubber grip. There is also a little button you can push to release the fur that collects in the comb. This simplicity (and the $30-plus price tag) makes people suspicious: Google “FURminator,” and you’ll find people on pet message boards asking, “Is it worth it?” The answer is almost always a resounding yes. Often, these yeses are accompanied by photographs of the truly astonishingly enormous heaps of fur these owners have dredged off their cats, which are often larger than the cats themselves, who also appear in the pictures, looking smooth and glossy and smug. The benefits are more than fur deep, though, and include preventing hair balls — if you remove your cat’s excess fur with a FURminator, he doesn’t have to do it himself with his tongue.

FURminator Short Hair deShedding Tool for Cats

FURminator Short Hair deShedding Tool for Cats $29, Amazon

“My cats like their cardboard ice-cream truck from Famous Oto. It’s so funny to see one sitting in it. The other one usually then gets on top and bops the crap out of whoever is driving the truck, through the window. Famous Oto now also makes a Brooklyn House for cats.” — Kristin Perrotta. Read more about the best gifts for cats.

OTO Ice Cream Truck for Cats

OTO Ice Cream Truck for Cats $45, Amazon

“If you haven’t heard of Da Bird, here’s the lowdown: It’s this ingenious piece-of-shit, flimsy plastic stick with a skinny elastic string that dangles a bunch of feathers from it. All cats go mental for it, but the feathers fall off, like, every time you use it because the cats are absolutely rabid and trying to eat the damn thing, and the string and stick break constantly, too. Still, it makes them so happy … so we buy the replacements.” — Kristin Perrotta. Read more about the best gifts for cats.

Da Bird

Da Bird $10, Amazon

“The only scratching post any cat I’ve ever had used — and seemed to really like to scratch and sleep on — is the cardboard one that looks like the symbol for infinity, the PetFusion Cat Scratcher Lounge. It’s great because it’s cool-looking and you can flip it over when your cat annihilates one side. They can also play in the holes and bop each other in the face through them. Always fun to watch.” — Kristin Perrotta. Read more about the best gifts for cats.

PetFusion Ultimate Cat Scratcher Lounge

PetFusion Ultimate Cat Scratcher Lounge $50, Amazon

The Strategist is designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best women’s jeans, rolling luggage, pillows for side sleepers, ultra-flattering pants, and bath towels. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.

Every editorial product is independently selected. If you buy something through our links, New York may earn an affiliate commission.

• Take a tour of Jennifer Perkins’ parents’ pink Victorian home: ‘The Birthday Cake House.’
  “The house was white and the carpet was soaked with cat urine when my parents decided to take a leap of faith and buy their very own never-ending DIY project.”

• The restoration of Frank Lloyd Wright’s Unity Temple here in Oak Park is nearly complete, just in time for what would have been his 150th birthday.
  We had the rehearsal dinner for our wedding there, but I haven’t been inside in ages. I’m eager to see it again!

• It may be that you like your IKEA furniture more because you put it together yourself.

• Scientists sometimes have wonderfully bizarre carry-on items.
  “My strategy was to pretend that everything I was doing was perfectly normal.”

• Not super excited about clothes on the racks right now tbh.

• In honor of the latest GOT teaser trailer that has been flooding my Facebook feed…

 

---

I’ve had some near-accordion-purchases lately, but I have yet to acquire one. We had one in the house when I was a kid, but I would be pretty much starting from scratch to learn it (and Brandon’s not so super excited about that prospect). I almost settled for a concertina for sale at an estate sale, but a woman drove in from an hour away just to buy it and I wasn’t about to swoop it out from under her while she browsed (she was still “thinking about it” because they wouldn’t come down on price on the first day of the sale).

Anyways. Happy long weekend!

---

© 2017, published by Making it Lovely as Honor Roll | 3 comments | This post may contains affiliate links; I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

Hi. This isn’t an ad, it’s a thing I use.

I bought an iRing because my friend Ian had one on his phone, and I was covetous.

It’s so useful, I can’t believe everyone doesn’t own one. I mostly use it to stabilize my phone grip when I’m taking photos, but it has saved me from dropping my phone so many times I can’t count.

When it arrives, you pull off a sticky backing a stick it to your phone or case. I’d stick it to a case, because they’re tough to remove otherwise. I don’t love the giant branding, so I’ve been looking at knockoffs and these look pretty good, but the original works and holds up so well that I’ve become a little brand loyal.

Anyway, the little ring part is on a 360-degree swivel, so it only takes a second to make it comfortable, and you can also use the ring as a very stable stand if you want to watch a movie or something. It also comes with a car mount so you can hang it from your dash for navigation and podcasting needs.

I use it every day and it’s perfect. Love, Maggie

The post This iRing Phone Gadget Thing is Bomb appeared first on Mighty Girl.

This made me laugh and think of the good old mixtape days.

What is it about RompHims that’s so obnoxious? Is it the name, which presumes that only by making a “feminine” thing hypermasculine can it be okay for men to adopt (see also: brosé)? Is it the video, in which the bros are posturing in their jumpsuits very, very ironically, so we understand that yes, the whole thing’s a joke? We actually think it’s the short jumpsuits themselves, which honestly are a tad too short, in unflattering, Derby Day–esque shades of pastel that no self-respecting guy would wear in earnest.

