IKEA Monkey

Ever since the police officer who shot Philando Castile was found not guilty — and indeed since Philando Castile was shot — the world at large has been waiting for the NRA to make a statement. Given their dedication to standing up for concealed carry rights, and what have you.

But rather than bothering to comment on that, they have instead released a very charming new ad, in which the ever-charming Dana Loesch details the incredible threat liberals like us pose to Real America, and implicitly suggest that the only way to stop us from destroying the country with our schools and entertainment and PROTEST MARCHES is to take up arms against us.

Here’s the transcript, in case you just can’t bring yourself to make it through the whole thing (or any of it):

They use their media to assassinate real news. They use their schools to teach children that their president is another Hitler. They use their movie stars and singers and comedy shows and award shows to repeat their narrative over and over again. And then they use their ex-president to endorse “the resistance.”

ALL TO MAKE THEM MARCH. Make them protest. Make them scream racism and sexism and xenophobia and homophobia. To smash windows, burn cars, shut down interstates and airports, bully and terrorize the law abiding. Until the only option left is for the police to do their jobs and STOP THE MADNESS. And when that happens, they’ll use it as an excuse for their outrage. The only way we stop this, the only way we save our country and our freedom, is to fight this violence of lies with the clenched fist of truth. I’m the National Rifle Association of America, and I’m freedom’s safest place.”

As ridiculous as this is, it’s also scary as hell. Because, you know, holy crap these people literally want to kill us. They’re trying to create some kind of otherworldly scenario in which we are an actual violent threat to them. That our ONLY purpose is to, uh, protest things for literally no reason, and march and smash windows and “terrorize the law abiding.” That we somehow force nice police officers to murder black people (like Philando Castile!) in order to have “an excuse” to be mean to them and protest more.

Which is all kinds of ass-backwards.

Do protesters sometimes get out of hand? Sure! But like, suggesting that the entire Left is a serious violent threat to the Right because of every so often a window gets broken? Well, it would be like us insisting that they were all Timothy McVeigh. Or Eric Rudolph. Or Dylan Roof. Or a heck of a lot of other people I could name.

As a rational person, I assume that no, not all conservatives want to bomb buildings or shoot up black churches. However, the NRA seems dead set on pushing them to do so.

Of course, this way of thinking is totally in line with the worldview of NRA head honcho Wayne LaPierre, who has previously declared the media, academia and the arts to be the true enemies of America.

“It’s up to us to speak out against the three most dangerous voices in America: academic elites, political elites and media elites. These are America’s greatest domestic threats.”

So get a gun! And go after us, the GREATEST DOMESTIC THREATS.

Why are they like this? Is it racism? Yes, it is racism. Is it xenophobia? Yes, it is xenophobia. It’s all of the things. It’s also just straight up insecurity about losing their place in America’s social hierarchy, despite the fact that they see that hierarchy as a social good.

It is also possible that they are just real mad that they are not talented enough to be singers or movie stars or perform in comedy shows. I am, in fact, quite convinced that this is a part of it. As if it is somehow our fault that they were unable to pick themselves up by their tap shoe straps, or that they failed their American Idol auditions.

It’s also not our fault that teachers tend to be liberal. After all, conservatives are the ones that believe that Liberal Arts education is useless and possibly evil — but what the hell else are you going to teach seven-year-olds? They are learning phonics, not business management and gun repair. And, for the record, I am pretty certain that there are not “Donald Trump Is Literally Hitler” classes in elementary school. That’s not a thing. But the NRA would very much like you to think that it is.

Basically, the whole point of this ad is to create some scary dystopian world (though not scarier than our actual scary dystopian world) in which nice, law-abiding, talent-free Republicans are being violently attacked in every possible way by cruel Liberals who uh, don’t like Donald Trump and think people other than just Heterosexual White Christian Men should have rights and stuff. We are attacking their very way of life, and that way of life is that they get to be better than everyone else, and we are supposed to shut up about it and just let it be. Under threat of gunfire.

Why are they doing this? Is it because it’s what they truly believe? Maybe. But I’ve got a feeling it’s more so that the people they are targeting buy guns and join the NRA, and pay NRA membership fees, so that the NRA will protect them from our comedy shows or whatever.

It’s like Jim Bakker trying to sell his survivalist food buckets. “OH MAN, THE WORLD IS GONNA END SOON, BETTER BUY MY BUCKETS!” More money for Jim Bakker, more money for the NRA. Follow the money, always and forever.

