IKEA Monkey

GAS–a relatively benign bacteria–went rogue in the 1980s, ultimately evolving into a human killer. It now causes up to 500,000 deaths a year, with victims reporting symptoms ranging from a sore throat to the flesh-eating disease necrotizing fasciitis. Scientists are studying GAS in an attempt to find out how and why certain bacterias evolve from harmless to deadly.

VIEW SLIDESHOW: Staff Picks: What's the Most Underrated Restaurant in Chicago?

We may publish content about Chicago restaurants nearly every weekday of the year, but there are still restaurants that, for whatever reason, don't get the attention they deserve. They serve great food in a welcoming environment at reasonable prices, making them far more appealing than half the new splashy River North openings. But you know what? Maybe that's okay. Many of our picks are neighborhood joints with no need of excessive attention. They are just going to continue doing their thing, and we're happy to celebrate them for doing so.

Because it's hard to quite pin down what makes a place underrated, these picks are highly personal. And if you can think of any other spots, definitely let us know. But there were the places that popped into our head first.

Check them all out by clicking on the slideshow.

• La Lagartija Taqueria
• Shokran
• Flour & Stone
• The Rocking Horse
• Joong Boo Market
• Mr. D's
• Athenian Room
• MAK (Modern Asian Kitchen) on Division
• Gaudi Cafe

Do you like peas? Soon, you might be gobbling them daily without even realizing it. Manufacturers are adding powdered pea protein to a surprising variety of foods. Crackers? Pasta? Chicken nuggets? They’ve all been made with powdered pulses: legumes like peas, lentils, and chickpeas. You might start seeing pulse powders in even more baked goods in coming years.

One pulse-infused product has already hit mainstream store shelves: some varieties of
Triscuit’s new rice-based crackers use red beans to increase the snacks’ protein and fiber, and to polish its health halo a little bit. Most Americans are at least a little health-conscious, but not so conscious that we’re going to do anything crazy like not eat Triscuits.

Or pasta. Americans just can’t eat enough protein, but if we can get it in the form of chickpea-infused spaghetti, that’s what we’re going to do. Barilla has put these on mainstream store shelves, too: the Barilla Plus line contains a blend of pulse flours meant to add more protein.

The powders can make a logical substitute for wheat flour and even eggs in food products. General Mills is using yellow pea protein in a variety of Larabar, and the

The biggest issue in using these products is texture and freshness. Using pulses reduces the shelf life on some products, and also can make them, well, kind of dry.

You Will Eat Your Peas Now as Big Food Binges on Protein [Bloomberg News]

As if romance wasn't already challenging enough, a whole new deceit has been added to the modern day dating mix. Hapless straight male users of sites like Tinder and OKCupid can enlist the help of Personal Dating Assistants, an online service that assigns users a dating "consultant" who, rather than actually consult, will write your entire dating profile for you and exchange messages with potential matches.

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PHILADELPHIA—In the midst of his frantic attempt to conceal a corpse early Wednesday morning, a panicked Marc Summers came to the realization that police officers would immediately think to look for the mangled body in the huge pile of mashed potato...

With 2014 FIFA World Cup action just a few months away and the United States men poised to win every single match en route to the most dominant and awesome team performance in soccer history – you heard it here first – it was about darn time that the folks at the Intergalactic Soccer Commission, or whatever it’s called, released the event’s new logo. Sure enough, they did and for one brief moment, it was a vision of team spirit, global unity and competitive-but-friendly rivalries. Because within minutes of its release, everyone else on Earth realized that it looked like a facepalm.

Obviously, the facepalm is a fitting symbol for the 2014 World Cup, because it seems like every aspect of it has been a complete and miserable failure, at least from the organizational perspective. The problem with that is, though, that because people have died during the construction of shitty stadiums, it’s really not that funny. However, as long as people don’t bring that up, we can all still make the same exact jokes, just as Al Gore envisioned when he created the Internet.

Perhaps the best joke that has been made of the logo thus far comes from Parthiban Letchumanan, who created this delightful infographic to let us know how the logo was developed.

I don’t even know what most of that means, but it still makes me laugh. As for everyone else, it seems that most people are just content with stating the obvious, and even just lifting Gizmodo’s image like it ain’t know thang. But hey, at least this logo is creating some sort of unity. That counts, right?