Because the thing is, short jumpsuits for males aren’t inherently funny — we actually went and found six that are pretty great. Sure, some are a little 4 a.m. at Berghain, but worn the right way (a few buttons undone and a T-shirt underneath, with white Vans and no-show socks), even the ones from Engineered Garments or Rick Owens would look at home on a rooftop cookout in Bushwick.

Two menswear trends — jumpsuit plus band collar — in one.

ASOS Slim Short Jumpsuit

ASOS Slim Short Jumpsuit $64, ASOS

The trick with this kind of look is to go dark — like this navy version by cult Japanese brand Engineered Garments.

Engineered Garments Combi Suit in Navy

Engineered Garments Combi Suit in Navy $456, Need Supply

Here’s a DIY hack — lop off the pant legs at the knees for an affordable on-trend coverall.

Dickies Short Sleeve Coverall

Dickies Short Sleeve Coverall $35, Amazon

All things considered, a pretty subdued look.

McQ Jumpsuit

McQ Jumpsuit $585, Zappos

If you can’t stand the thought of not wearing jeans. Loop a belt through this, and no one will even know it’s a onesie.

Zara Denim Jumpsuit

Zara Denim Jumpsuit $100, Zara

Okay, this one takes some nerve, but if you worship at the altar of Owens, you’ll appreciate the dropped crotch and drapey form.

Rick Owens Jumpsuit

Rick Owens Jumpsuit $755, Yoox

The Strategist is designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best women’s jeans, rolling luggage, pillows for side sleepers, ultra-flattering pants, and bath towels. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.

Every editorial product is independently selected. If you buy something through our links, New York may earn an affiliate commission.

Remember the letter a few weeks ago from someone who, uh, ended up calling her boss’s daughter a whore? Here’s the update.

Thank you so much for your compassionate response, and to your commenters for their objective input. I am happy to report a relatively good outcome.

There may have been only one or two commenters that guessed this, but it turns out my boss wasn’t upset. Shocked, but not upset. He said he shouldn’t have been talking about his daughter like that at work and he didn’t realize how his comment about me sounded until I reacted like that. Then I apologized and told him that I was completely in the wrong to insinuate that about his daughter. I didn’t qualify or try to explain. He said he understood where that comment came from and that (remarkably) he didn’t take it personally. Things are mostly back to normal since then. Thankfully, no other coworkers were within earshot (this happened in a conference room while waiting for some other coworkers to join us), and I don’t work with clients or customers anyway.

I am still looking for new jobs, though. Also, I don’t think my boss is creepy or “sexist” or whatever people said. He is a good boss.

The comments were very eye-opening. I thought the word was normal and commonly used, because that’s how it was at home (the exact quote I blurted out was screamed at me countless times at home and I was called a whore several times a day by my teachers). To this day, I hear the word used at least weekly outside of work. But now I see that it is beyond the pale. I still think dating is immoral, but there is no need to use such harsh language. I am cutting the word out of my vocabulary. Now.

To all of those saying my behavior is not Christian or that I am not a “true Christian”: I am well aware that Jesus was a friend of prostitutes, but Jesus is not all there is to Christianity. Read your Bibles.

Also, I just wanted to say, I did not feel attacked at all by the comments. I deserved to be attacked, but I was not. It appears some commenters think criticism of Christianity is an “attack” or “bashing,” but this is not so. Criticism of beliefs is alright, and in this case it was much needed. Thank you. There is nothing wrong with a little judgment. If you hadn’t judged me, I wouldn’t have learned.

I wrote back to this letter-writer and said, “Thank you for this update, and for your good grace about the comments! I’m sorry you had that word screamed at you ever, let alone so frequently — that’s horrible and must have been a very difficult way to grow up.”

She replied: “It was a difficult way to grow up *at the time*, but it kept me in line, and thus led me to become a better adult. So in hindsight, I don’t think it’s horrible. (But we’ll probably disagree on that.)”

While I do indeed disagree, I am deeply impressed with letter-writers who handle disagreement from a mob of strangers with this much grace.

Note: A while after this post published, I removed a line from the letter-writer’s update about “sexual deviancy” that seems to refer to LGBTQ people and others. You may see reference to it in the comment section so I wanted to provide that context.

A second note: Because there’s been some question about this below, I want to clarify it here: I do not think bigotry is gracious. Far from it. I think the letter-writer was gracious about accepting a ton of criticism directed her way in the original post, and I think that her stances are pretty awful. I think both of those things can be true at once.

A third note: I closed the comments on this post because of a number of bigoted remarks flooding me in moderation.

update: I accidentally insulted my boss’s daughter was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s Friday everyone!

– The 29 Most Common Social Media Rules

– Cloud Eggs.

– The Fear of Feelings at Work

– “If you’re snubbing your partner in favor of your phone it’s called phubbing (phone + snubbing). If you’re snubbing a person in favor of any type of technology, it’s called technoference.” The Phones We Love Too Much

– Proud to say that me and my big heart made it on the back cover of the Pantsuit Nation Book.