[NRA]

The end is nigh! Give us money! Click below to do that!

Orca whales have claimed the life of another great white shark by eating its liver and leaving it for dead, making it the fourth such gristly death in less than two months. During a four-day period in early May, researchers reported finding the bodies of three great white sharks (Carcharodon carcharias) that had washed ashore along South Africa's Western Cape province. Now, a fourth dead, liverless shark has washed ashore, according to a post today (June 26) on the Marine Dynamics blog, a site hosted by a shark cage diving company.

A Florida Republican who earlier campaigned against the Affordable Care Act came to a new view of it after he lost his insurance coverage.

Let's just cut to the feeling and admit we are screaming with delight at this sweet surprise coming our way over the horizon. [ more › ]

At the 2017 BET Awards, artist and activist Chance the Rapper delivered powerful words against injustice and vowed to be a better man while accepting the Humanitarian Award.

Sink|Swim never quite worked. [ more › ]

Defenders of the Senate Obamacare repeal bill are trying to rule arguments against it out of order. Don't let them.

Sperm whales sleep together in a pod facing up in the water. From bioGraphic:

Photographer Franco Banfi and his fellow divers were following this pod of sperm whales (Physeter macrocephalus) when the giants suddenly seemed to fall into a vertical slumber. This phenomenon was first studied in 2008, when a team of biologists from the UK and Japan inadvertently drifted into a group of non-responsive sperm whales floating just below the surface. Baffled by the behavior, the scientists analyzed data from tagged whales and discovered that these massive marine mammals spend about 7 percent of their time taking short (6- to 24-minute) rests in this shallow vertical position. Scientists think these brief naps may, in fact, be the only time the whales sleep.

Photo by Franco Banfi, a finalist in the 2017 Big Picture Competition.

Tags: Franco Banfi   photography   whales

The midcentury modern home is located in Morristown, New Jersey, just 25 miles west of New York City

Have a nomination for a jaw-dropping listing that would make a mighty fine House of the Day? Get thee to the tipline and send us your suggestions. We'd love to see what you've got.

Location: Morristown, New Jersey

Price: $545,000

This midcentury modern home was built in 1953 and has been elegantly updated since then while keeping many period details in tact. Located in Morristown, New Jersey, in an enclave of midcentury homes just 25 miles west of New York City, the bungalow features a simple post-and-beam construction, plenty of light, and an open-plan layout characteristic of the era.

The residence is distinguished by a gently sloping pitched roof whose oversized roof overhang might have originally functioned as a carport. Entry to the house is gained by way of a striking, nearly entirely glazed wall that opens onto the large front yard.

Inside, a vaulted and beamed ceiling painted white creates an airy living room and dining area divided by a partial white brick wall with an opening where a double-faced fireplace might have been (and could easily be installed). A new, efficient kitchen occupies a bright corner, and the three bedrooms, all spacious, windowed, with one currently being used as an office, plus two new full bathrooms round out the property.

Though no square footage is given, an old listing gives 1,300 square feet as the area. The current listing comes with a newly constructed detached two-car garage, new flooring, and a generator, and the lot itself measures a half acre. Located at 8 (10) Erskine Drive, it’s offered at $545,000.

Musk’s company suggests linking Chicago’s Loop and international airport via 125 mph underground “sleds”

The long-discussed plan to link O’Hare International Airport and downtown Chicago via high-speed rail has found a surprising West Coast ally—billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk. Though he is known for companies such as PayPal, Tesla, and SpaceX, Mr. Musk’s newest pet project—a venture known as the Boring Company—has city officials most intrigued. While previously discussed schemes to connect O’Hare to the Loop would see express trains share congested right-of-ways with slower Metra or CTA traffic, the Boring Company is offering the far more ambitious solution of digging a dedicated tunnel.

Founded just last year, Musk’s firm claims it can dramatically reduce construction costs by using more affordable equipment and drilling more narrow—and therefore cheaper—shafts. Instead of utilizing standard-sized trains, the innovative solution would deploy a higher number of much smaller passenger cars that would ride on electromagnetic “sleds” at speeds of up to 125 mph. Chicago Deputy Mayor Steve Koch even flew out to LA last week for a face-to-face with Musk regarding the still experimental technology and returned “impressed,” reported Greg Hinz of Crain’s.

