More than most Met Galas, the announcement that Rei Kawakubo would be honored this year was met with a bit of dread: the idea of celebrities showing up to fete the queen of avant-garde fashion wearing some basic-ass shit that could have come from a Bebe were the visions of hellfire dancing in our heads. Kawakubo and…
In today’s fast-paced world, many of us have trouble finding time to take a moment away from infernal chores or infernal screens just to go for a walk, read a book, or most indulgent of all, enjoy a catnap. As Quartz posits today in the article “The Psychological Importance Of Wasting Time”: “even if we do manage time away from the grind, it comes with a looming awareness of the things we should be doing, and so the experience is weighed down by guilt.”
Fortunately for us all, a new mindset states that downtime is actually good for us. Quartz quotes Alex Soojung-Kim Pan, author of REST: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less, who says that “luminaries including Charles Dickens, Gabriel García Márquez, and Charles Darwin had quite relaxed schedules, working for five hours a day or less.” If it worked for famously productive people, shouldn ...
You’ve probably seen king oyster mushrooms, also often called king trumpet mushrooms, before at your local asian grocery, but you might not know exactly what they’re good for. If you’re getting your grill out for spring, now is the perfect time to try out these under-appreciated mushrooms.
In an exclusive interview with Reuters ahead of his improbable hundredth day in office this Saturday, Donald Trump, a maniac with a Twitter account that still “runs” this country, said that there’s still a possibility of conflict with North Korea.
In case you needed a reminder that corporations don’t care about you, that #TheResistance is already being co-opted as a marketing scheme, and that Kendall Jenner cannot act, Pepsi has released a very bad commercial to jog your memory.
1) Large meats (huge roasts, turkeys, etc) 2) Entire feasts (thanksgiving, a multi-course vegan meal for 9, etc) and 3) Ceviche. Everybody loves ceviche and its impressive but easy and so delicious.
Hey there, and welcome back to to What’s Cooking?, the weekly open thread where you get to share your brilliant thoughts, advice, recipes, and opinions on all things edible. This week I want to talk about the meal you make when you want to impress and delight, and get your tips and tricks for making a big impact with…
A jury has stripped right-wing radio host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones of having primary custody of his children and awarded joint custody to his ex-wife.
The Austin American-Statesman reports that state District Judge Orlinda Naranjo also announced Kelly Jones will decide where their three...
Hm. I mean, its hard bc I think the internet has made food a lot more universal, but I'm sure I just am not remembering certain local faves. I guess I'd say Scrapple but I know a lot of people love scrapple.
This review originally appeared in the New Yorker and appears here with permission from the author’s estate. And be sure to cop the new Blu-ray edition of Tampopo from the Criterion Collection.
Chobani filed a lawsuit Monday against right-wing radio host Alex Jones, accusing the conspiracy theorist of publishing false information about the company.
"The Pope gave a TED talk" is a sentence you can say in 2017
Pope Francis made a surprise appearance at a TED talk conference on Tuesday, urging powerful leaders "to act humbly" and said he hoped technological innovation would not leave people behind. The 18-minute video was filmed in Vatican City and broadcast to the audience at the annual TED 2017 conference in Vancouver. "If you don't, your power will ruin you, and you will ruin the other." The comments echoed Francis' frequent themes to not ignore the plight of immigrants, the poor and other vulnerable people Speaking in Italian with subtitles, Francis urged solidarity to overcome a "culture of waste" that had affected not only food but people cast aside by economic systems that rely increasingly on automation.
I voted for Donald Trump because he promised to pursue a new foreign policy. As he said in December, “We will stop looking to topple regimes and overthrow governments. Our goal is stability, not chaos, because we want to rebuild our country.” He vowed to appoint those with “new approaches, and...
Scott Van Zyl made his living taking wealthy clients on "safaris" for the sole purpose of bringing home trophies like leopards, zebras, wildebeests and even lions. Now, investigators in Zimbabwe believe that Van Zyl ended up on the wrong end of the predator-prey relationship, and DNA tests have confirmed that he was attacked, killed, and eaten by crocodiles while on a hunting trip.
Van Zyl, who ran SS Pro Safaris, offered specials for hunters to spend a week or more on his hunting lands which border nature preserves, with the promise of killing up to seven different species for $9,000. He also offered other hunting expeditions with targets like elephants and giraffes, though specifics for those, including prices, aren't listed on the company's site. Photos of clients holding the bodies of several rare species are posted on Van Zyl's site, along with the motto "Stop whining, go hunting."