– Pre-orders begin for two styles of the Telsa Motors Solar Roof

– Are robocalls flooding your cellphone? Here’s how you can fight them.

– Self-healing bio-concrete.

– YES! This girls’ soccer team joined a boys’ league, and won it

– The birthplace of soy sauce

– Stream 18 Hours of Free Guided Meditations

– Cool new series of videos from Apple, showing how to get the most from your iPhone camera.

– Deray interviewed Snowden.

– Some actually made Sean Spicer lawn ornaments you can put in your bushes

– Do One Thing Well

– “The Poor Man’s Selfie Drone” by Nico Vuignier

– I am currently in Switzerland and just learned that there is a company in Brooklyn selling authentic Swiss sausages.

– In these politically confusing times, I keep reminding myself of this.

A new someone to follow on Instagram! Joshua Werber‘s floral headpieces make me happy. Thanks, Ainsley!

The post Joshua Werber’s Floral Headpieces appeared first on Mighty Girl.

Three letters, one answer.

1. Our new-ish CEO is terrible

I work for a company with about 600 employees, I am part of the senior management team. The current CEO took over a couple of years ago and things are slowly getting worse.

Nobody is authorized to make decisions anymore – everything has to be reviewed and approved by the CEO (down to things like written warnings to employees). On top of that, he is not good at making decisions himself – if the options available are less than ideal, he will delay deciding on an issue, ask everyone to do all kinds of research for “additional” information (it rarely is new or useful for the actual decision or it has been presented to him already, but then he will question its validity and send people off to verify it, again), call a number of meetings to “discuss” things (but there is no real discussion going on at this point – everyone knows that he will be the one making the decision anyway and it’s pointless) – everything takes forever to get done and every day feels like wading against the current. I think he’s afraid of making the wrong decision and the whole company is affected by this complete lock-down.

He also has some pre-set notions about what is “right” and “appropriate” but it is impossible to figure out why he holds those beliefs because he usually won’t even discuss those issues and will end any attempt with “we will not be doing this,” sometimes even in a raised voice. To a room full of senior management.

Access to the board is strictly controlled. Most employees don’t even know who is on our board at all. At a strategic planning meeting with the board, senior management was told to not make any jokes, not mention certain things that came out of the employee engagement survey (those have been completely ignored and did not make it into the strategic plan, of course) and had assigned seats during lunch, away from the board. The company is doing well and the CEO is a nice guy so the board has no reason to even suspect that any of this is going on.

Everyone on the senior management team is unhappy, frustrated and getting more and more fed up with being treated like children. And nobody has a solution for this other than looking for other jobs. But the company is great and some people have been in their jobs for a couple of decades – is there a way to salvage this situation?

Your boss sucks and isn’t going to change.

I suppose it’s possible that a group of you in senior management could talk to the board (if you can find out who they are!), but that’s not a guarantee that you’ll get the outcome you want. It’s entirely possible that they’d just tell the CEO to deal with it, or that they’d nudge him to change a bit but not do anything else.

There’s a danger in getting too attached to an organization that you’ve been at for a long while. Right now it sounds like people don’t want to leave because they used to like the company — but that’s not the same company you’re at now.

2. My boss sent me a text tantrum because we weren’t concerned enough when she was sick

I have two bosses who own the office and are married. We are in the middle of a huge transition and one did not come in today. She is in and out frequently so I didn’t notice and sent her two emails with neutral requests for information and texted her the deposit amount as usual.

After I left work, I received a tantrum style text message “thanking” me and another coworker for our lack of concern over her illness. It said: “I’d like to thank both of you for your insensitivity during my illness. I’ve been really sick and almost went to the ER and not a one of you ever said I hope you feel better! You just keep sending demands and requests. You sure as hell don’t have a problem texting me when you don’t feel well and can’t come to work. Your lack of empathy for people better change. Cause I’m sick to death of this kind of behavior from staff.”

I was not informed that she was sick. I knew she was busy and tired, so I had sent two non demand-y requests for information by email. My coworker texted her a number at her husband’s request, one neutral question, and a video of a baby goat.

This is not her first tantrum. Bringing it to the attention of her boss (er, spouse) will likely get me a dismissive excuse or a response where he joins in her tirade of my apparent uncaring attitude.

I have no problem texting her when I am sick as she declared, because I am required to. I also respond to text messages and calls for information when I’m off sick without complaint. We have even been working extra hours to make this transition as smooth as possible and I’m just not sure how to respond to her increasingly negative outbreaks. How can I address this behavior?

Your boss sucks and isn’t going to change.

You could certainly try saying, “I was really surprised by your text because no one had told me that you were sick. I text you when I’m too sick to work because that’s our policy, so I was confused by your mention of that. This was such an odd text to receive — is there something going on that I don’t realize?”

But really, you’re dealing with someone with zero professionalism who threw a text tantrum because people didn’t baby her enough when she didn’t feel well. And she’s married to your other boss, who apparently is similar.