And so many, many more! Collect them all!

Filed under: Sports Tagged: 2014 FIFA World Cup, facepalm, FACEPALMS, LOGOS, WORLD CUP

See the two young gentlemen in the picture above? Well they’re our new great American heroes.

Tyler Richards and Jonathan Thompson, high school students and ketchup enthusiasts, have come up with an ingenious new invention that keeps the first squirt from a ketchup bottle from being a watery mess.

During a year-long research project about their favorite condiment, the two seventeen-year-olds conceptualized and designed a bottle insert that could change condiment application forever. But does it work for catsup?

[link, via 22 Words]

If I learned anything from spying on my brothers playing Dungeons & Dragons in the basement with their friends, it’s that Mountain Dew is often the preferred fuel of choice for staying awake and making sharp decisions. That being said, a Florida elementary school was getting a heck of a lot of criticism for giving kids a dose of the stuff before taking high-pressure tests.

A grandmother of a child at the school complained to local media about the practice, where the school served students trail mix and about three tablespoons of Mountain Dew before administering the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test each day, reports Florida Today.

That complaint caught the attention of the school district and has raised concerns among parents, among them, the risk of kids crashing from their sugar highs in the middle of the test. It’s also an interesting practice considering state law prevents schools from selling soda.

“Once that was brought to our attention, we eliminated that practice,” a spokesman for the public schools said, adding that they’ve advised the school to only provide water to drink.

The practice goes back 10 years, when the school principal read about it in an education journal.

“She felt that it was a professional practice and implemented it,” the spokeswoman explained. “Since then, there’s been new information (about what’s best for students).”

The principal still seems to think it was a fine idea, as the amount of Mountain Dew administered wasn’t very much, and was part of an overall program of encouraging kids to get ready for the FCAT withh a good night’s sleep and a healthy breakfast.

“We don’t think we were giving them enough to really get into” negative impacts of sugar highs and lows, she said. “We’ve done it for years. The kids look forward to the treats.”

That being said, if parents or others are worried, she can respect those concerns, she added.

Meanwhile, some enterprising fourth grader is probably setting up a black market trade in Mountain Dew.

*Thanks for the tip, Kelly!

School stops serving Mountain Dew before FCAT after complaints [Florida Today]

WASHINGTON—A report released Wednesday by the United Nations revealed that the U.S. continues to lead the world with the highest per capita density of Kevins of any nation.

We’ve all been there: you’re out of cash for some reason, and have to raid your change jar for spending money. While it can be difficult to find a place to trade that money in fee-free, we do not recommend the method that a woman in Florida used.

She tried to get a convenience store clerk to trade her coin jar for cash. Well, it doesn’t hurt to ask, does it? Her request wasn’t all that reasonable, and neither was her next move, knocking items over inside the store. As her brawl with the store owner moved outside, the owner claims that the woman spewed ethnic slurs and death threats at him.

Then she threw a punch. Instead of hitting the store owner, the punch handed on a seven-year-old girl who was sitting outside at a picnic table. She has a bruise on her face, and is also experiencing nightmares.

This whole mess could have been avoided if she were willing to use a Coinstar machine and get a fee-free Amazon gift certificate or something. Maybe that could be a new advertising slogan. “Coinstar: preventing children from getting punched in the face by people in a coin-induced rage.” Not very catchy.

Angry customer trashes store, throws punch [News 13]

Robert Semrad, Jr. was charged with running up a $949.15 bar tab at Tavern on Rush Tuesday afternoon and behaving in an intoxicated and “obscene” manner. [ more › ]

The chances that you’ve seen the above image of a gigantic freaking shark in the back of a Florida pickup truck recently are pretty high, as it was shared by roughly 12 gazillion people on Facebook this week. The man behind this incredible and real catch of an 805-pound mako shark is 29-year old Floridian Joey Polk, who was out with his family for some good, old-fashioned land-based shark fishing fun earlier this month, when he just so happened to snag a brand new International Land-Based Shark Fishing Association record. Interestingly enough, the previous record-holder was Joey’s cousin, Earnie Polk, who was with him on this fateful voyage.