The circumstances surrounding his death are spotty, but reports suggest that Van Zyl and a second hunter and a pack of dogs. The two men split up, choosing to travel on foot alone, but when the dogs returned to the base camp without Van Zyl, his companion knew something was wrong.
His footprints were tracked to a riverbank where searchers found his backpack as well as several large Nile crocodiles. Authorities killed the crocs after getting clearance to do so and subsequently discovered human remains inside the stomach of one of them. Tests of the remains matched Van Zyl. The incident is just one of a handful of fatal crocodile attacks tallied so far in 2017 alone.
Athletes love to tell you that they’re playing with a chip on their shoulder, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone take that saying as seriously as Cowboys cornerback Anthony Brown. On Friday, Brown briefly posted a picture to Instagram of his latest tattoo, which is quite literally a potato chip, like a Ruffle, on his shoulder.
I understand what he’s trying to do here, I really do, but man this is not a good tattoo. The post is no longer on Instagram, probably because he was getting unceremoniously roasted by people on social media. Unfortunately, you can take a post down, but it — like that tattoo — will live forever because the internet has screenshots and never forgets. At least Brown had a good laugh about the whole thing on Twitter.
Sometimes you can be too clever and too woke for your own good, and this is a prime example of that. Also, Brown needs better friends around him, because a good friend would tell you that this was a poor decision and talk you out of it — or just clown you until you decided against it, either way. However, here we are in a world where someone is going to be playing NFL football with a potato chip tattoo. Welcome to 2017. Anyways, Twitter had plenty of fun with Brown’s unfortunate tattoo. Many of the questions had to do with why the tattoo artist didn’t try to talk him out of it.
Wait … so he said " put an actual lays chip on my shoulder " and the tattoo artist said " that's a fire idea !!" ?
First of all, worry not, because this post is not actually a list of 83 SEPARATE QUOTES from President Pussgrab J. Trump, as rendered to the Associated Press. That would take too many minutes to copy/paste! The point is that Trump has done an interview with the AP and it is so embarrassing throughout that we could literally pick any number, and then find Trump stepping on his own dick that many times in the interview. Also, we’re just making up numbers like a common Donald Trump.
Let’s start with …
Donald Trump has the hugest ratings, he is the greatest TV sensation since noted reality show ‘9/11’
That’s right, Donald Trump thought it would be totally normal and OK, while patting himself on the ass for being so good for TV ratings, to say literally only 9/11 is better TV than himself:
TRUMP: … [I]t’s interesting, I have, seem to get very high ratings. I definitely. You know Chris Wallace had 9.2 million people, it’s the highest in the history of the show. I have all the ratings for all those morning shows. When I go, they go double, triple. Chris Wallace, look back during the Army-Navy football game, I did his show that morning.
AP: I remember, right.
TRUMP: It had 9.2 million people. It’s the highest they’ve ever had. On any, on air, (CBS “Face the Nation” host John) Dickerson had 5.2 million people. It’s the highest for “Face the Nation” or as I call it, “Deface the Nation.” It’s the highest for “Deface the Nation” since the World Trade Center. Since the World Trade Center came down. It’s a tremendous advantage.
We really could end this post right here, because what the fuck (and also Trump lied and said he’d tripled the show’s actual ratings, which isn’t even the point since he always does that). The president of the United States is having a pissing contest with 9/11.
But we, yr Wonkette, are at your service, so we’ll at least skim this thing a little bit more before we say screw it.
Donald Trump is the best expert of deciding not to insult the Chinese president when he wants something from the Chinese president.
TRUMP: … [T]hings change. There has to be flexibility. Let me give you an example. President Xi, we have a, like, a really great relationship. For me to call him a currency manipulator and then say, “By the way, I’d like you to solve the North Korean problem,” doesn’t work. So you have to have a certain flexibility, Number One. Number Two, from the time I took office till now, you know, it’s a very exact thing. It’s not like generalities. Do you want a Coke or anything?