There’s only one conclusion here.

3. My boss personally attacks me when she changes her mind

I work in a creative capacity, producing work that is pretty subjective. My boss is a woman with unspeakably bad communication skills. Not only is she unable to articulate her demands clearly, she is also the queen of moving goalposts — what constitutes “good” to her changes on a daily basis, depending on her mood. This is a recipe for disaster, and after working with her for 13 months, I’ve learned that it takes 20 stabs in the dark before I can even guess what her mental vision for a project is. (Usually, her vision ends up being totally contrary to her stated wishes at the beginning.)

The problem? When my work doesn’t align with her “mental vision” or when she “forgets” what she instructed me to do last week or when she changes her mind suddenly, her reaction is to rant. But instead of talking about my work, she turns everything into a personal attack. “I don’t know why you think I’ll accept such crappy work.” / “Are you trying to waste my time? I can see that you put zero effort in this.” / “What is wrong with you? Did you just decide to produce low-quality work today?”

How do I re-direct this boss’s attention back to the work instead? Her comments on me (besides being aggressive and unfair) do not help me produce the work that she actually wants. I’ve tried inserting questions like, “Can you tell me where the problem is?” or “What would you like to see here?” but she never actually answers me. Once, she replied with, “I don’t know, but this is not what I wanted!” Usually, she’ll send me out of her office with the bewildering: “Maybe you just need more time to think about it. You figure it out!”

I work hard at my job, and I never submit work that *I* think is second-rate. But my boss seems to think I’m deliberately messing with her when my output doesn’t magically match her “mental vision”. Is there any polite way for me to explain, “I’m sorry I’m not telepathic”? Should I even defend myself and my work ethic when my output is so subjective? And most importantly, how do I get my boss to start giving clear, concise feedback?

Your boss sucks and isn’t going to change.

She has no idea how to manage effectively and she sounds like a mean, shitty person.

All you can really do is decide whether you can work there reasonably happily in spite of her, or whether it’s time to look for another job.

your boss sucks and isn’t going to change was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

If you’ve ever watched HBO’s comedy Veep, starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus, you know that Selina Meyer’s workwear represents some serious wardrobe #goals. First she was the vice president — then the president! — and, well, if you’re not yet caught up to season 6 we’ll leave it at that. Part of the plot is that she’s bumbling, inconsequential, doesn’t accomplish anything — and is super mean about all of it to her staffers while presenting a smiling face to the public. Her main goal seems to be staying in power for power’s sake. But whether you think she’s a brilliant politician or her character represents a big part of the problem, her wardrobe is always on point. We wondered what lessons we could learn by taking a look at her wardrobe, and if you wanted to, what are the best tips for how to dress like Selina Meyer in Veep? What are her style secrets?

Selina Meyer Style Secret #1: An Amazing Tailor — and a Willingness to Let the Dress Speak For Itself

Selina Mayer not only has clothes that are incredibly tailored to her body, but she also makes a fairly bold move with what some would see as under-accessorizing. Sure, she’s wearing a delicate necklace and gold bracelet in the picture above with the blue dress, but with all of these looks I know I would be tempted to add a brooch or a heavier, more statement-y necklace — she does not, and it ends up being a very decisive, let’s-get-down-to-business look. It’s also interesting to note that she prefers solids or allover patterns like animal prints — she’s not really one for stripes or floral details.

Selina Meyer’s Working Wardrobe: The Skirt Suit

We often see Selina wearing a skirt suit — she’s very rarely in a pantsuit, and only sometimes in a dress + jacket combo. I’m not sure if that’s a commentary on women politicians having to dress in affirmatively feminine ways (she rarely wears pants at all — I can only think of times when she’s traveling or at home relaxing when we’ve seen her in pants), or if it’s something less nefarious like her wardrobe team thinking skirt suits look better on Louis-Dreyfus’s body type or something — but I love the skirt suits and think they’re a great formal look.

Selina Likes Personality Necklines

I’ve called these kinds of necklines “personality necklines” before — the scalloped neckline in the red dress, the unusual portrait/cowl neckline in the pink, the wide collar of the black, or the four-point, squared neckline of the purple dress — and she rocks them all. They help to keep with her style of minimal yet bold dressing.

How to Dress Like Selina Meyer in Veep: Learn to Love the Secretary Blouse

She wears a surprising number of fitted blouses with skirts in general, but the looser, bowed version seems to be a particular favorite of hers. In real life I often find these kinds of blouses to be a bit too fussy and complicated — where exactly do you tie the bow, again? — but Selina Meyer’s stylish collection makes the tie-neck blouse look like an easy, almost default choice.

A Good Belt Goes Far

I was intrigued by how many belts I noticed her wearing — they emphasize the tailoring and her trim figure, but I think they also add some visual interest to the outfits. I like the black wide belt with the white blouse the best (the picture above on the phone at far left), but the matching belts in the red and navy pictures were interesting and nice, and the slender belts of the green dress and skirt suit were also great.

A Brooch Can Add Some Serious Personality

In earlier seasons she wore more brooches with cardigans, dresses, and blazers. I’ve written before of my love of a good brooch, and we’ve talked about how to wear brooches in the past as well.