City Hall’s desire for a high-speed link between Chicago’s downtown and its international airport is hardly new. Former Mayor Richard M. Daley first envisioned such an express service to ORD back in the early 1990s. Mayor Emanuel then resurrected the idea back in 2011 and just last year tapped an engineering firm to explore potential solutions. With Elon Musk’s reported interest, the answer looks exciting—albeit risky and technologically unproven.

The City of Chicago plans to formally seek bidders for the O'Hare link later this year. Even with Musk’s fresh approach to low-cost tunneling, the project is still expected to cost billions and would require major support from private investors.

• Tesla's Elon Musk eyes O'Hare-Loop fast-rail link [Crain’s]
• Chicago exploring high-speed O'Hare to downtown rail project [Curbed Chicago]
• Elon Musk posts new videos of his underground tunnel project for LA [Curbed LA]

"I'm not a retail expert, but I'm thinking that maybe introducing this walking acid flashback to the stores is not the way to improve the shopping experience." [ more › ]

"The indictment makes clear that these defendants did more than merely obey an unofficial 'code of silence,' rather it alleges that they lied about what occurred to prevent independent criminal investigators from learning the truth." [ more › ]

This story is republished with permission from the Conversation.

Rebecca Burger, a French Instagram model, died earlier this month after being struck by an exploding whipped cream container.

A celebrity story is usually far more interesting when the person telling the story doesn’t give a shit about offending the celebs in question (or talking to them ever again). This story told by Ninja, one half of the Die Antwoord musical group, is clearly in that category. In it, he recounts hanging out at Kanye’s house, eating Kim Kardashian’s delicious banana pudding (not even a euphemism), and then wandering over to Drake’s house (with whom Ninja has a history) to play some basketball. One of the things I liked about this story is that it could have stopped in three or four different places and been a complete & entertaining story, but it just kept going.

Tags: basketball   celebrity   Die Antwoord   Drake   Kanye West   Kim Kardashian   sports   video

From under $150

Editor's Note: This post was originally published in June 2016 and has been updated with the most recent information.

Though easy on the eyes and wallet, Ikea’s popular Malm dressers and chests have unfortunately also caused a number of injuries and deaths over the years, as they easily tip over if not anchored to the wall. In June 2016, the Swedish retailer issued an unprecedented recall of 29 million Malm dressers and chests in the U.S. and pulled the three-, four-, and six-drawer Malm models from its website. And now, Ikea has put out the recall for a second time, after an eighth child was killed under a fallen Malm dresser earlier this year.

The full Malm dresser range—from the two-drawer to the six-drawer—are still online, but each product now comes with hardware to help customers heed Ikea’s warning that the furniture “must be permanently fixed to the wall.”

If you’re in the market for a relatively affordable, modern dresser, and want to look beyond Ikea, there are options. Check out these sleek alternatives, all coming in under $500. If dirt-cheap is what you’re going after, Ikea currently offers the more compact, Malm-like Kullen chests in two-drawer ($29.99), three-drawer ($39.99), and six-drawer ($79) versions.

No matter what you choose, remember that there are currently only voluntary stability standards in the industry, so caution around upright furniture is advisable and affixing pieces to the wall is a good safety measure—especially if children will be involved.

CB2

Hayneedle

2Modern

AllModern

Walmart

Wayfair

Overstock

Talk to any contractor or carpenter — or most people who are reasonably familiar with home construction and repair — and they’ll tell you that a “4×4” piece of lumber is not actually four inches by four inches, and that it hasn’t been that way in any of our lifetimes. Yet some Home Depot and Menards customers are — literally — making a federal case out of this discrepancy, accusing the retailers of false advertising.

In two separate federal class-action lawsuits filed by the same attorney, shoppers accuse these two chains of selling “lumber products that were falsely advertised and labeled as having product dimensions that were not the actual dimensions of the products sold.”

The plaintiffs in the Menards complaint [PDF] are two customers who each purchased lumber at Menards stores in Illinois. One man purchased some “1×6” cedar planking and a piece of “4×4″ Douglas fir lumber, only to eventually find that these products’ real dimensions were .66″ x 5.25″ and 3.5″ x 3.5”, respectively. The second plaintiff claims to have been similarly “deceived and/or misled” about the true dimensions of a 4×4 post.