AP: I’m OK, thank you. No. …
TRUMP: But President Xi, from the time I took office, he has not, they have not been currency manipulators. Because there’s a certain respect because he knew I would do something or whatever. But more importantly than him not being a currency manipulator the bigger picture, bigger than even currency manipulation, if he’s helping us with North Korea, with nuclear and all of the things that go along with it, who would call, what am I going to do, say, “By the way, would you help us with North Korea? And also, you’re a currency manipulator.” It doesn’t work that way.
Everything changed the second Glorious Leader Trump was president. Got it. At least he offered the AP dude a Coke.
The part about how Donald Trump learned that, like, missiles, like, kill people.
WHOA. IF. TRUE:
TRUMP: Number One, there’s great responsibility. When it came time to, as an example, send out the 59 missiles, the Tomahawks in Syria. I’m saying to myself, “You know, this is more than just like, 79 (sic) missiles. This is death that’s involved,” because people could have been killed. This is risk that’s involved, because if the missile goes off and goes in a city or goes in a civilian area — you know, the boats were hundreds of miles away — and if this missile goes off and lands in the middle of a town or a hamlet …. every decision is much harder than you’d normally make. (unintelligible) … This is involving death and life and so many things. … So it’s far more responsibility.
Being president is, like, big league, also too, and, like, the United States is really yooge.
This is what happens when you elect a shitty tycoon to lead the world’s sole superpower:
TRUMP: The financial cost of everything is so massive, every agency. This is thousands of times bigger, the United States, than the biggest company in the world. The second-largest company in the world is the Defense Department. The third-largest company in the world is Social Security. The fourth-largest — you know, you go down the list.
AP: Right.
TRUMP. It’s massive. And every agency is, like, bigger than any company. So you know, I really just see the bigness of it all, but also the responsibility. And the human responsibility. You know, the human life that’s involved in some of the decisions.
SADFACE. The press is still mean to him.
WHINE:
TRUMP: I used to get great press. I get the worst press. I get such dishonest reporting with the media. That’s another thing that really has — I’ve never had anything like it before. It happened during the primaries, and I said, you know, when I won, I said, “Well the one thing good is now I’ll get good press.” And it got worse. (unintelligible) So that was one thing that a little bit of a surprise to me. I thought the press would become better, and it actually, in my opinion, got more nasty.
MORE SADFACE. The Fake News sucks! Except Fox News, which is the most “accurate.”
TRUMP: I have learned one thing, because I get treated very unfairly, that’s what I call it, the fake media. And the fake media is not all of the media. You know they tried to say that the fake media was all the, no. The fake media is some of you. I could tell you who it is, 100 percent. Sometimes you’re fake, but — but the fake media is some of the media. It bears no relationship to the truth. It’s not that Fox treats me well, it’s that Fox is the most accurate.
Donald Trump’s border wall is going to be less expensive than everybody says, but it doesn’t matter, because it’s going to stop one percent of the drugs from coming in, and also all the drugs.
And why won’t drugs get across the wall? Because it will be a real wall, as opposed to a fake wall:
TRUMP: If we stop 1 percent of the drugs from coming in — and we’ll stop all of it. But if we stop 1 percent of the drugs because we have the wall — they’re coming around in certain areas, but if you have a wall, they can’t do it because it’s a real wall. That’s a tremendously good investment, 1 percent. The drugs pouring through on the southern border are unbelievable. We’re becoming a drug culture, there’s so much. And most of it’s coming from the southern border. The wall will stop the drugs.
Donald Trump doesn’t support Wicky-Licks anymore, but he doesn’t UNSUPPORT them either, but he likes reading their Good Information, which never should have come out in the first place.
TRUMP: When Wikileaks came out … never heard of Wikileaks, never heard of it. When Wikileaks came out, all I was just saying is, “Well, look at all this information here, this is pretty good stuff.” You know, they tried to hack the Republican, the RNC, but we had good defenses. They didn’t have defenses, which is pretty bad management. But we had good defenses, they tried to hack both of them. They weren’t able to get through to Republicans. No, I found it very interesting when I read this stuff and I said, “Wow.” It was just a figure of speech. I said, “Well, look at this. It’s good reading.”
AP: But that didn’t mean that you supported what Assange is doing?
TRUMP: No, I don’t support or unsupport. It was just information. They shouldn’t have allowed it to get out.
And finally, here is some word salad about “Morning Joe.”