Some items you can buy right now inspired by Veep‘s clothing:

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

(Note that there’s an arrow to go to the “next page” of the widget below! Most links go to Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Bloomingdale’s, Macy’s, Talbots, or Lord & Taylor.)

The post How To Dress Like Selina Meyer in Veep appeared first on Corporette.com.

Flour Crown No. 10: pizelles, stroopwafels, milk flavor pocky, honey nut cheerios, and a madeleine cookie.

The late artist Marisol—who was once dubbed by fellow artist Rolando Peńa the “undisputed queen of pop art”—left her entire estate to the Albright-Knox Art Gallery in Buffalo, New York. This is a major win for the museum, which describes the gift as the largest in its history.

In addition to 100 sculptures, the museum has been bequeathed more than 150 works on paper, thousands of photographs and slides, Marisol’s archive, library, tools, and her TriBeCa home and studio. The museum will create an online archive for the works and build a dedicated gallery for highlights of the bequest as part of its planned expansion. The artist’s TriBeCa home and studio will be sold to help fund the ambitious project, which is due to open in 2021.

Marisol was born María Sol Escobar in Paris in 1930. She is best known for sculptural works that combine folk art, Dada, and Surrealism and explore the social role of women in the 1960s. The artist also gained a reputation for her beauty and persona. The New York Times refers to a 1965 description of the “Marisol legend,” defined by “her chic, bones-and-hollows face,” “glossy black hair,” “mysterious reserve,” and “faraway, whispery voice.”

Before she passed away in April 2016 at the age of 85, she had long held ties with the Albright-Knox. It was the first institution to acquire one of her works: a 1963 sculpture called The Generals. Now, a new gallery slated to open in autumn 2021 will be named in Marisol’s honor in recognition of the bequest.

Though she enjoyed moderate success throughout her career, it was not until later in life that Marisol gained significant recognition. According to the artnet Price Database, The Cocktail Party (in 15 parts), a work completed between 1965 and 1966, sold for $912,000 at Sotheby’s New York in 2005.

In 2014, the Museo del Barrio was the first New York museum to present a one-person exhibition of Marisol’s work, and was the first retrospective to show works on paper alongside her sculptures.

The Albright-Knox’s director Janne Sirén said in a statement, “We are moved, and profoundly grateful, that Marisol…took the extraordinary step of leaving her estate to our museum.”

The post Marisol Gifted Her Entire Estate to the Albright-Knox Art Gallery appeared first on artnet News.

Photo by Katie Stratton

Roundup of the “most Coachella” outfits at this year’s festival. I particularly like the line of girls laughing mirthlessly and gazing into the middle distance.

Terrifying Glass Bottom Pool in Houston Lets You Swim 500 Feet Over the City Noooope.

I’m curious about these Moment iPhone Lenses. Supposedly they’re high quality telephoto, macro, and wide-angle lenses that mitigate the need to carry a huge DSLR. Which would be good because I keep taking my DSLR places and failing to remove it from my bag.

Did you hear that Taser is offering free body cameras to all U.S. Law Enforcement?

This video of the system for crossing the street at the Boston Marathon is efficiency porn.

Truth.

Army Guy gummies via Laughing Squid

A solar-powered device that pulls water from desert air.

My fully optimized life allows me ample time to optimize yours.

I got you something,
Maggie

The post Fridaaaaay, Links! appeared first on Mighty Girl.

mcconville:

50. Sherri’s Berries

49. Squarespace

48. Vegan Workouts by Rhonda

47. Beigenest

46. Simplisafe

45. Oilyrope

44. Framebridge

43. Mapleberry Artisan Kit Homes

42. Buttz

41. Brad’s Dads

40. Mailchimp

39. Salsa Butler

38. Furniture Dick’s 

37. Cards Against Humanity

36. Pocket Koran

35. stripclubarchitect.com

34. KONY2012

33. DNA Solverz

32. Harry’s Razors

31. Cassette Taxi

30. Morty’s Shorties

29. Edible Arrangements

28. desperadoregistry.com

27. Airtight Alibis

26. MVMT Watches

25. Hot Dail-gity Dog, the daily hot dog delivery service that brings fresh hot frankfurters to your door once a day every day for the rest of your natural nitrate-free life!

24. Mansplainers

23. Fabergé Egg of the Month Club

22. Bodyarmor Warehouse

21. Visit Finland!

20. Blue Apron

19. Antiquated Agribusiness Magazine

18. trialsurrogate.com

17. Darryl’s Barrels

16. Subway

15. The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., now on blu-ray!

14. Kitelady 

13. Jalopy Sauce

12. Casper Mattresses

11. Place Genie

10. Slåšš!

9. The Board Game Network

8. Cryolunch

7. Field Notes

6. Blister Friend

5. Car Exchange

4. American Slop

3. babycollege.com

2. porkcostume.net

1. Mack Weldon

I lost some time to the Inbox of Forgotten Emails, a collaborative project between MailChimp and Creative Mornings.