Those pesky 4x4s are also at the center of the Home Depot lawsuit [PDF], whose lead plaintiff says he relied on Home Depot’s advertising when purchasing this lumber.

While both lawsuits claim that the plaintiffs have been damaged by this alleged deception, neither complaint specifies what that damage may have been, other than getting slightly less wood than they expected. For instance, there is no mention of the plaintiffs being unable to finish a home renovation or of the purchased lumber being inadequate or of lower quality.

The lawsuits even acknowledge that lumber industry standards dictate that a nominal lumber dimensions are — and have been for nearly a century — slightly larger than the actual dimensions.

The plaintiffs do point out inconsistencies in the way the retailers advertise and market lumber. The Home Depot complaint notes that the retailer’s website includes actual, correct dimensions on some products, but not on others. Additionally, the lawsuits contend that retailers sell some “rough” cut wood products that are the full advertised dimensions.

In a memo in support of its motion to dismiss [PDF], the retailer argues that the plaintiffs “received exactly what they were supposed to receive – lumber that complies with applicable standards – and thus have not suffered an injury-in-fact.”

Interestingly, while Menards uses the Commerce Department’s National Institute of Standards and Technology minimum standards for dimensional lumber, going so far as to include the entire NIST 306-page handbook as an exhibit in the case, the retailer doesn’t mention where that NIST says it’s okay to just use nominal dimensions “if the… actual dimensions are prominently displayed to the customer, and the term ‘nominal’ or ‘nom’ is used in conjunction with any representation of nominal dimensions.”

At the same time, NIST’s Lumber Standard also states that “No inferences shall be drawn that the ‘nominal” sizes are dressed sizes.” So it’s not immediately clear if there is any legal obligation for hardware stores to communicate the actual size of lumber.

Even if the plaintiffs are able to argue that this information should have been more explicitly spelled out at the stores, they may have trouble making the case that they, or anyone else, suffered any real damage as a result.

The stores take issue with the claims of any real damage done by the use of the nominal measurements. As mentioned above, neither complaint alleges that the plaintiffs were unable to use the lumber they purchased.

“Plaintiffs’ claims are based entirely on the thickness and width of the product,” notes the Menards memorandum. “[R]egardless of what the shelf tags and product labels purportedly said or did not say, the undeniable fact remains that Plaintiffs received exactly what they were supposed to receive.”

In its memorandum supporting the motion to dismiss [PDF], Home Depot mocks the plaintiff’s notion that he would have paid less if he knew he wasn’t getting a true 4″ x 4″ piece of lumber.

“Plaintiff has not plead that retailers sell dimensional lumber measuring exactly 4 inches by 4 inches or what such product would cost,” notes Home Depot. The company admits that yes, you can buy a true 4″ x 4″ piece of wood from the same brand as the one mentioned in the lawsuit, but it’s rough sawn, and not intended to be used in the same way that a dressed piece of lumber is utilized.

Home Depot argues that if you want a dressed piece of lumber that is actually 4″ x 4″, that lumber’s nominal dimension would actually be 4.5″ x 4.5″ but “No such size or product exists.”

“Because Plaintiff could not have purchased the hypothetical product he seeks, much less at a lower price, he has no actionable injury,” argues Home Depot.

In fact, that rough-sawn post that measures a true 4″ x 4″ costs about $35 more than the “4×4” piece of wood he picked up at Home Depot.

One architect we spoke to about this case admitted that a number of homeowners or first-time DIYers are not actually familiar with the actual dimensions of lumber, but ultimately that shouldn’t matter in most cases.

“Say you’re putting in a new door or window in your house. Unless your house is really old or was built by someone using non-standard materials, the ‘2×4’ you buy at Home Depot should match what’s already in your walls,” explains the architect. “Same if you’re building a deck or some other project from a set of proper plans. Those drawings are done with the expectation that you’ll use standard-size lumber, regardless of whether you know a ‘2×4’ is actually 1.5 inches by 3.5 inches.”

[h/t to JSonline]

A black off-duty police officer has been shot by a white colleague who “feared for his safety” in the US. The St Louis Metropolitan Police Department described the shooting as a “friendly fire incident” but the injured officer’s lawyer said he had been “automatically feared” as a black man. Acting police commissioner Lawrence O’Toole said officers were pursuing a stolen car when three suspects inside opened fire on Wednesday night.