TRUMP: I never thought I had the ability to not watch. Like, people think I watch (MSNBC’s) “Morning Joe.” I don’t watch “Morning Joe.” I never thought I had the ability to, and who used to treat me great by the way, when I played the game. I never thought I had the ability to not watch what is unpleasant, if it’s about me. Or pleasant. But when I see it’s such false reporting and such bad reporting and false reporting that I’ve developed an ability that I never thought I had. I don’t watch things that are unpleasant. I just don’t watch them.
Trump seems to believe he has grown as a person, because he no longer watches TV that is mean to him. He’s so presidential now!
That’s enough embarrassing moments, don’t you think?
Uh yeah, but there are SO MANY MORE IN THE INTERVIEW. So if you can stomach it, head on over to the AP’s website. If you can’t stomach it, stay here at Wonkette where it is warm and nice and we make dick jokes.
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I've seen this before but it is worth watching again
If you’re like me from three minutes ago and you’ve never seen this video but want to laugh really hard, push play on this little number. You can safely skip ahead to about 0:33…that’s when the action starts.
P.S. Yo Kenji! Why does the gnocchi do that?! (via @essl)
Update: I have not gotten an answer from Kenji yet (to be fair, he just became a father), but the consensus on Twitter is gnocchi and popcorn share some similarities. I will let John Vermylen, who is a Stanford PhD and also runs the pasta company Zerega, explain:
Hydrated starch on gnocchi exterior gelatinizes with temp, forming impervious barrier. Temp builds up inside. Water tries to boil as temp rises, but can’t turn to steam due to barrier. So pressure builds up, which pushes against wall of gnocchi. Eventually high pressure forces crack in that wall, which leads to pressure drop and instant flash off of high temp water to steam.
There’s an opportunity here to make crispy popcorn gnocchi…which brave chef will take up the challenge?
North Korea on Sunday threatened to sink an American aircraft carrier that is beginning joint drills with two Japanese destroyers in the western Pacific Ocean.
Scene: You are on a plane from Tampa to Los Angeles. You have successfully tamped down your air travel-induced anxiety with a Diet Coke and a two-pack of Biscoffs. Things are okay.
Michael Reagan speaks at a rally for Republican Senate candidate Sharron Angle in 2010. Michael Reagan, son of late President Ronald Reagan, defended disgraced Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, who was ousted this week after advertisers boycotted the show en masse amid a sexual harassment scandal. The firestorm started after the New York Times revealed that O’Reilly and the network had shelled out $13 million in settlements to various women who had accused him of sexual harassment.
A food company is recalling frozen hash browns from stores in nine states because the potatoes may have pieces of golf balls in them.
McCain Foods USA's recall notice said the golf balls apparently were "inadvertently harvested" along with the potatoes and chopped up. They say the pieces could...
The rise of Donald Trump has inspired the writers and editors of Teen Vogue to elevate their publication beyond the usual realm of fashion tips and teen heartthrobs, treating their readers like the thoughtful, engaged, capable young citizens that they are. And, naturally, the Christian right has a problem with that. So Focus on the Family, the Colorado-based evangelical organization that opposes anti-bullying programs for fear they might “promote homosexuality,” is re-launching its own magazine for teenage girls free of such corrupting worldly influences as political coverage and acknowledging the fact that teenagers are overflowing with hormones.
That magazine is called Brio, and it originally ran from 1990 to 2009, sort of like Sassy in a shapeless ankle-length denim skirt. The magazine covered topics like makeup, clothes, and manicures—you know, appropriate pastimes for a young girl hoping to attract a husband to whom she would eternally submit as a ...
Pope Francis made a surprise appearance at a TED talk conference on Tuesday, urging powerful leaders "to act humbly" and said he hoped technological innovation would not leave people behind. The 18-minute video was filmed in Vatican City and broadcast to the audience at the annual TED 2017 conference in Vancouver. "If you don't, your power will ruin you, and you will ruin the other." The comments echoed Francis' frequent themes to not ignore the plight of immigrants, the poor and other vulnerable people Speaking in Italian with subtitles, Francis urged solidarity to overcome a "culture of waste" that had affected not only food but people cast aside by economic systems that rely increasingly on automation.
Sunday is "Adopt a Shelter Pet Day" (aka the greatest day of the year). [ more › ]
the internet has no chill.
(@Dezcepticon_) April 21, 2017