The site lets you share emails you wrote but never sent, and it reminds me of something I once read about the appeal of the early personal Web, “Knowing someone without having to know them.” Also, reminds me of a long-form PostSecret.

The post Inbox of Forgotten Emails appeared first on Mighty Girl.

Yes, you can match up that gunshot with a change in beat

Continue reading…

My life is complete, I have found device that enables me to have Confetti High Fives.

(Thanks Karen)

Don’t be alarmed. Actually, scratch that. Be very alarmed. You see, I did something the right way for the first time in my life and I guess that means I’m now an adult. Or, I’m the adult I always wanted to be when I was that...

Remember this video I mentioned a few days ago? I couldn’t stop thinking about it and how happy it made me, so Brad and I made a pin.

The pin also makes me happy. You can get one here, and then we can identify each other in the streets and hug stiffly.

I love you, robots.

The post I Love You Robot Pins appeared first on Mighty Girl.

The internet’s been abuzz over the fact that you can buy Samoas, Thin Mints, and Tagalongs on Amazon now. As big Amazon shoppers ourselves, we were intrigued: Was there really a way with Prime to get our cookies in two days? Without waiting for a coworker to bring in the three boxes of Trefoils we ordered from her niece? We called a spokesperson for the Girl Scouts of the USA to find out.

So you guys are selling Girl Scout cookies on Amazon now?
No, we definitely are not. Whatever you’re seeing on Amazon is coming from resellers.

Oh, but they are real Girl Scout cookies. That doesn’t sound so bad.
Well, the Girl Scout cookie program is a financial literacy tool for girls. We’re trying to help them learn, and for them to do that, they have to be the ones doing the selling, interacting with a customer (either online or in person), making the change, learning the skills. Buying the cookies through Amazon is giving people access to cookies without access to Girl Scouts, which undercuts the programmatic element.

I’m sure it cuts into the sales, too.
Well, the cookies were bought at one point, so that sale has been made. It’s not about the sales. It’s costing the girls the opportunity to grow, which is what the program’s actually about.

Is the Amazon thing new?
The Amazon phenomenon is not new. Legally, what they can’t do is sell them for more than what they’re worth. It’s kind of like scalping. It’s legal as long as you don’t overcharge.

But people are selling them for ten bucks or more.
Yes, we’re noticing that. At that point, our legal team is aware and uses its discretion with cease-and-desists. It’s a trademark-infringement thing.

So what would you say to someone who wants to buy Girl Scout cookies then?
Go to www.girlscoutcookies.org and look for a booth sale near you — the site will direct you to Girl Scouts in your area. Or if you want to buy them online, they may know a Girl Scout who has a digital-cookie website, if they don’t want to leave the house.

But you can’t just go to the digital site to buy if you don’t know a Girl Scout?
Right, even online, someone must know the actual Girl Scout. We want to create some form of personal interaction, even if it’s online.

There must be a quality-control issue with cookies sold on Amazon, too.
Exactly, we caution against sales of cookies bought online because you don’t really know. They can be expired. They can be from three or four years ago. We can’t guarantee they haven’t been opened or tampered with.

One last time: Even if the manufacturer claims to be “Girl Scouts” or “Little Brownie Bakers,” there is no official way to buy Girl Scout cookies on Amazon.
That is correct. The only sanctioned ways are the two I mentioned earlier. There’s no other way. Not on Amazon, not on eBay, not anywhere else you find them.

The Strategist is designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best women’s jeans, rolling luggage, pillows for side sleepers, ultra-flattering pants, and bath towels. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.

Every editorial product is independently selected. If you buy something through our links, New York may earn an affiliate commission.

If you like advice columns, I think you will like Hannah and Matt Know It All, a very fun podcast where Hannah and Matt re-answer questions from other advice columns and field new questions too.

I joined them for this week’s episode, where we talked about:

• some of my favorite Ask a Manager letters, including the person who accidentally hugged her CEO and the employee who was casting magic curses on her coworkers
• last week’s letter about the person who was rejected for a job because of her romantic history
• this E. Jean letter about a coworker conflict
•  this Dear Prudence letter about a family squabble over a beach house
• a question one of their listeners sent in about a terrible neighbor
• the whole question of “fake” letters

You can listen to the whole episode here or on iTunes.

Picture us like this as you listen:

 

me, talking about favorite past letters and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

mcconville:

50. Leggings

49. Armings

48. Giftwrap

47. American Airlines Uniforms

46. Ghillie Suits Fashioned from Airport Terminal Ephemera

45. Oily Ropes

44. Cloaks of the Elders of Gaal-Parânt

43. Dwayne Wayne Shades

42. See-Thru Tuxedo

41. Earth Tones

40. Game-worn Bobby Bonilla Mets Jerseys

39. Strategically Placed Dollar Bills

38. Pope Shit

37. All Laynards

36. Turn Of The Century Beach Attire

35. Wardrobe by Botany 500

34. Homemade White Tape Bodysuits Inspired by Milla Jovovich’s Fifth Element Costume

33. The Robes of Jesus Christ

32. Anything with a Kinda Weird Pattern

31. Most Sports Apparel

30. Barrels with Suspenders

29. Hypercolor

28. Samsung Galaxy 7 Slacks

27. Pre-1991 Bikinis

26. Lasersuits

25. Any Clothing Item Weighing Over 5 Tons

24. Neurotoxin by Calvin Klein

23. Blasphemer’s Shame Caps

22. Bolo Ties

21. Immaculate Replicas of Milla Jovovich’s Fifth Element Costume

20. Most Milks

19. Other Humans Posing as Clothing

18. Blacksmith Bibs

17. Whitesmith Bibs

16. Garments That Are Difficult for Colorblind People To See

15. Jammies

14. Rings of Bureaucratic Wizardry

13. Bubblewrap

12. Mixology Attire

11. Service Animal Vests

10. Orc Diplomacy Armor

9. Milla Jovovich’s Actual Fifth Element Costume

8. Any Garment Fashioned out of Human Remains

7. Loose Fitting Tight Clothes

6. Certain Flannels

5. Any Item Purchased in a Store

4. Fabrics That Have Been Touched By Bleach or Detergent

3. Anything Red

2. Virtual Clothes

1. Flip-flops

If you’re like us, you’ve probably wondered what famous people add to their carts. Not the JAR brooch and Louis XV chair, but the hand sanitizer and the electric toothbrush. We asked RuPaul, whose show RuPaul’s Drag Race premieres its ninth season at 8pm on VH1 tonight (with Monday encores on Logo), which items he can’t live without.

The Strategist is designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best women’s jeans, rolling luggage, pillows for side sleepers, ultra-flattering pants, and bath towels. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.

Every editorial product is independently selected. If you buy something through our links, New York may earn an affiliate commission.

Last week, I asked what misconceptions you had when you were new to the work world, and what misconceptions you’ve seen from junior people around you. There were loads of insightful comments, and here are 15 of my favorites.

1. “When I was new to the working world, I thought that my boss knew everything about my work situation, and that if something was wrong or making me unhappy my boss would notice and fix it. If something didn’t get fixed, I assumed that the boss knew and had decided not to do anything about it. I know now that I’m the only person who’s fully immersed in my own day-to-day work, and I have to speak up when I want my boss to fix something (although it’s still difficult to do in practice).”

2. “I would say the biggest misconception I had is about how much people care about ‘who is to blame.’ In some situations, where something dramatically goes wrong, leadership might take root-cause analysis very seriously and pinpointing who did what wrong and when might matter.

In most everyday situations managers/leaders are far more interested in how you plan to fix the issue vs. who was responsible for causing it. That may mean that, yes, you will sometimes get poked in the eye for failures that are completely outside of your control. But that’s better than the black eye you will get from trying to explain (in detail) how the issue actually originated with someone else.”

3. “My biggest misconception about the workplace was that the people in charge will have everything together and really know what they’re doing. The more I work, the more I realize that just because you’ve got a fancy title, doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about.”

4. “A complete lack of processes around you is very likely to hurt you. To explain: it’s good and useful to be able to be spontaneous and figure things out on the fly if there is an emergency. If that is how the day-to-day operations are run, you have a problem, because you won’t have enough space for personal growth – you’re likely to constantly be dropping long term projects at the last minute to fix the immediate stuff. i used to feel very important, until I realized I was stuck because I could never focus on anything long term.”

5. “I’ve spent 8+ years working with entry level customer service reps and innovation was a big focus for me with a number of the teams I’ve worked with. There were two misconceptions I saw A LOT of from newer employees (and honestly, even some who’d been around for a while):

* If a process or tool doesn’t work the way an employee thinks it should, it must be broken and in need of fixing. In a lot of situations where this came up, the employee didn’t have (and didn’t seek out) any background on why we did things the way we did, and just assumed management must be idiots. In reality, there were nearly always valid (and sometimes legal / regulatory) reasons why things worked the way they did. I was always happy to help investigate the why, but I saw a lot of generally good ideas go nowhere because the employee did no research and pitched the idea as if we were all silly for not having thought of it.

* If I see something I perceive to be a problem and report it, my work is done and someone else will fix it. This was especially egregious when the ‘problem’ was nebulously defined and limited to one or two people with no supporting data, but would require a lot of time / effort / money to ‘fix.’

It can be incredibly helpful to have newer eyes help you spot the opportunities in your processes and tools, and come up with innovative solutions the people entrenched in the processes and tools might not think of. But it’s important for employees to do their research, understand the background, and have a workable solution, which is something not everyone knows how to do when they’re new. Being innovative is more than just ‘having brilliant ideas,’ it’s doing the work to make them feasible, too.”

6. “I recently gave my notice, and I’m coming to realize that something that seems SO HUGE to me (quitting my first professional job) is just normal ‘doing business’ to everybody else. It’s a little more complicated than that, but I really expected my resignation to be much more drama filled than it actually was.”

7. “I think my biggest misconception was that I’d get regular feedback and plenty of it, and that I’d know where I stood at all times. As a corollary, I assumed that if anyone had a problem with my work, they would tell me and I would have the ability and opportunity to correct it. So if no one was actually complaining about me, I figured, ‘Hey, I’m doing great! If I wasn’t, someone would have told me.’