Alas, not all is well in the land of ILSFA record-holders. While Joey told the New York Daily News and other outlets that he does indeed have the new record for his 11-foot trophy, it appears that what he did after he caught and recorded footage of the shark may have negated his second and latest shark-fishing record. According to the ILSFA’s rules (via the Palm Beach New Times), you can’t claim a record if you don’t release the shark back into the wild. The Polks, it turns out, took this shark home, chopped it up and ate the hell out of it. Unfortunately, that’s a no-no.

As of January 1st of 2012, the ILSFA will no longer promote or accept record applications for sharks not released. With that said, our respect and support for angler’s rights including decisions to legally possess fish remains.

Prior to and since launching in 2006, the ILSFA and its founders have maintained a high regard and respect for angler’s rights worldwide. These rights include an individual’s decision to legally keep or release fish. For more than a decade now, practitioners of this sport in the United States and abroad have taken a lead role in promoting sustainable practices including catch-and-release. They have also taken proactive steps to collaborate with the scientific community in efforts to better understand the many species of sharks that inhabit the ocean’s nearshore waters. These are the core factors that inspired the launch of this organization.

While the ILSFA maintains certified world records for sharks kept by anglers, they represent a fractional portion of all submissions; a fact stated solely for fact’s sake. In early 2011 this was, however, taken into careful consideration, along with a refocus on what sets the ILSFA apart from all other world-record keeping organizations. It was the first, and remains the only organization, founded on an accepted method to officially reward anglers for their efforts by certifying world records for sharks they release back to the wild. (Via the ILSFA)

Now, we could sit here all day and debate this nonsense, but do you guys want to sit here and talk about land-based shark fishing rules? Or do you want to watch the Polk fellas wrangle themselves an 805-pound shark? I thought so. Congrats on your record, Joey.

Filed under: Sports Tagged: BIG ASS SHARKS, FISHING, FLORIDA, local news, records, SHARKS, WORLD RECORDS

It has critics howling and proponents applauding. The wide-ranging law allows concealed guns in some bars, churches, school zones, government buildings and certain parts of airports.

As demanded by the sacred rites and rituals involving the blood of Uprights Citizens Brigade hopefuls that sustain Lorne Michaels’ power, this season of Saturday Night Live shall end as it began, with a former cast member in the host’s spotlight. Andy Samberg has been chosen to head up the show’s May 17 finale, hosting for his first time—alongside St. Vincent’s own debut as musical guest—and bringing full circle a year that kicked off with Tina Fey, so it is complete, kali ma kali ma kali ma, shakti de. In between, SNL’s final three episodes of its 39th season will welcome Andrew Garfield on May 3, consciously coupled with Coldplay, and Charlize Theron and The Black Keys on May 10. And with no veteran cast members set to leave at the end of this season, it’s anyone’s guess who will be asked ...

This woman's story of finding and keeping true love for decades will give you a good reason to shed a few tears.

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Behold, a rather NSFW video of a Swiss performance artist pushing paint-filled eggs out of her vaginal canal, in order to produce a piece of splatter art meant as a meditation on "the creative power of the femininity." No doubt everyone will have some very strong feelings about this one!

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A Tennessee woman helping her son hunt for Easter eggs makes a startling discovery in her own backyard. WBIR reports.

An India man's apparent attempt to evade taxes by swallowing gold did not have a glittering end. Amir Daftari reports.

Think of this as the Latin American answer to Louisiana’s Holy Trinity of celery, onion, and bell pepper. It’s an essential cooking base for classic dishes like rope vieja (braised beef) or arroz con pollo (chicken and rice). Goya‘s sofrito is a mix of tomatoes, onions, peppers, cilantro, and garlic, deeply caramelized in olive oil and pureed. Use a heaping spoonful to jump-start a soup or braise, or stir into sauce for enchiladas. Sold at most supermarkets.

If you’d like to make a homemade version, try our Sofrito recipe from our April 2001 issue.

CNN picks a fine assortment of chocolate eggs

Rita Jeptoo of Kenya just won her third Boston Marathon with a blazing time of 2:18:57. Each of the top four women's finishers broke the course's previous record today. The top finishing American, Shalane Flanagan, broke her personal best and came in 6th after leading for the first 20 miles of the race. Meanwhile, I'm not wearing pants.

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