I think this was probably a carryover from both the school environment (where you get report cards telling you how you’re doing and you get your papers back with lots of comments on them) and my earliest jobs (where I was a teenager and worked for small local businesses, and where my supervisors weren’t hesitant to both praise and correct me as needed, and where most of my tasks could be pretty accurately described as pass/fail). Also, in both of those settings, corrections were confined to the work product itself and not to areas like attitude, affect, or how others perceived me.”

8. “My biggest misconception (and one I still struggle with sometimes even though I’ve identified it) is that you really don’t have to be ‘yourself’ at work. Many times, being professional means doing something or acting in a way that I would have that I would have thought of as fake or disingenuous when I was in school. Figuring out that what’s really important is being professional (like being polite and maintaining a pleasant working relationship with a coworker that you absolutely, positively can’t freaking stand and want to strangle on a daily basis) was a crazy wake up call.

My internal mantra is ‘These people are not your friends, they are just your coworkers. It’s not being fake, it’s called being professional. You DO NOT have to like them. You just have to act like you don’t want to murder them.'”

9. “I wish I’d known that it was okay to ask questions and that no one cared how smart I appeared to be — they cared that I could do my dang job and think on my feet. This one is a HUGE holdover from grad school in the humanities, where if you have to ask, you’re too dumb to be there. I am now really embarrassed of how much time I wasted faffing about trying to quietly figure things out instead of letting on that I didn’t know something that was (in hindsight) completely reasonable not to know.

I still struggle with this daily and am always impressed when a smart, competent coworker asks for clarification or says ‘wait, I don’t understand X.’ I always have this moment of shock, like, ‘oh, right! you can DO that!'”

10. “Beware ‘venting’ with your coworkers. It feels like you’re blowing off steam and that it’s helping, but more often than not, you’re just stewing in your misery and it’s making you more miserable. It will change how you see things. A groupthink can start to take hold where nobody is willing to give management benefit of the doubt because the group’s default reaction to everything is mistrust and skepticism, and it starts to feel like you’d be violating a group norm or shunned by your coworkers if you expressed support or optimism about something. In complaining so much about the problems, you end up ensuring the problems don’t get resolved because negativity torpedoes all attempts at change.

Nobody perfectly avoids venting all the time, but try to keep the number of times you complain about something without proposing a solution to a minimum. If you look at your IM history with a coworker and it’s one gripe after another that neither of you have ever brought to management for resolution, you are only furthering your own unhappiness even if it feels cathartic in the moment.”

11. “One of the greatest pieces of advice I ran across on here was to figure out which *tasks* you like, and which you don’t. Rather than think in terms of believing that the work is important and noble. Jobs are made up of tasks, and if you love or hate detail work, or talking to people on the phone, or writing, then having a lot of it or almost none will be a big factor in how you feel at the end of the day.”

12. “I underestimated how important it is for my co-workers to announce whether they are feeling hot or cold at different points during the day. Rookie mistake.”

13. “For me, it took a long time to realize that my criticism of the boss was problematic and short sighted. I always secretly suspected I was sooooo much smarter than he or she, that I saw the obvious answers to all the tough problems, and that the boss’s laziness or stupidity is what kept them from acting. ‘If I were the boss, I could easily fix this by doing A, B or C…’ was always floating around in my head.

Now that I AM the boss? I recognize how many tough decisions there are every day where making everyone happy is utterly impossible … and how much planning and thoughtful work can backfire due to things like bad timing, losing an important staff member, shifts in federal and state budgets, the overall political climate or even just bad luck. What I also never considered: all problems I didn’t see, because my ‘awful’ boss addressed them before they even became problems. Many times the boss was doing solid work that I didn’t understand or see as valuable because I didn’t understand the implications – I only saw the small fraction of the work that did go wrong, and scoffed about their obvious incompetence. The sample size for my observations, as it were, was utterly skewed to only notice the mistakes. I have a lot more empathy and respect for my old bosses today than I did back then.”

14. “You’re going to have to take enough initiative to get the information and things you need. A lot of things won’t be spelled out for you – it’s on you to ask for clarification, find the information you need, etc. You might not get multiple reminders that something important is happening – you might just get a single notification and you need to pay attention to it and remind yourself.”

15. “One of my early career mistakes was that I let my job at the time (daycare) be a bigger part of my identity/life than it needed to be. One very stressful day I got into a little spat with a co-worker/close friend. I went outside, sat down, and started crying. Another co-worker saw me crying, sat down and put her arm around me, and told me, this is your job, not your life. She had come to this country from Belarus for a better life for her kids. She was making about minimum wage working an assistant teacher position here, when she was qualified to be a center director back home. She helped me put the situation in perspective. Of course, everything blew over and work/my friendship was back to normal in an hour. Now I approach work as a means to an end. Ideally, I enjoy it and find meaning in it. But at the end of the day, it’s just my job, not my life.”

the things you don’t know about work when you’re early in your career was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.